March 17, 2025 • 44 mins
SEASON 3 EPISODE 109: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: How do you remove a Senate Democratic Leader? CAN you remove a Senate Democratic Leader?
Oh my, yes. You can do it before the top of the hour. Certainly before tomorrow.
I'll lay it out for you.
It can happen provided you note Schumer is having a book event tonight at the Enoch Pratt Central Library in Baltimore at 7 PM. It takes a little guts. Takes angry civilians. Takes the 36 Senate Democrats and one Independent whom Chuck Schumer betrayed to stick their necks out again. Takes the whole lot of them to run the minor risk of fracturing the Senate caucus or the Democratic Party - but why not? It's not like they're doing anything.
Not when TWO new polls suggest Democrats are fed up with this group, that vast majorities demand RESISTANCE to Trump, not bipartisan crap, that the leader who best represents the ideals of the party is AOC (10%) as opposed to Obama (4%) and Schumer (2%) and worst of all - nobody (30%).
We should be talking about resistance, about Trump being twelve points underwater on the economy, about Musk retweeting the claim that Hitler didn't commit the holocaust, his public sector workers did, about Trump beginning to defy court orders to illegally deport people to third-party strongman states.
But we're not - because of Chuck Schumer. Time for him to GO.
B-Block (23:45) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: The world is coming apart and Politico devoted its lead 26 paragraphs to a journalism party. Alina Habba is a moron, Part 9,763. And Marco Rubio and the "president" of El Salvador are mocking American law. See you at the World Court, boys.
C-Block (33:40) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: I'm under the weather and that always flashes me back to the day I was 21 and my doctor since my childhood gave me some muscle relaxants without warning me of the side effects. Hilarity ensued.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. How
do you unseat a Senate Democratic leader asking for a democracy?
(00:31):
On the one hand, it is impossible. On the other hand,
it could be done in about forty eight minutes. There
is no process to force the Democrats to conduct a
new Senate leadership vote, even though by one measure, Chuck
Schumer would lose such a vote thirty seven to ten,
which is what he lost the vote in his own
party in his suicidal decision to enable Musk and Trump
(00:54):
to proceed unchecked as they rape the government and the
laws and the budget and the nation for the six months.
Democratic Party rules only mandate leadership elections with the start
of each new Congress. The last one was December third,
The one before that was December eighth, twenty twenty two.
(01:15):
The next one would be the third, eighth or tenth
of December twenty twenty six. The only way there would
be a new Democratic Party leadership election would be if
Schumer resigned or is forced to. On the other hand,
if the thirty six Democrats and the independent who broke
with Schumer in this catastrophe were to simply form their
(01:37):
own caucus and elect their own leader just to pick
a name at random. Chris Murphy of Connecticut Chuck Schumer
would be minority leader in name only. The risk of this,
of course, is a total fracture of the Democratic Party
inside the Senate and out of it, and the prospect
of an idiot like Fetterman or an invisible senator like
(01:58):
Jillibrand actually caucusing with the Republicans. On the other hand,
the only advantage of having forty seven non Trumpists instead
of thirty six non Trumpists or thirty seven non Trumpists
is that you could do things like stop Kloture on
the six month Musk Indemnification and Continuing Resolution bill. Except
(02:20):
your gutless, spineless, useless, clueless minority leader doesn't do that
and instead collaborates with the party of the insane dictator.
If he's not going to use forty seven votes, what's
the difference if he only has thirty seven votes or
if his successor only has thirty seven votes. Here is
(02:43):
the process as I understand it. Create the new Democrats
or Democrats two point zero, or the new Zoo Review
or the new Christy minstrels, doesn't matter. Just position them
as the actual minority in the Senate, they have the
second most votes. Point out to sh Schumer, he is
(03:05):
now leader of the third party in the Senate, and
if he does not resign as Democratic leader, you will
not let him join your new caucus, and you won't
let the other losers in either. Senator Murphy, for one,
is not leading this revolt, not any way at the moment.
(03:25):
On NBC yesterday, do you think that Leader Schumer is
the best person to lead your caucus in this moment,
Senator Murphy. Senator Schumer certainly can lead this caucus, NBC,
would you consider that role? Murphy? I don't think anybody's
having that conversation right now right now, but the American
people certainly aren't having that conversation right now. The Democratic
(03:48):
Party certainly is having that conversation right The f now
CNN poll yesterday, Democrats and Democratic leading Independence now say
fifty seven to forty two percent that Democrats should mainly
work to stop the Trump agenda, not work with the
GOP just to get some of their own ideas into
(04:09):
legislation fifty seven to forty two. The NBC poll asks
the same question in a different way. Should Democrats stick
to their positions, even if that risks sacrificing by partisan progress.
The answer is yes, sixty five to thirty two. Eight
(04:29):
years ago that poll came in No. Fifty nine to
thirty three. It went from thirty three to fifty nine
to sixty five thirty two. And these new polls, these landslides,
these are before what Schumer did last Friday. God knows
how bad these numbers are now, but whatever they are,
(04:52):
they actually add up to just one thing. Chuck Schumer
is done if the Democratic Senators want him done, or
if the Democratic Party explains to them that Schumer is done,
if they explain this in public loudly, immediately. Discretion is
the better part of valor, or at least fear is
(05:14):
the better part of valor. And all day yesterday I
kept waiting to hear that the start of Chuck Schumer's
book tour tonight in Baltimore had been postponed or canceled,
or he had laryngitis, where they had forgotten to ship
the books, or print the books or write the books.
But if Schumer could actually make a career ending and
(05:35):
maybe a democracy ending decision like he did on the
Musk indemnification and continuing Resolution Bill. Why wouldn't he be
stupid enough to walk out at the Central Library in
Baltimore tonight so he can get booed off the stage.
Some people one day just run out of smart. Chuck
(06:01):
Schumer live tonight in Baltimore, Live at Politics and Pros
at sixth and I in DC. Wednesday night, live at
the Weitzman Museum in DC, Thursday afternoon, live at the
Moss Theater in Santa Monica Sunday. Or this event has
been unexpectedly canceled. There will be no Chuck Schumer and
(06:21):
there will be no refunds. I hope now three days
after they each lit themselves on fire, only to discover
it just wasn't enough for insane Dictator Trump, I hope
soon to be former leader one way or the other.
Schumer and Senators Fetterman and Jillibrand and the others who
(06:44):
sold out the democracy and more immediately their colleagues in
the House. And I hope the executives at MSNBC who
remember fired or demoted all the hosts of Color, and
the executives at CNN who thought they could hold insane
Dictator Trump at bay. I hope they have all understood
where we are, and in particular way, where they are
(07:07):
here is where we are. Donald Trump is insane. There
is only one path through his insanity towards restoring America
as a democracy, as a nation independent of Putin, as
a place not to be ashamed of. It is to
destroy Trump's presidency. Destroy his presidency. Nothing else will stop him.
(07:34):
His last remaining human emotion is vengeance. And nothing you do,
no matter how horrish, pandering, obvious, remorseful, no matter how
much money or ky jelly covered praise it contains, we'll
register with him. He wants to destroy you, He wants
(07:54):
to destroy the country, but he wants Schumer, MSNBC, CNN.
He wants to destroy you, guys.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
And I believe that CNN and MSDNC, who literally write
ninety seven point six percent bad about mere political arms
of the Democrat Party, And in my opinion, they're really
corrupt and they're illegal.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
What they do is illegal.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
So hey, CNN, how's letting that pimp Scott Jennings take
over prime time? Working out for you? Insane dictator? Trump
basically told the DOJ Friday afternoon, arrest CNN, good thing,
Tapper and Bash that you didn't fact check him in
the debate last year. Backstage at the DOJ, Trump probably
(08:46):
mentioned the two of you by name. I'd rather have
a questioning audience, said CNN's Chris Licked two point zero.
He's British. His name is Mark Thompson at an event
on trust in the media on the first of this month.
I think we should draw our eyes about the loss
of traditional trust. Congratulations, Lord Thompson, you have succeeded now.
(09:07):
Nobody trusts CNN, not your former audience, not others in
news media, and obviously not Trump and his terrorists. Cell Actually,
I take that last part back. All of us, Trump included,
can trust CNN to do the wrong thing. And as
to Schumer, I really wonder if he will be stupid
(09:29):
enough to go out in public tonight or on the
rest of his tour, because a man in his position
can be that stupid can convince themselves. They won't protest me.
