April 12, 2023 • 12 mins
Hola, Hola! It’s Wednesday, and that means we’re back with another episode of Dear Chiquis. Thanks to Misty, Autumn, Stell Bell and Pamela for their questions. This week, I’m answering questions on whether I’m in an open relationship, how to speak to your partner about finances when you’re sharing a bank account, microdosing psychedelics and more!
A reminder to all my listeners: These are my thoughts and opinions and I encourage you to seek help from a qualified professional if you’re suffering an issue or hardship that requires immediate attention.
Submit your questions at speakpipe.com/chiquisandchillpodcast! And don’t forget to listen to “Chiquis and Chill” every Monday. They’re longer podcast episodes filled with personal stories and interviews with special guests.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheekies, and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheekies, I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
(00:40):
from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave
your question at the sound of the beach. I just
listened to your idea of my journey episode, and I
want to thank you for putting that information out there,
especially about feeling broken. I have two kids, but when
I had to see I felt very broken, like my
(01:02):
body was not doing the one thing it was meant
to do. But onto my question, I want to ask,
since you raise your brothers and sisters, how did you
feel like you didn't realize yourself. I am a bit
older than you, and I don't feel like I have
an identity outside being a mother, and I'm really struggling
(01:23):
with that. Right now. I would love to hear your thoughts.
Thank you, love you. I love you too, Misty, thank
you so much. Look, I think that once they grew
up is kind of when I realized. I think it
was when Johnny turned eighteen that I said, you know what,
I have to understand that they're my siblings, and even
(01:47):
with your children, they are borrowed, you know what I mean,
Like it's something that God says here for a little bit,
but they're meant to live their own life and their
own journey. And for a long time I think that
I was lost in wanting to help them and prevent
them from making mistakes and falling and that's just part
of life. And when they turn eighteen, especially Jenica, it
(02:08):
was like a big Espinishy turn eighteen, She's like, I'm leaving.
I want to be independent. I didn't understand it. I
was like, what the heck. It was a huge blow
to my heart. But now I step back and I realize,
you know what, it makes me proud to see them
spread their wings and grow and know that I had
some part in that. I don't know how old your
kids are, Misty, but it's very important that you find
(02:30):
time for yourself as young as they are, and also
know that they're going to turn eighteen and they're going
to do their thing whether you like it or not.
They have to live their life. But you also need
to find time now for yourself. And what does that
look like. I mean, it could just be simply a bath,
a bath by yourself with no kids around. Find those
moments of silence for misty so that you don't get
(02:54):
so lost in it. But it's a blessing. It's a
blessing that you're a mother and God gave you these
children because he knew you could raise them and be
an amazing mother to them. So I think it's just
a matter of time. It took me a while, and
as soon as Johnny turned eighteen, I was like, you
know what, Okay, I've already went through this pain. I
have to understand, like I have to start letting him
kind of walk and let go of his hand a
(03:15):
little bit, and that's not always easy. But ever since then,
I feel I feel lighter. I don't know, but it's
when they turn eighteen. But then again, I never stopped
worrying about any of them, to be honest, even my
like Mikey he's thirty something and Jackie's thirty three. I
always worry, you know, It's just something that is just
a part of us, you know. So anyways, I hope
(03:36):
I answered your question, Misty, and I hope I was
able to help you. But girl, it's an everyday thing.
But you have to be adamant and intentional in finding
time for yourself. I hope I helped. Okay, Misty, send
you a big hug. Okay, Okay, Now let's hear from Autumn. Hey,
Cheggy's a freaking love you, but Chick's I have a
(03:57):
question here. So on your podcast, you speak Kylie of
your relationship and you're in a healthy relationship now, and
I love that for you, girl. But with that being said,
you recently just know the products a podcast. Girl, you
would think you didn't have a man. Are you on
an open relationship or or would you be okay with
your man flirting and making out with another female because
(04:21):
listening to your podcast, you don't come off as that
type that will be okay with your man doing that.
I don't know, Tickies. I love you, girl, but that
just threw me off. By Autumn, I love you, I
love that direct ask question more of those, please. I
love it. Here's the thing. I'm very open with Emilio.
