March 16, 2021 • 41 mins
Michelle and Bevy are bringing you a lot of laughter and love in this episode! The ladies discuss the stigma behind being a “strong black woman”, stories from her book and risking it all to chase her dreams. CHECK IN to this episode for a reminder of how making sacrifices can lead to ultimate happiness and success!
To buy Bevy’s book Bevelations: Lessons From a Mutha, Auntie, Bestie, visit https://www.bevysmith.com/
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
My Heart Radio and The Black Effect. Hey everyone, it's
Michelle Williams. I think most people can relate to this.
(00:22):
You're in your uncomfortable job, but you feel stuck and uninspired.
My next guest left the comfort of a high powered,
not only high powered, high paying job and struggled to
pursue her dream job. How did she do it and
why did she do it? Find out next here on
Checking In with Michelle Williams. I am so excited to
(01:00):
be sharing this time with you. This podcast was inspired
by my upcoming books Checking In, and it was an
emotional and uplifting experience. I wanted to share some of
the most difficult times in my life. And the good
thing is about this episode is that Betty shares how
difficult times in her life turned into wonderful opportunities. And
(01:21):
it's all in her book Bevelations, and we're just kind
of going off those same things of how you can
turn pain into purpose. I'm so excited to introduce my
next guest. There are times we just start talking and
that's just how we do. She is a serious x
and radio host television personality. Entrepreneur, fashionist stuff, just so
(01:45):
many adjectives that are just related to her and author
of her new book that I'm excited about bevelations. Not
that you can see that it's in my hand. But
please welcome to my podcast, Betty Smith. I love you
a show. I'm so happy to be here with you.
And I have to tell you I was ten seconds
off canceling my entire afternoon of interviews because I'm like exhausted,
(02:11):
and then I saw you were my last interview, and
I said, oh, well, I'm not going to cancel on Michelle,
because I knew that we were gonna have the best
conversation every So, yes, we love me from you. I
love myself YouTube, thank you, and I'm proud of you
and everything that you just continued to stand in tip
(02:35):
in your stilettos in and I'll just ask you. I mean,
I think we just see you as this fierce, confident woman.
It's not a show, it's not a mask, it is
who that's who you are. But are there moments where
you're like, I can't be strong today, even today where
(02:56):
you were like I'm tired, No, no, I was exhausted.
I up this morning way too early, did some work.
By the time I was ready to go back to sleep,
it was time to get back to work. I mean,
even's something to get up for work. So I got
you know what I did. I actually went on clubhouse
and I started the room called. I didn't get enough
(03:16):
sleep last night, but I have a very busy day
because I think it's important to have transparency, because, like
you just said, there are times when even the most
up bee person, even the most polished person, confident person,
whatever you think, someone has like a going on, they
don't feel and not to tell you something. Michelle, Contrary
(03:37):
to popular belief, I am not the strong black woman,
and I have no desire to be. I was not
raised to beat her and I don't want to beat her.
So I grew up with um, you know, a fabulous
father who was very much a caretaker and I mean
a caregiver and a provider, and so I like to
(03:58):
be provided for him and to be care for so
I don't mind asking for help. As you know, when
we were getting ready for this, I had two young
men behind me doing all kinds of things. They're my
beautiful sons. Might you know the book called Lessons for
My Mother Auntie Bessie, and the mother part is all
the adopted sons primarily that I have in my life.
(04:19):
And you know, so I'm calling my sons and be like,
mother does not know how to do X, Y and Z.
Come and do this for mother, not show mother how
to do it. I'd be like, come and do it
for mother, because mother has no interest in learning how
to do certain things, because I feel like people should
be doing them for me, and a strong black woman
feels like she can do it all herself. I am
(04:42):
not that woman. Did y'all catch what she said? Because
we live in a society and maybe songs like independent
women might be to blame. No, no, because by the way,
you don't catch that and be post man and think
I'm ashamed and I'm here for independent women. Okay, so
(05:04):
don't do that exactly. No, it's not the independent women's
song that's the problem. What is the problem is when
people feel like we're supposed to carry the weight of
the world on our shoulders and there's no one there
to assist us, and we're supposed to just be able
to take it because we're the mother of civilization. We
are all those things where we are also just humans.
(05:28):
Come on, everyone who is just a human being needs
someone to lift them up at times, needs a shoulder
to lean on, needs a shoulder to cry on. So
I am very proficient at burying my soul. But that
wasn't always the case. Mi Shell and I talked about
that in my book Revelations Lessons from a Mother Best.
(05:49):
I talk about those vulnerable spaces that I had to
find myself in so that I could be the better
person that I am. To them, are people shot when
you're vulnerable? Yes, we're not anymore as much, but they
used to be very, very shocked because, believe it or not, Michelle,
I was a much tougher cookie when I was a
(06:12):
fashion advertising exact case, when I was working at Vibing
at Rolling Stone Magazine or I cracked the whip, I
was tough as nails. And that was a real problem
for me because then when I needed something and when
I wasn't feeling great, people wouldn't even take what I
was saying seriously, like you know whatever, Okay, you know
(06:34):
you got this, and I'd be like, I actually don't.
I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. And so I
had to learn that you know, um, in my book,
I talked about getting into the core of who you
are and then understanding how you're being perceived and then
tapping into how you would like to be perceived. And
that's how you you should really kind of navigate your
(06:58):
life as far as like the way you want to
position yourself in this world. So from which is the
red soul proposition? Right? Let me tell you something many
mother read, Okay, and that was definitely one of the questions, y'all.
(07:19):
Once again, I y'all are listening to Betty Smith her
new book Bevelations Lessons from a Mother, Auntie and Bestie,
which we all need one of the three are all
three in our life, and she also all three and
we're always all three of them as women as women. Yes,
right said that you're a mini mother, but I know
(07:40):
you're an actual auntie to so maam six of them,
and I day shan't know your bestie to a bunch
of people, ma'am. So you know, we all chapped into that,
and so this book is about chapping into that. A's
also acknowledging that person because I'm I've been mothered by
people that were not my mother. I've been to buy
a woman who was literally two or three years older
(08:03):
than me, and then we call her Aunt Diane. We
hung out together in the streets, but she was so
even though she was only like three years older than me,
she was just wiser. She had just such a different
outlook on life. So she was Aunt Diane. And then
the mother you know, Ms. Lawrence is mother to me.
We have all of these different amazing connections and relationships.
(08:24):
And that's really what I'm talking about with that subtitle.
It's about the relationships, the connections and the love that
we experience. What surprised you the most after you were
done writing your book, Well, what I will tell you
is what surprised me the most, um while promoting the
book is that so many people supported me in such
(08:45):
a huge way. It's like because we read it, like, Okay,
what advice is she gonna give? You? Know, um, the
stories that you tell about her relationships as it relates
to um, sex and shopping, like, yes, yes, please, I identify. Surprisingly, yes,
Michelle identifies with some things in this book. Ladies and gentlemen, Michelle,
(09:12):
did you enjoy the man hunt chapter where I talk
about the failed relationships and why I believe they failed.
I literally have been asking friends, is it me? Or
did I choose wrong? What is going on here? Yes?
But you know what, Michelle, here's the thing about is
it me? That's that's don't play some blame. Yeah, don't
(09:33):
try and blame. But it is about looking at ourselves
in a really pure and unadulter raated way and saying,
what part did I play in it? Because we do
have a part. We have a part, no matter how
much we may think someone did us wrong or you know,
it didn't turn out the way we thought it was
going to. Um, we play the part in it, and um,
(09:55):
you know, for me, it was very important to write
Man Hunts because the person up the focal part of it,
the last person I throw off is ever gonna marry.
