October 10, 2022 • 41 mins
EPISODE 50: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: At his Sunday night rally in Mesa, Trump boasted he had boxes of documents at Mar-a-Lago, their contents were all "his." He is all but daring Merrick Garland to arrest him (2:30) Mr. Attorney General: saying "I had a small number of boxes at Mar-a-Lago...guarded by Secret Service...they should give me immediately back everything they took from me, because it's mine" is a CONFESSION (4:06) We now learn he also offered to TRADE the documents for FBI Russia records (6:00) And Friday's conclusion that the FBI was at least ready to search Trump Tower and/or Bedminster was confirmed by Rolling Stone's report that DOJ is asking witnesses if he had documents in those locales (8:30) And while Merrick Garland stalls and hesitates, Trump's minions have dropped the pretense and are joining him on stage to admit they are there to end fair elections (11:00) And his cult's candidate for Governor of Arizona did something last night that was just this side of posing with a ball-gag in her mouth with the word "TRUMP" written on it.
B-Block (13:54) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Boomer, in Los Angeles (15:01) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Small problem in the Kremlin case against the "terrorist" who blew up the Kerch bridge, as Michael Flynn calls US Ally Zelenskyy a "fool," the lead Democrats on the L.A. City Council are going to have to resign, and the bad reviews for Yankee Scented Candles may actually augur a new Covid wave, so get your Bivalent! (20:29) IN SPORTS: Ear today, gone tomorrow: Mets get waxed as Showalter's Musgrove Ritual falls on deaf ears (23:55) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Kanye West (and the Republican Attorney General who defended his antisemitism) try to stave off Tommy Tuberville's racism and Mehmet Oz's Hitler Symbolism for the honors.
C-Block (30:21) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: My friendship with the legendary actress Elizabeth Montgomery (32:00) How it happened because of the founding of ESPN Radio and the unexpected scoop we got on the first weekend (34:25) Leading me to do my impression of my high school classmate Chris Berman as he greeted me on my first day at ESPN (38:44) And the extraordinary life lesson about fans and memory that she taught me and has stayed with me for 30 years.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio.
Last night, Trump confessed he had documents at mari Lago.
(00:29):
Last night, Trump boasted he had documents at Marilago. Last night.
Trump said they should give it all back to him
because it's all his, thus contradicting his other claims that
material was planted. He is openly defying the law. He
is all but daring Merrick Garland to indict him and
arrest him. He is campaigning on breaking the law. He
(00:50):
is campaigning on getting away with breaking the law. He
is campaigning to get people elected who will protect him
from the consequences of breaking the law. He is campaigning
on the Justice Departments on written rule, not to indict
him while there is campaigning. This can wait no longer.
(01:11):
Arrest Trump today, Mr Attorney General. This this is a
god damned confession. I had a small number of boxes
and storage at mar Lago, guarded by Secret Service and
my people and everybody. I mean, it's safe. There is
no crime. You know, there is no crime. It's not
(01:32):
a crime. And they should give me immediately back everything
that they've taken from because it's mine. It's mine. They
took it from me Trump last night at his clan
rally in Mesa, Arizona. For two months now, Trump has
been simultaneously boasting of committing crimes with impunity while stalling
(01:52):
in every way imaginable to prevent being prosecuted. And at
this point his primary accomplice in that is Merrick Garland,
Mr Attorney General, do your job, and Mr President, if
he will not do his job, fire him and put
somebody in there who will. Because every day this goes on,
(02:13):
Trump's sense of untouchability, his supporters sense of untouchability grows,
and it is now growing exponentially. And this is not
merely a question of putting in jail the most dangerous
criminal in the history of this country, the man who
has done more damage to our nation than all the
terrorists put together. This is about the survival of the democracy.
(02:35):
He confesses, he boasts, he defies, he lies, he taunts,
he talks out of both sides of his mouth, and
now we find out he bargains. The New York Times
reporting that when in the National Archives began to demand
the return of its documents, our goddamn documents, Trump told
(02:57):
advisers that he would agree to return the stolen documents,
provided that the National Archives would then give him all
the classified documents pertaining to the FBI investigation of Trump's
two thousand sixteen election interference conspiracy with Russia. And we
as a nation continue to treat this scumbag with kid
gloves because there's an election in a month in which
(03:21):
he's not running, because the real issue here is just
getting the documents back and secured, and prosecution is incidental
because there are institutional reluctances to prosecute a former president,
which translates as if you can prosecute a former president,
you sure as hell can prosecute a former attorney general,
right mark, Because you fear the Republicans will investigate the
(03:45):
Department of Justice, or the Republicans will investigate the White House,
or you fear his supporters will riot if given a
congressional majority, the Republicans will do all that. Anyway, they
have given up trying to govern anymore. Outrage conspiracy theory
and the never fulfilled promise, the imminent bombshell indictment just
(04:07):
around a corner, that's all they are. And remember the
golden rule of real life. Just because you do not
hit the bully, that does not mean the bully will
not hit you. The bully hits you because he is
a bully. And still the Department of Justice investigates and
(04:30):
investigates and investigates. Trump confesses, he boasts, he defies, he lies,
he taught, he bargains, and we investigate. Rolling Stone reported
Friday night something that confirmed my analysis from Friday morning
that the d o J is clearly preparing for a
search of Trump Tower in New York or the Trump
golf course and Discount Cemetery in New Jersey. Whether it
(04:52):
happens or not, they seem to be ready for it,
quoting federal investigators have asked multiple witnesses if they knew
whether Trump had stashed any highly sensitive government documents at
Trump Tower in Manhattan or at his private club in Benminster,
New Jersey. As a person familiar with the matter, and
another source briefed on the situation, rolling Stone continues, the FBI,
(05:14):
according to these sources, had also asked in recent months
whether the ex president had a habit of transporting classified
documents from his Florida estate, Mari Lago to other Trump properties.
The images of the FBI blocking off Fifth Avenue and
swarming through Trump Tower or going to Bedminster and asking, hey,
(05:38):
what you got in that box buried next to the
first t These are delightful images until you remember the
context we seem now to be investigating for the sake
of investigating. The August eighth search of Mari Lago two
months two days ago produced reports of missing documents as
(05:59):
harrowing as Putin or Zelenski or Biden invoking tactical nuclear
weapon use in Ukraine. The sheer volume of materials stolen
was enough to make all of us who have long
known the worst about Trump blanche. That the compromise from
the Department of Justice was to say, just leave these
(06:20):
on three documents to us, and the special Mask can
look at all the other documents, and Trump can have
back and anything else he wants. Spoke to the extraordinary
nature of those one hundred and three documents and what
has happened since Mari Laga was searched under these circumstances.
Trump has fundraised off it. Trump has proclaimed himself the victim,
(06:42):
the violated, the martyred. Off of it. Trump has boasted
off of it. Trump has defied, Trump has lied, Trump
has haunted, Trump has bargained, and Trump has now confessed
and the Department of Justice. It has contemplated, it has
contemplated more searches instead of arresting this creature and frog
(07:03):
marching him out of one of these fascist rallies, because
now Trump is bringing to these fascist rallies the kind
of pure, unadulterated authoritarianism of people like Jim Marchant, fresh
from the conspiracies of q and On, and the Republican
candidate for Secretary of State in Nevada, and the chairman
(07:27):
of a coalition of vermin running for secretary of State
positions around the country whose goal, if elected is to
destroy elections. So emboldened by the last seven years, so
emboldened by the failure to act against Trump in any way,
that at Trump's rally Saturday, this scum merchant didn't even
(07:51):
pretend anymore that what he and the other conspirators were
plotting where anything less than the overthrow of the American
electoral system. Last year, I established a mega America first
coalition of secretary of State candidates around the country. If
we get all of our secretaries of state elected around
(08:13):
the country like this, we take our country back. By
any means, we have the power to act against Trump
and in so doing, to send the marchants and his
fellow travelers and his little bullies scurrying back into the
shadows from which they emerged. And what are we doing
(08:33):
with that power? We are waiting Trump's candidate for governor
of Arizona. This carry Lake not only let them take
a picture of her last night vacuuming the red carpet
in front of Trump's photo op stand, but she let
(08:54):
them tweet it. She could not have more loudly screened
I am a subservient member of a cult if she
had had them tweet out of photo of her with
a ball gag in her mouth. The clock is ticking
on our ability to save this democracy. The time to
(09:15):
act is one year and nine months ago. The second
best time to act is today. Unless you want Trump
to confess. Oh wait right, he just did. Still ahead, uncountdown.
