September 1, 2022 • 29 mins
Cultural identity is so important to our sense of self, but it can be challenging to feel connected to it if you live away from your home country. How can we maintain our connection with our cultural heritage? And how can we hold onto multiple cultures at once? This week, Eva is joined by fellow actor and star of ‘The Gordita Chronicles’, Diana Maria Riva, to explore what it means to be American while maintaining the cultural identity from another country at the same time -- and how being connected to your cultural heritage can help you better connect to other people and their cultures.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, Welcome back to Connections with Eva Longoria. I'm Eva Longoria,
and you know, I've been doing all of these episodes
because I love seeking connection and everything that I do.
And so today's episode was something that burst out of
a project I did, and it made me think about
(00:22):
this idea about connections to our identity, connections to our
home country, connections to a country some of us may
never have been, like connections to our nationality or cultural identity.
And I directed a show called God the Chronicles about
Dominican family who moves from the Dominican Republic to the
(00:44):
United States and now they have to navigate that identity.
And one of my best friends is the lead of
this show, Diana mariar Riva, And we always have these
conversations because like her, I'm a hyphen it I'm Mexican American,
She's Dominican American. And so we straddle that hyphen of
(01:07):
uh living in two identities all the time. Like it's
not like people your half you're half Mexican, your half American.
I'm like, now I'm a present Mexican and a hunter
percent American at the same time. And so we navigate
life sometimes with people constantly going but where are you from? No?
But really, where are you from? And Diana and I
(01:29):
have had this conversation many times, and so I want
to welcome her to the show. Welcome the Anna, Maria Riva.
Thank you. I mean I could introduce you with listing
all of your acting credits, but I think the biggest
title you have in my life is romana. She's my amana, Yes, that,
(01:50):
and that is a title that I hold near and
dear to my heart. We have a sisterhood. Dana and
I've known each other for so many years and we
met within thirty seconds, where like I are You're gonna
be best friends? And um and through the years we've
had how many times have we had this conversation? And
specifically you because those to those of you listening and
may not know what Diana looks like. She has this
(02:13):
Midwest accent, and she has dark skin and this beautiful
curly hair, and I think she gets it more than
I do. Like where are you from? So tell people
where are you from? I am all the way from
the Latino saturated state of Ohio. I was born and
(02:35):
raised in Cincinnati, Ohio, and it was definitely a time
where there was no one that really looked like me,
had hair like mine. In my community, it's changed very
much at this point. It's grown a lot. And in
my school, nobody spoke two languages. Nobody spent their summers
in a foreign country visiting their family. So, um, that's
(02:55):
a little bit of a synopsis of my little background.
And you spent your summers in the Dominican Republic, right.
I am so grateful that every single summer I would
tell my parents I'm going with my Mana and Papa,
my grandparents, I'm going to the d R for the summer,
and they let me go, and I would miss out
my the all three months of summer in Cincinnati to
(03:15):
spend it completely submerged in the capital in Santiago with
my family, with my cousins, just living day to day,
going to camp. One year, I left school early and
finished there, and that kept the language alive, that kept
the connection with my family alive. That I mean, you
could drop me in the Dominican Republic and I would
know where to go and how to get there. And
(03:36):
with the culture not being really present in the community
that I was raised in, it was wonderful to go
back every summer and keep that alive in my heart
and soul. So what do you think your connection is
to your identity? How do you define yourself? You know,
I've always said that I'm a woman with an American
mind that a Latin soul, and I think it's just men. Watch. Yeah,
(04:03):
there's a lot of passion in there, and there's a
lot of history to that passion, and I feel that
it's part of what made me in my youth stand
out in a way that made me uncomfortable because I
didn't know how to identify it. But growing into a
young woman and then into a mother adult, I feel
(04:25):
that it is what I've embraced the most. Non what
I'm most proud of, that passion, that vibrance that's in
my history, that's in my vein and my bloods in
my in the generations before me, I feel come out
of my hair, come out of my face, come out
of my skin tone. And I embrace it and I
love it and I'm proud of it. And so I
feel like I'm a beautiful mix. So take me all
(04:47):
or take me none at all. Yeah, And I think,
you know, we as humans just try to put everybody
in boxes, and so Okay, you're this, You're Latina, right, Okay,
you're Italian and got it. You and you're like, well,
I am kind of complex. The route is not linear.
That's the biggest thing is that the route is never linear.
(05:08):
And I will tell you this. When I grew up,
I didn't come to Los Angeles and I was years old,
and up until that point, any demographic box that I
had to check only gave me in Ohio, white, black,
or other. So I just thought those were the choices.
When I moved out to Los Angeles at five and
I filled out I think I was getting my driver's
license and it said white, black, Hispanic Latino, non white Latino, white,
(05:32):
Chicano Latino. I was like, wait, I didn't know there
were so many subcategories and yes, and and and to
this day when I look at it, it still gets
me because I swear every year they had another one.
And I love that there's so much recognition of it,
but it's it's also proof that it is a combination.
It is never linear. Yeah. The reason I wanted to
(05:52):
have this conversation about what our connection should be is
because I feel like, specifically when it comes to the
United States, this melting pot today, and you know, historically
has been seen as like it's a bad thing that
you're mixed, right, bad thing that you check. You check
to that other box. Oh you're another, Like, well, I'm
(06:15):
not other, I met right, you know. How do you
how do you think that affects how American society views us? Well?
I think I think that there are too many preconceived
ideas and thoughts about what come with one background or
the other. But I do feel that that's the richness
of our country is that we have the we have
such a melting pot, and to never go into anything
(06:36):
assuming that one person is one thing or the other,
and how they identify or what their history is or
what their background is, I feel like that's the lesson.
The lesson is to listen and hear what their story is,
because one Dominican story is not the same as the others.
And that's something that I loved about going through the chronicles.
Every immigrant story is as diverse as the immigrant themselves.