I'm the leader of the party in the Senate. He
can convince themselves. This is just an extreme version of
traditional politics that Trump is enacting, and not a slow
motion replay of January sixth, only with the brute force
(09:54):
added of law enforcement and bureaucracy. People like Schumer can
convince themselves. People may be mad at him, or they
were mad at him last week, but they're not that
mad and they're certainly not that mad at him this week. Chuck,
we are that mad at you. I don't think you
(10:15):
should resign a Senate Democratic leader. I think you should
resign from the Senate and Jillibrand with you. This is war.
It is a non shooting war. God help us, maybe
only for now. And Schumer is clueless, weak, selfish, arrogant,
(10:36):
and worst of all, myopic to try to finesse his
criminally incorrect vote on this, to hide the intention of
his vote to be General George B. McClellan when we
need General ulysses ask goddamned grant and to sell out
the House Democrats. It's unforgivable. It is literally unforgivable. There
(10:58):
is no path back for Chuck Schumer. Powell's Central Library,
four hundred Cathedral Street, Baltimore, Maryland, seven pm. Be there, Aloha,
And what did Chuck Schumer get out of this? What
(11:19):
can be carved on his political tombstone? He ended his
career pleasing Trump. Congratulations to Chuck Schumer for doing the
right thing took quote guts un quote and courage the
big tax cuts, LA firefix, debt ceiling bill, and so
much more is coming. We should all work together on
(11:41):
that very dangerous situation. A non pass would be a
country destroyer. Approval will lead us to new heights again,
really good and smart move by Senator Schumer. This could
lead to something big for the USA, a whole new
direction and beginning exclamation point. Does it worry you at all?
Chuck that? Twenty four hours after that statement, insane, Dictator
(12:05):
Trump's lawyers told a federal court he has an inherent
right under Article to to deport anybody immigrant or otherwise
on what he and he alone says, our national security grounds.
And does it worry you? Chuck that? Twelve hours before
he praised you for doing the right thing. Twelve hours
(12:26):
before that, Donald Trump decided you are no longer Jewish.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
And Schumer is a Palestinian as far as I'm concerned.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
You know, he's become a Palestinian. He is to be Jewish.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
He's not Jewish anymore.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
He's a Palestinian. Okay, ah, yeah, but he's never gonna
do something like that again, not as long as he
thinks he owns you because you did something he desperately
needed you to do, and you were the only one
who could do it, and so now he might as
well own you, or I don't know to port you.
(13:02):
You know what you do when somebody says that about you, chuck,
You ask for a meeting with him, a photo op,
and when the cameras are all rolling, then you kick
him in the balls and you take the consequences. You
don't make a deal with him the next day, selling
out the people who put you in office. Politicos sometimes
(13:23):
uses anonymous sources irresponsibly, but I'm not sure that's the
case here. They often also look through the wrong end
of the telescope, and I'm not sure that's the case
here either. Quote one Democratic senator granted anonymity to share
private discussions, said conversations are starting about whether Schumer should
be their leader going forward. There's a lot of concern
about the failure to have a plan and execute on it,
(13:46):
the senator said. It's not like you couldn't figure out
that this is what was going to happen behind closed doors.
Even some longtime Schumer allies are raising the specter that
his time has passed. Quote. Biden is gone, Pelosi is
in the background. Schumer is the last one left from
that older generation, said one New York based donor who
is a long I'm supporter of a leader. I do
(14:06):
worry that the older generation thinks twenty twenty four was
just about inflation. But no, the game has changed. It's
not left wing or moderate. It's everyone now saying the
game is different now. But he was set up to
battle in two thousand and six, and we're a long
way from two thousand and six. Or, as the Hollywood
writer director Mike Samonek wrote, much more succinctly, I don't
(14:29):
want to say the Schumer optics are bad, but Gavin
Newsom just invited him on his podcast. There are two
(15:03):
other polling notes from those polls. Yesterday. The CNN one
asked Democrats to pick the leader who quote best reflects
the core values of the party. Aoc Is at the
top at ten percent, Kamala at nine, Bernie at eight,
a King Jeffreys at six, Jasmine Krocket at four, Obama
(15:23):
at four. Oh yeah, Obama, Remember Obama. I'm sure he'll
be dropping a protest playlist any day, soon after he
does his hoops bracket Chuck Schumer. Chuck Schumer is at
two percent. No One the choice no One is at
thirty percent. AOC has five times Schumer's support. No One
(15:51):
has fifteen times Schumer's support, and Schumer at two percent
is tied with Elyssa Slotkin. The other poll, Trump's favorability
among all voters is already four points underwater and twelve
underwater on the economy. I mean, how do you f
this up in both directions, Chuck? Just as Trump begins
(16:14):
to drown on the economy, and just as Elon Musk
was retweeting somebody who wrote Stalin Mao and Hitler didn't
murder millions of people, their public sector workers did, and
even in the White House, Musk was seen to be imploding.
And then, in response to that imploding, the White House
(16:34):
itself managed to implode and attack the racist Musk by
going even more racist than him. Musk blithely tells Cudlow
Scotchy Scotchy scotch on Fox Business about cutting entitlements. In
her Red Letter newsletter, Tara Palmery writes, even though Trump's
staffers are terrified of Musk, they know that if you
(16:56):
try to cut social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid you die
politically speaking. Quote, it's no longer simmer r resistance. People
are effing furious. Set a source with knowledge of the situation,
and then comes the the coup de lack of grass. Quote.
(17:18):
Medicaid is not just for black people in the ghetto.
These are our voters. Unquote. Set a Republican operative close
to the White House. How is that not the quote
on the lips of every Democrat in this country today?
(17:39):
Medicaid is not just for black people in the ghetto.
Set a Republican operative close to the White House. These
are our voters. How is it not the quote on
every Democrat's lip today? Two words Chuck Schumer or maybe
the quote from that little TOWRP. Marco Rubio, who, like Schumer,
(18:00):
actually thought he could bargain with Trump and instead wound
up having to be the front man for the first
assault on freedom of speech and extra legal extraditions and
now having to expel the duly appointed South African ambassador
to the United States because Elon wants to make apartheid
great again. Rubio had to call South Africa's ambassador Rasoul
(18:22):
quote a race baiting politician who hates America, who is
no longer welcome here because Rasoul gave a speech Friday
in which he said Trump was quote mobilizing white supremacy
in the US and abroad as well. So what's your
complain about that, little Marco? Trump is mobilizing white supremacy
(18:45):
in the US, and so is Musk, And so Marco,
are you you complicit? Little shit? And by the way,
a race baiting politician who hates America and is no
longer welcome here, Marco, since that also describes Trump, does
this mean you're going to expel Trump? Because somebody is
(19:08):
damn well, gonna have to also of interest here. I'm
under the weather, so this will be kind of short today.
But the worst person's list is the never ending feast.
And as the world collapses and Trump openly ignores the
courts and starts deporting people illegally. Yesterday, guess what the
(19:29):
lead story was at Politico. The tone of a DC
dinner for reporters, the tone, I swear to God, ah,
there's nothing fatally wrong with our media political industrial complex.
Now that's next urseless countdown. This is countdown with Keith
(19:57):
Olberman still ahead on countdown when I'm sick. I always
(20:22):
think of my craziest visit to the doctor ever I
was twenty one ish and the somewhat surprising outcome. So
my face stuck to the side of the train and
they had to help me break free from the window.
Like that's never happened to you first, believe it or not.
(20:45):
There's still more new idiots to talk about. The daily
roundup of the misgrints, morons and dunning Kruger effects specimens
who constitute today's other worst persons in the world. Here
are the nominees, the Bronze Worse Potigo. I know I
praised them earlier. Like Trump, this only lasts three to
(21:05):
four minutes. That's as much time as it's going to
buy you. Illegal deportations, US citizens being locked up because
they were born somewhere else and were told JA I
was sick. I'm going to leave that in for evidence
(21:26):
illegal deportations US citizens being locked up because no, I
really did leave that in because they were born somewhere
else and we're returning to the country. Elon Musk still
eluding the much needed tranquilizing Dart Schumer imploding, and the
lead item in Sunday's Politico playbook newsletter The grid Iron
(21:48):
Dinner Saturday night in Washington. The grid Iron Dinner, despite
the name, that's a journalism event, and to be fair,
Politico is about about Washington and about journalism about Washington.