(09:45):
There is a small problem with the passport of the suspect.
The Russians say, blew up their bridge. It's a fake.
I'm gonna need some new members of the Los Angeles
City Council. You will not believe what they said. Do
we really think mement Oz gave his speech standing next
to Hitler's car by accident. That's no boating accident. Sports.
(10:09):
The New York Mets season ends eerily year today and
gone tomorrow, wait til next year. They got waxed. And
thirty years since I met my late friend Elizabeth Montgomery.
What a hoop she was, the practical joke she played
on my parents, and the story of a cherished friendship.
(10:31):
All that is next. This is countdown. This is countdown
with Keith Olberman still ahead. Let's stop with the euphemisms
(10:52):
and called Tommy Tuberville and Kanye West what they truly are. First.
In each edition of Countdown, we feature a dog in
need whom you can help. Every dog has its day.
Great news from New York, see you door. The big
German Shepherd puppy mix who was on the kill list
for Saturday morning was saved, but literally the last minute.
(11:13):
This time it's Boomer in the North Central Shelter in
l A. We don't know if he was surrendered by
his human because he had a bad paw and a
bad front leg, or if he had a bad paw
had a bad front leg because of something that human
did to him. But he's thirteen months old, about seventy
five pounds, he has kennel stress and he may lose
the paw or even the leg. In fact, he may
(11:34):
lose his life. He needs pledges for medical treatment, and
obviously we'll rescue Boomer. Will be the pinned tweet at
my account for dogs in need at tom Jumbo Grumbo.
If you can't pledge, that's okay. Just retweeting that tweet
will help him very much, and thank you very much.
(12:10):
Postscripts to the news, some headlines, some inside, some snark dateline,
the Carriach Bridge, the only link between Crimea and Russia,
the Pride of Vladiman Prutin. That's the one with the
big hole and it so please Rumber emerge left. As
Putin called it an act of terrorism. You started a war, buddy.
This is what happens in wars. The Kremlin has released
what it says is the Ukrainian passport of the person
(12:32):
they claim blew it up. One problem. The passport they
released is a cut and paced job from Wikipedia. It's
literally the sample passport shown on the Wikipedia page titled
Ukrainian Passport. They didn't even change the signature or some
of the identifying numbers. Dateline Kiev. Meanwhile, the Ukrainian government
(12:53):
rushed out a new postage stamp and displayed a giant
poster version of it showing the Kirch Straight Bridge with
two big fireballs at either end of it. Dateline Boca Royale, Flora.
That's where the disgraced former U. S. General Michael Flynn
still lives and from where he presumably made these remarks,
reminding us that he is loyal to the United States. No, no, no,
(13:14):
it's not as much. He's loyal to Russia, to the Kremlin,
to Putin, and bluntly they give him a woody. These
are not shy leaders. These are bold leaders who have
every everything at stake in terms of protecting their country.
So these these fools and I and like I said
(13:35):
about Zelenski and his statement about nuclear war, and people
can go to the various telegram and or my various
social media see it that that is a foolish person.
But what's more, what's more dangerous than that is a
is a dangerous fool. Little projection from Mike at the
end there but a reminder Maga is rooting for Russia,
which reminds us to wonder what happens to Ukraine if
(13:57):
the Republicans and fascists regained the White House, and especially
what happens if they do, and in say March, Russia
attacks Poland. Whose side are we on? Then one other point,
the U. S. Military could recall Mike Fland to active
service and court martial him. And that is damn well overdue. Dateline,
Los Angeles gonna need a new city Council president. In
(14:20):
leaked audio, Democrat Nuri Martinez dismisses the district attorney quote
f that guy, he's with the blacks, she says. She
also called the adopted two year old African American son
of another council member a quote little monkey in Spanish,
and said he deserved to beat down. Fellow council members
Kevin di Leone and lame duck Gil Sadillo and l
(14:41):
A Labor Federation president Ron Herrera do nothing but agree
with her. The apologies and excuses have been issued. They
are insufficient. They all have to resign today. Dateline, Boston.
Can we tell that a new COVID wave is coming
because people are getting whiney when they write Amazon reviews
for scented candles and perfume. Apparently the answer is yes.
(15:04):
North Eastern University put out a study in June indicating
that large numbers of people get COVID infections so minor
that they barely noticed them, but they still screw with
their sense of smell. So reviews that read this candle
has no scent or what's wrong with this week perfume
will increase even slightly in the weeks and even months
(15:25):
ahead of a surge. Why is that relevant? Take a guess.
Go read the reviews on Amazon for Yankee scented candles,
like half of them read I can barely smell this.
Get your bivalent booster. I got mine Friday. Warning, I
think it hurts more than the previous four did. And
if you need more convincing, RHN de Santis is Surgeon
(15:47):
General of Florida, Dr Joseph la Dapo, pushing a study
not peer reviewed. He claims his reason to recommend against
anybody under forty getting the vaccine. La Dapo, de Santis
and Florida have been wrong about everything about COVID for
two and a half years. So take Ladappo's word for
it and go get your bi valant. This is Sports Center, Wait,
(16:25):
check that not anymore. This is countdown with Keith Alberman
in Sports The San Diego Padres beat my New York
Mets six to nothing to win the National League Wild
Card Series two games to one last night. The game
was not as close as the score indicates, or so
(16:46):
I've heard one hit, only one met showing the slightest
sign of life at the start of the bottom of
the sixth inning. With the spin rate for San Diego
pitcher Joe Musgrove running about higher than his average for
the season, Mets manager Bucks show Walter got umpire Alfonso
Marquees to check Musgrove's ears for a foreign substance after
(17:09):
the first inning. Facing Musgrove, Showalter had been seen looking
at some of the baseballs that Mets hitters had faced.
Outfielder Andrew McCutcheon of Milwaukee explained on Twitter, quote, I
guarantee Musgrove has red hot on his ears. Pitchers use
it as a mechanism to stay locked in during games,
but in no way is it's sticky. It was a
(17:33):
lobe blow. Looks like all the Mets found was earwax,
which is pretty much all of us Mets fans found.
Two As the season ends eerily, thank you, Nancy Faust.
(18:07):
Speaking of using red hot, our oldest Chapman, the great
relief picture of years past, used to soak his entire
body in it, so he would sweat constantly, no matter
whether it was warm or cold. And it is six
years since the Yankees traded him to the Chicago Cubs
for four prospects, including glabor trusts, and then Chapman helped
the Cubs to win the World Series, and then he
went back to the Yankees as a free agent for
(18:29):
eight six million over five years. Wednesday, after the regular
season ended, Chapman flew home to Miami and did not
return for the Yankees preplayoff workout Saturday. He was at
best a long shot to make the postseason roster anyway,
since he mailed it in all year and even went
on the injured list once with an infection from a tattoo.
But yesterday the Yankees gave him the bye Felicia, and
(18:51):
while not officially suspending him, they told him just to
stay in Miami. You'll be a free agent again this winter.
But there is an excellent chance's career is over. And
if this is not sports in the year two, I
don't know what is at practice. Grandma on green of
the Golden State Warriors Clock's teammate, Jordan's Pool, hits him
hard enough to make him forget his name and address
(19:11):
the video leaks. The Warriors immediately launched an investigation of Green,
the punch maybe even Pool. No the leak. Green was
not suspended. He apologized and was then allowed to step
away from the team for a few days, and he
had the gall to complain that the video leaked. Doesn't
(19:33):
anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy perils
coming out my friend Elizabeth Montgomery and the life lesson
she taught me of that I think of every day. First,
the daily round up of the misgrants, morons and Dunning
Kruger effect specimens who constitute today's worst persons in the wait,
(19:57):
I got something in my ear. Wait a minute, I
got senting in my ear. Here the bronze. There is
still no good reason for Alabama to be its own
state and could have remained part of Mississippi. Then we
normally have two idiot senators from there instead of four.
Miss Obama would probably still have elected Tommy Tuberville anyway.
(20:19):
He fits even for a college football coach. He was
stupid and corrupt. If you haven't heard this, stand by
a second. This is Tommy Tuberville explaining not only the
Democrats are pro crime, but the Democrats support reparations so
that the people who get reparations, which he identifies as criminals,
(20:40):
so those people will get well, basically the white folks money.
Some people say, well, they're soft on crime. No, they're
not soft on crime. They're pro crime. They won't crime.