We're friends now. It took us years to be really
become actual friends, because years to step away from it
being sexual tension and friends, but like we could still
(10:17):
go there kind of thing, and now we are in
this really great solid place of friendship. Now when you
love someone and you respect them, which is how I
feel about him now, which I don't even think I
felt like that about him when we were together. How
about the man I don't think I had as much
of love and respect that I had for him now
that I did when I was with him. Now, could
(10:39):
you all get married right now? No? No, no, because
because we do think sometimes if you just love the person,
that's enough. No, but we gotta there's respect, there's respect.
I don't respect be more important because yeah, and you
know what, and we need to give respect and we
(11:00):
also need to receive respect. That's good. No. I was
talking to my my, my love Tamar. I did her podcast,
and it's like sometimes every now and again, I bought
somebody that's gonna, like, you know, tell me come in
like you know, kind of like grab my f It's like, yeah,
I don't desire that. I'm not interested at all and
(11:22):
any kind of dysfunction of that ILK. But I get
why a lot of women are still into that. That's
everybody's got their own bag. That's not my back. My
bag is this. I'm not thinging to sit up here
and fuss and fight with people. I'm grown. If we
cannot talk and have a conversation and figure it out,
(11:43):
I need to be out of that situation because I
don't have drama in my life because I respect the
people that I'm closest with. And when you don't have
drama in your life, there you have peace in your life.
You probably don't have as many physical ailments and stuff
because drama creates so many ailments, mental, physical, spiritual grains,
(12:05):
back aches. Listen you. I am so trying making sure
I respect your time and know that you are out
in these streets promoting your book. But I just gotta
have you back, even just for that statement alone in
your memory. As you stated, um a few minutes ago,
being an executive at magazines like Rolling Stone, you made
(12:29):
a leap of faith and you laughed, you left, which
left you, as you say, dead broke two things. What
is the key and did it contribute to your happiness? Oh? Yeah,
making the jump may be very happy. Um. In the
listful chapter, I talked about how happy I was when
(12:51):
I was really bad, sad broke, when I was in
housing courts and being recognized because I had done a
couple of things on one and b aren't you that
any from it? I'd be like, yes, maybe, like what
are you doing here? I'm like, what are you doing here?
And they would say I'm here in housing call because
I'm trying to figure out how to pay my friend
Me too, Sweetie, me too. And I didn't not have
(13:11):
shame about it, Michelle, And I gotta say, you know,
I'll never have those kind of issues again, financial issues again.
I really don't believe that God would ever put that
in my space ever again, because I think I needed
to go through that for whatever reason. But I just
so feeling my spirit that I will ever have financial
issues of that ilk ever again. I'm not on this wood,
(13:33):
come on, but some things are there to teach us, right,
so we don't have to go through that again. But
what I will say about that that situation is that
I knew that it was going to be good for
the book the entire time when that happened. When that
lady said that to me, I was like, well, that's
gonna be good for the book. And I also had
(13:53):
to and I talked about that one chapter where the
God from the barbershop called me over and was like
you all right, And I was like, I'm good at
why He's like, well, because you used to get in
and out of town cars and now I see you
taking this bus. I was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, no,
I'm changing my life it's really going well, all these
great things on TV, and I'm writing like, this is
(14:14):
not making any money anymore, but it's good. It's good.
And he was like looking at me like I was crazy.
Now of course they see me and they're like, I'm
proud of you. You did it, and I'm like, yeah,
you know, I would at a lover that. I remember
I did a vision board and he was like, this
is ridiculous. And at that point I no longer needed
validation from a man, so I was just looking at
(14:35):
him like, well, maybe it's you that's ridiculous, because no
one they asked you. Why don't you go and uh
give me a glass of champagne or something to make
it so useful, you know what I mean. But you know, um,
it was a really great moment in my life and
I would not trade it because because I went through that,
(14:55):
I created Dinner with Bebby. Because I did with Bebby,
I have great relationships with celebrities like yourself. If I
hadn't done Dinner with Bebby, I guess I would have
gone directly into TV hosting and things like that. But
you guys wouldn't have known me known me like now,
when people come on my radio show and when I'm
doing TV and they come on my TV shows, they
(15:17):
know me because I fed them. Because we're dying together.
And there's something intimate and special about when someone feed
you and you break bread. That's so good. And I
pray that when this is all over, we do it again.
But I believe it's not that you had this amazing job,
(15:38):
the whole Pie powered executive. We know it was paying well,
but I do believe you were able to leap into purpose,
into your purpose right. And so it's to encourage other
people out there. And I'm not saying you quit your
six figure jobs and whatever, whatever it is. I'm not
saying unless you just feel like really lead. But so
(16:00):
many people are going through a transition with it, whether
it's spiritual and related to your job. But just know
that you're gonna transition and or leap right into purpose. Yes,
it's so true, because I am meant to be a
mentor and a guide and a teacher. And that's why
this book, Revelations Lessons from a Mother Auntie Bestie is
(16:22):
a self help book. Then it's a member to help
people get their lives on track and to dare to
dream like when I talk about wanting to become or no,
not wanting to become. When I talk about that, I
am going to become an egot. No bold that is
you know what I mean? Like, you've done Broadway, you
(16:46):
have Grammys, you could easily do a movie. So so
so I'm explained to you this way for you to
become an egoy is a much quicker path and a
much more reasonable path than for me to become a
league got because you could easily do a TV show,
a daytime talk show. You were amazing when used to
(17:06):
subing for the real right sub the real um the
talk Yes, yes, yeah, so you're really great rank you
so you could easily land a job like that, and
then that would get you an empty You already have
a Grammys. Man, you're an actor and actress, so yeah,
all you have to do is like get in a
(17:28):
good movie and get a gritty role and then you
go you get your Oscar and then you've done Broadway.
So okay, you already know you get a Tony because
all you need is opportunities. That's a nugget job, that's
a jewel. Yes, I think that's the difference between success
and maybe someone's current situation where they feel like they're
(17:49):
at zero is just opportunity. It's just opportunity. And then
sometimes we have to make our online Come on, somebody,
that's so good. So for me, I'm sad I'm starting
that zero from egot borrow. I mean, yes, I do
daytime TV, so I can get em, so that probably
I could do. But my egot plan is em me
for daytime TV. Grammy for the audio book Oscar Or
(18:13):
a superb fifteen minute performance. Remember Ruby D was nominated
for Best Supporting Actress and American Gangster, and it was
all about that scene where she told Denzel Washington or
and that was literally maybe eight minutes of a scene,
but she looked there was enough to get a nominated
for a Best Supporting Actress. Come on, you ain't gotta
(18:34):
do too much, too much like you just gotta be
good in that moment that you're doing it. That's why
when people talk about, oh, I'm doing this little something,
I'm doing this little that's because you ain't got no vision.
Because just because something is not the starring space or
not the biggest opportunity does not mean it cannot garner
you your dreams coming true. It can facilitate your dreams
(18:58):
coming true. It's not the size that matters, it's the
quality that matchs. Okay, somebody says, she then drops a
few bevelations. You better get into it and write them down.
So it's simple as what you say out of your
mouth and believe that what you say out of your
(19:18):
mouth can and will happen. I don't know if you
still do vision boards or not, but it's literally just
saying that thing every single day. People are tired of
or of being consistent, but consistency brings results, So it's
also being consistent. And when you walk by, I don't
know if you might have uh, Emmy Grammy and an
(19:39):
oscar and a Tony. It could be replica sitting around
your house, but we do know you're gonna have the
real thing and where two or three can agree. So
I'm with you on that, baby, and I know that
it's going to happen, and I'm gonna be sitting there clapping,
rooting like Taggi and at me where they see her
(20:00):
clamping and root another black woman on. Yeah, but I'll
tell you this too. But wherever God takes me on
this journey it's gonna be exactly where I need to be.
Where I'm supposes me. So we don't even worry about
the outcome. How about them? We do our good work,
(20:21):
and Chell, listen, we do our good work, and then
we leave it alone. Come on, do our good work.
