July 18, 2023 • 41 mins
EPISODE 248: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
A-Block (1:42) SPECIAL COMMENT: Judge Aileen Mercedes Cannon will now begin to decide whether we all live or die. This, sadly, is not hyperbole. A federal judge who has presided over a total of four trials for a total of fourteen days will today make the first of a series of decisions that will ultimately end with whether we all live or die. The forest really CAN never be seen because we’re next to the trees and how fitting the analogy is because while we are down here taking samples of the bark to check markings by Jack Smith, the big picture is: this judge, Aileen Cannon will at minimum help decide whether or not Donald Trump is kept out of the White House and that will at minimum help decide whether or not we have any chance of maintaining a president who will lead this nation and thus this world through climate change.
It really is that stark, and I think we forget about it and then something snaps the picture into focus and in my case it IS two pictures. The first is that one grinning idiot in the black "SAN DIEGO" shirt and the black shorts and the black cap and the black sunglasses in Death Valley taking selfies with a digital thermometer reading 131 degrees - both as if that heat couldn’t hill him, personally, and as if that 131 degree temperature was temporary or transient or unique to that locale or something he has to take a picture of so he can preserve it for his grandchildren and oh by the way at the present rate of acceleration of the climate catastrophe don’t worry about preserving it for your grandchildren because you’re not going to have any, nor is anybody else, because the last words Donald Trump ever speaks on this earth will be about how money is more important than anything or how climate change is a hoax or both and if any of the existential decisions about this planet of the next five years are made with Trump as president - we're all dead.
The other image was this redneck Jason Aldean, the pride of MAGA, New Year’s Eve guest at Mar-a-Lago, the yodeling darling of the Climate Denial crowd dropping a song on Friday daring black protestors to – to quote the title “Try That In A Small Town” – and then having to run off the stage and get two IV’s stuck in him so he didn’t lose consciousness while singing the ferocious tropical heat of Hartford, Connecticut. In July. At night. But there’s no man-made climate change. Try THAT in a Small Town, Jason, after the energy grid has failed and your governor chased away all the doctors because Woke.
109 in Rome, 110 expected in Miami, 126 in Sanbao China, 152 at Persian Gulf Airport which is in Iran but closer to Dubai than anywhere else and it didn’t matter because it was 152. So if the power had failed at Persian Gulf Airport, I mean, again, energy grid failure -- as if it were Texas -- there would’ve been a mass casualty event. Judge Cannon is to tell Trump’s lawyers and Walt Nauta’s lawyers and Jack Smith’s team some preliminary findings about the process for handling classified information at the trial and all the indications she gave yesterday suggested she would be adding an item to the agenda: the planned trial start date and timeline and we are now on the path.
She won't be the only one who decides whether we all live or die. But she gets the first set of decisions.As to us, history doesn’t usually SCHEDULE stuff this important in advance. It didn't warn us about Bubonic Plague or Archduke Ferdinand or Hitler or John Brown. But it's warning us in advance about this. I guess that means we're lucky.
B-Block (17:30) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Flynn and Bannon are subpoenaed for the Smartmatic suit against Fox. So? Do they tell the truth, or lie? Harlan Crow tries to deduct the Good Ship Super-Yacht Clarence Thomas; Pink Beret Girl from 1/6 is finally found - and turned in by an EX. And the rule of thumb in cable news is: the first week of a new show is its ratings peak. Which means Kaitlin Collins soon will not be watching her own program. (22:51) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Megyn Kelly blasts RFK Jr's sister because Meg is too dumb to know what RFK Jr's sister DOES; The mayor betrays Atlanta over Cop City; and brilliant plan, Vivek Ramaswamy: on the Supreme Court, he wants: Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, and the judge who protected a Beauty Pageant's right to discriminate against transgendered people.
C-Block (28:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: If Lionel Messi really is going to debut for the Miami MLS team Friday we have to welcome him in the only way Countdown can. Whatever your watch may say, it's always SOCCER BREAKDOWN O'CLOCK!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio Today,
Eileen Mercedes Cannon will begin to decide whether we all
(00:28):
live or die. This sadly is not hyperbole. The federal judge,
who has presided over a total of four trials for
a total of fourteen days in the totality of her life,
will today make the first of a series of decisions
that will ultimately end with whether we all live or die.
(00:49):
The forest really can never be seen because we are
next to the trees. And how fitting the analogy is
because while we are down here taking samples of the
bark to check markings by Jack Smith. The big picture
is this Judgeileen Cannon will at minimum help to decide
whether or not Donald Trump is kept out of the
(01:10):
White House, and that will at minimum help to decide
whether or not we have any chance of maintaining a
president who will lead this nation and thus this world
through climate change and the changes we must make in
response to it. It really is that stark, and I
think we forget about it, and then something snaps the
(01:30):
picture into focus, and in my case it is two pictures.
The first is that one grinning idiot in the black
san Diego shirt and the black shorts and the black
cap and the black sunglasses in Death Valley, California, taking
selfies with a digital thermometer reading one hundred and thirty
one degrees, both as if that heat could not kill
(01:53):
him personally, and as if that one hundred and thirty
one degree temperature was temporary or transient or unique to
that locale or something he has to take a picture
of so he can preserve it for his grandchildren. And know,
by the way, at the present rate of acceleration of
the climate catastrophe, don't worry about preserving it for your grandchildren,
because you're not going to have any nor is anybody else,
(02:15):
because the last words Donald Trump will ever speak on
this earth will be about how money is more important
than anything else, or how climate change is a hoax.
We're both. The other image was of this redneck Jason Aldean,
the pride of Maga New Year's Eve guest at marri Lago,
Trump kissed the top of his wife's head. She posted photos.
(02:37):
Trump is clearly staring down passed her head into her cleavage.
He is the yodeling darling of the climate denial crowd
and dropping a song last Friday, daring black protesters to
quote the title. Try that in a small town, and
then two days later he had to run off the
stage and get two ivs stuck in him so he
(02:59):
did not lose consciousness while singing in the ferocious tropical
heat of Hartford, Connecticut in July at night. But there's
no man made climate change. Try that in a small town, Jason,
after the energy grid there has failed and your governor
(03:21):
has chased away all the hospitals and the doctors because
woke as I stared at the Canadian wildfire smoke out
my window. Yesterday, a baseball announcer on my TV was
complaining about the Canadian wildfire smoke out his window in Cincinnati, Ohio.
It was one hundred and nine degrees in Rome, and
(03:42):
they were laughing about that in Miami, where the first
ever excessive heat warning predicted one hundred and ten degrees,
and they were laughing about that in Sanbao in China,
where it was one hundred and twenty six degrees. And no,
they were not laughing at Persian Gulf Airport, which is
in Iran but is actually closer to Dubai than anywhere else,
and it didn't matter, because it was one hundred and
(04:05):
fifty two one hundred and fifty two degrees at Persian
Golf Airport in Iran. The last actual safe temperature for
the average human is a wet bulb thermometer reading of
ninety five degrees. So if at one hundred and fifty
two the power had failed at Persian Golf Airport, I
(04:26):
mean again energy grid failure. As if this were Texas,
there would have been a mass casualty event. Judge Cannon
is to tell Trump's lawyers and Walton out his lawyers
and Jack Smith's team of lawyers. Some preliminary findings about
the process for handling classified information at the Trump trial,
(04:48):
and all the indications she gave yesterday suggested she would
be adding an item to the agenda, the planned trial
start date and timeline discuss history does not usually schedule
stuff this important in a time advance and tell us
about it. Everybody in Europe was not informed on June fifteenth, Hey,
(05:11):
on the twenty eighth Archduke Ferdinand of Austro Hungary. He's
gonna make this damn fool trip anyway to Sarajevo, and
though the bomb they will throw at him at the
train station is gonna miss The Archduke will still be
too stupid to call off the trip at that point,
and his driver, who doesn't speak German, won't understand the
(05:32):
revised driving rout out of the city, so he'll take
the old one and he'll wind up on Franz Joseph
Street and he'll have to pull a U turn right
in front of where one of the bomb throwers co
conspirators happens to be standing desponded because the plot failed.
