Hola, Hola! It’s Wednesday, and that means we’re back with another episode of Dear Chiquis. Thanks to this week’s listeners for their questions. This week, we’re talking about why it’s a good idea to recharge your batteries – even if you’re a busy mom, a conflicted listener opens up about her fear of pressing charges against family members who sexually abused her as a child, and lastly, a short pep talk on why you should start that project you’ve been delaying.
A reminder to all my listeners: These are my thoughts and opinions and I encourage you to seek help from a qualified professional if you’re suffering an issue or hardship that requires immediate attention.
Submit your questions at speakpipe.com/chiquisandchillpodcast! And don’t forget to listen to “Chiquis and Chill” every Monday. They’re longer podcast episodes filled with personal stories and interviews with special guests.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
(00:40):
from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave
your question at the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Hi, Cheeky's, how are you beautiful? My name is Jasmine
and I want to ask you a question regarding some
free time for yourself. The reason why I ask you
this question and it's because I do know that you
are a second mother to your siblings and at a
very young age, you were hell responsible for them. I'm
twenty nine and I need a breather that I just
(01:11):
I love my children, I love spending time with them.
I would be nothing without them, but sometimes I just
want some me time. Is there any advice you could
give on how to find some time for yourself. Are
you even able to get some time for yourself? That's
my question.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Oh my goodness, thank you for your question. Look, it
definitely is possible, and it should be a priority in
your life. A lot of women feel like once they
become a mother, their life has changed forever, which yes,
it has changed, and they feel like selfish and guilty
to find time for themselves. And that's absolutely incorrect. I mean, obviously,
(01:52):
it's all about balance. Even when I was raising my siblings,
Johnny was eleven Jenniica was fifteen, they did need to
take them to school and everything. I did my best
to spend as much time as I could with them,
but I would make it a point to get my
neils done, to go out with my friends. And it's
all about finding that balance so that I don't eventually
(02:14):
resent them. I didn't want to ever resent them or
feel like I was missing out on something because I
was taking care of them. I loved taking care of them.
I love my siblings. I love to see them growing
up now and like, oh, you know, like I had
something to do with that. But I also took the
time to take care of my heart. So it's definitely possible,
and I think maybe just waking up a little bit earlier,
if possible, and spending some time by yourself, journaling, praying,
(02:35):
something that's just going to keep you aligned, and also
asking someone I don't know if you're single, if you're
a single mother, but having someone help you with the
kids for a couple of hours where you can just
go on a walk, go get your nails and get
your hair done, Like, don't forget about yourself. Because as
beautiful and as much of a blessing that children are,
they're going to grow up one day and Manasuq, like,
(02:59):
you have to find that balance. It's absolutely imperative. So Jasmine,
I hope that that you can just take that step.
It's just deciding and doing it, and it's okay. They're
not gonna hate you. They're still gonna love you. Your
kids are gonna love you. Don't feel guilty and think that,
oh la, no, this is also your life and your
life has not stopped because you had children. Now let's
(03:21):
hear from Terrese.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
My name is dere Sah. But for anything, I want
to say, I appreciate you for being vulnerable and opening
up this space for your fan base and boss Bace
really means a lot to us who follow you and
your family. My question of advice for you is what
can I do to overcome this fear and feeling of
guilt to claim justice for myself. I'm twenty six and
within the last five years, I've been going through the
heights and those of reliving my past of childhood sexual
(03:45):
abuse from a couple family members and other people. I
only tell my family of two though, who were close
to me. It wasn't just physical and it's just the past.
This is something that took away in my childhood, innocence,
my peace of mind. Sometimes you didn't feel like my soul.
I suffer from PTSD daily. I no longer ask God why,
but instead how do I transform this pain into power?
Opening up about this has changed my life for the better.
(04:06):
Talking about sensitive and unspeakable subjects, like some may say
the taboo, is what I found is healing not only
for me, but for so many men and women out
there who have and are currently living my experience. But
that being said, I'm going through the dilemma of pressing
charges on one of my abusers. I'm still within the
statue of limitations in my state. I'm just not sure
if I'm going to go.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Through with it, but I'm running out of time. I
know by doing this, I will mix the pot with
a lot of my family members who already don't have
my back anyways, but I know this will be an
eye opener for many of them who have gone through
similar experiences and it was just shoved under the rug
by the family. Thank you for listening and sharing if
it makes it on the podcast. I'm a huge fan.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
I listen to every episode that will meet you kick
much love from a Bossbeache.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
OHI Gileena, Teresa, thank you. See this is how you
guys know I don't listen to these questions prior is
because I said Teresa and her name is Teres actually
pronounces it, so just so you guys know. Okay, anyways, ah,
that is some I feel you. First of all, you're
so insightful, You're so intelligent. Like I was listening to you,
I'm like, wow, Look, I'm proud of you for wanting
(05:12):
and hopefully going through with pressing charges because I know
that that's not easy. I had to do that. I
was very afraid and it still hurts me sometimes because
my abuser was my father and it was just such
a weird moment and I did lose a lot of family.