And we dropped the mic and we walk away, and
we let God take care of the rest. And don't
be like me, inspect the gadget trying to help God.
He don't need your help. Leave it alone, Let go
and let God go. Let God. In your book Bevelations
(20:43):
Lessons from a Mother, Untie and Bestie, was there chapter
that you almost probably like, yeah, that probably shouldn't go
in there there's a crazy section where I became Malibu Bevy.
I created that. That's a crazy story. I will tell
a trunk had the version of it. I basically went
um to New Year's Eve. That's meant alone. I was
(21:05):
going to hawaite. I live in New York City, so
for me to go right, I like, good. It's a
long flight, and I was so I used to do
a layover in Los Angeles because that's five hours, and
then happen to Hawaii. Right at the time. I had
a tender lover come on. So I was like, I'm
gonna do a very long layover so I could get laid. Okay, now,
(21:30):
so my tender lover came to pick me up from
the airport. We when and got some Mexican food. We
went and made the love and we got me back
to the airport. But when I was when I was
sitting in my first class seat, I was a little
income and I couldn't figure out what it was and
it was a thriving in my my posterior. Now we
(21:50):
hadn't done anything back there, so I was like, I
don't know what. I don't know what's going on. And
um so I get to Hawaii five hour flight and
I'm in real pain. Not called up by my girl friend.
She's like, oh, it's probably a him bright to sorry Tima,
but it's in the book t M. I. I go
through all the places I have the best time in
him life, but my my, but it's searing pain. But
(22:16):
I mean, I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm in a
lot of trouble. But right, but every night I'm talking
to the god from l A and we're talking and everything.
But then in the middle of it, too I'm also
going on the beach, and I say in the book
the waves were crashing and the pain was crashing too.
(22:36):
You know what I mean that I was able to
actually dream and create this alter ego callte Malibu Betty,
and Malibu Beby has natural hair, lives on the place
with you know where, she overlooks the water. Um. She
has an amazing lover partner who washes her hair, embrace
(22:58):
her um and watches her and greases a scalp on Sundays.
And then we eat a very early dinner and then
we make the love on the deck, and then we
go to bed by nine o'clock and we get up
in the morning like six am. We greet the sun.
We do somebody's yoga on our on our privy reach.
It's beautiful. I dreamed all of that while I was
(23:20):
suffering in pain and Promolulu. Now go go imagine that.
So when I when I'm making the coming back, I
lay over again and I'm still in pain. But at
this point I was still trying to satisfy minute in
course to the show. So I do not tell this
man I'm in pain, and instead I go and we
make the love again. Even though I'm in pain. But now,
(23:42):
thankfully he was a man who liked very traditional, lovely
doing the count of tricks me. So it's fine, but
I'm in pain. And when I get back home, I
go to the doctor and they're like, man, you have
an anal fissure, which is a tear. It was a
horrible thing. But out of that pain came a dream
(24:03):
of Malibu Bevy, which I'm getting closer to every single
day because right now I have a lot of space
in my my apartment. You know, this is on to
come by New York City at outdoor space. I have
not you here on the weekend. You know, proper weird
Off is gonna be my love when you post um.
It's sometimes when you're just yet your current girls, and
(24:28):
so it's like a wonderful thing. But like I thought
about that, I was like, is this doing too much?
And I said to myself, no, I need to go
there because I think that a lot of women will
be able to connect with the idea of being in
pain but it's physical or mental, but still trying to
please a man, still trying to please and perform and perform.
(24:50):
What about that? What about the performance? Michelle and and
that's that's that's pretty much the scope of the industry.
You perform in pain, you mile in pain, or what
you think about the athlete? You know, they even they
have to perform and play, you know, while they're in pain.
I always wondered about y'all whenever I but watch y'all performed,
(25:11):
I'll be like, now, what do they do when they
have really bad crimps? What do they do with I
would always because you know, like I look at y'all
not you know, y'all just show up and do all
the dances and it's not like y'all can take off
them days because y'all now, I want to say, there
was only one time as a group, Destiny's Child where
(25:34):
um Be still performer. She was really really sick and
Kelly and I had to swap her verses. But you
still keep going because people didn't pay their money to
come see You cannot cancel at the last minute, and
that goes on today. I mean, how many shows, baby?
Can you be like, I'm a cancel today? I gotta migrating. Yeah,
(25:57):
not in this business. You cannot and you feel like
you can't. I think we can. I think we can.
I think that that's where the freedom comes in that
and the and and and having agency over your own life.
And that's what I believe want to put forth in
the book as well, is that women have got to
take agency over their own lives. I've got to stop
(26:20):
looking at other people and let them dick take to
us who we are and what we can do. Like
you know, Michelle, um, I always say this about you.
One of the things I love most about you is
that you have such a backbone. You know, people are
I think, now no, because you you've clapped back on
enough folks, I know, But but you do it so
(26:44):
beautifully angel, and it's still it's still tender, but you
get with them. And but that's a good thing because
people can just can't sit up and tel it greasy
to you any all kind of way that they they
want to, Because what does that do to you, that
that that's so told on your spirit where you're constantly
always having to eat you know, as a and act
(27:07):
like you enjoy it. M hm. So it's good for
women to be able to speak up for themselves, to
have agency over their lives and to correctly over their careers.
You know, you have to be able to do the
music that you want to do. You have to be
able to take the roles that you want to take.
And sometimes when we have handlers around us, when we
have family around us, people will tell us all the
(27:30):
things that we should be doing and what you're good at. Well, no,
we have to make that determination. But only we truly
know what makes us happen. Listen, I was just like,
I want to call you coach Bevy. I will tell
you now, you know, my goal is to have a
fairy godmother's show where it's like Shark Tank meets I
(27:52):
Young to fix in my life. And it's only gonna
be for career accounts. They're here for. It's not nothing
about your personal life. I don't want to know. But
I don't want to drive nobody like you know that
good book that y'all to do and burying stuff and
then get kick it up. I don't want to. I
would like to use all my relationships and my contacts
(28:12):
and also my experience and helping people really kind of
find a way to tap into their dreams and follow
their passion. Well, I think you should, and this book
is definitely a start. I have always admired your boldness,
your transparency, um, your ability to tell it like it is,
and it is you and it is all you, and
(28:33):
I thank you so much for giving us your time.
I have maybe two more questions. But you have your
own show and you've had it on serious for years now.
On page one eight six, you have a wild and
fun story that you talk about with Grace Jones. Come
on now, y'all gotta get this book now because we
(28:55):
ain't go. We can't tell you everything in this book.
Got to tell you everything, But let me just tell
you this Grace Jones. Interviewing Grace Jones was amazing on
so many different lovers. She told me that lady Goga
did not have a soul, as in not that she
didn't have soul, that she thought she was devoid of
a soul. Okay, you know Grace as a preachers. Ye
(29:16):
she is brother, her brother Noel Jones. Yeah, exactly. The
Grace Jones was like, she did not have a soul.
I did not feel anything coming from her. When I
met her. I was like, okay, great shows, Betty Bugg.
Then she told me she was piste off the Kim
Kardashian Um actually stold her picture, you know the picture
(29:39):
of paper magazine with the up Champaigne on it. But
Grace Jones did that first. And and honestly, the photographer
Jean Paul Good was Grace Jones's lover and the son
of her the father of her son, but he also
shot the Kim Kardashian thing, but she was still piste
off that it was like a knock for so Grace
(30:02):
was a key keeper. So in the book, there's a
picture of Grace grabbing my butt, and it's because when
I met with Grace, she knew she saw in my
breast and she was like, oh, they're beautiful, blah blah
blah blah blah blah. But when I stood up and
she's like, oh my god, you have a butt too,
and then she was in fact with But so it's
(30:23):
the only time I was ever sexually arousal lost. Y'all
have to get this amazing book which I hold in
my hand, and I've been able to get through the
majority of it, and I was excited because it was
in a box. Um. I think BT Awards and the
physical coffee has made its way to my lap. And
(30:47):
I'm excited because there are people that in my life
where I'm like it's cool to get books you know
in the mail that you know I didn't have to purchase,
but to know I'm excited to go and purchase this
book or some ladies in my life to let you
know that I love you and I support you, and
I'm gonna make sure that I get it signed by
(31:08):
you one day for sure. Um. And we've been just
all you know. Earlier, you know, we talked about how
we cannot wait to see each other again, hold each
other again, hug and really talk with each other. How
have you been holding up coping? Yeah, what with y'all?