So the co conspirator can put bullets into the Archduke
and the arch Duchess and that will start the World
War and twenty million people will die. And because the
peace will resolve nothing, there'll be another World war in
(05:54):
twenty five years, seventy five million more people will die.
So don't make other plans for the twenty eighth that
doesn't happen. We were not forewarned about the day John
Brown decided, yeah, okay, I'm doing this. I'm going to
Harper's Ferry, and nobody in ten sixty six told England
the Normans will be here Wednesday, and the media was
(06:15):
not alerted when Hitler was let out early because they
were convinced he po's no further threat. And nobody pointed
at that one rat scurrying off the ship just anchoring
at Messina and said that's the one bubonic plague right there.
And nobody ever said, hey, my feet hurt. Tomorrow, I'm
just going to try to live in one place and
(06:36):
raise the crops here rather than searching for them all day.
I'm going to call it a I'm still working on this,
but I'm going to call it a farm. And nobody
comes back from anywhere or any time to warn you
to save Sarah Connor. And yet here we are, at
some point today Eileen Cannon, who twenty years ago was
(07:00):
writing features for the Miami Spanish language newspaper for El
Nuevo Herald about festivals and yoga and I swear to
God about flamenco dancing. She will make the first of
a series of decisions that will ultimately decide whether we
all live or die. And they're not ultimate decisions or
(07:23):
final decisions, but they are among the ones which will be.
And she could, if not today, then soon literally knock
all the guard rails off the fight against climate change,
because for those of you far more milletant about this
topic than I am. I will not insult you in
say America has led our magnificent worldwide struggle that has
(07:45):
succeeded in slowing down the catastrophe by a couple of weeks. Maybe,
but you and I still both know that if the
critical decisions about saving life on this planet are to
be made in the next five years, and Donald Trump
is president for any stretch of those five years, we're
all dead pinpoint. Whether one hundred and fifty two degrees
(08:06):
waves of climate refugees expected between noon and one pm
and the UV index on a scale of one to
eleven is I'm sorry the power grid failed again. There
was a piece in the New York Times yesterday about
the Trump roadmap towards authoritarianism if he gets a second term,
and most of it is a louder and scarier presentation
(08:29):
of Schedule F, the federalist fascist plan to eliminate career
employees in the government and give the president hiring and
firing power over everybody, like in Iran, where it's already
one hundred and fifty two degrees. And the article was
kind of summarized in one quote from a totalitarian named
Russell T. Vote who ran omb during the defendants regime
(08:54):
and is now dictator of the Center for Renewing America.
And the quote was, what we're trying to do is
identify the pockets of independence and seize them. And you
can see that quote, and then the video in your
mind goes into high speed fast forward, and at some
point in the future, months, years, decades, you get to
(09:14):
there being absolutely nobody in the government, or in the
Congress or in the Supreme Court to even say no
when Trump decides it, no matter what the twenty fifth
Amendment says that because of whatever, because of whatever, he
deserves a third term and he's running for it. Critics,
(09:34):
including a lot on the left, thought that piece in
The Times was overripe and served basically as just thousands
of words of what we used to call institutional advertising
for MAGA and Trump and the Federalist Society, provided free
courtesy of The New York Times. Because while Trump's ability
to enact all this not federalism but feudalism would be
(09:56):
better than it was when he tried it in twenty seventeen,
it would still be held up, delayed, at least by
courts and by bureaucrats, especially by a Democratic Senate or House,
to say nothing of citizen protests. We ever do that again,
like everybody in the Blue States refusing to pay any
more taxes to keep the Red States from going bankrupt
and everybody starving there inside of a month. But other
(10:20):
than a passing reference to the Environmental Protection Agency being
one of those units that would be brought directly under
Trump's control if he can get away with it, there
was not one word in there about the much simpler
path for Donald Trump to destroy America this time around,
and that is to regain the White House and again
roll back as many green initiatives and climate efforts as
(10:42):
he can. I mean, when he can kill us all
by just sitting around on his lard ass for four years,
accepting the cheers of fifty million jason Al dens, just
before they all keel over because they could not stand
the heat. Forty five minutes away from check notes ESPN
World Headquarters. What does Trump aid with schedule f and
(11:05):
system overhauls and Project twenty twenty five, project one hundred
degrees every day in beautiful downtown Bristol, Connecticut. That'll do
the job. I just keep thinking of that, poor dumb
f in the sunglasses, standing next to that digital thermometer
(11:28):
and death Valley and thinking one hundred and thirty one degrees, Well,
thank goodness, I got a shot of it. It'll never
be this hot again. And now I'm starting to wonder
if the dinosaurs stood around taking selfies of that spectacular
light show in the sky when the big meteor hit.
And I find myself wondering also if, at any point
(11:48):
before she settles in for her fifteenth real day as
a judge doing real judge things today, Aileen Cannon will
see the forest in spite of the trees, or wonder
what does happen if Donald Trump gets another chance to
kill all the trees, or if it will even ever
flit across the most distant recesses of her mind for
(12:12):
a fraction of a second, that, my god, I really
could be deciding whether we all live or die. Also
of interest here, like anything else matters after that. And
(12:35):
I haven't even really gotten into the climate refugees thing
yet or the new reports of underground climate change beneath
the cities, because there's too much heat under Chicago and
things may sink or fall over. But I think you
will agree with me about this. I need a laugh
out of that. Maybe you do too, And the Daily
(12:57):
Beasts Confider media newsletter provides said laugh today, as if
I had miss myself. A phone photo snapped in a
place called Becho on restaurant Row on forty sixth Street
here in Manhattan, and it is from last Wednesday. And
what the photo hastily shows could be nothing. It could
(13:21):
be the absolute last thing the twenty twenty four presidential
campaign needs. And what it shows is Chris Christy having
a bottle of sparkling water and maybe sharing a meal
with Chris Licked. Does this restaurant Becho now serve not
(13:43):
just pasta but pace Chris Licked and Chris Christy. Hell,
if anybody could destroy the planet faster than trumpet'd be
those two. And there's also a laugh from January sixth,
if you can believe that woman in a big pink
(14:04):
beret wildly overdressed wanted for January sixth misdemeanors FBI has
been looking for for two years. They tweet out a
photo over guy is in line at a crafts store somewhere.
A friend holds up his phone and shows him the
photo of the woman in the pink beret and the
guy gasps.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
And he says, that's next.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
This is countdown.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
This is countdown with Keith Olberman.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Postscripts to the news, some headlines, some updates, some snarks,
some predictions. Dateline Willington, Delaware, smart Matic suing Fox for
two billion, seven hundred million dollars because it wasn't only
dominion which Fox slandered, has now subpoenaed Steve Bannon and
Mike Flynn to sit for depositions in this lawsuit. CNN
(15:01):
reporting those depositions were scheduled for this week and may
still happened this week. This puts Bannon and Flynn in
tough spots. First, have you ever sat for a deposition?
The nicest one in the history of the planet was
an ordeal. But more importantly, this would ordinarily be where
Bannon and Flynn might try to thumb their noses at
(15:23):
the system. But the entire trump axis they still serve
depends on Fox's defamations of Smartmatic to somehow be proved true,
or maybe more correctly, to not be proved untrue. So
they kind of have to go through with the depositions
and kind of have to defend Fox. They also have
(15:43):
to supply subpoena documents, which in Bannon's case would all
be in crayon, And of course both of them first
have to try to remember what that word truth means.
(16:10):
Thank you, Nancy Faust dateline the good Ship Clarence Thomas's lollipop.
