November 17, 2022 • 33 mins
Ally is joined by wellness journalist Emily Abbate to discuss her personal health journey, how to build better everyday habits, and creating the ‘Hurdle’ podcast to help others.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today's podcast is sponsored by Sea Geek. If you didn't know,
see Geek is the official ticketing partner of the Brooklyn
Whether you're trying to go to a Nets game, Liberty Game, concert,
or any other event at Barclay Center, you really only
need Sea Geek. Welcome to Courtside Conversation. I'm your girl,
(00:31):
Ali Love. After years on the Heartwood as the in
arena host for the Brooklyn Nets, it's time for me
to take a courtside. We're here with artists, athletes, and
all of our favorite people to break down the game
called life. We're getting real about the grow up and
the glow up. So let's take a seat. Oh my goodness.
(00:58):
So I am early excited that I get to have
you on. Emily is a friend of mine. So first off,
that's your title the end um. But outside of that,
you have a podcast, you do many things. You do keynotes,
you're a great motivational speaker, you're into fitness. Um, you've
been in the sport world, you've been in the media
world for so long. Um. But you had me on
(01:22):
your podcast Hurdle a few years ago. Maybe I think
was the time that I was on I think so.
But I want to take it before we even hop in,
because basically the courtside conversation is that we're gonna take
the sea courtside and we're gonna go through the game.
In this game, it's gonna be basketball. It's four quarters,
we have a little halftime fun and before we get
in't even into that. I want to say thank you.
(01:45):
I want everyone to know because I remember when we
did your podcast, you asked maybe a guest on I said, yes,
I was a bit nervous. Podcasts were just becoming a thing.
So hey girl, for being in front of the wave,
like leading the charge. But then you spent time with
me after dire and telling me what it took to
create your podcast. You gave me the secret to the
(02:06):
secret sauce. And the reason that's important and I want
to say thank you, is that many times we don't
highlight that, especially women in this game, in this game
of life, that we choose competition of a collaboration, and
you always and continuously lead from collaboration over competition, so
much so that now you're on my podcast, which I'm
(02:26):
so grateful for. But you also spent almost two hours
talking to me, giving me every little detail on how
to make this successful. And cut to four years later,
we're here. So I want to say thank you so much. Oh,
you are welcome. Hello, Hi, what's up. I'm so happy
to be here. And that sentiment is so important. Right.
(02:47):
We have the opportunity to cheer on for one another,
to be each other's cheerleaders, and that you will never
regret giving to someone else Selfishly, when I'm in a
little bit of a rut, iving to others is one
of the ways that I get out of it. It
feels so good to help someone else on their journey
(03:07):
and cheer them as they find their successes. So I
was more than happy to help you, and I'm so
so excited for you as you take off on this
new adventure for yourself. I know we'll see where it goes.
So with that, let's get started. Let's jump right into
the first quarter. And so usually in the first quarter
of the game, we throw it back and give insight
to those that are listening on your childhood, like in
terms of the growing up and the one question that
(03:28):
I think that I tend to ask for a reason,
and the reason for that is because when I was
growing up, I just really didn't know what was available
to me. I didn't know what my career, my career opportunity.
I didn't know what that would look like or what
that was. I knew, you know, you take a major
in college and then you hope it worked out. But
it was one of those things where I had to
stay curious around my greatness. Take us back to your
(03:49):
formative years in terms of deciding little Emily, like what
am I going to do? What was available to you?
And what do you think you were going to take
your career? And are you surprised at where you are now?
You know, I'm surprised where I am now and that
I never thought that I would become a podcaster. It's
not lost on me that this voice, there's something special
(04:10):
that's going on with this voice, but it was not
something I would use to make a career out of.
I definitely definitely always wanted to be some sort of
a writer and certainly a journalist. I went to Yukon
Let's Go Huskies, where I double majored in political science
and journalism, and for a stint there I really really
(04:31):
thought heavily about law school case law fascinates me, the
way that things are in our country. The reasons why
things are the way that they are truly, truly fascinates me.
But when I thought about the type of life that
I wanted to live, the lifestyle that I wanted to live,
maybe a little bit more freedom than I thought that
I would have in a career bad as a lawyer.
(04:52):
That's why I followed my true gut and went into
the journalism field. So I certainly always had asperty Paians
to be a writer, but the direction in which I
went in when it came to the topic area, I
never thought that I would be rooted in health and wellness.
It wasn't until I went through my own health and
(05:13):
wellness journey, a hurdle moment, as I call it on
the show, learning to switch that conversation that was going
on in my head. I was at the time, I
will say, overweight, and that I wasn't in good health.
I didn't really feel comfortable in my body. It wasn't
about the number, it was about how I viewed my body,
how I felt in my body, and again just really
(05:34):
really uncomfortable. I went through a major weight loss, and
during that weight loss, I learned to shift the dialogue
to be much more positive inside and really give back
to me, really learn all about self care and how
to prioritize my own mental health and my own well being.
Lost a ton of weight and that led me down
a road of being interested in health, fitness, wellness, and
(05:55):
then in turn eventually head into that side of the
journalism coin, so to speak, so of head into writing
about all things wellness for different publications, starting at Rodale,
who used to own publications like Women's Health, Men's Health,
Runners World, etcetera. Than to be the fitness editor over
at Self magazine, and then on a journey of freelance
(06:16):
and ultimately to kick start things with hurdles. So truly
truly grateful for the journey. And it's nothing like I
thought it would be, but it is way more than
I've imagined, and I still feel like I'm just getting started.
I think we met when maybe you were freelancing. I
don't think you were so it so maybe you were,
but it was kind of like in that transition, and
and the time that we spent more concentrated was when
(06:37):
we went to Germany with Adidas and we were there
on a trip and we got to know each other
a little bit more. But as we say, in this
first quarter before we talk about that journey of tapping
into the fitness world and in the health and wellness space. Um,
was there ever a moment in the transition of career,
whether it was deciding in college, this is what I
want to pursue, switching after saying law sounds great, but
(07:00):
maybe there's something a little bit more to explore. Was
there ever a moment or moments? But I'd love for
you to like maybe tap into one at a younger
age where you're just like, I don't know if I
can do this. I don't know if I'm made for this.
One of them that comes up for me is when
I moved to New York City. You know, from Miami, Florida,
nobody lived in New York. I was the first person.