They won't crime because they want to take over what
you got. They want to control what you have. They
won't reparation because they think the people that do the
crime are old debt. Most yet they're not old debt.
(21:06):
The most amazing part of Tuberville's textbook in Bred Cracker
KKK Unadulterated Racism. There is most national media headline that
story Tuberville claims Democrats are pro crime, leaving out the
unmistakable meat of his claim that Democrats are trying to
get reparations for the people he says cause crime. Reparations
(21:29):
are supposed to be for African Americans whose ancestors and
whose current lives were afflicted by slavery. The real headline
here is Tuberville says all African Americans are criminals. Call
him what he is this is a white supremacist in
the US Senate and a stupid one. Lebron's Republican fascist
Senate candidate from Pennsylvania, draws memo Oz. Just as he
(21:54):
was starting to get some late momentum in that race,
guess what. He gave a speech at the Lion Auto
Museum in southern California, hosted by Matt Gates's brother in law,
and Oz gave his speech while standing next to Adolph
Hitler's car, the touring car Mercedes Bend's made for Hitler
in ninety nine that Hitler kept at Bractus Garden. Now,
(22:15):
since even mimit Oz is not stupid enough to give
a speech while accidentally standing next to Adolph Hitler's car,
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to conclude that he gave
a speech while deliberately standing next to Adolf Hitler's car.
Harden to believe anybody could top those two idiots. But
our winner is Kanye West. Big week for the Big Guy.
(22:36):
We're a White Lives Matter shirt at a fashion event
claimed Sean Combs was controlled by quote. The Jewish people
that told you to call me was a special guest
on Tucker Carlson Show, apparently so for once, Tucker Carlson
would not be the one on there speaking unintelligible dribble.
West hinted that somebody knew the Uvaldi shooting was going
to happen in advance. Then West took a shot at
(22:58):
Mark Zuckerberg, claiming he had him removed from Instagram. Then
he went back on Twitter, apparently for the first time
in two years. Got a welcome back to Twitter, my
friend from Elon Musk, who has officially staked out the
I am always wrong about everything crown on the site.
And then, as you probably know, West tweeted, and it
sounds worse when it's read aloud, So here goes quote.
I'm a bit sleepy tonight, but when I wake up,
(23:20):
I'm going death Con three on Jewish people, caps on
Jewish people. The funny thing is I actually can't be
anti Semitic because black people are actually jew Also, you
guys have toyed with me and tried to black ball
anyone whoever opposes your agenda. First, it's deaf Con three,
not death Con three, You freaking imbecile. Secondly, Twitter deleted
(23:43):
the tweet and locked his account. Frankly, he needs to
be banned from Twitter outright and permanently. Lastly unexpected collateral damage.
Rather amazingly, Indiana Attorney General Todd Rokita self immolated, tweeting
last night that the left quote have now gone after
Kanye for his new fashion line, is independent thinking and
for having posing thoughts from the norm of Hollywood. I
(24:08):
did not see any politician publicly endorsing anti semitism after
Kanye West was banned from Twitter, But there you are.
I guess the man is talented or he was. I
don't know. I'll defer to whatever you think. It doesn't
really matter, but there's no amount of talent in the
world to can justify permitting him to continue to push
(24:28):
this agenda everywhere anti Semitic, other conspiracy theories hatred and
abuse of African Americans, which if it came from a
white guy would be branded correctly as racism, and his
embarrassing turn as a political prostitute a whore used by
Donald Trump to unsuccessfully, as it proved, siphon off Biden
votes in Kanye West also shows signs of profound mental illness.
(24:52):
But guess what, I don't care anymore. I think the
situation in Our nation is too grave for any of
us to care anymore about Kanye West. He must pay
somebody to look out for them, let them worry about him.
We have to stop thinking in terms of what happens
to people when we stopped them from using their platforms
to foment hatred and vendettas and racism and anti semitism
(25:13):
and conspiracy theories and Trump. We have to end their
professional careers. And if that makes them feel even more martyred,
or more persecuted, or more canceled, so what We're gonna
have to break some eggs Kanye West. We need to
turn him into Hey, whatever happened to Kanye West? Or
was it Cane West? Didn't He used to be a
(25:35):
big thing a couple of years ago. Today's worst person
in the world, to the number one story on the
(25:56):
Countdown and my favorite subject me and things I've promised
not to tell. I have found myself telling her story
three times in the last ten days. I just bought
a new copy of the movie in question, and so
I thought I would tell you the story now. Plus
I find she made her Broadway debut sixty nine years
ago this Thursday. Do you know her name? Elizabeth Montgomery,
(26:20):
one of the most famous actresses of the nineteen sixties
and nineteen seventies, star of the TV series Bewitched, daughter
of a famous actor, Robert Montgomery, and my friend from
early on the morning of January four, nine two until
she died in the spring of nine. Our friendship happened
only because of one thing. My sister had given me
(26:43):
a book about one of our favorite topics, the never
to be solved mystery of Lizzie Borden and the Borden
Family acts murders of eighteen ninety two in Fall River, Massachusetts. Yes,
we're weird. And also the fact that Elizabeth Montgomery had
played Lizzie Borden in a TV movie. So on January fourteenth,
nineteen ninety two, as I sat waiting for our flight
(27:04):
till leave I c JFK Airport in New York for
my then home in Los Angeles. Then I began to
read from my airplane seat my sister's gift from the aisle.
From the last one to board, I hear the voice
of Elizabeth Montgomery saying to me, Keith, you're reading about me.
She was a gas my brief but eternal friendship with
(27:28):
Lizzie Montgomery and the eternal lesson she taught me in
one moment, Please while I first explained what I was
doing on that flight. A month or two earlier, I
had agreed to join ESPN to co host Sports Center
with Dan Patrick, starting in late March. I had just
finished up three financially rewarding but souls sucking years at
Channel two in Los Angeles, and I was going to
(27:50):
go to Hawaii for three months and just live there
until I felt better. On Monday, December, I had literally
just opened my address book to find the number of
a travel agent I knew to make the Hawaii arrangements.
I was reaching for the phone own when the phone rang.
It was my business agent, who had just gotten off
the phone with my new ESPN boss, John Walsh. He
(28:13):
and they were launching a new radio networking five days.
I found this interesting but not particularly relevant. ESPN was
one thing then it was one TV network, no magazine,
no radio, no ESPN the Oho, so this was their
first big move outwards. The radio network would start with
only two seven hour shows on Saturday and Sunday nights,
(28:35):
and Walsh explained to my agent that everything was going
great and they were right on target, and they had
great guests lined up for the first weekend, like Ronald Reagan.
And they only had one tiny problem. They needed three hosts.
And they had two terrific hosts, just terrific hosts, one
Keith worked with named Tony Bruno, and another terrific, just
terrific host from Providence named Chuck Wilson. And they tried
this guy as the third host, and that guy, and
this guy and that guy, and all told, forty different
(28:56):
people had tried out to be host. They had nobody,
nobody to be the third host. Who was any good.
Keith just come here just for the first weekend, just
to get it off the ground. They can go back
to l A and come back here in March takeover sports.
And please, please please get Keith help us, please because
if he Canada, know what on earth we're gonna do it?
Please please please. As I said to my agent, well
all right, I suppose at least way, at least a
(29:19):
ESPN will always think of me as a team player.
So instead of going to Hawaii in January, I go
to Bristol, Connecticut in January, and I go stay at
my folks house outside New York, City, and a friend
I had recommended to help ESPN launch their radio network
(29:39):
offers me a ride up to ESPN for the weekend.
And it's like twenty degrees and we get out of
his car and his parking lot and three spots over
getting out of his car in the parking lot is
Chris Berman, when I went to high school with, and
already in January, when I'm not quite thirty three years old,
I already know Chris for twenty years. And before I
can say hey, he screams, listen, we had a good scene.
(30:04):
Go here, goat if it's up, And I say, good
to see you too, Chris, And I remind myself it's
only till Monday. And I meet the gang, and then
I go to the hotel and the hotel is beige.
