February 17, 2023 • 39 mins
This week Rachel Zoe is doing a full episode of listener questions. She is covering ALL the topics and nothing is off limits.
Sponsors:
Curateur- CURATEUR is a shopping community curated by global fashion authority Rachel Zoe. Sign up for a Seasonal Membership and use code SPRING25, you'll get it the brand new curation for only $100!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hi. Everyone, I'm Rachel Zoe and you're listening to Climbing
in Heels. The show is all about celebrating extraordinary superwoman
who will be sharing their most incredible journeys to the top,
all while staying glamorous. Today we're doing a full episode
of Ask Rachel Questions. Instead of interviewing a guest about
their climb to the top, I'm going to answer your
(00:29):
questions about anything and everything. Here to help is my
producer and confidant and everything, Mary Elizabeth. And I'm so
excited to open up and spill my secrets a little more.
So let's get started. Hi, everybody, it is Mary Elizabeth.
I'm here with Rachel Zoe. Mary Elizabeth and I have
(00:52):
just celebrated our tenure anniversary. That's right. You know those
people that come into your life that you hold on
to for dear life. Well, Mary Elizabeth is one of
those people. Also known as Emmy. That's right because when
my kids were little, they couldn't see Mary Elizabeth, so
they call her Emmy. So if you ever hear me
referring to oh, Emmy, and then Emmy said, this is Emmy,
(01:14):
Mary Elizabeth. People know that I started as Rachel's assistant,
but I like to say that I was Skyler Roman's
executive assistant and I wanted to get business cards made.
Roger and I actually laughed about that once, that I
was going to get real business cards that said Skyler
Burman's executive assistant. I still am to be fair as
Salim if you were to call me and be like, hey,
(01:35):
these sneakers, no fun, hundred person. Okay. So in this
episode of Climbing in Heels, we have sourced a bunch
of ask Rachel questions. So these questions have come through
either Rachel's Instagram personally or our show Instagram, and we
are not holding back in terms of categories. We're going
to jump around to a bunch of different topics. I'm
a little scared, don't be scared. A little scared. I
(01:56):
feel like you're setting me up to like th room,
like curve bowls. Not at all you can handle all
of this. But I love that these resonates so much
with you. Guys keep sending me your questions because I
really the feeling like I'm talking directly to you and
having conversations with you exactly. So in lieu of the
Valentine's Day holiday we had this week and your wedding anniversary.
(02:19):
I thought we would kick it off with a question
that you get a lot all the time in person,
on social in interviews, and that is what are your
biggest tips for having a lasting marriage slash relationship? There's
so many, honestly, but I'll try and keep it short.
I would say that the fact that robturn I've been
(02:39):
together for thirty one years and married for twenty five,
we do recognize that's pretty unheard of these days. I
have a handful of friends that have beautiful, happy marriages,
very long lasting, but it's a very hard thing. And
I think the one thing I always say is that
I think the misconception about relationships in marriage is that
(03:00):
often hearing people say marriage takes so much work, and
I genuinely think that the thing is and like, no
marriage is perfect, no matter what Instagram says, but marriage
should really be like the easiest thing in your life.
And I think that's the kind of point that everyone's missing.
Marriage should be the thing where like your other half
(03:22):
is the person that you come home and be safe with,
the person that you can talk to or not talk to,
the person that you can yell at if you need
to and they know you don't mean it. The person
that when you're sobbing there next to you and know
they may not know what to say, but like you
kind of feel like they know what to say. I
think Roger and I there's a big part of our relationship,
(03:42):
especially now between like working, kids and stuff. We can
be home all night together and like be in other
parts of the house and like I'll be on the
phone with friends and my mom or whatever, and I
just or just need to return one hundred emails and
he wants to watch, like, you know, some crime drama
and like that's fine. And So I think the key
to success really number one, first and foremost trust. If
(04:05):
you don't have that, nothing works, at least for me,
that's something that can't be repaired. And I would say
that in thirty one years, there has not been a
day where I questioned the trust that I have for Roger.
So I think that is number one. Number two. Roger
once said this, and it really stuck with me. We
really root for each other, you know, we really are
playing for the same team. We don't compete, we want
(04:27):
each other to win. He has never held me back
in my career or anything else. If I want to
go out with my girlfriends, he pushes me out the
door because he wants me to have fun. I think
those are really big keys to success. I think anytime
a spouse is holding someone back, that's not a good thing, right.
And I think you have to have your own life,
(04:48):
you know, you have to have your own story going on,
and then your story together. You know, those are like
some of it. And don't forget separate bathrooms. Okay, see,
separate bathrooms is really underrated. And I think that for me, Oh,
I'm pretty sure I could move to the smallest house
I can ever imagine, as long as I have a
(05:08):
separate bathroom from Roger, because I just think that's the
beginning of the end. Just do Okay. How do you
keep a positive mindset and stay focused on your dreams.
It's a great question and a very challenging one because
I would say that there are people very close to me,
Roger being one of them, that might call me negative.
(05:30):
Sometimes I just call myself a realist, and I think
that I play games with myself. I try to sort
of expect the worst so that I'm not disappointed. It
has really served me really works for me. I think
if you only think about the good things that are
going to happen, then at least for me, you get
really let down. And I think it makes the sort
(05:51):
of feeling of failure worse. But I would say that
the key for me and staying positive and passionate and
moving forward is the people I surround myself with. I
have the most extraordinary team, and when I'm feeling shitty,
they'll lift me up. And I think it's like having
that best group of girlfriends that's like your extended family,
(06:13):
and that's the team I have. And you know, and
I think Roger too, and he doesn't always know the
right thing to say. Sometimes I'll think he's saying the
right thing, and it actually makes it worse because he's
just a dude. But I would say that staying positive
you have to, like I don't know, I have to
get better at sort of looking at what I have done.
And I also think that there's incredible people in the
industry that really are very kind with me and very
(06:36):
generous and very gracious and very thankful and appreciative and
that and that those moments where they like thank me
for inspiring them or motivating or because of me, they
did this or whatever. Those things actually make you want
to keep doing them because you want to keep having
that impact on people, right, you know, I think you're
a very also positive version of yourself when you're inspired
(06:59):
by something, when you're excited and you come back from
Paris Fashion Week, or when you like there is a
new sort of fire in you that is yes, there,
but not always there. No, no, And I think it's that,
you know, I always compare it to that Sarah Jessica
moment right like, it's that moment when she got to
Paris and she walks around in that big tool gallon
(07:21):
or skirt like twirling around like a kid in a
candy store. And I think, you know, yes, I think
when I'm reminded of what I love the most, you know,
I get excited, I like light up, I do, and
you stay positive. I do as opposed to your every
day realist. Yes, mindset, that realist, that realist. But I
would not ever describe you as someone with your glass
(07:42):
like half empty. No you're not like that. No, yeah,
you're like, this is a beautiful glass. I don't want
it to knock over. It's a nice glass. And I
wanted to break. Don't spill, don't break, don't spill, good Lord,
don't spell. Okay. Next question, which I am excited for
you to answer, how do you keep your boys from
(08:02):
becoming spoiled? And are there items that you have refused
to buy them and what are they? Okay, that's a
really good question and one that I never really had
to deal with. Then tell right now, because my son
is in sixth grade, and in sixth grade there's things
you're made aware of that you didn't really care about
(08:23):
until now, and it's like, all of a sudden, you
become aware of other possessions that people might have in
labels and things. And I'm just like, you know, I
definitely have spent the last eleven almost twelve years working
tirelessly to keep my children unspoiled, spoiled with love almost
(08:44):
to a fault, like I like overlove my kids. I
don't even know if that's possible, but I do. The
challenge is real because we live in a place where
there are tons of spoiled children everywhere. But I really
like to say that it's not where you grow up,
it's how you parent. And I am very loud and
very clear when I hear comments about whether it's and
(09:10):
I've had a new electronic, a video game, a new
pair of sneakers that cost more than anything Roger's ever
bought for himself, and I have to check the kids
real quick. I want to say kids. I don't want
to say Kaius because he's the most unspoiled child who
asks for nothing except like a or like action figure
or something that not action figure, but like you know,
one of those things he could just hold, or like
(09:32):
more books. Yeah, yeah, Kaius is not doesn't really get
driven by material and Skylar, I think, is very entrepreneurial
in his spirit. He is ready to start businesses, He's
ready to make money. He loves cars and knows every
model in year. He's obsessed, which I respect because I
(09:54):
think it's like a cool thing to take interest in, right, Like,
so I like that, But I am very mindful of
what I say no to, and I say no to
a lot. And I think that God doesn't know what
things cost or what things are, and he'll just say, oh,
you know so and so I got these. I love them,
like blah blah blah. I'm like, that's great. You have
(10:15):
a birthday coming up. Let's talk about it. Okay, let's
look at your grades. Okay, let's look at you know
so I do. I will say this, Roger and I
said to both of our children a couple of years ago, Okay,
there's things that we do as your parents, which is
most everything. There's a few jobs that you have as children. Right.