My mom is one of ten kids, two cousins, one
(07:20):
of the first cousins to graduate college. And I remember
even before graduation, being in college a freshman year, and
I was just like, I want to go home. All
I know is I don't think I can make it
in New York. You know, make it in New York,
can make it everywhere. I'm making it anywhere because all
I want to do is I want to give up.
I want to go home. This isn't I'm not built
for this. And I started to second guess my abilities
because I was feeling lonely in what that next step
(07:43):
looked like of pursuing beingcoming a dancer, right, which was
my evolution. Was there ever a moment or time for
you where you start to second guests and you're like,
I want to go home? Well, Ali, I can sympathize
with that. New York is a lot to handle, but
you have shown own us so that you know how
to conquer a hurdle or two. For me, it really
(08:05):
was rooted in the uncertainty that came hand in hand
with becoming a freelance journalist. Right. I, as so many
often do, found myself a nine to five when I
graduated college, and for a handful of years that was
the way I was used to, getting a guaranteed paycheck
every other week, every week depending on the job. And
(08:26):
so when I was thrust into this world of freelance
writing a bypro byproduct excuse me of corporate layoffs first
and then the second time the magazine that I was
working for was shuttered. But I remember distinctly being a
full time freelance journalist, hustling on deadlines, chasing interviews. There
was this one particular weekend that I was heading out
(08:48):
east to the Hampton's with some friends, and I remember
that maybe three or four checks that were supposed to
be deposited into my big account none of them arrived.
And I'm sitting in the backseat of my friends sheep
and I'm just thinking to myself, am I going to
have enough money in my bank account to pay rent
(09:08):
next Monday? And so scared and frustrated because it wasn't
for any lack of trying. It was just learning the game.
And of course I did have money in my savings
that I could shift over, and I've since learned so
much about managing my finances and and certainly in a
different position now, but I do remember the frustrations that
came in hand in hand with your fate certainly being
(09:31):
within someone else's hands. To an extent, I could work
so hard, I could work from the moment I woke up,
and stay up late and do it again the next day.
But I still needed someone to say yes to me.
So I had to learn how to flip the script,
how to make those yes is more of a sure thing.
How to be my own biggest hype man. This goes
(09:53):
back to our conversation about loving to be a cheerleader
for other people. How could I hype myself up so
that I was the candidate that they wanted to work with,
so that my story pitch was the right story pitch
for all of these different outlets. And again, it took time.
It didn't happen overnight. But in doing that and being
my own hype man and believing in my own potential,
(10:14):
that's how I was able to land more assignments and
ultimately turn it back around, get back to myself and
start the show. So certainly, yes, there were definitely moments
where I was like, what is happening here? Today's podcast
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(10:35):
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(10:59):
to the second quarter. Obviously your podcast is you have
that moment, right, that hurdle, like that moment, which I
think is so profound. And the reason I'm sure again
the genesis of this came is because you had your
own hurdle moment, and I've been on and I've shared
mine about being hit by a car at nine years
old and and almost dying. I'd love for you to
take this opportunity, and I think this gives its lights
(11:19):
to if you haven't listened to Emily's podcast, this is
a great way for you after you finished listening to
this one to hop on over but talk us to
because I think that was an inflection point, that was
a turning point in your life where it's like I'm
going to tap into an industry at that point that
wasn't necessarily as forgive me because I don't want to
sound condescending, but sometimes I feel like the health and
(11:40):
wellness and fitness world is so buzzy when it's actually
just a lifestyle. It's a commitment, it's deep, it's a legacy,
it's rooted in reality. And so before this was a thing,
you had your own hurdle, you had your own inflection point.
Talk us through that. Yeah, And on that note of
the health and wellness industry being a lifestyle, I'm grateful
that these days that lifestyle is something that so many
(12:03):
different individuals understand that they are capable of living regardless
of what they look like, where they're from, their you know,
gender orientation, so sexual orientation, their gender identity. Excuse me,
so many different ways into the industry now that we
see different people standing at the forefront of this huge wave,
this huge buzzy wave as you called it. But back
(12:25):
when I was in college at the University of Connecticut,
I did not feel like I saw myself represented at
all by conventional media, and certainly not in the health
and fitness space. I weighed in at a number that
was over two hundred pounds, which for someone that stands
just shy of five foot four, that was for me,
in my body, not a place that I was comfortable at.
(12:46):
And so I was a freshman in college and I
felt so alone in my body, so uncomfortable in my body.
I recalled that I was sitting at my desk working
on a term paper or studying for a final, and
I thought that why not in this moment, the perfect
way to procrastinate. The work that I need to get
done is I should step on the scale that I
(13:07):
haven't dragged out from under my bed since moving day.
So I pull out the scale and I get on
that scale, and I tapped my toe to it. And literally,
from the moment that I tapped my toe to it
to the moment that I step onto it, to the
moment that the screen populates with this number, it felt
like an eternity, and I am greeted with something that
I guess, maybe deep inside my heart I knew, but
(13:28):
I had never truly confronted. And so in that moment,
I do something that's so counterintuitive to me. I hop
off the scale. I throw on a high school volleyball
sweatshirt and some cotton leggings from Target and some old sneakers,
and I run down the four flights of stairs from
my dorm to the outside, and I sprint for maybe
what was a total of like fourteen to twenty four seconds,
(13:50):
and so I cannot run anymore, and I fall over
and collapse in the grass, and the grass is wet
with dew, and I look up. It's nighttime, and I
look up at the stars above me, and I just
know in this moment that I need to make a change,
that I don't want to live this life where I
am not happy in this body. I was not happy
or fulfilled being who I was, and I am so
(14:13):
grateful when I look back on that moment and the
insight that I had, because I knew that I was
chasing a feeling. I was chasing a feeling of feeling
good in my body. I was never ever chasing a number. Now.