But look, if those people have already turned their back
(05:33):
on you, ohsa bye, you know what I mean, Like,
you don't need those people in your life. If they
don't believe you, if they're not going to support you,
then you don't need those people in your life. And
if they get upset because you press charges a yaya
yos like this is something you're doing for yourself, not
only for yourself, and this is where it changed for me.
I'm also doing it for future generations. I have to
(05:55):
defend myself. I have to show and that's how you
have to see it, like, wait, this happened to me,
and I have the opportunity of getting justice for not
only myself, but for the little girls that are watching
me that God forbid have gone or are gonna go
or are going through the same thing. And they see
you and say, wow, she did it. Like we have
(06:16):
that responsibility as women to use our voice to say, hey,
this happened, because that's the only way we're gonna be
able to stop this, hopefully, is by talking about it,
by doing things like this and pressing charges, so I
applaud you for that. I applaud you for that first
of all. Now here's the thing. I am a huge
advocate for therapy. That's what has helped me. So I
(06:38):
would highly recommend for you to get therapy, a life coach,
to read books, read my book. I don't know if
you've read my book Forgiveness, forgiving, really forgiving and not
holding resentment towards these people. Yes, they hurt you. Forgiving
doesn't mean you're excusing what they did. It's letting it
go and leaving it in God's hands. That's what it means.
It's a gift for yourself. It gives you the wings
(07:00):
to fly into sore. And I don't know if maybe
you're holding resentment, and I don't blame you if you do,
but really just trying to just forgive, not forget, just
forgive and say you know what, Only God knows why
this happened to me, And I'm going to use this
as strength to help other people. And once you remove
it from yourself and you focus it on other people,
you feel better about the situation. I hope that makes sense.
(07:24):
But there is that thank you, and I'm sending you
a big big kiss in La Forente. Okay, let's hear
from Sanya Chiky's I love you.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
I just wanted to get some advice from you. For
a while, I have been really determined to start my
own podcast, so I just wanted to know if you
had any advice, any ideas, anything, even the smallest thing
would really help. I'm kind, I'm a shy person, so
just me even trying to start this up is a
(08:04):
really big step for me, and it's me coming out
of my show. I just feel like I have a
lot to say when it comes to dealing with mental
illness and women like me who deal with it every
day in relationships and friendships and family issues and anything.
You know, I've been through it all. Your podcast, too,
is one of the many ones that inspire me every day.
And then I listen to you and I'm just like, Wow,
(08:25):
she always knows what to say. It's just a too
shout out to overcome for podcast, Jennico Lopez, I just
really love that you guys are doing your thing, and
it's really inspiring to me, and I definitely want to
try it. I know I might not get a lot
of listeners like you guys better if I can just
make somebody's day or put a smile on somebody's face
with my words and my advice, it will all have
(08:45):
them worth it. And I just want to say thank
you for being the queen of us boss Speed. You know,
we got to stick together, so yeah, anything would be
really helpful. And just keep it up because you really
really make a difference in people's lives, even if you
don't know it.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Thank you, girl. You just made me feel so happy.
You're so cute. Thank you. Well. I think it's amazing
that you want to start your podcast, and I think
you should just do it. You know you guys, I
always say this. I'm like, I don't like to live
with the what if, so I think, just absolutely do it.
There are a lot of videos on YouTube as to
what equipment you need and how to start it, so
(09:22):
that's first, and don't worry about if you're going to
have one hundred thousand listeners or ten. I think that
the fact that you want to do this is it
will help you. First of all, It'll help you know
that you're doing something good for other people and also
for yourself. It's a form of therapy as well, like
speaking and just letting things out and helping other people
and knowing that you're doing something good in the world.
(09:44):
And if you feel that that's part of your mission,
I think you should definitely do it and it'll help
you heal as well. At the same time, I love
my podcast you guys, and these types of messages like
you saying that it helps you and inspires you. It
just keeps me like so motivated, So I say do it.
And the amount of listeners do not matter. It's the
fact that you are bringing out a message to the world,
(10:07):
and little by little the word of mouth is very strong.
