Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Comedy Central. You know, it's a damn
shame that crime has gotten so bad in this country
that a pastor can't even live scream his Sunday sermon
while wearing a million dollars worth of jewelry in the
middle of car Nazi Brooklyn, in front of a poor,
starving congregation week after week without worrying about being robbed.
(00:23):
You know what they say, The Lord giveth and niggas
taketh away. I'll go body name with God. And it's
been a hell of a week, queen, nowlan, let's get
it all the man being honest. All right, welcome to
(00:51):
hell of a week. We got a new show title,
but I'm keeping that same calling out the bullshit so
you don't step in it energy, Okay. I'm honored to
be joined tonight by one of the greatest panels in
late night m of course I'm gonna say that because
it's my panel. He's a writer, columnists and podcaster, which
I'm told is no longer a job you have to
be embarrassed about. It's the host of the Conversation with
(01:11):
Coleman podcast MC noise for Coleman. Huge yall, how you
feeling for meany good? Right, She's led so many Democratic
candidates to the primary playoffs that she should get a
thirty for thirty. Please welcome political strategists in New York
Times bestselling author of Any Given Tuesday, Liz Smith MCS
noise Listen to y'all, how are you list? I'm young? Okay,
(01:38):
and last, but was certainly not least. His new stand
up special Infamous, made so much money that the only
recession he knows is the name with the script where
he made it rain on at his bakelt Please welcome
my friend, host of the Flagrant To podcast and Brilliant
Idiots comedian Andrew shotz Hapsy. How you feel? I'm good, man,
(02:00):
I'm good. I don't I don't even know where to begin. Man,
it's been a hell of a week man. The Biden
administration has offered the trade a Russian arms dealer named
the Merchant of Death in exchange for w NBA star
Brittney Grinder. That would be historic because it would be
the first w NBA trade any of y'all evercat about
all right, that's good, but let's talk about the real
story tonight. Topic one. Now, I was watching the view
(02:25):
the other day and uh Mars Chestnut was on there
making some really good points. Let's watch. Wow. I agree,
Morris chance Nut is one of the better looking man
I've ever seen in my life. I agree. I agree
on that, and I agree with MARKA that Liz Cheney
is not a hero. Okay, with that said, I want
to ask my panel what is she look None of
(02:47):
us pay a price for criticizing Trump, for criticizing the
big lie. We don't lose friends, we don't lose job opportunities.
She lost all of that and she's probably gonna lose
her job. And that's the definition of courage is to
do the right thing when it doesn't benefit you, when
it hurts you. So she's principled. Wow, I disagree with Liz.
(03:08):
I'm gonna say I'm not going to say she's a hero,
but I'm gonna say she is an ally when we
need one most. This is about the future of our democracy.
This is about a president who tried to steal in
an election, incited a violent insurrection, and of the Republican
Party is too cowardly, to your point to um stand
(03:32):
up to him because they know there's a political price
and at least she's doing that, so I will accept
her as an ally at the moment. I don't think
you can say somebody's trying to preserve democracy if they
voted against voting rights though, like she voted against John
Lewis voting rights after January six. Look, but she could
have had a lot of reasons for doing that, like say,
you believe she don't want black people to vote. So um, Look,
(03:53):
when me and my friends went down to the capital
in January six, you know, we were trying to uphold democracy.
Were in a strange way, in a strange way. You know,
we did our best. Yeah, yeah, uh. And then now
you have Liz Cheney who looks like the old man
from up Yeah, NonStop about what we did, calling us
(04:15):
traders work exactly, and when she really wanted to be
out there with y'all, thank you with the Viking hat on.
That's right, that's right. She's not a hero, Okay, if
you don't want black people to vote, you could never
be a hero. Also, she did not vote on abortion
legislation and praise the Supreme Court for striking down Roe v. Wade.
What do you say about that? List? All right, let's
(04:35):
move on to all right, now, after sixty years of
imminent warnings the environment has become about his toxic, his futures.
Music Right, with a growing number of environmentalists, want to
look the same to the US by encouraging us to
eat Bucks Right. Even celebs like Lupete and the Young Gold,
Angelina Jolie and Nicole Kidman are swapping out there moning
(04:56):
cereal for cinnamon toast crickets. If this was finally going,
it does get serious about climate change, Like we're okay
with California burning down, but a number one from cock
roach filet as a bridge too far. I eat ass b.
I'm not worried about cockroaches. I'm not worried about crickets.