(07:00):
And that's why in this country we get very locked
up in categorizing and the stereotyping um When everybody's story,
even if your background is from the same country, your
story and your your journey is different, and I think
the most important thing is to not get locked into
what is preconceived. I think that is a big problem
(07:23):
within American society and globally, and that's why our jobs
in the media is so important, right, Like, because if
we keep perpetrating those preconceived notions in storytelling, then I
think people have no choice but to believe that about
a certain culture. Right Yes, yes, there, I mean we're
we're there to tell stories and not just one. We're
(07:44):
there to tell as many stories as we can, um,
from as many different perspectives as there are, and that's
what makes entertaining. Do we take artistic license? Well, yes,
that's why it's called art. How do you how did
you raise your kids? You have two beautiful kids, and
(08:06):
do they get any like? Are you Latina? Like? What
did you instill in your your children as far as
their connection to identity? Yes, I have two beautiful children.
As you said, I have a son who is his
final years of college and a daughter who's just about
to fly the nest. And I'm dealing with that and um,
(08:27):
they both, the two of them, you know, we were
they were born and raised here in Los Angeles, with
no family. I don't have any other family here, so
all of our family was outside of the state. And
the most important thing for me was family connection. That
is a dynamic in many cultures, but of course it's
very it's a huge dynamic in the Dominican culture, in
the Latino culture. And spending my entire summers with my
(08:50):
family was my thing. So how did I want to
bring that to my children living three thousand miles away. UM,
And that started with going back to Ohio twice a
year with the bulk of my family. Was to spend
those holidays with them and them coming out here and
making sure that they were raised wanting and desiring to
spend time with family the Dominican Republic. The same thing
(09:14):
started taking them to the Dominican Republic and they still
have UM. Quite honestly, an entire flew of family to
meet in the d R. We don't get a chance
to see them, but they definitely see how the culture
is and and the vibe is and what we believe in.
They hear a speaking Spanish when we're in the Dominican Republic.
So my children saying the culture was really about just
(09:35):
keeping the family element alive it's very easy to get
isolated out here, and I'm happy to say it's not happened.
Do they embrace that Dominican side? Oh yeah, they love it.
You know, in California you do not have to take
a foreign language more than two years. And I told them, okay,
you're gonna take it for four. Why because our first generation,
(09:59):
your second you need to hold on or embrace this
language as much as you can. I know you're not
saturated in it, but it needs to be alive in you.
And so they did. They did take to it very well.
It was difficult for them because we're not in a
home with parents or grandparents that are speaking in on
a regular basis. But they had an appreciation for it.
And I'll tell you what, when we go to the
Dominican Republic and they are submerged in the language, they
(10:22):
do appreciate being able to understand a good amount of it.
They're not as fluent, but they, you know, they can't
get by And those little things like that are important
to me. Keeping the culture alive, sharing with them my
childhood stories, showing them pictures, and hopefully continuing the traditions. Yeah, well,
you know they say that we're born into cultures, but
(10:45):
we're not born with culture. Culture is something that we learned.
I agreed, right, Like I learned I learned how to
make flower tortillas because that's where I'm from, from Texas,
and we make flower tortillas. When I married that who's
a Mexican from Mexico, he was like, why are you
making flower tortillas? Nobody eats flower. If you're a real Mexican,
you don't need flower toy. They eat cornty. We have
(11:05):
this corn flower debate every day in my household. And
I said, because I learned how to make flowerer DEAs
and that's part of my culture. And um, and I
love that everyone has a culture and it doesn't even
have to be you know, we're talking about national identity
because you and I straddle that hypeen, but like culture
is any way of life or values and beliefs and
(11:27):
attitudes that we have. Like sometimes it's your religious culture.
Sometimes it's your sexual orientation culture, sometimes it's your occupation.
We're in the actor culture. You know, it's like like
I'm culturally Catholic. Yes, yeah, I haven't heard it that
put that way, And that is let me tell you
when you're taking off on an airplane like I was
the other day, and I found myself making a sign
(11:48):
of across. I'm pretty I don't even know what's the
last time I've been to church. I'm sorry. I mean,
I'm sorry if you're up there listening to me. But
I'm just like, but I'm making the sign of a
cross when the wheels go up. Oh yeah, yeah, hedge
in your's That's what I call it. But there was
something comforting in that culture identity for me. Like I
loved that I grew up with pinatas at every party,
(12:09):
right like I love that I grew up with rice
and beans. I loved that I grew up with spanglish,
right like I didn't even know what the word for.
I went to the dermatologist of the day and I
had a I still don't know a mancha. It's not
a stain, it's a mark, a mark. I was trying
to tell the dermatologists, I have sun spots, That's what
I was trying to say. And I couldn't say sun spots.
(12:31):
And I was like, I have like a una mancha
right here, it's a mancha. He was like, you have
a lot, like I don't even know. I don't know
the English word for spot, a spot spot, and he's
like sun spot, and I'm like a concerning I. I
feel the same way. There are days when my brain
will tell me there is no better way to be
(12:53):
effective in this moment than to say it in Spanish,
that particular word in Spanish, right, because it is just
it has far more google soul, it has far more
flavor and you know, one of the other things, not
just language. I do feel that when, for example, when
my children go reaching for the food, when they look
for those Dominican dishes that I have continued in the
(13:15):
family line here, then I feel like, Okay, it's I'm
doing my job here and keeping the culture alive in them.
I remember the first time I made a Thanksgiving dinner
for a large group of Anglos non Latino people. The
Dominican turkey is something so specific and special. It is
just absolutely you cannot compare it. It is so different
(13:38):
in flavor seating. What's the Dominican turkey? And my friend,
I cannot tell, You're gonna have to come over for
it because it's so complicated. But it's the way it
is seasoned and flavored. It takes three days to prepare
because you got lime in a brine, but the first day.
But then it's the sasson that you have to make
from scratch and has a multitude of pepper, cilantro and
(14:00):
a regulo and garlic and whatnot, and you have to
make that first, and that has to settle for a
day before you put it all over in the turkey,
and that has to marinate for a day. And it
takes three days. And nobody got this recipe from my
grandmother because of course she never wrote it down. And
I remember at one point, I was in my mid twenties.