You know what, as soon as we found out that
there was gonna be a real pandemic, I got back
(31:29):
in the therapy. So that's been really a life saving
for me. Um. But you know, I I was saying
this to someone else. I do not believe that any
of us know how we're dealing with this, because it's
gonna take years for us to really figure out what
this whole pandemic did to us. But please believe it.
(31:51):
We are walking around in the altered state because we
have been locked away in our homes for a year
at this point. And who would have ever thought that
this would happen to us, and that there's nowhere to go.
It's everywhere grow. That's a part that killed me because
(32:12):
you know, I got a couple of coins, so I
was like, this ain't even a coin issue. It's ineffected
everybody in every socio economic class. Everybody was sitting at home, man,
like I can't go nowhere, I can't go anywhere. Like
it's like there's no escaping again. You know, God is
always in control and everything is as it should be,
(32:34):
but it does feel and it is one of those
times where it still feels like eerie that for as
much as we feel like we're doing the damn thing,
we literally had no control overens and there was no
one that can help you. I remember I got coromnavirus
March thirteen, like that's when I saw really feeling sick,
and um Andy Cohen had gutten that like maybe a
(32:55):
week prior or something. So I called Andy and I
was like, um, you know, how did you get the test?
He was like, I really haven't gotten a test. I
was like, and you need to use your influence to
get a damn test. And he was like, what do
you mean. I'm like, Andy, you're Andy Cohen, call up
somebody and get a test, sir. I was like, get
tests and celebrities, go get a test. And then he
went and got his test and everything. But you know,
(33:17):
I had the poll strings to get my test um.
And then of course they couldn't do anything for you.
And that was earlier on. They weren't testing, especially unless
you just had serious symptoms or if you were elderly,
and it was literally if you were like you came
into the emergency room and you literally cannot breathe, that's
the only way you could get a test. And so
I had to pull some strings to get a test.
(33:39):
And then my dad passed away, and I was gonna
ask I didn't know if you were comfortable to share
about those that are going through grief and lost during
this moment. Yes, yes, um and lost. And you know
that was very, very painful. And my dad was was
elderly and he was not he was not doing as well.
(34:00):
And he my daddy so always say I'm going down slow.
So when he passed, the thing that bothered me about
him passing was not so much that he passed away,
that he passed away in the pandemic. So he wasn't
able to have the funeral that he deserved. He's a
World War two Vetterlan, he should have a military funeral.
My mom should have been death out and all of
(34:22):
her finest clothes, because my mother loves had the way
it has Matt Suit. My father should have had singing
at his funeral. He should have had someone. He should
have had his children talking about him at his funeral.
We couldn't speak at his funeral because it was so
early on during the pandemic Michelle that you didn't know
how easily it was transmitted or not to their own
(34:45):
people there. And then we were all masked up and
everyone told via zoom, so it was like, you know,
his niece did the eulogy. Ms. Laurence sang amazing grace,
but it was all one zool, cold and sterile homegoing.
It was a funeral was not homegoing, and that's not right.
And you know Mrs Lee Tyson and Mary Wilson, two
(35:09):
women that were always out and about, vibrant. Ms Mary
Wilson towards are always working, always working. The last year
of her life she was robbed of that of her
joy of working. Mrs Lee Tyson, I always see alec
galas and events and things like that since tyson last
year of her life ahead, and that's what pisses me
(35:33):
off about them, and how it could have been handled
better and earlier to where there wouldn't be so much loss.
So you know, UM, my heart goes out to you,
My heart goes out to your mother and um your
family members in the loss of your father, Gus gust
(35:55):
Lee Smith. We honor you, gust Lee Smith, and we
thank you so much for the joy that you helped
bring into this world which is known as Betty Smith. Y'all,
let me tell you something. It has been a joy
and an honor to have you on checking in and
(36:16):
let's continue to check in with each other. Okay, I
love you. I want to check them with you all
the time, ma'am, miss your little smiling face. But I
have your music to keep me pumped up and invigorated.
So and I'm excited for your book, Bevelations Lessons from
a Mother Auntie Bestie Betty Smith. Y'all, please support, please
(36:37):
support her book and tell them the audio book is
narrated by me, so you get all the voice and
all of them and the vigor and everything. When can
we get the audio book right now. All it is done, okay,
because sometimes they don't come, you know, at the same time,
a book is here, all of it. And also one
last note to your beautiful listeners, no matter how old
(37:00):
you are, no matter what circumstances you're in, please remember
it gets great later. I was thirty eight when I
put my job. I was forty five and I got
my first TV show. I was fifty when I got
my second TV show, and I'm fifty four and this
book has just come out. It gets greater later, y'all,
So please do not give up on your dreams, follow
(37:20):
your passion. That is so good, y'all. Please give it
up for Betty Smith. Y'all. Thank you for checking in.
We'll see you again next time you guys. This interview
(37:46):
was so much fun. I love chopping it up with
Betty because you know the title of her book once
again is Bevelations Lessons from My Mother, Auntie or Bestie,
and she just reminds me of someone that I had
in my life where I could talk to them about men, sex,
what's going on at home, what's going on with family,
(38:06):
and they just say, girl, just pour you a nice
little Voka Tonic. You know, although I'm not promoting alcoholism, um,
but she just reminds me of someone who can just
tell it like it is, and you know it's from
the heart and that she means you well, and so well,
let's take it backwards, you know when she said it
gets greater later. So how many of us are you
(38:27):
know your twenty five or your fifteen or your thirty five,
and you're like, life just isn't going well for me.
But a lot of times things kind of don't get
you in until you're about forty. So I'm not gonna
tell you just because you're fifteen stopped doing good, because listen,
you can have success at nineteen or twenty. But I think,
to me, that true thing, I think, where you really
(38:50):
kind of get into your stride with your purpose might
come a little later. So I'm just so happy that
she was transparent and share it with us. But I'm
also glad she didn't stop, because if she stopped, we
wouldn't have Bevy, we wouldn't have Bevelations, and she wouldn't
have been here on my show today. So I'm so
glad that she's stuck with it and that she was
(39:12):
able to encourage us to just take that leap of faith.
You take that leap of faith, you leap right into
your purpose. So don't be afraid to really go after
what you're passionate about. I know, in my family, we
were supposed to go to school. I'm supposed to have
a college degree, because doing music and entertainment professionally was
(39:32):
kind of frowned upon. But out of the fear of sex, drugs,
and rock and roll, or out of the fear of
you're gonna go broke and be like every other entertainer
that we've seen on certain television shows. But I really
believe that I keep evolving. I believe I'm more so
into my purpose. But I keep evolving. But I took
(39:53):
that leap, and I kind of went against an opposite
of what was expected of me and kind of what
was in ucted of me to do. Once again, I'm
not telling some of y'all to disobey your parents. Okay,
because you're still living at home, you gotta abide by
the rules. But I was in college by this point.
So but what's she gonna do? And she can't catch
(40:14):
me at mean, I run faster than her, But listen,
I keep going on about, you know, Bebby's realness, y'all,
get into Malabu Bevy and get into the chapter of
her book read Soul Proposition and how you determine your worth,
not anybody else. You determine your worth and you can
(40:34):
put people in their place when they say something that
kind of devalues you. So that's been my takeaway with
my interview today with Betty y'all. I hope y'all enjoy it.