I've been open with him since day one. We don't
(04:44):
have an open relationship, absolutely not. He knows that I
had a girlfriend in my early twenties. He knows that
I love the anatomy of a woman. I'm not necessarily
I don't want to put any labels like I'm lesbian
or bisexual or anything like that. But I've kissed girls,
and I'm a huge supporter of the LBGDQ plus community,
(05:05):
and I have a brother that's you know, bisexual. So anyways,
with that being said, if Immedia was flirting with a guy,
I'd be like, okay, cool, another girl. No, you know
what I mean, Like, I'm not gonna sit there and
go to some guy's podcasts and flirt with him like
that I know is off limits. It's just with Snow
like that's my homie. I think she's hot. I love her,
(05:26):
I love her music. I've been a fan of her
music for about two years now, and Immedia knows. I mean,
it was like, Okay, as long as it's not a guy,
I'm totally fine with it. He thinks it's kind of
sexy So he actually went with me to a podcast
with this girl named Leslie. She's a DJ here in LA,
and we kissed and he was totally fine with it.
He's like, damn, I think that's hot. So, to answer
your question, Autumn, he thinks it's cute, he thinks it's sexy.
(05:48):
As long as it's not a dude, I think we're good.
I don't don't think I mean, know whatever. Fair with
the guy though, but if you were to flair with
a girl, oh no, girl, Yeah, you're absolutely right. I
am not going to put up with that. And maybe
it could be a little bit like double standard, but
I'm just very boom. This is what it is. I'm
a grown ass woman. I kind of like girls once
in a while, drink some tequila. And if there's a
cute girl and we happened a kiss, he's okay with it.
(06:08):
It's cute, you know, but I wouldn't like go any further,
especially with the dupe for me. So, um, thanks, I
really liked your question. Thank you for being so straight
at bottom. Okay, looks like we have a question from Stellbell.
Oh stell Beell like that, hant chikys. I had a
question for you. Also, so me and my fiancee have
(06:33):
different mindsets when it comes to money. For example, I
like to save, I like to pay my bills on time.
And for him, he's a spender. He likes spend money
whenever he has a chance. He waits until the grace
period is about to end. And it's kind of hard
since we are sharing the same bank, so all his money,
(06:57):
all his income goes into my bank and the asuka,
you know, whatever he wants to spend and everything, and
I'm not working right now, so it's really hard for
me to know say hey, like you need to watch
what you're spending and not trying to like get on
his ass, but also you know, trying to help us
out as a young couple. And every time I do
(07:20):
try to bring it up, it turns into an argument,
and I just want your advice. What do you think
I should do? Thank you, girl, I hope I can
hear from you. Hello Stelle Belle. I like your name,
by the way. Okay, Look, finances are always just a
touchy subject when it comes to relationships. And if you
(07:41):
guys are sharing an account, that this means you guys
are a very serious couple. You guys are in a
very serious relationship, so that's a good sign. The fact
that you're not working right now doesn't mean that you
can't say something because you're taking care of the household.
I'm assuming and cooking and cleaning, and that in itself, girl,
is a job. Let me tell you. So, you have
all the right to say, hey, our bills come first.
(08:04):
It's all in how you express it. If you're coming
at him throwing a curveball and you're being rude or
that's completely different. But if you come out of a
place of love and you just say, hey, I'm worried.
I'm not going to tell you not to buy yourself
whatever it is that you'd like. I just want you
to be mindful of making sure that our bills are
taking care of first. I mean, maybe what you can
(08:25):
do is figure out how much the bills are and
set that money to the side from the very beginning,
as soon as his check comes in. Okay, it's like,
I'm putting X amount of money to the side because
this is for our bills and I just want to
make sure that's taken care of whatever there's left. Then
he needs to know. I mean, we have to say
for a rainy day. You have to be mindful for
our future, because girl, we're in a recession, you know,
(08:47):
and you have all the right to be worried. And
he should understand that because you're coming out of a
place of love. It's not like you are trying to
take his balls away, you know what I mean. It's like, Hey,
I love you, I want the best for us, for
our hold. And again, it's all in how you say
it and you deliver your message, mamma. So I really
do suggest that you have a deep conversation and again,
(09:07):
if you can't say it, text it, write it in
a letter something where he can have some time to
just sit and think about it. And I always say,
I'm not trying to upset you. I don't want to
start an argument. I'm just concerned and hopefully he receives it. Well, Okay,
thank you for your question, and I hope it gets better. Okay. So, last,
(09:28):
but not least, is a question from Pamela. Hi, cheekies.
My question to you is I am really interested in
micro docing because I have heard that it has helped
people with their confidence within and just I suffer with
a lot of old anxiety and a little bit of
(09:50):
depression from some childhood trauma, especially having childhood sexual trauma.
