Hola, Hola! It’s Wednesday, and that means we’re back with another episode of Dear Chiquis. Thanks to Sandra, Less, Aureli and Mari for submitting their questions this week. Today, I talk openly about some of the struggles I’ve had with public speaking and how I overcame them; I give Less some advice on how she can talk to her husband about the drama his family is causing; we touch on some of the things you can do to help kids with autism, and we hear from a returning listener about her new endeavor and how to deal with negative feedback.
Submit your questions at speakpipe.com/chiquisandchillpodcast! And don’t forget to listen to “Chiquis and Chill” every Monday. They’re longer podcast episodes filled with personal stories and interviews with special guests.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hello, everyone, it's your go Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
these are my thoughts and opinions. And if you're suffering
(00:40):
from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave
your question at the sound of the beeB.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Ola Cheeky's the Yellow Sandra, First, I really enjoy listening
to your podcast. I work from home, so I look
forward to pressing play. Thank you about your speaking skills.
I have noticed that you're very well.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Spoken in English and in Spanish.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Have you been like that?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
That's that you keet that I say a lot of
ums and hums, and I pods and my voice cracks.
I just want to be able to sound confident when
I'm trying to convey a message, especially during work meetings.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I know I haven't in me, but I just don't
know how to overcome it. I feel like I'm having
some kind of imposter syndrome.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
So a.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Gratia, take care, bye.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Sandra Guerlinda. Thank you so much. That is such a
beautiful compliment that you just gave me. Because I'll be
honest like I always am. It's something I struggled with,
and honestly, I think you're being hard on yourself because
you sound very well spoken yourself, and that's me. I'm
very hard on myself, and I think it's because of
(01:58):
how I grew up my first language with Spanish, and
then I learned English, so I always had difficulty in
school and I think that's where I learned how to
turn criticism into constructive criticism. When I said, okay, I
didn't spell this word correctly, I don't know how to
read this word, I was very hard on myself and like,
I want to say it correctly, I want to sound smart,
(02:21):
I want to learn better Spanish. When I first started
my career as a singer and being, you know, on
media and stuff, I didn't speak Spanish correctly. So what
I did was like, I'm going to listen to Spanish
radio and Spanish television and read in Spanish and still
there are things that I say incorrectly. But the thing
(02:41):
here is wanting to grow, wanting to learn, and that's
something that I have in me. I love to learn.
I love to learn something new. Another thing I would
do was I had this thing. It's so funny. I
would carry a dictionary with me and I even have
a dictionary app on my phone and I learn a
new word every day. It's like, oh, the word of
the day is this, and this is a definition and
(03:02):
this is how you use it. And I'm like, oh nice.
So I just I love to learn, so I think
that will definitely help you. And yeah, I mean there's
sometimes when I'm I'm a total value girl. I'm like like,
like I say, like a lot, and I'm just like, okay, wait,
I have to get better at that. That's why sometimes
I even listen to the podcast and I'm like, Okay,
what can I change? What can I better? Because I
want to be better, I really do. So that makes
(03:22):
me so happy that you think that, Thank you so much.
But yeah, that's my suggestion. I think just engrossing yourself
with information and reading. I think reading has helped me
a lot, and believe me. I mean, I used to
give me anxiety you guys reading in front of class,
because when I was in fifth grade, I read the
word island wrong. I said island, which I'm like, well, duh,
(03:44):
shouldn't it be island? You know it does have an S.
But that's where I was like, oh shoot, wait, let
me learn the different theres. You know, one day we'll
have a podcast on all that, you guys to explain.
But anyways, Sandra, thank you for your question, and I
hope my suggestions help. Okay, you're so, I really appreciate it. Okay,
(04:05):
So we have another question from les Hi Cheeky's.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
I am reaching out because long story short, I have
been with my husband for ten years and in those
ten years, his family and I have not gotten along.
And it has never been because I have done something
to them. It's always because they do something to me.
And it has gone to the point where I would
never say anything because I wanted to keep the peace
and be respectful, but it has gotten to the point
(04:29):
where it's a little too much. They have been disrespectful
towards my son, and it's just so many things going
on that have just been very frustrating. My husband doesn't
set boundaries with his family, and I always end up
having to say something about it, and I look like
the bad one always. So when I talk to my
husband about it, you know, we come to all of
these agreements, we do all these things, We you know,
(04:51):
agree to all these things, and he forgets about them
as soon as they get in contact with him again.