Pro Publica back with even more about America's only Supreme
Court justice who has a for sale sign growing out
of his ass. Turns out that yacht Harlan Crow used
to take his friend Thomas around the world on perfectly legal,
not at all bribes, wreaking of more corruption than a
(16:32):
mountain of rotting fruit cruises for tax purposes. Harlan Crow
has a company that charters his super yacht, and see
it's lost a lot of money because the chartering hasn't
been going so well. So all the money lost is
deductible from Harlan Crowe's other taxes, which is legal except
if you're not really chartering your boat. And the Pro
(16:54):
Publica investigation and Senator Ron Wyden of Oregon say, oh snap,
there's no evidence he's chartering it out. Based on what
information is available, Senator wide and told Republica this has
the look of a textbook Billionaire tax scam, No Kidding
Dateline Your Nearest Joanne Fabric and Crafts store. That is
(17:15):
where an unnamed citizen was standing in line when the
FBI tweeted a photo of a woman suspect still wanted
for January sixth. This happened in the spring. His buddy
in line with him at the fabric store showed him
the FBI tweet on the phone and the photo of
the woman they were looking for, And as the man
recalled the moment to NBC News quote, I stopped dead
(17:39):
in my tracks. I'm like, that's Jenny, his ex girlfriend
who married somebody else. And they both went to January sixth,
him in a parka and a Maga hat and she
in a fetching white jacket with red eyeliner and just
(18:00):
the most darling pink beret that made her look like
at the Plaza or something, and it was visible from space. Naturally,
the X.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Turned her in.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
She turns out to be Jennifer Vargas, now Jennifer Vargas Geller,
and he is Spencer Geller, and he they say, was
one of the first to breach police lines at the
Capitol and he pushed bike racks at cops and they
are apparently living in Asia somewhere with a baby. He
faces a felony, she a couple of misdemeanors. We don't
know what kind of breakup that was with mister Joanne Fabrics.
(18:38):
But if he got crushed, man, has he got enough
revenge to last him? Forty seven lifetimes and dateline Hudson Yards,
New York City. The first week's ratings are in for
the new Caitlin Collins nine PM show on CNN Monday,
last place, Tuesday, last place, Wednesday, last place, Thursday, last place, Friday,
(19:02):
last place. She did, however, get into triple digits in
the advertising demo, so she had more than one hundred
thousand viewers aged twenty five to fifty four on one
of the five nights next still Ahead on Countdown, I
(19:35):
mentioned the arrival of Leonel Messi to take the Goat
Emeritus chair annually provided by Major League Soccer in this
country for the superstar who just hit his expiration date
and came here to wear else but Miami. And whatever
time you mentioned soccer, that means it's soccer breakdown o'clock.
(19:59):
Next first time for the daily roundup of the miss grants,
morons and Dunnan Kruger effect specimens who constitute today's the
worst persons.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
In the world.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Three two one Bron's Megan Kelly, who does the fastest
growing conservative podcast which gets metrics are tough here, but
it looks like she gets about half the audience of
this podcast. Keep up the bad work, Meg. Part of
the failure over there, just like part of her failure
at NBC was that she's just dyspeptic all the time
(20:29):
lines complains, blames sneers. Also, the six tons of makeup
doesn't help. RFK Junior's sister, Carrie condemned her brother's crazy
talk about the vaccine, as did his nephew Joe. Megan Kelly.
She writes, look at these terrible family members. No one
was asking how does RFK Junior's sister feel about his
(20:51):
latest remarks. She just felt the need to kick him
when he was down nice. Obviously, people had been seeking
Carrie Kennedy's response because she is the president of the
Robert F. Kennedy human rights nonprofit advocacy organization, and her
brother is the one who's inadvertently besmirching their late father's
name and their group's name. But Megan Kelly wouldn't know that, because,
(21:16):
in addition to being lazy, and in addition to acting
like she's had gas pain continuously since nineteen ninety seven,
Megan Kelly is also a dope. The runner up Atlanta
Mayor Andre Dickens. You know about Cop City in Atlanta,
the proposed secret fascist police training ground planned there. Opponents
(21:37):
want a referendum. Mayor Dickens last week said no one
in his administration or law enforcement would get in the
way of that constitutional right to have one. Yesterday, the
City of Atlanta filed a motion in federal court I
stopped the referendum, called it invalid and futile. Invalid and futile,
two words which now might also describe Mayor Dickens's chances
(21:59):
of getting re elected. But the winner this vibek Ramaswami guy,
another man who has mistaken his own financial luck for intelligence,
the Republican presidential longshot who is carefully positioned to grab
the nomination if the white Supremacists' first eight choices all
die has revealed his short list of Supreme Court nominees,
(22:21):
and he's got He's got Senators Ted Cruz and Mike
Lee on it, and he also likes a US Appeals
Court judge named Lawrence Vandyke, and Judge van Dyke is
the one who made the profound, historic ruling that has
made life better for hundreds of millions and untold generations
to come. Van Dyke was the one who said, yes,
(22:44):
people running a beauty pageant can exclude participants who are transgender.
Second in importance only to Brown v. Board in Education.
In my opinion, My god, this country wasted taxpayer dollars
on court rulings about beauty pageants. Vivek, Ted Cruz and
(23:06):
Mike Lee for the Supreme Court. Why not Robert F.
Kennedy Junior and Kanye Ramaswami two days? Worst person I
know it's Brown by Board of Education.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
I said it wrong in the world.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
To the number one story on the Countdown and my
favorite topic, me and things I promised not to tell.
You may enjoy this one enough to keep a copy.
Soccer Breakdown. Gary Miller was one of the backbones of
Sports Center. I had worked with him at CNN. He
was strong, confident, very loud, forceful, He hated mascots, and
(23:57):
he had no filter. He and Dan Patrick were great
friends in Atlanta, and then Gary and Dan left for
ESPN within months of each other nineteen eighty nine, nineteen
ninety This has been said of me, and so I
say it of Gary with affection. He suffered no fools gladly,
and though his elbows were always up, he made sure
that ninety nine percent of the time when they bumped
(24:18):
into somebody, that somebody had well deserved it. As near
as I can piece together, Gary was doing the eleven
PM Sports Center on Friday night, June twenty fourth, nineteen
ninety four. Typically, Dan and I did the eleven Sunday
through Thursday. The story of soccer's nineteen ninety four World Cup.
At least in the first week, was a preponderance of
(24:39):
player ejections red cards handed them by the referee. In
those days, the eleven PM Sports Center included a feature
two or three minutes long on a story that had
drummed up a lot of interest during the first show
planning meeting around three point thirty PM. It was a
feature called Breakdown. It provided long form analysis in today's
when we didn't have a lot of that. Could be
(25:00):
a coach getting fired, could be the relative credentials of
baseball Hall of fame. Campates could be one fantastic play
in a game. Once we did a deadpan, serious breakdown
about injuries to mascots. A producer or the anchor himself
would write the script, They would pre record the narration,
and then the producer would edit it. This is pre digital.
(25:21):
It was done tape to tape. It could take hours
to edit it, and the key was to track it
to record that narration, which was done in a tiny
wood paneled room wreaking of mildew that looked and smelled
exactly like every suburban basement wreck room in America circa
October nineteen sixty five. That's where Gary Miller found himself
(25:45):
on the night of Friday, June twenty fourth, nineteen ninety four,
reading a script about soccer players from around the world,
none of whose names he had ever seen before, let
alone tried to pronounce. It was the Soccer Breakdown in
all senses of the word. The raw tape, the original
(26:08):
version of his tracking session for the script for Soccer Breakdown,
is easily the most beloved bootleg in ESPN's history. In fact,
it is so popular that there are several different cuts
of this bootleg. People have sat down with the original tape,
which runs nearly twenty minutes, and edited it down to
only the best or worst parts. Now, I'm not going
(26:31):
to say I have a copy of the original I'm
simply going to note that Dan Patrick ran it on
his radio show in twenty seventeen and posted the whole
segment to YouTube. So yeah, that's where I got my
copy of it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
I'm going to annotate for you what happened, So let
(26:53):
me present this to you in three segments. It did
not start well for Gary, and it got worse from there,
although mister Miller gave it its eternal title and life
by going so blint. On the s for the word soccer,
I'll note only one thing, the acronym of International Soccer's
outfit FIFA Garriott's pronounced FIFA.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Soccer breakdown in three two one, FIFA Soccer's governing party
three two one, piphos Soccer's three two one. The red
card has become the calling card for this year's tournament.
