Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your check book or how to start a business,
whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
(00:40):
from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
a qualified professional. All right, Now, go ahead and leave
your question. At the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Man, we want in Californiando and Mamal Cantaxican, Bye.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
I love you, Naria Quelinda Saloxicnkan tam Canta is the
the Caja uadro jota Zo Stepan is okaynos I was
(01:38):
just basically telling NaIO you guys, she's from Mexicali, from
Baja California, and she was just saying that my mom
loved it out there, that when am I going to
do a concert, When am I going to have a concert,
And my mom loved to also eat Chinese food out there,
so I was just telling her that I love MEXICALI
and I haven't been in a while, and I haven't
had a concert out there, but I'm hoping that I
will soon so that her and I can be friends.
She also wants to be my friend, so I said, yes,
we can be friends and have some Chinese food together.
(02:02):
So that was her question. Nad okay out almost with
Gabby a little English. There you go, Gabby, let's hear
from you.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Him, my love, I have a question for you. How
do you stay motivated to not give up on the
things that you're doing. I am a full time student,
I work full time. I am living the Senora life
right now, and I feel like I don't have time
for anything. I want to come home. I want to
come home and lay down in bed, watch TV, take
(02:34):
a nap, but I don't have time for any of that.
Like I have to wake up, go to work, come home,
feed my man, clean up a little bit, try to
do homework. And it's just it's so much that I'm
just about ready to give up, and I don't want
to because I am almost done. I've been in school
for about five years. I'm just starting to stress out
(02:56):
about money.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
And it's just a lot.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
I'm just tired and stressing out about what the future
is because I don't know what it is. So any
advice would be greatly appreciated. Love you well, Gabby.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
I get it. I completely understand. I have those days
when I feel overwhelmed. Today's one of them. So I
get it. I understand completely. And you have a lot
on your plate. You have a lot, you have your man,
you know the whole Signora life. You're working full time,
you're going to school. I honestly round applause for you,
(03:37):
grow because that's a lot, So you should be proud
of yourself. First of all. I think the most important thing,
and I'm talking to both of us right now, is
knowing that we have a plan. Life without a plan
is no life. So I think it's creating a plan
and knowing what my future goal is, my long term goal.
(03:58):
Right now it's yes, it's a lot, but it's temporary.
You're going to school. Then you're gonna be done with
school and you're gonna have some time to breathe. But
right now you're sacrificing a lot of things in order
to obtain what's coming. And that's always frustrating, and I
get that, but I think also if you really put
(04:19):
everything to I mean, I'm assuming you have the weekends,
maybe a Sunday off, I hope, where you could just
look forward to that and say, Okay, I'm gonna work
my ass off until Sunday, and on Sunday, I'm not
doing anything that has to do with work with school.
My man is going to cater to me. Talk to
your man and have him cook for you. It's a balance,
It's okay, or you guys just order in like you
do need that time and you need to find that
(04:41):
one day or those few hours where you could just
breathe and just be gabby. But keep your eyes on
the light at the end of the tunnel, because it's there.
You just have to know, Okay, this is temporary, this
is just right now because I'm working towards my future,
because I want a better future for myself from my man,
you know what I mean. Like it's reminding yourself, reminding
(05:03):
ourselves that we have a goal and that we're on
a mission here on earth, and that God has us
here for a reason. And once you just realize that,
you could just shake it off and just say you
know why. It's okay. I'm grateful. I am grateful that
I have a job. I am grateful that I get
to go to school. I'm grateful that I have a
man that loves me. It's just turning all that negativity
that we're feeling into something positive. When you step back
(05:24):
and say, wow, I have something to look forward to.
I'm grateful.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
You know.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
It sounds like super simple, but I mean it takes practice.
So that's what I recommend and suggest because I feel you.
I get it, and you do have a lot going on,
but you should be very proud of yourself. That's amazing.
You're doing something with your life. You're not just sitting there.