And it's a little frustrated. It's been like this for
over ten years now, and I feel like, you know,
maybe sometimes it's just time to move on because his
family's just an issue. What do you recommend? What can
I do so that he can start setting these boundaries
(05:13):
because he has gone to therapy, but he goes on
and off, and I honestly don't even see that it's working.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Hi, Les, Okay, when people involve your children, that's where
it gets very difficult because I can just imagine the
way I am with my siblings. It's like, as soon
as someone is so, I get it. You've been with
him for over ten years, it sounds like, so it's
really in his hands. I mean, this is his family.
(05:42):
He needs to really put them in their place, and
he needs to give you and your son and your
family your place. I love to hear the fact that
he's trying. I mean, he's going to therapy and he
just needs to be consistent. That word consistent is so important.
I think that you should have a conversation with him
and just say, you know what, I'm at the WIT's
(06:02):
end of my rope and I don't want to leave
our relationship, but this is causing me a lot of unhappiness,
and I really feel like you're not giving our family
the priority here. And if you don't stay consistent with
therapy once a week for I don't know, six months
a year, then I'm going to have to excuse myself
(06:24):
from this relationship because it's causing me a lot of unhappiness.
I think, sob son yan Gano, if you let him
know and you put it out like that and you're
setting your boundaries, if he cares about your relationship, then
he's going to do what he has to do consistently.
I love the fact that he's trying, but if you're
not consistent, then it's not going to become a habit
(06:47):
and he's not going to be reminded every week by
his therapist the importance of keeping his family and what
he needs to do as a man to do that.
So that's my suggestion. I think you need to have
this conversation with him because family's a very touchy subject
and when the in laws or the family, the extended family,
you don't get along with him, it does cause a
lot of tension. So he needs to decide who is
(07:09):
priority here. You should be priority. I really hope the
situation gets better because I know what that is, girl,
and that shit is hard. So I'm gonna be praying
for you, guys, and I hope the conversation goes well
and he gets it and realizes what he has in
his hands and values it and does what he has
to do consistently. You guys, that's a huge word.
Speaker 5 (07:31):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
So our next question comes from an anonymous listener.
Speaker 6 (07:35):
Hi, Jekis, I just recently heard your podcast of you
telling the backstories of your tattoos, and I remember you
saying you had one in support of family member of
yours with autism. My boyfriend's nephew recently got diagnosed with autism,
and I guess my question to you is what ways
can I support their family in ways that are not
(07:57):
just like being there and showing my support like is
there anything that you think a family needs that wouldn't
ask for or I'm not too sure. I guess I'm
just trying to find ways and wish to help them.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Oh really, I love your question. I think that's so awesome.
The fact that you care enough to like take your
time to ask a question in regards to this, that
means a lot to me, especially because you know my
niece has autism. So I think that you should learn
more about autism. There's a lot of information on the
internet so that you can be a better you know
(08:32):
thea crazy enough. Years and years ago I was helping
children with autism. I went to like this course and
I learned a lot about it, not knowing obviously that
like ten plus years later I would have a niece
that has autism. So I think that really helped me
as well, and it was very new to our family.
But I have done my research. I've gone on the
(08:54):
internet and I'm like, Okay, what are things that children
with autism don't like or what do they like? Because
there's nothing wrong with them, it's not like they're they
just learn differently, so it's like learning how they learn
and things that they don't like and every situation is different. Also,
maybe giving either your boyfriend or you know, your nephew's
(09:14):
mom a book on autism. There are books on like
how to work with a child that has autism, stuff
like that. You know, there are books like that at
Barnes and Noble. But that's my suggestion. It's still a learning,
you know, process for us because as she gets older,
things change. So it's just it's learning how they learn.
(09:35):
It's watching videos as well. There's a lot of information
out there on autism now more than ever. So that's
my suggestion. And I just I don't know, you really
touch my heart with this. This is so awesome that
you're asking this. I don't know, it just makes my
heart feel happy. Okay, so guys, our last question comes
from Marii.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
Hi chickens. Just wanted to start off by saying, damn girl,
you is a bad that bitch. I was watching your
TikTok videos from Mexico. Oh my god, you look beautiful.
Your voice is amazing. Gas. So it's me Maddi from Mexico. Again.
You're gonna be like, I just wanted to say thank
(10:16):
you last time I had a message to you about
finding my purpose and you were so sweet and you
messaged me back and you gave me a different point
of view so much so that a lot and I
started giving English classes. I just wanted to update you
on that. I started giving English classes and my sister
told me yesterday, she was like, maybe your purpose is
(10:38):
to teach these little kids a different language. And I
was like, oh my god, I need to talk chick
is this? So I just want to let you know that.