It's definitely one of my favorites. Thanks again for checking
in with Michelle Williams. Ye Checking In with Michelle Williams
(41:12):
is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect.
For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I
heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows.
Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
My Heart Radio and The Black Effect. Hey everyone, it's
Michelle Williams. I think most people can relate to this.
(00:22):
You're in your uncomfortable job, but you feel stuck and uninspired.
My next guest left the comfort of a high powered,
not only high powered, high paying job and struggled to
pursue her dream job. How did she do it and
why did she do it? Find out next here on
Checking In with Michelle Williams. I am so excited to
(01:00):
be sharing this time with you. This podcast was inspired
by my upcoming books Checking In, and it was an
emotional and uplifting experience. I wanted to share some of
the most difficult times in my life. And the good
thing is about this episode is that Betty shares how
difficult times in her life turned into wonderful opportunities. And
(01:21):
it's all in her book Bevelations, and we're just kind
of going off those same things of how you can
turn pain into purpose. I'm so excited to introduce my
next guest. There are times we just start talking and
that's just how we do. She is a serious x
and radio host television personality. Entrepreneur, fashionist stuff, just so
(01:45):
many adjectives that are just related to her and author
of her new book that I'm excited about bevelations. Not
that you can see that it's in my hand. But
please welcome to my podcast, Betty Smith. I love you
a show. I'm so happy to be here with you.
And I have to tell you I was ten seconds
off canceling my entire afternoon of interviews because I'm like exhausted,
(02:11):
and then I saw you were my last interview, and
I said, oh, well, I'm not going to cancel on Michelle,
because I knew that we were gonna have the best
conversation every So, yes, we love me from you. I
love myself YouTube, thank you, and I'm proud of you
and everything that you just continued to stand in tip
(02:35):
in your stilettos in and I'll just ask you. I mean,
I think we just see you as this fierce, confident woman.
It's not a show, it's not a mask, it is
who that's who you are. But are there moments where
you're like, I can't be strong today, even today where
(02:56):
you were like I'm tired, No, no, I was exhausted.
I up this morning way too early, did some work.
By the time I was ready to go back to sleep,
it was time to get back to work. I mean,
even's something to get up for work. So I got
you know what I did. I actually went on clubhouse
and I started the room called. I didn't get enough
(03:16):
sleep last night, but I have a very busy day
because I think it's important to have transparency, because, like
you just said, there are times when even the most
up bee person, even the most polished person, confident person,
whatever you think, someone has like a going on, they
don't feel and not to tell you something. Michelle, Contrary
(03:37):
to popular belief, I am not the strong black woman,
and I have no desire to be. I was not
raised to beat her and I don't want to beat her.
So I grew up with um, you know, a fabulous
father who was very much a caretaker and I mean
a caregiver and a provider, and so I like to
(03:58):
be provided for him and to be care for so
I don't mind asking for help. As you know, when
we were getting ready for this, I had two young
men behind me doing all kinds of things. They're my
beautiful sons. Might you know the book called Lessons for
My Mother Auntie Bessie, and the mother part is all
the adopted sons primarily that I have in my life.
(04:19):
And you know, so I'm calling my sons and be like,
mother does not know how to do X, Y and Z.
Come and do this for mother, not show mother how
to do it. I'd be like, come and do it
for mother, because mother has no interest in learning how
to do certain things, because I feel like people should
be doing them for me, and a strong black woman
feels like she can do it all herself. I am
(04:42):
not that woman. Did y'all catch what she said? Because
we live in a society and maybe songs like independent
women might be to blame. No, no, because by the way,
you don't catch that and be post man and think
I'm ashamed and I'm here for independent women. Okay, so
(05:04):
don't do that exactly. No, it's not the independent women's
song that's the problem. What is the problem is when
people feel like we're supposed to carry the weight of
the world on our shoulders and there's no one there
to assist us, and we're supposed to just be able
to take it because we're the mother of civilization. We
are all those things where we are also just humans.
(05:28):
Come on, everyone who is just a human being needs
someone to lift them up at times, needs a shoulder
to lean on, needs a shoulder to cry on. So
I am very proficient at burying my soul. But that
wasn't always the case. Mi Shell and I talked about
that in my book Revelations Lessons from a Mother Best.
(05:49):
I talk about those vulnerable spaces that I had to
find myself in so that I could be the better
person that I am. To them, are people shot when
you're vulnerable? Yes, we're not anymore as much, but they
used to be very, very shocked because, believe it or not, Michelle,
I was a much tougher cookie when I was a
(06:12):
fashion advertising exact case, when I was working at Vibing
at Rolling Stone Magazine or I cracked the whip, I
was tough as nails. And that was a real problem
for me because then when I needed something and when
I wasn't feeling great, people wouldn't even take what I
was saying seriously, like you know whatever, Okay, you know
(06:34):
you got this, and I'd be like, I actually don't.
I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. And so I
had to learn that you know, um, in my book,
I talked about getting into the core of who you
are and then understanding how you're being perceived and then
tapping into how you would like to be perceived. And
that's how you you should really kind of navigate your
(06:58):
life as far as like the way you want to
position yourself in this world. So from which is the
red soul proposition? Right? Let me tell you something many
mother read, Okay, and that was definitely one of the questions, y'all.
(07:19):
Once again, I y'all are listening to Betty Smith her
new book Bevelations Lessons from a Mother, Auntie and Bestie,
which we all need one of the three are all
three in our life, and she also all three and
we're always all three of them as women as women. Yes,
right said that you're a mini mother, but I know
(07:40):
you're an actual auntie to so maam six of them,
and I day shan't know your bestie to a bunch
of people, ma'am. So you know, we all chapped into that,
and so this book is about chapping into that. A's
also acknowledging that person because I'm I've been mothered by
people that were not my mother. I've been to buy
a woman who was literally two or three years older
(08:03):
than me, and then we call her Aunt Diane. We
hung out together in the streets, but she was so
even though she was only like three years older than me,
she was just wiser. She had just such a different
outlook on life. So she was Aunt Diane. And then
the mother you know, Ms. Lawrence is mother to me.
We have all of these different amazing connections and relationships.
(08:24):
And that's really what I'm talking about with that subtitle.
It's about the relationships, the connections and the love that
we experience. What surprised you the most after you were
done writing your book, Well, what I will tell you
is what surprised me the most, um while promoting the
book is that so many people supported me in such
(08:45):
a huge way. It's like because we read it, like, Okay,
what advice is she gonna give? You? Know, um, the
stories that you tell about her relationships as it relates
to um, sex and shopping, like, yes, yes, please, I identify. Surprisingly, yes,
Michelle identifies with some things in this book. Ladies and gentlemen, Michelle,
(09:12):
did you enjoy the man hunt chapter where I talk
about the failed relationships and why I believe they failed.
I literally have been asking friends, is it me? Or
did I choose wrong? What is going on here? Yes?
But you know what, Michelle, here's the thing about is
it me? That's that's don't play some blame. Yeah, don't
(09:33):
try and blame. But it is about looking at ourselves
in a really pure and unadulter raated way and saying,
what part did I play in it? Because we do
have a part. We have a part, no matter how
much we may think someone did us wrong or you know,
it didn't turn out the way we thought it was
going to. Um, we play the part in it, and um,
(09:55):
you know, for me, it was very important to write
Man Hunts because the person up the focal part of it,
the last person I throw off is ever gonna marry.
We're friends now. It took us years to be really
become actual friends, because years to step away from it
being sexual tension and friends, but like we could still
(10:17):
go there kind of thing, and now we are in
this really great solid place of friendship. Now when you
love someone and you respect them, which is how I
feel about him now, which I don't even think I
felt like that about him when we were together. How
about the man I don't think I had as much
of love and respect that I had for him now
that I did when I was with him. Now, could
(10:39):
you all get married right now? No? No, no, because
because we do think sometimes if you just love the person,
that's enough. No, but we gotta there's respect, there's respect.