You must be empathetic, you must be kind, and you
(10:37):
must do your best in school. And if you do
those things, your life is going to go well. If
you don't do those things, everything goes away. So and
it's worked, Honestly, it's really worked. And they have to
keep up their end and we keep up our end.
But I would say Roger and I keep a very
very tight rain on what is given and what it's
(11:01):
for and why, and they have to earn it. And
if you know, the behavior changes. If I hear Braddy's statements,
kind of lose my mind a little. Yeah, I have
to almost like a moment, it's a trigger, like a trigger,
And then I show them a video from Save the
Children or Children's Hospital or seam Jude or honestly like
baby to baby videos and it actually, I have to
(11:22):
tell you, it really helps, right, because sometimes I think
kids just need to be checked and they need to
see what the world that isn't around them in their
immediate radius. Is it looks like Yes, and I think
it's important. Is there anything you can remember refusing to
buy them? Yes, but most recently a pair of off
(11:43):
white sneakers that's Skyl wanted for Christmas. They were It's
like it was insane. It was like an off white.
It's like I want to say, it's an Air Jordan
retro row number something, off white something. Because now Skyler's
(12:04):
a collectors right, And he said, Mom, you collect things.
I said, I've worked my your life to collect things
and you can too, I mean can you will be
app and I'll be honest with you. That's the challenge
is sort of like I understand, and I appreciate that
he appreciates. I love that he appreciates beautiful things and
(12:27):
has a desire and he treats them like goal like
things that he has that are meaningful. They're in like
class cases and he doesn't touch them, and like, you know,
so I appreciate it. But he's eleven. He's your son, yes,
through and through. Yes he is he is, and I
think he'll do exactly what I did. I think he'll
take every dollar that he has that he earns, and
(12:50):
you know, at fourteen or fifteen, he will probably spend
it on one thing, which is what I did, and
I still have it. Really ye oh my gosh, that's
sixteen all my money, every dollar, every dollar and one thing.
I love that. Okay, self care wise, do you have
actual downtime? And when you do, what does it look like?
(13:12):
I don't know, Mary Elizabeth, what does my self care
downtime look like? Well, it doesn't happen often, we all
know that, but occasionally, like very occasionally, you'll say a
rope day on a Monday, or like Roger took the
kids out, I had two hours alone. Yes, so I
think people might think that when you're you have those
two hours, you're like going to a spa or going
(13:36):
or whatever. So what in your like, how can you
paint the picture of how you recharge? Okay, So on
a Sunday morning, if Roger takes the kids to taekwondo
and I have a window of nine to eleven, I
will probably clean so I can function and then take
probably a really long hot shower. When I say really long,
like fifteen minutes rather than two, right, you know, maybe
(13:58):
put on like amount ask or you know, something like that,
like a like a fifteen minute college a mask on.
I don't know, and probably just like not rush and
just like being like my really luxurious bathrobe, you know,
really comfortable, and like make phone calls to friends that
I can't speak to during the e and any mean,
(14:19):
and just catch up. And that's like relaxing for me.
You know, like not rushing to go somewhere is relaxing
for me, Like not having to like turning the grind off. Yeah,
that's honestly, like really the most relaxing thing for me.
If someone was like, you don't have a commitment. You
don't have to like do anything right now, right, So
(14:40):
that's hard for me to register, right, no one has
to be here at this time, right, Like no one's
coming out. You don't have a meeting, and of a call,
you don't you don't have asume me of a podcast.
You know. It's like yes, correct, like I'm literally alone
for two hours. You're also a big outside person, I
think I am. When you're like chilling and need to relax,
you sit outside a lot. I do because I really
(15:01):
like fresh air, right, Yeah, I really like fresh air.
And I also think, like coming from the East Coast
of being a New Yorker and then moving here, even
though it was so long ago, I don't ever take
it for granite that it's just so beautiful here, and
like just walking up and down my street, you know,
and took like an hour and a half walk last
week and it was just like, you know, it's just
(15:21):
like a gorgeous day, you know. I don't know. I
love that. That's great, but nothing nothing like extravagant, no,
I don't. Yeah, even just going to that country Martin,
walking around by myself for like an hour, it's just lovely.
It's all you need, but it really is. I'm pretty
long maintenance like that. Okay. Do you sleep with your
(15:45):
makeup on? Because your eye makeup always looks perfect even
in the morning. I'm dead, Okay, So full disclosure. I'm sorry,
Barbara Storm, I'm sorry, Nurse Jamie, I'm sorry, i'van, I'm
sorry to all the people that helped make my skin.
Take care of your take care of my skin. I
do sleep with my eye makeup on probably ninety percent
(16:09):
of the time. Not my face makeup, not my skin.
I clean my skin before. Yeah, I have to have
had way too much champagne to sleep with my face
makeup on, Like I have to not want to deal. Yeah. Yeah,
but I don't like that feeling. I like, actually feel
like my poores clogging if I sleep with makeup on. Yeah, gross,
and it gets on her pillet Like that's just gross. Yeah,
(16:31):
it's not the best. So you do admit to sleeping
with your eye? I do, Okay, I can't lie about it.
Only just because we see you in the morning on
your Instagram. Yeah it's six am. Everyone's like, you're not
sleeping you have makeup on, and I'm like, no, I
actually just slept with it. Yeah. By the way, my
mother does too. Except my mother, I think sleeps with
like a full face. I love it. It's very like
(16:52):
old school. It is. It's very like didn't anyone see
like marvelous miss maisl she got up in the net? Yeah,
it's kind of you. Okay. What is the number one
piece of fashion advice for people with a very limited budget? Oh?
I you know, I think that people in limited budgets
(17:13):
actually have the best style most of the time because
you're forced to be way more creative. Way more resourceful.
I my whole twenties, my whole like college into my
probably late twenties, before I started making actual money that
I could like buy my own things. You know, I
just went thrift store, thrist store, thrist store, and I
found pieces I still have going strong today. You know,
(17:36):
I think that you especially now because of much resale
of amazing things, you can really get treasures pretty much anywhere.
And I have to say, like I'm a huge advocate
for Zara and you know a lot of the other
amazing like sort of trend stores because they're very affordable,
(17:59):
especially when they're on sale. You could get like treasures
for like twenty dollars and those pieces like you can
just mix and match them a million ways. So I
don't think budget has to matter that much. It's obviously
easier when you have a big budget, of course, But
I just find sometimes people with the most money of
the worst taste. You know why is that? That's because
because they can buy anything right, so you don't have
(18:21):
to think about it. It's easier. You could say, oh,
I want this thing that's however much money, and I
buy that. You don't even think about it. You just go, oh,
this is the new hit thing great like this is
the new hot bag. Okay, I'm buying it even if
it doesn't work on you. You know, you don't think
about it, whereas if you're on a type budget or
limited budget, then you have to think about every piece
and you have to love it and it has to
work for you. So I would say, just buy key
(18:44):
pieces that can be on rotation in your daily uniform
and then buy, like, put a little more money into
like a great bag or shoes that can make everything
look better. And I have to say, obviously depending on
where you live, but a great coat or a blazer,
you know, like a great like even like a Dunom
blaze or black leather blaze or even vegan leather blazer
(19:04):
doesn't matter, but like that can make everything better. Statement
jewelry that doesn't have to cost anything can just make
your outfit amazing. It's true. Add drama always. Okay, do
you have a nanny or help with your boys? I've
not had a nanny in five years. I just had
epic help when the kids were younger. And you're too
(19:26):
much of a control for am I allowed to plug you? Yeah?
