June 26, 2024 • 10 mins
Hello everyone! I’m excited to answer a new set of your questions! This week, an anonymous listener has been with her boyfriend for years and wants to know if she should ask for a bigger commitment; Alexis is a musician but needs advice on how to choose a genre and Jayson is dating two people and wants my opinion on how to break things off with one of them.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
What are the cases I want to hear from you?
Remember these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're
(00:40):
suffering from an issue or hardship, you should seek help
from a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and
leave your question at the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Hi, Cheeky's.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
My question for you is I am about eight years
into a relationship. I don't have any kids with my boyfriend.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
We live very happy. We're finally at the point where
we're accomplishing all our goals. I don't know if I'm
being impatient, or I'm being stubborn, or maybe just toxica.
But it's been eight years and I'm not even a
fiance yet. And maybe things aren't meant to be linear,
(01:23):
or maybe things aren't meant to be at a time frame.
Maybe it's you know, all in God's hands. But kind
of feel like eight years is a little bit too
long to not even be engaged.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
So my question for you.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
Would be, if you were in your mid twenties and
you were in a long committed relationship like this, what
would you tell yourself anyways? Hope to hear back from you.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Okay, anonymous listener, here's the thing. You are in your
mid twenties, so you're still fairly young. I personally think again,
this is my personal opinion that we should get married
like in our thirties. Fine, if you want to get
(02:09):
married earlier, there's nothing wrong with that. Other people, like
a lot of people, a lot of men, a lot
of women, are very mature and can do that. I
just feel like we get to know ourselves in a
different way in our thirties, like we're still discovering ourselves
in our twenties. The difference here is that you guys
have been together for eight years, so that.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
You guys were in your teens when you met.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
But eight years is a very long time to be
with someone without having a deeper commitment, like an engagement
at least, So I get your frustration and I get
you kind of like, Okay, where are we going, what
is happening? Have you had this conversation with him? Have
you asked him? Have you told him, hey, I want
to take our relationship to the next level. If you
haven't communicated that, then I suggest that you do that.
(02:54):
If you have and he's just still not nudging, then
maybe that is a sign for you to just make
a decision for yourself. Maybe he's thinking too, hey, maybe
I want to ask her, you know, in our thirties
or in a few years. It all depends on how
long you're willing to wait and if he's worth the wait.
(03:17):
Only you can answer that question. But as far as
you're getting antsy and kind of like wondering what's happening?
I totally get it. You know, you guys have been
together for a long time and at this age. For me,
as soon as I hit my thirties, I was like,
I'm not gonna I don't want to waste time with
guys like I want to know within a year do
you want to marry me? But that's different because you
guys are still very young. You're in your mid twenties,
so it's just a little tricky. But I would just say,
(03:42):
have the conversation with him. That's the best advice I
can give you, and just tell him, Hey, if you're
really ready to take your relationship to the next level,
then definitely have the conversation and tell him that you
are ready and then go from there, because if he
tells you he's not ready, then then you have to.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Make a decision. Are you willing to wait?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Write down his pros and his cons like, weigh it out,
and then make your decision. I hope that that made sense,
and I hope I was able to help you, and
thank you so much for your question. I hope everything
works out. Okay, guys, So the next question comes from alexis.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Hi Cheeky's Oh my God, I love you girls. Okay,
my question. So, I've been stuck for a while regarding
my artistry, which is music. And I know you're a
very versatile artist. You know, you've done banda goumbian, you know, reggaeton,
(04:36):
You've done it basically all. But what I'm having difficulty
is trying to see what I start with because for
a long time I've been a rapper, you know rapping,
you know, bars, bars, bars, But now I'm really into reggaeton,
like Spanish music is something that I hold I really
(05:00):
close to my heart, and like that's something I've been
doing lately that just flows more natural for me. But
I know I'm mainly known for, you know, rapping, So
I'm just like stuck between what should I do. Should
I just continue this English project or should I you know,
skip that and just do my Spanish music. I don't know,
(05:22):
what do you recommend I do? Because I want to
do it all.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Well, if you want to do it all, Alexis, I
suggest that you do it all. I am the wrong
person to ask when it comes to that, because I
am definitely a risk taker, especially when it comes to
my music. I don't want to be put in a
box and just do what people think I should do.