I feel like it's affected my confidence as a an adult,
and I sometimes feel myself having a lot of out
of body experiences. So what is your advice on bettering
(10:11):
my confidence and how is your experiences with microdocing? Because
I really want to get into it. Oh my goodness,
so many people have been asking me about microdocing. I've
mentioned it a few times on the pod, so Pamela, Absolutely,
it is something that I am very excited about. I
truly believe in it. I do suggest for you to
watch some videos on YouTube, do your research, and I
(10:34):
want to do a full episode on this. I'm not
an expert by any means. I just know that I
love how I feel since I've been taking and since
I've been doing psychedelics microdocing. So I'm gonna get an
expert for us. I'm gonna find someone that we can
really dive deep into this. But all I can tell
you is do your research, look at some stuff. They
even have some stuff in documentaries on Netflix that I've watched,
(10:56):
and it's called how to Change Your Mind. And then
there's another one that is called have a Good Trip.
I haven't watched that one yet, but I know it
has to do with psychedelics. So those are the two
that I would tell you. Pamelatical ahead and watch if
anyone is interested. Do your research, you guys, go on YouTube.
But it does wonders for yes, your confidence, for your depression,
(11:17):
for anxiety, and media. My boyfriend had a lot of anxiety,
and since we've been doing it, we do it together.
We pray together every like three days. We take two
pills and you don't feel crazy. You don't feel like
you are hallucinating. It's nothing like that. If you take
a lot, then that's a different story. But literally, we're
micro dosing. So we do it together and it's helped
our relationship. It's helped his anxiety so much. Even the depression,
(11:39):
you guys, and me too, I don't feel as sad.
I just I feel different. I don't even know how
to explain it. And I call it like it's a
flesh of God. It comes from the earth, so it's
something supernatural. So anyways, Pamela, that's what I recommend. I
will do a full episode on this as soon as
I find the right person to really dive deep because
I know it helps on a cell your level. But
(12:00):
that's all I know. Okay, So Misty, Autumn, Stellbell, and Pamela,
thank you, thank you, thank you for submitting your questions,
and thank you for listening to both my podcast Dear
Cheeks and Cheeks and Chill. If you guys find yourself
wrestling with an issue, I'd love to help. Please leave
your questions at speakpipe dot com Slash Cheeks and Chill podcast.
I'll see you next week. This is a production of
(12:29):
iHeartRadio and the Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow us on
Instagram at Michael Dura podcast and follow me Cheeks That's
cchi Quis. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast,
and check us out on YouTube.
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheekies, and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheekies, I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
(00:40):
from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave
your question at the sound of the beach. I just
listened to your idea of my journey episode, and I
want to thank you for putting that information out there,
especially about feeling broken. I have two kids, but when
I had to see I felt very broken, like my
(01:02):
body was not doing the one thing it was meant
to do. But onto my question, I want to ask,
since you raise your brothers and sisters, how did you
feel like you didn't realize yourself. I am a bit
older than you, and I don't feel like I have
an identity outside being a mother, and I'm really struggling
(01:23):
with that. Right now. I would love to hear your thoughts.
Thank you, love you. I love you too, Misty, thank
you so much. Look, I think that once they grew
up is kind of when I realized. I think it
was when Johnny turned eighteen that I said, you know what,
I have to understand that they're my siblings, and even
(01:47):
with your children, they are borrowed, you know what I mean,
Like it's something that God says here for a little bit,
but they're meant to live their own life and their
own journey. And for a long time I think that
I was lost in wanting to help them and prevent
them from making mistakes and falling and that's just part
of life. And when they turn eighteen, especially Jenica, it
(02:08):
was like a big Espinishy turn eighteen, She's like, I'm leaving.
I want to be independent. I didn't understand it. I
was like, what the heck. It was a huge blow
to my heart. But now I step back and I realize,
you know what, it makes me proud to see them
spread their wings and grow and know that I had
some part in that. I don't know how old your
kids are, Misty, but it's very important that you find
(02:30):
time for yourself as young as they are, and also
know that they're going to turn eighteen and they're going
to do their thing whether you like it or not.