I mean I was when I started with Rachel, majority
of the time was with the kids. Yeah, she's our
family assistant and savior. And you know, I think when
you have amazing people that work with you and your
family and then they move on, you know, because they're great,
and you move them into like big jobs in your
company and things like that, it's hard to replace. And
(19:49):
so what happened was I just never replaced her, and
so now I have an assistant who helps like drive
the kids places and they need to go pick up
from cool when I can and stuff like that. But really,
like I really like to do everything with the kids.
I know that's crazy, but like my days are numbered.
You know, Sky's almost twelve, right, Pigs is nine. I
(20:12):
got like three more years of this and then they're
going to be like bye, I am a very handsome mom.
I don't say that to try and like make other
moms that have help in nanny's because I don't judge anyone.
I just what happened to me was I would try
to hire a nanny. It did not work. It didn't
like their work ethic or they were always on their
(20:32):
phones or whatever it was, and I said, this is crazy.
This is actually just another person for me to manage. Ultimately,
my kids come home from school and they want to
be with me, and they want me to make them dinner,
and they want me to tuck them in, and they want,
you know, and like I go out and I do
events and all those things, but ultimately, like I'm down
to have babysitters or whatever. I just I decided over
(20:55):
the last few years that I didn't want another person
between me and my kids, right, And that's my personal choice.
And it might just be because I had my kids later.
I think if I had my kids in my twenties,
like my early thirties, I would need real help all
the time, or I just wouldn't have done my career
the way I did, right, because it's really hard to
(21:15):
do both. That's a good segue into a next question,
which is how was your postpartum with your kids and
what helped you to bounce back? Well, I think if
you mean postpartum, I did not, very fortunately, and I
didn't realize how fortunate I was at the time. I
did not have postpartum depression with either of my children,
(21:36):
which only over the last few years did I realize
how serious that is and how many friends of mine
suffered terribly from how many women, so many close friends
of mine did, and it's it's just really something that
I believe is not talked about enough. I was fortunate
that I didn't. I think with Sky, I was like
(21:59):
a torn you go, because I was such a workaholic
for my entire adult life, and all I knew was
how to work twenty four seven, so much so that I,
you know that I got like sick from you know,
I just got that started to like lose my mind.
But I think what happened was I was like, I'm
not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready.
And I remember going to the hospital and walking doing
(22:21):
the hospital tour with Roger, like when I was nine
months pregnant. You're supposed to do it way earlier. But
I think I waited really long and I looked at
Roger and I was like, I'm not doing this, and
he was like, what are you talking about? You want
of a C section? I'm like, nope, not doing this.
I'm like I'm scared and I'm not ready. He's like,
well it's too late, So like wait a second. I
think I was just paralyzed with love. Honestly, like I
(22:43):
think I just my year being whirled. Everything just flipped
upside down and backwards, and I couldn't get my head
out of my ass for a bet, like a bet,
like a real bit like And I went back to
work pretty quickly in the sense of like my team
was at the house every day and I was working
in blah blah blah, but like I could not figure
(23:03):
out how to like be Rachel Zoe and be the
mom I wanted to be. And I just for that
probably first year, I just was like, I don't want
to go anywhere, don't want to do anything. I don't
want to leave him. I actually didn't leave him. You
were in a love tornado. I was in a love tornado.
I really was. And I don't think I really left
him until he was like four, and I took him everywhere.
(23:24):
And when I had Caius, it was like I kind
of got it down, you know what I mean, Like
it was sort of like by the time I had Caius,
I sort of was like, Okay, you can actually leave
your children and they're going to be okay, and you're
going to be okay, right te Love is definitely not
my strong area of parenting. Admittedly, my kids were not
(23:48):
sleep trained, they were not anything trained. They were potty trains.
They were potty trained, but even that was probably late.
But they I'm not good at the like let them
cry it out, tough love is good for them. That
just didn't fly with me. So here we are. And
it's funny because Roger is not great at that either.
Now it's two softies. Yeah in this house. It's true.
(24:10):
It's it's really true. We suck. No, we do. Skyler
even Kaia's had a fever last summer and it was
crazy high and his ear was hurting and he's screaming.
Roger was sob bang. He couldn't bear it, like literally
couldn't bear it. I was like, how to you? Like,
how are you in the room? When I gave birthies
like I thought I was going to die anyway. I
think what happened was the first child, I was shook
(24:33):
and I couldn't like go. I had that crazy like
upside down mom feeling like I can't get my life together,
I can't do this, I can't do both things. How
am I going to figure this out? And the balance
and this? And then by the time I had sky
Akaia is Honestly, it was like I was so obsessed
with him, and he was such an easy child. He
was so easy, like this little, happy, little marsupial And
(24:57):
I remember, like literally ten days after after I had
Kaius going to a fitting with Jen Lawrence for the oscars. Yeah,
And I remember walking in and her being like, are
you okay? Are you still in pain? I'm like, kind of,
but I was good. I was. I was really ready
to get back in it because I understood that I
could turn around and go home after the fitting and
(25:18):
it was okay, and Kaius was napping and he didn't
know I was missing. And so I had a weird
postpartum experience in the sense of I really turned upside
down and backwards and couldn't figure out how to how
to do it. I think by the second one I
definitely had it figured out more. But honestly, like you
(25:38):
were with me, I that leaving the balance, that not
wanting to go to things, leaving more than you know
two nights in a week you're like, oh my god,
I missed this or missing something important. It's hard, yeah,
it is, but you really didn't take time off. I didn't, kayas,
I didn't came. Yeah, I just remember all your meetings
(25:59):
to the house or we moved them. The whole team
at the house all the time, and I would like
do things while I was like breastfeeding, and you know,
you just kind of it just seemed more normal right time,
I think, right, it wasn't as jarring. No. Yeah, but
I didn't. I didn't take a quote unquote maternity leave. No. No,
I don't remember what if he didn't. No, Okay, which
(26:23):
you should, by the way, yes, you very much, You
very much should, because you don't get that time back. Yeah, okay.
Next question, what are your tips to help busy moms
women who have a very packed life and schedule feel stylish.
I think you have to really think about what you
do in your life. I think you have to think
about where you're going and what you're doing most of
(26:45):
the time. I can't tell you how many moms I
see at school and workout clothes because they go from
drop off to workout, right, And it makes sense, But
there are such cute workout clothes and workout jackets and
workout sinkers and all that. So I think it's important
as women for us to feel cute. We have to
(27:07):
feel attractive in order to put ourselves out in a
positive way. But whatever that is, it's like it means
something different to everybody. Like one of my best friends,
we just said on the podcast jan Meyer ask her
how she feels happiest, She's going to tell you and
sweats and sinkers right right, But like girl dresses up,
(27:29):
girl wears a secret minie like in heels and looks amazing.
But like, ultimately, however you feel your best is how
you should really put the most into kind of your
wardrobe and your look. And I think it's important to
think about, Okay, this is what I do five out
of seven days, so this is what I need, and
I need like black you know, loungy pants that I
(27:52):
can kind of run around him but then go to
the gym if I need to, and then put on
a cute like you know, Kashmir hoodie sweatshirt. But I'm
going to put you know, cute slides on, you know,
good like you know, mules on my feet, like a
really cozy like faux fir mule to just like cute
her than if I was wearing a sninker, right, So
I think it's like making little small decisions like that.
(28:13):
But to be honest, I really think it's important to
put five minute makeup on, like beautiful with their natural
beauty and no makeup, but like a little concealer, a
lip stain, a little on your cheek. It never really
hurt anybody, and I think, yeah, feel better. You know.
Sometimes when I see them, they'll be like they'll cover
their faces and be like, don't look at me. I
(28:34):
don't have makeup on. So it's like, you know, and
then there's people that don't look like they have makeup on,
but they have five minute makeup, right. So that's the thing.
I think. It's like perfecting the art of whatever that
no makeup makeup is for you. No makeup makeup. I
love that. But listen, if you ask Jyneth Paltrow, she
would tell you you should not have makeup on. And
by the way, ninety percent of the time I see her,
(28:54):
she doesn't have makeup on and she looks beautiful. So
I think, if that's how you feel your best, then
don't wear makeup, right, you know what I mean. But like,
if you're going to walk around with a hand over
your face and say, oh my god, don't look at me,
I don't. I don't want to makeup on. Then spend
five minutes and put concealer on and put a little
lipstain on, and you'll feel like a new person. Yeah.