The walls are beige, the carpets are beige, the guests
are beige, the food is beige. The only thing that
isn't beige is the six inches of snow that falls overnight,
(30:26):
and I remind myself it's only till Monday. The launch
of the network on Saturday goes well. They have me
interview Ronald Reagan about something in football. The Sunday night
show is going well too, and we're trying to figure
out where the big baseball free agent of that winner,
Danny tarta Bill is going to sign. And we're interviewing
Bobby Valentine was the manager of the Texas Rangers, and
they were one of the teams rumored to be a
(30:47):
likely landing for Tartible, and I asked Valentine, he says, no,
not anymore. They just canceled their trip. I was supposed
to go meet them at the airport tonight. I think
he signed with somebody else. And the alarm bells go
off in my head and I tell the producer, let's
call everybody we know in baseball and put them on
and figure out where Danny Tartibill is going. I have
a source who knows his agent. Let me call him.
We'll go story chasing. So we spent four hours following
(31:10):
the story in real time, and it's great radio, and
we're coming up on the last hour and our guests
have helped us eliminate like thirty teams out of but
we're not sure where Tartable is going still, and the
producer says, if only we had his home phone number,
and I look at the producer and go, oh crap, sorry,
and I grabbed my address book and I explain you.
(31:31):
He was my co host. Tartable was on on some
of our baseball postgame shows in l a. Last I'm sorry,
I forgot I had his number all this time. Hang on,
So I called Danny Tartable and just as our last
hour on Sunday Night is starting, he calls me back
and I say to him, look, we know you've decided.
It's all over baseball. It's gotta be the Phillies, the
(31:52):
Mets of the Yankees. And he's saying, correctly, I can't
tell you, And I said, give me one guess and
just tell me if I'm wrong, and I will call
you a source close to the negotiations, that's all. And
he says okay, And I say, is it a team
that wears pin stripes? And of course the Phillies, the Mets,
and the Yankees all wear pin stripes, so he laughs
and he says yes. And I say, is it the
team I grew up a fan of? And he says,
(32:14):
what team did you grow up a fan of? And
by the way, this phone call is taking place with
me on the floor of the studio in which the
other two hosts are live on the new radio network.
So I whispered a Tartable if I say it's the Yankees,
Am I wrong? And he says, I can't tell you
and starts whispering. But off the record, the press conference
(32:36):
is Wednesday at Yankee Stadium. Is that enough for you,
you bastard? And of course I said no, come on
the show and tell us come on, and he laughs
and says I'll see you Wednesday and hangs up. And
I get up and I sit in the vacant chair
and I can say breaking news. ESPN report now that
the free agent now fielder Danny Tartuble has agreed to
a multi year deal with the New York Yankees. Sources
close to the negotiations say there will be a press
(32:57):
conference Wednesday at Yankee Stadium, and the other hosts are
trying not to crack up because they know I've just
been talking too Tartable from the phone in the same
room with them. Well, this story explodes way more than
it deserved. It's a dull Sunday night. It's still early
enough in the evening that the story makes all the
Monday newspapers, and it's attributed not to ESPN or to
(33:20):
Sports Center, but to the brand new ESPN Radio network
on its second day in business. And it's on the
front page of USA Today and the New York Times.
New ESPN Radio Network makes splash with Tartable scoop the
next morning, and I can't tell you how big a
deal that was back then. So now, instead of going
(33:42):
back to l A on Monday and maybe to Hawaii
on Tuesday, as I had planned, I have to go
to the press conference at Yankee Stadium to say hi
to Tartable on Wednesday and sort of thank him for
the scoop. And on Tuesday, this guy, John Walsh from
ESPN calls me and my agent says, look, we have
to take advantage of this. It's the best possible start
we could have hoped for for the radio network. Keith
has to stay with us for the next three months.
(34:04):
Why doesn't he stay in and do this weekend and
then go back to l A and pack up his apartment,
then come back here the weekend after that, and and
and and I say again to my agent, well, at
least ESPN will always think of me as a team
player if I do this, So I am not in
(34:24):
Hawaii and instead I am on board this flight when
Elizabeth Montgomery walks down the aisle and sees my Lizzie
Boarden book given to me by my sister and says, oh, Keith,
you're reading about me. Hi, I'm Lizzie Montgomery. I'm a
big fan of yours. Is that seat taken? And I say,
the hell if I care, sit down? And the only
time we're not talking for the next six hours is
when we are drinking, I believe, if I remember this correctly,
(34:48):
they had to send up a champagne refueling flight halfway
to l A. And she's a huge sports fan. Her
father was a founder of one of the southern California
horse racing tracks, and she loves the Lakers. And she
thinks she was related to Lizzie Borden. Did I ever
see the European version of her lizz the Boarding film
where they show the white shots where they make it
look like she's nude, And I say, I'm absolutely certain
(35:09):
I have not. And her son and her driver and
her rolls Royce meet us at l a X and
she wants me to see her house, and then her
driver and her rolls Royce will give me a lift home,
and oh, by the way, she's flying back to New
York in a week. Should we become flying buddies. On
that trip, our flight gets canceled and we have to
find a new one. I'm hand carrying a lot of
(35:30):
more more valuable baseball cards, including like five hundred different
from the year nineteen o nine, and she wants to
see them, and she wants me to tell her something
about each player while we drink again. And we land
and she says, how are you getting to your folks house?
And I say, well, I'm going to get a car
here or something, and she said, no, you're not. I'll
give you a lift in my limo going right past
(35:50):
your house. And sure enough we get there. And as
Lizzie Montgomery's limo is taking me to my folks house
at ten o'clock at night, she says, will they still
be up here? Folks want to play a practical joke
on them. So two minutes later I knocked on the
door of my childhood home and my father opens it
instead of seeing me, it's her in the doorway, and
she says, hi, Mr Alderman, I'm Lizzie. I'm a friend
(36:13):
of keys Can he come out and play, and my
dad goes silent for the only time I a in
my life. And now my mother appears, so Lizzie can
pull the same routine on her. Hi, Mrs Alderman, I'm Lizzie,
I'm a friend of keys. Can he come out and play?
And now my mother is silent for the only time
in my life? I might add I thought Lizzie looked fabulous,
(36:35):
and I looked her up in Hallowell's film Guide and
I saw she was forty eight, and I thought, boy,
she looks fabulous for forty eight, And then I realized
my math is wrong. She was fifty eight, and she
was a joy. We talked by phone every couple of
weeks after that, and she died three years later of
colon cancer. But she is with me always, and not
just as the proverbial force of nature. Within minutes of
(36:58):
that day we met, January two, she bestowed upon me
a lesson, an eternal lesson. We were a little late
taking off, and since she had just loudly introduced herself
to me like I didn't know who she was, anybody
on the plane who wasn't sure it was her was
now sure. As we waited to taxi. Every man on
(37:20):
that plane came over and did the same thing. Oh hi,
miss Montgomery, excuse me, and they give me some sort
of nodding acknowledgment, like, hey, how you doing? As they
lean in past me. I was a big fan of
the Witch. I know you must get asked, there's a
million times a day, But is there anything I'm so
sorry to ask? Could you do that little nose twitch
used to do in the show? And she would say,
of course, and then she'd do it in These men
(37:41):
aged all then giggle like schoolboys. After the thirty or
thirty first time this happened, I say to her, Lizzie,
I don't know you, but I like you a lot already,
and your attitude towards your fans and the nose twitch
is wonderful. But I have to tell you, I certainly
(38:02):
hope that was the last of them, because the next
one who comes over, I'm gonna have to strangle him
with my bare hands because I can't take it anymore.
And for the only minutes of all the time I
knew her, Elizabeth Montgomery got very serious and said, oh no, Keith,
that is not the attitude you must have about this
remind me what year did Bewitched go off the air?
(38:24):
I had to guess, and she said, exactly, good, correct,
twenty years ago. And these people have remembered that nose
twitch for twenty years at least Bewitched. Keith is not Hamlet,
it is not Arthur Miller, it is not the Godfather,
but they remembered it. This is why you and I
(38:45):
both do what we do for a living. We have
transcended time with what we do for a living, something artistic,
something creative, no matter how small that we have done,
they have remembered it. People do it with you, I'm sure,
and I'm sure they'll continue to. And what you do
then is you say thank you for remembering, as if
they were the only one who ever remembered, Because that's
(39:08):
why we do this, Because they remembered me from twenty
years ago for a stupid little nose twitch. Duly chastised,
I apologized, and the huge, welcoming, conspiratorial, permanent friendship sexy
smile of Elizabeth Montgomery broke across her face like the sunrise,
(39:32):
and she whispered, either that Keith or they saw Bewitched
on cable last week, which means Lizzie gets another check
next week, and she twitched her nose at me, and
I will always love her. I've done all the damage
(40:02):
I can do here. Help me out. Subscribe to this
podcast or give it five stars, or tell a random
passer by. Most of the music, including our theme from
Beethoven's Ninth, was arranged, produced and performed by Brian Ray
and John Philip Chanelle, who are the Countdown musical directors.