Also ask you for a piece of advice. I know
that I'm going to get negative comments because there's other
people here that also teach English and have like schools,
and I hear people saying like, oh my god, not
listen Sea Nada Bose, they don't even know this, this
(11:00):
and that. How can I deal with negative comments? I
know they're going to come, and I'm a very sensitive
person and things get to me. So what would be
your piece of advice for me to deal with it?
Thank you so much, Love.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
You Muddy, I love you too. This is so exciting
you guys. This is like, I think, our first update
and it just makes me so happy. So you guys
send me your updates. I really want to know if
you took my advice or if you did something different,
even if you didn't take my advice and you did
something different, but regardless, I want to hear from you, guys.
So thank you, thank you, Mady for giving us an update.
(11:34):
I'm so happy and so proud of you for doing it.
And you did it. This is what I'm talking about saying,
fuck it, I'm gonna just take a leap of faith.
So I am so so happy for you and so
proud of you. So congratulations, round of applause for you
and negative comments. Girl, you're preaching to the choir here.
(11:55):
So I understand. When you're doing something good yea, and
something that's changing the world, and something that makes other
people uncomfortable, they're going to talk. It's just a part
of being a badass, you know what I mean. So
we just have to see it that way and do
your very best to not react, try your best not
to pay attention. I know it is not easy to
(12:18):
not pay attention to ignore it, but you have to
know what I'm doing in the life of these children,
and I'm teaching them English in a different language. It's
going to give them so much power and so much
confidence for their future. That you're doing something so good
it doesn't even matter what anyone has to say, because
(12:39):
you know what you're doing is a good thing. So
you need to just oulos and just keep going, focus
on your mission and what you're doing for these children.
And gueviga loke quira la tente. And there's a saying,
and you guys have heard it. I'm sure that goes
low sum like this. Guando las Perra's sad. They're gonna
(13:03):
keep barking. That's it. They're hungry, so they're gonna keep barking.
Let them bark, and you just be like, well, I
gotta go elsewhere. So that is my suggestion, Madi not
you're doing something amazing, so don't waste your energy on that. Okay,
all right, So that's all the time we have today
you guys. As always, it was so nice hearing from
(13:24):
you all. Thank you to Sandra, les Alrelli and Maddy
for their questions today. I'd love to help you with
anything that's on your mind, so you can leave your
question for me at speakpipe dot com, Slash Cheekys and
Chill Podcast. I'll see you guys soon, los Amo. This
(13:46):
is a production of iHeartRadio and the Microldura podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcast, then follow
me Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s.
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, and check
us out on YouTube. M
Hello, everyone, it's your go Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
these are my thoughts and opinions. And if you're suffering
(00:40):
from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave
your question at the sound of the beeB.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Ola Cheeky's the Yellow Sandra, First, I really enjoy listening
to your podcast. I work from home, so I look
forward to pressing play. Thank you about your speaking skills.
I have noticed that you're very well.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Spoken in English and in Spanish.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Have you been like that?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
That's that you keet that I say a lot of
ums and hums, and I pods and my voice cracks.
I just want to be able to sound confident when
I'm trying to convey a message, especially during work meetings.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I know I haven't in me, but I just don't
know how to overcome it. I feel like I'm having
some kind of imposter syndrome.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
So a.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Gratia, take care, bye.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Sandra Guerlinda. Thank you so much. That is such a
beautiful compliment that you just gave me. Because I'll be
honest like I always am. It's something I struggled with,
and honestly, I think you're being hard on yourself because
you sound very well spoken yourself, and that's me. I'm
very hard on myself, and I think it's because of
(01:58):
how I grew up my first language with Spanish, and
then I learned English, so I always had difficulty in
school and I think that's where I learned how to
turn criticism into constructive criticism. When I said, okay, I
didn't spell this word correctly, I don't know how to
read this word, I was very hard on myself and like,
I want to say it correctly, I want to sound smart,
(02:21):
I want to learn better Spanish. When I first started
my career as a singer and being, you know, on
media and stuff, I didn't speak Spanish correctly. So what
I did was like, I'm going to listen to Spanish
radio and Spanish television and read in Spanish and still
there are things that I say incorrectly. But the thing
(02:41):
here is wanting to grow, wanting to learn, and that's
something that I have in me. I love to learn.
I love to learn something new. Another thing I would
do was I had this thing. It's so funny. I
would carry a dictionary with me and I even have
a dictionary app on my phone and I learn a
new word every day. It's like, oh, the word of
the day is this, and this is a definition and
(03:02):
this is how you use it. And I'm like, oh nice.