Of course, in my pursuit of what health felt right
(14:35):
for me, pounds came off with it, and that weight
loss happened in two phases. The first phase for me
was learning how to eat better, learning how to nourish
my body with good foods, and the second part was
learning to love running, something that from a young age
I was made to feel like I would never be
good at. I grew up in a family with one
brother who was the track star of the family. I
(14:57):
was always more interested in the art and I was
in the school musical. I remember that in the God
I don't know anyone who has a good experience with
their middle school or elementary school presidential physical fitness tests
like I did not do well on that. We are
all long term scarred from the presidential physical fitness tests,
and so I didn't do well on that. I got
(15:18):
kicked off of a volleyball team, or I didn't make
the JV volleyball team after playing freshman volleyball because I
couldn't run a mile in under ten minutes. So, needless
to say, uh oh, shout out to the Pumpkin Classic
five k, which I came in last with my father
at age thirteen. So running was never it was never
something that was that was good for me mentally. But
(15:39):
I learned one summer after I had started on this
journey of finding what healthy looked like for me, that
I was capable of doing it and doing it in
my own way, and doing it in a way that
didn't involve comparing my performance to anybody else's performance. So
I laced up every single day for an entire summer,
and I went out and ran what I thought was
(15:59):
about a mile, and that mile took me over fourteen minutes.
And it wasn't until the end of that summer when
I drove the distance with my car and found out
that I had actually been running just a half mile
every single day. And you know what I thought, you
were gonna say the I was like a mile and
a half. Oh my god, what a lovely No, no,
just a half mile. But that half mile truly best
(16:22):
gift I've ever given myself, because it taught me one
that I am capable to that I can commit to
anything that I set my mind to, and three that
I was worthy of my own energy like we all are.
I was worthy of my own investment. And so that summer,
through that half mile a day, I learned to love running.
(16:45):
And the journey progresses from there, from five ks to
half marathons to now ten marathon finished lines later. I
am truly who I am today because I stuck it
out that summer with that half mile shout out. So
the half mile, even if it wasn't a full mile,
half mon it's fine. No, I think that's really inspirational.
And I think the reason for this story and the
(17:06):
reason I think I've taken this second quarter to tell,
is because again, we get so caught up on what
it looks like and where we are now and what
Instagram says, right, a really tight aperture, a small aperture
of life, and everyone's like she has it all together,
but we all which is what this podcast is about.
Is when you take a seat court side, while the
players may look like they're winning the whole game or
you know, they're amazing, they got it all they get
(17:28):
to do what they love every single day, is that
oftentimes they too. The players that we watch on Instagram,
like Emily, like these players often to have those turning points,
have those inflection points, have those hardships, have those hurdles
like we all identify on that and in the playing
field is even um, I want to jump into our halftime,
which is always a good a good time, and this
(17:50):
is for us to have a little fun, just just
a little quick It's called rappit fire, but I call
it fire wrappit, so it's a fire wrappit. It's short
and sweet. And then I'm gonna end with one question
that I ask everyone that I can't wait to find
what yours is? You can only pick the question at
the end. There's only one answer. I've had a couple
of guys that have more, So if you feel compelled,
you can have more, but I encourage you to find
out what what is that one thing? So are you ready?
(18:12):
I guess so, Ali, I guess so? Hey, you don't
sound excited about my halftime entertainment. Born ready, born ready. Yeah,
you've been excited about my halftime entertainment. This is the
halftime entertainment you didn't know you needed. You thought you
need a dancers to dance for you. You thought you
needed to catch a T shirt. You thought you needed
your birthday to be up on the video board. No,
you need my fire wrappit to make your day with
this great energy that I'm giving my energy bus. Right,
(18:36):
we're ready, we ready, okay, all right, So night inter
night out, night in running, recycling running. Well, then I
see the peloton bike behind you. There you go and
the weights. Um. Some people call it ath leisure maybe
like you know your personality ath leisure or dressing up.
I love to dress up, but I'm more often an athleisure. Okay,
(18:59):
chocolate over an ice cream chocolate? iPhone or Android iPhone?
A few words or more words, few words call or
text call. Wow, that's the first call I've heard. Don't
ever call me, just text me. And then our last
question is what is one? What is your one biggest
(19:21):
pet peeve? Oh, this is an excellent question. I would
say my biggest pet peeve is people who don't communicate well,
which is why I am a call over a text.
I feel as though, yes I text often, but if
we have subpart communication, oftentimes that subpart communication is a
(19:42):
result of words getting misconstrued via texting, messaging, email, etcetera.
So I'm a call and I'm a poor communicator. Pet
peeve red flag, no boy, not m How do you
get off the phone? My thing is, I don't you
call me? And I could start, I can answer. I
got the beginning, I got the middle, all accomplished, but
to seal the deal that in is really hard for me.
(20:04):
If someone is like, just keep going like maybe I
don't want to see them later, because then I was like, Okay,
see you later, But then I'm like, I'm lying because
I actually don't ever want to see you a day
of my life. UM, just keep emailing me like how
do we close the conversation? Hey, I love being able
to catch up with you, but I've got to run
and get something else done right now. I will talk
to you soon. Okay, I'm gonna write that down. I'm
gonna listen to this podcast back because I do not
(20:25):
think of that ever. Or you can just tell someone
that you appreciate them, and that's like sign seal delivery,
keep moving on. I appreciate you for what you brought
to me on this call. I appreciate you for asking
or answering my questions. And now I've got to get
to the next thing. There you go, let's take that
into the third quarter, because that's called rejection. Um, that
is what they called that. That's good to say, I
gotta practice it, but it's hard to hear. I have
(20:46):
to say if someone says that to me. You've been
in the world of journalism for a very long time,
Like you said, you've accessed yourself in writing, now you
have a podcast, You're a great communicator, you call a
lot of people. Uh, it's inevitable that rejection is going
to be a part of the journey. How have you
handled and I know you touched on it a little
bit of like the paycheck story, but how have you
handled rejection throughout your life? Do you have kind of
a strategy that you can lend and share with us
(21:09):
on how to handle rejection a little bit more? I
don't know if it's necessarily a strategy, but as you
touched on and as anyone listening to this can certainly
imagine I am asking people who are very often spread
thin for their time. I do it a lot, and
I'm talking big name, wonderfully accomplished humans ranging from Goodness
(21:34):
Alison Felix to Andy put a comb of headspace to
a woman like yourself, Ali. So many outrageously talented, wonderful people,
and understandably so, it's hard to find the time, especially
when you talk about schedules aligning, and sometimes these asks
are met with a no thank you. I view every
(21:56):
no thank you respectfully, but really as a just not
right now, because I can't even begin to tell you
how many individuals have told me no thank you at
one point or another, and then now they're in the
feed there on the show and we have had since
the time to connect. So yes, rejection is frustrating. And
(22:18):
keep in mind, it doesn't just come to me via
avenues like the people or the guests that I'm hoping
to have their time. It also comes in the form
of pitching perhaps a sponsor on a certain rate to
come on the show, or for me if I'm trying
to solidify a certain speaking opportunity and maybe our dates
stone align. And that's like a form of passive rejection.