I was like, this, this recipe is going to die
(14:21):
with her generation and we can't have it. So I
literally took a pen and paper and she had an
austerizer a blender out and she had all the ingredients
they're about to make this, And as I watched it,
I literally just drew a picture with crayons. Okay, so
up at this level of the blender I put peppers,
(14:42):
and up to this level you put garlica I am
the only one in the family at this point mother
and sisters included father too, that know how to make
this Dominican turkey, and now I'm in charge of making
it at Christmas. When I made them, but the first
time I made it for a huge group out here
in California, I was so nervous that they weren't going
to eat it that I made a regular traditional turkey
American turkey thanks Jackey and mine. They did not eat
(15:08):
the other turkey they mine, and then from then on
I had to continue making So I do feel that
we passed the culture down through food as well. It
doesn't you it's not common to be able to find
Dominican Cuban. You can find Cuban food out here in
Los Angeles, but it's not coming to find some of
those dishes. And I've had to just keep those dishes
(15:28):
alive and my children go reaching for them. Yeah. Music, music,
for sure, I had that same thing happened to me
with themals. And my aunt was the safeguard who was
like my grandma. She was the safeguard all recipes and
wouldn't tell you them by the way, even if you
we tried to ask. And and then she passed away.
(15:50):
In the first Christmas we had to do, there was
like a huge fight. You're putting the comino in the
wrong time, and the comino goes in the massa, not
in the meat. Now the comeno goes in the meat.
And there was like a whole ship show. And I
remember too, like I just eventually researched my own recipes
or whatever, and I found a wonderful one in the
New York Times. And at Christmas, I made my New
(16:11):
York Times ones and everybody was like, see now this
is authentic, and I was like, oh, I'm actually actually
that's Rick Baylis. I think I don't. I don't think
that's analysis. Like so culture can evolved, absolutely, But I also,
you know what I love. I feel like, especially in
the United States where we live, you know, we were
(16:32):
right to know who we are and where we're from.
And I think the people and the places and the
stories of our families, how they got here, where they
came from, really gives us all unique stories about who
we are. And I think when you understand that connectivity
goes beyond I'm from Texas and I'm American, like you
(16:54):
really can branch out into that history, and I think
that connects us to each other in a better way.
When you know where you're from and your diversity in
your background, you kind of have empathy of like, oh
my god, so where are you? What's your story? And
I always feel like culture leads to like, hey, what's
your story? Oh how did that happen? Oh my god,
(17:15):
your grandma had an affair? You know your And that
kind of gives me hope for more unity in this country.
That like the understanding our history and our cultural identity
can help connect us more, not divide us more. Do
you agree? I absolutely agree, And I think the key
component is first of all, knowing who you are and
(17:37):
being comfortable in your skin. And in that way I
tell my kids all the time, I said, the sooner
and you know who you are and you get settled
into your soul as to who you are and what
you want in your life, the less you will compromise
it throughout your life, the healthier your relationships will be,
and the more you will travel down that road of
what's best for you. I think that is first core.
(17:59):
We start with ourselves right, and then it becomes about
listening and acceptance. We are not like the other. We
are all unique, as are our stories. And I do
feel that the more we embrace that, the more connectivity
we do have. The better our relationships are and just
looking to each other to see what are your areas
(18:22):
of strength that may not be mine, but I can
appreciate in you and vice versa. I think, you know,
cultural identity is also important because it it influences how
we interpret and react to life, right, And I think
(18:46):
what makes our connection to culture complicated is that a
lot of these characteristics are unspoken, they were assumed. Like
you said, they're just preconceived, unconsciously developed standards. But those
standards really come from soxiety and so I think when
you're continually exposed to a cultural group, you just kind
of accept those things as it's unspoken and it's it's unconscious.
(19:09):
And so that's why I think, like really digging into
your history and going okay, where am I firmly what
does that mean? It's such a beautiful journey to take on.
I encourage everybody to kind of explore that identity if
you haven't already, and if you have, dig deeper, because
it really can influence how we view the world. My
(19:31):
mother was telling me after when Gordita Chronicles came out,
my mother started sharing more and more stories of the
things that she experienced when she came to the United States.
She was fifteen, I think at the time, and she
said that one of the things that really shocked her
is at the time, there was such a lack of
geography being taught in schools that no one knew where
(19:54):
this island was that she had come from. And they
all thought that she had come from the wild. Oh.
Like they would say things like, how does it feel
to have a telephone in your house? And I was like,
I was not in a you know, I was announce
in the in the rainforest, like I lived in a house,
And so it was just shocking to see the difference. Now.
(20:15):
I think there's been a lot of evolving since then,
but we're never finished. There are so many things that
come up that I don't know about other countries that
I want to know. I want to be open to learning,
because you know, knowledge is power, Knowledge is empathy and
acceptance of other people. Right well, I think, you know,
it's important to understand the power that cultural influences have
(20:38):
on certain groups, because it really affects how we treat
each other in the store, at the doctor's office, in
the parking lot. And I think a lot of people
are gonna have to unravel some assumptions and myths that
they have about other cultural groups. That that my husband,
who's from Mexico City, I went to high school here
in the States, and so they did the same thing
(21:01):
to him. They were like, do you have electricity in Mexico?
And he's like, this was at the time. Mexico City
is the largest city in the world. He had twenty
five million people. Like He's like, yeah, yeah, we do.
You ride horses to school? And it was like, yeah,
there's so much pollution in Mexico City because of the car.
