June 24, 2025 • 36 mins
Sharelle, Alexis & Ashley recap the Paris leg of Beyoncé's Cowboy Carter Tour, break down the dangers of struggling through toxic relationships over prioritizing peace, and much more!
02:44 - Cowboy Carter Tour recap
20:37 - Soft Life vs. Struggle Love
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Like get in my way, never out of my lad
It's like you won and.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
The more one.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
So it is gonna be.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Joor lady wait LEI yes we are, y'all go back. Actually,
I don't say a few things that you learned while.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
We were in PERI we I learned girl Girstal song
song so know my favorite.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I was like that time, no, say what you're saying.
They was like, you should say it like that, that's
kind of rude.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
But I said, ex say why, yes, Crystal.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Like me.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
We had such an amazing time. Yeah, yes, tell the
people weren't you were? Let them know.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
When I went to see the Cowboy Carter show in Paris,
it was just so amazing.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I swear that show was better than Renaissance. I didn't
think that was possible.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
To top the Renaissance show. It's like I wasn't expecting that.
I was like, okay, it's country. I mean, it's it's
but I didn't expect it to be what it was.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
I mean, she really performed.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
The mic was on, Honey was singing, singing okay, and
she gave both songs from the Renaissance and she brought
out Miley Sirs and like some of her old. I
mean she performed for three hours straight.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Yes it was.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
It was beautiful for real part of to be high.
So we need to hear from Shrell. Listen, Okay, actually
can vouch for me sitting right next to me, and
I had the time of my life, like I was
all into it.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Like Beyonce, when you.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Go to her concert, it's like it's a whole performance,
it's entertainment.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
It's like you're mesmerized.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I don't know what the hell Beyonce me doing, but
it's something that captures you into her where it's not
a doll moment. There was not one doll moment at
her concert like it was. It was so beautiful, it
was well performed. Everyone did amazing. My girl Blue showed
out with her little dancing, her walking like baby Blue.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Blue came back and said, y'all ain't gonna talk about
me no more. I'm about to show y'all I was
given at, so give me at. I love it.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Do you all feel like watching Beyonce overseas in the
city of love like Paris Paris?
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Do you feel like it was a different energy compared
to like watching her in the States. We always make
a trip of it.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
So we saw Renaissan in Toronto, so we try to
like travel to see her because I mean, I've seen
her show like locally and it's great, but it's something
about being somewhere different and like making a trip with
your friends.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
It just makes it like ten times more special.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
But I will say I did expect a little bit
more from the Corsian crowd as far as their looks.
I would expect them to see like, you know, just
head to toew Cowboy Carter down, and it wasn't given that.
But I feel like it was more tourists there than
(03:57):
the actual ues.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I feel like it was.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
It was so many tourists that came to the show
in Paris. It was crazy, you have. It was like,
oh my gosh, oh I lie, help that okay because
I found this water and y'all right.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
But you know what, but low key, I think that.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Beyonce Hey has made the Cowboy look glamorous and iconic
and you can make it to what you wanted to be.
And it's very much giving Americana a very much like
this is.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
America, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
We're prideful, we are cowboy chic, and that's where she's
deriving it from.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
So maybe that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
You know, Paris is known for fashion and high fashion
and very.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Much like you know, style grace in their own way.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
But the cowboy Carter vibe and the movement that y'all
brought that y'all fits.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
You know, y'all represented for the States, even though we were.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Going through it right now, you know, you know, but
y'all are represented, you know, And so'll was like a
messaging of her music, Like of course I've listened to
the album a million times, but it was something about
watching her perform the songs and hearing the lyrics, like
there's a message in her music and it's so just
(05:15):
one part for what's going on right now, Like it
really so everybody, you'll even go listen to the lyrics.
I mean, it's just very it's she's making a statement
and I love that. So you feel like she's evolved
through her music, because I feel like that's what some
naysayers say, is like, you know, she hasn't evolved.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
She's the same, beyond you.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Sheffer like sure, she's like making a stand. She's like
basically saying like she belongs to be in country music.
This black people started it like this is where we belong.
Oh yeah, she gave you a listen. It was so
much from.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
To the present.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
She had cyrus on the air like it was just
it was. It was beautiful.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Thanks so y'all Miss jay Z. I feel why jay Z.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Couldn't come out on June on the third night, even
on the first night, so she was there for three nights.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
So y'all warmed up. Y'all warmed it up for everybody.
I love that. It was beautiful though it was.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
I love Harris. Paris is a is a beautiful city.
And we ate off Ashley. Yes, all the restaurants Ashley picked,
they were perfect, amazing, The food was amad the.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Every day Yeah, I ate it. It was good.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
You know what is which is dope about French cuisine,
Like that's what I'm graduating.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
In is in French culinary, which.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Ye okay, so you know what I mean, Like they
just the epitome of grace, Like where do you think
we get the word from Valet? Like very the opulence
and the royalty that comes from France, you know, cafes
and croissants and you know all these different things like
just the elevated culinary experience. So I know exactly what
(07:19):
you guys are talking about, because they're just the way
that you know from learning in the culinary space, the
type of because.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
The Brounois and the Julianne, all.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
These things are derived from French culinary and French opulents.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
So I know y'all were eating good. So I want
to give a.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Shout out to yea to Suelo Paris, Sulo Sulo Paris.
They actually got in a day late, but they hosted
us for dinner. And when I tell you, they laid
it out for us, the drinks, the food. It was beautiful.
The food was so good. So shout out to Sulo
(07:56):
Paris for hosting us. When we got there, it was beautiful.
Wife sick agents. I love that. Yes, And of all
we turned places into like karaoke spots. We had little
We went to a shisha lounge, we turned it out.
We had the owners out partying with us. Ashley missed it.
(08:19):
What's the other spot we went to start with them?
Mona Mona, I think it was Monach. They hosted us.