They have to live their life. But you also need
to find time now for yourself. And what does that
look like. I mean, it could just be simply a bath,
a bath by yourself with no kids around. Find those
moments of silence for misty so that you don't get
(02:54):
so lost in it. But it's a blessing. It's a
blessing that you're a mother and God gave you these
children because he knew you could raise them and be
an amazing mother to them. So I think it's just
a matter of time. It took me a while, and
as soon as Johnny turned eighteen, I was like, you
know what, Okay, I've already went through this pain. I
have to understand, like I have to start letting him
kind of walk and let go of his hand a
(03:15):
little bit, and that's not always easy. But ever since then,
I feel I feel lighter. I don't know, but it's
when they turn eighteen. But then again, I never stopped
worrying about any of them, to be honest, even my
like Mikey he's thirty something and Jackie's thirty three. I
always worry, you know, It's just something that is just
a part of us, you know. So anyways, I hope
(03:36):
I answered your question, Misty, and I hope I was
able to help you. But girl, it's an everyday thing.
But you have to be adamant and intentional in finding
time for yourself. I hope I helped. Okay, Misty, send
you a big hug. Okay, Okay, Now let's hear from Autumn. Hey,
Cheggy's a freaking love you, but Chick's I have a
(03:57):
question here. So on your podcast, you speak Kylie of
your relationship and you're in a healthy relationship now, and
I love that for you, girl. But with that being said,
you recently just know the products a podcast. Girl, you
would think you didn't have a man. Are you on
an open relationship or or would you be okay with
your man flirting and making out with another female because
(04:21):
listening to your podcast, you don't come off as that
type that will be okay with your man doing that.
I don't know, Tickies. I love you, girl, but that
just threw me off. By Autumn, I love you, I
love that direct ask question more of those, please. I
love it. Here's the thing. I'm very open with Emilio.
I've been open with him since day one. We don't
(04:44):
have an open relationship, absolutely not. He knows that I
had a girlfriend in my early twenties. He knows that
I love the anatomy of a woman. I'm not necessarily
I don't want to put any labels like I'm lesbian
or bisexual or anything like that. But I've kissed girls,
and I'm a huge supporter of the LBGDQ plus community,
(05:05):
and I have a brother that's you know, bisexual. So anyways,
with that being said, if Immedia was flirting with a guy,
I'd be like, okay, cool, another girl. No, you know
what I mean, Like, I'm not gonna sit there and
go to some guy's podcasts and flirt with him like
that I know is off limits. It's just with Snow
like that's my homie. I think she's hot. I love her,
(05:26):
I love her music. I've been a fan of her
music for about two years now, and Immedia knows. I mean,
it was like, Okay, as long as it's not a guy,
I'm totally fine with it. He thinks it's kind of
sexy So he actually went with me to a podcast
with this girl named Leslie. She's a DJ here in LA,
and we kissed and he was totally fine with it.
He's like, damn, I think that's hot. So, to answer
your question, Autumn, he thinks it's cute, he thinks it's sexy.
(05:48):
As long as it's not a dude, I think we're good.
I don't don't think I mean, know whatever. Fair with
the guy though, but if you were to flair with
a girl, oh no, girl, Yeah, you're absolutely right. I
am not going to put up with that. And maybe
it could be a little bit like double standard, but
I'm just very boom. This is what it is. I'm
a grown ass woman. I kind of like girls once
in a while, drink some tequila. And if there's a
cute girl and we happened a kiss, he's okay with it.
(06:08):
It's cute, you know, but I wouldn't like go any further,
especially with the dupe for me. So, um, thanks, I
really liked your question. Thank you for being so straight
at bottom. Okay, looks like we have a question from Stellbell.
Oh stell Beell like that, hant chikys. I had a
question for you. Also, so me and my fiancee have
(06:33):
different mindsets when it comes to money. For example, I
like to save, I like to pay my bills on time.
And for him, he's a spender. He likes spend money
whenever he has a chance. He waits until the grace
period is about to end. And it's kind of hard
since we are sharing the same bank, so all his money,
(06:57):
all his income goes into my bank and the asuka,
you know, whatever he wants to spend and everything, and
I'm not working right now, so it's really hard for
me to know say hey, like you need to watch
what you're spending and not trying to like get on
his ass, but also you know, trying to help us
out as a young couple. And every time I do
(07:20):
try to bring it up, it turns into an argument,
and I just want your advice. What do you think
I should do? Thank you, girl, I hope I can
hear from you. Hello Stelle Belle. I like your name,
by the way. Okay, Look, finances are always just a
touchy subject when it comes to relationships. And if you
(07:41):
guys are sharing an account, that this means you guys
are a very serious couple. You guys are in a
very serious relationship, so that's a good sign. The fact
that you're not working right now doesn't mean that you
can't say something because you're taking care of the household.