It's like, oh my god. So like coming from Mexico City,
(21:23):
he was culturally shocked of how backwards this little town
in Washington was, you know. He was just like, where
have I landed? And how do they not have you know,
a subway? Like maybe He literally was like this is crazy,
But I think you and I like to travel, and
I do think when you travel the easiest way into
a culture because people go, oh, I don't speak the language,
I don't you know know, this is food. I think
(21:46):
you can go to India and understand the people by
eating the food. You can go to Mexico and go
I get it. I get what these people are about
through the food, because food is such an expression of
cultural identity. I do think, you know, I've been I've
been planting a payment since I graduated college and raising
children and keeping in this career. But one of the
(22:09):
things that I have not been able to do as
much as I would like to is travel. And in traveling,
I love what I learned about the culture, and the
easiest access to me with that is food. I don't
even have to travel. I can have something glorious that
I've never tasted before, and then that inspires me to
want to get to know that country and the people
(22:31):
of that country even more so, There's just food is
a unifier. Meals bring people together. They are at the
core of every celebration, whether it be a funeral or
a wedding, and I feel like that is where you
can learn so much more about a culture is through
the palette. Yeah, I agree, there's I mean, I could
(22:52):
be transported to France with a good croissante. I was like, Oh,
I get it, I get it, Yeah, salutely. And I
do think that, you see, you learn about the people
and what's important to them. I'll never forget a trip
that I took to the Dominican public recently, and I
was going to on a ziplining excursion, and part of
to get to the where we were going to the
(23:13):
very top I swear to you of the Dominican Republic.
I'd never known that the mountains were this high. And
so it was about an hour and a half travel
up a mountain, and through that mountain we were towns
with people living in them, with their whole like a
whole little city, but built into this mountain side. And
along the way it was nothing but the coffee bean
(23:36):
and cocoa bean that was just growing. Just the vegetation
was just lush and growing wildly, and you could smell it.
So the first thing is that you know you're you're
being submersed in this culture by just the wonderful smell
of the cocoa bean and of the coffee bean. And
so the the guy was telling us how this town
(23:58):
survives off of this crop, that they make their own
coffee and they make their own chocolate, and I bought
tons of coffee chocolate. It was so spiritually delightful. But
I think it was even more so delightful, not just
because it was so good, the chocolate was just divine.
But it was because I saw how it was growing,
and it affected all my senses, my side, my my smell,
(24:22):
even the visual of seeing the townspeople there and interacting
and engaging with them and seeing how proud they were
of their community and of their crop, and it just
made it that much more delightful. And I thought I
knew a lot already about that country, I learned more
in that moment. Yeah, well, it touched your heart, that's it,
more than more than your sense of absolutely was like absolutely,
(24:45):
Like I truly feel this. I'm so happy I had
this conversation with you, of all people, because you're so
in tune to that lyne to the heart of like,
our connection to two cultural identities can really heal a
lot of divides that we have in the world. Yes,
I think that the more we know, the more we
(25:08):
stand a chance. And think of it this way. Let's
say we're arguing with someone and and somebody were close
to in a relationship and they just do not argue
the way you do. They they just process so differently.
And then because you're in a relationship with this person
and you know that person is just family background, I'm
not talking just even culture. You know that in their
family they never discussed anything, they never communicated, and your
(25:31):
family talked about everything. You know at nauseam just so
much that you communicate differently. But once you understand that
about the other person in the relationship, you realize what
you have to develop empathetically and compassionately in that relationship
to understand the dynamic that you're going to have with
that person. It's not that they're doing it wrong, it's
(25:51):
just that they know it differently than you do. That
does not mean that just because my family talks about everything,
that we should always be talking. So there is a
difference there, and I feel like it's the same with culture.
The more you understand what a person's background is and
how it differs from yours, it's not a compared and
contrast by way of right or wrong. It's a compare
contrast by how to come together cohesively in a way
(26:14):
that creates better understanding. I agree. I just think you know,
connecting to yourself and your own story connects you to others.
It just does. It's just a two B two Z. Yes.
If we see each other on TV or film and
we see a family that maybe didn't have the same story,
but you connect to that character. You connect to the
(26:36):
way they deal with things, or the way they look
at things or outlook or even if it's like that's
a part of me that's missing that I desire and
you see it displayed in a character. There's something going
on there, there's something happening there where you're opening yourself
up to somebody else's way of being, and it's it's
it's the same in everyday life. Yea, I love you
(26:58):
so much and I'm happy. I'm cann did with you.
I guess I We're connected on so many We both
love to cook, we're both moms, we both are actress as,
we both are crazy. So we have a we have
a lot of communities in which we do have identities
to We're jumping a lot. We're jumping a lot of
pools together, that's for sure. We do. We do. Um.
(27:19):
I ask all my guests this, if you could recommend
a book for our listeners to read. What's one of
your favorite books? Could be novel, nonfixtion, could be whatever
you want. Okay, Well, I don't know if you've recommended this,
but a very dear friend gave me this, and I
keep it to my bedstand and I yes, that was me. Yes,
I know it is. I know it's you. The Four
(27:40):
Agreements by Don Miguel Ruise, And I keep it like
you're sitting here. I'm sitting here in my bed for
those of you can't see, And I keep it on
my nightstand because it is short, it's quick, it's to
the point, but it is also a constant reminder, so
I have to go back and refresh. And sometimes I
literally will look up to to the universe to say
what I need to know today, and I will just
(28:01):
open it up and it will be something that just
reminds me. So this is it The Four Agreements. He's
going to be on the podcast next week, so I, um,
I know, I know. It's an amazing conversation. And you're right,
it's such an easy book. It's simple, it's go to
and it's just a reminder of how to be your
best and just really that's one of them. But like
(28:24):
just in life, like I read that. That's on my
nightstand too, because I pick it up at night. I
read it and I go to bed. I mean, it's
just easy and applicable, and that's what I like with
these books, these self help books. If you will um
that one is super helpful, especially in this day and
age where there's just a lot that we're looking at,
reading about, hearing about that's tugging at our hearts emotionally, socially,
(28:46):
And this just to me, keeps me in better in alignment.
I can't fight a good fight if I'm not aligned,
if I'm misaligned, and I'm just fighting, Yeah, and I'd
rather do it as steady and solid in my thinking
and feeling as possible. Well, thank you for being on
the show. Dan, I love you. I love you. Thank
you for having me my glorious friend. Thank you so
(29:11):
much for listening. I'm happy to be connected with you.