Imagine just sitting there having nothing to do. Girl, You're
doing the damn thing, So be proud of yourself. Our
(05:52):
next question comes from medium.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Hi chikiuz I have a question to ask. I have
been going through time with my mom because unfortunately my
mom thinks that I slept with her boyfriend, her ex boyfriend,
and it's been really hard for me because every relationship
I get into, she lets my new partner know what
(06:15):
happened when it's not true. You know, obviously I didn't
do it. She's managed herself to actually ruin my relationships
because she always lets them know bad things about me
instead of getting the support from her, you know, because
she's my mother, she's just pushing me away. And to
(06:36):
be honest with you, I don't even know how to
what to do. If you could please give me an advice,
I would really appreciate it. Thank you. Have a blast night.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Oh my goodness, medium ooh, I know, I get you,
m It's tough, sounds a little toxic, to be honest,
and this is just my opinion, but I feel that
your mom is just very unhappy with herself. Again, just
my opinion and no offense, because that's your mom, and
(07:07):
I get it. You know. We can say whatever we
want about our moms, but anyone else says something, it's like,
hold up. So I understand that I don't want to
judge your mother at all. I don't think it's healthy though.
It's not healthy at all that you're feeling like this
and that she's doing that. It's not healthy for her,
it's not healthy for you. The fact that she's feeling
all of these things like she needs to heal that.
I don't know if she's upset because her ex boyfriend
(07:28):
that she says that you slept with left her. I
don't know. I wish I knew a little bit more.
But I always tell you guys this because yes, we
have to respect and honor our parents, absolutely, one hundred percent.
But if you find that your mother is doing more
harm in your life than good, then I feel like
it's okay for you to step back a little bit.
I think that when someone loses something, that's when they
(07:53):
appreciate it a little bit more. And maybe you stepping
back will also make your mom realize, like, whoa, maybe
my actions and what have been doing isn't correct. I
don't know if you've already explained this to her and
expressed your feelings to her, but I think that's important.
I think you absolutely should. I always say write a
letter because sometimes when you're having a conversation, you forget
(08:13):
things or the other person speaks and you can't express
yourself completely. So writing a letter and stating like, these
are my feelings and I'm going to step back a
little bit.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
Mom.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I love you, but this is causing me a lot
of harm and the fact that you think this about
me breaks my heart. So we need to either go
to therapy together, or you need to go to therapy.
I do too, but like, this isn't healthy for me.
And if you don't feel like bringing your new boyfriend
around your mom, that's okay too. You shouldn't at this point.
I wouldn't. I'd be like, h hold up, I'm not
trying to like go through another relationship and my mom
(08:42):
ruining it for me. Like, it's okay for you not
to bring these guys around to her until you guys
heal this. But this is something that she also has
to be aware of and also has to be willing
to heal, because this is no way to live for
her or for yourself. So I think that you should
write her letter and express it and just say, Mom,
I love you, I'm here for you, but I think
I need to step back a little bit, And that's okay.
(09:03):
That's creating a healthy boundary, always keeping in mind you
have to honor and respect her absolutely, but you also
have the right to express your feelings and you also
have the right to live your life the way that
you like. And if that means stepping away for a
little bit, that is okay, sometimes even necessary, babes. So
(09:24):
I'm really hoping things get better for you and your mom.
I really really hope. So because that is heavy. That's
some heavy shit, trust I know, and it sucks, especially
when it's not true. It's like, oh, so I feel you, Miriam,
I feel you. I'm sending you a big ass hug, girl,
big hug. Okay, guys, So, our next question comes from
(09:44):
Andrea hi ji Ki's.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
I just wanted to say that you inspire me every
day to be the best version of myself. I have
a lot in common with you. I too, am the
oldest of my family. I have three younger sisters and
one brother, and I wanted to ask you what kind
of advice you can give me to speak to my
little sister who isn't living her best life. Is it
(10:10):
financially stable and she doesn't want to work or have
the same work ethic as the rest of us. We
were all raised to be hard working individuals. I'm so
not sure how to talk to her to motivate her
without her getting defensive. So anything you can give me
I'd love to hear. I love you and you are
(10:33):
one of my favorite artists. I love your mom and
your entire family, and I just wish you the best
in your new engagement. Bye.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Thank you, Andrea, thank you for wishing me the best
and for listening to my podcast. And I love you too.