All orchestration and keyboards by John Philip Chanelle, Guitars, bass
and drums by Brian Ray, produced by t Ko Brothers.
(40:24):
Other Beethoven selections have been arranged and performed by the
group No Horns Allowed. The sports music is the Old
Woman theme from ESPN two, and it was written by
Mitch Warren Davis. Appears courtesy b ESPN Inc. Musical comments
by Nancy Faust's the best baseball stadium organist ever. Our
announcer today was John Dean, and everything else is pretty
much my fault. Let's countdown for this the six day
(40:46):
since Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected
government in the United States. Arrest him now while we
still can. A new episode tomorrow till then. I'm Keith
old Woman. Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck.
M h Countdown with Keith Alderman is a production of
(41:12):
I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio,
visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts.
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio.
Last night, Trump confessed he had documents at mari Lago.
(00:29):
Last night, Trump boasted he had documents at Marilago. Last night.
Trump said they should give it all back to him
because it's all his, thus contradicting his other claims that
material was planted. He is openly defying the law. He
is all but daring Merrick Garland to indict him and
arrest him. He is campaigning on breaking the law. He
(00:50):
is campaigning on getting away with breaking the law. He
is campaigning to get people elected who will protect him
from the consequences of breaking the law. He is campaigning
on the Justice Departments on written rule, not to indict
him while there is campaigning. This can wait no longer.
(01:11):
Arrest Trump today, Mr Attorney General. This this is a
god damned confession. I had a small number of boxes
and storage at mar Lago, guarded by Secret Service and
my people and everybody. I mean, it's safe. There is
no crime. You know, there is no crime. It's not
(01:32):
a crime. And they should give me immediately back everything
that they've taken from because it's mine. It's mine. They
took it from me Trump last night at his clan
rally in Mesa, Arizona. For two months now, Trump has
been simultaneously boasting of committing crimes with impunity while stalling
(01:52):
in every way imaginable to prevent being prosecuted. And at
this point his primary accomplice in that is Merrick Garland,
Mr Attorney General, do your job, and Mr President, if
he will not do his job, fire him and put
somebody in there who will. Because every day this goes on,
(02:13):
Trump's sense of untouchability, his supporters sense of untouchability grows,
and it is now growing exponentially. And this is not
merely a question of putting in jail the most dangerous
criminal in the history of this country, the man who
has done more damage to our nation than all the
terrorists put together. This is about the survival of the democracy.
(02:35):
He confesses, he boasts, he defies, he lies, he taunts,
he talks out of both sides of his mouth, and
now we find out he bargains. The New York Times
reporting that when in the National Archives began to demand
the return of its documents, our goddamn documents, Trump told
(02:57):
advisers that he would agree to return the stolen documents,
provided that the National Archives would then give him all
the classified documents pertaining to the FBI investigation of Trump's
two thousand sixteen election interference conspiracy with Russia. And we
as a nation continue to treat this scumbag with kid
gloves because there's an election in a month in which
(03:21):
he's not running, because the real issue here is just
getting the documents back and secured, and prosecution is incidental
because there are institutional reluctances to prosecute a former president,
which translates as if you can prosecute a former president,
you sure as hell can prosecute a former attorney general,
right mark, Because you fear the Republicans will investigate the
(03:45):
Department of Justice, or the Republicans will investigate the White House,
or you fear his supporters will riot if given a
congressional majority, the Republicans will do all that. Anyway, they
have given up trying to govern anymore. Outrage conspiracy theory
and the never fulfilled promise, the imminent bombshell indictment just
(04:07):
around a corner, that's all they are. And remember the
golden rule of real life. Just because you do not
hit the bully, that does not mean the bully will
not hit you. The bully hits you because he is
a bully. And still the Department of Justice investigates and
(04:30):
investigates and investigates. Trump confesses, he boasts, he defies, he lies,
he taught, he bargains, and we investigate. Rolling Stone reported
Friday night something that confirmed my analysis from Friday morning
that the d o J is clearly preparing for a
search of Trump Tower in New York or the Trump
golf course and Discount Cemetery in New Jersey. Whether it
(04:52):
happens or not, they seem to be ready for it,
quoting federal investigators have asked multiple witnesses if they knew
whether Trump had stashed any highly sensitive government documents at
Trump Tower in Manhattan or at his private club in Benminster,
New Jersey. As a person familiar with the matter, and
another source briefed on the situation, rolling Stone continues, the FBI,
(05:14):
according to these sources, had also asked in recent months
whether the ex president had a habit of transporting classified
documents from his Florida estate, Mari Lago to other Trump properties.
The images of the FBI blocking off Fifth Avenue and
swarming through Trump Tower or going to Bedminster and asking, hey,
(05:38):
what you got in that box buried next to the
first t These are delightful images until you remember the
context we seem now to be investigating for the sake
of investigating. The August eighth search of Mari Lago two
months two days ago produced reports of missing documents as
(05:59):
harrowing as Putin or Zelenski or Biden invoking tactical nuclear
weapon use in Ukraine. The sheer volume of materials stolen
was enough to make all of us who have long
known the worst about Trump blanche. That the compromise from
the Department of Justice was to say, just leave these
(06:20):
on three documents to us, and the special Mask can
look at all the other documents, and Trump can have
back and anything else he wants. Spoke to the extraordinary
nature of those one hundred and three documents and what
has happened since Mari Laga was searched under these circumstances.
Trump has fundraised off it. Trump has proclaimed himself the victim,
(06:42):
the violated, the martyred. Off of it. Trump has boasted
off of it. Trump has defied, Trump has lied, Trump
has haunted, Trump has bargained, and Trump has now confessed
and the Department of Justice. It has contemplated, it has
contemplated more searches instead of arresting this creature and frog
(07:03):
marching him out of one of these fascist rallies, because
now Trump is bringing to these fascist rallies the kind
of pure, unadulterated authoritarianism of people like Jim Marchant, fresh
from the conspiracies of q and On, and the Republican
candidate for Secretary of State in Nevada, and the chairman
(07:27):
of a coalition of vermin running for secretary of State
positions around the country whose goal, if elected is to
destroy elections. So emboldened by the last seven years, so
emboldened by the failure to act against Trump in any way,
that at Trump's rally Saturday, this scum merchant didn't even
(07:51):
pretend anymore that what he and the other conspirators were
plotting where anything less than the overthrow of the American
electoral system. Last year, I established a mega America first
coalition of secretary of State candidates around the country. If
we get all of our secretaries of state elected around
(08:13):
the country like this, we take our country back. By
any means, we have the power to act against Trump
and in so doing, to send the marchants and his
fellow travelers and his little bullies scurrying back into the
shadows from which they emerged. And what are we doing
(08:33):
with that power? We are waiting Trump's candidate for governor
of Arizona. This carry Lake not only let them take
a picture of her last night vacuuming the red carpet
in front of Trump's photo op stand, but she let
(08:54):
them tweet it. She could not have more loudly screened
I am a subservient member of a cult if she
had had them tweet out of photo of her with
a ball gag in her mouth. The clock is ticking
on our ability to save this democracy. The time to
(09:15):
act is one year and nine months ago. The second
best time to act is today. Unless you want Trump
to confess. Oh wait right, he just did. Still ahead, uncountdown.
(09:45):
There is a small problem with the passport of the suspect.
The Russians say, blew up their bridge. It's a fake.
I'm gonna need some new members of the Los Angeles
City Council. You will not believe what they said. Do
we really think mement Oz gave his speech standing next
to Hitler's car by accident. That's no boating accident. Sports.
(10:09):
The New York Mets season ends eerily year today and
gone tomorrow, wait til next year. They got waxed. And
thirty years since I met my late friend Elizabeth Montgomery.
What a hoop she was, the practical joke she played
on my parents, and the story of a cherished friendship.
(10:31):
All that is next. This is countdown. This is countdown
with Keith Olberman still ahead. Let's stop with the euphemisms
(10:52):
and called Tommy Tuberville and Kanye West what they truly are. First.
In each edition of Countdown, we feature a dog in
need whom you can help. Every dog has its day.
Great news from New York, see you door. The big
German Shepherd puppy mix who was on the kill list
for Saturday morning was saved, but literally the last minute.