I know that's not always evident from what they write,
especially with the drama constantly surrounding the people who work
(22:10):
there and the new fascist owners from Europe. But do
you think once, just once, you could lead with the
earth shattering news like if Schumer is going to be deposed,
or if there are planes full of people who have
a legal right to be here who have been illegally
deported by the insane dictator of the United States, instead
(22:33):
of a few words about the e FFing grid Iron Dinner.
Twenty six paragraphs about the grid Iron Dinner. The first
twenty six paragraphs of your newsletter, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. I'll
get to the news somewhere, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, Politico, twenty
(22:56):
six paragraphs about the grid Iron Dinner and how they
didn't toast the President. I will confess I am sufficiently
under the weather that when I first read they toasted
the president, my mood cheered briefly, Where's the photo of
that Holy crap. I also realized that for a couple
of years I have been mistakenly telling people that it
was at the grid Iron Dinner that Dick Cheney as
(23:18):
vice president made that joke about me that I still love.
It wasn't at the grid Iron dinner. It was at
the radio and TV correspondence dinner. And yes, if it's
a Saturday, there is another Journalismalism dinner in DC. Since
you asked, I'll just well, I was going to read
the way adwe covered it, but you know the clip
(23:40):
is on YouTube, so in case you don't know it.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Moe's blog is titled Moe Rock a one to eighty
only half as tedious as the regular News. Among his
other credits, Moe used to host a TV show called
Things I Hate About You. I'm sure I've seen that program,
only I believe it's now called Countdown with Keith Overman.
(24:16):
Keith's not here tonight to savor my company.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
But we roared now. I'm Jack Tarynian I's a joke
about Keith Olderman. Anyway, The point of this was the
first twenty six paragraphs on a Dinner like That about
jokes like that. The first twenty six man not the
like six paragraphs of headlines and then twenty six paragraphs
about the Gridiron dinner, but the first twenty six paragraphs
(24:42):
underscoring this fact. The night they finally kidnap all the
reporters off the streets, the last thing every Washington correspondent
will file is a piece about what their friends were
wearing at the time they were disappeared. The runner up
(25:02):
worser Alina Habba, Official Administration nit wit. I've said it
so many times, you can say it with me. The
future and survival of democracy depends less on our strenuous
efforts to preserve it than it does on the stupidity
of those who intend to destroy it. That is being
tested now. But as long as we have the Secretary
(25:24):
of knit wittedness, Alna Habba, I believe we will prevail
after we get rid of Schumer. Alina Haba responding to
something or another about about the attempts to stop human
extortion and trafficking. And I don't know if they were claiming,
(25:45):
I don't know who they're claiming the Pope is a trap.
I don't know who they were claiming. There was a
trafficker and Alena Haba writes, thank you, let's pray for
the many victims of human extortion as a result of
the last administration's neglect and failures. And then the prayer
emoji and this note, this community note. Alina Habas supported
(26:08):
the Tate brothers who are under investigation for human trafficking.
There's a reason you go into parking lot law, and
that's because it's a challenge to you. I wanted to
stretch my mind. It went entirely one inch wide. But
(26:28):
the winner is the worst. Marco Rubio and naive butclely
bukill As you know, a federal court blocked the illegal
deportation of Venezuelans by the insane dictator to a concentration
camp in a third party country, El Salvador. Planes were
in the air already, and so the administration decided not
(26:50):
to turn the planes around and announced it was not
defying the court, and announced it was defying the court.
Marco Rubio, the little Shit secretary of Little Shit, boasted
about it as the president of Al Salvador. It's just
a brand name. There's not really a president, Like we
don't really have a president. We have an insane dictator.
(27:12):
Naib Bukel, president of Al Salvador, screenshoted the headline from
the New York Post about the judge blocking Trump from
invoking the Alien Enemies Act, and President Bukel added quote
oopsie too late and added the crying laughing emoji because
somewhere along the line emoji became fascist. That's President asshole
(27:37):
of l Salvador. Yeah, keep laughing. See you at the
World Court at the Hague, buddy in twenty twenty nine,
unless your own people take care of their problem. Five
years ago, this alleged president wanted approval from the Salvadoran
Legislative Assembly for a one hundred and nine million dollar
loan for his territorial control plan. So to deliver the message,
(27:59):
President Bukake or whatever his name is, sent forty soldiers
over to the Legislative Assembly to say hello. In twenty nineteen,
President Bukela introduced that plan, the Territorial Control Plan, to
reduce the homicide rate. It was reduced only actor alleged
the US Department of State. Bukell negotiated with the gangs
(28:22):
in Al Salvador to reduce the homicide rate. Hey do
me a solid kill fewer people okay, and you know
who alleged that were the State Department under which President
alleged he did that, Trump's State Department. But now Trump's
new horror at the State Department. Marco, he's Besti's with
this guy, Marco Rubio and alleged President Bukelly of Al Salvador.
(28:48):
What happened to that guy to Turte from the Philippines again?
Oh oh boy, two days worst persons. I can't hit
this high note in the world. To the number one
(29:12):
story on the Countdown and things I promise not to tell.
And this is anything but an important career story. But
I was reminded of it recently and I laughed like hell,
so I thought maybe you should too. I haven't seen
all of them in this country, but to my mind,
the most underrated of American rivers is the one I
grew up along. The Hudson gets a bad rap because
it's associated with New York City and the deteriorating remnants
(29:36):
of the city's once dominant piers, some of which have
been unused and rotting for half a century now. But
further upstate, literally just past the city line, the Hudson
is a magnificent river just to watch, never mind ride on.
This is particularly true during a stretch in which the
western side of the river is fronted by a series
of sheer cliffs called the Palisades, brownish black and striated,
(30:01):
carved as the river took shape millions of years ago,
but always looking like they had been carefully designed for
esthetic effect. Unfortunately, they are best seen from the commuter
railroad that runs along the Hudson into Westchester County, New York,
instead of a series of parks or even private palaces.
Our forefathers had the presence of mind to build factories
(30:22):
and copper processing plants and other nightmares right on the
Hudson because of the obvious transportation benefits the Hudson provided,
and so the train tracks were laid out next to
the river because that made it even easier to get
stuff to and from the big city. And damn the
views or the ability to appreciate life on the water
or the pollution. Still, if you ever find yourself now
(30:46):
taking a train from Grand Central Station into the western
half of Westchester, get a window seat on the left
side of the trainer. Better yet, when you come back
into New York City, sit on the right side on
the river side, and you will get fifteen minutes or
more of the most magnificent view inable out the big windows. Winter's, spring, summer,
(31:08):
or fall. The palisades provide the Hudson with a magnificent
frame that's almost like a miniature Grand Canyon. I remember
thinking of all this that one day early in nineteen
eighty I was finally feeling a little better, thanks to
doctor Cecilini. Doctor Cecelini had been my physician since I
was a boy, and he was the school doctor, and
(31:29):
he'd been the town doctor since about nineteen forty four,
and he always name dropped other patients I'd never heard of.
And as I finished my last growth spurt at the
end of my twentieth year, I had frequent back pain,
no fun at all, and sleeping on the floor helped
a little, but not enough. And finally Cecilini, who had
been a hospital doctor during World War Two and had
(31:50):
seen everything, said hey, just get this prescription filled. Take
one on them every day for the next week. It's
called a muscle relaxing. This will loosen up your back
als lessen the pain. Well, bet, just don't you know,
don't operate any heavy machinery, do you operate heavy machinery
when you do those sportscasts. Yars Keith had a patient
(32:13):
try to run a processor at the copper factory while
he took this nineteen fifty seven, we lost three fingers.
Leonardo ben Venuti. You know any of the ben Venuties
used to live on Williams Street. I laughed, this was
him every time, the ben Venuti's on Williams Street, the
Smith's on william Street, the Williams on Smith Street. Anyway,
(32:36):
back to the muscle relaxes, I don't think I had
ever heard of them before, let alone taken one. I
took my barking back to the pharmacy in my hometown
of Hastings on Hudson, New York. I got the prescription filled,
I bought a soda at the pizza parlor across the street,
and I ambled down the tiny village's picturesque business district.