Shout out to them. They gave us a you know, bottles,
they laid out the carpet for us when we got
there too, So the Karen showed us some love while
we was out there.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
That's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Did you all get to do any safety and like
go to the Chondaalisee or I think then to Paris
like a few times. I didn't really like need to
do all that again. But but yeah, I mean, and
we were in like in and out.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
We don't think there for a couple of days.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
So I went there for the food and beyoncept for.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
A little shopping. I love it. I love it, yes, ladies.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
But apparently we were staying staying next suit, I never
heard Emily and I kept getting all these these Instagram
messages about old Emily in Paris or something.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Is it a show or something?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
You get that that's where.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Emily in Paris is at, Like.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
So where wherever we were staying at was one of
the places that she was at as well.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Because everybody we was like, we are everybody coming here
taking pictures?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
But that was and when I was walking, I was like, okay,
let me look into Emily in Paris.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
One of my favorite hotels in Paris is the Li Maurice.
That's one of my favorite favorite places. My memories there,
So what kind of memories you got there? Let I
got engaged there, my first ga my first engagement was there.
I mean, I'm gonna have my first in my last,
(10:11):
but my first engagement was at the Lemeries, So I
like it. They're like their lounge that they have there.
It's one of my favorite places. It was just beautiful
we had. Yeah, Paris is gorgeous. Yes, we're gonna have
to plan. That's a humble Boddy strip. Yes, the retreat
we still have. The retreats need to plan. We haven't
(10:33):
forgot about y'all. The retreat is coming.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
We got to get on it. Lex. Enough about us.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
What you've been doing, girl, I have been chefing it
up in the restaurant and Smith and Websters just really
in my bag, literally, just really just.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
In my elements.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Every day has been NonStop as far as just going
and being creative and just being a presence in the kitchen.
I found a new passion into it now to the
point of where I'm just like, Okay, now I see
why I'm here, I see my purpose, and I'm just
really gravitating to that space.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
And I've just been elated, like people have been coming
through and.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Coming through having the food and chopping it up with me,
and it's just been really really like purposeful, and I'm
just proud of myself with this progress because this is
my first time in a basically a commercial kitchen and
to be in this restaurant like high volume space and
to really know that I did so much work to
(11:38):
like learn and to really you know improve my craft.
This externship has been right on time for just the
growth of Alexis. So I'm just like more than an
ecstatic of this, like really being in the space and
really understanding now and having more respect for every the
ladies and the gentlemen that are in the white coats
(11:58):
now that are behind this scene is navigating because people
depend on us for food, nourishments, excitement and all the
ambiance and really just the curated experience.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
And it's just ignited the spirit of me of just.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Like wanting to like now take off creatively and in
the culinary space of what's needed. So stay tuned for
more because it's just it's going down. I'm just it's
been it's been great to be in my element, you know,
like my lane. I have time now to like really
focus on like my dreams and my goals, and it's
happening in real time.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
So it's been. It's been dope because it is good. Proud.
I can't wait because I'm ready to eat some Chef
Lates food. I'm ready to it's going down, going down
to plan that coming sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, here we are.
I'm expecting. Well, we get well, we don't have some
(12:54):
stuff coming up this weekend. Y'all ready. I hope y'all
know the lyric. What what's going on? It's time I
check out. What's the man on the street.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
That's that's me. So I get to chop it up
with y'all. We're gonna turn up, have some fun. Have
you know it's black tie. Oh I'm ready, all right,
need too? You ready yet?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Not yet? Okay, but we'll have to dress. It's too
little simple, but I'm gonna make it work. Yeah, it's
it's black tie, you know, like show up and show out.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
You know, it's it's time to like really have that
that black excellence in that black the culture. You know.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
I love beautiful.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
When he did you told me about this what he
did his first one in Atlanta, I was like, he
need to go on tour.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
And when I see the tour, I was like, Oh,
I got to get my tickets. I got to get
my tickets. I'm excited Atlanta to Miami.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Lord Jesus, I been raving Atlanta like old Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Yeah, why is that we're in Miami.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
I have a lot of friends that are born and
raised in Miami. Have a battle at least once a
year at a cookout at somebody house, and we just
do Atlanta music versus Miami music. And I really be
having to hold it down for really, it's a big difference.
It's a different Atlanta. It's gonna beat y'all every time.
(14:45):
So this for me is everything.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Like I can't wait. I cannot Yeah, I'm super excited up,
Like you know.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Yeah, I hope everyone like shows up, you know what
I mean, like dress up. We don't ever get to
like really dress up. And since there's the orchestra and
since there's just us, we gotta we gotta get.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Y'all Cause y'all know, I love my I love us,
But I know what you got to say. We're gonna
do right this time. We're gonna show up. We're gonna
have on our downs. The guys they're gonna have on
their taxes.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
It's a beautiful date night or girls for for us.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
So it's gonna be good. They're gonna show up, We're
gonna be cute.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
You know, we're gonna look real sophisticated, and we're gonna
be rapping them lyrics to the symphony and.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Yeah, you know, it's it's concert season.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I feel like, you know, y'all just coming back from
Beyonce and it's just like every couple of weeks, it's
like concert after concert.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Chris Brown's coming at the end of July. Can my
tribe wants to go to that? And She's like, y'all
want me to chaperone because I have a kind of
voice read.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
She has a small baby tour. I was trying to
Nyomi sharing y'all know I'm listening to her. That's found yeah, yeah,
But she got a concert.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
It's going to be in New York at the end
of July. I'm trying to make it so well, ye we are.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
I'm going to Morgan Wallen. It was almost three weeks
with a Ray. Oh, I don't know. I'm going with
a Ray so we shall see. This is Oh. She
turned twenty birthday.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Can't your birthday?
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Ray, I just can't believe I have a twenty year old. Like,
it's just at this point, she ain't your daughter no more,
that's your sister.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
She's gonna ever be my sister, my daughter, my daughter,
my baby because you haven't been through the most together.
You know, there's something about the older that's that's a joke.
But I don't, like, I ain't getting I'm not getting older.
You're getting old.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
And so at this point we're sisters. Now. Yeah, she
gets a little upset when, you know, we go out and.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
We're like, oh, that's your sister. She's like, now that's
my mom. I'm like, you my biggest hater. Be your home, kidden.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
That's what I'll be telling my daughter.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Girl.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
You getting older, I'm still staying my same age. You must. Okay,
I know that's right.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
But let's get into it, y'all. We had so much
going on now. We got to talk about what's going on.