I don't respect be more important because yeah, and you
know what, and we need to give respect and we
(11:00):
also need to receive respect. That's good. No. I was
talking to my my, my love Tamar. I did her podcast,
and it's like sometimes every now and again, I bought
somebody that's gonna, like, you know, tell me come in
like you know, kind of like grab my f It's like, yeah,
I don't desire that. I'm not interested at all and
(11:22):
any kind of dysfunction of that ILK. But I get
why a lot of women are still into that. That's
everybody's got their own bag. That's not my back. My
bag is this. I'm not thinging to sit up here
and fuss and fight with people. I'm grown. If we
cannot talk and have a conversation and figure it out,
(11:43):
I need to be out of that situation because I
don't have drama in my life because I respect the
people that I'm closest with. And when you don't have
drama in your life, there you have peace in your life.
You probably don't have as many physical ailments and stuff
because drama creates so many ailments, mental, physical, spiritual grains,
(12:05):
back aches. Listen you. I am so trying making sure
I respect your time and know that you are out
in these streets promoting your book. But I just gotta
have you back, even just for that statement alone in
your memory. As you stated, um a few minutes ago,
being an executive at magazines like Rolling Stone, you made
(12:29):
a leap of faith and you laughed, you left, which
left you, as you say, dead broke two things. What
is the key and did it contribute to your happiness? Oh? Yeah,
making the jump may be very happy. Um. In the
listful chapter, I talked about how happy I was when
(12:51):
I was really bad, sad broke, when I was in
housing courts and being recognized because I had done a
couple of things on one and b aren't you that
any from it? I'd be like, yes, maybe, like what
are you doing here? I'm like, what are you doing here?
And they would say I'm here in housing call because
I'm trying to figure out how to pay my friend
Me too, Sweetie, me too. And I didn't not have
(13:11):
shame about it, Michelle, And I gotta say, you know,
I'll never have those kind of issues again, financial issues again.
I really don't believe that God would ever put that
in my space ever again, because I think I needed
to go through that for whatever reason. But I just
so feeling my spirit that I will ever have financial
issues of that ilk ever again. I'm not on this wood,
(13:33):
come on, but some things are there to teach us, right,
so we don't have to go through that again. But
what I will say about that that situation is that
I knew that it was going to be good for
the book the entire time when that happened. When that
lady said that to me, I was like, well, that's
gonna be good for the book. And I also had
(13:53):
to and I talked about that one chapter where the
God from the barbershop called me over and was like
you all right, And I was like, I'm good at
why He's like, well, because you used to get in
and out of town cars and now I see you
taking this bus. I was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, no,
I'm changing my life it's really going well, all these
great things on TV, and I'm writing like, this is
(14:14):
not making any money anymore, but it's good. It's good.
And he was like looking at me like I was crazy.
Now of course they see me and they're like, I'm
proud of you. You did it, and I'm like, yeah,
you know, I would at a lover that. I remember
I did a vision board and he was like, this
is ridiculous. And at that point I no longer needed
validation from a man, so I was just looking at
(14:35):
him like, well, maybe it's you that's ridiculous, because no
one they asked you. Why don't you go and uh
give me a glass of champagne or something to make
it so useful, you know what I mean. But you know, um,
it was a really great moment in my life and
I would not trade it because because I went through that,
(14:55):
I created Dinner with Bebby. Because I did with Bebby,
I have great relationships with celebrities like yourself. If I
hadn't done Dinner with Bebby, I guess I would have
gone directly into TV hosting and things like that. But
you guys wouldn't have known me known me like now,
when people come on my radio show and when I'm
doing TV and they come on my TV shows, they
(15:17):
know me because I fed them. Because we're dying together.
And there's something intimate and special about when someone feed
you and you break bread. That's so good. And I
pray that when this is all over, we do it again.
But I believe it's not that you had this amazing job,
(15:38):
the whole Pie powered executive. We know it was paying well,
but I do believe you were able to leap into purpose,
into your purpose right. And so it's to encourage other
people out there. And I'm not saying you quit your
six figure jobs and whatever, whatever it is. I'm not
saying unless you just feel like really lead. But so
(16:00):
many people are going through a transition with it, whether
it's spiritual and related to your job. But just know
that you're gonna transition and or leap right into purpose. Yes,
it's so true, because I am meant to be a
mentor and a guide and a teacher. And that's why
this book, Revelations Lessons from a Mother Auntie Bestie is
(16:22):
a self help book. Then it's a member to help
people get their lives on track and to dare to
dream like when I talk about wanting to become or no,
not wanting to become. When I talk about that, I
am going to become an egot. No bold that is
you know what I mean? Like, you've done Broadway, you
(16:46):
have Grammys, you could easily do a movie. So so
so I'm explained to you this way for you to
become an egoy is a much quicker path and a
much more reasonable path than for me to become a
league got because you could easily do a TV show,
a daytime talk show. You were amazing when used to
(17:06):
subing for the real right sub the real um the
talk Yes, yes, yeah, so you're really great rank you
so you could easily land a job like that, and
then that would get you an empty You already have
a Grammys. Man, you're an actor and actress, so yeah,
all you have to do is like get in a
(17:28):
good movie and get a gritty role and then you
go you get your Oscar and then you've done Broadway.
So okay, you already know you get a Tony because
all you need is opportunities. That's a nugget job, that's
a jewel. Yes, I think that's the difference between success
and maybe someone's current situation where they feel like they're
(17:49):
at zero is just opportunity. It's just opportunity. And then
sometimes we have to make our online Come on, somebody,
that's so good. So for me, I'm sad I'm starting
that zero from egot borrow. I mean, yes, I do
daytime TV, so I can get em, so that probably
I could do. But my egot plan is em me
for daytime TV. Grammy for the audio book Oscar Or
(18:13):
a superb fifteen minute performance. Remember Ruby D was nominated
for Best Supporting Actress and American Gangster, and it was
all about that scene where she told Denzel Washington or
and that was literally maybe eight minutes of a scene,
but she looked there was enough to get a nominated
for a Best Supporting Actress. Come on, you ain't gotta
(18:34):
do too much, too much like you just gotta be
good in that moment that you're doing it. That's why
when people talk about, oh, I'm doing this little something,
I'm doing this little that's because you ain't got no vision.
Because just because something is not the starring space or
not the biggest opportunity does not mean it cannot garner
you your dreams coming true. It can facilitate your dreams
(18:58):
coming true. It's not the size that matters, it's the
quality that matchs. Okay, somebody says, she then drops a
few bevelations. You better get into it and write them down.
So it's simple as what you say out of your
mouth and believe that what you say out of your
(19:18):
mouth can and will happen. I don't know if you
still do vision boards or not, but it's literally just
saying that thing every single day. People are tired of
or of being consistent, but consistency brings results, So it's
also being consistent. And when you walk by, I don't
know if you might have uh, Emmy Grammy and an
(19:39):
oscar and a Tony. It could be replica sitting around
your house, but we do know you're gonna have the
real thing and where two or three can agree. So
I'm with you on that, baby, and I know that
it's going to happen, and I'm gonna be sitting there clapping,
rooting like Taggi and at me where they see her
(20:00):
clamping and root another black woman on. Yeah, but I'll
tell you this too. But wherever God takes me on
this journey it's gonna be exactly where I need to be.
Where I'm supposes me. So we don't even worry about
the outcome. How about them? We do our good work,
(20:21):
and Chell, listen, we do our good work, and then
we leave it alone. Come on, do our good work.
And we dropped the mic and we walk away, and
we let God take care of the rest. And don't
be like me, inspect the gadget trying to help God.