(11:13):
This time it's Boomer in the North Central Shelter in
l A. We don't know if he was surrendered by
his human because he had a bad paw and a
bad front leg, or if he had a bad paw
had a bad front leg because of something that human
did to him. But he's thirteen months old, about seventy
five pounds, he has kennel stress and he may lose
the paw or even the leg. In fact, he may
(11:34):
lose his life. He needs pledges for medical treatment, and
obviously we'll rescue Boomer. Will be the pinned tweet at
my account for dogs in need at tom Jumbo Grumbo.
If you can't pledge, that's okay. Just retweeting that tweet
will help him very much, and thank you very much.
(12:10):
Postscripts to the news, some headlines, some inside, some snark dateline,
the Carriach Bridge, the only link between Crimea and Russia,
the Pride of Vladiman Prutin. That's the one with the
big hole and it so please Rumber emerge left. As
Putin called it an act of terrorism. You started a war, buddy.
This is what happens in wars. The Kremlin has released
what it says is the Ukrainian passport of the person
(12:32):
they claim blew it up. One problem. The passport they
released is a cut and paced job from Wikipedia. It's
literally the sample passport shown on the Wikipedia page titled
Ukrainian Passport. They didn't even change the signature or some
of the identifying numbers. Dateline Kiev. Meanwhile, the Ukrainian government
(12:53):
rushed out a new postage stamp and displayed a giant
poster version of it showing the Kirch Straight Bridge with
two big fireballs at either end of it. Dateline Boca Royale, Flora.
That's where the disgraced former U. S. General Michael Flynn
still lives and from where he presumably made these remarks,
reminding us that he is loyal to the United States. No, no, no,
(13:14):
it's not as much. He's loyal to Russia, to the Kremlin,
to Putin, and bluntly they give him a woody. These
are not shy leaders. These are bold leaders who have
every everything at stake in terms of protecting their country.
So these these fools and I and like I said
(13:35):
about Zelenski and his statement about nuclear war, and people
can go to the various telegram and or my various
social media see it that that is a foolish person.
But what's more, what's more dangerous than that is a
is a dangerous fool. Little projection from Mike at the
end there but a reminder Maga is rooting for Russia,
which reminds us to wonder what happens to Ukraine if
(13:57):
the Republicans and fascists regained the White House, and especially
what happens if they do, and in say March, Russia
attacks Poland. Whose side are we on? Then one other point,
the U. S. Military could recall Mike Fland to active
service and court martial him. And that is damn well overdue. Dateline,
Los Angeles gonna need a new city Council president. In
(14:20):
leaked audio, Democrat Nuri Martinez dismisses the district attorney quote
f that guy, he's with the blacks, she says. She
also called the adopted two year old African American son
of another council member a quote little monkey in Spanish,
and said he deserved to beat down. Fellow council members
Kevin di Leone and lame duck Gil Sadillo and l
(14:41):
A Labor Federation president Ron Herrera do nothing but agree
with her. The apologies and excuses have been issued. They
are insufficient. They all have to resign today. Dateline, Boston.
Can we tell that a new COVID wave is coming
because people are getting whiney when they write Amazon reviews
for scented candles and perfume. Apparently the answer is yes.
(15:04):
North Eastern University put out a study in June indicating
that large numbers of people get COVID infections so minor
that they barely noticed them, but they still screw with
their sense of smell. So reviews that read this candle
has no scent or what's wrong with this week perfume
will increase even slightly in the weeks and even months
(15:25):
ahead of a surge. Why is that relevant? Take a guess.
Go read the reviews on Amazon for Yankee scented candles,
like half of them read I can barely smell this.
Get your bivalent booster. I got mine Friday. Warning, I
think it hurts more than the previous four did. And
if you need more convincing, RHN de Santis is Surgeon
(15:47):
General of Florida, Dr Joseph la Dapo, pushing a study
not peer reviewed. He claims his reason to recommend against
anybody under forty getting the vaccine. La Dapo, de Santis
and Florida have been wrong about everything about COVID for
two and a half years. So take Ladappo's word for
it and go get your bi valant. This is Sports Center, Wait,
(16:25):
check that not anymore. This is countdown with Keith Alberman
in Sports The San Diego Padres beat my New York
Mets six to nothing to win the National League Wild
Card Series two games to one last night. The game
was not as close as the score indicates, or so
(16:46):
I've heard one hit, only one met showing the slightest
sign of life at the start of the bottom of
the sixth inning. With the spin rate for San Diego
pitcher Joe Musgrove running about higher than his average for
the season, Mets manager Bucks show Walter got umpire Alfonso
Marquees to check Musgrove's ears for a foreign substance after
(17:09):
the first inning. Facing Musgrove, Showalter had been seen looking
at some of the baseballs that Mets hitters had faced.
Outfielder Andrew McCutcheon of Milwaukee explained on Twitter, quote, I
guarantee Musgrove has red hot on his ears. Pitchers use
it as a mechanism to stay locked in during games,
but in no way is it's sticky. It was a
(17:33):
lobe blow. Looks like all the Mets found was earwax,
which is pretty much all of us Mets fans found.
Two As the season ends eerily, thank you, Nancy Faust.
(18:07):
Speaking of using red hot, our oldest Chapman, the great
relief picture of years past, used to soak his entire
body in it, so he would sweat constantly, no matter
whether it was warm or cold. And it is six
years since the Yankees traded him to the Chicago Cubs
for four prospects, including glabor trusts, and then Chapman helped
the Cubs to win the World Series, and then he
went back to the Yankees as a free agent for
(18:29):
eight six million over five years. Wednesday, after the regular
season ended, Chapman flew home to Miami and did not
return for the Yankees preplayoff workout Saturday. He was at
best a long shot to make the postseason roster anyway,
since he mailed it in all year and even went
on the injured list once with an infection from a tattoo.
But yesterday the Yankees gave him the bye Felicia, and
(18:51):
while not officially suspending him, they told him just to
stay in Miami. You'll be a free agent again this winter.
But there is an excellent chance's career is over. And
if this is not sports in the year two, I
don't know what is at practice. Grandma on green of
the Golden State Warriors Clock's teammate, Jordan's Pool, hits him
hard enough to make him forget his name and address
(19:11):
the video leaks. The Warriors immediately launched an investigation of Green,
the punch maybe even Pool. No the leak. Green was
not suspended. He apologized and was then allowed to step
away from the team for a few days, and he
had the gall to complain that the video leaked. Doesn't
(19:33):
anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy perils
coming out my friend Elizabeth Montgomery and the life lesson
she taught me of that I think of every day. First,
the daily round up of the misgrants, morons and Dunning
Kruger effect specimens who constitute today's worst persons in the wait,
(19:57):
I got something in my ear. Wait a minute, I
got senting in my ear. Here the bronze. There is
still no good reason for Alabama to be its own
state and could have remained part of Mississippi. Then we
normally have two idiot senators from there instead of four.
Miss Obama would probably still have elected Tommy Tuberville anyway.
(20:19):
He fits even for a college football coach. He was
stupid and corrupt. If you haven't heard this, stand by
a second. This is Tommy Tuberville explaining not only the
Democrats are pro crime, but the Democrats support reparations so
that the people who get reparations, which he identifies as criminals,
(20:40):
so those people will get well, basically the white folks money.
Some people say, well, they're soft on crime. No, they're
not soft on crime. They're pro crime. They won't crime.
They won't crime because they want to take over what
you got. They want to control what you have. They
won't reparation because they think the people that do the
crime are old debt. Most yet they're not old debt.
(21:06):
The most amazing part of Tuberville's textbook in Bred Cracker
KKK Unadulterated Racism. There is most national media headline that
story Tuberville claims Democrats are pro crime, leaving out the
unmistakable meat of his claim that Democrats are trying to
get reparations for the people he says cause crime. Reparations
(21:29):
are supposed to be for African Americans whose ancestors and
whose current lives were afflicted by slavery. The real headline
here is Tuberville says all African Americans are criminals. Call
him what he is this is a white supremacist in
the US Senate and a stupid one. Lebron's Republican fascist
Senate candidate from Pennsylvania, draws memo Oz. Just as he
(21:54):
was starting to get some late momentum in that race,
guess what. He gave a speech at the Lion Auto
Museum in southern California, hosted by Matt Gates's brother in law,
and Oz gave his speech while standing next to Adolph
Hitler's car, the touring car Mercedes Bend's made for Hitler
in ninety nine that Hitler kept at Bractus Garden. Now,
(22:15):
since even mimit Oz is not stupid enough to give
a speech while accidentally standing next to Adolph Hitler's car,
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to conclude that he gave
a speech while deliberately standing next to Adolf Hitler's car.