What we've been seeing in the media about people breaking
about the soft life, soft love versus struggle love, the
rebrand of suffering and silence. Everywhere you scroll, someone is
pushing the soft life agenda luxury, leisure and men who
(17:58):
pay bills without questions.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
But behind the filters there's another side.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Women still playing ride or die for men with excuses
not execution. We've romanticized survival so so much that anything
less than suffering feel selfish. But let's be real, some
of us have been mistaken chaos for chemistry and calling
it loyalty. The Internet says we want peace, but our
(18:25):
dms say otherwise.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Why do y'all think.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Women still tolerate potential and men when it really pays off?
But before we go into that question, what do y'all
think about that? Like the whole the soft life agenda
and behind filters there's another side?
Speaker 1 (18:47):
What do y'all feel about that? Well?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
I think that well, soft life is definitely hold on.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Can y'all see you too? Okay?
Speaker 2 (18:58):
I think soft life is like just like one of
those things that social media like made up and blew
up and it's like it's it can be real, but
it's I feel like at this point though, it's just
something that social media has put on this pedestal and
it's something that you should, you know, work to try
to get to and if you don't have it then
(19:19):
you ain't shit, you know, And I really hate that
about it. It's always like there's always something that's you know, trendy,
and right now it's the soft life thing, right, But.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
There is a real side to it.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
The real side to it is these girls aren't really
living this life like they are doing all kinds of
things behind the scenes to make it look like to
have this illusion of a soft life.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
You know, they might be I don't know, you know,
doing things for money.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
That you know they go a little bit exactly. So
it's like you just never know what these women are doing.
And I hate that because young ladies don't know the difference.
Some people just don't know the difference between what's real
and what's not, especially on social media.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
But I mean, I think we.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
All should want to live a true soft life. We
all deserve to live a soft life. We all, like,
I think that is you know, beautiful that we're tapping
into this soft life. I guess trend because for so long,
I feel like, especially for black women, it was all
about being strong and independent and that was wearing us
(20:35):
then and wearing us out. So you know, while I
do think, you know, we need to be careful with
these trendy ideas of how we should be living and
what we should be portraying on social media. I do
think that it is beautiful to see black women, especially
moving into this more soft life space and getting away
(20:56):
from I got to be an independent woman and I
got to do it on my own and by donor
ain't shit.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
So it's too side to it. It's two side to
it as always.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Yeah, to your point, Ashley, I agree with you as
far as well in general, we have been struggling, especially
Black women, for a long time. Where we have been breadwinners,
we suffer. We are the nourishing ones, we are feeding,
we are doing everything and always been overlooked. I look
at it as it's a double edged sword. The fact
(21:29):
that you know, you see this soft light, you see
this this glamorous life on Instagram. But we have to
remember it's Instagram. It's an instant, it's a snapshot. It
can be filtered, it can be AI generated. All these things.
To me, it goes back to bringing it as self
care or like, you know, love for yourself. So whether
it's like attainable to be like let me just say this,
(21:53):
like a bath or going to the spa, or even
solo dining, going to eat by yourself. All these things
can be considered soft life too. But what we're doing
is we are gravitating to the advertisement of like a
man providing you know, X, Y and Z this opulent lifestyle.
And we're starting to realize that again, like you said before,
(22:15):
what are you doing? What are you doing for this?
And it's not all that all that glamours. Are you happy?
Is it temporary satisfaction? Is it just like you know,
you're the flavor of the month, Like what are the
long term goals?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
What are the long.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Term like benefits of it? Because it looks like it's
just short term satisfaction. And some women like because men
have you know, portrayed the soft life or they women
portray the soft life for Instagram so much like like
you's said, you don't know what's going on behind closed doors,
Like is it really worth it to portray this so
(22:51):
called soft life when really you're hurting deep down inside?
So sometimes you have to reevaluate things. Is it really
worth it? No, one person who I do love looking
at and I really do feel like she really is
living a soft life. I don't know if y'all follow
her Schayla ray World on Instagram. She's married to a
(23:14):
white guy. Their age she's forty and I think he's
like seventy two.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
She's a black female.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
And her husband is white, and it's just like they're
talking about their chemistryt is so cute and she gets
a lot of hate, but she eats it up on
social media.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
I love she portrays the soft life world very well.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
So if anybody I'll watch on the Instagram, I definitely
do pay attention to them and give them some my
time because I just love that story. Well, it's like
to each their own. As long as she's happy, this
is what is destined for her. This is where her
situation is, her marriage, her relationship, and good for her.
You know, I feel like everyone has destined to their
(23:57):
own paths, and the goal is someone to support whatever
your path is, you know, and whatever you and your relationship,
you and your partner come up with as far as
what is for you and vice versa, what what you
need for this marriage, whatever that looks like that relationship.
That's that's the ultimate self soft life where you can
(24:18):
really love your partner, they can love on you. Y'all
can do what you you can be yourselves within a relationship.
So to me, that's the that's the ultimate soft life,
you know what I mean? Where it's she seems like
she she would be happy. She's happy in her situation,
despite their age difference, despite being inter racial, all the
hate that they're getting.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
She's living her best life. And ultimately, you who wants
a hard life?
Speaker 2 (24:42):
You know we only get one time at it, you know,
So if she's happy, I mean, I think every woman
wants a soft life.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Ship. I want a fucking soft life. I'm tired of
being hard.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
I'm tired of showing that a strong black woman, I
can do this and I can do that as that.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Yeah, but you're also not gonna take me right now single.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Well, well I'm in the particular way.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Thank you, Thank you. Listen.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
I love the life I'm living right now. The life
I'm living right now is definitely giving soft life. Yeah,
thank you.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
I'm glad.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
I can.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
I can see what's going on. Fine, I could feel
it now. It's funny, Okay, going what all right? Moving forward?
Speaker 2 (25:49):
So why do you think women still tolerate potential and
ny when it rarely caves off? We're investing, don't you
want to like if you're taking the time, we're hopeless romantics.
We're like, you know, it's were getting frustrated with the
ones that we could be with or taking the time
(26:10):
to invest in and pour into. So like I feel like,
you know, we getting into the point of like where
we're choosing and what were we tolerating and what is
worth it?
Speaker 1 (26:19):
You know, our time, our everything, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
So I just look at it like, hey, you know,
if I'm investing you, we are putting time limits. I
mean I don't want to speak for everybody, but there
are certain time limits, time limits, and like these portions
of like you know, okay, is this a situationship?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Is this just sexual? Is it? What is this leading to?