I love you too. And you know, I don't know
if you guys know most of you should, I hope.
But I raise my siblings and Johnny the youngest, I'm
the oldest, and he's the youngest, still lives with me.
He's going to be twenty three, So I totally get it.
(11:02):
There was a time there where I was a little worried.
I was like, oh my gosh, what am I going
to do? Like it was exactly the same thing. The
older ones have more responsibility, like we had no other
choice but to figure out how we're going to make money,
and then the younger ones, it just it's different. It
took me a while to understand that, and it took
me a while to figure out how to speak to
him and to just I pushed him. I was like, well, you,
(11:24):
if you're going to live in this house, I've seen
that's the thing. Your sister doesn't live with you, so
it's a little different. But for me, it was like,
if you're going to live in this house and you
want to be a singer. Well, I need you to
work out every day, I need you to eat better,
I need you to go to a school like I
was very like that. You know, obviously, I'm sure your
sister doesn't live with you, so it's a little different.
But it's hard because everyone does things at their own pace,
(11:46):
and things were different for us. Things were very different,
especially for the older ones. It's just our parents are
always harder on us, like, way more strict, and we're
living in a different time where I'm sorry, but I
see a lot of laziness happening, Like a lot of
people don't necessarily want to work or feel the need
(12:07):
or I don't know, it's just some stuff that I'm like,
oh shit, like it's worrisome. So I get that. I
think more than anything, you have to be okay with
letting her be defensive. She's gonna be pissed, she's gonna
get mad if she's not gonna accept it, and you
have to be okay with that. Hopefully she's receptive. But
there's that chance where you're saying I'm afraid of her
being defensive, Well f that, who cares as long as
(12:29):
you're telling her respectfully, not being disrespectful, but telling her. Look, look,
you need to get your shit together, babe, Like you
need to go to school. You need to get a job.
I don't know, go work at Starbucks wherever. But you
need to have some type of income. You need to
have some type of responsibility. And it's better for you
to tell her and leave that little seed. Plant that
little seed. So when she's alone, even though she'll get pissed,
(12:51):
but when she's alone, she's gonna hear it. At least
she's gonna know. Damn, my sister told me. So, don't
worry about her getting upset. Let her get mad, as
long as you know you're doing the right thing. So
I don't know, I don't know if she does she
have responsibilities. Does she pay rent? Maybe it's time for
her to pay a little bit of rent. I don't know,
things like that, pay your own phone bill, your own car,
or your own insurance. I give her some type of
(13:11):
responsibility where she has no other choice but to say
I need to figure out how I'm gonna make money.
But don't be scared to tell her the truth. Let
her get mad. You're gonna feel good being honest versus
just saying oh, mickay, yeah, and I didn't say anything
because I didn't want her to get upset and then
you feel worse later. Say the truth straight up. Boom
here it is. But there has to be some type
(13:33):
of responsibility in my opinion, I don't know. I wish
I had a little bit more information, but that is
my advice. With that being said, thank you to Nadia, Gabby,
Miriam and Andrea for contributing to this week's episode of
Dear Cheeky's. I love listening to your questions every week
and I truly do my best to give you my
very best advice. I feel like we're building a little
(13:54):
community of support here and that's all things to you, guys,
so thank you so so much. We'll be back next
week with a new episode and a new batch of questions,
so stay tuned for that, and if you want to
leave your questions for me, head over to speakpipe dot
com slash Cheekys and Chill podcast. That is Speakpipe dot
Com slash Cheekys and Chill podcast. This is a production
(14:18):
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