Harden to believe anybody could top those two idiots. But
our winner is Kanye West. Big week for the Big Guy.
(22:36):
We're a White Lives Matter shirt at a fashion event
claimed Sean Combs was controlled by quote. The Jewish people
that told you to call me was a special guest
on Tucker Carlson Show, apparently so for once, Tucker Carlson
would not be the one on there speaking unintelligible dribble.
West hinted that somebody knew the Uvaldi shooting was going
to happen in advance. Then West took a shot at
(22:58):
Mark Zuckerberg, claiming he had him removed from Instagram. Then
he went back on Twitter, apparently for the first time
in two years. Got a welcome back to Twitter, my
friend from Elon Musk, who has officially staked out the
I am always wrong about everything crown on the site.
And then, as you probably know, West tweeted, and it
sounds worse when it's read aloud, So here goes quote.
I'm a bit sleepy tonight, but when I wake up,
(23:20):
I'm going death Con three on Jewish people, caps on
Jewish people. The funny thing is I actually can't be
anti Semitic because black people are actually jew Also, you
guys have toyed with me and tried to black ball
anyone whoever opposes your agenda. First, it's deaf Con three,
not death Con three, You freaking imbecile. Secondly, Twitter deleted
(23:43):
the tweet and locked his account. Frankly, he needs to
be banned from Twitter outright and permanently. Lastly unexpected collateral damage.
Rather amazingly, Indiana Attorney General Todd Rokita self immolated, tweeting
last night that the left quote have now gone after
Kanye for his new fashion line, is independent thinking and
for having posing thoughts from the norm of Hollywood. I
(24:08):
did not see any politician publicly endorsing anti semitism after
Kanye West was banned from Twitter, But there you are.
I guess the man is talented or he was. I
don't know. I'll defer to whatever you think. It doesn't
really matter, but there's no amount of talent in the
world to can justify permitting him to continue to push
(24:28):
this agenda everywhere anti Semitic, other conspiracy theories hatred and
abuse of African Americans, which if it came from a
white guy would be branded correctly as racism, and his
embarrassing turn as a political prostitute a whore used by
Donald Trump to unsuccessfully, as it proved, siphon off Biden
votes in Kanye West also shows signs of profound mental illness.
(24:52):
But guess what, I don't care anymore. I think the
situation in Our nation is too grave for any of
us to care anymore about Kanye West. He must pay
somebody to look out for them, let them worry about him.
We have to stop thinking in terms of what happens
to people when we stopped them from using their platforms
to foment hatred and vendettas and racism and anti semitism
(25:13):
and conspiracy theories and Trump. We have to end their
professional careers. And if that makes them feel even more martyred,
or more persecuted, or more canceled, so what We're gonna
have to break some eggs Kanye West. We need to
turn him into Hey, whatever happened to Kanye West? Or
was it Cane West? Didn't He used to be a
(25:35):
big thing a couple of years ago. Today's worst person
in the world, to the number one story on the
(25:56):
Countdown and my favorite subject me and things I've promised
not to tell. I have found myself telling her story
three times in the last ten days. I just bought
a new copy of the movie in question, and so
I thought I would tell you the story now. Plus
I find she made her Broadway debut sixty nine years
ago this Thursday. Do you know her name? Elizabeth Montgomery,
(26:20):
one of the most famous actresses of the nineteen sixties
and nineteen seventies, star of the TV series Bewitched, daughter
of a famous actor, Robert Montgomery, and my friend from
early on the morning of January four, nine two until
she died in the spring of nine. Our friendship happened
only because of one thing. My sister had given me
(26:43):
a book about one of our favorite topics, the never
to be solved mystery of Lizzie Borden and the Borden
Family acts murders of eighteen ninety two in Fall River, Massachusetts. Yes,
we're weird. And also the fact that Elizabeth Montgomery had
played Lizzie Borden in a TV movie. So on January fourteenth,
nineteen ninety two, as I sat waiting for our flight
(27:04):
till leave I c JFK Airport in New York for
my then home in Los Angeles. Then I began to
read from my airplane seat my sister's gift from the aisle.
From the last one to board, I hear the voice
of Elizabeth Montgomery saying to me, Keith, you're reading about me.
She was a gas my brief but eternal friendship with
(27:28):
Lizzie Montgomery and the eternal lesson she taught me in
one moment, Please while I first explained what I was
doing on that flight. A month or two earlier, I
had agreed to join ESPN to co host Sports Center
with Dan Patrick, starting in late March. I had just
finished up three financially rewarding but souls sucking years at
Channel two in Los Angeles, and I was going to
(27:50):
go to Hawaii for three months and just live there
until I felt better. On Monday, December, I had literally
just opened my address book to find the number of
a travel agent I knew to make the Hawaii arrangements.
I was reaching for the phone own when the phone rang.
It was my business agent, who had just gotten off
the phone with my new ESPN boss, John Walsh. He
(28:13):
and they were launching a new radio networking five days.
I found this interesting but not particularly relevant. ESPN was
one thing then it was one TV network, no magazine,
no radio, no ESPN the Oho, so this was their
first big move outwards. The radio network would start with
only two seven hour shows on Saturday and Sunday nights,
(28:35):
and Walsh explained to my agent that everything was going
great and they were right on target, and they had
great guests lined up for the first weekend, like Ronald Reagan.
And they only had one tiny problem. They needed three hosts.
And they had two terrific hosts, just terrific hosts, one
Keith worked with named Tony Bruno, and another terrific, just
terrific host from Providence named Chuck Wilson. And they tried
this guy as the third host, and that guy, and
this guy and that guy, and all told, forty different
(28:56):
people had tried out to be host. They had nobody,
nobody to be the third host. Who was any good.
Keith just come here just for the first weekend, just
to get it off the ground. They can go back
to l A and come back here in March takeover sports.
And please, please please get Keith help us, please because
if he Canada, know what on earth we're gonna do it?
Please please please. As I said to my agent, well
all right, I suppose at least way, at least a
(29:19):
ESPN will always think of me as a team player.
So instead of going to Hawaii in January, I go
to Bristol, Connecticut in January, and I go stay at
my folks house outside New York, City, and a friend
I had recommended to help ESPN launch their radio network
(29:39):
offers me a ride up to ESPN for the weekend.
And it's like twenty degrees and we get out of
his car and his parking lot and three spots over
getting out of his car in the parking lot is
Chris Berman, when I went to high school with, and
already in January, when I'm not quite thirty three years old,
I already know Chris for twenty years. And before I
can say hey, he screams, listen, we had a good scene.
(30:04):
Go here, goat if it's up, And I say, good
to see you too, Chris, And I remind myself it's
only till Monday. And I meet the gang, and then
I go to the hotel and the hotel is beige.
The walls are beige, the carpets are beige, the guests
are beige, the food is beige. The only thing that
isn't beige is the six inches of snow that falls overnight,
(30:26):
and I remind myself it's only till Monday. The launch
of the network on Saturday goes well. They have me
interview Ronald Reagan about something in football. The Sunday night
show is going well too, and we're trying to figure
out where the big baseball free agent of that winner,
Danny tarta Bill is going to sign. And we're interviewing
Bobby Valentine was the manager of the Texas Rangers, and
they were one of the teams rumored to be a
(30:47):
likely landing for Tartible, and I asked Valentine, he says, no,
not anymore. They just canceled their trip. I was supposed
to go meet them at the airport tonight. I think
he signed with somebody else. And the alarm bells go
off in my head and I tell the producer, let's
call everybody we know in baseball and put them on
and figure out where Danny Tartibill is going. I have
a source who knows his agent. Let me call him.
We'll go story chasing. So we spent four hours following
(31:10):
the story in real time, and it's great radio, and
we're coming up on the last hour and our guests
have helped us eliminate like thirty teams out of but
we're not sure where Tartable is going still, and the
producer says, if only we had his home phone number,
and I look at the producer and go, oh crap, sorry,
and I grabbed my address book and I explain you.
(31:31):
He was my co host. Tartable was on on some
of our baseball postgame shows in l a. Last I'm sorry,
I forgot I had his number all this time. Hang on,
So I called Danny Tartable and just as our last
hour on Sunday Night is starting, he calls me back
and I say to him, look, we know you've decided.