So I think the takeaway here is like, figure out
how to make your routine if you don't have a
(29:17):
lot of time, as efficient as possible, but like as
impactful us. What is your ten minute before you get
out the door in the morning look like right? And
what is it that makes you feel more confident to
walk around for more than like driving your child to
school and not getting out of the car. So what's
going to make you get out of the car right?
(29:39):
And it doesn't have to be a ball down in
heels by the way for you it is, but the
rest of us living on the earth, a little sequin
never hurt anyone, It's true, not even Harry Styles. This
is very relevant to an update in your daily routine.
Oh my god. And the question is do you exercise regularly?
(30:00):
Rachel Zoh, oh my god. Okay, So this is a
question I've been asked my entire life, and my entire
life I have said absolutely not. You've done a little
yoga here and there, I've done bouts of yoga here
and there, but it does not last long. And I
am looking for the short, impactful, shortcut. And I've recently
(30:23):
started in twenty twenty three Tracy Anderson, but sort of
the abridged version of Tracy Anderson because I don't have
two hours to do her incredible body changing, life changing workout.
I have done some Melissa would health flows over the
last few years and they're incredible, really, and you can
do them anywhere, which I think are amazing. And you know,
(30:44):
but I have to say my like Tracy has been
great and it's like painful, impactful and short enough that
I can be done and start my day and jump
in the shower and like get on with my day.
And it's been nice. And it's like, you know, you
go about your day feeling like you did something good. Right,
So that's good. So is that considered self care? Yes,
(31:04):
but it's painful. Does that mean it's self care? It's
not relaxing, yeah, but it's good for you, So I
think it does fall into the bucket of self care. Okay,
even though we'll still give you a break. We'll let
you watch Bird ten. Watched it like a million times.
I'm chucked though, Phoebe Denivers not coming back? Oh really, Schuck?
Is that breaking news? It is breaking news? No? All right,
(31:26):
well it's breaking news. It was on my social feed today,
I screamed out loud. That's very sad. Well it's like
no her, no wreckage, and what's happening? Why will they recover?
We will find out? Okay, I recover? Will you recover? Yeah?
Have you ever lost confidence in yourself every day? And
how did you build it back? How do you build
(31:48):
it back? I lose confidence in myself every day. And
I say that. I say that with truth and sarcasm.
I say that with you know, just being very honest.
I'm very human. I always think no one's showing up
for me. I always think I'm not going to get
the whatever it is. I don't expect things in life,
(32:10):
and I always set myself up for worse. As I said,
it has worked for me. Part of it's a game,
and part of it I really truly believe that. I
don't know. And listen, I think I work in an
industry industries that you know, there's always other people, there's
always competition, there's always more, there's always this, there's always
this one you know, there's always challenges in everything. And
(32:32):
I think it's funny because we were like, oh, you
make this look so easy, or of course you're going
to get this, or of course no. Like it's like
life doesn't work like that. And so I think I've
lived enough life where I keep it very real, and
I keep it very real with myself. I lose confidence
all the time. I mean, I think I get it
back with successes, right like with wins. And I will
(32:54):
be honest with you that since I've become a mother,
it doesn't affect me as much. Meaning my confidence or
lack thereof would kind of really govern my being before
I had children, and I'd be like, oh, I'm not
going to get this job. Oh I didn't do that.
That wasn't the best look, or why did do this
or whatever? You know, when I became a mom, I
think it's when you start to question or you feel
(33:15):
as confident. You look at those little faces and they
just are loving all over me, you know, and it's
kind of like I'm good, right, and then Kaisa look
at me and be like, there's not really a day
It's true that it's like they're happy, they're healthy, they're
lifting you up. They're telling you you're the best, and
like all of a sudden, you're like okay, like okay,
(33:36):
if you see that crown on mommy's head, I'm so happy.
And so I think that really helps, honestly, but it's hard,
you know, and I'm being very honest, Like it's hard.
It's like, I don't know that many people that believe
they're the best at anything, even if they are sure,
you know, I think if you, I think if you
said to David Beckham, like you're one of the greatest
soccer players of all time or you're no, there's so
(33:58):
many better, like right, I mean, I think definitely you're
confidence now in terms of work and family life. I
would say that like the only times I would ever
think of you feeling less confident or not as confident,
it's just about work stuff, not anything about what's going
on in your real with Roger, with boys, with your
(34:21):
extended family, with your friends. But yeah, I agree, I
think you But you're also you're not good at taking
compliments and you're not really good at celebrating your wins.
I would say, nice to hear you say that. Those
like refuel you and that helps you build your confidence back.
You don't really pay a lot of attention or give
(34:42):
a lot of credence to your wins. No, but maybe
you do inside and that helps, I don't know, But
outwardly you're like, no, no, no, let's just keep working. Yeah,
move on. Yeah. I think it's because I think it's
like a fear, right, Like it's sort of like a
she if she relish and that it's going to go
away real quick. Yeah. But I will say this, there
(35:03):
is a different type of confidence. There are different types
of confidence, sure. And my father taught me when I
was a stylist, when I was really building my career,
and every job I went into I felt like it
was my last. I was like, if I this up,
I'm dead, won't work again. I Am done. I imagine
as an actor, you feel that way all the time, right,
like actor, singer, I mean everything, everybody, Yeah, and so entertainment.
(35:25):
And I think what my dad taught me was that
confidence comes from experience. And I will say that over
the years, as I was doing my like two hundredth
styling job, right, you kind of roll into it with
a little bit of a different totally or about you,
like I got this let's do this right. So another
listener would like to know, would you ever offer coaching
courses for women? Yes, I would offer coaching classes like
(35:50):
for styling, for getting dressed, for teaching, for what, for mommying,
for what. It doesn't specify, but I would imagine it's
based in fashion or in your preneurial life. Yeah, I
mean professors companies that do that. I mean I actually
think through Curator, I'm going to start doing a bit
of a coaching Q and a conversation and answer everybody's
(36:12):
questions and keep it real. Yeah, I'm going to do
that for our members coming up, which will be really exciting.
You also work with Intro. I work with Intro, which
if you have not heard of Intro, it's the most
incredible platform and you can sign onto Intro and basically
pay for time with any of your favorite experts through
(36:32):
multiple different fields and it's it's pretty incredible. Home design, entertaining, astrology, fashion, fashions, wellness,
all of it. It's pretty incredible. So you should check
out Intro. I'm obsessed with it. Yeah, and I'm on it.
And you can actually sign up for a session with
Rachel if you'd like. Yep, Okay, this is our last
(36:53):
question for today. And I know it's when you get
asked frequently, but it's tips for dressing a full figure.
I mean, I think you have to, like anyone else
with any type of body fuller otherwise you have to
think about the things of your body that you love
the most. Rights It's similar concept as like being pregnant.
(37:15):
It's like, what are you most proud of in your pregnancy.
I have friends that literally basically didn't wear pants for
their whole pregnancies because they just want to show their
legs all the time, right, friends to show their arms,
and I think with a fuller figure, I very often
like to suggest to embrace your shape and embrace your curves.
They're beautiful, and really choose the part of your body
(37:38):
that you feel the most confident in and really accentuate that.
You know, whether it's your shoulders, your decolotage, your arms,
your neck, you know, it's the most beautiful part of
a woman. I love a woman's back. If you feel
really good about your legs, the more shorter dresses, you know.
But I do think that things that really embrace your
shape are more flattering because typically, you know, if we're
(38:00):
a very kind of luminous look. It won't be the
most flattering to you, so I think just embrace your body.
Love your body for what it is and where things
that are more fitted. Put a belt on, show your waist,
you know. Love that Rachel's z Oh, thank you for
doing an ask Rachel with all of us. We'll talk
to you guys soon. Thank you so much for asking
(38:29):
all of these incredible questions and listening to Climbing in Heels.
I love that you guys love to do these with me.
