Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You see how the Peabody's trying to play me. News category,
news category. Man, what I do is harder than the news.
The news could never be me. Never they wish they
could be me. I'm on a whole other level, a
whole other level what I do. What I do is art,
and I am an artist, and I'm the best at it.
(00:22):
I'm the greatest. I'm the billy go yo, man. They
don't know, they don't know. I can make any news
story in the art. Any news story can be art.
All all news does it gives you what happened? I
make you feel something. I give you emotion. I make
you emote. I can make any news story in the art.
(00:45):
Give me a headline. Give me a headline, right now, Sampson,
give me a headline. Oh yeah, yeah, okay, headlines just
open up Apple News, Apple News head just in their
head any headline, any headline. Uh okay, our first headline,
(01:07):
headline number one little to no fraud reported among US
rental assistance programs, indicating huge cover up. Next, Oh yeah,
you're you're okay, okay, alright, let's see what okay, Yeah
(01:28):
you just said. Yeah, your broad definition of art. It's
just anything that makes you feel Stuffing news is just objectivity,
so you just put whatever you want in there to
make people feel angry. Okay, yeah. Headline number two minor
butterflies return to California so liberals can try to register
(01:53):
them as illegal voters. Next. Yeah, okay, that's alright. I
imagine that article right now. Headline number three, Bill Gates
says vaccines could improve child mortality free and parents and
underdeveloped nations to have less children. Bill Gates wishes ship
(02:19):
children with dead comma pushes baby killing vaccine. Yo. Yo,
the ship is too easy, son, The ship is too
easy for me. I'm the greatest boars. I ship gold bars,
baby gold bars. I should gold gold. Omar accurate his
(02:43):
reports kill Biden doesn't. White. The Christian pythologist from Laria
Crines claims of raising increasing earthquake is being correctly caused
by an increase of rock and roll. He is a eleven.
In a new interview with omar Acure News, Dr Fauci
refuses to take responsibility for nine eleven. He says it
me because he had nothing to do with it. Will
let you decide. Following his initial disappointment about having to
(03:11):
be placed in the news category for the peabodies. Amri
seems to have come around on the idea. After surveying
the landscape. He now feels that this actually gives him
an advanton the Washington Post PPS news out what everyone
circles around them. I want circles around him. They're so boring.
(03:34):
They'll be boring me to death. They bore my grandma
to death. I want circles around him. It's exactly, yo,
you know what this is like. You know what this
is like? Huh you know what this is like. It's
exactly the same thing as putting Nurse Jackie in the
comedy category at the Golden Globes. Oh what look, just
(03:58):
stay with me. You know about is Jackie? Nurse Jackie?
You know? Uh in the drama category? Is not necessarily
wanted to go up against the sopranos, you know, the Sopranos.
That's a heavy hitter. But you might feel more comfortable
going up against the big bank theory. So you know this,
(04:19):
this is exactly, This is exactly it. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we ain't worry about New York Times winning the last
five years in a row. They wait, they did what? Yeah?
They always winning. We don't care about what everybody's say,
but they always winning, How they're a clear favorite to
win it again next year. How it's definitely a lock,
(04:42):
and how they can't look. We gotta change it. Oh yeah,
there's no way, there's no way we can Winsten. We
gotta get switched. Oh yeah, we gotta. We gotta get
switched into the Arts Care Corps. Yeah, yeah, we need
to get switched. After deciding not to settle for the
news Categories submission, Amari resorted back to his old tricks.
(05:03):
Similarly to how he tried to blackmail his old improv
group into letting him back in by publishing falsehoods I'm
are decided to use his power to run a smear
campaign against the Peabodies, except this time, instead of blogging lies,
he brought up billboards all over New York City claiming
(05:24):
that the Peabodies are stifling him. They don't say exactly
how they're stifling him, just that they are and that
they're ragged. We were with Amar as he checked Twitter
to gauge how the billboards were being received. Ship, Oh shit, son,
(05:51):
people leading this up? Son? Yeah, like a breaking and
egg sewich a bit? No not? What are you? Yeah?
Like the baking an egg. No, just all right, okay,
this one says peabodies are rigged. Yeah, okay, I'm loving
it all right. Let's see, let's see boycott the peabodies.