Connections with Evil Gloria is a production of Unbelievable Entertainment
in partnership with I Hearts Michael Pura podcast Network. For
more podcasts from my Heart, visit the I Heart Radio app,
Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Hi, Welcome back to Connections with Eva Longoria. I'm Eva Longoria,
and you know, I've been doing all of these episodes
because I love seeking connection and everything that I do.
And so today's episode was something that burst out of
a project I did, and it made me think about
(00:22):
this idea about connections to our identity, connections to our
home country, connections to a country some of us may
never have been, like connections to our nationality or cultural identity.
And I directed a show called God the Chronicles about
Dominican family who moves from the Dominican Republic to the
(00:44):
United States and now they have to navigate that identity.
And one of my best friends is the lead of
this show, Diana mariar Riva, And we always have these
conversations because like her, I'm a hyphen it I'm Mexican American,
She's Dominican American. And so we straddle that hyphen of
(01:07):
uh living in two identities all the time. Like it's
not like people your half you're half Mexican, your half American.
I'm like, now I'm a present Mexican and a hunter
percent American at the same time. And so we navigate
life sometimes with people constantly going but where are you from? No?
But really, where are you from? And Diana and I
(01:29):
have had this conversation many times, and so I want
to welcome her to the show. Welcome the Anna, Maria Riva.
Thank you. I mean I could introduce you with listing
all of your acting credits, but I think the biggest
title you have in my life is romana. She's my amana, Yes, that,
(01:50):
and that is a title that I hold near and
dear to my heart. We have a sisterhood. Dana and
I've known each other for so many years and we
met within thirty seconds, where like I are You're gonna
be best friends? And um and through the years we've
had how many times have we had this conversation? And
specifically you because those to those of you listening and
may not know what Diana looks like. She has this
(02:13):
Midwest accent, and she has dark skin and this beautiful
curly hair, and I think she gets it more than
I do. Like where are you from? So tell people
where are you from? I am all the way from
the Latino saturated state of Ohio. I was born and
(02:35):
raised in Cincinnati, Ohio, and it was definitely a time
where there was no one that really looked like me,
had hair like mine. In my community, it's changed very
much at this point. It's grown a lot. And in
my school, nobody spoke two languages. Nobody spent their summers
in a foreign country visiting their family. So, um, that's
(02:55):
a little bit of a synopsis of my little background.
And you spent your summers in the Dominican Republic, right.
I am so grateful that every single summer I would
tell my parents I'm going with my Mana and Papa,
my grandparents, I'm going to the d R for the summer,
and they let me go, and I would miss out
my the all three months of summer in Cincinnati to
(03:15):
spend it completely submerged in the capital in Santiago with
my family, with my cousins, just living day to day,
going to camp. One year, I left school early and
finished there, and that kept the language alive, that kept
the connection with my family alive. That I mean, you
could drop me in the Dominican Republic and I would
know where to go and how to get there. And
(03:36):
with the culture not being really present in the community
that I was raised in, it was wonderful to go
back every summer and keep that alive in my heart
and soul. So what do you think your connection is
to your identity? How do you define yourself? You know,
I've always said that I'm a woman with an American
mind that a Latin soul, and I think it's just men. Watch. Yeah,
(04:03):
there's a lot of passion in there, and there's a
lot of history to that passion, and I feel that
it's part of what made me in my youth stand
out in a way that made me uncomfortable because I
didn't know how to identify it. But growing into a
young woman and then into a mother adult, I feel
(04:25):
that it is what I've embraced the most. Non what
I'm most proud of, that passion, that vibrance that's in
my history, that's in my vein and my bloods in
my in the generations before me, I feel come out
of my hair, come out of my face, come out
of my skin tone. And I embrace it and I
love it and I'm proud of it. And so I
feel like I'm a beautiful mix. So take me all
(04:47):
or take me none at all. Yeah, And I think,
you know, we as humans just try to put everybody
in boxes, and so Okay, you're this, You're Latina, right, Okay,
you're Italian and got it. You and you're like, well,
I am kind of complex. The route is not linear.
That's the biggest thing is that the route is never linear.
(05:08):
And I will tell you this. When I grew up,
I didn't come to Los Angeles and I was years old,
and up until that point, any demographic box that I
had to check only gave me in Ohio, white, black,
or other. So I just thought those were the choices.
When I moved out to Los Angeles at five and
I filled out I think I was getting my driver's
license and it said white, black, Hispanic Latino, non white Latino, white,
(05:32):
Chicano Latino. I was like, wait, I didn't know there
were so many subcategories and yes, and and and to
this day when I look at it, it still gets
me because I swear every year they had another one.
And I love that there's so much recognition of it,
but it's it's also proof that it is a combination.
It is never linear. Yeah. The reason I wanted to
(05:52):
have this conversation about what our connection should be is
because I feel like, specifically when it comes to the
United States, this melting pot today, and you know, historically
has been seen as like it's a bad thing that
you're mixed, right, bad thing that you check. You check
to that other box. Oh you're another, Like, well, I'm
(06:15):
not other, I met right, you know. How do you
how do you think that affects how American society views us? Well?
I think I think that there are too many preconceived
ideas and thoughts about what come with one background or
the other. But I do feel that that's the richness
of our country is that we have the we have
such a melting pot, and to never go into anything
(06:36):
assuming that one person is one thing or the other,
and how they identify or what their history is or
what their background is, I feel like that's the lesson.
The lesson is to listen and hear what their story is,
because one Dominican story is not the same as the others.
And that's something that I loved about going through the chronicles.
Every immigrant story is as diverse as the immigrant themselves.