Seven ejections for three two one witness Romania's ian Bladu
(27:40):
against the.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Swiss is or through christ Ah. But that was the
easy part. Now in the script came the names of
the World Cup stars who had been given red card
ejections in the first week of the tournament. One was
the seventeen year old star of the Cameroon team, Rigobert's Song,
(28:01):
often referred to by his full name, Rigobert's Bahanog, or
as it was said in the script, Riggerbird Bahanog song.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Three two one Cameroons, Wriggleberg Vanumnjog three two what Cameroons,
Wriggelberg byangung Zang Zada Da Bayangyang song three two one
Cameroons Wriggelberg Banyang Zong.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Bayuyang song three two one three two one. By the way,
Rigobert's Song is now the manager of the Cameroon team.
He's gone from being the youngest player in the World
Cup history to get a red card to running his
nation's team. I'll interject here that at the start of
this final major clip, Gary Miller says, to somebody who
(29:00):
has currently entered that tracking room that smelled of mildew,
get out of here. Dan Patrick said that was him.
I think he's mistaken. It doesn't matter much, but there
was no reason for Dan to have been there on
a Friday night, especially if we were not doing the show.
And also there has never been a microphone ever, but
Dan has not spoken into anyway. We have already met
(29:23):
Rigobert Bhanog's song. Now meet my guy, the Italian goalie
John Luca Poaliuca two get out of here? Two is
guilted through it?
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Two?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
How long is this? Take? Three? Two?
Speaker 3 (29:42):
One one one Cameron's Wriggleberg Bunyan song, preventing a breakaway
from Brazil's babetto a bah God Almighty, I hate sucker,
Cameron's Wriggleberg Banjungjong song. I'm gonna try that one last
lead time two one Cameroon's Wriggleberg Bunjungjong song, Oh, I
(30:05):
hate this chalcout Bolivia's Luis Cristaldo for both on three
to one, But the most notable red card of the
tournament came an Italian goaltender, Jean Luca Palyuca Pauloca Paul
Yuka the Mother.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Pee three to one.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
But the flurry of red cards thus far has Todd coaches.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
And players alike to control their play if they'd like
to control their fate in this tournament.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Holy Sleep, that is all.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
The pronunciation of Rigovert's song's name is one thing. I
was delighted by how furious Gary got at Gianluca Palyuca
of the Italian team and the expletive he used to
describe him.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Richard may have just heard. In the days that followed.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
In fact, the Italian goalie's name became shorthand for me
for that expletive in question. So for the next three
years on Sports Center and after that on Fox Sports News,
and then on my ESPN two show, and on Football
Night in America, and then when I returned to Sports
Center in twenty eighteen, if you heard me say John
Luca Paluka while we were showing a player making an
(31:14):
error or arguing with an umpire or official, I was
actually implying that the player had just said John Luca Palyuka.
There's another punchline to this story, of course, the idea
to do this soccer breakdown that so bedeviled Gary Miller,
the story of red cards in the first week of
the nineteen ninety four World Cup. The idea to do
(31:36):
that came from Gary Miller, never volunteer. I've never been
convinced that Gary was really happy about his immortality, certainly
not in the way my ESPN pal Steve Levy not
so secretly glorious in the day. He once tried to
say that a New England Patriots player had a bulging disc,
(31:57):
but didn't quite get disc right. But Gary Miller has
been a good sport about this through the end of
his ESPN career in two thousand and four and afterwards
in his days at Channel two and Channel nine in
Los Angeles and most recently at Channel two in Cincinnati.
It isn't hard to understand why this tape is so
famous and the pleasure derived from it so enduring. As
(32:19):
John Clees once said about the real life hotel manager
on whom he based his character from Faulty Towers, he
had this wonderful bad temper. But there are two more things. One,
this occurred exactly a week to the day after the
OJ Simpson car chase, and people forget now just how
disturbing that was in an America, especially sports America like
(32:42):
at ESPN, that with the exception of a few of
us who knew, nobody knew how rotten a human being
OJ Simpson was, so even a week later we all
needed this laugh and Gary gave it to us and
even larger. The essence of soccer in every country in
which it is played is that it always allows, and
(33:05):
encourages and even demands that its fans complain about it.
And so while we cherish Soccer Breakdown and three two
one and Rigobert Mahananng's song and Bibuto and John Luca Paluka,
to me, it is really about five words that anybody
who hates the game will say. But there are also
(33:27):
five words that any fan of the sport will certainly
use at some point in his life, possibly at some
point today. And they are the five words with which
I will leave you for now.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
A Foh God, almighty, I hate soccer.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Since I first told you this story, I have, as
I mentioned, rediscovered an artifact that I thought was gone forever.
Right after the Soccer Breakdown saga unfolded, an ESPN colleague
made me a copy of the original raw tape of
Gary and we put it on a cassette and I
(34:07):
couldn't find it. There were things on it that were
somehow lost from all subsequent copies of Soccer Breakdown. So
this is not as high depth, but I think it's
even more high comedy.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Soccer breakdown in three two one after a nineteen ninety
World Cup marked by physical play in low scores, Piphus
Soccer's three too one after a nineteen ninety World Cup
marked by three two one. After a nineteen ninety World
Cup marked by physical play and low scores, Peiphas Soccer's
(34:45):
governing body sent out a decree for the nineteen ninety
four Cup to be better police the result, the red
card has become the calling card for this year's tournament.
Seven ejections for three two one. After a nineteen ninety
World Cup marked by physical play and low scores, Piphus
soccer governing body sent out the decree for the nineteen
(35:07):
ninety four Cup to be better police the result, the
red card has become the calling card for this year's tournament.
Seven ejections through the first twenty three matches and a
direct message that rough play will not be tolerated and
more teams will be playing a man down if it continues.
The goal more goals and a more palatable sell to
the American public three two one the results just over
(35:32):
two and a half goals of contest compared to two
point two per game at the nineteen ninety Cup in Italy.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Why does the red card come out?
Speaker 3 (35:40):
A Fight For rule book states a player shall be
sent off the field of play and shown the red
card if, in the opinion of the referee he won
is guilty of violent conduct witness Romania's ian Bladu against the.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Swiss is or through christ three two one. Why does
the red card come out?
Speaker 3 (36:00):
The Fight for rule book states the players should be
set off the field of play and shown the red
card if, in the opinion of the referee he won
is guilty of violent conduct witness Romania's ian Bladu against
the Swiss. Two is guilty of serious foul play. Cameroons
Riggleberg vanumnjog Bon and Young song prevented a breakaway from
(36:25):
the betto three to what two is guilty of serious
foul play. Cameroon's Riggelberg bayan gung zang Zada da Bayangyang
song three two one two is guilty of serious foul play.
Cameroon's Rigolberg Banyang zong Bayanyang song three two one two
(36:59):
get out of here two is guilty through two How
long is this tape?
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Two is guilty of serious foul play.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
Cameroon's Rigoberg Bunyang song prevented a breakaway from Brazil's babbetto
a bah God almighty, I hate socker.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Two is guilty of serious foul play.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
Cameroon's Rigoberg Buan yung jung song provided a breakaway from
Brazil's babetto a play both serious and foul, deserving of
a red card. I'm better try that one last time.
Two one two is guilty of serious foul play. Cameroon's
Rigoberg Bun Yung yong song prevented a breakaway from Brazil's
(37:44):
babetto a play both serious and foul and deserving of
a red card.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Three use his foul or abusive language. Can't show you that?