So I just I love to learn, so I think
that will definitely help you. And yeah, I mean there's
sometimes when I'm I'm a total value girl. I'm like like,
like I say, like a lot, and I'm just like, okay, wait,
I have to get better at that. That's why sometimes
I even listen to the podcast and I'm like, Okay,
what can I change? What can I better? Because I
want to be better, I really do. So that makes
(03:22):
me so happy that you think that, Thank you so much.
But yeah, that's my suggestion. I think just engrossing yourself
with information and reading. I think reading has helped me
a lot, and believe me. I mean, I used to
give me anxiety you guys reading in front of class,
because when I was in fifth grade, I read the
word island wrong. I said island, which I'm like, well, duh,
(03:44):
shouldn't it be island? You know it does have an S.
But that's where I was like, oh shoot, wait, let
me learn the different theres. You know, one day we'll
have a podcast on all that, you guys to explain.
But anyways, Sandra, thank you for your question, and I
hope my suggestions help. Okay, you're so, I really appreciate it. Okay,
(04:05):
So we have another question from les Hi Cheeky's.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
I am reaching out because long story short, I have
been with my husband for ten years and in those
ten years, his family and I have not gotten along.
And it has never been because I have done something
to them. It's always because they do something to me.
And it has gone to the point where I would
never say anything because I wanted to keep the peace
and be respectful, but it has gotten to the point
(04:29):
where it's a little too much. They have been disrespectful
towards my son, and it's just so many things going
on that have just been very frustrating. My husband doesn't
set boundaries with his family, and I always end up
having to say something about it, and I look like
the bad one always. So when I talk to my
husband about it, you know, we come to all of
these agreements, we do all these things, We you know,
(04:51):
agree to all these things, and he forgets about them
as soon as they get in contact with him again.
And it's a little frustrated. It's been like this for
over ten years now, and I feel like, you know,
maybe sometimes it's just time to move on because his
family's just an issue. What do you recommend? What can
I do so that he can start setting these boundaries
(05:13):
because he has gone to therapy, but he goes on
and off, and I honestly don't even see that it's working.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Hi, Les, Okay, when people involve your children, that's where
it gets very difficult because I can just imagine the
way I am with my siblings. It's like, as soon
as someone is so, I get it. You've been with
him for over ten years, it sounds like, so it's
really in his hands. I mean, this is his family.
(05:42):
He needs to really put them in their place, and
he needs to give you and your son and your
family your place. I love to hear the fact that
he's trying. I mean, he's going to therapy and he
just needs to be consistent. That word consistent is so important.
I think that you should have a conversation with him
and just say, you know what, I'm at the WIT's
(06:02):
end of my rope and I don't want to leave
our relationship, but this is causing me a lot of unhappiness,
and I really feel like you're not giving our family
the priority here. And if you don't stay consistent with
therapy once a week for I don't know, six months
a year, then I'm going to have to excuse myself
(06:24):
from this relationship because it's causing me a lot of unhappiness.
I think, sob son yan Gano, if you let him
know and you put it out like that and you're
setting your boundaries, if he cares about your relationship, then
he's going to do what he has to do consistently.
I love the fact that he's trying, but if you're
not consistent, then it's not going to become a habit
(06:47):
and he's not going to be reminded every week by
his therapist the importance of keeping his family and what
he needs to do as a man to do that.
So that's my suggestion. I think you need to have
this conversation with him because family's a very touchy subject
and when the in laws or the family, the extended family,
you don't get along with him, it does cause a
lot of tension. So he needs to decide who is
(07:09):
priority here. You should be priority. I really hope the
situation gets better because I know what that is, girl,
and that shit is hard. So I'm gonna be praying
for you, guys, and I hope the conversation goes well
and he gets it and realizes what he has in
his hands and values it and does what he has
to do consistently. You guys, that's a huge word.
Speaker 5 (07:31):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
So our next question comes from an anonymous listener.
Speaker 6 (07:35):
Hi, Jekis, I just recently heard your podcast of you
telling the backstories of your tattoos, and I remember you
saying you had one in support of family member of
yours with autism. My boyfriend's nephew recently got diagnosed with autism,
and I guess my question to you is what ways
can I support their family in ways that are not
(07:57):
just like being there and showing my support like is
there anything that you think a family needs that wouldn't
ask for or I'm not too sure. I guess I'm
just trying to find ways and wish to help them.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Oh really, I love your question. I think that's so awesome.