He don't need your help. Leave it alone, Let go
and let God go. Let God. In your book Bevelations
(20:43):
Lessons from a Mother, Untie and Bestie, was there chapter
that you almost probably like, yeah, that probably shouldn't go
in there there's a crazy section where I became Malibu Bevy.
I created that. That's a crazy story. I will tell
a trunk had the version of it. I basically went
um to New Year's Eve. That's meant alone. I was
(21:05):
going to hawaite. I live in New York City, so
for me to go right, I like, good. It's a
long flight, and I was so I used to do
a layover in Los Angeles because that's five hours, and
then happen to Hawaii. Right at the time. I had
a tender lover come on. So I was like, I'm
gonna do a very long layover so I could get laid. Okay, now,
(21:30):
so my tender lover came to pick me up from
the airport. We when and got some Mexican food. We
went and made the love and we got me back
to the airport. But when I was when I was
sitting in my first class seat, I was a little
income and I couldn't figure out what it was and
it was a thriving in my my posterior. Now we
(21:50):
hadn't done anything back there, so I was like, I
don't know what. I don't know what's going on. And
um so I get to Hawaii five hour flight and
I'm in real pain. Not called up by my girl friend.
She's like, oh, it's probably a him bright to sorry Tima,
but it's in the book t M. I. I go
through all the places I have the best time in
him life, but my my, but it's searing pain. But
(22:16):
I mean, I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm in a
lot of trouble. But right, but every night I'm talking
to the god from l A and we're talking and everything.
But then in the middle of it, too I'm also
going on the beach, and I say in the book
the waves were crashing and the pain was crashing too.
(22:36):
You know what I mean that I was able to
actually dream and create this alter ego callte Malibu Betty,
and Malibu Beby has natural hair, lives on the place
with you know where, she overlooks the water. Um. She
has an amazing lover partner who washes her hair, embrace
(22:58):
her um and watches her and greases a scalp on Sundays.
And then we eat a very early dinner and then
we make the love on the deck, and then we
go to bed by nine o'clock and we get up
in the morning like six am. We greet the sun.
We do somebody's yoga on our on our privy reach.
It's beautiful. I dreamed all of that while I was
(23:20):
suffering in pain and Promolulu. Now go go imagine that.
So when I when I'm making the coming back, I
lay over again and I'm still in pain. But at
this point I was still trying to satisfy minute in
course to the show. So I do not tell this
man I'm in pain, and instead I go and we
make the love again. Even though I'm in pain. But now,
(23:42):
thankfully he was a man who liked very traditional, lovely
doing the count of tricks me. So it's fine, but
I'm in pain. And when I get back home, I
go to the doctor and they're like, man, you have
an anal fissure, which is a tear. It was a
horrible thing. But out of that pain came a dream
(24:03):
of Malibu Bevy, which I'm getting closer to every single
day because right now I have a lot of space
in my my apartment. You know, this is on to
come by New York City at outdoor space. I have
not you here on the weekend. You know, proper weird
Off is gonna be my love when you post um.
It's sometimes when you're just yet your current girls, and
(24:28):
so it's like a wonderful thing. But like I thought
about that, I was like, is this doing too much?
And I said to myself, no, I need to go
there because I think that a lot of women will
be able to connect with the idea of being in
pain but it's physical or mental, but still trying to
please a man, still trying to please and perform and perform.
(24:50):
What about that? What about the performance? Michelle and and
that's that's that's pretty much the scope of the industry.
You perform in pain, you mile in pain, or what
you think about the athlete? You know, they even they
have to perform and play, you know, while they're in pain.
I always wondered about y'all whenever I but watch y'all performed,
(25:11):
I'll be like, now, what do they do when they
have really bad crimps? What do they do with I
would always because you know, like I look at y'all
not you know, y'all just show up and do all
the dances and it's not like y'all can take off
them days because y'all now, I want to say, there
was only one time as a group, Destiny's Child where
(25:34):
um Be still performer. She was really really sick and
Kelly and I had to swap her verses. But you
still keep going because people didn't pay their money to
come see You cannot cancel at the last minute, and
that goes on today. I mean, how many shows, baby?
Can you be like, I'm a cancel today? I gotta migrating. Yeah,
(25:57):
not in this business. You cannot and you feel like
you can't. I think we can. I think we can.
I think that that's where the freedom comes in that
and the and and and having agency over your own life.
And that's what I believe want to put forth in
the book as well, is that women have got to
take agency over their own lives. I've got to stop
(26:20):
looking at other people and let them dick take to
us who we are and what we can do. Like
you know, Michelle, um, I always say this about you.
One of the things I love most about you is
that you have such a backbone. You know, people are
I think, now no, because you you've clapped back on
enough folks, I know, But but you do it so
(26:44):
beautifully angel, and it's still it's still tender, but you
get with them. And but that's a good thing because
people can just can't sit up and tel it greasy
to you any all kind of way that they they
want to, Because what does that do to you, that
that that's so told on your spirit where you're constantly
always having to eat you know, as a and act
(27:07):
like you enjoy it. M hm. So it's good for
women to be able to speak up for themselves, to
have agency over their lives and to correctly over their careers.
You know, you have to be able to do the
music that you want to do. You have to be
able to take the roles that you want to take.
And sometimes when we have handlers around us, when we
have family around us, people will tell us all the
(27:30):
things that we should be doing and what you're good at. Well, no,
we have to make that determination. But only we truly
know what makes us happen. Listen, I was just like,
I want to call you coach Bevy. I will tell
you now, you know, my goal is to have a
fairy godmother's show where it's like Shark Tank meets I
(27:52):
Young to fix in my life. And it's only gonna
be for career accounts. They're here for. It's not nothing
about your personal life. I don't want to know. But
I don't want to drive nobody like you know that
good book that y'all to do and burying stuff and
then get kick it up. I don't want to. I
would like to use all my relationships and my contacts
(28:12):
and also my experience and helping people really kind of
find a way to tap into their dreams and follow
their passion. Well, I think you should, and this book
is definitely a start. I have always admired your boldness,
your transparency, um, your ability to tell it like it is,
and it is you and it is all you, and
(28:33):
I thank you so much for giving us your time.
I have maybe two more questions. But you have your
own show and you've had it on serious for years now.
On page one eight six, you have a wild and
fun story that you talk about with Grace Jones. Come
on now, y'all gotta get this book now because we
(28:55):
ain't go. We can't tell you everything in this book.
Got to tell you everything, But let me just tell
you this Grace Jones. Interviewing Grace Jones was amazing on
so many different lovers. She told me that lady Goga
did not have a soul, as in not that she
didn't have soul, that she thought she was devoid of
a soul. Okay, you know Grace as a preachers. Ye
(29:16):
she is brother, her brother Noel Jones. Yeah, exactly. The
Grace Jones was like, she did not have a soul.
I did not feel anything coming from her. When I
met her. I was like, okay, great shows, Betty Bugg.
Then she told me she was piste off the Kim
Kardashian Um actually stold her picture, you know the picture
(29:39):
of paper magazine with the up Champaigne on it. But
Grace Jones did that first. And and honestly, the photographer
Jean Paul Good was Grace Jones's lover and the son
of her the father of her son, but he also
shot the Kim Kardashian thing, but she was still piste
off that it was like a knock for so Grace
(30:02):
was a key keeper. So in the book, there's a
picture of Grace grabbing my butt, and it's because when
I met with Grace, she knew she saw in my
breast and she was like, oh, they're beautiful, blah blah
blah blah blah blah. But when I stood up and
she's like, oh my god, you have a butt too,
and then she was in fact with But so it's
(30:23):
the only time I was ever sexually arousal lost. Y'all
have to get this amazing book which I hold in
my hand, and I've been able to get through the
majority of it, and I was excited because it was
in a box. Um. I think BT Awards and the
physical coffee has made its way to my lap. And
(30:47):
I'm excited because there are people that in my life
where I'm like it's cool to get books you know
in the mail that you know I didn't have to purchase,
but to know I'm excited to go and purchase this
book or some ladies in my life to let you
know that I love you and I support you, and
I'm gonna make sure that I get it signed by
(31:08):
you one day for sure. Um. And we've been just
all you know. Earlier, you know, we talked about how
we cannot wait to see each other again, hold each
other again, hug and really talk with each other. How
have you been holding up coping? Yeah, what with y'all?
