Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's, and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,
whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
these are my thoughts and opinions. And if you're suffering
(00:40):
from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
a qualified professional. All right, Now, go ahead and leave
your question at the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Hey, Cheeky's, my name is Crystal. I just want to
say how much I love you and your podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Girl.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
It's like therapy to me. I love it so much.
I can listen to it for hours and I repeat
sessions and everything like I love it. Today I listened
to three of them because I was a little behind.
I heard you talking about Halloween. I heard you talking
about meditation and prayers and everything, And that's my question
for you. So I've been feeling like the need to
(01:16):
get closer to God. I've been wanting to go to church,
I went once and then I didn't go for a
couple of weeks. And I don't know if I want
to join a Christian church or just continuing Catholic, because
I don't want to go to a church where they
tell me you can't dress this way, you can't wear makeup,
you can't celebrate Halloween, you can't celebrate this. I don't
want to go to something like that. I want to
(01:38):
be able to be myself, but I want to be
more involved. So what is your preference? Have you been
a Catholic before? Are you a Christian now? Or how
do you recommend me starting? Thank you girl, and I
hope I get chosen.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
You have been chosen, Crystal. Thank you so much. This
feedback that you just gave me about the podcast makes
my life just a happy place. You guys have no
idea how happy you guys make me. So thank you
so much, and you prove to me that you were
listening to the episodes, because those are all topics that
we've been talking about on Cheeky's and Chill and now
(02:17):
Dear Cheeky. So thank you and I love your question.
I am a spiritual woman. I respect our religions. I
love different things from different religions. I go to Catholic churches,
I go to Christian churches. I love Buddhism like I
think that there's something to learn from every religion. Now,
do I have one that I prefer most? Not necessarily.
(02:39):
I'll go to a Christian church and one that I
don't know where you live, but I highly recommend RTLA
that's here in Los Angeles and South Central for that
reason because I can go there and be myself and
go with rip jeans and celebrate Halloween, and the pastor
there knows that I cuss and I like to drink.
God loves you in all shapes and colors, in how
(03:00):
you come, and that's what I need. I need to
still be able to be myself. But I'm choosing God,
and that's what you're doing is beautiful. I've learned throughout
the years that it's not trying to fit God into
your life if not making everything else revolve around God.
So you have to put God first. And that's been
my experience for me. When I put God first, everything
just flows so much better. And when I don't, because
(03:22):
there are times and I fall off the wagon or
off track, that happens life happens, and I see and
I feel the difference in my life. Guaranteed it's something
that has happened. I'm not always perfect, you guys. So anyways,
the good thing is that that's a desire that you
have in your heart, and it's going to take you
a while to find the church that fits you best.
But there's also like online churches. There's a Gape so
(03:43):
it's a gape live dot com that's very spiritual and
they it's a beautiful church as well, So that's something
I recommend. But in reality, like you can go if
you want to go to church one Sunday and go
to Catholic church, do it. It's like, just pray God,
let me hear you and let me feel you, and
let the message reach my heart. Doesn't matter what yourch
(04:04):
you go to to be honest, I mean, well not
like the Satanic ones obviously, but I'm just saying, like,
you know, you know what I'm talking about. But Crystal,
I'm so excited for you. The good thing is prayer,
pray morning and night. Every night. I try to pray
on my knees. So it's just being intentional about having
a relationship with the higher power. So Crystal, congratulations on that. Okay, okay,
(04:27):
So our next question comes from Floor.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Hi, chee geez. I love your podcast. Thank you for
having the safe space for us to come to you
about questions, and thank you for being le mana major.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Like me.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
I'm the only child, so I don't have anybody else
to go to, and I don't always want to go
to my mama. My question is my husband and I
share a bank account. I'm the one that handles our
bills and our cash flow, and I've done it since
day one. But in the pawer last three years, I've
been overspending and we had been okay, and then this
(05:06):
year has just been really tough. I've overspent and I'm
like crunching numbers hoping he doesn't spend too much on
something or other. But I don't tell him. It's just
me stressing out because I am so embarrassed to tell him.
I confront him and tell him I fucked up. I
haven't been doing our finances correctly. What do you suggest
(05:26):
I do? How do you suggest I approach this? Thank
you so much?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
I love you, oh my beautiful flower me Floor, Okay, well,
I think it's a wonderful thing that you are reaching out.
And I'm glad that you feel that this is a
safe place because it absolutely is. And any advice that
I give you please you, guys, know that it comes
from the bottom of my heart and I want the
best for you guys. So I think it's a beautiful
thing that you're being honest and that you're admitting that
(05:51):
you overspent and that you're crunching numbers. But you got
to tell your mangirl. You have to be honest with him.
It's gonna cause you stress. He's thinking things are okay.
You have to just let him know. Be like, I
am so embarrassed. I am scared. You're gonna be upset
with me. But I need you to know that this
and this and that happen, and we need to figure
(06:13):
this out together so that he is also aware and
is on the same page of not spending that much,
because he's probably like, I'm gonna spend because we got money.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
We're good.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
But if you're not honest with him, babe, it's gonna
cause a bigger issue. It's better for you to tell
him than to him look into it and then find
out himself. It's always better it's scary. It's scary to
be honest, but it's always better. So that's my suggestion.
Number one suggestion. You need to speak to your husband
as soon as possible, babe, like, don't let this go
(06:42):
any further and stop spending.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
You.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
I don't know what you're buying. You're probably buying a
bunch of bs, because, believe me, I've been there too
where I'm like, oh shit, like I've spent way too
much and I'm stressing. And that's where we have to
be like, we have to ask ourselves. This is something
I deal with every single day. You guys, I love Amazon. Okay,
It's like it's like an addiction. It used to be targeting.