It's so much fun. Don't forget to write a review
wherever you get your podcasts because it really helps it
out and it's super fun for me to see while
you're at it. Follow me on at Rachel's Zoe and
at Climbing in Heels pod on Instagram for more updates
(38:51):
on upcoming guests, episodes, and all things Curator mtuted
Hi. Everyone, I'm Rachel Zoe and you're listening to Climbing
in Heels. The show is all about celebrating extraordinary superwoman
who will be sharing their most incredible journeys to the top,
all while staying glamorous. Today we're doing a full episode
of Ask Rachel Questions. Instead of interviewing a guest about
their climb to the top, I'm going to answer your
(00:29):
questions about anything and everything. Here to help is my
producer and confidant and everything, Mary Elizabeth. And I'm so
excited to open up and spill my secrets a little more.
So let's get started. Hi, everybody, it is Mary Elizabeth.
I'm here with Rachel Zoe. Mary Elizabeth and I have
(00:52):
just celebrated our tenure anniversary. That's right. You know those
people that come into your life that you hold on
to for dear life. Well, Mary Elizabeth is one of
those people. Also known as Emmy. That's right because when
my kids were little, they couldn't see Mary Elizabeth, so
they call her Emmy. So if you ever hear me
referring to oh, Emmy, and then Emmy said, this is Emmy,
(01:14):
Mary Elizabeth. People know that I started as Rachel's assistant,
but I like to say that I was Skyler Roman's
executive assistant and I wanted to get business cards made.
Roger and I actually laughed about that once, that I
was going to get real business cards that said Skyler
Burman's executive assistant. I still am to be fair as
Salim if you were to call me and be like, hey,
(01:35):
these sneakers, no fun, hundred person. Okay. So in this
episode of Climbing in Heels, we have sourced a bunch
of ask Rachel questions. So these questions have come through
either Rachel's Instagram personally or our show Instagram, and we
are not holding back in terms of categories. We're going
to jump around to a bunch of different topics. I'm
a little scared, don't be scared. A little scared. I
(01:56):
feel like you're setting me up to like th room,
like curve bowls. Not at all you can handle all
of this. But I love that these resonates so much
with you. Guys keep sending me your questions because I
really the feeling like I'm talking directly to you and
having conversations with you exactly. So in lieu of the
Valentine's Day holiday we had this week and your wedding anniversary.
(02:19):
I thought we would kick it off with a question
that you get a lot all the time in person,
on social in interviews, and that is what are your
biggest tips for having a lasting marriage slash relationship? There's
so many, honestly, but I'll try and keep it short.
I would say that the fact that robturn I've been
(02:39):
together for thirty one years and married for twenty five,
we do recognize that's pretty unheard of these days. I
have a handful of friends that have beautiful, happy marriages,
very long lasting, but it's a very hard thing. And
I think the one thing I always say is that
I think the misconception about relationships in marriage is that
(03:00):
often hearing people say marriage takes so much work, and
I genuinely think that the thing is and like, no
marriage is perfect, no matter what Instagram says, but marriage
should really be like the easiest thing in your life.
And I think that's the kind of point that everyone's missing.
Marriage should be the thing where like your other half
(03:22):
is the person that you come home and be safe with,
the person that you can talk to or not talk to,
the person that you can yell at if you need
to and they know you don't mean it. The person
that when you're sobbing there next to you and know
they may not know what to say, but like you
kind of feel like they know what to say. I
think Roger and I there's a big part of our relationship,
(03:42):
especially now between like working, kids and stuff. We can
be home all night together and like be in other
parts of the house and like I'll be on the
phone with friends and my mom or whatever, and I
just or just need to return one hundred emails and
he wants to watch, like, you know, some crime drama
and like that's fine. And So I think the key
to success really number one, first and foremost trust. If
(04:05):
you don't have that, nothing works, at least for me,
that's something that can't be repaired. And I would say
that in thirty one years, there has not been a
day where I questioned the trust that I have for Roger.
So I think that is number one. Number two. Roger
once said this, and it really stuck with me. We
really root for each other, you know, we really are
playing for the same team. We don't compete, we want
(04:27):
each other to win. He has never held me back
in my career or anything else. If I want to
go out with my girlfriends, he pushes me out the
door because he wants me to have fun. I think
those are really big keys to success. I think anytime
a spouse is holding someone back, that's not a good thing, right.
And I think you have to have your own life,
(04:48):
you know, you have to have your own story going on,
and then your story together. You know, those are like
some of it. And don't forget separate bathrooms. Okay, see,
separate bathrooms is really underrated. And I think that for me, Oh,
I'm pretty sure I could move to the smallest house
I can ever imagine, as long as I have a
(05:08):
separate bathroom from Roger, because I just think that's the
beginning of the end. Just do Okay. How do you
keep a positive mindset and stay focused on your dreams.
It's a great question and a very challenging one because
I would say that there are people very close to me,
Roger being one of them, that might call me negative.
(05:30):
Sometimes I just call myself a realist, and I think
that I play games with myself. I try to sort
of expect the worst so that I'm not disappointed. It
has really served me really works for me. I think
if you only think about the good things that are
going to happen, then at least for me, you get
really let down. And I think it makes the sort
(05:51):
of feeling of failure worse. But I would say that
the key for me and staying positive and passionate and
moving forward is the people I surround myself with. I
have the most extraordinary team, and when I'm feeling shitty,
they'll lift me up. And I think it's like having
that best group of girlfriends that's like your extended family,
(06:13):
and that's the team I have. And you know, and
I think Roger too, and he doesn't always know the
right thing to say. Sometimes I'll think he's saying the
right thing, and it actually makes it worse because he's
just a dude. But I would say that staying positive
you have to, like I don't know, I have to
get better at sort of looking at what I have done.
And I also think that there's incredible people in the
industry that really are very kind with me and very
(06:36):
generous and very gracious and very thankful and appreciative and
that and that those moments where they like thank me
for inspiring them or motivating or because of me, they
did this or whatever. Those things actually make you want
to keep doing them because you want to keep having
that impact on people, right, you know, I think you're
a very also positive version of yourself when you're inspired
(06:59):
by something, when you're excited and you come back from
Paris Fashion Week, or when you like there is a
new sort of fire in you that is yes, there,
but not always there. No, no, And I think it's that,
you know, I always compare it to that Sarah Jessica
moment right like, it's that moment when she got to
Paris and she walks around in that big tool gallon
(07:21):
or skirt like twirling around like a kid in a
candy store. And I think, you know, yes, I think
when I'm reminded of what I love the most, you know,
I get excited, I like light up, I do, and
you stay positive. I do as opposed to your every
day realist. Yes, mindset, that realist, that realist. But I
would not ever describe you as someone with your glass
(07:42):
like half empty. No you're not like that. No, yeah,
you're like, this is a beautiful glass. I don't want
it to knock over. It's a nice glass. And I
wanted to break. Don't spill, don't break, don't spill, good Lord,
don't spell. Okay. Next question, which I am excited for
you to answer, how do you keep your boys from
(08:02):
becoming spoiled? And are there items that you have refused
to buy them and what are they? Okay, that's a
really good question and one that I never really had
to deal with. Then tell right now, because my son
is in sixth grade, and in sixth grade there's things
you're made aware of that you didn't really care about
(08:23):
until now, and it's like, all of a sudden, you
become aware of other possessions that people might have in
labels and things. And I'm just like, you know, I
definitely have spent the last eleven almost twelve years working
tirelessly to keep my children unspoiled, spoiled with love almost
(08:44):
to a fault, like I like overlove my kids. I
don't even know if that's possible, but I do. The
challenge is real because we live in a place where
there are tons of spoiled children everywhere. But I really
like to say that it's not where you grow up,
it's how you parent. And I am very loud and
very clear when I hear comments about whether it's and
(09:10):
I've had a new electronic, a video game, a new
pair of sneakers that cost more than anything Roger's ever
bought for himself, and I have to check the kids
real quick. I want to say kids. I don't want
to say Kaius because he's the most unspoiled child who
asks for nothing except like a or like action figure
or something that not action figure, but like you know,
one of those things he could just hold, or like
(09:32):
more books. Yeah, yeah, Kaius is not doesn't really get
driven by material and Skylar, I think, is very entrepreneurial
in his spirit. He is ready to start businesses, He's
ready to make money. He loves cars and knows every
model in year. He's obsessed, which I respect because I
(09:54):
think it's like a cool thing to take interest in, right, Like,
so I like that, But I am very mindful of
what I say no to, and I say no to
a lot. And I think that God doesn't know what
things cost or what things are, and he'll just say, oh,
you know so and so I got these. I love them,
like blah blah blah. I'm like, that's great. You have
(10:15):
a birthday coming up. Let's talk about it. Okay, let's
look at your grades. Okay, let's look at you know
so I do. I will say this, Roger and I
said to both of our children a couple of years ago, Okay,
there's things that we do as your parents, which is
most everything. There's a few jobs that you have as children. Right.