So I will listen to it. Okay, if you started up,
and I think you should. Okay, thank you guys so
much for leaving your voicemails. I really hope I helped
put things into perspective for all of you. Yes and
Speak Pipe dot Com, Slash, Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts. Okay,
(10:28):
looking forward to hearing from you, besito. This is a
production of iHeartRadio and the Micauldura podcast Network. Follow us
on Instagram at Michael Doura Podcasts, then follow me Cheeky's
That's c h I q U I S for more
(10:49):
podcasts from iHeart Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, and check us
out on YouTube.
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
(00:40):
from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave
your question at the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Hi, Cheeky's, how are you beautiful? My name is Jasmine
and I want to ask you a question regarding some
free time for yourself. The reason why I ask you
this question and it's because I do know that you
are a second mother to your siblings and at a
very young age, you were hell responsible for them. I'm
twenty nine and I need a breather that I just
(01:11):
I love my children, I love spending time with them.
I would be nothing without them, but sometimes I just
want some me time. Is there any advice you could
give on how to find some time for yourself. Are
you even able to get some time for yourself? That's
my question.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Oh my goodness, thank you for your question. Look, it
definitely is possible, and it should be a priority in
your life. A lot of women feel like once they
become a mother, their life has changed forever, which yes,
it has changed, and they feel like selfish and guilty
to find time for themselves. And that's absolutely incorrect. I mean, obviously,
(01:52):
it's all about balance. Even when I was raising my siblings,
Johnny was eleven Jenniica was fifteen, they did need to
take them to school and everything. I did my best
to spend as much time as I could with them,
but I would make it a point to get my
neils done, to go out with my friends. And it's
all about finding that balance so that I don't eventually
(02:14):
resent them. I didn't want to ever resent them or
feel like I was missing out on something because I
was taking care of them. I loved taking care of them.
I love my siblings. I love to see them growing
up now and like, oh, you know, like I had
something to do with that. But I also took the
time to take care of my heart. So it's definitely possible,
and I think maybe just waking up a little bit earlier,
if possible, and spending some time by yourself, journaling, praying,
(02:35):
something that's just going to keep you aligned, and also
asking someone I don't know if you're single, if you're
a single mother, but having someone help you with the
kids for a couple of hours where you can just
go on a walk, go get your nails and get
your hair done, Like, don't forget about yourself. Because as
beautiful and as much of a blessing that children are,
they're going to grow up one day and Manasuq, like,
(02:59):
you have to find that balance. It's absolutely imperative. So Jasmine,
I hope that that you can just take that step.
It's just deciding and doing it, and it's okay. They're
not gonna hate you. They're still gonna love you. Your
kids are gonna love you. Don't feel guilty and think that,
oh la, no, this is also your life and your
life has not stopped because you had children. Now let's
(03:21):
hear from Terrese.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
My name is dere Sah. But for anything, I want
to say, I appreciate you for being vulnerable and opening
up this space for your fan base and boss Bace
really means a lot to us who follow you and
your family. My question of advice for you is what
can I do to overcome this fear and feeling of
guilt to claim justice for myself. I'm twenty six and
within the last five years, I've been going through the
heights and those of reliving my past of childhood sexual
(03:45):
abuse from a couple family members and other people. I
only tell my family of two though, who were close
to me. It wasn't just physical and it's just the past.
This is something that took away in my childhood, innocence,
my peace of mind. Sometimes you didn't feel like my soul.
I suffer from PTSD daily. I no longer ask God why,
but instead how do I transform this pain into power?
Opening up about this has changed my life for the better.
(04:06):
Talking about sensitive and unspeakable subjects, like some may say
the taboo, is what I found is healing not only
for me, but for so many men and women out
there who have and are currently living my experience. But
that being said, I'm going through the dilemma of pressing
charges on one of my abusers. I'm still within the
statue of limitations in my state. I'm just not sure
if I'm going to go.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Through with it, but I'm running out of time. I
know by doing this, I will mix the pot with
a lot of my family members who already don't have
my back anyways, but I know this will be an
eye opener for many of them who have gone through
similar experiences and it was just shoved under the rug
by the family. Thank you for listening and sharing if
it makes it on the podcast. I'm a huge fan.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
I listen to every episode that will meet you kick
much love from a Bossbeache.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
OHI Gileena, Teresa, thank you. See this is how you
guys know I don't listen to these questions prior is
because I said Teresa and her name is Teres actually
pronounces it, so just so you guys know. Okay, anyways, ah,
that is some I feel you. First of all, you're
so insightful, You're so intelligent. Like I was listening to you,
I'm like, wow, Look, I'm proud of you for wanting
(05:12):
and hopefully going through with pressing charges because I know
that that's not easy. I had to do that. I
was very afraid and it still hurts me sometimes because
my abuser was my father and it was just such
a weird moment and I did lose a lot of family.