What's the goal? Is it intentional?
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Is this just another fuck boy? Like we're starting to decipher,
like what is taking up our time? You know, because
we're balancing work and family and life and all these
goals and all these other things. So you know, is
it settling? You know, I don't think so. But we're
just not going to tolerate some bullshit. I think we
are set in our confidence and our independence too, to
(27:07):
where it's like is it really worth it?
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Our peace and everything we worked hard for.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
And you know I've said this that before, but most
black women, for example, we own our homes.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
We have more our homes than you know, our single
black men.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
So it's like, you know, we have benefits, and we
also are put on this beautiful pedestal of like you
got to come in and try to be attainable to us,
you know. So I don't think it's really about settling
and really just like you know, we're not playing around either.
But you know, this is for women who still tolerate
(27:42):
potential and men. I feel like I don't want to
still tolerate the potential and men. I feel like women
who still tolerate the potential in men it's because they're
afraid to start over, like they put in so many years,
or they see something in that man that they want
out of them, something good, So eventually they tolerate that
(28:03):
person so much because they think that they're gonna change. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
I think that some women might do that too, because.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
We're kind of I feel like our culture, we're taught
to like give people.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
A chance and like you know, wait it out and.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Stick by your man and by his side, and like
we're taught that, you know what I mean, I feel like.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
I don't know. Yeah, good Man got a lot.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Cultures like the peas are like he's the one, he's
the good one, He's comes from a good family, his
family got money, blah blah blah, Like they have like
their guidelines of what a man should be and they
got to check off the marks.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Where I feel like in our culture is more like, well, he.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Has the potential, he seems like he's gonna be this,
and you know what I mean, it's like we have
if we're taught to, you know, speak the potential instead
of seeking somebody who's already there and you.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Know, checks off all the marks from the boxes.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Which I think it's just really strange that our culture
is still kind of that way, you know.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
I feel like we're kind of moving out of it
to women.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
I feel like we are, but I still feel like
there's something different in our culture in that way. But
I feel like even when we move out of it,
it seems like we get criticized even more by moving
away from it, like we know it's not going to
pay off with we had enough, we realized that we're
not going to tolerate them, anymore, and then once she
(29:40):
makes the decision to actually then get out.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Sorry, y'all, I'm yelling at my Yeah, it's crazy there, No,
do not do that. Don't do that. I'm not playing
with you. You know what I was saying.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
You say, it's like when we start to move away
from that situation or you know, we don't want to
tolerate the potential anymore, and we see we know that
we there's better out for us, we get criticized for it. Oh,
they can't keep a man. Oh this that the third
(30:25):
it's like, you know, you want better, you deserve better.
But but and that's where women who stay because they
don't want the public you know what everyone else want
to hear what everyone else have to say. So it's
the society pressure that they get. So that's another reason
I think why. Yeah, Yeah, it is societal, Like as
(30:50):
she said, it's also generational. It's your family, it's your church,
it's all these things. It's very much a lot of pressure.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
So is there a way to truly experience soft life
while being in a committed relationship with someone who's still
figuring life out?
Speaker 1 (31:10):
I think so.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
I think can you make a soft life what you
want it to be, you know. So, And I think
there's different levels to soft life and different versions of
soft life. And so if you're with somebody who's I
guess I don't know about figuring life out because that
feels a little like you shouldn't even be in a
(31:32):
relationship if you're trying to figure life out. But I
have to understand somebody, you know, building their life still,
you know, still having goals and that they're reaching and
y'all they're doing it together. So I feel like together
will reach different levels of your soft life.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
You know, that's okay. Have y'all think think I think
you can. I agree with Ash.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
I think you can experience a soft life with being
in a committed relationship because you're teaching people boundaries, you're
teaching them who you are, You're teaching them what you
require and vice versa. That's true. So have you ever
had to I learned the belief that struggle equals love?
M H. I don't think I've never been in no
(32:25):
struggle love relationship or I feel like if it didn't
feel good, I was like, yeah, I'm good, I'm good.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Struggle love? What are we defining a struggle love. I mean,
like one of those really chaotic, toxic relationships where it's
like maybe y'all fight all the time, but you always
get back together or something like that. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
I feel like that's struggling right there. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know that's in me, that struggle. Yeah, I
mean I feel like you can almost get into a
space of just like you know, is this for me?
(33:11):
And we get we get complacent a little bit because
you're like, oh, he gonna change or she's gonna change,
We're gonna improve because you you we hold onto hope
and you hope that your investment is gonna pay off. Right.
You can't expect it to be perfect the minute that
you know that you embark with somebody, and so it's
(33:31):
like it becomes a disappointment if you like, over so
much time and like fluid exchange and body exchange and
time exchange, financials, all these moments, I feel like you
can get caught up and want to be like, Okay,
I'll just overlook this little thing. But then that little
thing over time becomes larger, you know. So I mean
(33:54):
it's bittersweet. It's just like it depends on what I
think what stage you are in life. I feel like
I don't want to speak for y'all, but I know
we're not going to tolerate so much at this level
of success and independence and also just what we expect
and what we've been experienced with love, with relationships, with family,
(34:14):
just in just these life lessons. We're not going to
lower our standards, you know what I mean, none of
us are, just because of what we've seen, what we've
been through, and what we can tolerate. We are not
playing around. So it's like the bar has already been
set high. So we're not gonna let anyone just you know,
they got to meet us there above at this point,
it's just not nego. So I understanding, like you know,
(34:38):
a lot of people are taught like the struggle of
oh he fight me because he loved me, that's nothing
but love.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Oh you know, that's time very toxic. So it's like
you have to understand, like that's not true love. That's
what it is at all. Having peace. It's okay to
have peace in a relation relationship.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Yeah, okay, that go through a relationship and not fight
not aren't you right?
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, you know you look at it.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
It's like I always say this, like you don't realize
that God is really counting your tears. So when he
does remove you from, you know, a situation, it's not
for nothing.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
You know, it does definitely hurt because we're human. But
at the same time, it's like, Okay, it's for a
reason we shouldn't be we shouldn't be feeling like this,
should not be feeling like heavy, you should not be
feeling unwanted or any of that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
But no, we can't be living in a toxic environment.