It's three blocks long, past the statue our old neighbor,
(32:58):
Jacques Lipshits donated, and the ultra modern library, and right
into the train station. It was January. He was about
twelve degrees and as I waited for the train to
make its forty minute trip into the city and my
job as a sportscaster for the radio network of United
pres International. I took the pill what were they called again,
muscle muscle relaxance that doctor C had given me and
(33:21):
given his other patient, Rico Rendazzo, Or was that some
guy he mentioned in nineteen sixty six to me? I
worked the night shift at UPI, so the train was
almost always empty, and thus I almost always had my
choice of window seats. Midday and midwinter combined to make
the sun glisten with extra sparkle off the magnificent Hudson,
(33:41):
and the sun's angle was such that the palisades behind
them gleamed brightly as well. And I was thinking about
just how gorgeous they were, and how underrated the Hudson was,
and and I felt myself drifting away. I felt two hands,
one on each shoulder, shaking me violently. Buddy, Hey, Hey, hey, hey, buddy.
(34:06):
I fought to open my eyes and to avoid the
bad breath now enveloping my face. As I finally came around,
I realized it was the conductor who had just taken
my ticket. The train wasn't moving. In fact, only half
of the lights were on in the train. The palisades
were long gone, not the Hudson nor the palisades, but
(34:27):
darkness came in through the windows. I was completely confused.
Am I shake it off? You gotta get out of here.
This is as far as we go. Train's going out
of service. You don't get off now, you'll be parked
under thirty seven straight for the rest of the day.
Through my fog and my haze, I finally began to
understand what had happened and where I was, and I
began to try to stand when a horrifying awareness overtook me.
(34:50):
I could not move the right side of my face.
What was worse, I could barely feel the right side
of my face. Good God, what had happened to me?
Was this like that haunting episode of Alfred Hitchcock where
the woman is struggling to wake up and remember the
details of the accident out on San Francisco Bay the
night before, only as it finally comes back to her,
(35:13):
it turns out the accident had drowned her boyfriend, and
the reason it was so difficult to remember was, as
she realized only when she got up and saw her
reflection in a mirror, that the accident hadn't happened last night,
but it had happened in nineteen oh five, and she'd
been in an insane asylum for half a century. Was
that what had happened to me? No? Actually, as I
(35:34):
discovered when my struggle finally freed my face from the
train window to which it had stuck, because I had
drooled for like thirty five consecutive minutes, because I had
taken the muscle relaxant, because I had taken an honest
empty stomach, because I knew nothing about muscle relaxans, because
I was out cold with my mouth open, pressed up
(35:55):
against the train window on a twelve degree day, and
I had gotten frozen to the glass. Look, it was
not quite half a century in an insane asylum, but
certainly more embarrassing. It seemed like it took me half
a century to pull all of this together. I stood
up wobbly. I apologized to the conductor, and I mumbled
(36:19):
back pain new drug. And as I banked from one
side of the doorway to the other and bounced out
onto the platform, the conductor shouted after me, only take
him at night? Huh that little saga? Yeah, Doc, my
back is better, But I left half the skin on
my right cheek frozen into the one twenty from Hastings
(36:41):
to Grand Central. He'd probably say, yeah, that happened to
another patient of mine, Carlo John Lombardo. That reminded me
of a much later story from doctor Cecilini, and I
don't want to leave the wrong impression here. Edward Cecilini
was a terrific doctor. He practiced into his nineties. He
used to tell me to come visit him at his
practice in his home on Farragut Parkway anytime I was
(37:03):
up from the city visiting my folks, Well, Josh shoot
the braise, and he'd tell me about something about treating
Umberto Flambini in the Army Hospital in nineteen forty four.
And he'd asked me if I went to school with
Marco Bartolini and then say he had to go. He
was taking a course over at Sony Purchase about the
latest computer aided diagnostic till the man was ninety years old.
(37:25):
He never stopped learning. Great man, and did he howl
at the muscle relaxing story. Sorry, sorry, I didn't warn you.
Oh well, I just take him at Naida. I had
another patient do that nineteen seventeen. He's just all right. Anyway.
Now it's nineteen ninety five and I'm working at ESPN
(37:45):
and I'm supposed to fly to Vancouver to do a
cameo in an Adam Sandler golf movie, which I suppose
was Happy Gilmour. And I didn't want to try to
fly to Chicago and then change for Vancouver after going
the two hours from the middle of Connecticut to JFK.
So I came in to my folks house the day before,
I took the folks out to dinner, stayed over in
the spare room to leave from their house to the
(38:07):
airport in the morning, and at some point in the
middle of the night, I began to have chest pains.
Literally the top of my ribs hurt and my breathing
was constricted, and I couldn't get back to sleep. And
now I'm thinking, I don't know what's wrong, but something
is wrong. So I canceled the trip and I head
up to doctor Cecilini as soon as he's opened up
shop and he's eighty five now, and he gives me
the big welcome as usual, and I tell him the
(38:28):
story and he says, oh, yeah, I think it's nothing
to worry about, but we we should get this on
the record, just in case your movie company gets pissy
with you about canceling dad. Happened to another friend of mine,
patient Francesco Lola Bridget. He had a cameo and Moby
Dick in nineteen fifty six. He had cancel He wanted
it soon. How about you get your dad. Just drive
(38:49):
you up to the hospital in Dobbs Ferry. I meet
you there and oh like half an hour, hour and
a half something like that. Let me just run a
couple of tests on you. When we got you out.
There's no rush whatsoever. What's ther now? He stares off
into space for a second, and he looks back at me.
He says, I got I got an idea a little simpler.
I have to go there later. I have to drop
(39:10):
off some paperwork on some other guy, Frisco Gaspoci No Frisco. Anyway,
Just give me a second. I'll call him. I'll tell
him what coming on. Just you just hop in the
car with me and go out in the waiting room.
I'm gonna call him about Frisco. And I got to
worry about doctor patient confidentiality. But about Frisco Gospooci, Sa
you know, I gotta worry about that, so I don't
want you listening to that. So now ed cecil and
(39:33):
he's driving me to Dobb's Ferry Hospital, and I'm thinking
about how much he defines the idea of a really
dedicated doctor, and how every other patient he's ever mentioned
to me, I've never heard of one of them. And
we get to the hospital. I don't know. We talked
about baseball or my folks or something, and he drives
right up to the er and we walk in like
it's nothing, and he waves to the admitting nurse, Hi, Sheila,
(39:53):
how's your soign Shila? And he points at me. He says,
that's the guy, and he says, like it was absolutely
the way they do it at every hospital. You can
go all his info from him. After we run this
little check on all right, We go right into the
room and two nurses are in there and they say hi,
and one of them tells me to take off my shirt.
The other starts shaving places on my chest, and before
I know what's happening, I've got electrodes on me and
(40:15):
they're hooking me up to an EKG and they're drawing blood.
In Cecillini reads the start of the EKJ print out,
and he smiles at me and says, I'm sorry I
scammed you. But the way you described your chest pains,
I thought it was fifty to fifty. He had had
a heart attack. Last thing I want to do is
tell you that just in case you had had a
heart attack. And then he had another one that happened
to another patient of mine, Bernardo Petrosante. You know, Bernardo, Oh,
(40:38):
let me only know this. Ah, you're fine. Let me
just wait on the blood gases, double check that, go
out there and do the paperwork for shill at the desk.
I think it's just a muscle problem. The son of
a gun had not only made sure I didn't know
it might be serious, it might be heart attack serious.
But he conned me into going to the emergency room
(41:01):
without alarming me or even letting me know that was
his plan along. And as I'm brushing the shaved hairs
off my chest and putting my shirt on, I say thanks,
and then it hits me, Hey, another thing, Doc, Bernardo
Pietra Sante and Umberto Flambini, and all these other patients
you've mentioned all these years, they don't really exist, do they?
(41:24):
And he says, oh, got me about that. I learned
a long time ago. Make sure your patient never feels
like they're the first idiot to have done this to themselves.
Come on, I'll give you a lift back to your folks.
Might look in and see how your dad's doing. If
he's got a moment. I've done all the damage I
(41:52):
can do here. Thank you for listening. Once again, my
apologies for the relative brevity. Not feeling that great, but
you'd never know it from my performance here today. And
you know why that is because I'm tough. Also because
you can edit out all the bad stuff. Brian Ray
and John Phillip Schanel, the musical directors of Countdown, arranged,
(42:14):
produced and performed most of our music and still I'd
rather go live. Mister Shanelle handled orchestration and keyboards. Mister
Ray was on the guitars, bass and drums. It was
produced by Tko Brothers. Our satirical and pithy musical comments
are by the best baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Faust.
The sports music is the Olderman theme from ESPN two,
written by Mitch Warren Davis and Curtsey of ESPN Inc.