The fact that you care enough to like take your
time to ask a question in regards to this, that
means a lot to me, especially because you know my
niece has autism. So I think that you should learn
more about autism. There's a lot of information on the
internet so that you can be a better you know
(08:32):
thea crazy enough. Years and years ago I was helping
children with autism. I went to like this course and
I learned a lot about it, not knowing obviously that
like ten plus years later I would have a niece
that has autism. So I think that really helped me
as well, and it was very new to our family.
But I have done my research. I've gone on the
(08:54):
internet and I'm like, Okay, what are things that children
with autism don't like or what do they like? Because
there's nothing wrong with them, it's not like they're they
just learn differently, so it's like learning how they learn
and things that they don't like and every situation is different. Also,
maybe giving either your boyfriend or you know, your nephew's
(09:14):
mom a book on autism. There are books on like
how to work with a child that has autism, stuff
like that. You know, there are books like that at
Barnes and Noble. But that's my suggestion. It's still a learning,
you know, process for us because as she gets older,
things change. So it's just it's learning how they learn.
(09:35):
It's watching videos as well. There's a lot of information
out there on autism now more than ever. So that's
my suggestion. And I just I don't know, you really
touch my heart with this. This is so awesome that
you're asking this. I don't know, it just makes my
heart feel happy. Okay, so guys, our last question comes
from Marii.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
Hi chickens. Just wanted to start off by saying, damn girl,
you is a bad that bitch. I was watching your
TikTok videos from Mexico. Oh my god, you look beautiful.
Your voice is amazing. Gas. So it's me Maddi from Mexico. Again.
You're gonna be like, I just wanted to say thank
(10:16):
you last time I had a message to you about
finding my purpose and you were so sweet and you
messaged me back and you gave me a different point
of view so much so that a lot and I
started giving English classes. I just wanted to update you
on that. I started giving English classes and my sister
told me yesterday, she was like, maybe your purpose is
(10:38):
to teach these little kids a different language. And I
was like, oh my god, I need to talk chick
is this? So I just want to let you know that.
Also ask you for a piece of advice. I know
that I'm going to get negative comments because there's other
people here that also teach English and have like schools,
and I hear people saying like, oh my god, not
listen Sea Nada Bose, they don't even know this, this
(11:00):
and that. How can I deal with negative comments? I
know they're going to come, and I'm a very sensitive
person and things get to me. So what would be
your piece of advice for me to deal with it?
Thank you so much, Love.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
You Muddy, I love you too. This is so exciting
you guys. This is like, I think, our first update
and it just makes me so happy. So you guys
send me your updates. I really want to know if
you took my advice or if you did something different,
even if you didn't take my advice and you did
something different, but regardless, I want to hear from you, guys.
So thank you, thank you, Mady for giving us an update.
(11:34):
I'm so happy and so proud of you for doing it.
And you did it. This is what I'm talking about saying,
fuck it, I'm gonna just take a leap of faith.
So I am so so happy for you and so
proud of you. So congratulations, round of applause for you
and negative comments. Girl, you're preaching to the choir here.
(11:55):
So I understand. When you're doing something good yea, and
something that's changing the world, and something that makes other
people uncomfortable, they're going to talk. It's just a part
of being a badass, you know what I mean. So
we just have to see it that way and do
your very best to not react, try your best not
to pay attention. I know it is not easy to
(12:18):
not pay attention to ignore it, but you have to
know what I'm doing in the life of these children,
and I'm teaching them English in a different language. It's
going to give them so much power and so much
confidence for their future. That you're doing something so good
it doesn't even matter what anyone has to say, because
(12:39):
you know what you're doing is a good thing. So
you need to just oulos and just keep going, focus
on your mission and what you're doing for these children.
And gueviga loke quira la tente. And there's a saying,
and you guys have heard it. I'm sure that goes
low sum like this. Guando las Perra's sad. They're gonna
(13:03):
keep barking. That's it. They're hungry, so they're gonna keep barking.
Let them bark, and you just be like, well, I
gotta go elsewhere. So that is my suggestion, Madi not
you're doing something amazing, so don't waste your energy on that. Okay,
all right, So that's all the time we have today
you guys. As always, it was so nice hearing from
(13:24):
you all. Thank you to Sandra, les Alrelli and Maddy
for their questions today. I'd love to help you with
anything that's on your mind, so you can leave your
question for me at speakpipe dot com, Slash Cheekys and
Chill Podcast. I'll see you guys soon, los Amo. This
(13:46):
is a production of iHeartRadio and the Microldura podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcast, then follow
me Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s.
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, and check
us out on YouTube. M
Host
Chiquis
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