(05:18):
I'm not worried about nothing. I eat. Asked you, we're
gonna do what we gotta do to survive. Not I
do it for fun. I'm not even surviving. I have
dinner and then I eat it for dessert. Yeah. Yeah,
so I'm not worried about cock roacheck what say you look?
As a Democrat, this issue frustrates me because I do
not think we effectively communicate about it, and because I
(05:41):
love my fellow American people, but we all have to
admit we are a selfish people. The only thing I
care about is here now, what's right in front of them?
So how do we communicate about climate change to um
make it madder for them? Well, we talked about Hurricane Sandy,
how it destroyed their homes and now they're flood and
earns it's two thousand dollars of months that was because
(06:03):
of climate change. Liz, do you want to eat bugs?
And not? No? And you know why not? You know
why because I'm doing one better for the for the planet.
I'm a vegetarian and that's the best thing you can
do for the plants, the bugs. I'm gonna eat the bugs.
You're gonna eat the bug. Just want to say something.
You're eating the bugs food. That is true, bug the plants, right,
(06:24):
So you're not doing any better? I'm you want to
raw dogging with the fingers? Absolutely, okay, come all live
you're on the left. Come on, I'm not I'm not
Come on, I'm a vegetarian. What do you mean they're
plant based, especially the vegetarian plant based delicious. I'm all
Colemanious'm all coleman. That's actually not that bad, allman? Did
(06:49):
you want not anyone. Oh, it's kind of good. Where
did you Where did you get these? Though? Huh? Where
did you? Don't? Hummy, I just eat mosquitoes. Where did
you get the goddamn in six? Don't hum? I don't
know where they came from. I don't know what you
buy bugs in the city. I mean there's a lot,
there's a lot of That's the one I ate was
not that bad. I will listen. Here's the thing. There
(07:10):
are countries that eats all the time. This is the
it's a normal thing. One thing. They come here so
they can stop eaning bugs't They come here and they
clearly start selling them. And maybe we're being biggots. I know,
there's one thing's for showing two things. For certain Biden,
Pelosi and Trump won't have to worry about eating bugs
because by the time this actually becomes a thing, bugs
will be eating them. All right. Oh, Topic three, you're
(07:40):
all right by you? Okay. World renowned amateur guy of
college is Nick Cannon said this said this on the
Lift Service podcast. I have to start with the woman
on the panel lateral. Should we take Nick's word on this,
um my word on it. My advice to him is
that he needs to shut the funk up. Let's go
(08:02):
blin right. And and the other thing I'd like to
say to the women of America maybe stop letting him
and pregnant you. My daddy used to say, if it
smells like Colonne, leave it alone. If it smells like fish,
(08:22):
eat all you wish. I have no idea what that means. Uh.
My panel is sticking around. Up next, we're talking about
homophobid hippo Christ and later in the show, TEENA. Thompson
will be joining me. Well hell of a Week. In
just a minute, welcome back the hell of a Week.
(09:01):
I go body name of Chalomane the guy and he
got come and use Liz sniff and as he salts
are And you know it wouldn't be a late night
talk show without a game. We named this one after
what Chloe Kardashian said, every time Tristan comes home, fuck
him off, forgive him fuck m off. On July nineteenth,
(09:22):
Republican from Pennsylvania, Glenn Thompson voted against gay marriage alongside
a hundred and fifty six of his Republican peers, but
unlike them, three days later, Thompson went to his gay
son's gay wedding to another gay man. Maybe this was
his final attempt to stop the wedding, but the last
he ended up doing the chatout slide like everybody else.
(09:43):
So I have a simple question. Is Thompson a hypocrite
or is he able to vote as he pleases. We're
going to start with you, Oh man, what do you say?
Fun'mna forgive him? Fuck him. He's a hypocrite. Can you imagine?