(42:37):
Other music arranged and performed by no horns allowed. My
announcer today is my friend Kenny Maine, who does not
appear curtisyvsp inc. Everything else was as ever my fault.
That's countdown for today, just one four hundred and six
days until the scheduled end of his lane duck lame
brained dictatorship, unless Musk removes him sooner or the actuarial
(43:01):
tables due. The next scheduled countdown is Thursday. Again. We'll
see as always bulletins as the news warrants. Remember, impeach Trump.
Impeach Trump won't work now, but it will win the
Democrats the midterms if there are midterms, and there is
the easy way to get rid of Schumer. You thirty
(43:21):
six Democrats and Bernie Sanders just create the new Christy
Minstrels Party. Until next time, I'm Keith Olberman. Good morning,
good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith
(43:55):
Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your podcasts.
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. How
do you unseat a Senate Democratic leader asking for a democracy?
(00:31):
On the one hand, it is impossible. On the other hand,
it could be done in about forty eight minutes. There
is no process to force the Democrats to conduct a
new Senate leadership vote, even though by one measure, Chuck
Schumer would lose such a vote thirty seven to ten,
which is what he lost the vote in his own
party in his suicidal decision to enable Musk and Trump
(00:54):
to proceed unchecked as they rape the government and the
laws and the budget and the nation for the six months.
Democratic Party rules only mandate leadership elections with the start
of each new Congress. The last one was December third,
The one before that was December eighth, twenty twenty two.
(01:15):
The next one would be the third, eighth or tenth
of December twenty twenty six. The only way there would
be a new Democratic Party leadership election would be if
Schumer resigned or is forced to. On the other hand,
if the thirty six Democrats and the independent who broke
with Schumer in this catastrophe were to simply form their
(01:37):
own caucus and elect their own leader just to pick
a name at random. Chris Murphy of Connecticut Chuck Schumer
would be minority leader in name only. The risk of this,
of course, is a total fracture of the Democratic Party
inside the Senate and out of it, and the prospect
of an idiot like Fetterman or an invisible senator like
(01:58):
Jillibrand actually caucusing with the Republicans. On the other hand,
the only advantage of having forty seven non Trumpists instead
of thirty six non Trumpists or thirty seven non Trumpists
is that you could do things like stop Kloture on
the six month Musk Indemnification and Continuing Resolution bill. Except
(02:20):
your gutless, spineless, useless, clueless minority leader doesn't do that
and instead collaborates with the party of the insane dictator.
If he's not going to use forty seven votes, what's
the difference if he only has thirty seven votes or
if his successor only has thirty seven votes. Here is
(02:43):
the process as I understand it. Create the new Democrats
or Democrats two point zero, or the new Zoo Review
or the new Christy minstrels, doesn't matter. Just position them
as the actual minority in the Senate, they have the
second most votes. Point out to sh Schumer, he is
(03:05):
now leader of the third party in the Senate, and
if he does not resign as Democratic leader, you will
not let him join your new caucus, and you won't
let the other losers in either. Senator Murphy, for one,
is not leading this revolt, not any way at the moment.
(03:25):
On NBC yesterday, do you think that Leader Schumer is
the best person to lead your caucus in this moment,
Senator Murphy. Senator Schumer certainly can lead this caucus, NBC,
would you consider that role? Murphy? I don't think anybody's
having that conversation right now right now, but the American
people certainly aren't having that conversation right now. The Democratic
(03:48):
Party certainly is having that conversation right The f now
CNN poll yesterday, Democrats and Democratic leading Independence now say
fifty seven to forty two percent that Democrats should mainly
work to stop the Trump agenda, not work with the
GOP just to get some of their own ideas into
(04:09):
legislation fifty seven to forty two. The NBC poll asks
the same question in a different way. Should Democrats stick
to their positions, even if that risks sacrificing by partisan progress.
The answer is yes, sixty five to thirty two. Eight
(04:29):
years ago that poll came in No. Fifty nine to
thirty three. It went from thirty three to fifty nine
to sixty five thirty two. And these new polls, these landslides,
these are before what Schumer did last Friday. God knows
how bad these numbers are now, but whatever they are,
(04:52):
they actually add up to just one thing. Chuck Schumer
is done if the Democratic Senators want him done, or
if the Democratic Party explains to them that Schumer is done,
if they explain this in public loudly, immediately. Discretion is
the better part of valor, or at least fear is
(05:14):
the better part of valor. And all day yesterday I
kept waiting to hear that the start of Chuck Schumer's
book tour tonight in Baltimore had been postponed or canceled,
or he had laryngitis, where they had forgotten to ship
the books, or print the books or write the books.
But if Schumer could actually make a career ending and
(05:35):
maybe a democracy ending decision like he did on the
Musk indemnification and continuing Resolution Bill. Why wouldn't he be
stupid enough to walk out at the Central Library in
Baltimore tonight so he can get booed off the stage.
Some people one day just run out of smart. Chuck
(06:01):
Schumer live tonight in Baltimore, Live at Politics and Pros
at sixth and I in DC. Wednesday night, live at
the Weitzman Museum in DC, Thursday afternoon, live at the
Moss Theater in Santa Monica Sunday. Or this event has
been unexpectedly canceled. There will be no Chuck Schumer and
(06:21):
there will be no refunds. I hope now three days
after they each lit themselves on fire, only to discover
it just wasn't enough for insane Dictator Trump, I hope
soon to be former leader one way or the other.
Schumer and Senators Fetterman and Jillibrand and the others who
(06:44):
sold out the democracy and more immediately their colleagues in
the House. And I hope the executives at MSNBC who
remember fired or demoted all the hosts of Color, and
the executives at CNN who thought they could hold insane
Dictator Trump at bay. I hope they have all understood
where we are, and in particular way, where they are
(07:07):
here is where we are. Donald Trump is insane. There
is only one path through his insanity towards restoring America
as a democracy, as a nation independent of Putin, as
a place not to be ashamed of. It is to
destroy Trump's presidency. Destroy his presidency. Nothing else will stop him.
(07:34):
His last remaining human emotion is vengeance. And nothing you do,
no matter how horrish, pandering, obvious, remorseful, no matter how
much money or ky jelly covered praise it contains, we'll
register with him. He wants to destroy you, He wants
(07:54):
to destroy the country, but he wants Schumer, MSNBC, CNN.
He wants to destroy you, guys.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
And I believe that CNN and MSDNC, who literally write
ninety seven point six percent bad about mere political arms
of the Democrat Party, And in my opinion, they're really
corrupt and they're illegal.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
What they do is illegal.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
So hey, CNN, how's letting that pimp Scott Jennings take
over prime time? Working out for you? Insane dictator? Trump
basically told the DOJ Friday afternoon, arrest CNN, good thing,
Tapper and Bash that you didn't fact check him in
the debate last year. Backstage at the DOJ, Trump probably
(08:46):
mentioned the two of you by name. I'd rather have
a questioning audience, said CNN's Chris Licked two point zero.
He's British. His name is Mark Thompson at an event
on trust in the media on the first of this month.
I think we should draw our eyes about the loss
of traditional trust. Congratulations, Lord Thompson, you have succeeded now.
(09:07):
Nobody trusts CNN, not your former audience, not others in
news media, and obviously not Trump and his terrorists. Cell Actually,
I take that last part back. All of us, Trump included,
can trust CNN to do the wrong thing. And as
to Schumer, I really wonder if he will be stupid
(09:29):
enough to go out in public tonight or on the
rest of his tour, because a man in his position
can be that stupid can convince themselves. They won't protest me.
I'm the leader of the party in the Senate. He
can convince themselves. This is just an extreme version of
traditional politics that Trump is enacting, and not a slow
motion replay of January sixth, only with the brute force
(09:54):
added of law enforcement and bureaucracy. People like Schumer can
convince themselves. People may be mad at him, or they
were mad at him last week, but they're not that
mad and they're certainly not that mad at him this week. Chuck,
we are that mad at you. I don't think you
(10:15):
should resign a Senate Democratic leader. I think you should
resign from the Senate and Jillibrand with you. This is war.