(22:40):
It's like, well, I guess this isn't gonna work out.
You have to be again, going back to where we started,
your own biggest cheerleader. But also understand that oftentimes a
know is just a not right now, and have respect
for that. There is no shame in circling back on something.
Maybe don't use that term after the last couple of years.
I think we're all a little anti that I'm going
to circle back on this phrase. But come back to
(23:03):
this and ask again. You'll never regret sending the email.
And if you don't ask, if you don't put yourself
out there, then you will absolutely never know. So be
your own biggest cheerleader. Have some grace with yourself when
these nose come in, because they will come. You have
to have a reasonable expectation. Even the biggest of the
(23:23):
big names. I'm sure because of scheduling complex even someone
has at one point or another said no to Oprah, right,
So know that you're not the only person who hears no.
Understand that you're doing the best you can with what
you have, and move forward understanding that what is for
you will not pass you by period and statement. Whoever said,
(23:46):
note that Oprah is probably kicking themselves multiple times over
the most whole years. So um, shoutouts to Oprah. You motivational, encouraging,
always have good energy anytime we've been around each other.
You're very consistent from taking photos of traveling with your
seekers and your passport, really stopping the line the t
s A line to take a photo of your stuff. Um,
I often think about the people that are behind you,
(24:08):
like women, could you move and stop putting this on Instagram?
But consistent with all of the things that you prioritize,
what does a bad day look like for you? Man? Well,
first off, let me just shed some light on the
t s A Security Bin photo which actually happens in
my living room. Now there's a t s A Security
been in my home with my dad. Is this legal?
It's it's legal. You can buy it on Amazon. My
(24:30):
dad became a security been for Christmas as a joke
during the pandemic when we weren't traveling. And so any
bin you see going forward is always is always taken. Hear.
But with that said, uh, follow me on Instagram for
more insight into the security bin sagba. But what I
will say is for me a bad day, they come right.
And this also goes back to your point earlier about
(24:52):
the things that we see on social media, and it's
easy to fall into the comparison trap. And the reality
is that when I'm not feeling it, or when I'm
having a bad day, I don't should myself out of it.
And that is something that so many of us really
struggle with. It's this idea that I should be feeling happy,
I should be grateful for what's going on, I should
(25:13):
be X or Y or z. The reality is is that, yes,
I always try to come back to this place of
having grace with myself. I always try to allow myself
to experience all of the feelings, and that really is
what I come back to when I'm having a bad day.
You have to take the time to feel the feelings.
(25:34):
You have to allow yourself to experience what is truly
going on, because if you if you bury it deep
and you do not let yourself experience those feelings, feel
those feelings, then they're just gonna bubble up at some
later point in time. So give yourself that moment. You
don't work hard at something, even if it is literally
just showing up to your day. I'm not saying that
(25:55):
you need to be going out there and running a
marathon to have worked hard during your day. Even if
your hard work is just showing up in your office
and putting on a happy face. You don't work hard
for something not to go as you had hoped or
how you had expected. So allow yourself to experience that.
Understand that that moment, that bad day, that failure, it
(26:16):
isn't happening just to put you on on the defense,
to put you in a bad place. It's happening to
teach you something. So feel the feelings, take the lessons
from that failure or that hurdle, and then use them
going forward to inform yourself on how you can better
show up as the days and the hours go on.
(26:36):
So for me, I mean a bad day is really
often logging off. It's sitting at this desk. If I'm
staring into space and I realized that nothing is getting done,
I'm not moving forward in the direction that I had hoped.
The day isn't going as I had hoped. I will
literally put a hard pause on myself and be like,
remove yourself from the situation, get up, take a walk
around the block. Even if it is just one walk,
(26:59):
one talk, right, come back in and have a little reset,
have a moment where you flip the script, because oftentimes
when we are having a bad day, when we're having
a bad moment, it is so easy to indulge, unfortunately
in that negative self talk. So coming back to being
your own cheerleader, coming back to being your hype man.
(27:21):
Oftentimes that step outside, that come back that allows me
to get in the right mindset so that I can
remember who I am, how far I've come, and the amazing,
amazing progress that I've made since I started in so
many different aspects of my life. Let's come into the
fourth quarter, because you said, take a walk around the block,
and running has been become a big part of your narrative,
(27:42):
a big part of your journey as someone who when
I first started running, I called myself a baby runner
and I never run a marathon, but I'm very proud
that I've run multiple half marathons. That's my length. I
love running. I've fallen in love with running. I've continuously
fall in love with running because I love hate relationship,
and it does serve my soul right, It clears my mind,
It makes me feel a calm blish for sure. On
the days that you know that you should walk around
(28:04):
the block or that you should go for a run,
I'm not shooting all myself. I say, don't shoot on yourself.
Very similar around the should. But it's like on the
days where you had planned that I'm going to go
for a run or I know this is what I
had planned for myself. How do you flip that switch?
What do you tell yourself, like specifically, what do you
tell yourself when you you're like, I know running will
be good for me. I know it would be an outlet,
(28:24):
I'll know it would be a reset, but I don't
feel like doing it. Yeah, And there's a fine line
between having the grace with yourself to allow yourself to
just be instead of forcing yourself to move. But in
my experience, in all of the days that have led
me up to this day, most of the time, the
movement is going to be the thing that helps me
(28:45):
get unstuck. Just this morning, I hopped up onto the
treadmill to get some intervals done and I really, really
really did not feel like doing it. I did my
little warm up mile, I was ready to start my
first set of four and I was like, I don't
know if today's day. And then I came back to
where I always come back to, which is this idea,
(29:05):
just start with one. It starts with one rep, one experiment.
One try to show yourself what you are capable of,
not necessarily just on the treadmill or with running, but
how about that one rep of speaking to yourself with kindness.