(07:00):
And that's why in this country we get very locked
up in categorizing and the stereotyping um When everybody's story,
even if your background is from the same country, your
story and your your journey is different, and I think
the most important thing is to not get locked into
what is preconceived. I think that is a big problem
(07:23):
within American society and globally, and that's why our jobs
in the media is so important, right, Like, because if
we keep perpetrating those preconceived notions in storytelling, then I
think people have no choice but to believe that about
a certain culture. Right Yes, yes, there, I mean we're
we're there to tell stories and not just one. We're
(07:44):
there to tell as many stories as we can, um,
from as many different perspectives as there are, and that's
what makes entertaining. Do we take artistic license? Well, yes,
that's why it's called art. How do you how did
you raise your kids? You have two beautiful kids, and
(08:06):
do they get any like? Are you Latina? Like? What
did you instill in your your children as far as
their connection to identity? Yes, I have two beautiful children.
As you said, I have a son who is his
final years of college and a daughter who's just about
to fly the nest. And I'm dealing with that and um,
(08:27):
they both, the two of them, you know, we were
they were born and raised here in Los Angeles, with
no family. I don't have any other family here, so
all of our family was outside of the state. And
the most important thing for me was family connection. That
is a dynamic in many cultures, but of course it's
very it's a huge dynamic in the Dominican culture, in
the Latino culture. And spending my entire summers with my
(08:50):
family was my thing. So how did I want to
bring that to my children living three thousand miles away. UM,
And that started with going back to Ohio twice a
year with the bulk of my family. Was to spend
those holidays with them and them coming out here and
making sure that they were raised wanting and desiring to
spend time with family the Dominican Republic. The same thing
(09:14):
started taking them to the Dominican Republic and they still
have UM. Quite honestly, an entire flew of family to
meet in the d R. We don't get a chance
to see them, but they definitely see how the culture
is and and the vibe is and what we believe in.
They hear a speaking Spanish when we're in the Dominican Republic.
So my children saying the culture was really about just
(09:35):
keeping the family element alive it's very easy to get
isolated out here, and I'm happy to say it's not happened.
Do they embrace that Dominican side? Oh yeah, they love it.
You know, in California you do not have to take
a foreign language more than two years. And I told them, okay,
you're gonna take it for four. Why because our first generation,
(09:59):
your second you need to hold on or embrace this
language as much as you can. I know you're not
saturated in it, but it needs to be alive in you.
And so they did. They did take to it very well.
It was difficult for them because we're not in a
home with parents or grandparents that are speaking in on
a regular basis. But they had an appreciation for it.
And I'll tell you what, when we go to the
Dominican Republic and they are submerged in the language, they
(10:22):
do appreciate being able to understand a good amount of it.
They're not as fluent, but they, you know, they can't
get by And those little things like that are important
to me. Keeping the culture alive, sharing with them my
childhood stories, showing them pictures, and hopefully continuing the traditions. Yeah, well,
you know they say that we're born into cultures, but
(10:45):
we're not born with culture. Culture is something that we learned.
I agreed, right, Like I learned I learned how to
make flower tortillas because that's where I'm from, from Texas,
and we make flower tortillas. When I married that who's
a Mexican from Mexico, he was like, why are you
making flower tortillas? Nobody eats flower. If you're a real Mexican,
you don't need flower toy. They eat cornty. We have
(11:05):
this corn flower debate every day in my household. And
I said, because I learned how to make flowerer DEAs
and that's part of my culture. And um, and I
love that everyone has a culture and it doesn't even
have to be you know, we're talking about national identity
because you and I straddle that hypeen, but like culture
is any way of life or values and beliefs and
(11:27):
attitudes that we have. Like sometimes it's your religious culture.
Sometimes it's your sexual orientation culture, sometimes it's your occupation.
We're in the actor culture. You know, it's like like
I'm culturally Catholic. Yes, yeah, I haven't heard it that
put that way, And that is let me tell you
when you're taking off on an airplane like I was
the other day, and I found myself making a sign
(11:48):
of across. I'm pretty I don't even know what's the
last time I've been to church. I'm sorry. I mean,
I'm sorry if you're up there listening to me. But
I'm just like, but I'm making the sign of a
cross when the wheels go up. Oh yeah, yeah, hedge
in your's That's what I call it. But there was
something comforting in that culture identity for me. Like I
loved that I grew up with pinatas at every party,
(12:09):
right like I love that I grew up with rice
and beans. I loved that I grew up with spanglish,
right like I didn't even know what the word for.
I went to the dermatologist of the day and I
had a I still don't know a mancha. It's not
a stain, it's a mark, a mark. I was trying
to tell the dermatologists, I have sun spots, That's what
I was trying to say. And I couldn't say sun spots.
(12:31):
And I was like, I have like a una mancha
right here, it's a mancha. He was like, you have
a lot, like I don't even know. I don't know
the English word for spot, a spot spot, and he's
like sun spot, and I'm like a concerning I. I
feel the same way. There are days when my brain
will tell me there is no better way to be
(12:53):
effective in this moment than to say it in Spanish,
that particular word in Spanish, right, because it is just
it has far more google soul, it has far more
flavor and you know, one of the other things, not
just language. I do feel that when, for example, when
my children go reaching for the food, when they look
for those Dominican dishes that I have continued in the
(13:15):
family line here, then I feel like, Okay, it's I'm
doing my job here and keeping the culture alive in them.
I remember the first time I made a Thanksgiving dinner
for a large group of Anglos non Latino people. The
Dominican turkey is something so specific and special. It is
just absolutely you cannot compare it. It is so different
(13:38):
in flavor seating. What's the Dominican turkey? And my friend,
I cannot tell, You're gonna have to come over for
it because it's so complicated. But it's the way it
is seasoned and flavored. It takes three days to prepare
because you got lime in a brine, but the first day.
But then it's the sasson that you have to make
from scratch and has a multitude of pepper, cilantro and
(14:00):
a regulo and garlic and whatnot, and you have to
make that first, and that has to settle for a
day before you put it all over in the turkey,
and that has to marinate for a day. And it
takes three days. And nobody got this recipe from my
grandmother because of course she never wrote it down. And
I remember at one point, I was in my mid twenties.