Speaker 3 (37:52):
And four is guilty of a second cautionable I hate
this free use his foul or abusive language. And four
is guilty of a second cautionable offense after having resided
see the caution. Chalcop Bolivia's Luis Cristaldo for both on
three to one. Chalk up Bolivia's Luis Cristaldo for both
(38:13):
on this case, as he receives a yellow card and
then uses a foul or abusive language to draw a
second yellow and be ejected against South Korea. A tone
was set in the first match of the tournament when
Bolivia's Marco Antonio Etcheveri was ejected for this illegal kick
against the Germans, but the most notable red card of
the tournament came an Italian goaltunder Jean Luca Paulucca the
(38:37):
Mother three two one. But the most notable red card
of the tournament came when Italian goaltunder John Luca Pauloca
was ejected against Norway for a handball outside the goal
where the game was still schoolless three two one. But
the most notable red card of the tournament came when
Italian goal tutor John Luca Pauluca was ejected against Norway
(38:58):
for a handball outside the goal area with the game
still schoolless. Down a man a team's first instinct his
defense an injured Roberto Baggio, who is now a liability,
even if he is one of the world's most talented
offensive players.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
The gamble paid off.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
Italy still alive in this year's World Cup, but the
flurry of red cars thus far has taught coaches and
players alike to control their play if they'd.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Like To, and with that we welcome Lionel Messi or
is it Lionel Messiah Babetto. I've done all the damage
(39:48):
I can do here. Thank you for listening. Here are
the credits. Most of the music arrange produced and performed
by Brian Ray and John Phillip Chanel, who are the
Countdown musical directors. Guitars based and drums by Brian Ray,
All orchestration and keyboards by John Phillip Shanel produced by
Tko Brothers. Tooven selections have been arranged and performed by
the group No Horns Allowed. Sports music is the Olberman
(40:10):
theme from ESPN two and it was written by Mitch
Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN Inc. Musical comments by Nancy Fauss.
The best baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was
my friend Kenny Maine. Everything else is pretty much my fault.
Don't forget. Countdown now also available on YouTube for those
of you who prefer a small animated me to accompany
(40:31):
my reading of this script. That's countdown for this the
nine hundred and twenty fourth days since Donald Trump's first
attempted coup against the democratically elected government of the United
States arrest him again while we still can. The next
scheduled countdown is tomorrow bulletins as the news warrants till then,
I'm Keith Olberman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and
(40:53):
good luck. Hey, dude, there's no way you would have
gotten away with that.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
I go. I know. Luckily, I don't snorthole cocaine like
it's not my thing.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
Countdown with Keith Oulderman, a production of iHeartRadio. For more
podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you get your podcasts.
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio Today,
Eileen Mercedes Cannon will begin to decide whether we all
(00:28):
live or die. This sadly is not hyperbole. The federal judge,
who has presided over a total of four trials for
a total of fourteen days in the totality of her life,
will today make the first of a series of decisions
that will ultimately end with whether we all live or die.
(00:49):
The forest really can never be seen because we are
next to the trees. And how fitting the analogy is
because while we are down here taking samples of the
bark to check markings by Jack Smith. The big picture
is this Judgeileen Cannon will at minimum help to decide
whether or not Donald Trump is kept out of the
(01:10):
White House, and that will at minimum help to decide
whether or not we have any chance of maintaining a
president who will lead this nation and thus this world
through climate change and the changes we must make in
response to it. It really is that stark, and I
think we forget about it, and then something snaps the
(01:30):
picture into focus, and in my case it is two pictures.
The first is that one grinning idiot in the black
san Diego shirt and the black shorts and the black
cap and the black sunglasses in Death Valley, California, taking
selfies with a digital thermometer reading one hundred and thirty
one degrees, both as if that heat could not kill
(01:53):
him personally, and as if that one hundred and thirty
one degree temperature was temporary or transient or unique to
that locale or something he has to take a picture
of so he can preserve it for his grandchildren. And know,
by the way, at the present rate of acceleration of
the climate catastrophe, don't worry about preserving it for your grandchildren,
because you're not going to have any nor is anybody else,
(02:15):
because the last words Donald Trump will ever speak on
this earth will be about how money is more important
than anything else, or how climate change is a hoax.
We're both. The other image was of this redneck Jason Aldean,
the pride of Maga New Year's Eve guest at marri Lago,
Trump kissed the top of his wife's head. She posted photos.
(02:37):
Trump is clearly staring down passed her head into her cleavage.
He is the yodeling darling of the climate denial crowd
and dropping a song last Friday, daring black protesters to
quote the title. Try that in a small town, and
then two days later he had to run off the
stage and get two ivs stuck in him so he
(02:59):
did not lose consciousness while singing in the ferocious tropical
heat of Hartford, Connecticut in July at night. But there's
no man made climate change. Try that in a small town, Jason,
after the energy grid there has failed and your governor
(03:21):
has chased away all the hospitals and the doctors because
woke as I stared at the Canadian wildfire smoke out
my window. Yesterday, a baseball announcer on my TV was
complaining about the Canadian wildfire smoke out his window in Cincinnati, Ohio.
It was one hundred and nine degrees in Rome, and
(03:42):
they were laughing about that in Miami, where the first
ever excessive heat warning predicted one hundred and ten degrees,
and they were laughing about that in Sanbao in China,
where it was one hundred and twenty six degrees. And no,
they were not laughing at Persian Gulf Airport, which is
in Iran but is actually closer to Dubai than anywhere else,
and it didn't matter, because it was one hundred and
(04:05):
fifty two one hundred and fifty two degrees at Persian
Golf Airport in Iran. The last actual safe temperature for
the average human is a wet bulb thermometer reading of
ninety five degrees. So if at one hundred and fifty
two the power had failed at Persian Golf Airport, I
(04:26):
mean again energy grid failure. As if this were Texas,
there would have been a mass casualty event. Judge Cannon
is to tell Trump's lawyers and Walton out his lawyers
and Jack Smith's team of lawyers. Some preliminary findings about
the process for handling classified information at the Trump trial,
(04:48):
and all the indications she gave yesterday suggested she would
be adding an item to the agenda, the planned trial
start date and timeline discuss history does not usually schedule
stuff this important in a time advance and tell us
about it. Everybody in Europe was not informed on June fifteenth, Hey,
(05:11):
on the twenty eighth Archduke Ferdinand of Austro Hungary. He's
gonna make this damn fool trip anyway to Sarajevo, and
though the bomb they will throw at him at the
train station is gonna miss The Archduke will still be
too stupid to call off the trip at that point,
and his driver, who doesn't speak German, won't understand the
(05:32):
revised driving rout out of the city, so he'll take
the old one and he'll wind up on Franz Joseph
Street and he'll have to pull a U turn right
in front of where one of the bomb throwers co
conspirators happens to be standing desponded because the plot failed.
So the co conspirator can put bullets into the Archduke
and the arch Duchess and that will start the World
War and twenty million people will die. And because the
peace will resolve nothing, there'll be another World war in
(05:54):
twenty five years, seventy five million more people will die.
So don't make other plans for the twenty eighth that
doesn't happen. We were not forewarned about the day John
Brown decided, yeah, okay, I'm doing this. I'm going to
Harper's Ferry, and nobody in ten sixty six told England
the Normans will be here Wednesday, and the media was
(06:15):
not alerted when Hitler was let out early because they
were convinced he po's no further threat. And nobody pointed
at that one rat scurrying off the ship just anchoring
at Messina and said that's the one bubonic plague right there.
And nobody ever said, hey, my feet hurt. Tomorrow, I'm
just going to try to live in one place and
(06:36):
raise the crops here rather than searching for them all day.
I'm going to call it a I'm still working on this,
but I'm going to call it a farm. And nobody
comes back from anywhere or any time to warn you
to save Sarah Connor. And yet here we are, at
some point today Eileen Cannon, who twenty years ago was
(07:00):
writing features for the Miami Spanish language newspaper for El
Nuevo Herald about festivals and yoga and I swear to
God about flamenco dancing. She will make the first of
a series of decisions that will ultimately decide whether we
all live or die. And they're not ultimate decisions or
(07:23):
final decisions, but they are among the ones which will be.