I want to try it all, and I'd rather say
I tried it and it didn't work than to live
(05:49):
with the oh, I didn't do it because I was afraid.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
So definitely tap into that.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
If your soul is asking for that, the Spanish and
reaton and the whole thing, do it. There is absolute
nothing wrong. Especially this is your artistry, Like, this is
your way of expressing yourself, So don't feel limited completely,
explore it, try it all, and then you'll know I
really like this or I'm going to stick to what
(06:14):
I know, or try it all.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Honestly, do it.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
You don't want to regret it later on, especially if
your soul is asking for and it sounds like your
soul is asking for it. So this is your art
and it doesn't even matter. Like even someone that doesn't
speak Spanish and wants to sing Spanish music, I love it.
I'm like, you don't even have to understand the lyrics.
You feel the music. So if you're feeling it, girl,
(06:39):
express it, do it one hundred. I support you, so
I'm excited for you. Let us know, let us know,
give us feedback. Okay, I want to know if you
did it, and I want to hear something, So play
us a little something next time.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Thank you, Alexis. Okay. Last question comes from Jason.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
Hey, Cheeky's Girl. Just wanted to say I love you
so much. You're actually on my vision board right now.
Literally just again manifesting being an unstoppable baddie period. But
I need your advice. So I've been dating these two
guys at the same time, and one of the guys
(07:23):
I've been actually really liking and we're about to be exclusive,
but I'm still kind of lingering with the other guy
just talking to him. But I really do want to
end it and just say like, hey, I just want
to be friends, but I don't want to you know,
like ghost him or you know, like be mean about it.
So I just wanted to get advice on like how
would I like approach the other guy to tell him like, hey,
(07:46):
like I don't want anything else, but you know, a friendship.
Please help me.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Love you, Jason, Well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
It's it's so nice to know that I'm on your
vision board. That makes me feel very special. So thank
you so much.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Now let's get into the nitty gritty.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Okay, boy, you need to just be straight up just
say hey, I was really feeling you, because talking to
two people at the same.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Time, that's a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I don't know how you could do that, Like, hey,
I'm not judging you, I'm just saying like, for me,
it's too much where it caused me anxiety then like
my guilt, like it would drive me nuts.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
But now that you know that you're going one way.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Versus the other, and you're really feeling the other guy,
Make sure you're faithful, Jason, Okay, make sure you're faithful
and honest, because if you guys are still dating and
then you guys were seeing other people, then okay, I
guess that's fine, but tell the other dude. You got
to tell them straight up. Hey, I was really feeling you.
I really like the time that we spent together. But
(08:44):
I have to be honest if you want to tell
him you're talking to someone else, or you just say, hey,
I just want it. I just want us to be friends.
And actually you probably shouldn't even be friends with him though,
because if you're gonna that's too much temptation.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
You can't keep someone that.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
You were dating and maybe having sex with and you know, sucky, sucky,
whatever it is that you guys are doing, you can't
keep them around because then it's temptation. You got to
cut them off all the way you have to. There's
no way that's going to work. I'm fine with my
man having friends that are girls because they never had sex.
If they would have had sex or anything, I'd be like, hey,
that's not cool. You know, if you guys are just
(09:21):
friends and nothing ever happened, then cool. But in this situation.
You got to cut them off. You just got to
be honest. I mean, just say, hey, I was really
feeling you, but right now I'm in a different place
and I think we can you know, I can't even
really be your friend right now.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
I hope you don't take this like personally, but it's
just I'm going a different way right now and you
have to block them. I'm sorry, but you have to
just cut that off if you want to make things
work with this other person. It's the only way. You
can't entertain that relationship anymore at all. And I wish
you the best with this other person. Communication. Okay, be faithful, please, Jason. Okay,
(10:00):
let us know what's up. I want to hear it.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Okay, guys. So that concludes this episode.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I hope that I was able to give good advice
even though my back is killing me right now. But
I am here because I love you guys, and you
guys always make me feel better. So thank you for listening,
Thank you for watching. Oh and if you want to
leave me a question about anything, please go to speakpipe
dot com, slash Cheekys and Chill Podcast to leave your
question and I will do my best answer it with
all my heart.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
This is a production of iHeartRadio and mike Wa podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at mike Withdura Podcasts and.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Follow me Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your favorite shows.