It is a non shooting war. God help us, maybe
only for now. And Schumer is clueless, weak, selfish, arrogant,
(10:36):
and worst of all, myopic to try to finesse his
criminally incorrect vote on this, to hide the intention of
his vote to be General George B. McClellan when we
need General ulysses ask goddamned grant and to sell out
the House Democrats. It's unforgivable. It is literally unforgivable. There
(10:58):
is no path back for Chuck Schumer. Powell's Central Library,
four hundred Cathedral Street, Baltimore, Maryland, seven pm. Be there, Aloha,
And what did Chuck Schumer get out of this? What
(11:19):
can be carved on his political tombstone? He ended his
career pleasing Trump. Congratulations to Chuck Schumer for doing the
right thing took quote guts un quote and courage the
big tax cuts, LA firefix, debt ceiling bill, and so
much more is coming. We should all work together on
(11:41):
that very dangerous situation. A non pass would be a
country destroyer. Approval will lead us to new heights again,
really good and smart move by Senator Schumer. This could
lead to something big for the USA, a whole new
direction and beginning exclamation point. Does it worry you at all?
Chuck that? Twenty four hours after that statement, insane, Dictator
(12:05):
Trump's lawyers told a federal court he has an inherent
right under Article to to deport anybody immigrant or otherwise
on what he and he alone says, our national security grounds.
And does it worry you? Chuck that? Twelve hours before
he praised you for doing the right thing. Twelve hours
(12:26):
before that, Donald Trump decided you are no longer Jewish.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
And Schumer is a Palestinian as far as I'm concerned.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
You know, he's become a Palestinian. He is to be Jewish.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
He's not Jewish anymore.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
He's a Palestinian. Okay, ah, yeah, but he's never gonna
do something like that again, not as long as he
thinks he owns you because you did something he desperately
needed you to do, and you were the only one
who could do it, and so now he might as
well own you, or I don't know to port you.
(13:02):
You know what you do when somebody says that about you, chuck,
You ask for a meeting with him, a photo op,
and when the cameras are all rolling, then you kick
him in the balls and you take the consequences. You
don't make a deal with him the next day, selling
out the people who put you in office. Politicos sometimes
(13:23):
uses anonymous sources irresponsibly, but I'm not sure that's the
case here. They often also look through the wrong end
of the telescope, and I'm not sure that's the case
here either. Quote one Democratic senator granted anonymity to share
private discussions, said conversations are starting about whether Schumer should
be their leader going forward. There's a lot of concern
about the failure to have a plan and execute on it,
(13:46):
the senator said. It's not like you couldn't figure out
that this is what was going to happen behind closed doors.
Even some longtime Schumer allies are raising the specter that
his time has passed. Quote. Biden is gone, Pelosi is
in the background. Schumer is the last one left from
that older generation, said one New York based donor who
is a long I'm supporter of a leader. I do
(14:06):
worry that the older generation thinks twenty twenty four was
just about inflation. But no, the game has changed. It's
not left wing or moderate. It's everyone now saying the
game is different now. But he was set up to
battle in two thousand and six, and we're a long
way from two thousand and six. Or, as the Hollywood
writer director Mike Samonek wrote, much more succinctly, I don't
(14:29):
want to say the Schumer optics are bad, but Gavin
Newsom just invited him on his podcast. There are two
(15:03):
other polling notes from those polls. Yesterday. The CNN one
asked Democrats to pick the leader who quote best reflects
the core values of the party. Aoc Is at the
top at ten percent, Kamala at nine, Bernie at eight,
a King Jeffreys at six, Jasmine Krocket at four, Obama
(15:23):
at four. Oh yeah, Obama, Remember Obama. I'm sure he'll
be dropping a protest playlist any day, soon after he
does his hoops bracket Chuck Schumer. Chuck Schumer is at
two percent. No One the choice no One is at
thirty percent. AOC has five times Schumer's support. No One
(15:51):
has fifteen times Schumer's support, and Schumer at two percent
is tied with Elyssa Slotkin. The other poll, Trump's favorability
among all voters is already four points underwater and twelve
underwater on the economy. I mean, how do you f
this up in both directions, Chuck? Just as Trump begins
(16:14):
to drown on the economy, and just as Elon Musk
was retweeting somebody who wrote Stalin Mao and Hitler didn't
murder millions of people, their public sector workers did, and
even in the White House, Musk was seen to be imploding.
And then, in response to that imploding, the White House
(16:34):
itself managed to implode and attack the racist Musk by
going even more racist than him. Musk blithely tells Cudlow
Scotchy Scotchy scotch on Fox Business about cutting entitlements. In
her Red Letter newsletter, Tara Palmery writes, even though Trump's
staffers are terrified of Musk, they know that if you
(16:56):
try to cut social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid you die
politically speaking. Quote, it's no longer simmer r resistance. People
are effing furious. Set a source with knowledge of the situation,
and then comes the the coup de lack of grass. Quote.
(17:18):
Medicaid is not just for black people in the ghetto.
These are our voters. Unquote. Set a Republican operative close
to the White House. How is that not the quote
on the lips of every Democrat in this country today?
(17:39):
Medicaid is not just for black people in the ghetto.
Set a Republican operative close to the White House. These
are our voters. How is it not the quote on
every Democrat's lip today? Two words Chuck Schumer or maybe
the quote from that little TOWRP. Marco Rubio, who, like Schumer,
(18:00):
actually thought he could bargain with Trump and instead wound
up having to be the front man for the first
assault on freedom of speech and extra legal extraditions and
now having to expel the duly appointed South African ambassador
to the United States because Elon wants to make apartheid
great again. Rubio had to call South Africa's ambassador Rasoul
(18:22):
quote a race baiting politician who hates America, who is
no longer welcome here because Rasoul gave a speech Friday
in which he said Trump was quote mobilizing white supremacy
in the US and abroad as well. So what's your
complain about that, little Marco? Trump is mobilizing white supremacy
(18:45):
in the US, and so is Musk, And so Marco,
are you you complicit? Little shit? And by the way,
a race baiting politician who hates America and is no
longer welcome here, Marco, since that also describes Trump, does
this mean you're going to expel Trump? Because somebody is
(19:08):
damn well, gonna have to also of interest here. I'm
under the weather, so this will be kind of short today.
But the worst person's list is the never ending feast.
And as the world collapses and Trump openly ignores the
courts and starts deporting people illegally. Yesterday, guess what the
(19:29):
lead story was at Politico. The tone of a DC
dinner for reporters, the tone, I swear to God, ah,
there's nothing fatally wrong with our media political industrial complex.
Now that's next urseless countdown. This is countdown with Keith
(19:57):
Olberman still ahead on countdown when I'm sick. I always
(20:22):
think of my craziest visit to the doctor ever I
was twenty one ish and the somewhat surprising outcome. So
my face stuck to the side of the train and
they had to help me break free from the window.
Like that's never happened to you first, believe it or not.
(20:45):
There's still more new idiots to talk about. The daily
roundup of the misgrints, morons and dunning Kruger effects specimens
who constitute today's other worst persons in the world. Here
are the nominees, the Bronze Worse Potigo. I know I
praised them earlier. Like Trump, this only lasts three to
(21:05):
four minutes. That's as much time as it's going to
buy you. Illegal deportations, US citizens being locked up because
they were born somewhere else and were told JA I
was sick. I'm going to leave that in for evidence
(21:26):
illegal deportations US citizens being locked up because no, I
really did leave that in because they were born somewhere
else and we're returning to the country. Elon Musk still
eluding the much needed tranquilizing Dart Schumer imploding, and the
lead item in Sunday's Politico playbook newsletter The grid Iron
(21:48):
Dinner Saturday night in Washington. The grid Iron Dinner, despite
the name, that's a journalism event, and to be fair,
Politico is about about Washington and about journalism about Washington.
I know that's not always evident from what they write,
especially with the drama constantly surrounding the people who work
(22:10):
there and the new fascist owners from Europe. But do
you think once, just once, you could lead with the
earth shattering news like if Schumer is going to be deposed,
or if there are planes full of people who have
a legal right to be here who have been illegally
deported by the insane dictator of the United States, instead
(22:33):
of a few words about the e FFing grid Iron Dinner.
Twenty six paragraphs about the grid Iron Dinner. The first
twenty six paragraphs of your newsletter, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. I'll
get to the news somewhere, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, Politico, twenty
(22:56):
six paragraphs about the grid Iron Dinner and how they
didn't toast the President. I will confess I am sufficiently
under the weather that when I first read they toasted
the president, my mood cheered briefly, Where's the photo of
that Holy crap. I also realized that for a couple
of years I have been mistakenly telling people that it
was at the grid Iron Dinner that Dick Cheney as
(23:18):
vice president made that joke about me that I still love.