And she could, if not today, then soon literally knock
all the guard rails off the fight against climate change,
because for those of you far more milletant about this
topic than I am. I will not insult you in
say America has led our magnificent worldwide struggle that has
(07:45):
succeeded in slowing down the catastrophe by a couple of weeks. Maybe,
but you and I still both know that if the
critical decisions about saving life on this planet are to
be made in the next five years, and Donald Trump
is president for any stretch of those five years, we're
all dead pinpoint. Whether one hundred and fifty two degrees
(08:06):
waves of climate refugees expected between noon and one pm
and the UV index on a scale of one to
eleven is I'm sorry the power grid failed again. There
was a piece in the New York Times yesterday about
the Trump roadmap towards authoritarianism if he gets a second term,
and most of it is a louder and scarier presentation
(08:29):
of Schedule F, the federalist fascist plan to eliminate career
employees in the government and give the president hiring and
firing power over everybody, like in Iran, where it's already
one hundred and fifty two degrees. And the article was
kind of summarized in one quote from a totalitarian named
Russell T. Vote who ran omb during the defendants regime
(08:54):
and is now dictator of the Center for Renewing America.
And the quote was, what we're trying to do is
identify the pockets of independence and seize them. And you
can see that quote, and then the video in your
mind goes into high speed fast forward, and at some
point in the future, months, years, decades, you get to
(09:14):
there being absolutely nobody in the government, or in the
Congress or in the Supreme Court to even say no
when Trump decides it, no matter what the twenty fifth
Amendment says that because of whatever, because of whatever, he
deserves a third term and he's running for it. Critics,
(09:34):
including a lot on the left, thought that piece in
The Times was overripe and served basically as just thousands
of words of what we used to call institutional advertising
for MAGA and Trump and the Federalist Society, provided free
courtesy of The New York Times. Because while Trump's ability
to enact all this not federalism but feudalism would be
(09:56):
better than it was when he tried it in twenty seventeen,
it would still be held up, delayed, at least by
courts and by bureaucrats, especially by a Democratic Senate or House,
to say nothing of citizen protests. We ever do that again,
like everybody in the Blue States refusing to pay any
more taxes to keep the Red States from going bankrupt
and everybody starving there inside of a month. But other
(10:20):
than a passing reference to the Environmental Protection Agency being
one of those units that would be brought directly under
Trump's control if he can get away with it, there
was not one word in there about the much simpler
path for Donald Trump to destroy America this time around,
and that is to regain the White House and again
roll back as many green initiatives and climate efforts as
(10:42):
he can. I mean, when he can kill us all
by just sitting around on his lard ass for four years,
accepting the cheers of fifty million jason Al dens, just
before they all keel over because they could not stand
the heat. Forty five minutes away from check notes ESPN
World Headquarters. What does Trump aid with schedule f and
(11:05):
system overhauls and Project twenty twenty five, project one hundred
degrees every day in beautiful downtown Bristol, Connecticut. That'll do
the job. I just keep thinking of that, poor dumb
f in the sunglasses, standing next to that digital thermometer
(11:28):
and death Valley and thinking one hundred and thirty one degrees, Well,
thank goodness, I got a shot of it. It'll never
be this hot again. And now I'm starting to wonder
if the dinosaurs stood around taking selfies of that spectacular
light show in the sky when the big meteor hit.
And I find myself wondering also if, at any point
(11:48):
before she settles in for her fifteenth real day as
a judge doing real judge things today, Aileen Cannon will
see the forest in spite of the trees, or wonder
what does happen if Donald Trump gets another chance to
kill all the trees, or if it will even ever
flit across the most distant recesses of her mind for
(12:12):
a fraction of a second, that, my god, I really
could be deciding whether we all live or die. Also
of interest here, like anything else matters after that. And
(12:35):
I haven't even really gotten into the climate refugees thing
yet or the new reports of underground climate change beneath
the cities, because there's too much heat under Chicago and
things may sink or fall over. But I think you
will agree with me about this. I need a laugh
out of that. Maybe you do too, And the Daily
(12:57):
Beasts Confider media newsletter provides said laugh today, as if
I had miss myself. A phone photo snapped in a
place called Becho on restaurant Row on forty sixth Street
here in Manhattan, and it is from last Wednesday. And
what the photo hastily shows could be nothing. It could
(13:21):
be the absolute last thing the twenty twenty four presidential
campaign needs. And what it shows is Chris Christy having
a bottle of sparkling water and maybe sharing a meal
with Chris Licked. Does this restaurant Becho now serve not
(13:43):
just pasta but pace Chris Licked and Chris Christy. Hell,
if anybody could destroy the planet faster than trumpet'd be
those two. And there's also a laugh from January sixth,
if you can believe that woman in a big pink
(14:04):
beret wildly overdressed wanted for January sixth misdemeanors FBI has
been looking for for two years. They tweet out a
photo over guy is in line at a crafts store somewhere.
A friend holds up his phone and shows him the
photo of the woman in the pink beret and the
guy gasps.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
And he says, that's next.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
This is countdown.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
This is countdown with Keith Olberman.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Postscripts to the news, some headlines, some updates, some snarks,
some predictions. Dateline Willington, Delaware, smart Matic suing Fox for
two billion, seven hundred million dollars because it wasn't only
dominion which Fox slandered, has now subpoenaed Steve Bannon and
Mike Flynn to sit for depositions in this lawsuit. CNN
(15:01):
reporting those depositions were scheduled for this week and may
still happened this week. This puts Bannon and Flynn in
tough spots. First, have you ever sat for a deposition?
The nicest one in the history of the planet was
an ordeal. But more importantly, this would ordinarily be where
Bannon and Flynn might try to thumb their noses at
(15:23):
the system. But the entire trump axis they still serve
depends on Fox's defamations of Smartmatic to somehow be proved true,
or maybe more correctly, to not be proved untrue. So
they kind of have to go through with the depositions
and kind of have to defend Fox. They also have
(15:43):
to supply subpoena documents, which in Bannon's case would all
be in crayon, And of course both of them first
have to try to remember what that word truth means.
(16:10):
Thank you, Nancy Faust dateline the good Ship Clarence Thomas's lollipop.
Pro Publica back with even more about America's only Supreme
Court justice who has a for sale sign growing out
of his ass. Turns out that yacht Harlan Crow used
to take his friend Thomas around the world on perfectly legal,
not at all bribes, wreaking of more corruption than a
(16:32):
mountain of rotting fruit cruises for tax purposes. Harlan Crow
has a company that charters his super yacht, and see
it's lost a lot of money because the chartering hasn't
been going so well. So all the money lost is
deductible from Harlan Crowe's other taxes, which is legal except
if you're not really chartering your boat. And the Pro
(16:54):
Publica investigation and Senator Ron Wyden of Oregon say, oh snap,
there's no evidence he's chartering it out. Based on what
information is available, Senator wide and told Republica this has
the look of a textbook Billionaire tax scam, No Kidding
Dateline Your Nearest Joanne Fabric and Crafts store. That is
(17:15):
where an unnamed citizen was standing in line when the
FBI tweeted a photo of a woman suspect still wanted
for January sixth. This happened in the spring. His buddy
in line with him at the fabric store showed him
the FBI tweet on the phone and the photo of
the woman they were looking for, And as the man
recalled the moment to NBC News quote, I stopped dead
(17:39):
in my tracks. I'm like, that's Jenny, his ex girlfriend
who married somebody else. And they both went to January sixth,
him in a parka and a Maga hat and she
in a fetching white jacket with red eyeliner and just
(18:00):
the most darling pink beret that made her look like
at the Plaza or something, and it was visible from space. Naturally,
the X.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Turned her in.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
She turns out to be Jennifer Vargas, now Jennifer Vargas Geller,
and he is Spencer Geller, and he they say, was
one of the first to breach police lines at the
Capitol and he pushed bike racks at cops and they
are apparently living in Asia somewhere with a baby. He
faces a felony, she a couple of misdemeanors. We don't
know what kind of breakup that was with mister Joanne Fabrics.
(18:38):
But if he got crushed, man, has he got enough
revenge to last him? Forty seven lifetimes and dateline Hudson Yards,
New York City. The first week's ratings are in for
the new Caitlin Collins nine PM show on CNN Monday,
last place, Tuesday, last place, Wednesday, last place, Thursday, last place, Friday,
(19:02):
last place. She did, however, get into triple digits in
the advertising demo, so she had more than one hundred
thousand viewers aged twenty five to fifty four on one
of the five nights next still Ahead on Countdown, I
(19:35):
mentioned the arrival of Leonel Messi to take the Goat
Emeritus chair annually provided by Major League Soccer in this
country for the superstar who just hit his expiration date
and came here to wear else but Miami. And whatever
time you mentioned soccer, that means it's soccer breakdown o'clock.