You must be empathetic, you must be kind, and you
(10:37):
must do your best in school. And if you do
those things, your life is going to go well. If
you don't do those things, everything goes away. So and
it's worked, Honestly, it's really worked. And they have to
keep up their end and we keep up our end.
But I would say Roger and I keep a very
very tight rain on what is given and what it's
(11:01):
for and why, and they have to earn it. And
if you know, the behavior changes. If I hear Braddy's statements,
kind of lose my mind a little. Yeah, I have
to almost like a moment, it's a trigger, like a trigger,
And then I show them a video from Save the
Children or Children's Hospital or seam Jude or honestly like
baby to baby videos and it actually, I have to
(11:22):
tell you, it really helps, right, because sometimes I think
kids just need to be checked and they need to
see what the world that isn't around them in their
immediate radius. Is it looks like Yes, and I think
it's important. Is there anything you can remember refusing to
buy them? Yes, but most recently a pair of off
(11:43):
white sneakers that's Skyl wanted for Christmas. They were It's
like it was insane. It was like an off white.
It's like I want to say, it's an Air Jordan
retro row number something, off white something. Because now Skyler's
(12:04):
a collectors right, And he said, Mom, you collect things.
I said, I've worked my your life to collect things
and you can too, I mean can you will be
app and I'll be honest with you. That's the challenge
is sort of like I understand, and I appreciate that
he appreciates. I love that he appreciates beautiful things and
(12:27):
has a desire and he treats them like goal like
things that he has that are meaningful. They're in like
class cases and he doesn't touch them, and like, you know,
so I appreciate it. But he's eleven. He's your son, yes,
through and through. Yes he is he is, and I
think he'll do exactly what I did. I think he'll
take every dollar that he has that he earns, and
(12:50):
you know, at fourteen or fifteen, he will probably spend
it on one thing, which is what I did, and
I still have it. Really ye oh my gosh, that's
sixteen all my money, every dollar, every dollar and one thing.
I love that. Okay, self care wise, do you have
actual downtime? And when you do, what does it look like?
(13:12):
I don't know, Mary Elizabeth, what does my self care
downtime look like? Well, it doesn't happen often, we all
know that, but occasionally, like very occasionally, you'll say a
rope day on a Monday, or like Roger took the
kids out, I had two hours alone. Yes, so I
think people might think that when you're you have those
two hours, you're like going to a spa or going
(13:36):
or whatever. So what in your like, how can you
paint the picture of how you recharge? Okay, So on
a Sunday morning, if Roger takes the kids to taekwondo
and I have a window of nine to eleven, I
will probably clean so I can function and then take
probably a really long hot shower. When I say really long,
like fifteen minutes rather than two, right, you know, maybe
(13:58):
put on like amount ask or you know, something like that,
like a like a fifteen minute college a mask on.
I don't know, and probably just like not rush and
just like being like my really luxurious bathrobe, you know,
really comfortable, and like make phone calls to friends that
I can't speak to during the e and any mean,
(14:19):
and just catch up. And that's like relaxing for me.
You know, like not rushing to go somewhere is relaxing
for me, Like not having to like turning the grind off. Yeah,
that's honestly, like really the most relaxing thing for me.
If someone was like, you don't have a commitment. You
don't have to like do anything right now, right, So
(14:40):
that's hard for me to register, right, no one has
to be here at this time, right, Like no one's
coming out. You don't have a meeting, and of a call,
you don't you don't have asume me of a podcast.
You know. It's like yes, correct, like I'm literally alone
for two hours. You're also a big outside person, I
think I am. When you're like chilling and need to relax,
you sit outside a lot. I do because I really
(15:01):
like fresh air, right, Yeah, I really like fresh air.
And I also think, like coming from the East Coast
of being a New Yorker and then moving here, even
though it was so long ago, I don't ever take
it for granite that it's just so beautiful here, and
like just walking up and down my street, you know,
and took like an hour and a half walk last
week and it was just like, you know, it's just
(15:21):
like a gorgeous day, you know. I don't know. I
love that. That's great, but nothing nothing like extravagant, no,
I don't. Yeah, even just going to that country Martin,
walking around by myself for like an hour, it's just lovely.
It's all you need, but it really is. I'm pretty
long maintenance like that. Okay. Do you sleep with your
(15:45):
makeup on? Because your eye makeup always looks perfect even
in the morning. I'm dead, Okay, So full disclosure. I'm sorry,
Barbara Storm, I'm sorry, Nurse Jamie, I'm sorry, i'van, I'm
sorry to all the people that helped make my skin.
Take care of your take care of my skin. I
do sleep with my eye makeup on probably ninety percent
(16:09):
of the time. Not my face makeup, not my skin.
I clean my skin before. Yeah, I have to have
had way too much champagne to sleep with my face
makeup on, Like I have to not want to deal. Yeah. Yeah,
but I don't like that feeling. I like, actually feel
like my poores clogging if I sleep with makeup on. Yeah, gross,
and it gets on her pillet Like that's just gross. Yeah,
(16:31):
it's not the best. So you do admit to sleeping
with your eye? I do, Okay, I can't lie about it.
Only just because we see you in the morning on
your Instagram. Yeah it's six am. Everyone's like, you're not
sleeping you have makeup on, and I'm like, no, I
actually just slept with it. Yeah. By the way, my
mother does too. Except my mother, I think sleeps with
like a full face. I love it. It's very like
(16:52):
old school. It is. It's very like didn't anyone see
like marvelous miss maisl she got up in the net? Yeah,
it's kind of you. Okay. What is the number one
piece of fashion advice for people with a very limited budget? Oh?
I you know, I think that people in limited budgets
(17:13):
actually have the best style most of the time because
you're forced to be way more creative. Way more resourceful.
I my whole twenties, my whole like college into my
probably late twenties, before I started making actual money that
I could like buy my own things. You know, I
just went thrift store, thrist store, thrist store, and I
found pieces I still have going strong today. You know,
(17:36):
I think that you especially now because of much resale
of amazing things, you can really get treasures pretty much anywhere.
And I have to say, like I'm a huge advocate
for Zara and you know a lot of the other
amazing like sort of trend stores because they're very affordable,
(17:59):
especially when they're on sale. You could get like treasures
for like twenty dollars and those pieces like you can
just mix and match them a million ways. So I
don't think budget has to matter that much. It's obviously
easier when you have a big budget, of course, But
I just find sometimes people with the most money of
the worst taste. You know why is that? That's because
because they can buy anything right, so you don't have
(18:21):
to think about it. It's easier. You could say, oh,
I want this thing that's however much money, and I
buy that. You don't even think about it. You just go, oh,
this is the new hit thing great like this is
the new hot bag. Okay, I'm buying it even if
it doesn't work on you. You know, you don't think
about it, whereas if you're on a type budget or
limited budget, then you have to think about every piece
and you have to love it and it has to
work for you. So I would say, just buy key
(18:44):
pieces that can be on rotation in your daily uniform
and then buy, like, put a little more money into
like a great bag or shoes that can make everything
look better. And I have to say, obviously depending on
where you live, but a great coat or a blazer,
you know, like a great like even like a Dunom
blaze or black leather blaze or even vegan leather blazer
(19:04):
doesn't matter, but like that can make everything better. Statement
jewelry that doesn't have to cost anything can just make
your outfit amazing. It's true. Add drama always. Okay, do
you have a nanny or help with your boys? I've
not had a nanny in five years. I just had
epic help when the kids were younger. And you're too
(19:26):
much of a control for am I allowed to plug you? Yeah?