Can you imagine voting against protections for interracial marriage then
going to your son's in interracial wedding three days later? Like,
(10:05):
how are you going to look at the wife for
the husband in this case? It's it's it's hypocritical, Okay, Liz,
fuck him, fuck him hard, Yeah, total fucking hypocrite. It's
it's it's like rights for me. Yeah it was a
good fuck. Okay, yeah, thank you, thank you, you're a
good fun It's like rites for me, but not for
(10:29):
the And he's taking him away from he wants to
take him away from thousands of people in Pennsylvania while
he is sipping that champagne, eating those you know, I'm
a vegetarian, those hot dogs in the bun. What are
you calling pigs? Pigs up a blanket and like looking
at at what people have bought on his son's like
targets target gift list. So fuck him. Yeah, y'all called
(10:51):
Glizzie though, Liz, whenever you reference the dog is called
a vegetarian. So you know, were you a vegetarian? You're
a Glizzie gladiator. That's right, Lizzy Gobbler, So her fuck
him off? Forgive him? So what are we doing for
a living? Uh? Forgive him? Okay, Okay, listen, his son
(11:17):
is gonna get divorced in five years and go to
his dad. Like you tried to help. Okay, you did
everything you could. You tried to legally stop my wedding
from happening. Above and beyond, I didn't listen to. Now
I'm worth half like he did everything in his power. Okay,
So yeah, I thank you. Forgive him. So you did
the right thing for your son. You're trying to protect
your son. So we got two folks and to forgive
from the panel. Also, also, the dad is probably raising
(11:40):
this kid his whole life, going Thank god, I don't
have to pay for his wedding because he's a guy
and the woman's family pays for the wedding. Then he
goes that work. Well, if you're the bottom, that's the rule.
I am not touching this with a tempo, Paul, since
this is the only democracy on late night, Okay, I'm
going to ask the audience, right but all of y'all
can't yell out on TV. So if you vote, make
(12:03):
some noise right now. If you vote forgive them, make
some noise right now. The married Mary people, wow, Wow,
the married people, Charlotte. Well, the crowd has spoken. We
say fuck him, okay, which is actually one of the
most progressive things a scrape man can advocate for on TV.
(12:24):
I am an ally let's fuck him. We gotta take
a break up. But before we go, I want to
thank my panelist Colman Hus, Liz Smith, and Andrew so
Teeny Thompson is joining me when we come back, boy
Hell of a Week in just a minute. Hey, welcome
(12:57):
back to Hell of a Week Now. My next guest
is an Emmy Award winner for his work on Saturday
Night Live and the longest tenured cast member in the
show's history. Please welcome Tendon Thompson. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
my brother. I'm not gonna I was a little concerned
(13:17):
about you, brother, because I recently saw you on Mike
Tyson's podcast. Man, I was worried about myself. Let's check
it out. Yes, now did you did you fear for
your life in that moment? Well, I mean, nobody wants
to upset Mike Tyson. What I'm saying, we all played
point you'all this time. Yeah, it's not how you want
(13:39):
to start to day. But I know him. You know
what I'm saying. That's that's my brother, you know what
I'm saying. So it was more like an older brother
trying to make his point, you know what I'm saying,
like to his little brother's life. But it was shocking
for me to hear that from him, you know what
I'm saying. And like, I don't know I lately, I've
just been on that continual like we need to talk
more about the uses of that word. I believe I
(14:01):
understand what you were trying to say. That's why I'm
intentional about saying peace, King, peace, queen, you know what
I mean, Bring the brotherhood. Why do you think that
word is such a low vibrational work. It allows for
the disrespect of our culture to the point where it's
detrimental to the point where you're getting looked at as
either a threat or less than or someone to be
(14:22):
not you know, treated as you know, someone who is
feared when you're getting pulled over by the police or whatever,
and all these reactions with like life and death situations.
I don't know, I can't continue to just see people
grabbing their phones when these things go down and nothing happens.
But we just want to continue to just be lazy
about the conversation of it all. You know what I'm saying.
I'm not saying like I'm telling everybody to stop right now.
(14:43):
I don't ever say that word again. I use it,
you know, when I'm being casual and I'm around you know,
friendly ears or whatever. But it reflects upon the innocent,
you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I mean, it's a
struggle not to use it, man, because sometimes there's no
other words to describe the niggers. It is a little
viberation the word. It's too much blood attached to that
word for ever be a real term of endearment. You
(15:04):
know what I mean, A thousand percent, And I don't
think anybody that's you know, already on the outside of
treating people you know, in our culture with respect or whatever,
are just gonna, you know, switch up because they're gonna like, oh, now,
I use that word in a different kind of way.
I don't see that like every real happening. I agree. Now,
Chris Rock, you know, he was on with my man
Kevin Hart on Heart to Heart and uh, he told
(15:25):
Kevin Hart that after SNL for a minute, black audiences
were a little distant from him, and he used the
term white famous. Another former SNL Castember had to show
white famous, my man, Jake fail, because you have been
on SNL for so long, have you ever felt that way?