Now it's just at my fingertips, dude, So I get it.
I have to tell myself do I really need this
(07:06):
or is this just something else that's I'm just gonna freaking.
I'm becoming a hoarder. It's ridiculous. So you have to
ask yourself do I really need this? Is this a
luxury or is this a necessity?
Speaker 5 (07:18):
Girl?
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I feel for you because I know that feeling happened
to me once with my mom. Ooh, it's a whole
other episode. But anyways, floor talk to your husband. Talk
to him now, bib. You gotta be honest, and if
you can't speak to him face to face, write him
a letter something, babe. But you gotta do this because
if not, you're gonna get yourself in a deeper hole
and just prevent that. Okay, sending you a big ass hug, girl,
(07:40):
sending you a big hug.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Flow.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
You got this, Okay. So our next question comes from
josse Hi Jiki's.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I met you on ws S and unklet in the
meet and greet, and I even put you on my
graduation cup. I'm class of twenty twenty three. But I
just want to ask you, how do you manage your
work life and your school life, or just anything in
general that affects a huge portion of your time. How
do you respectfully set boundaries in between your peers to
(08:13):
let them know that you're busy and you can always
hang around. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I am so honored that you put me on your
graduation cap. Thank you so much, and congratulations on graduating. Look,
cosim boundaries are very healthy and you are young, so
the fact that you know about these boundaries already, Wow,
I'm excited for your future. Now, you have to understand
(08:40):
a lot of people don't have boundaries, especially younger people.
So I would definitely understand that not everyone's going to
understand first and foremost. But it's okay to say no.
There's so much power in saying no, thank you and
saying I don't really feel like it. You don't have
to be rude, it's just no, thank you. I don't
(09:00):
have peace with that. I want to relax, Especially now
you've graduated, college, work and everything like, you have to
set your priorities straight because if you don't now, it's
going to be very difficult to do it later. People
that love you and that are on the same page
as you are going to understand, and those that don't.
Then you got to think twice, are they the people
(09:21):
that I want in my life? If they're going to
give me shit for it for me saying no, I
can't go, or I don't want to go, or whatever
the case may be, then maybe those people aren't meant
to move on with you in the next season of
your life. Does that make sense?
Speaker 5 (09:34):
So?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I think now, especially after high school, I felt like
I lost a lot of friends, but because I had
different goals, anyone that loves you and is meant to
be in your life is going to understand and respect
your decisions. Okay, but congratulations, I'm very proud of you,
very proud of you. Okay, guys, so are next question
(10:00):
comes from Nata.
Speaker 5 (10:02):
Hi Chieky's could have been before anything. I would like
to say that I'm happy to say hi to you,
and my questions are my bank account is always a negative?
How the freak Can I bring it up as a positive?
I'm a single mother of four kids, pain rent like,
(10:27):
but I know you can help me and I will
listen to your advices. Thank you, take care and man,
you're great.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Thank you so much, Thank you for listening. Thank you
for your question. Look, bottom line, you're not managing your
money correctly, so you have to figure out what you're
overspending on. Are you buying things that you don't need?
You have to always make sure that. Look, I'm a spender.
(10:57):
You know I've gotten better throughout the years, but I'm
a spender. I've learned to save. It's important to save
your money for a rainy day. But the first thing
is make sure that all my bills are paid. So
you have to know, Okay, this is how much I make,
This is what I need to pay and to just
keep the roof over my head, in my children's head,
(11:18):
and obviously food. Think about that. You have to like
figure out if what you're making is sufficient enough for
your living. If not, then you have to think about
do I need to find it a smaller place to live,
something that's not as expensive, all those questions, like you
have to say, Okay, this is what I make, and
this is the money that I need to pay my
rent to buy food. You know what I mean. Everything
(11:39):
else is extra. So that's first of all. Then secondly,
you have to start changing your mind about money. I
know it sounds silly, you guys, but once you start
saying it and really believing it, it's almost like money
comes out of nowhere. And I know that sounds crazy.
I know that sounds crazy, you guys, But trust me.
When you really believe I'm a money magnet, and you're like,
(12:01):
I'm a money magnet, I am healthy, wealthy, and vibrant.
You say all these affirmations to yourself, and I'm like,
money comes to me like magic. If you keep telling
yourself that, I swear to you, someone's gonna come and say, oh,
here's one hundred bucks or here's fifty bucks. You have
to believe it though. You have to remove all those
negative things like I'm broke, I don't never have enough.
My account is always on negative like remove that from
(12:23):
your mindset and especially your vocabulary, Like what you say
becomes the truth and what you think. So it's a
little bit of everything, changing your mindset, changing the way
you speak about yourself and about your money. It will
get better. But you have to stop overspending. I don't
know what you're spending on, but you know, if you're
buying yourself a Starbucks every day, girl, stop buying yourself
(12:45):
a Starbucks every day, make yourself a coffee at home.
Little changes like that that will make a huge difference.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
Believe me.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Postmating, I love postmating, but all that shit adds up
at the end of the month. So think about all
that stuff. Start crunching down the numbers and be like, Okay,
I only have one hundred dollars extra a month to
spend on just whatever I want to do one month.
Don't go out save those one hundred dollars. You feel
me like little things like that, Okay, I hope that
helps Nata. I really do, but make those little changes,
(13:14):
It'll make a big difference, trust me. Okay, guys, so
I'm really hoping I helped you all with some words
of advice and encouragement. Crystal Floor, Josse, and Nada. Your
questions were great this week, and I'm sure they're going
to benefit a lot of listeners. Feel free to leave
me your question at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and
Chill podcast. I'll see you all next week, Choo. This
(13:39):
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Speaker 5 (14:01):
F