All Episodes

May 17, 2021 6 mins

In this episode of Commencement: Speeches for the Class of 2021, comedienne, podcast and television host Nikki Glaser brings her signature wit to tell the class of 2021 what a real education looks like and how to stay focused on what they love.

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
To the class of and the family, friends, teachers, and
neighbors who helped them along the way. Congratulations, he did it.
Graduation might look a little different this year, and it'll
almost certainly feel different, But whether you're celebrating with a
small in person crew or gearing up for another virtual event,

(00:28):
this is your moment, which is why we're bringing you
the commencement you deserve, full of wisdom to help you
step into the real world and enter a brand new normal.
Ready to get inspired, put your hands together for one
of this year's incredible commencement speakers, the one the only
Nikki Glazer m I hate graduates of it's comedian and

(00:59):
podcast US host Nikki Glazer. I just wanted to say
a couple of things that I wish people would have
told me when I was graduating from high school, college,
bartending academy. I never went to one of those. This
is a graduation commencement speech for everyone. Whether you're graduating
from school to a new job, to a just a

(01:22):
new world. Graduation means you're going to the next step.
It's scary. So this is for anyone out there who
is transitioning in life changing living situations, changing cities, you
moved out an apartment that you were very comfortable in.
You are about to go somewhere that it is not comfortable.
You're about to be out of your bubble and good
job getting to the point where you know it's time

(01:43):
to go. Maybe some of you that's the school wouldn't
let you go and make it a six year program
when it's really a three year degree and we already
gave you two extra years. We can't go a sixth devon.
Or maybe you're graduating middle school and no one really
cares that much because everyone focuses on high school and college,
and you feel like you're kind of getting the short

(02:03):
end of the deal. You are hopefully people will still
care when you graduate from high school or college, it
gets more and more exciting. Although I did go to
my high school graduation, I did not go to my
college graduation because it nearly didn't happen. So this is
also for people who aren't graduating college and maybe should
be this year. I don't want you to feel like

(02:24):
you have to turn this off because you're not a graduate.
First of all, college is great that you did it,
but it's kind of stupid. It's just like this thing
we have to all do to prove that we are
smart enough to do jobs that you know, don't require
someone being going to this much class. And let's be honest,
I didn't go to this much class. I relied heavily
on spark notes throughout the mid two thousand's. I did

(02:46):
acquire that English degree without reading a full book during
my four years. But that's because I already knew I
wanted to be a stand up comedian and I just
wanted to get that paper to succeed. So if you
didn't get the paper, it's okay. There are other ways.
Find something you of and just learn as much as
you can about it. That's my advice. Read lots of
books and just do something you love. And I know

(03:06):
it's scary. The next step, you're like, what do I
want to beat? What do I want to turn this into?
Just wait for it to come. Try lots of things.
And if you don't find a way to make money
and choose a job in a field that makes you
happy as most people can't, that's okay. Try to choose
something then that is like the easiest for you to
do that you're like, okay, I don't hate this, then
go into that, then all your other things in your

(03:28):
life should be things you love. If you can't make
that what your job is. But if you can't make
it what your job is, attempt to career a stand
up comedy and then you know, eighteen years down the line,
realized that maybe that was the best job for you
when you were eighteen. But um, you know, it's maybe
an industry that probably wouldn't have been as suited for
you as let's say, animal rescue. I'm talking about no
one specifically, but listen, I am a vegan, and uh,

(03:49):
if you're interested in that lifestyle, I mean, look into it.
Don't ask me. I'm not an expert. I just like, uh,
you know, care about animals and stuff and just stopped
eating them, even them. But it's the right thing to do.
That's all I can say. Really, I've written down some
notes for you the next four years. I could say
two graduates of high school or graduates of middle school
the next four years or it's like so important, but

(04:09):
they're not. They're like so fun. You're still so young.
Please enjoy being young. I know that's hard for you
to understand, and everyone says it because I was you before.
People were like, just enjoy being young. But like I
just like didn't think I would age. So just I'm
a reminder to anyone young listening. You will age. It
will happen, So enjoy this. This is a very um
important thing that you are going to be depressed, guaranteed

(04:32):
in the future. All Right, It's okay to be depressed.
It's a normal feeling. First of all, get helped for that.
It's gonna happen. You're gonna feel sad, You're gonna have defeats,
you're gonna feel uncertain that your dream, that you have
this lofty dream that's you know, a few people said
you couldn't do, but most people supported you. But they're
kind of like talked about it behind your back. You're
trying that and it feels stupid. Whatever that is, whether

(04:55):
it's a job or pursuing just literally anything, just try
to just stay the core and keep your head down
and keep doing it because if it makes you happy,
that's all that matters. It doesn't matter if you're good
or not. And by doing it enough, you'll just get good.
That's the beauty of of doing something. So if you
love something and you suck at it, just keep doing
it and you you'll eventually get good. That's my advice.

(05:17):
Read lots of books, look into meditating, Tell the people
that you love that you love them. Work towards that.
I know it's sometimes hard. You've never said I love
you to your dad. That's a very common thing, even
though you do love him and he loves you too,
but you can't say it. Work towards maybe being able
to tell him someday, not today, not tomorrow, but some
day well down the road. And that is my life

(05:37):
advice for you that I kind of wish other people
would have told me. And also, get the HPV vaccine
because why not. Oh and I wish for you all
to tune into my podcast daily Monday through Thursday on
I Heart Radio. It's called the Nikki Lazer Podcast, and
it is just exactly the kind of ramblings you just heard.

(05:58):
I hope you'll be there for it. See there, and
good luck out there, guys. Congratulations. Can you can find
the collection of an incredible commencement addresses from all your
favorite speakers at the Commencement Podcast on I Heart Radio

(06:21):
or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Dateline NBC
Stuff You Should Know

Stuff You Should Know

If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2024 iHeartMedia, Inc.