I was like, this, this recipe is going to die
(14:21):
with her generation and we can't have it. So I
literally took a pen and paper and she had an
austerizer a blender out and she had all the ingredients
they're about to make this, And as I watched it,
I literally just drew a picture with crayons. Okay, so
up at this level of the blender I put peppers,
(14:42):
and up to this level you put garlica I am
the only one in the family at this point mother
and sisters included father too, that know how to make
this Dominican turkey, and now I'm in charge of making
it at Christmas. When I made them, but the first
time I made it for a huge group out here
in California, I was so nervous that they weren't going
to eat it that I made a regular traditional turkey
American turkey thanks Jackey and mine. They did not eat
(15:08):
the other turkey they mine, and then from then on
I had to continue making So I do feel that
we passed the culture down through food as well. It
doesn't you it's not common to be able to find
Dominican Cuban. You can find Cuban food out here in
Los Angeles, but it's not coming to find some of
those dishes. And I've had to just keep those dishes
(15:28):
alive and my children go reaching for them. Yeah. Music, music,
for sure, I had that same thing happened to me
with themals. And my aunt was the safeguard who was
like my grandma. She was the safeguard all recipes and
wouldn't tell you them by the way, even if you
we tried to ask. And and then she passed away.
(15:50):
In the first Christmas we had to do, there was
like a huge fight. You're putting the comino in the
wrong time, and the comino goes in the massa, not
in the meat. Now the comeno goes in the meat.
And there was like a whole ship show. And I
remember too, like I just eventually researched my own recipes
or whatever, and I found a wonderful one in the
New York Times. And at Christmas, I made my New
(16:11):
York Times ones and everybody was like, see now this
is authentic, and I was like, oh, I'm actually actually
that's Rick Baylis. I think I don't. I don't think
that's analysis. Like so culture can evolved, absolutely, But I also,
you know what I love. I feel like, especially in
the United States where we live, you know, we were
(16:32):
right to know who we are and where we're from.
And I think the people and the places and the
stories of our families, how they got here, where they
came from, really gives us all unique stories about who
we are. And I think when you understand that connectivity
goes beyond I'm from Texas and I'm American, like you
(16:54):
really can branch out into that history, and I think
that connects us to each other in a better way.
When you know where you're from and your diversity in
your background, you kind of have empathy of like, oh
my god, so where are you? What's your story? And
I always feel like culture leads to like, hey, what's
your story? Oh how did that happen? Oh my god,
(17:15):
your grandma had an affair? You know your And that
kind of gives me hope for more unity in this country.
That like the understanding our history and our cultural identity
can help connect us more, not divide us more. Do
you agree? I absolutely agree, And I think the key
component is first of all, knowing who you are and
(17:37):
being comfortable in your skin. And in that way I
tell my kids all the time, I said, the sooner
and you know who you are and you get settled
into your soul as to who you are and what
you want in your life, the less you will compromise
it throughout your life, the healthier your relationships will be,
and the more you will travel down that road of
what's best for you. I think that is first core.
(17:59):
We start with ourselves right, and then it becomes about
listening and acceptance. We are not like the other. We
are all unique, as are our stories. And I do
feel that the more we embrace that, the more connectivity
we do have. The better our relationships are and just
looking to each other to see what are your areas
(18:22):
of strength that may not be mine, but I can
appreciate in you and vice versa. I think, you know,
cultural identity is also important because it it influences how
we interpret and react to life, right, And I think
(18:46):
what makes our connection to culture complicated is that a
lot of these characteristics are unspoken, they were assumed. Like
you said, they're just preconceived, unconsciously developed standards. But those
standards really come from soxiety and so I think when
you're continually exposed to a cultural group, you just kind
of accept those things as it's unspoken and it's it's unconscious.
(19:09):
And so that's why I think, like really digging into
your history and going okay, where am I firmly what
does that mean? It's such a beautiful journey to take on.
I encourage everybody to kind of explore that identity if
you haven't already, and if you have, dig deeper, because
it really can influence how we view the world. My
(19:31):
mother was telling me after when Gordita Chronicles came out,
my mother started sharing more and more stories of the
things that she experienced when she came to the United States.
She was fifteen, I think at the time, and she
said that one of the things that really shocked her
is at the time, there was such a lack of
geography being taught in schools that no one knew where
(19:54):
this island was that she had come from. And they
all thought that she had come from the wild. Oh.
Like they would say things like, how does it feel
to have a telephone in your house? And I was like,
I was not in a you know, I was announce
in the in the rainforest, like I lived in a house,
And so it was just shocking to see the difference. Now.
(20:15):
I think there's been a lot of evolving since then,
but we're never finished. There are so many things that
come up that I don't know about other countries that
I want to know. I want to be open to learning,
because you know, knowledge is power, Knowledge is empathy and
acceptance of other people. Right well, I think, you know,
it's important to understand the power that cultural influences have
(20:38):
on certain groups, because it really affects how we treat
each other in the store, at the doctor's office, in
the parking lot. And I think a lot of people
are gonna have to unravel some assumptions and myths that
they have about other cultural groups. That that my husband,
who's from Mexico City, I went to high school here
in the States, and so they did the same thing
(21:01):
to him. They were like, do you have electricity in Mexico?
And he's like, this was at the time. Mexico City
is the largest city in the world. He had twenty
five million people. Like He's like, yeah, yeah, we do.
You ride horses to school? And it was like, yeah,
there's so much pollution in Mexico City because of the car.