I'm assuming and cooking and cleaning, and that in itself, girl,
is a job. Let me tell you. So, you have
all the right to say, hey, our bills come first.
(08:04):
It's all in how you express it. If you're coming
at him throwing a curveball and you're being rude or
that's completely different. But if you come out of a
place of love and you just say, hey, I'm worried.
I'm not going to tell you not to buy yourself
whatever it is that you'd like. I just want you
to be mindful of making sure that our bills are
taking care of first. I mean, maybe what you can
(08:25):
do is figure out how much the bills are and
set that money to the side from the very beginning,
as soon as his check comes in. Okay, it's like,
I'm putting X amount of money to the side because
this is for our bills and I just want to
make sure that's taken care of whatever there's left. Then
he needs to know. I mean, we have to say
for a rainy day. You have to be mindful for
our future, because girl, we're in a recession, you know,
(08:47):
and you have all the right to be worried. And
he should understand that because you're coming out of a
place of love. It's not like you are trying to
take his balls away, you know what I mean. It's like, Hey,
I love you, I want the best for us, for
our hold. And again, it's all in how you say
it and you deliver your message, mamma. So I really
do suggest that you have a deep conversation and again,
(09:07):
if you can't say it, text it, write it in
a letter something where he can have some time to
just sit and think about it. And I always say,
I'm not trying to upset you. I don't want to
start an argument. I'm just concerned and hopefully he receives it. Well, Okay,
thank you for your question, and I hope it gets better. Okay. So, last,
(09:28):
but not least, is a question from Pamela. Hi, cheekies.
My question to you is I am really interested in
micro docing because I have heard that it has helped
people with their confidence within and just I suffer with
a lot of old anxiety and a little bit of
(09:50):
depression from some childhood trauma, especially having childhood sexual trauma.
I feel like it's affected my confidence as a an adult,
and I sometimes feel myself having a lot of out
of body experiences. So what is your advice on bettering
(10:11):
my confidence and how is your experiences with microdocing? Because
I really want to get into it. Oh my goodness,
so many people have been asking me about microdocing. I've
mentioned it a few times on the pod, so Pamela, Absolutely,
it is something that I am very excited about. I
truly believe in it. I do suggest for you to
watch some videos on YouTube, do your research, and I
(10:34):
want to do a full episode on this. I'm not
an expert by any means. I just know that I
love how I feel since I've been taking and since
I've been doing psychedelics microdocing. So I'm gonna get an
expert for us. I'm gonna find someone that we can
really dive deep into this. But all I can tell
you is do your research, look at some stuff. They
even have some stuff in documentaries on Netflix that I've watched,
(10:56):
and it's called how to Change Your Mind. And then
there's another one that is called have a Good Trip.
I haven't watched that one yet, but I know it
has to do with psychedelics. So those are the two
that I would tell you. Pamelatical ahead and watch if
anyone is interested. Do your research, you guys, go on YouTube.
But it does wonders for yes, your confidence, for your depression,
(11:17):
for anxiety, and media. My boyfriend had a lot of anxiety,
and since we've been doing it, we do it together.
We pray together every like three days. We take two
pills and you don't feel crazy. You don't feel like
you are hallucinating. It's nothing like that. If you take
a lot, then that's a different story. But literally, we're
micro dosing. So we do it together and it's helped
our relationship. It's helped his anxiety so much. Even the depression,
(11:39):
you guys, and me too, I don't feel as sad.
I just I feel different. I don't even know how
to explain it. And I call it like it's a
flesh of God. It comes from the earth, so it's
something supernatural. So anyways, Pamela, that's what I recommend. I
will do a full episode on this as soon as
I find the right person to really dive deep because
I know it helps on a cell your level. But
(12:00):
that's all I know. Okay, So Misty, Autumn, Stellbell, and Pamela,
thank you, thank you, thank you for submitting your questions,
and thank you for listening to both my podcast Dear
Cheeks and Cheeks and Chill. If you guys find yourself
wrestling with an issue, I'd love to help. Please leave
your questions at speakpipe dot com Slash Cheeks and Chill podcast.
I'll see you next week. This is a production of
(12:29):
iHeartRadio and the Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow us on
Instagram at Michael Dura podcast and follow me Cheeks That's
cchi Quis. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast,
and check us out on YouTube.
Host
Chiquis
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