(19:59):
Next first time for the daily roundup of the miss grants,
morons and Dunnan Kruger effect specimens who constitute today's the
worst persons.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
In the world.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Three two one Bron's Megan Kelly, who does the fastest
growing conservative podcast which gets metrics are tough here, but
it looks like she gets about half the audience of
this podcast. Keep up the bad work, Meg. Part of
the failure over there, just like part of her failure
at NBC was that she's just dyspeptic all the time
(20:29):
lines complains, blames sneers. Also, the six tons of makeup
doesn't help. RFK Junior's sister, Carrie condemned her brother's crazy
talk about the vaccine, as did his nephew Joe. Megan Kelly.
She writes, look at these terrible family members. No one
was asking how does RFK Junior's sister feel about his
(20:51):
latest remarks. She just felt the need to kick him
when he was down nice. Obviously, people had been seeking
Carrie Kennedy's response because she is the president of the
Robert F. Kennedy human rights nonprofit advocacy organization, and her
brother is the one who's inadvertently besmirching their late father's
name and their group's name. But Megan Kelly wouldn't know that, because,
(21:16):
in addition to being lazy, and in addition to acting
like she's had gas pain continuously since nineteen ninety seven,
Megan Kelly is also a dope. The runner up Atlanta
Mayor Andre Dickens. You know about Cop City in Atlanta,
the proposed secret fascist police training ground planned there. Opponents
(21:37):
want a referendum. Mayor Dickens last week said no one
in his administration or law enforcement would get in the
way of that constitutional right to have one. Yesterday, the
City of Atlanta filed a motion in federal court I
stopped the referendum, called it invalid and futile. Invalid and futile,
two words which now might also describe Mayor Dickens's chances
(21:59):
of getting re elected. But the winner this vibek Ramaswami guy,
another man who has mistaken his own financial luck for intelligence,
the Republican presidential longshot who is carefully positioned to grab
the nomination if the white Supremacists' first eight choices all
die has revealed his short list of Supreme Court nominees,
(22:21):
and he's got He's got Senators Ted Cruz and Mike
Lee on it, and he also likes a US Appeals
Court judge named Lawrence Vandyke, and Judge van Dyke is
the one who made the profound, historic ruling that has
made life better for hundreds of millions and untold generations
to come. Van Dyke was the one who said, yes,
(22:44):
people running a beauty pageant can exclude participants who are transgender.
Second in importance only to Brown v. Board in Education.
In my opinion, My god, this country wasted taxpayer dollars
on court rulings about beauty pageants. Vivek, Ted Cruz and
(23:06):
Mike Lee for the Supreme Court. Why not Robert F.
Kennedy Junior and Kanye Ramaswami two days? Worst person I
know it's Brown by Board of Education.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
I said it wrong in the world.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
To the number one story on the Countdown and my
favorite topic, me and things I promised not to tell.
You may enjoy this one enough to keep a copy.
Soccer Breakdown. Gary Miller was one of the backbones of
Sports Center. I had worked with him at CNN. He
was strong, confident, very loud, forceful, He hated mascots, and
(23:57):
he had no filter. He and Dan Patrick were great
friends in Atlanta, and then Gary and Dan left for
ESPN within months of each other nineteen eighty nine, nineteen
ninety This has been said of me, and so I
say it of Gary with affection. He suffered no fools gladly,
and though his elbows were always up, he made sure
that ninety nine percent of the time when they bumped
(24:18):
into somebody, that somebody had well deserved it. As near
as I can piece together, Gary was doing the eleven
PM Sports Center on Friday night, June twenty fourth, nineteen
ninety four. Typically, Dan and I did the eleven Sunday
through Thursday. The story of soccer's nineteen ninety four World Cup.
At least in the first week, was a preponderance of
(24:39):
player ejections red cards handed them by the referee. In
those days, the eleven PM Sports Center included a feature
two or three minutes long on a story that had
drummed up a lot of interest during the first show
planning meeting around three point thirty PM. It was a
feature called Breakdown. It provided long form analysis in today's
when we didn't have a lot of that. Could be
(25:00):
a coach getting fired, could be the relative credentials of
baseball Hall of fame. Campates could be one fantastic play
in a game. Once we did a deadpan, serious breakdown
about injuries to mascots. A producer or the anchor himself
would write the script, They would pre record the narration,
and then the producer would edit it. This is pre digital.
(25:21):
It was done tape to tape. It could take hours
to edit it, and the key was to track it
to record that narration, which was done in a tiny
wood paneled room wreaking of mildew that looked and smelled
exactly like every suburban basement wreck room in America circa
October nineteen sixty five. That's where Gary Miller found himself
(25:45):
on the night of Friday, June twenty fourth, nineteen ninety four,
reading a script about soccer players from around the world,
none of whose names he had ever seen before, let
alone tried to pronounce. It was the Soccer Breakdown in
all senses of the word. The raw tape, the original
(26:08):
version of his tracking session for the script for Soccer Breakdown,
is easily the most beloved bootleg in ESPN's history. In fact,
it is so popular that there are several different cuts
of this bootleg. People have sat down with the original tape,
which runs nearly twenty minutes, and edited it down to
only the best or worst parts. Now, I'm not going
(26:31):
to say I have a copy of the original I'm
simply going to note that Dan Patrick ran it on
his radio show in twenty seventeen and posted the whole
segment to YouTube. So yeah, that's where I got my
copy of it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
I'm going to annotate for you what happened, So let
(26:53):
me present this to you in three segments. It did
not start well for Gary, and it got worse from there,
although mister Miller gave it its eternal title and life
by going so blint. On the s for the word soccer,
I'll note only one thing, the acronym of International Soccer's
outfit FIFA Garriott's pronounced FIFA.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
Soccer breakdown in three two one, FIFA Soccer's governing party
three two one, piphos Soccer's three two one. The red
card has become the calling card for this year's tournament.
Seven ejections for three two one witness Romania's ian Bladu
(27:40):
against the.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Swiss is or through christ Ah. But that was the
easy part. Now in the script came the names of
the World Cup stars who had been given red card
ejections in the first week of the tournament. One was
the seventeen year old star of the Cameroon team, Rigobert's Song,
(28:01):
often referred to by his full name, Rigobert's Bahanog, or
as it was said in the script, Riggerbird Bahanog song.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Three two one Cameroons, Wriggleberg Vanumnjog three two what Cameroons,
Wriggelberg byangung Zang Zada Da Bayangyang song three two one
Cameroons Wriggelberg Banyang Zong.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Bayuyang song three two one three two one. By the way,
Rigobert's Song is now the manager of the Cameroon team.
He's gone from being the youngest player in the World
Cup history to get a red card to running his
nation's team. I'll interject here that at the start of
this final major clip, Gary Miller says, to somebody who
(29:00):
has currently entered that tracking room that smelled of mildew,
get out of here. Dan Patrick said that was him.
I think he's mistaken. It doesn't matter much, but there
was no reason for Dan to have been there on
a Friday night, especially if we were not doing the show.
And also there has never been a microphone ever, but
Dan has not spoken into anyway. We have already met
(29:23):
Rigobert Bhanog's song. Now meet my guy, the Italian goalie
John Luca Poaliuca two get out of here? Two is
guilted through it?
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Two?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
How long is this? Take? Three? Two?