How about that one rep of cleaning up this small
(29:27):
area in your apartment which reminds you that you're capable
of cleaning the whole thing. What about this one rep
of making time to call your grandmother on a Tuesday,
or to set aside a calendar mark to sit down
and have lunch with one of your parents on the weekend,
if you're so lucky to have them. It is one
rep just beginning that reminds you of who you are
(29:47):
and what you're capable of. And that is what I
tell myself time and time again. This morning, I got
on the treadmill, I did my one rep, and then
six reps later, I was happy that I started with
that one right, So believing yourself, have the faith and
know that that one rep also may not feel the
same as it did yesterday and it could feel completely
different tomorrow, But have grace with yourself to meet yourself
(30:10):
with it where you're at, and know that moving forward,
all you can do is the best you have with
what you've got there, you go and make the best
decision with the information that you know now. One rep
starting a podcast, one conversation, multiple conversations later. You just
celebrated something on Instagram. I saw, and I see your
little sign behind there. Um. But you have a space,
right was that? Is that something new? Tell me about
(30:31):
it because I know for me, my space right now
is still in the corner of my actual bedroom and
there's a hot mess, and my treadmill is right my
Palisan tread is right here. Everything is just boom. But
you have a designated space, which in New York, in
any big city, or just in any space, to have
a designated space for your work is a big accomplishment.
It's a big milestone. So tell us about that. So
(30:55):
I started this podcast a little over four years ago
in my fourth floor walk up a reast side bedroom
with a blue yetting microphone that I think cost around
a hundred and twenty dollars and now almost five hundred
episodes of the show ten seasons, six million downloads later,
I'm sitting in a studio dedicated to the podcast I'll
(31:16):
Never Forget. About maybe three years or so ago, I
was recording with a woman by the name of Lindsay Simpson.
She is one of the co founders of Almost thirty.
And I was recording with Lindsay in their studio, which
was also inside of an apartment that one of them
lived in Lindsay at the time. And so I'll never
forget walking into that space. When I had my own
small fourth floor walk up on the Upper east Side,
(31:38):
I was like, one day, I want to have a
home where why have a full bedroom dedicated to being
my studio space? And like that's how I will know that,
like this has taken me somewhere that I have really
really done this thing that I want to do. And
let me tell you last May, when I was looking
for my next apartment, ready to move out of that
fourth floor walk up on the Upper east Side, I
(31:58):
walked into this space and I knew that I was home.
So I feel truly beyond grateful, so fortunate, not only
for the opportunity to have this space, but for all
of the hard work and the know that I had
to say personally to own my no to get here
right because it didn't happen overnight, and I did have
(32:19):
a lot of those hard days that we spoke about,
But at the end, I believed in myself and I
kept persevering and I kept pushing forward, and I truly
truly manifested sitting in this chair right now having the
opportunity to do stuff like this. So I am so
thankful for this space. And it is truly like, oh
my goodness, I have some of my highest ties and
(32:39):
honestly some of my lowest lows in here. So I
just keep pushing forward every day and leading with with
a grateful heart. I love it. Well, thank you so much.
I again, I am so grateful for you. I'm so
grateful to you. I'm happy you are in my orbit.
I am proud of you. And this was a feel
good conversation. I feel like there was so much that
many of you that are listening that I've listened to
(33:00):
the end you would have some great takeaways. I feel empowered.
I'm like, I'm getting ready for this meeting. I talked
to Emily. I'm about to get out here and get it.
So thank you for always being the boss and an
example of what it means to boss up. Thank you
for sitting courtside. Oh you're thank you for motivating me.
I appreciate you, Ali, truly, it means the world. Yes,
thank you so much everyone. Thank you so much for listening.
(33:21):
That was our courtside conversation with my girl Emily. I'll
talk to you all later
Today's podcast is sponsored by Sea Geek. If you didn't know,
see Geek is the official ticketing partner of the Brooklyn
Whether you're trying to go to a Nets game, Liberty Game, concert,
or any other event at Barclay Center, you really only
need Sea Geek. Welcome to Courtside Conversation. I'm your girl,
(00:31):
Ali Love. After years on the Heartwood as the in
arena host for the Brooklyn Nets, it's time for me
to take a courtside. We're here with artists, athletes, and
all of our favorite people to break down the game
called life. We're getting real about the grow up and
the glow up. So let's take a seat. Oh my goodness.
(00:58):
So I am early excited that I get to have
you on. Emily is a friend of mine. So first off,
that's your title the end um. But outside of that,
you have a podcast, you do many things. You do keynotes,
you're a great motivational speaker, you're into fitness. Um, you've
been in the sport world, you've been in the media
world for so long. Um. But you had me on
(01:22):
your podcast Hurdle a few years ago. Maybe I think
was the time that I was on I think so.
But I want to take it before we even hop in,
because basically the courtside conversation is that we're gonna take
the sea courtside and we're gonna go through the game.
In this game, it's gonna be basketball. It's four quarters,
we have a little halftime fun and before we get
in't even into that. I want to say thank you.
(01:45):
I want everyone to know because I remember when we
did your podcast, you asked maybe a guest on I said, yes,
I was a bit nervous. Podcasts were just becoming a thing.
So hey girl, for being in front of the wave,
like leading the charge. But then you spent time with
me after dire and telling me what it took to
create your podcast. You gave me the secret to the
(02:06):
secret sauce. And the reason that's important and I want
to say thank you, is that many times we don't
highlight that, especially women in this game, in this game
of life, that we choose competition of a collaboration, and
you always and continuously lead from collaboration over competition, so
much so that now you're on my podcast, which I'm
(02:26):
so grateful for. But you also spent almost two hours
talking to me, giving me every little detail on how
to make this successful. And cut to four years later,
we're here. So I want to say thank you so much. Oh,
you are welcome. Hello, Hi, what's up. I'm so happy
to be here. And that sentiment is so important. Right.
(02:47):
We have the opportunity to cheer on for one another,
to be each other's cheerleaders, and that you will never
regret giving to someone else Selfishly, when I'm in a
little bit of a rut, iving to others is one
of the ways that I get out of it. It
feels so good to help someone else on their journey
(03:07):
and cheer them as they find their successes. So I
was more than happy to help you, and I'm so
so excited for you as you take off on this
new adventure for yourself. I know we'll see where it goes.