It's not conversive. A good old soft life's seeing mm
hmm tillosoft other feather he little soft.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Is there a way to truly experience soft life while
being in a committed relationship with someone who still fixed
We already answered that.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Yeah, we just said say we did that.
Like get in my way, never out of my lad
It's like you won and.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
The more one.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
So it is gonna be.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Joor lady wait LEI yes we are, y'all go back. Actually,
I don't say a few things that you learned while.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
We were in PERI we I learned girl Girstal song
song so know my favorite.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I was like that time, no, say what you're saying.
They was like, you should say it like that, that's
kind of rude.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
But I said, ex say why, yes, Crystal.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Like me.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
We had such an amazing time. Yeah, yes, tell the
people weren't you were? Let them know.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
When I went to see the Cowboy Carter show in Paris,
it was just so amazing.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I swear that show was better than Renaissance. I didn't
think that was possible.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
To top the Renaissance show. It's like I wasn't expecting that.
I was like, okay, it's country. I mean, it's it's
but I didn't expect it to be what it was.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
I mean, she really performed.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
The mic was on, Honey was singing, singing okay, and
she gave both songs from the Renaissance and she brought
out Miley Sirs and like some of her old. I
mean she performed for three hours straight.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Yes it was.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
It was beautiful for real part of to be high.
So we need to hear from Shrell. Listen, Okay, actually
can vouch for me sitting right next to me, and
I had the time of my life, like I was
all into it.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Like Beyonce, when you.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Go to her concert, it's like it's a whole performance,
it's entertainment.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
It's like you're mesmerized.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I don't know what the hell Beyonce me doing, but
it's something that captures you into her where it's not
a doll moment. There was not one doll moment at
her concert like it was. It was so beautiful, it
was well performed. Everyone did amazing. My girl Blue showed
out with her little dancing, her walking like baby Blue.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Blue came back and said, y'all ain't gonna talk about
me no more. I'm about to show y'all I was
given at, so give me at. I love it.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Do you all feel like watching Beyonce overseas in the
city of love like Paris Paris?
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Do you feel like it was a different energy compared
to like watching her in the States. We always make
a trip of it.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
So we saw Renaissan in Toronto, so we try to
like travel to see her because I mean, I've seen
her show like locally and it's great, but it's something
about being somewhere different and like making a trip with
your friends.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
It just makes it like ten times more special.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
But I will say I did expect a little bit
more from the Corsian crowd as far as their looks.
I would expect them to see like, you know, just
head to toew Cowboy Carter down, and it wasn't given that.
But I feel like it was more tourists there than
(03:57):
the actual ues.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I feel like it was.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
It was so many tourists that came to the show
in Paris. It was crazy, you have. It was like,
oh my gosh, oh I lie, help that okay because
I found this water and y'all right.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
But you know what, but low key, I think that.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Beyonce Hey has made the Cowboy look glamorous and iconic
and you can make it to what you wanted to be.
And it's very much giving Americana a very much like
this is.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
America, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
We're prideful, we are cowboy chic, and that's where she's
deriving it from.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
So maybe that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
You know, Paris is known for fashion and high fashion
and very.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Much like you know, style grace in their own way.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
But the cowboy Carter vibe and the movement that y'all
brought that y'all fits.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
You know, y'all represented for the States, even though we were.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Going through it right now, you know, you know, but
y'all are represented, you know, And so'll was like a
messaging of her music, Like of course I've listened to
the album a million times, but it was something about
watching her perform the songs and hearing the lyrics, like
there's a message in her music and it's so just
(05:15):
one part for what's going on right now, Like it
really so everybody, you'll even go listen to the lyrics.
I mean, it's just very it's she's making a statement
and I love that. So you feel like she's evolved
through her music, because I feel like that's what some
naysayers say, is like, you know, she hasn't evolved.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
She's the same, beyond you.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Sheffer like sure, she's like making a stand. She's like
basically saying like she belongs to be in country music.
This black people started it like this is where we belong.
Oh yeah, she gave you a listen. It was so
much from.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
To the present.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
She had cyrus on the air like it was just
it was. It was beautiful.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Thanks so y'all Miss jay Z. I feel why jay Z.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Couldn't come out on June on the third night, even
on the first night, so she was there for three nights.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
So y'all warmed up. Y'all warmed it up for everybody.
I love that. It was beautiful though it was.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
I love Harris. Paris is a is a beautiful city.
And we ate off Ashley. Yes, all the restaurants Ashley picked,
they were perfect, amazing, The food was amad the.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Every day Yeah, I ate it. It was good.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
You know what is which is dope about French cuisine,
Like that's what I'm graduating.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
In is in French culinary, which.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Ye okay, so you know what I mean, Like they
just the epitome of grace, Like where do you think
we get the word from Valet? Like very the opulence
and the royalty that comes from France, you know, cafes
and croissants and you know all these different things like
just the elevated culinary experience. So I know exactly what
(07:19):
you guys are talking about, because they're just the way
that you know from learning in the culinary space, the
type of because.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
The Brounois and the Julianne, all.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
These things are derived from French culinary and French opulents.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
So I know y'all were eating good. So I want
to give a.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Shout out to yea to Suelo Paris, Sulo Sulo Paris.
They actually got in a day late, but they hosted
us for dinner. And when I tell you, they laid
it out for us, the drinks, the food. It was beautiful.
The food was so good. So shout out to Sulo
(07:56):
Paris for hosting us. When we got there, it was beautiful.
Wife sick agents. I love that. Yes, And of all
we turned places into like karaoke spots. We had little
We went to a shisha lounge, we turned it out.
We had the owners out partying with us. Ashley missed it.
(08:19):
What's the other spot we went to start with them?
Mona Mona, I think it was Monach. They hosted us.
Shout out to them. They gave us a you know, bottles,
they laid out the carpet for us when we got
there too, So the Karen showed us some love while
we was out there.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
That's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Did you all get to do any safety and like
go to the Chondaalisee or I think then to Paris
like a few times. I didn't really like need to
do all that again. But but yeah, I mean, and
we were in like in and out.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
We don't think there for a couple of days.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
So I went there for the food and beyoncept for.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
A little shopping. I love it. I love it, yes, ladies.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
But apparently we were staying staying next suit, I never
heard Emily and I kept getting all these these Instagram
messages about old Emily in Paris or something.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Is it a show or something?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
You get that that's where.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Emily in Paris is at, Like.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
So where wherever we were staying at was one of
the places that she was at as well.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Because everybody we was like, we are everybody coming here
taking pictures?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
But that was and when I was walking, I was like, okay,
let me look into Emily in Paris.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
One of my favorite hotels in Paris is the Li Maurice.