You know what, as soon as we found out that
there was gonna be a real pandemic, I got back
(31:29):
in the therapy. So that's been really a life saving
for me. Um. But you know, I I was saying
this to someone else. I do not believe that any
of us know how we're dealing with this, because it's
gonna take years for us to really figure out what
this whole pandemic did to us. But please believe it.
(31:51):
We are walking around in the altered state because we
have been locked away in our homes for a year
at this point. And who would have ever thought that
this would happen to us, and that there's nowhere to go.
It's everywhere grow. That's a part that killed me because
(32:12):
you know, I got a couple of coins, so I
was like, this ain't even a coin issue. It's ineffected
everybody in every socio economic class. Everybody was sitting at home, man,
like I can't go nowhere, I can't go anywhere. Like
it's like there's no escaping again. You know, God is
always in control and everything is as it should be,
(32:34):
but it does feel and it is one of those
times where it still feels like eerie that for as
much as we feel like we're doing the damn thing,
we literally had no control overens and there was no
one that can help you. I remember I got coromnavirus
March thirteen, like that's when I saw really feeling sick,
and um Andy Cohen had gutten that like maybe a
(32:55):
week prior or something. So I called Andy and I
was like, um, you know, how did you get the test?
He was like, I really haven't gotten a test. I
was like, and you need to use your influence to
get a damn test. And he was like, what do
you mean. I'm like, Andy, you're Andy Cohen, call up
somebody and get a test, sir. I was like, get
tests and celebrities, go get a test. And then he
went and got his test and everything. But you know,
(33:17):
I had the poll strings to get my test um.
And then of course they couldn't do anything for you.
And that was earlier on. They weren't testing, especially unless
you just had serious symptoms or if you were elderly,
and it was literally if you were like you came
into the emergency room and you literally cannot breathe, that's
the only way you could get a test. And so
I had to pull some strings to get a test.
(33:39):
And then my dad passed away, and I was gonna
ask I didn't know if you were comfortable to share
about those that are going through grief and lost during
this moment. Yes, yes, um and lost. And you know
that was very, very painful. And my dad was was
elderly and he was not he was not doing as well.
(34:00):
And he my daddy so always say I'm going down slow.
So when he passed, the thing that bothered me about
him passing was not so much that he passed away,
that he passed away in the pandemic. So he wasn't
able to have the funeral that he deserved. He's a
World War two Vetterlan, he should have a military funeral.
My mom should have been death out and all of
(34:22):
her finest clothes, because my mother loves had the way
it has Matt Suit. My father should have had singing
at his funeral. He should have had someone. He should
have had his children talking about him at his funeral.
We couldn't speak at his funeral because it was so
early on during the pandemic Michelle that you didn't know
how easily it was transmitted or not to their own
(34:45):
people there. And then we were all masked up and
everyone told via zoom, so it was like, you know,
his niece did the eulogy. Ms. Laurence sang amazing grace,
but it was all one zool, cold and sterile homegoing.
It was a funeral was not homegoing, and that's not right.
And you know Mrs Lee Tyson and Mary Wilson, two
(35:09):
women that were always out and about, vibrant. Ms Mary
Wilson towards are always working, always working. The last year
of her life she was robbed of that of her
joy of working. Mrs Lee Tyson, I always see alec
galas and events and things like that since tyson last
year of her life ahead, and that's what pisses me
(35:33):
off about them, and how it could have been handled
better and earlier to where there wouldn't be so much loss.
So you know, UM, my heart goes out to you,
My heart goes out to your mother and um your
family members in the loss of your father, Gus gust
(35:55):
Lee Smith. We honor you, gust Lee Smith, and we
thank you so much for the joy that you helped
bring into this world which is known as Betty Smith. Y'all,
let me tell you something. It has been a joy
and an honor to have you on checking in and
(36:16):
let's continue to check in with each other. Okay, I
love you. I want to check them with you all
the time, ma'am, miss your little smiling face. But I
have your music to keep me pumped up and invigorated.
So and I'm excited for your book, Bevelations Lessons from
a Mother Auntie Bestie Betty Smith. Y'all, please support, please
(36:37):
support her book and tell them the audio book is
narrated by me, so you get all the voice and
all of them and the vigor and everything. When can
we get the audio book right now. All it is done, okay,
because sometimes they don't come, you know, at the same time,
a book is here, all of it. And also one
last note to your beautiful listeners, no matter how old
(37:00):
you are, no matter what circumstances you're in, please remember
it gets great later. I was thirty eight when I
put my job. I was forty five and I got
my first TV show. I was fifty when I got
my second TV show, and I'm fifty four and this
book has just come out. It gets greater later, y'all,
So please do not give up on your dreams, follow
(37:20):
your passion. That is so good, y'all. Please give it
up for Betty Smith. Y'all. Thank you for checking in.
We'll see you again next time you guys. This interview
(37:46):
was so much fun. I love chopping it up with
Betty because you know the title of her book once
again is Bevelations Lessons from My Mother, Auntie or Bestie,
and she just reminds me of someone that I had
in my life where I could talk to them about men, sex,
what's going on at home, what's going on with family,
(38:06):
and they just say, girl, just pour you a nice
little Voka Tonic. You know, although I'm not promoting alcoholism, um,
but she just reminds me of someone who can just
tell it like it is, and you know it's from
the heart and that she means you well, and so well,
let's take it backwards, you know when she said it
gets greater later. So how many of us are you
(38:27):
know your twenty five or your fifteen or your thirty five,
and you're like, life just isn't going well for me.
But a lot of times things kind of don't get
you in until you're about forty. So I'm not gonna
tell you just because you're fifteen stopped doing good, because listen,
you can have success at nineteen or twenty. But I think,
to me, that true thing, I think, where you really
(38:50):
kind of get into your stride with your purpose might
come a little later. So I'm just so happy that
she was transparent and share it with us. But I'm
also glad she didn't stop, because if she stopped, we
wouldn't have Bevy, we wouldn't have Bevelations, and she wouldn't
have been here on my show today. So I'm so
glad that she's stuck with it and that she was
(39:12):
able to encourage us to just take that leap of faith.
You take that leap of faith, you leap right into
your purpose. So don't be afraid to really go after
what you're passionate about. I know, in my family, we
were supposed to go to school. I'm supposed to have
a college degree, because doing music and entertainment professionally was
(39:32):
kind of frowned upon. But out of the fear of sex, drugs,
and rock and roll, or out of the fear of
you're gonna go broke and be like every other entertainer
that we've seen on certain television shows. But I really
believe that I keep evolving. I believe I'm more so
into my purpose. But I keep evolving. But I took
(39:53):
that leap, and I kind of went against an opposite
of what was expected of me and kind of what
was in ucted of me to do. Once again, I'm
not telling some of y'all to disobey your parents. Okay,
because you're still living at home, you gotta abide by
the rules. But I was in college by this point.
So but what's she gonna do? And she can't catch
(40:14):
me at mean, I run faster than her, But listen,
I keep going on about, you know, Bebby's realness, y'all,
get into Malabu Bevy and get into the chapter of
her book read Soul Proposition and how you determine your worth,
not anybody else. You determine your worth and you can
(40:34):
put people in their place when they say something that
kind of devalues you. So that's been my takeaway with
my interview today with Betty y'all. I hope y'all enjoy it.
It's definitely one of my favorites. Thanks again for checking
in with Michelle Williams. Ye Checking In with Michelle Williams
(41:12):
is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect.
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