(06:16):
They go do a boycott just for me, AMRII accurate
news deserves a peabody. That's another tweet, yo, yo. I
gotta jump in here, right. I can't just let the
Twitter world just not not feel like I abandoned. I
gotta jump in there right, let them know that. Yeah, yeah,
you're right, yeah, yeah, Samon. You know You're not just
(06:39):
like yes man, right, yeah yeah, I'm not just yes man,
you're okay, because I can't handle yes man. Yeah. I
mean like I need people around me to be brutally honest. Okay,
so you know, just just tell me true, let me
you know, just you can speak up, speaking mind and
(07:02):
just you know, just tell me what it is. There
is a terrible idea and it's not gonna work, oh
unless you hit it with that Amori spinning year right
right now. That's what I was thinking too, That's what
I was thinking to Okay, alright, so Twitter, okay, let's
(07:28):
see what do I Alright, I'll tweet at Peabody's listen
two the people let Amari accurate News be acknowledged in
the arts category. Yeah, oh oh, ship people. People are
(07:51):
responding back. Okay, this one says it's not art, this
is real life. What no? All right? And I gotta
respond to that, right, all right? Reply no dot dot dot.
Amori accurate news is about artistic expression. What all right?
(08:21):
They just said? Wrong, Amari accurate news is the only
real news, are you Kidney? Look okay, tweet back. I
am Amori and I'm telling you it is art there. Okay,
(08:45):
if you were the real Amari, you know it wasn't. Okay,
all this is absolutely Amari. Look at my account and
check mark send ship man. Can you believe it's just
(09:09):
everybody's trying to play me? Nowaday, everybody's trying to get Okay,
here we go. Came back h S M D S
M D as M D s M d Oh so
so much drip, so much drip? Yeah, all right, to
be bad, you know it? Yeah? All right? That was
(09:34):
a positive interation. Not everybody stupid. After a while of this,
I'm are announced he needed to speak to his readers
face to face, all right, Samson set up a rally
in the city. I need to let people know that
a mari accurate news is not news. What's so hard
(09:55):
about that to understand? I mean, people are still coming
at me like the uh it's for real? Like this
is real ship. It's not real ship. You're not supposed
to take it. It's just supposed to make you feel
it's real as far as like the emotion that you feel.
But just just set the ship up, man, just set
the ship up. I gotta speak to the people directly
(10:15):
that read this ship. Uh. No, No, I can't do that.
I'm not gonna do that. What No, come home, man,
you got you have to do it, you, I have to.
I gotta speak to the people. You don't get it.
I gotta speak straight to the people. No, I can't
do it. Those fans are crazy and they will kill you.
(10:38):
Listen to what you just said. If their fans, why
would they kill me? They love me? Then my fans. Okay,
that would be a beautiful eulogy. But I'm not doing that. Samson.
You are going to do this or I Am going
to smash your dick in a phone book, rip it
(10:58):
off and use it as a book talk. Damn damn okay,
all right, yeah, yeah, thank you. Yeah. Only for the books, though,
what are you yeah? Because if you you ripped my
dick off and put it in a book, it's gonna
(11:22):
that book. You ain't gonna be able to read it.
You ain't gonna be able to read it. You ain't
gonna be able to read that book with all that
dick and blood and mm hmm oh, I'll say the books, whatever, man,
just just do it. Even though he eventually gave in,
Samson was never comfortable with the idea of addressing fans
(11:45):
in person and continuing to plead his case for calling
off the event. If you have any apprehension at all,
you know you don't have to do this. You out
of your mind. Look at the size of that crowd,
just to hear me, just to hear me speak. Yo.
(12:06):
We don't give them what they want, baby, we don't
give them what they want. Let's go. Let's go. No no, no, no, no, no, no,
no no no. Hello Mari Accurate News readers, Yo, what
a baby. It's me, your boy, as the founder and
(12:28):
editor in chief. I am real to see so much
support to have a Mari Accurate News acknowledged as the
artistic endeavor that it is a mare Accurate news is
not and will never be just straight news. We're not
just straight news. We are more than straight news, way
(12:50):
more than straight news. A Maori accurate news is and
always will be fake news. What excuse me? What the
heck are you talking about? Yeah? Yeah, we fake news, baby,
(13:11):
always have, always will be way better than news with
fake news? Are is this some sort of joke? No
jokes here, no joke. Now. We ain't the onion. We're
not the onion. This is a Marii accurate news. We
are accurate. We are Mari accurate news. Fake news, Amari
accurate news fake news. When you hear Mari accurate news,
(13:33):
you should think fake news. This ship only supposed to
make me feel something. Okay, all right, you know what.