I actually do. I mean, I think I'm a bit
of a conundrum because I had been working before I
(15:46):
got there, so I still have a lot of you know,
in word love from my Nickelodeon days and stuff like that.
But what I'm saying, and like I just I already
had a lot of love coming into SNL as far
as like the hood is concerned, you know what I'm saying,
or the real people, you know what I'm saying, Like
I I raised all y'all, you know what I mean,
And like yeah, so like I mean, it's true, but
(16:09):
we're not gonnact like Good Burger wasn't big enough. At
the same time, I do run into people on the
street and be like, what you've been at? And I'm like,
I'm on every week. It's like, now I ain't talking
about that. I'm talking about movies and listen, like you
still talking a little bit more about SNL. I know
they're celebrating their fiftieth anniversary and three seasons, and the
(16:31):
rumor is the show is ending at its fiftieth season
because Mr Lord Michaels doesn't want to do it after
age eighty? Is that true? Is that the rumor? That
is the rumor, that's what the streets are saying. All right,
well I need to start planning. Um, you already are,
come on, cause some changes come on now. I'm just kidding, UM.
(16:51):
I mean, there could be a lot of validity to
that rumor, because fifty is a good number to stop at.
You know what I'm saying, that's an incredible package. You know,
he's the one that's had his touch on the whole thing.
So if somebody tries to come into his shoes, you know,
it's a good opportunity for NBC to save money as well.
You know, what I'm saying. So maybe they might slash
the budget and then at that point you can't really
(17:12):
do the same kind of show. So that's so you're
saying the show could not go on without Lord Michaels.
Is what's they saying. I'm not saying that. I'm just
saying it opens opportunity for a lot of bullshit to
come into the game because he's such a legend that
he keeps off those like corporate wolves, if you will,
not to call them wolves. But it's business, you know
what I'm saying. They spend a lot of money on
that show every week. It's an expensive show, but it's
(17:34):
a one of a kind thing. It's the only one,
you know what I mean. And you know live from
New York, you know what I'm saying. Are you Are
you planning for the future, because you do have your
production company? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we work it. We got projects.
But but did you do that, because you know S
ANDL has done in a few years. No, No, I
did that just because it's one of my aspirations, you
know what I mean, to become a producer and put
(17:55):
people to work. So we're getting real busy with that
with our you know artists for art Company and yeah,
you know, I'm a big advocate of the mental health. Man.
I love the new show you're doing based on the
Instagram feed my therapist set. Yeah, yeah, ye, shout out
of lowler man, that's what's up? What about that project
appealed to you? Like? Yeah, mental health is you know, hypercritical,
especially these days. I mean we witnessed it almost on
(18:16):
a weekly you know, if not every other day kind
of basis when something horrific happens or whatever. Yeah, you know,
I'm a big advocate of speaking on that. I know
you do too, absolutely. Yeah. What do you do to
you know, reduce your anxiety? There was a strange smell
coming from the back of the studio. What wasn't a
little loud smells and smell aloud? I don't know. I
(18:36):
took a walk. I don't know. I don't know what.
It's nice out, it's warm outside. Yeah, it's time square.
I don't know where he took that walk at all.
Cousins take that Thanksgiving right before dinner? Yeah, that that
uncle walk? That uncle. Hey, Kennan, thanks for pulling up.
I appreciate man. More. Hell of a week when we
come back, coming back. Well, I think we covered all
(19:13):
the bass tonight, right right, Yeah, we went everywhere, from
the ballot box the smelly box, because apparently both climate
change and bad vaginal hygiene have reached epidemic levels. I cannot,
in my right mind no called Liz Cheney a hero
for her efforts to prosecute Trump for the January six insurrection.
(19:34):
If your awoke on January six with dead sleep on
voting rights, you can't be a hero for our democracy. Now.
If Liz is a hero, then I identify as a
six six power forward with Dreds that has a nine
nine rating on NBA two. K Okay, and who knew
that we'd be seriously discussing the prospect of eating bugs
(19:56):
for our survival. Well, at least we know that Nick
can they won't survive the bug apocalypse because he's used
to eating things that grows him out. I'll be back
next Thursday, maybe with all new guests and another episode
of Hell of a Week. I go by the name
of Salomage to God. Hey, so be sure to listen
(20:22):
to Hell of a Week with Charlemagne to God wherever
you get your podcast. This has been a Comedy Central
podcast