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
What are the cases I want to hear from you?
Remember these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're
(00:40):
suffering from an issue or hardship, you should seek help
from a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and
leave your question at the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Hi, Cheeky's.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
My question for you is I am about eight years
into a relationship. I don't have any kids with my boyfriend.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
We live very happy. We're finally at the point where
we're accomplishing all our goals. I don't know if I'm
being impatient, or I'm being stubborn, or maybe just toxica.
But it's been eight years and I'm not even a
fiance yet. And maybe things aren't meant to be linear,
(01:23):
or maybe things aren't meant to be at a time frame.
Maybe it's you know, all in God's hands. But kind
of feel like eight years is a little bit too
long to not even be engaged.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
So my question for you.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
Would be, if you were in your mid twenties and
you were in a long committed relationship like this, what
would you tell yourself anyways? Hope to hear back from you.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Okay, anonymous listener, here's the thing. You are in your
mid twenties, so you're still fairly young. I personally think again,
this is my personal opinion that we should get married
like in our thirties. Fine, if you want to get
(02:09):
married earlier, there's nothing wrong with that. Other people, like
a lot of people, a lot of men, a lot
of women, are very mature and can do that. I
just feel like we get to know ourselves in a
different way in our thirties, like we're still discovering ourselves
in our twenties. The difference here is that you guys
have been together for eight years, so that.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
You guys were in your teens when you met.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
But eight years is a very long time to be
with someone without having a deeper commitment, like an engagement
at least, So I get your frustration and I get
you kind of like, Okay, where are we going, what
is happening? Have you had this conversation with him? Have
you asked him? Have you told him, hey, I want
to take our relationship to the next level. If you
haven't communicated that, then I suggest that you do that.
(02:54):
If you have and he's just still not nudging, then
maybe that is a sign for you to just make
a decision for yourself. Maybe he's thinking too, hey, maybe
I want to ask her, you know, in our thirties
or in a few years. It all depends on how
long you're willing to wait and if he's worth the wait.
(03:17):
Only you can answer that question. But as far as
you're getting antsy and kind of like wondering what's happening?
I totally get it. You know, you guys have been
together for a long time and at this age. For me,
as soon as I hit my thirties, I was like,
I'm not gonna I don't want to waste time with
guys like I want to know within a year do
you want to marry me? But that's different because you
guys are still very young. You're in your mid twenties,
so it's just a little tricky. But I would just say,
(03:42):
have the conversation with him. That's the best advice I
can give you, and just tell him, Hey, if you're
really ready to take your relationship to the next level,
then definitely have the conversation and tell him that you
are ready and then go from there, because if he
tells you he's not ready, then then you have to.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Make a decision. Are you willing to wait?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Write down his pros and his cons like, weigh it out,
and then make your decision. I hope that that made sense,
and I hope I was able to help you, and
thank you so much for your question. I hope everything
works out. Okay, guys, So the next question comes from alexis.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Hi Cheeky's Oh my God, I love you girls. Okay,
my question. So, I've been stuck for a while regarding
my artistry, which is music. And I know you're a
very versatile artist. You know, you've done banda goumbian, you know, reggaeton,
(04:36):
You've done it basically all. But what I'm having difficulty
is trying to see what I start with because for
a long time I've been a rapper, you know rapping,
you know, bars, bars, bars, But now I'm really into reggaeton,
like Spanish music is something that I hold I really
(05:00):
close to my heart, and like that's something I've been
doing lately that just flows more natural for me. But
I know I'm mainly known for, you know, rapping, So
I'm just like stuck between what should I do. Should
I just continue this English project or should I you know,
skip that and just do my Spanish music. I don't know,
(05:22):
what do you recommend I do? Because I want to
do it all.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Well, if you want to do it all, Alexis, I
suggest that you do it all. I am the wrong
person to ask when it comes to that, because I
am definitely a risk taker, especially when it comes to
my music. I don't want to be put in a
box and just do what people think I should do.