But look, if those people have already turned their back
(05:33):
on you, ohsa bye, you know what I mean, Like,
you don't need those people in your life. If they
don't believe you, if they're not going to support you,
then you don't need those people in your life. And
if they get upset because you press charges a yaya
yos like this is something you're doing for yourself, not
only for yourself, and this is where it changed for me.
I'm also doing it for future generations. I have to
(05:55):
defend myself. I have to show and that's how you
have to see it, like, wait, this happened to me,
and I have the opportunity of getting justice for not
only myself, but for the little girls that are watching
me that God forbid have gone or are gonna go
or are going through the same thing. And they see
you and say, wow, she did it. Like we have
(06:16):
that responsibility as women to use our voice to say, hey,
this happened, because that's the only way we're gonna be
able to stop this, hopefully, is by talking about it,
by doing things like this and pressing charges, so I
applaud you for that. I applaud you for that first
of all. Now here's the thing. I am a huge
advocate for therapy. That's what has helped me. So I
(06:38):
would highly recommend for you to get therapy, a life coach,
to read books, read my book. I don't know if
you've read my book Forgiveness, forgiving, really forgiving and not
holding resentment towards these people. Yes, they hurt you. Forgiving
doesn't mean you're excusing what they did. It's letting it
go and leaving it in God's hands. That's what it means.
It's a gift for yourself. It gives you the wings
(07:00):
to fly into sore. And I don't know if maybe
you're holding resentment, and I don't blame you if you do,
but really just trying to just forgive, not forget, just
forgive and say you know what, Only God knows why
this happened to me, And I'm going to use this
as strength to help other people. And once you remove
it from yourself and you focus it on other people,
you feel better about the situation. I hope that makes sense.
(07:24):
But there is that thank you, and I'm sending you
a big big kiss in La Forente. Okay, let's hear
from Sanya Chiky's I love you.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
I just wanted to get some advice from you. For
a while, I have been really determined to start my
own podcast, so I just wanted to know if you
had any advice, any ideas, anything, even the smallest thing
would really help. I'm kind, I'm a shy person, so
just me even trying to start this up is a
(08:04):
really big step for me, and it's me coming out
of my show. I just feel like I have a
lot to say when it comes to dealing with mental
illness and women like me who deal with it every
day in relationships and friendships and family issues and anything.
You know, I've been through it all. Your podcast, too,
is one of the many ones that inspire me every day.
And then I listen to you and I'm just like, Wow,
(08:25):
she always knows what to say. It's just a too
shout out to overcome for podcast, Jennico Lopez, I just
really love that you guys are doing your thing, and
it's really inspiring to me, and I definitely want to
try it. I know I might not get a lot
of listeners like you guys better if I can just
make somebody's day or put a smile on somebody's face
with my words and my advice, it will all have
(08:45):
them worth it. And I just want to say thank
you for being the queen of us boss Speed. You know,
we got to stick together, so yeah, anything would be
really helpful. And just keep it up because you really
really make a difference in people's lives, even if you
don't know it.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Thank you, girl. You just made me feel so happy.
You're so cute. Thank you. Well. I think it's amazing
that you want to start your podcast, and I think
you should just do it. You know you guys, I
always say this. I'm like, I don't like to live
with the what if, so I think, just absolutely do it.
There are a lot of videos on YouTube as to
what equipment you need and how to start it, so
(09:22):
that's first, and don't worry about if you're going to
have one hundred thousand listeners or ten. I think that
the fact that you want to do this is it
will help you. First of all, It'll help you know
that you're doing something good for other people and also
for yourself. It's a form of therapy as well, like
speaking and just letting things out and helping other people
and knowing that you're doing something good in the world.
(09:44):
And if you feel that that's part of your mission,
I think you should definitely do it and it'll help
you heal as well. At the same time, I love
my podcast you guys, and these types of messages like
you saying that it helps you and inspires you. It
just keeps me like so motivated, So I say do it.
And the amount of listeners do not matter. It's the
fact that you are bringing out a message to the world,
(10:07):
and little by little the word of mouth is very strong.
So I will listen to it. Okay, if you started up,
and I think you should. Okay, thank you guys so
much for leaving your voicemails. I really hope I helped
put things into perspective for all of you. Yes and
Speak Pipe dot Com, Slash, Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts. Okay,
(10:28):
looking forward to hearing from you, besito. This is a
production of iHeartRadio and the Micauldura podcast Network. Follow us
on Instagram at Michael Doura Podcasts, then follow me Cheeky's
That's c h I q U I S for more
(10:49):
podcasts from iHeart Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, and check us
out on YouTube.
Host
Chiquis
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