That's one of my favorite favorite places. My memories there,
So what kind of memories you got there? Let I
got engaged there, my first ga my first engagement was there.
I mean, I'm gonna have my first in my last,
(10:11):
but my first engagement was at the Lemeries, So I
like it. They're like their lounge that they have there.
It's one of my favorite places. It was just beautiful
we had. Yeah, Paris is gorgeous. Yes, we're gonna have
to plan. That's a humble Boddy strip. Yes, the retreat
we still have. The retreats need to plan. We haven't
(10:33):
forgot about y'all. The retreat is coming.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
We got to get on it. Lex. Enough about us.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
What you've been doing, girl, I have been chefing it
up in the restaurant and Smith and Websters just really
in my bag, literally, just really just.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
In my elements.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Every day has been NonStop as far as just going
and being creative and just being a presence in the kitchen.
I found a new passion into it now to the
point of where I'm just like, Okay, now I see
why I'm here, I see my purpose, and I'm just
really gravitating to that space.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
And I've just been elated, like people have been coming
through and.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Coming through having the food and chopping it up with me,
and it's just been really really like purposeful, and I'm
just proud of myself with this progress because this is
my first time in a basically a commercial kitchen and
to be in this restaurant like high volume space and
to really know that I did so much work to
(11:38):
like learn and to really you know improve my craft.
This externship has been right on time for just the
growth of Alexis. So I'm just like more than an
ecstatic of this, like really being in the space and
really understanding now and having more respect for every the
ladies and the gentlemen that are in the white coats
(11:58):
now that are behind this scene is navigating because people
depend on us for food, nourishments, excitement and all the
ambiance and really just the curated experience.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
And it's just ignited the spirit of me of just.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Like wanting to like now take off creatively and in
the culinary space of what's needed. So stay tuned for
more because it's just it's going down. I'm just it's
been it's been great to be in my element, you know,
like my lane. I have time now to like really
focus on like my dreams and my goals, and it's
happening in real time.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
So it's been. It's been dope because it is good. Proud.
I can't wait because I'm ready to eat some Chef
Lates food. I'm ready to it's going down, going down
to plan that coming sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, here we are.
I'm expecting. Well, we get well, we don't have some
(12:54):
stuff coming up this weekend. Y'all ready. I hope y'all
know the lyric. What what's going on? It's time I
check out. What's the man on the street.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
That's that's me. So I get to chop it up
with y'all. We're gonna turn up, have some fun. Have
you know it's black tie. Oh I'm ready, all right,
need too? You ready yet?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Not yet? Okay, but we'll have to dress. It's too
little simple, but I'm gonna make it work. Yeah, it's
it's black tie, you know, like show up and show out.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
You know, it's it's time to like really have that
that black excellence in that black the culture. You know.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
I love beautiful.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
When he did you told me about this what he
did his first one in Atlanta, I was like, he
need to go on tour.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
And when I see the tour, I was like, Oh,
I got to get my tickets. I got to get
my tickets. I'm excited Atlanta to Miami.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Lord Jesus, I been raving Atlanta like old Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Yeah, why is that we're in Miami.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
I have a lot of friends that are born and
raised in Miami. Have a battle at least once a
year at a cookout at somebody house, and we just
do Atlanta music versus Miami music. And I really be
having to hold it down for really, it's a big difference.
It's a different Atlanta. It's gonna beat y'all every time.
(14:45):
So this for me is everything.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Like I can't wait. I cannot Yeah, I'm super excited up,
Like you know.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Yeah, I hope everyone like shows up, you know what
I mean, like dress up. We don't ever get to
like really dress up. And since there's the orchestra and
since there's just us, we gotta we gotta get.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Y'all Cause y'all know, I love my I love us,
But I know what you got to say. We're gonna
do right this time. We're gonna show up. We're gonna
have on our downs. The guys they're gonna have on
their taxes.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
It's a beautiful date night or girls for for us.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
So it's gonna be good. They're gonna show up, We're
gonna be cute.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
You know, we're gonna look real sophisticated, and we're gonna
be rapping them lyrics to the symphony and.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Yeah, you know, it's it's concert season.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I feel like, you know, y'all just coming back from
Beyonce and it's just like every couple of weeks, it's
like concert after concert.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Chris Brown's coming at the end of July. Can my
tribe wants to go to that? And She's like, y'all
want me to chaperone because I have a kind of
voice read.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
She has a small baby tour. I was trying to
Nyomi sharing y'all know I'm listening to her. That's found yeah, yeah,
But she got a concert.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
It's going to be in New York at the end
of July. I'm trying to make it so well, ye we are.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
I'm going to Morgan Wallen. It was almost three weeks
with a Ray. Oh, I don't know. I'm going with
a Ray so we shall see. This is Oh. She
turned twenty birthday.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Can't your birthday?
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Ray, I just can't believe I have a twenty year old. Like,
it's just at this point, she ain't your daughter no more,
that's your sister.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
She's gonna ever be my sister, my daughter, my daughter,
my baby because you haven't been through the most together.
You know, there's something about the older that's that's a joke.
But I don't, like, I ain't getting I'm not getting older.
You're getting old.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
And so at this point we're sisters. Now. Yeah, she
gets a little upset when, you know, we go out and.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
We're like, oh, that's your sister. She's like, now that's
my mom. I'm like, you my biggest hater. Be your home, kidden.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
That's what I'll be telling my daughter.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Girl.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
You getting older, I'm still staying my same age. You must. Okay,
I know that's right.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
But let's get into it, y'all. We had so much
going on now. We got to talk about what's going on.
What we've been seeing in the media about people breaking
about the soft life, soft love versus struggle love, the
rebrand of suffering and silence. Everywhere you scroll, someone is
pushing the soft life agenda luxury, leisure and men who
(17:58):
pay bills without questions.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
But behind the filters there's another side.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Women still playing ride or die for men with excuses
not execution. We've romanticized survival so so much that anything
less than suffering feel selfish. But let's be real, some
of us have been mistaken chaos for chemistry and calling
it loyalty. The Internet says we want peace, but our
(18:25):
dms say otherwise.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Why do y'all think.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Women still tolerate potential and men when it really pays off?