It wasn't at the grid Iron dinner. It was at
the radio and TV correspondence dinner. And yes, if it's
a Saturday, there is another Journalismalism dinner in DC. Since
you asked, I'll just well, I was going to read
the way adwe covered it, but you know the clip
(23:40):
is on YouTube, so in case you don't know it.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Moe's blog is titled Moe Rock a one to eighty
only half as tedious as the regular News. Among his
other credits, Moe used to host a TV show called
Things I Hate About You. I'm sure I've seen that program,
only I believe it's now called Countdown with Keith Overman.
(24:16):
Keith's not here tonight to savor my company.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
But we roared now. I'm Jack Tarynian I's a joke
about Keith Olderman. Anyway, The point of this was the
first twenty six paragraphs on a Dinner like That about
jokes like that. The first twenty six man not the
like six paragraphs of headlines and then twenty six paragraphs
about the Gridiron dinner, but the first twenty six paragraphs
(24:42):
underscoring this fact. The night they finally kidnap all the
reporters off the streets, the last thing every Washington correspondent
will file is a piece about what their friends were
wearing at the time they were disappeared. The runner up
(25:02):
worser Alina Habba, Official Administration nit wit. I've said it
so many times, you can say it with me. The
future and survival of democracy depends less on our strenuous
efforts to preserve it than it does on the stupidity
of those who intend to destroy it. That is being
tested now. But as long as we have the Secretary
(25:24):
of knit wittedness, Alna Habba, I believe we will prevail
after we get rid of Schumer. Alina Haba responding to
something or another about about the attempts to stop human
extortion and trafficking. And I don't know if they were claiming,
(25:45):
I don't know who they're claiming the Pope is a trap.
I don't know who they were claiming. There was a
trafficker and Alena Haba writes, thank you, let's pray for
the many victims of human extortion as a result of
the last administration's neglect and failures. And then the prayer
emoji and this note, this community note. Alina Habas supported
(26:08):
the Tate brothers who are under investigation for human trafficking.
There's a reason you go into parking lot law, and
that's because it's a challenge to you. I wanted to
stretch my mind. It went entirely one inch wide. But
(26:28):
the winner is the worst. Marco Rubio and naive butclely
bukill As you know, a federal court blocked the illegal
deportation of Venezuelans by the insane dictator to a concentration
camp in a third party country, El Salvador. Planes were
in the air already, and so the administration decided not
(26:50):
to turn the planes around and announced it was not
defying the court, and announced it was defying the court.
Marco Rubio, the little Shit secretary of Little Shit, boasted
about it as the president of Al Salvador. It's just
a brand name. There's not really a president, Like we
don't really have a president. We have an insane dictator.
(27:12):
Naib Bukel, president of Al Salvador, screenshoted the headline from
the New York Post about the judge blocking Trump from
invoking the Alien Enemies Act, and President Bukel added quote
oopsie too late and added the crying laughing emoji because
somewhere along the line emoji became fascist. That's President asshole
(27:37):
of l Salvador. Yeah, keep laughing. See you at the
World Court at the Hague, buddy in twenty twenty nine,
unless your own people take care of their problem. Five
years ago, this alleged president wanted approval from the Salvadoran
Legislative Assembly for a one hundred and nine million dollar
loan for his territorial control plan. So to deliver the message,
(27:59):
President Bukake or whatever his name is, sent forty soldiers
over to the Legislative Assembly to say hello. In twenty nineteen,
President Bukela introduced that plan, the Territorial Control Plan, to
reduce the homicide rate. It was reduced only actor alleged
the US Department of State. Bukell negotiated with the gangs
(28:22):
in Al Salvador to reduce the homicide rate. Hey do
me a solid kill fewer people okay, and you know
who alleged that were the State Department under which President
alleged he did that, Trump's State Department. But now Trump's
new horror at the State Department. Marco, he's Besti's with
this guy, Marco Rubio and alleged President Bukelly of Al Salvador.
(28:48):
What happened to that guy to Turte from the Philippines again?
Oh oh boy, two days worst persons. I can't hit
this high note in the world. To the number one
(29:12):
story on the Countdown and things I promise not to tell.
And this is anything but an important career story. But
I was reminded of it recently and I laughed like hell,
so I thought maybe you should too. I haven't seen
all of them in this country, but to my mind,
the most underrated of American rivers is the one I
grew up along. The Hudson gets a bad rap because
it's associated with New York City and the deteriorating remnants
(29:36):
of the city's once dominant piers, some of which have
been unused and rotting for half a century now. But
further upstate, literally just past the city line, the Hudson
is a magnificent river just to watch, never mind ride on.
This is particularly true during a stretch in which the
western side of the river is fronted by a series
of sheer cliffs called the Palisades, brownish black and striated,
(30:01):
carved as the river took shape millions of years ago,
but always looking like they had been carefully designed for
esthetic effect. Unfortunately, they are best seen from the commuter
railroad that runs along the Hudson into Westchester County, New York,
instead of a series of parks or even private palaces.
Our forefathers had the presence of mind to build factories
(30:22):
and copper processing plants and other nightmares right on the
Hudson because of the obvious transportation benefits the Hudson provided,
and so the train tracks were laid out next to
the river because that made it even easier to get
stuff to and from the big city. And damn the
views or the ability to appreciate life on the water
or the pollution. Still, if you ever find yourself now
(30:46):
taking a train from Grand Central Station into the western
half of Westchester, get a window seat on the left
side of the trainer. Better yet, when you come back
into New York City, sit on the right side on
the river side, and you will get fifteen minutes or
more of the most magnificent view inable out the big windows. Winter's, spring, summer,
(31:08):
or fall. The palisades provide the Hudson with a magnificent
frame that's almost like a miniature Grand Canyon. I remember
thinking of all this that one day early in nineteen
eighty I was finally feeling a little better, thanks to
doctor Cecilini. Doctor Cecelini had been my physician since I
was a boy, and he was the school doctor, and
(31:29):
he'd been the town doctor since about nineteen forty four,
and he always name dropped other patients I'd never heard of.
And as I finished my last growth spurt at the
end of my twentieth year, I had frequent back pain,
no fun at all, and sleeping on the floor helped
a little, but not enough. And finally Cecilini, who had
been a hospital doctor during World War Two and had
(31:50):
seen everything, said hey, just get this prescription filled. Take
one on them every day for the next week. It's
called a muscle relaxing. This will loosen up your back
als lessen the pain. Well, bet, just don't you know,
don't operate any heavy machinery, do you operate heavy machinery
when you do those sportscasts. Yars Keith had a patient
(32:13):
try to run a processor at the copper factory while
he took this nineteen fifty seven, we lost three fingers.
Leonardo ben Venuti. You know any of the ben Venuties
used to live on Williams Street. I laughed, this was
him every time, the ben Venuti's on Williams Street, the
Smith's on william Street, the Williams on Smith Street. Anyway,
(32:36):
back to the muscle relaxes, I don't think I had
ever heard of them before, let alone taken one. I
took my barking back to the pharmacy in my hometown
of Hastings on Hudson, New York. I got the prescription filled,
I bought a soda at the pizza parlor across the street,
and I ambled down the tiny village's picturesque business district.
It's three blocks long, past the statue our old neighbor,
(32:58):
Jacques Lipshits donated, and the ultra modern library, and right
into the train station. It was January. He was about
twelve degrees and as I waited for the train to
make its forty minute trip into the city and my
job as a sportscaster for the radio network of United
pres International. I took the pill what were they called again,
muscle muscle relaxance that doctor C had given me and
(33:21):
given his other patient, Rico Rendazzo, Or was that some
guy he mentioned in nineteen sixty six to me? I
worked the night shift at UPI, so the train was
almost always empty, and thus I almost always had my
choice of window seats. Midday and midwinter combined to make
the sun glisten with extra sparkle off the magnificent Hudson,
(33:41):
and the sun's angle was such that the palisades behind
them gleamed brightly as well. And I was thinking about
just how gorgeous they were, and how underrated the Hudson was,
and and I felt myself drifting away. I felt two hands,
one on each shoulder, shaking me violently. Buddy, Hey, Hey, hey, hey, buddy.
(34:06):
I fought to open my eyes and to avoid the
bad breath now enveloping my face. As I finally came around,
I realized it was the conductor who had just taken
my ticket. The train wasn't moving. In fact, only half
of the lights were on in the train. The palisades
were long gone, not the Hudson nor the palisades, but
(34:27):
darkness came in through the windows. I was completely confused.