Speaker 3 (29:42):
One one one Cameron's Wriggleberg Bunyan song, preventing a breakaway
from Brazil's babetto a bah God Almighty, I hate sucker,
Cameron's Wriggleberg Banjungjong song. I'm gonna try that one last
lead time two one Cameroon's Wriggleberg Bunjungjong song, Oh, I
(30:05):
hate this chalcout Bolivia's Luis Cristaldo for both on three
to one, But the most notable red card of the
tournament came an Italian goaltender, Jean Luca Palyuca Pauloca Paul
Yuka the Mother.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Pee three to one.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
But the flurry of red cards thus far has Todd coaches.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
And players alike to control their play if they'd like
to control their fate in this tournament.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Holy Sleep, that is all.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
The pronunciation of Rigovert's song's name is one thing. I
was delighted by how furious Gary got at Gianluca Palyuca
of the Italian team and the expletive he used to
describe him.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Richard may have just heard. In the days that followed.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
In fact, the Italian goalie's name became shorthand for me
for that expletive in question. So for the next three
years on Sports Center and after that on Fox Sports News,
and then on my ESPN two show, and on Football
Night in America, and then when I returned to Sports
Center in twenty eighteen, if you heard me say John
Luca Paluka while we were showing a player making an
(31:14):
error or arguing with an umpire or official, I was
actually implying that the player had just said John Luca Palyuka.
There's another punchline to this story, of course, the idea
to do this soccer breakdown that so bedeviled Gary Miller,
the story of red cards in the first week of
the nineteen ninety four World Cup. The idea to do
(31:36):
that came from Gary Miller, never volunteer. I've never been
convinced that Gary was really happy about his immortality, certainly
not in the way my ESPN pal Steve Levy not
so secretly glorious in the day. He once tried to
say that a New England Patriots player had a bulging disc,
(31:57):
but didn't quite get disc right. But Gary Miller has
been a good sport about this through the end of
his ESPN career in two thousand and four and afterwards
in his days at Channel two and Channel nine in
Los Angeles and most recently at Channel two in Cincinnati.
It isn't hard to understand why this tape is so
famous and the pleasure derived from it so enduring. As
(32:19):
John Clees once said about the real life hotel manager
on whom he based his character from Faulty Towers, he
had this wonderful bad temper. But there are two more things. One,
this occurred exactly a week to the day after the
OJ Simpson car chase, and people forget now just how
disturbing that was in an America, especially sports America like
(32:42):
at ESPN, that with the exception of a few of
us who knew, nobody knew how rotten a human being
OJ Simpson was, so even a week later we all
needed this laugh and Gary gave it to us and
even larger. The essence of soccer in every country in
which it is played is that it always allows, and
(33:05):
encourages and even demands that its fans complain about it.
And so while we cherish Soccer Breakdown and three two
one and Rigobert Mahananng's song and Bibuto and John Luca Paluka,
to me, it is really about five words that anybody
who hates the game will say. But there are also
(33:27):
five words that any fan of the sport will certainly
use at some point in his life, possibly at some
point today. And they are the five words with which
I will leave you for now.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
A Foh God, almighty, I hate soccer.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Since I first told you this story, I have, as
I mentioned, rediscovered an artifact that I thought was gone forever.
Right after the Soccer Breakdown saga unfolded, an ESPN colleague
made me a copy of the original raw tape of
Gary and we put it on a cassette and I
(34:07):
couldn't find it. There were things on it that were
somehow lost from all subsequent copies of Soccer Breakdown. So
this is not as high depth, but I think it's
even more high comedy.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Soccer breakdown in three two one after a nineteen ninety
World Cup marked by physical play in low scores, Piphus
Soccer's three too one after a nineteen ninety World Cup
marked by three two one. After a nineteen ninety World
Cup marked by physical play and low scores, Peiphas Soccer's
(34:45):
governing body sent out a decree for the nineteen ninety
four Cup to be better police the result, the red
card has become the calling card for this year's tournament.
Seven ejections for three two one. After a nineteen ninety
World Cup marked by physical play and low scores, Piphus
soccer governing body sent out the decree for the nineteen
(35:07):
ninety four Cup to be better police the result, the
red card has become the calling card for this year's tournament.
Seven ejections through the first twenty three matches and a
direct message that rough play will not be tolerated and
more teams will be playing a man down if it continues.
The goal more goals and a more palatable sell to
the American public three two one the results just over
(35:32):
two and a half goals of contest compared to two
point two per game at the nineteen ninety Cup in Italy.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Why does the red card come out?
Speaker 3 (35:40):
A Fight For rule book states a player shall be
sent off the field of play and shown the red
card if, in the opinion of the referee he won
is guilty of violent conduct witness Romania's ian Bladu against the.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Swiss is or through christ three two one. Why does
the red card come out?
Speaker 3 (36:00):
The Fight for rule book states the players should be
set off the field of play and shown the red
card if, in the opinion of the referee he won
is guilty of violent conduct witness Romania's ian Bladu against
the Swiss. Two is guilty of serious foul play. Cameroons
Riggleberg vanumnjog Bon and Young song prevented a breakaway from
(36:25):
the betto three to what two is guilty of serious
foul play. Cameroon's Riggelberg bayan gung zang Zada da Bayangyang
song three two one two is guilty of serious foul play.
Cameroon's Rigolberg Banyang zong Bayanyang song three two one two
(36:59):
get out of here two is guilty through two How
long is this tape?
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Two is guilty of serious foul play.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
Cameroon's Rigoberg Bunyang song prevented a breakaway from Brazil's babbetto
a bah God almighty, I hate socker.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Two is guilty of serious foul play.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
Cameroon's Rigoberg Buan yung jung song provided a breakaway from
Brazil's babetto a play both serious and foul, deserving of
a red card. I'm better try that one last time.
Two one two is guilty of serious foul play. Cameroon's
Rigoberg Bun Yung yong song prevented a breakaway from Brazil's
(37:44):
babetto a play both serious and foul and deserving of
a red card.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Three use his foul or abusive language. Can't show you that?
Speaker 3 (37:52):
And four is guilty of a second cautionable I hate
this free use his foul or abusive language. And four
is guilty of a second cautionable offense after having resided
see the caution. Chalcop Bolivia's Luis Cristaldo for both on
three to one. Chalk up Bolivia's Luis Cristaldo for both
(38:13):
on this case, as he receives a yellow card and
then uses a foul or abusive language to draw a
second yellow and be ejected against South Korea. A tone
was set in the first match of the tournament when
Bolivia's Marco Antonio Etcheveri was ejected for this illegal kick
against the Germans, but the most notable red card of
the tournament came an Italian goaltunder Jean Luca Paulucca the
(38:37):
Mother three two one. But the most notable red card
of the tournament came when Italian goaltunder John Luca Pauloca
was ejected against Norway for a handball outside the goal
where the game was still schoolless three two one. But
the most notable red card of the tournament came when
Italian goal tutor John Luca Pauluca was ejected against Norway
(38:58):
for a handball outside the goal area with the game
still schoolless. Down a man a team's first instinct his
defense an injured Roberto Baggio, who is now a liability,
even if he is one of the world's most talented
offensive players.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
The gamble paid off.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
Italy still alive in this year's World Cup, but the
flurry of red cars thus far has taught coaches and
players alike to control their play if they'd.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Like To, and with that we welcome Lionel Messi or
is it Lionel Messiah Babetto. I've done all the damage
(39:48):
I can do here. Thank you for listening. Here are
the credits. Most of the music arrange produced and performed
by Brian Ray and John Phillip Chanel, who are the
Countdown musical directors. Guitars based and drums by Brian Ray,
All orchestration and keyboards by John Phillip Shanel produced by
Tko Brothers. Tooven selections have been arranged and performed by
the group No Horns Allowed. Sports music is the Olberman
(40:10):
theme from ESPN two and it was written by Mitch
Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN Inc. Musical comments by Nancy Fauss.
The best baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was
my friend Kenny Maine. Everything else is pretty much my fault.
Don't forget. Countdown now also available on YouTube for those
of you who prefer a small animated me to accompany
(40:31):
my reading of this script. That's countdown for this the
nine hundred and twenty fourth days since Donald Trump's first
attempted coup against the democratically elected government of the United
States arrest him again while we still can. The next
scheduled countdown is tomorrow bulletins as the news warrants till then,
I'm Keith Olberman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and
(40:53):
good luck. Hey, dude, there's no way you would have
gotten away with that.
Speaker 3 (40:58):
I go. I know. Luckily, I don't snorthole cocaine like
it's not my thing.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
Countdown with Keith Oulderman, a production of iHeartRadio. For more
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