But before we go into that question, what do y'all
think about that? Like the whole the soft life agenda
and behind filters there's another side?
Speaker 1 (18:47):
What do y'all feel about that? Well?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
I think that well, soft life is definitely hold on.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Can y'all see you too? Okay?
Speaker 2 (18:58):
I think soft life is like just like one of
those things that social media like made up and blew
up and it's like it's it can be real, but
it's I feel like at this point though, it's just
something that social media has put on this pedestal and
it's something that you should, you know, work to try
to get to and if you don't have it then
(19:19):
you ain't shit, you know, And I really hate that
about it. It's always like there's always something that's you know, trendy,
and right now it's the soft life thing, right, But.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
There is a real side to it.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
The real side to it is these girls aren't really
living this life like they are doing all kinds of
things behind the scenes to make it look like to
have this illusion of a soft life.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
You know, they might be I don't know, you know,
doing things for money.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
That you know they go a little bit exactly. So
it's like you just never know what these women are doing.
And I hate that because young ladies don't know the difference.
Some people just don't know the difference between what's real
and what's not, especially on social media.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
But I mean, I think we.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
All should want to live a true soft life. We
all deserve to live a soft life. We all, like,
I think that is you know, beautiful that we're tapping
into this soft life. I guess trend because for so long,
I feel like, especially for black women, it was all
about being strong and independent and that was wearing us
(20:35):
then and wearing us out. So you know, while I
do think, you know, we need to be careful with
these trendy ideas of how we should be living and
what we should be portraying on social media. I do
think that it is beautiful to see black women, especially
moving into this more soft life space and getting away
(20:56):
from I got to be an independent woman and I
got to do it on my own and by donor
ain't shit.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
So it's too side to it. It's two side to
it as always.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Yeah, to your point, Ashley, I agree with you as
far as well in general, we have been struggling, especially
Black women, for a long time. Where we have been breadwinners,
we suffer. We are the nourishing ones, we are feeding,
we are doing everything and always been overlooked. I look
at it as it's a double edged sword. The fact
(21:29):
that you know, you see this soft light, you see
this this glamorous life on Instagram. But we have to
remember it's Instagram. It's an instant, it's a snapshot. It
can be filtered, it can be AI generated. All these things.
To me, it goes back to bringing it as self
care or like, you know, love for yourself. So whether
it's like attainable to be like let me just say this,
(21:53):
like a bath or going to the spa, or even
solo dining, going to eat by yourself. All these things
can be considered soft life too. But what we're doing
is we are gravitating to the advertisement of like a
man providing you know, X, Y and Z this opulent lifestyle.
And we're starting to realize that again, like you said before,
(22:15):
what are you doing? What are you doing for this?
And it's not all that all that glamours. Are you happy?
Is it temporary satisfaction? Is it just like you know,
you're the flavor of the month, Like what are the
long term goals?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
What are the long.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Term like benefits of it? Because it looks like it's
just short term satisfaction. And some women like because men
have you know, portrayed the soft life or they women
portray the soft life for Instagram so much like like
you's said, you don't know what's going on behind closed doors,
Like is it really worth it to portray this so
(22:51):
called soft life when really you're hurting deep down inside?
So sometimes you have to reevaluate things. Is it really
worth it? No, one person who I do love looking
at and I really do feel like she really is
living a soft life. I don't know if y'all follow
her Schayla ray World on Instagram. She's married to a
(23:14):
white guy. Their age she's forty and I think he's
like seventy two.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
She's a black female.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
And her husband is white, and it's just like they're
talking about their chemistryt is so cute and she gets
a lot of hate, but she eats it up on
social media.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
I love she portrays the soft life world very well.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
So if anybody I'll watch on the Instagram, I definitely
do pay attention to them and give them some my
time because I just love that story. Well, it's like
to each their own. As long as she's happy, this
is what is destined for her. This is where her
situation is, her marriage, her relationship, and good for her.
You know, I feel like everyone has destined to their
(23:57):
own paths, and the goal is someone to support whatever
your path is, you know, and whatever you and your relationship,
you and your partner come up with as far as
what is for you and vice versa, what what you
need for this marriage, whatever that looks like that relationship.
That's that's the ultimate self soft life where you can
(24:18):
really love your partner, they can love on you. Y'all
can do what you you can be yourselves within a relationship.
So to me, that's the that's the ultimate soft life,
you know what I mean? Where it's she seems like
she she would be happy. She's happy in her situation,
despite their age difference, despite being inter racial, all the
hate that they're getting.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
She's living her best life. And ultimately, you who wants
a hard life?
Speaker 2 (24:42):
You know we only get one time at it, you know,
So if she's happy, I mean, I think every woman
wants a soft life.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Ship. I want a fucking soft life. I'm tired of
being hard.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
I'm tired of showing that a strong black woman, I
can do this and I can do that as that.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Yeah, but you're also not gonna take me right now single.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Well, well I'm in the particular way.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Thank you, Thank you. Listen.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
I love the life I'm living right now. The life
I'm living right now is definitely giving soft life. Yeah,
thank you.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
I'm glad.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
I can.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
I can see what's going on. Fine, I could feel
it now. It's funny, Okay, going what all right? Moving forward?
Speaker 2 (25:49):
So why do you think women still tolerate potential and
ny when it rarely caves off? We're investing, don't you
want to like if you're taking the time, we're hopeless romantics.
We're like, you know, it's were getting frustrated with the
ones that we could be with or taking the time
(26:10):
to invest in and pour into. So like I feel like,
you know, we getting into the point of like where
we're choosing and what were we tolerating and what is
worth it?
Speaker 1 (26:19):
You know, our time, our everything, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
So I just look at it like, hey, you know,
if I'm investing you, we are putting time limits. I
mean I don't want to speak for everybody, but there
are certain time limits, time limits, and like these portions
of like you know, okay, is this a situationship?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Is this just sexual? Is it? What is this leading to?
What's the goal? Is it intentional?