I mean I was when I started with Rachel, majority
of the time was with the kids. Yeah, she's our
family assistant and savior. And you know, I think when
you have amazing people that work with you and your
family and then they move on, you know, because they're great,
and you move them into like big jobs in your
company and things like that, it's hard to replace. And
(19:49):
so what happened was I just never replaced her, and
so now I have an assistant who helps like drive
the kids places and they need to go pick up
from cool when I can and stuff like that. But really,
like I really like to do everything with the kids.
I know that's crazy, but like my days are numbered.
You know, Sky's almost twelve, right, Pigs is nine. I
(20:12):
got like three more years of this and then they're
going to be like bye, I am a very handsome mom.
I don't say that to try and like make other
moms that have help in nanny's because I don't judge anyone.
I just what happened to me was I would try
to hire a nanny. It did not work. It didn't
like their work ethic or they were always on their
(20:32):
phones or whatever it was, and I said, this is crazy.
This is actually just another person for me to manage. Ultimately,
my kids come home from school and they want to
be with me, and they want me to make them dinner,
and they want me to tuck them in, and they want,
you know, and like I go out and I do
events and all those things, but ultimately, like I'm down
to have babysitters or whatever. I just I decided over
(20:55):
the last few years that I didn't want another person
between me and my kids, right, And that's my personal choice.
And it might just be because I had my kids later.
I think if I had my kids in my twenties,
like my early thirties, I would need real help all
the time, or I just wouldn't have done my career
the way I did, right, because it's really hard to
(21:15):
do both. That's a good segue into a next question,
which is how was your postpartum with your kids and
what helped you to bounce back? Well, I think if
you mean postpartum, I did not, very fortunately, and I
didn't realize how fortunate I was at the time. I
did not have postpartum depression with either of my children,
(21:36):
which only over the last few years did I realize
how serious that is and how many friends of mine
suffered terribly from how many women, so many close friends
of mine did, and it's it's just really something that
I believe is not talked about enough. I was fortunate
that I didn't. I think with Sky, I was like
(21:59):
a torn you go, because I was such a workaholic
for my entire adult life, and all I knew was
how to work twenty four seven, so much so that I,
you know that I got like sick from you know,
I just got that started to like lose my mind.
But I think what happened was I was like, I'm
not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready.
And I remember going to the hospital and walking doing
(22:21):
the hospital tour with Roger, like when I was nine
months pregnant. You're supposed to do it way earlier. But
I think I waited really long and I looked at
Roger and I was like, I'm not doing this, and
he was like, what are you talking about? You want
of a C section? I'm like, nope, not doing this.
I'm like I'm scared and I'm not ready. He's like,
well it's too late, So like wait a second. I
think I was just paralyzed with love. Honestly, like I
(22:43):
think I just my year being whirled. Everything just flipped
upside down and backwards, and I couldn't get my head
out of my ass for a bet, like a bet,
like a real bit like And I went back to
work pretty quickly in the sense of like my team
was at the house every day and I was working
in blah blah blah, but like I could not figure
(23:03):
out how to like be Rachel Zoe and be the
mom I wanted to be. And I just for that
probably first year, I just was like, I don't want
to go anywhere, don't want to do anything. I don't
want to leave him. I actually didn't leave him. You
were in a love tornado. I was in a love tornado.
I really was. And I don't think I really left
him until he was like four, and I took him everywhere.
(23:24):
And when I had Caius, it was like I kind
of got it down, you know what I mean, Like
it was sort of like by the time I had Caius,
I sort of was like, Okay, you can actually leave
your children and they're going to be okay, and you're
going to be okay, right te Love is definitely not
my strong area of parenting. Admittedly, my kids were not
(23:48):
sleep trained, they were not anything trained. They were potty trains.
They were potty trained, but even that was probably late.
But they I'm not good at the like let them
cry it out, tough love is good for them. That
just didn't fly with me. So here we are. And
it's funny because Roger is not great at that either.
Now it's two softies. Yeah in this house. It's true.
(24:10):
It's it's really true. We suck. No, we do. Skyler
even Kaia's had a fever last summer and it was
crazy high and his ear was hurting and he's screaming.
Roger was sob bang. He couldn't bear it, like literally
couldn't bear it. I was like, how to you? Like,
how are you in the room? When I gave birthies
like I thought I was going to die anyway. I
think what happened was the first child, I was shook
(24:33):
and I couldn't like go. I had that crazy like
upside down mom feeling like I can't get my life together,
I can't do this, I can't do both things. How
am I going to figure this out? And the balance
and this? And then by the time I had sky
Akaia is Honestly, it was like I was so obsessed
with him, and he was such an easy child. He
was so easy, like this little, happy, little marsupial And
(24:57):
I remember, like literally ten days after after I had
Kaius going to a fitting with Jen Lawrence for the oscars. Yeah,
And I remember walking in and her being like, are
you okay? Are you still in pain? I'm like, kind of,
but I was good. I was. I was really ready
to get back in it because I understood that I
could turn around and go home after the fitting and
(25:18):
it was okay, and Kaius was napping and he didn't
know I was missing. And so I had a weird
postpartum experience in the sense of I really turned upside
down and backwards and couldn't figure out how to how
to do it. I think by the second one I
definitely had it figured out more. But honestly, like you
(25:38):
were with me, I that leaving the balance, that not
wanting to go to things, leaving more than you know
two nights in a week you're like, oh my god,
I missed this or missing something important. It's hard, yeah,
it is, but you really didn't take time off. I didn't, kayas,
I didn't came. Yeah, I just remember all your meetings
(25:59):
to the house or we moved them. The whole team
at the house all the time, and I would like
do things while I was like breastfeeding, and you know,
you just kind of it just seemed more normal right time,
I think, right, it wasn't as jarring. No. Yeah, but
I didn't. I didn't take a quote unquote maternity leave. No. No,
I don't remember what if he didn't. No, Okay, which
(26:23):
you should, by the way, yes, you very much, You
very much should, because you don't get that time back. Yeah, okay.
Next question, what are your tips to help busy moms
women who have a very packed life and schedule feel stylish.
I think you have to really think about what you
do in your life. I think you have to think
about where you're going and what you're doing most of
(26:45):
the time. I can't tell you how many moms I
see at school and workout clothes because they go from
drop off to workout, right, And it makes sense, But
there are such cute workout clothes and workout jackets and
workout sinkers and all that. So I think it's important
as women for us to feel cute. We have to
(27:07):
feel attractive in order to put ourselves out in a
positive way. But whatever that is, it's like it means
something different to everybody. Like one of my best friends,
we just said on the podcast jan Meyer ask her
how she feels happiest, She's going to tell you and
sweats and sinkers right right, But like girl dresses up,
(27:29):
girl wears a secret minie like in heels and looks amazing.
But like, ultimately, however you feel your best is how
you should really put the most into kind of your
wardrobe and your look. And I think it's important to
think about, Okay, this is what I do five out
of seven days, so this is what I need, and
I need like black you know, loungy pants that I
(27:52):
can kind of run around him but then go to
the gym if I need to, and then put on
a cute like you know, Kashmir hoodie sweatshirt. But I'm
going to put you know, cute slides on, you know,
good like you know, mules on my feet, like a
really cozy like faux fir mule to just like cute
her than if I was wearing a sninker, right, So
I think it's like making little small decisions like that.
(28:13):
But to be honest, I really think it's important to
put five minute makeup on, like beautiful with their natural
beauty and no makeup, but like a little concealer, a
lip stain, a little on your cheek. It never really
hurt anybody, and I think, yeah, feel better. You know.
Sometimes when I see them, they'll be like they'll cover
their faces and be like, don't look at me. I
(28:34):
don't have makeup on. So it's like, you know, and
then there's people that don't look like they have makeup on,
but they have five minute makeup, right. So that's the thing.
I think. It's like perfecting the art of whatever that
no makeup makeup is for you. No makeup makeup. I
love that. But listen, if you ask Jyneth Paltrow, she
would tell you you should not have makeup on. And
by the way, ninety percent of the time I see her,
(28:54):
she doesn't have makeup on and she looks beautiful. So
I think, if that's how you feel your best, then
don't wear makeup, right, you know what I mean. But like,
if you're going to walk around with a hand over
your face and say, oh my god, don't look at me,
I don't. I don't want to makeup on. Then spend
five minutes and put concealer on and put a little
lipstain on, and you'll feel like a new person. Yeah.