It's all over baseball. It's gotta be the Phillies, the
(31:52):
Mets of the Yankees. And he's saying, correctly, I can't
tell you, And I said, give me one guess and
just tell me if I'm wrong, and I will call
you a source close to the negotiations, that's all. And
he says okay, And I say, is it a team
that wears pin stripes? And of course the Phillies, the Mets,
and the Yankees all wear pin stripes, so he laughs
and he says yes. And I say, is it the
team I grew up a fan of? And he says,
(32:14):
what team did you grow up a fan of? And
by the way, this phone call is taking place with
me on the floor of the studio in which the
other two hosts are live on the new radio network.
So I whispered a Tartable if I say it's the Yankees,
Am I wrong? And he says, I can't tell you
and starts whispering. But off the record, the press conference
(32:36):
is Wednesday at Yankee Stadium. Is that enough for you,
you bastard? And of course I said no, come on
the show and tell us come on, and he laughs
and says I'll see you Wednesday and hangs up. And
I get up and I sit in the vacant chair
and I can say breaking news. ESPN report now that
the free agent now fielder Danny Tartuble has agreed to
a multi year deal with the New York Yankees. Sources
close to the negotiations say there will be a press
(32:57):
conference Wednesday at Yankee Stadium, and the other hosts are
trying not to crack up because they know I've just
been talking too Tartable from the phone in the same
room with them. Well, this story explodes way more than
it deserved. It's a dull Sunday night. It's still early
enough in the evening that the story makes all the
Monday newspapers, and it's attributed not to ESPN or to
(33:20):
Sports Center, but to the brand new ESPN Radio network
on its second day in business. And it's on the
front page of USA Today and the New York Times.
New ESPN Radio Network makes splash with Tartable scoop the
next morning, and I can't tell you how big a
deal that was back then. So now, instead of going
(33:42):
back to l A on Monday and maybe to Hawaii
on Tuesday, as I had planned, I have to go
to the press conference at Yankee Stadium to say hi
to Tartable on Wednesday and sort of thank him for
the scoop. And on Tuesday, this guy, John Walsh from
ESPN calls me and my agent says, look, we have
to take advantage of this. It's the best possible start
we could have hoped for for the radio network. Keith
has to stay with us for the next three months.
(34:04):
Why doesn't he stay in and do this weekend and
then go back to l A and pack up his apartment,
then come back here the weekend after that, and and
and and I say again to my agent, well, at
least ESPN will always think of me as a team
player if I do this, So I am not in
(34:24):
Hawaii and instead I am on board this flight when
Elizabeth Montgomery walks down the aisle and sees my Lizzie
Boarden book given to me by my sister and says, oh, Keith,
you're reading about me. Hi, I'm Lizzie Montgomery. I'm a
big fan of yours. Is that seat taken? And I say,
the hell if I care, sit down? And the only
time we're not talking for the next six hours is
when we are drinking, I believe, if I remember this correctly,
(34:48):
they had to send up a champagne refueling flight halfway
to l A. And she's a huge sports fan. Her
father was a founder of one of the southern California
horse racing tracks, and she loves the Lakers. And she
thinks she was related to Lizzie Borden. Did I ever
see the European version of her lizz the Boarding film
where they show the white shots where they make it
look like she's nude, And I say, I'm absolutely certain
(35:09):
I have not. And her son and her driver and
her rolls Royce meet us at l a X and
she wants me to see her house, and then her
driver and her rolls Royce will give me a lift home,
and oh, by the way, she's flying back to New
York in a week. Should we become flying buddies. On
that trip, our flight gets canceled and we have to
find a new one. I'm hand carrying a lot of
(35:30):
more more valuable baseball cards, including like five hundred different
from the year nineteen o nine, and she wants to
see them, and she wants me to tell her something
about each player while we drink again. And we land
and she says, how are you getting to your folks house?
And I say, well, I'm going to get a car
here or something, and she said, no, you're not. I'll
give you a lift in my limo going right past
(35:50):
your house. And sure enough we get there. And as
Lizzie Montgomery's limo is taking me to my folks house
at ten o'clock at night, she says, will they still
be up here? Folks want to play a practical joke
on them. So two minutes later I knocked on the
door of my childhood home and my father opens it
instead of seeing me, it's her in the doorway, and
she says, hi, Mr Alderman, I'm Lizzie. I'm a friend
(36:13):
of keys Can he come out and play, and my
dad goes silent for the only time I a in
my life. And now my mother appears, so Lizzie can
pull the same routine on her. Hi, Mrs Alderman, I'm Lizzie,
I'm a friend of keys. Can he come out and play?
And now my mother is silent for the only time
in my life? I might add I thought Lizzie looked fabulous,
(36:35):
and I looked her up in Hallowell's film Guide and
I saw she was forty eight, and I thought, boy,
she looks fabulous for forty eight, And then I realized
my math is wrong. She was fifty eight, and she
was a joy. We talked by phone every couple of
weeks after that, and she died three years later of
colon cancer. But she is with me always, and not
just as the proverbial force of nature. Within minutes of
(36:58):
that day we met, January two, she bestowed upon me
a lesson, an eternal lesson. We were a little late
taking off, and since she had just loudly introduced herself
to me like I didn't know who she was, anybody
on the plane who wasn't sure it was her was
now sure. As we waited to taxi. Every man on
(37:20):
that plane came over and did the same thing. Oh hi,
miss Montgomery, excuse me, and they give me some sort
of nodding acknowledgment, like, hey, how you doing? As they
lean in past me. I was a big fan of
the Witch. I know you must get asked, there's a
million times a day, But is there anything I'm so
sorry to ask? Could you do that little nose twitch
used to do in the show? And she would say,
of course, and then she'd do it in These men
(37:41):
aged all then giggle like schoolboys. After the thirty or
thirty first time this happened, I say to her, Lizzie,
I don't know you, but I like you a lot already,
and your attitude towards your fans and the nose twitch
is wonderful. But I have to tell you, I certainly
(38:02):
hope that was the last of them, because the next
one who comes over, I'm gonna have to strangle him
with my bare hands because I can't take it anymore.
And for the only minutes of all the time I
knew her, Elizabeth Montgomery got very serious and said, oh no, Keith,
that is not the attitude you must have about this
remind me what year did Bewitched go off the air?
(38:24):
I had to guess, and she said, exactly, good, correct,
twenty years ago. And these people have remembered that nose
twitch for twenty years at least Bewitched. Keith is not Hamlet,
it is not Arthur Miller, it is not the Godfather,
but they remembered it. This is why you and I
(38:45):
both do what we do for a living. We have
transcended time with what we do for a living, something artistic,
something creative, no matter how small that we have done,
they have remembered it. People do it with you, I'm sure,
and I'm sure they'll continue to. And what you do
then is you say thank you for remembering, as if
they were the only one who ever remembered, Because that's
(39:08):
why we do this, Because they remembered me from twenty
years ago for a stupid little nose twitch. Duly chastised,
I apologized, and the huge, welcoming, conspiratorial, permanent friendship sexy
smile of Elizabeth Montgomery broke across her face like the sunrise,
(39:32):
and she whispered, either that Keith or they saw Bewitched
on cable last week, which means Lizzie gets another check
next week, and she twitched her nose at me, and
I will always love her. I've done all the damage
(40:02):
I can do here. Help me out. Subscribe to this
podcast or give it five stars, or tell a random
passer by. Most of the music, including our theme from
Beethoven's Ninth, was arranged, produced and performed by Brian Ray
and John Philip Chanelle, who are the Countdown musical directors.
All orchestration and keyboards by John Philip Chanelle, Guitars, bass
and drums by Brian Ray, produced by t Ko Brothers.
(40:24):
Other Beethoven selections have been arranged and performed by the
group No Horns Allowed. The sports music is the Old
Woman theme from ESPN two, and it was written by
Mitch Warren Davis. Appears courtesy b ESPN Inc. Musical comments
by Nancy Faust's the best baseball stadium organist ever. Our
announcer today was John Dean, and everything else is pretty
much my fault. Let's countdown for this the six day
(40:46):
since Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected
government in the United States. Arrest him now while we
still can. A new episode tomorrow till then. I'm Keith
old Woman. Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck.
M h Countdown with Keith Alderman is a production of
(41:12):
I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio,
visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts.
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