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Is this just another fuck boy? Like we're starting to decipher,
like what is taking up our time? You know, because
we're balancing work and family and life and all these
goals and all these other things. So you know, is
it settling? You know, I don't think so. But we're
just not going to tolerate some bullshit. I think we
are set in our confidence and our independence too, to
(27:07):
where it's like is it really worth it?
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Our peace and everything we worked hard for.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
And you know I've said this that before, but most
black women, for example, we own our homes.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
We have more our homes than you know, our single
black men.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
So it's like, you know, we have benefits, and we
also are put on this beautiful pedestal of like you
got to come in and try to be attainable to us,
you know. So I don't think it's really about settling
and really just like you know, we're not playing around either.
But you know, this is for women who still tolerate
(27:42):
potential and men. I feel like I don't want to
still tolerate the potential and men. I feel like women
who still tolerate the potential in men it's because they're
afraid to start over, like they put in so many years,
or they see something in that man that they want
out of them, something good, So eventually they tolerate that
(28:03):
person so much because they think that they're gonna change. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
I think that some women might do that too, because.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
We're kind of I feel like our culture, we're taught
to like give people.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
A chance and like you know, wait it out and.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Stick by your man and by his side, and like
we're taught that, you know what I mean, I feel like.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
I don't know. Yeah, good Man got a lot.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Cultures like the peas are like he's the one, he's
the good one, He's comes from a good family, his
family got money, blah blah blah, Like they have like
their guidelines of what a man should be and they
got to check off the marks.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Where I feel like in our culture is more like, well, he.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Has the potential, he seems like he's gonna be this,
and you know what I mean, it's like we have
if we're taught to, you know, speak the potential instead
of seeking somebody who's already there and you.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Know, checks off all the marks from the boxes.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Which I think it's just really strange that our culture
is still kind of that way, you know.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
I feel like we're kind of moving out of it
to women.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
I feel like we are, but I still feel like
there's something different in our culture in that way. But
I feel like even when we move out of it,
it seems like we get criticized even more by moving
away from it, like we know it's not going to
pay off with we had enough, we realized that we're
not going to tolerate them, anymore, and then once she
(29:40):
makes the decision to actually then get out.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Sorry, y'all, I'm yelling at my Yeah, it's crazy there, No,
do not do that. Don't do that. I'm not playing
with you. You know what I was saying.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
You say, it's like when we start to move away
from that situation or you know, we don't want to
tolerate the potential anymore, and we see we know that
we there's better out for us, we get criticized for it. Oh,
they can't keep a man. Oh this that the third
(30:25):
it's like, you know, you want better, you deserve better.
But but and that's where women who stay because they
don't want the public you know what everyone else want
to hear what everyone else have to say. So it's
the society pressure that they get. So that's another reason
I think why. Yeah, Yeah, it is societal, Like as
(30:50):
she said, it's also generational. It's your family, it's your church,
it's all these things. It's very much a lot of pressure.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
So is there a way to truly experience soft life
while being in a committed relationship with someone who's still
figuring life out?
Speaker 1 (31:10):
I think so.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
I think can you make a soft life what you
want it to be, you know. So, And I think
there's different levels to soft life and different versions of
soft life. And so if you're with somebody who's I
guess I don't know about figuring life out because that
feels a little like you shouldn't even be in a
(31:32):
relationship if you're trying to figure life out. But I
have to understand somebody, you know, building their life still,
you know, still having goals and that they're reaching and
y'all they're doing it together. So I feel like together
will reach different levels of your soft life.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
You know, that's okay. Have y'all think think I think
you can. I agree with Ash.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
I think you can experience a soft life with being
in a committed relationship because you're teaching people boundaries, you're
teaching them who you are, You're teaching them what you
require and vice versa. That's true. So have you ever
had to I learned the belief that struggle equals love?
M H. I don't think I've never been in no
(32:25):
struggle love relationship or I feel like if it didn't
feel good, I was like, yeah, I'm good, I'm good.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Struggle love? What are we defining a struggle love. I mean,
like one of those really chaotic, toxic relationships where it's
like maybe y'all fight all the time, but you always
get back together or something like that. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
I feel like that's struggling right there. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know that's in me, that struggle. Yeah, I
mean I feel like you can almost get into a
space of just like you know, is this for me?
(33:11):
And we get we get complacent a little bit because
you're like, oh, he gonna change or she's gonna change,
We're gonna improve because you you we hold onto hope
and you hope that your investment is gonna pay off. Right.
You can't expect it to be perfect the minute that
you know that you embark with somebody, and so it's
(33:31):
like it becomes a disappointment if you like, over so
much time and like fluid exchange and body exchange and
time exchange, financials, all these moments, I feel like you
can get caught up and want to be like, Okay,
I'll just overlook this little thing. But then that little
thing over time becomes larger, you know. So I mean
(33:54):
it's bittersweet. It's just like it depends on what I
think what stage you are in life. I feel like
I don't want to speak for y'all, but I know
we're not going to tolerate so much at this level
of success and independence and also just what we expect
and what we've been experienced with love, with relationships, with family,
(34:14):
just in just these life lessons. We're not going to
lower our standards, you know what I mean, none of
us are, just because of what we've seen, what we've
been through, and what we can tolerate. We are not
playing around. So it's like the bar has already been
set high. So we're not gonna let anyone just you know,
they got to meet us there above at this point,
it's just not nego. So I understanding, like you know,
(34:38):
a lot of people are taught like the struggle of
oh he fight me because he loved me, that's nothing
but love.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Oh you know, that's time very toxic. So it's like
you have to understand, like that's not true love. That's
what it is at all. Having peace. It's okay to
have peace in a relation relationship.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Yeah, okay, that go through a relationship and not fight
not aren't you right?
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, you know you look at it.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
It's like I always say this, like you don't realize
that God is really counting your tears. So when he
does remove you from, you know, a situation, it's not
for nothing.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
You know, it does definitely hurt because we're human. But
at the same time, it's like, Okay, it's for a
reason we shouldn't be we shouldn't be feeling like this,
should not be feeling like heavy, you should not be
feeling unwanted or any of that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
But no, we can't be living in a toxic environment.
It's not conversive. A good old soft life's seeing mm
hmm tillosoft other feather he little soft.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Is there a way to truly experience soft life while
being in a committed relationship with someone who still fixed
We already answered that.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Yeah, we just said say we did that.
Host
Shannon Sharpe
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