So with that, let's get started. Let's jump right into
the first quarter. And so usually in the first quarter
of the game, we throw it back and give insight
to those that are listening on your childhood, like in
terms of the growing up and the one question that
(03:28):
I think that I tend to ask for a reason,
and the reason for that is because when I was
growing up, I just really didn't know what was available
to me. I didn't know what my career, my career opportunity.
I didn't know what that would look like or what
that was. I knew, you know, you take a major
in college and then you hope it worked out. But
it was one of those things where I had to
stay curious around my greatness. Take us back to your
(03:49):
formative years in terms of deciding little Emily, like what
am I going to do? What was available to you?
And what do you think you were going to take
your career? And are you surprised at where you are now?
You know, I'm surprised where I am now and that
I never thought that I would become a podcaster. It's
not lost on me that this voice, there's something special
(04:10):
that's going on with this voice, but it was not
something I would use to make a career out of.
I definitely definitely always wanted to be some sort of
a writer and certainly a journalist. I went to Yukon
Let's Go Huskies, where I double majored in political science
and journalism, and for a stint there I really really
(04:31):
thought heavily about law school case law fascinates me, the
way that things are in our country. The reasons why
things are the way that they are truly, truly fascinates me.
But when I thought about the type of life that
I wanted to live, the lifestyle that I wanted to live,
maybe a little bit more freedom than I thought that
I would have in a career bad as a lawyer.
(04:52):
That's why I followed my true gut and went into
the journalism field. So I certainly always had asperty Paians
to be a writer, but the direction in which I
went in when it came to the topic area, I
never thought that I would be rooted in health and wellness.
It wasn't until I went through my own health and
(05:13):
wellness journey, a hurdle moment, as I call it on
the show, learning to switch that conversation that was going
on in my head. I was at the time, I
will say, overweight, and that I wasn't in good health.
I didn't really feel comfortable in my body. It wasn't
about the number, it was about how I viewed my body,
how I felt in my body, and again just really
(05:34):
really uncomfortable. I went through a major weight loss, and
during that weight loss, I learned to shift the dialogue
to be much more positive inside and really give back
to me, really learn all about self care and how
to prioritize my own mental health and my own well being.
Lost a ton of weight and that led me down
a road of being interested in health, fitness, wellness, and
(05:55):
then in turn eventually head into that side of the
journalism coin, so to speak, so of head into writing
about all things wellness for different publications, starting at Rodale,
who used to own publications like Women's Health, Men's Health,
Runners World, etcetera. Than to be the fitness editor over
at Self magazine, and then on a journey of freelance
(06:16):
and ultimately to kick start things with hurdles. So truly
truly grateful for the journey. And it's nothing like I
thought it would be, but it is way more than
I've imagined, and I still feel like I'm just getting started.
I think we met when maybe you were freelancing. I
don't think you were so it so maybe you were,
but it was kind of like in that transition, and
and the time that we spent more concentrated was when
(06:37):
we went to Germany with Adidas and we were there
on a trip and we got to know each other
a little bit more. But as we say, in this
first quarter before we talk about that journey of tapping
into the fitness world and in the health and wellness space. Um,
was there ever a moment in the transition of career,
whether it was deciding in college, this is what I
want to pursue, switching after saying law sounds great, but
(07:00):
maybe there's something a little bit more to explore. Was
there ever a moment or moments? But I'd love for
you to like maybe tap into one at a younger
age where you're just like, I don't know if I
can do this. I don't know if I'm made for this.
One of them that comes up for me is when
I moved to New York City. You know, from Miami, Florida,
nobody lived in New York. I was the first person.
My mom is one of ten kids, two cousins, one
(07:20):
of the first cousins to graduate college. And I remember
even before graduation, being in college a freshman year, and
I was just like, I want to go home. All
I know is I don't think I can make it
in New York. You know, make it in New York,
can make it everywhere. I'm making it anywhere because all
I want to do is I want to give up.
I want to go home. This isn't I'm not built
for this. And I started to second guess my abilities
because I was feeling lonely in what that next step
(07:43):
looked like of pursuing beingcoming a dancer, right, which was
my evolution. Was there ever a moment or time for
you where you start to second guests and you're like,
I want to go home? Well, Ali, I can sympathize
with that. New York is a lot to handle, but
you have shown own us so that you know how
to conquer a hurdle or two. For me, it really
(08:05):
was rooted in the uncertainty that came hand in hand
with becoming a freelance journalist. Right. I, as so many
often do, found myself a nine to five when I
graduated college, and for a handful of years that was
the way I was used to, getting a guaranteed paycheck
every other week, every week depending on the job. And
(08:26):
so when I was thrust into this world of freelance
writing a bypro byproduct excuse me of corporate layoffs first
and then the second time the magazine that I was
working for was shuttered. But I remember distinctly being a
full time freelance journalist, hustling on deadlines, chasing interviews. There
was this one particular weekend that I was heading out
(08:48):
east to the Hampton's with some friends, and I remember
that maybe three or four checks that were supposed to
be deposited into my big account none of them arrived.
And I'm sitting in the backseat of my friends sheep
and I'm just thinking to myself, am I going to
have enough money in my bank account to pay rent
(09:08):
next Monday? And so scared and frustrated because it wasn't
for any lack of trying. It was just learning the game.
And of course I did have money in my savings
that I could shift over, and I've since learned so
much about managing my finances and and certainly in a
different position now, but I do remember the frustrations that
came in hand in hand with your fate certainly being
(09:31):
within someone else's hands. To an extent, I could work
so hard, I could work from the moment I woke up,
and stay up late and do it again the next day.
But I still needed someone to say yes to me.
So I had to learn how to flip the script,
how to make those yes is more of a sure thing.
How to be my own biggest hype man. This goes
(09:53):
back to our conversation about loving to be a cheerleader
for other people. How could I hype myself up so
that I was the candidate that they wanted to work with,
so that my story pitch was the right story pitch
for all of these different outlets. And again, it took time.