I get it now because you said it so many
times in a row, so I know what's happening here,
because O Mari would never say these things. You're a
government clone sent to infiltrate our movement. Yep, you're a clone.
(13:54):
Look at me, he's a clone. That's a clone. Face,
not a clone. Now, you can never clone me. You
can never clone me. Come on, that's what a clone
would look at him. You can't clue. You can't clone me.
You can't speak. How could they clone me? Clue? You
never club clube what? No, No, don't believe her, Do
not believe her. Say it with me, clone, don't believe
you gotta believe me. Club You don't believe me. You're
(14:16):
not a fan of person. You're my fans, Yes they are.
They're my fans. Now, No, No, they're my fans. No,
they've always been my fans. I am a real person
and you are a clubb You're a clue. No, I'm
a I'm a real person. That's really I'm a real
person delivered faith news. I'm a real person delivered faith news.
And if he was a fake news fan, you would
know about that. Now look at him. Clones can cry too.
(14:37):
Don't let him believe you. No, no, these are real. No, hey, no,
do you know for me? You know for me? You
off the state? No? No clue, no clue, no clue.
No you know my nick you know my nicko sades
(14:58):
clap goo uh. Samthing was eventually able to save Mary
from the crowd with just a broken bone or two,
(15:22):
but um later at the hospital, Amri had a sober moment,
sober and somber. M hmm what oh am I? Ah,
all right, come on, Samthing, we gotta get to the rally.
(15:42):
We gotta go, We gotta get Uh yeah, no, you
don't want to do that again. Ah what do you
mean again? I'm at a hospital? Oh god, my ribs. Yeah,
what are you talking about again? We already go? What
(16:03):
what am I doing here? Uh? Yeah, So it didn't
go as uh plan. You didn't plan to get your
ass whooped? But uh, that's what happened. Ah, what are
(16:24):
you talking about? We went there? Why would I get
my ass? First of all, you're here, yeah yeah, and
then my fans. Yeah, well the fans got a little excited,
and uh they showed that excitement in violent ways. So
(16:47):
now you're a little dinged up and in the hospital
they said you can't leave, Jill. They get better sides,
uh as pertaining to your health. H ah, God damn it. Yeah,
(17:09):
I remember now, I remember what happened. Man. Where did
I go wrong? Samson? Uh? Probably with all the lies
and um, honestly, from day one, you know you took
one wrong step in and followed that up with many
(17:32):
more bad steps. Yeah, thank you. Samson. H h h all right,
I just I can't do this anymore. I can't do it.
I thought I was going on. I thought everybody understood.
(17:53):
I thought everybody understood. Why can't people just appreciate what
I do for what it is art. I can see it,
you can see it. Yeah, I can see it. I
can see it, But I can also see what they see,
uh as well? All right, just okay, I know you're
(18:15):
feeling bad about the yes man stuff from earlier, but
there is a little too real, buddy. Yeah, I don't know. Man,
this feels like a crossroads. I gotta I can either
keep going or give it all up. I think I
(18:38):
know what I gonna do. Yeah, I gotta give it up. No, no, no,
I gotta. I have to say. I gotta give it up.
The business, the the the the awards. Can't in pain,
(19:01):
the documentary. Uh, just all this, man, it's gotta go.
I can't keep doing this. This is really you know,
when it was hurting other people, uh you know, that
was fine, but ah, now I'm hurt and uh that's serious.
(19:24):
And uh we gotta take that seriously, don't we. Yeah, yeah,
we take injuries seriously. So damn man, damn. I know,
I know, but we'll make it. We'll make it through.
(19:46):
But for right now, I'm calling it. I'm calling it
right now. It's over. Oh no, the stop don't mm hmm,
(20:09):
all right, Sam, let's just let's just calm down next time.
So this documentary, all the footage, will use it to
produce an expose on me. Just saw you now it
would have to be a no holds bar documentary podcast expose.
No no, no, no no. I don't like that. So
(20:31):
you had a chance to listen to the whole thing,
and uh, I'm looking over your comment card, but I
wanted to hear from you. Uh what'd you think? What'd
you think? Um, I'm supposed to be honest, right. I
hated it.