I want to try it all, and I'd rather say
I tried it and it didn't work than to live
(05:49):
with the oh, I didn't do it because I was afraid.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
So definitely tap into that.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
If your soul is asking for that, the Spanish and
reaton and the whole thing, do it. There is absolute
nothing wrong. Especially this is your artistry, Like, this is
your way of expressing yourself, So don't feel limited completely,
explore it, try it all, and then you'll know I
really like this or I'm going to stick to what
(06:14):
I know, or try it all.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Honestly, do it.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
You don't want to regret it later on, especially if
your soul is asking for and it sounds like your
soul is asking for it. So this is your art
and it doesn't even matter. Like even someone that doesn't
speak Spanish and wants to sing Spanish music, I love it.
I'm like, you don't even have to understand the lyrics.
You feel the music. So if you're feeling it, girl,
(06:39):
express it, do it one hundred. I support you, so
I'm excited for you. Let us know, let us know,
give us feedback. Okay, I want to know if you
did it, and I want to hear something, So play
us a little something next time.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Thank you, Alexis. Okay. Last question comes from Jason.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
Hey, Cheeky's Girl. Just wanted to say I love you
so much. You're actually on my vision board right now.
Literally just again manifesting being an unstoppable baddie period. But
I need your advice. So I've been dating these two
guys at the same time, and one of the guys
(07:23):
I've been actually really liking and we're about to be exclusive,
but I'm still kind of lingering with the other guy
just talking to him. But I really do want to
end it and just say like, hey, I just want
to be friends, but I don't want to you know,
like ghost him or you know, like be mean about it.
So I just wanted to get advice on like how
would I like approach the other guy to tell him like, hey,
(07:46):
like I don't want anything else, but you know, a friendship.
Please help me.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Love you, Jason, Well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
It's it's so nice to know that I'm on your
vision board. That makes me feel very special. So thank
you so much.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Now let's get into the nitty gritty.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Okay, boy, you need to just be straight up just
say hey, I was really feeling you, because talking to
two people at the same.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Time, that's a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I don't know how you could do that, Like, hey,
I'm not judging you, I'm just saying like, for me,
it's too much where it caused me anxiety then like
my guilt, like it would drive me nuts.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
But now that you know that you're going one way.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Versus the other, and you're really feeling the other guy,
Make sure you're faithful, Jason, Okay, make sure you're faithful
and honest, because if you guys are still dating and
then you guys were seeing other people, then okay, I
guess that's fine, but tell the other dude. You got
to tell them straight up. Hey, I was really feeling you.
I really like the time that we spent together. But
(08:44):
I have to be honest if you want to tell
him you're talking to someone else, or you just say, hey,
I just want it. I just want us to be friends.
And actually you probably shouldn't even be friends with him though,
because if you're gonna that's too much temptation.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
You can't keep someone that.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
You were dating and maybe having sex with and you know, sucky, sucky,
whatever it is that you guys are doing, you can't
keep them around because then it's temptation. You got to
cut them off all the way you have to. There's
no way that's going to work. I'm fine with my
man having friends that are girls because they never had sex.
If they would have had sex or anything, I'd be like, hey,
that's not cool. You know, if you guys are just
(09:21):
friends and nothing ever happened, then cool. But in this situation.
You got to cut them off. You just got to
be honest. I mean, just say, hey, I was really
feeling you, but right now I'm in a different place
and I think we can you know, I can't even
really be your friend right now.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
I hope you don't take this like personally, but it's
just I'm going a different way right now and you
have to block them. I'm sorry, but you have to
just cut that off if you want to make things
work with this other person. It's the only way. You
can't entertain that relationship anymore at all. And I wish
you the best with this other person. Communication. Okay, be faithful, please, Jason. Okay,
(10:00):
let us know what's up. I want to hear it.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Okay, guys. So that concludes this episode.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I hope that I was able to give good advice
even though my back is killing me right now. But
I am here because I love you guys, and you
guys always make me feel better. So thank you for listening,
Thank you for watching. Oh and if you want to
leave me a question about anything, please go to speakpipe
dot com, slash Cheekys and Chill Podcast to leave your
question and I will do my best answer it with
all my heart.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
This is a production of iHeartRadio and mike Wa podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at mike Withdura Podcasts and.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Follow me Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your favorite shows.
Host
Chiquis
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