It didn't happen overnight. But in doing that and being
my own hype man and believing in my own potential,
(10:14):
that's how I was able to land more assignments and
ultimately turn it back around, get back to myself and
start the show. So certainly, yes, there were definitely moments
where I was like, what is happening here? Today's podcast
is sponsored by seat geek. If you didn't know, seek
(10:35):
is the official ticketing partner of the Brooklyn Nets. Unlike
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Whether you're trying to go to a Nets game, Liberty game, concert,
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web in one place to make buying simple. Lets something
(10:59):
to the second quarter. Obviously your podcast is you have
that moment, right, that hurdle, like that moment, which I
think is so profound. And the reason I'm sure again
the genesis of this came is because you had your
own hurdle moment, and I've been on and I've shared
mine about being hit by a car at nine years
old and and almost dying. I'd love for you to
take this opportunity, and I think this gives its lights
(11:19):
to if you haven't listened to Emily's podcast, this is
a great way for you after you finished listening to
this one to hop on over but talk us to
because I think that was an inflection point, that was
a turning point in your life where it's like I'm
going to tap into an industry at that point that
wasn't necessarily as forgive me because I don't want to
sound condescending, but sometimes I feel like the health and
(11:40):
wellness and fitness world is so buzzy when it's actually
just a lifestyle. It's a commitment, it's deep, it's a legacy,
it's rooted in reality. And so before this was a thing,
you had your own hurdle, you had your own inflection point.
Talk us through that. Yeah, And on that note of
the health and wellness industry being a lifestyle, I'm grateful
that these days that lifestyle is something that so many
(12:03):
different individuals understand that they are capable of living regardless
of what they look like, where they're from, their you know,
gender orientation, so sexual orientation, their gender identity. Excuse me,
so many different ways into the industry now that we
see different people standing at the forefront of this huge wave,
this huge buzzy wave as you called it. But back
(12:25):
when I was in college at the University of Connecticut,
I did not feel like I saw myself represented at
all by conventional media, and certainly not in the health
and fitness space. I weighed in at a number that
was over two hundred pounds, which for someone that stands
just shy of five foot four, that was for me,
in my body, not a place that I was comfortable at.
(12:46):
And so I was a freshman in college and I
felt so alone in my body, so uncomfortable in my body.
I recalled that I was sitting at my desk working
on a term paper or studying for a final, and
I thought that why not in this moment, the perfect
way to procrastinate. The work that I need to get
done is I should step on the scale that I
(13:07):
haven't dragged out from under my bed since moving day.
So I pull out the scale and I get on
that scale, and I tapped my toe to it. And literally,
from the moment that I tapped my toe to it
to the moment that I step onto it, to the
moment that the screen populates with this number, it felt
like an eternity, and I am greeted with something that
I guess, maybe deep inside my heart I knew, but
(13:28):
I had never truly confronted. And so in that moment,
I do something that's so counterintuitive to me. I hop
off the scale. I throw on a high school volleyball
sweatshirt and some cotton leggings from Target and some old sneakers,
and I run down the four flights of stairs from
my dorm to the outside, and I sprint for maybe
what was a total of like fourteen to twenty four seconds,
(13:50):
and so I cannot run anymore, and I fall over
and collapse in the grass, and the grass is wet
with dew, and I look up. It's nighttime, and I
look up at the stars above me, and I just
know in this moment that I need to make a change,
that I don't want to live this life where I
am not happy in this body. I was not happy
or fulfilled being who I was, and I am so
(14:13):
grateful when I look back on that moment and the
insight that I had, because I knew that I was
chasing a feeling. I was chasing a feeling of feeling
good in my body. I was never ever chasing a number. Now.
Of course, in my pursuit of what health felt right
(14:35):
for me, pounds came off with it, and that weight
loss happened in two phases. The first phase for me
was learning how to eat better, learning how to nourish
my body with good foods, and the second part was
learning to love running, something that from a young age
I was made to feel like I would never be
good at. I grew up in a family with one
brother who was the track star of the family. I
(14:57):
was always more interested in the art and I was
in the school musical. I remember that in the God
I don't know anyone who has a good experience with
their middle school or elementary school presidential physical fitness tests
like I did not do well on that. We are
all long term scarred from the presidential physical fitness tests,
and so I didn't do well on that. I got
(15:18):
kicked off of a volleyball team, or I didn't make
the JV volleyball team after playing freshman volleyball because I
couldn't run a mile in under ten minutes. So, needless
to say, uh oh, shout out to the Pumpkin Classic
five k, which I came in last with my father
at age thirteen. So running was never it was never
something that was that was good for me mentally. But
(15:39):
I learned one summer after I had started on this
journey of finding what healthy looked like for me, that
I was capable of doing it and doing it in
my own way, and doing it in a way that
didn't involve comparing my performance to anybody else's performance. So
I laced up every single day for an entire summer,
and I went out and ran what I thought was
(15:59):
about a mile, and that mile took me over fourteen minutes.
And it wasn't until the end of that summer when
I drove the distance with my car and found out
that I had actually been running just a half mile
every single day. And you know what I thought, you
were gonna say the I was like a mile and
a half. Oh my god, what a lovely No, no,
just a half mile. But that half mile truly best
(16:22):
gift I've ever given myself, because it taught me one
that I am capable to that I can commit to
anything that I set my mind to, and three that
I was worthy of my own energy like we all are.
I was worthy of my own investment. And so that summer,
through that half mile a day, I learned to love running.
(16:45):
And the journey progresses from there, from five ks to
half marathons to now ten marathon finished lines later. I
am truly who I am today because I stuck it
out that summer with that half mile shout out. So
the half mile, even if it wasn't a full mile,
half mon it's fine. No, I think that's really inspirational.
And I think the reason for this story and the
(17:06):
reason I think I've taken this second quarter to tell,
is because again, we get so caught up on what
it looks like and where we are now and what
Instagram says, right, a really tight aperture, a small aperture
of life, and everyone's like she has it all together,
but we all which is what this podcast is about.
Is when you take a seat court side, while the
players may look like they're winning the whole game or
you know, they're amazing, they got it all they get
(17:28):
to do what they love every single day, is that
oftentimes they too. The players that we watch on Instagram,
like Emily, like these players often to have those turning points,
have those inflection points, have those hardships, have those hurdles
like we all identify on that and in the playing
field is even um, I want to jump into our halftime,
which is always a good a good time, and this
(17:50):
is for us to have a little fun, just just
a little quick It's called rappit fire, but I call
it fire wrappit, so it's a fire wrappit. It's short
and sweet. And then I'm gonna end with one question
that I ask everyone that I can't wait to find
what yours is? You can only pick the question at
the end. There's only one answer. I've had a couple
of guys that have more, So if you feel compelled,
you can have more, but I encourage you to find
out what what is that one thing? So are you ready?