It's like, oh my god. So like coming from Mexico City,
(21:23):
he was culturally shocked of how backwards this little town
in Washington was, you know. He was just like, where
have I landed? And how do they not have you know,
a subway? Like maybe He literally was like this is crazy,
But I think you and I like to travel, and
I do think when you travel the easiest way into
a culture because people go, oh, I don't speak the language,
I don't you know know, this is food. I think
(21:46):
you can go to India and understand the people by
eating the food. You can go to Mexico and go
I get it. I get what these people are about
through the food, because food is such an expression of
cultural identity. I do think, you know, I've been I've
been planting a payment since I graduated college and raising
children and keeping in this career. But one of the
(22:09):
things that I have not been able to do as
much as I would like to is travel. And in traveling,
I love what I learned about the culture, and the
easiest access to me with that is food. I don't
even have to travel. I can have something glorious that
I've never tasted before, and then that inspires me to
want to get to know that country and the people
(22:31):
of that country even more so, There's just food is
a unifier. Meals bring people together. They are at the
core of every celebration, whether it be a funeral or
a wedding, and I feel like that is where you
can learn so much more about a culture is through
the palette. Yeah, I agree, there's I mean, I could
(22:52):
be transported to France with a good croissante. I was like, Oh,
I get it, I get it, Yeah, salutely. And I
do think that, you see, you learn about the people
and what's important to them. I'll never forget a trip
that I took to the Dominican public recently, and I
was going to on a ziplining excursion, and part of
to get to the where we were going to the
(23:13):
very top I swear to you of the Dominican Republic.
I'd never known that the mountains were this high. And
so it was about an hour and a half travel
up a mountain, and through that mountain we were towns
with people living in them, with their whole like a
whole little city, but built into this mountain side. And
along the way it was nothing but the coffee bean
(23:36):
and cocoa bean that was just growing. Just the vegetation
was just lush and growing wildly, and you could smell it.
So the first thing is that you know you're you're
being submersed in this culture by just the wonderful smell
of the cocoa bean and of the coffee bean. And
so the the guy was telling us how this town
(23:58):
survives off of this crop, that they make their own
coffee and they make their own chocolate, and I bought
tons of coffee chocolate. It was so spiritually delightful. But
I think it was even more so delightful, not just
because it was so good, the chocolate was just divine.
But it was because I saw how it was growing,
and it affected all my senses, my side, my my smell,
(24:22):
even the visual of seeing the townspeople there and interacting
and engaging with them and seeing how proud they were
of their community and of their crop, and it just
made it that much more delightful. And I thought I
knew a lot already about that country, I learned more
in that moment. Yeah, well, it touched your heart, that's it,
more than more than your sense of absolutely was like absolutely,
(24:45):
Like I truly feel this. I'm so happy I had
this conversation with you, of all people, because you're so
in tune to that lyne to the heart of like,
our connection to two cultural identities can really heal a
lot of divides that we have in the world. Yes,
I think that the more we know, the more we
(25:08):
stand a chance. And think of it this way. Let's
say we're arguing with someone and and somebody were close
to in a relationship and they just do not argue
the way you do. They they just process so differently.
And then because you're in a relationship with this person
and you know that person is just family background, I'm
not talking just even culture. You know that in their
family they never discussed anything, they never communicated, and your
(25:31):
family talked about everything. You know at nauseam just so
much that you communicate differently. But once you understand that
about the other person in the relationship, you realize what
you have to develop empathetically and compassionately in that relationship
to understand the dynamic that you're going to have with
that person. It's not that they're doing it wrong, it's
(25:51):
just that they know it differently than you do. That
does not mean that just because my family talks about everything,
that we should always be talking. So there is a
difference there, and I feel like it's the same with culture.
The more you understand what a person's background is and
how it differs from yours, it's not a compared and
contrast by way of right or wrong. It's a compare
contrast by how to come together cohesively in a way
(26:14):
that creates better understanding. I agree. I just think you know,
connecting to yourself and your own story connects you to others.
It just does. It's just a two B two Z. Yes.
If we see each other on TV or film and
we see a family that maybe didn't have the same story,
but you connect to that character. You connect to the
(26:36):
way they deal with things, or the way they look
at things or outlook or even if it's like that's
a part of me that's missing that I desire and
you see it displayed in a character. There's something going
on there, there's something happening there where you're opening yourself
up to somebody else's way of being, and it's it's
it's the same in everyday life. Yea, I love you
(26:58):
so much and I'm happy. I'm cann did with you.
I guess I We're connected on so many We both
love to cook, we're both moms, we both are actress as,
we both are crazy. So we have a we have
a lot of communities in which we do have identities
to We're jumping a lot. We're jumping a lot of
pools together, that's for sure. We do. We do. Um.
(27:19):
I ask all my guests this, if you could recommend
a book for our listeners to read. What's one of
your favorite books? Could be novel, nonfixtion, could be whatever
you want. Okay, Well, I don't know if you've recommended this,
but a very dear friend gave me this, and I
keep it to my bedstand and I yes, that was me. Yes,
I know it is. I know it's you. The Four
(27:40):
Agreements by Don Miguel Ruise, And I keep it like
you're sitting here. I'm sitting here in my bed for
those of you can't see, And I keep it on
my nightstand because it is short, it's quick, it's to
the point, but it is also a constant reminder, so
I have to go back and refresh. And sometimes I
literally will look up to to the universe to say
what I need to know today, and I will just
(28:01):
open it up and it will be something that just
reminds me. So this is it The Four Agreements. He's
going to be on the podcast next week, so I, um,
I know, I know. It's an amazing conversation. And you're right,
it's such an easy book. It's simple, it's go to
and it's just a reminder of how to be your
best and just really that's one of them. But like
(28:24):
just in life, like I read that. That's on my
nightstand too, because I pick it up at night. I
read it and I go to bed. I mean, it's
just easy and applicable, and that's what I like with
these books, these self help books. If you will um
that one is super helpful, especially in this day and
age where there's just a lot that we're looking at,
reading about, hearing about that's tugging at our hearts emotionally, socially,
(28:46):
And this just to me, keeps me in better in alignment.
I can't fight a good fight if I'm not aligned,
if I'm misaligned, and I'm just fighting, Yeah, and I'd
rather do it as steady and solid in my thinking
and feeling as possible. Well, thank you for being on
the show. Dan, I love you. I love you. Thank
you for having me my glorious friend. Thank you so
(29:11):
much for listening. I'm happy to be connected with you.
Connections with Evil Gloria is a production of Unbelievable Entertainment
in partnership with I Hearts Michael Pura podcast Network. For
more podcasts from my Heart, visit the I Heart Radio app,
Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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