So I think the takeaway here is like, figure out
how to make your routine if you don't have a
(29:17):
lot of time, as efficient as possible, but like as
impactful us. What is your ten minute before you get
out the door in the morning look like right? And
what is it that makes you feel more confident to
walk around for more than like driving your child to
school and not getting out of the car. So what's
going to make you get out of the car right?
(29:39):
And it doesn't have to be a ball down in
heels by the way for you it is, but the
rest of us living on the earth, a little sequin
never hurt anyone, It's true, not even Harry Styles. This
is very relevant to an update in your daily routine.
Oh my god. And the question is do you exercise regularly?
(30:00):
Rachel Zoh, oh my god. Okay, So this is a
question I've been asked my entire life, and my entire
life I have said absolutely not. You've done a little
yoga here and there, I've done bouts of yoga here
and there, but it does not last long. And I
am looking for the short, impactful, shortcut. And I've recently
(30:23):
started in twenty twenty three Tracy Anderson, but sort of
the abridged version of Tracy Anderson because I don't have
two hours to do her incredible body changing, life changing workout.
I have done some Melissa would health flows over the
last few years and they're incredible, really, and you can
do them anywhere, which I think are amazing. And you know,
(30:44):
but I have to say my like Tracy has been
great and it's like painful, impactful and short enough that
I can be done and start my day and jump
in the shower and like get on with my day.
And it's been nice. And it's like, you know, you
go about your day feeling like you did something good. Right,
So that's good. So is that considered self care? Yes,
(31:04):
but it's painful. Does that mean it's self care? It's
not relaxing, yeah, but it's good for you, So I
think it does fall into the bucket of self care. Okay,
even though we'll still give you a break. We'll let
you watch Bird ten. Watched it like a million times.
I'm chucked though, Phoebe Denivers not coming back? Oh really, Schuck?
Is that breaking news? It is breaking news? No? All right,
(31:26):
well it's breaking news. It was on my social feed today,
I screamed out loud. That's very sad. Well it's like
no her, no wreckage, and what's happening? Why will they recover?
We will find out? Okay, I recover? Will you recover? Yeah?
Have you ever lost confidence in yourself every day? And
how did you build it back? How do you build
(31:48):
it back? I lose confidence in myself every day. And
I say that. I say that with truth and sarcasm.
I say that with you know, just being very honest.
I'm very human. I always think no one's showing up
for me. I always think I'm not going to get
the whatever it is. I don't expect things in life,
(32:10):
and I always set myself up for worse. As I said,
it has worked for me. Part of it's a game,
and part of it I really truly believe that. I
don't know. And listen, I think I work in an
industry industries that you know, there's always other people, there's
always competition, there's always more, there's always this, there's always
this one you know, there's always challenges in everything. And
(32:32):
I think it's funny because we were like, oh, you
make this look so easy, or of course you're going
to get this, or of course no. Like it's like
life doesn't work like that. And so I think I've
lived enough life where I keep it very real, and
I keep it very real with myself. I lose confidence
all the time. I mean, I think I get it
back with successes, right like with wins. And I will
(32:54):
be honest with you that since I've become a mother,
it doesn't affect me as much. Meaning my confidence or
lack thereof would kind of really govern my being before
I had children, and I'd be like, oh, I'm not
going to get this job. Oh I didn't do that.
That wasn't the best look, or why did do this
or whatever? You know, when I became a mom, I
think it's when you start to question or you feel
(33:15):
as confident. You look at those little faces and they
just are loving all over me, you know, and it's
kind of like I'm good, right, and then Kaisa look
at me and be like, there's not really a day
It's true that it's like they're happy, they're healthy, they're
lifting you up. They're telling you you're the best, and
like all of a sudden, you're like okay, like okay,
(33:36):
if you see that crown on mommy's head, I'm so happy.
And so I think that really helps, honestly, but it's hard,
you know, and I'm being very honest, Like it's hard.
It's like, I don't know that many people that believe
they're the best at anything, even if they are sure,
you know, I think if you, I think if you
said to David Beckham, like you're one of the greatest
soccer players of all time or you're no, there's so
(33:58):
many better, like right, I mean, I think definitely you're
confidence now in terms of work and family life. I
would say that like the only times I would ever
think of you feeling less confident or not as confident,
it's just about work stuff, not anything about what's going
on in your real with Roger, with boys, with your
(34:21):
extended family, with your friends. But yeah, I agree, I
think you But you're also you're not good at taking
compliments and you're not really good at celebrating your wins.
I would say, nice to hear you say that. Those
like refuel you and that helps you build your confidence back.
You don't really pay a lot of attention or give
(34:42):
a lot of credence to your wins. No, but maybe
you do inside and that helps, I don't know, But
outwardly you're like, no, no, no, let's just keep working. Yeah,
move on. Yeah. I think it's because I think it's
like a fear, right, Like it's sort of like a
she if she relish and that it's going to go
away real quick. Yeah. But I will say this, there
(35:03):
is a different type of confidence. There are different types
of confidence, sure. And my father taught me when I
was a stylist, when I was really building my career,
and every job I went into I felt like it
was my last. I was like, if I this up,
I'm dead, won't work again. I Am done. I imagine
as an actor, you feel that way all the time, right,
like actor, singer, I mean everything, everybody, Yeah, and so entertainment.
(35:25):
And I think what my dad taught me was that
confidence comes from experience. And I will say that over
the years, as I was doing my like two hundredth
styling job, right, you kind of roll into it with
a little bit of a different totally or about you,
like I got this let's do this right. So another
listener would like to know, would you ever offer coaching
courses for women? Yes, I would offer coaching classes like
(35:50):
for styling, for getting dressed, for teaching, for what, for mommying,
for what. It doesn't specify, but I would imagine it's
based in fashion or in your preneurial life. Yeah, I
mean professors companies that do that. I mean I actually
think through Curator, I'm going to start doing a bit
of a coaching Q and a conversation and answer everybody's
(36:12):
questions and keep it real. Yeah, I'm going to do
that for our members coming up, which will be really exciting.
You also work with Intro. I work with Intro, which
if you have not heard of Intro, it's the most
incredible platform and you can sign onto Intro and basically
pay for time with any of your favorite experts through
(36:32):
multiple different fields and it's it's pretty incredible. Home design, entertaining, astrology, fashion, fashions, wellness,
all of it. It's pretty incredible. So you should check
out Intro. I'm obsessed with it. Yeah, and I'm on it.
And you can actually sign up for a session with
Rachel if you'd like. Yep, Okay, this is our last
(36:53):
question for today. And I know it's when you get
asked frequently, but it's tips for dressing a full figure.
I mean, I think you have to, like anyone else
with any type of body fuller otherwise you have to
think about the things of your body that you love
the most. Rights It's similar concept as like being pregnant.
(37:15):
It's like, what are you most proud of in your pregnancy.
I have friends that literally basically didn't wear pants for
their whole pregnancies because they just want to show their
legs all the time, right, friends to show their arms,
and I think with a fuller figure, I very often
like to suggest to embrace your shape and embrace your curves.
They're beautiful, and really choose the part of your body
(37:38):
that you feel the most confident in and really accentuate that.
You know, whether it's your shoulders, your decolotage, your arms,
your neck, you know, it's the most beautiful part of
a woman. I love a woman's back. If you feel
really good about your legs, the more shorter dresses, you know.
But I do think that things that really embrace your
shape are more flattering because typically, you know, if we're
(38:00):
a very kind of luminous look. It won't be the
most flattering to you, so I think just embrace your body.
Love your body for what it is and where things
that are more fitted. Put a belt on, show your waist,
you know. Love that Rachel's z Oh, thank you for
doing an ask Rachel with all of us. We'll talk
to you guys soon. Thank you so much for asking
(38:29):
all of these incredible questions and listening to Climbing in Heels.
I love that you guys love to do these with me.
It's so much fun. Don't forget to write a review
wherever you get your podcasts because it really helps it
out and it's super fun for me to see while
you're at it. Follow me on at Rachel's Zoe and
at Climbing in Heels pod on Instagram for more updates
(38:51):
on upcoming guests, episodes, and all things Curator mtuted
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.