Am I shake it off? You gotta get out of here.
This is as far as we go. Train's going out
of service. You don't get off now, you'll be parked
under thirty seven straight for the rest of the day.
Through my fog and my haze, I finally began to
understand what had happened and where I was, and I
began to try to stand when a horrifying awareness overtook me.
(34:50):
I could not move the right side of my face.
What was worse, I could barely feel the right side
of my face. Good God, what had happened to me?
Was this like that haunting episode of Alfred Hitchcock where
the woman is struggling to wake up and remember the
details of the accident out on San Francisco Bay the
night before, only as it finally comes back to her,
(35:13):
it turns out the accident had drowned her boyfriend, and
the reason it was so difficult to remember was, as
she realized only when she got up and saw her
reflection in a mirror, that the accident hadn't happened last night,
but it had happened in nineteen oh five, and she'd
been in an insane asylum for half a century. Was
that what had happened to me? No? Actually, as I
(35:34):
discovered when my struggle finally freed my face from the
train window to which it had stuck, because I had
drooled for like thirty five consecutive minutes, because I had
taken the muscle relaxant, because I had taken an honest
empty stomach, because I knew nothing about muscle relaxans, because
I was out cold with my mouth open, pressed up
(35:55):
against the train window on a twelve degree day, and
I had gotten frozen to the glass. Look, it was
not quite half a century in an insane asylum, but
certainly more embarrassing. It seemed like it took me half
a century to pull all of this together. I stood
up wobbly. I apologized to the conductor, and I mumbled
(36:19):
back pain new drug. And as I banked from one
side of the doorway to the other and bounced out
onto the platform, the conductor shouted after me, only take
him at night? Huh that little saga? Yeah, Doc, my
back is better, But I left half the skin on
my right cheek frozen into the one twenty from Hastings
(36:41):
to Grand Central. He'd probably say, yeah, that happened to
another patient of mine, Carlo John Lombardo. That reminded me
of a much later story from doctor Cecilini, and I
don't want to leave the wrong impression here. Edward Cecilini
was a terrific doctor. He practiced into his nineties. He
used to tell me to come visit him at his
practice in his home on Farragut Parkway anytime I was
(37:03):
up from the city visiting my folks, Well, Josh shoot
the braise, and he'd tell me about something about treating
Umberto Flambini in the Army Hospital in nineteen forty four.
And he'd asked me if I went to school with
Marco Bartolini and then say he had to go. He
was taking a course over at Sony Purchase about the
latest computer aided diagnostic till the man was ninety years old.
(37:25):
He never stopped learning. Great man, and did he howl
at the muscle relaxing story. Sorry, sorry, I didn't warn you.
Oh well, I just take him at Naida. I had
another patient do that nineteen seventeen. He's just all right. Anyway.
Now it's nineteen ninety five and I'm working at ESPN
(37:45):
and I'm supposed to fly to Vancouver to do a
cameo in an Adam Sandler golf movie, which I suppose
was Happy Gilmour. And I didn't want to try to
fly to Chicago and then change for Vancouver after going
the two hours from the middle of Connecticut to JFK.
So I came in to my folks house the day before,
I took the folks out to dinner, stayed over in
the spare room to leave from their house to the
(38:07):
airport in the morning, and at some point in the
middle of the night, I began to have chest pains.
Literally the top of my ribs hurt and my breathing
was constricted, and I couldn't get back to sleep. And
now I'm thinking, I don't know what's wrong, but something
is wrong. So I canceled the trip and I head
up to doctor Cecilini as soon as he's opened up
shop and he's eighty five now, and he gives me
the big welcome as usual, and I tell him the
(38:28):
story and he says, oh, yeah, I think it's nothing
to worry about, but we we should get this on
the record, just in case your movie company gets pissy
with you about canceling dad. Happened to another friend of mine,
patient Francesco Lola Bridget. He had a cameo and Moby
Dick in nineteen fifty six. He had cancel He wanted
it soon. How about you get your dad. Just drive
(38:49):
you up to the hospital in Dobbs Ferry. I meet
you there and oh like half an hour, hour and
a half something like that. Let me just run a
couple of tests on you. When we got you out.
There's no rush whatsoever. What's ther now? He stares off
into space for a second, and he looks back at me.
He says, I got I got an idea a little simpler.
I have to go there later. I have to drop
(39:10):
off some paperwork on some other guy, Frisco Gaspoci No Frisco. Anyway,
Just give me a second. I'll call him. I'll tell
him what coming on. Just you just hop in the
car with me and go out in the waiting room.
I'm gonna call him about Frisco. And I got to
worry about doctor patient confidentiality. But about Frisco Gospooci, Sa
you know, I gotta worry about that, so I don't
want you listening to that. So now ed cecil and
(39:33):
he's driving me to Dobb's Ferry Hospital, and I'm thinking
about how much he defines the idea of a really
dedicated doctor, and how every other patient he's ever mentioned
to me, I've never heard of one of them. And
we get to the hospital. I don't know. We talked
about baseball or my folks or something, and he drives
right up to the er and we walk in like
it's nothing, and he waves to the admitting nurse, Hi, Sheila,
(39:53):
how's your soign Shila? And he points at me. He says,
that's the guy, and he says, like it was absolutely
the way they do it at every hospital. You can
go all his info from him. After we run this
little check on all right, We go right into the
room and two nurses are in there and they say hi,
and one of them tells me to take off my shirt.
The other starts shaving places on my chest, and before
I know what's happening, I've got electrodes on me and
(40:15):
they're hooking me up to an EKG and they're drawing blood.
In Cecillini reads the start of the EKJ print out,
and he smiles at me and says, I'm sorry I
scammed you. But the way you described your chest pains,
I thought it was fifty to fifty. He had had
a heart attack. Last thing I want to do is
tell you that just in case you had had a
heart attack. And then he had another one that happened
to another patient of mine, Bernardo Petrosante. You know, Bernardo, Oh,
(40:38):
let me only know this. Ah, you're fine. Let me
just wait on the blood gases, double check that, go
out there and do the paperwork for shill at the desk.
I think it's just a muscle problem. The son of
a gun had not only made sure I didn't know
it might be serious, it might be heart attack serious.
But he conned me into going to the emergency room
(41:01):
without alarming me or even letting me know that was
his plan along. And as I'm brushing the shaved hairs
off my chest and putting my shirt on, I say thanks,
and then it hits me, Hey, another thing, Doc, Bernardo
Pietra Sante and Umberto Flambini, and all these other patients
you've mentioned all these years, they don't really exist, do they?
(41:24):
And he says, oh, got me about that. I learned
a long time ago. Make sure your patient never feels
like they're the first idiot to have done this to themselves.
Come on, I'll give you a lift back to your folks.
Might look in and see how your dad's doing. If
he's got a moment. I've done all the damage I
(41:52):
can do here. Thank you for listening. Once again, my
apologies for the relative brevity. Not feeling that great, but
you'd never know it from my performance here today. And
you know why that is because I'm tough. Also because
you can edit out all the bad stuff. Brian Ray
and John Phillip Schanel, the musical directors of Countdown, arranged,
(42:14):
produced and performed most of our music and still I'd
rather go live. Mister Shanelle handled orchestration and keyboards. Mister
Ray was on the guitars, bass and drums. It was
produced by Tko Brothers. Our satirical and pithy musical comments
are by the best baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Faust.
The sports music is the Olderman theme from ESPN two,
written by Mitch Warren Davis and Curtsey of ESPN Inc.
(42:37):
Other music arranged and performed by no horns allowed. My
announcer today is my friend Kenny Maine, who does not
appear curtisyvsp inc. Everything else was as ever my fault.
That's countdown for today, just one four hundred and six
days until the scheduled end of his lane duck lame
brained dictatorship, unless Musk removes him sooner or the actuarial
(43:01):
tables due. The next scheduled countdown is Thursday. Again. We'll
see as always bulletins as the news warrants. Remember, impeach Trump.
Impeach Trump won't work now, but it will win the
Democrats the midterms if there are midterms, and there is
the easy way to get rid of Schumer. You thirty
(43:21):
six Democrats and Bernie Sanders just create the new Christy
Minstrels Party. Until next time, I'm Keith Olberman. Good morning,
good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith
(43:55):
Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your podcasts.
Host
Keith Olbermann
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