(18:12):
I guess so, Ali, I guess so? Hey, you don't
sound excited about my halftime entertainment. Born ready, born ready. Yeah,
you've been excited about my halftime entertainment. This is the
halftime entertainment you didn't know you needed. You thought you
need a dancers to dance for you. You thought you
needed to catch a T shirt. You thought you needed
your birthday to be up on the video board. No,
you need my fire wrappit to make your day with
this great energy that I'm giving my energy bus. Right,
(18:36):
we're ready, we ready, okay, all right, So night inter
night out, night in running, recycling running. Well, then I
see the peloton bike behind you. There you go and
the weights. Um. Some people call it ath leisure maybe
like you know your personality ath leisure or dressing up.
I love to dress up, but I'm more often an athleisure. Okay,
(18:59):
chocolate over an ice cream chocolate? iPhone or Android iPhone?
A few words or more words, few words call or
text call. Wow, that's the first call I've heard. Don't
ever call me, just text me. And then our last
question is what is one? What is your one biggest
(19:21):
pet peeve? Oh, this is an excellent question. I would
say my biggest pet peeve is people who don't communicate well,
which is why I am a call over a text.
I feel as though, yes I text often, but if
we have subpart communication, oftentimes that subpart communication is a
(19:42):
result of words getting misconstrued via texting, messaging, email, etcetera.
So I'm a call and I'm a poor communicator. Pet
peeve red flag, no boy, not m How do you
get off the phone? My thing is, I don't you
call me? And I could start, I can answer. I
got the beginning, I got the middle, all accomplished, but
to seal the deal that in is really hard for me.
(20:04):
If someone is like, just keep going like maybe I
don't want to see them later, because then I was like, Okay,
see you later, But then I'm like, I'm lying because
I actually don't ever want to see you a day
of my life. UM, just keep emailing me like how
do we close the conversation? Hey, I love being able
to catch up with you, but I've got to run
and get something else done right now. I will talk
to you soon. Okay, I'm gonna write that down. I'm
gonna listen to this podcast back because I do not
(20:25):
think of that ever. Or you can just tell someone
that you appreciate them, and that's like sign seal delivery,
keep moving on. I appreciate you for what you brought
to me on this call. I appreciate you for asking
or answering my questions. And now I've got to get
to the next thing. There you go, let's take that
into the third quarter, because that's called rejection. Um, that
is what they called that. That's good to say, I
gotta practice it, but it's hard to hear. I have
(20:46):
to say if someone says that to me. You've been
in the world of journalism for a very long time,
Like you said, you've accessed yourself in writing, now you
have a podcast, You're a great communicator, you call a
lot of people. Uh, it's inevitable that rejection is going
to be a part of the journey. How have you
handled and I know you touched on it a little
bit of like the paycheck story, but how have you
handled rejection throughout your life? Do you have kind of
a strategy that you can lend and share with us
(21:09):
on how to handle rejection a little bit more? I
don't know if it's necessarily a strategy, but as you
touched on and as anyone listening to this can certainly
imagine I am asking people who are very often spread
thin for their time. I do it a lot, and
I'm talking big name, wonderfully accomplished humans ranging from Goodness
(21:34):
Alison Felix to Andy put a comb of headspace to
a woman like yourself, Ali. So many outrageously talented, wonderful people,
and understandably so, it's hard to find the time, especially
when you talk about schedules aligning, and sometimes these asks
are met with a no thank you. I view every
(21:56):
no thank you respectfully, but really as a just not
right now, because I can't even begin to tell you
how many individuals have told me no thank you at
one point or another, and then now they're in the
feed there on the show and we have had since
the time to connect. So yes, rejection is frustrating. And
(22:18):
keep in mind, it doesn't just come to me via
avenues like the people or the guests that I'm hoping
to have their time. It also comes in the form
of pitching perhaps a sponsor on a certain rate to
come on the show, or for me if I'm trying
to solidify a certain speaking opportunity and maybe our dates
stone align. And that's like a form of passive rejection.
(22:40):
It's like, well, I guess this isn't gonna work out.
You have to be again, going back to where we started,
your own biggest cheerleader. But also understand that oftentimes a
know is just a not right now, and have respect
for that. There is no shame in circling back on something.
Maybe don't use that term after the last couple of years.
I think we're all a little anti that I'm going
to circle back on this phrase. But come back to
(23:03):
this and ask again. You'll never regret sending the email.
And if you don't ask, if you don't put yourself
out there, then you will absolutely never know. So be
your own biggest cheerleader. Have some grace with yourself when
these nose come in, because they will come. You have
to have a reasonable expectation. Even the biggest of the
(23:23):
big names. I'm sure because of scheduling complex even someone
has at one point or another said no to Oprah, right,
So know that you're not the only person who hears no.
Understand that you're doing the best you can with what
you have, and move forward understanding that what is for
you will not pass you by period and statement. Whoever said,
(23:46):
note that Oprah is probably kicking themselves multiple times over
the most whole years. So um, shoutouts to Oprah. You motivational, encouraging,
always have good energy anytime we've been around each other.
You're very consistent from taking photos of traveling with your
seekers and your passport, really stopping the line the t
s A line to take a photo of your stuff. Um,
I often think about the people that are behind you,
(24:08):
like women, could you move and stop putting this on Instagram?
But consistent with all of the things that you prioritize,
what does a bad day look like for you? Man? Well,
first off, let me just shed some light on the
t s A Security Bin photo which actually happens in
my living room. Now there's a t s A Security
been in my home with my dad. Is this legal?
It's it's legal. You can buy it on Amazon. My
(24:30):
dad became a security been for Christmas as a joke
during the pandemic when we weren't traveling. And so any
bin you see going forward is always is always taken. Hear.
But with that said, uh, follow me on Instagram for
more insight into the security bin sagba. But what I
will say is for me a bad day, they come right.
And this also goes back to your point earlier about
(24:52):
the things that we see on social media, and it's
easy to fall into the comparison trap. And the reality
is that when I'm not feeling it, or when I'm
having a bad day, I don't should myself out of it.
And that is something that so many of us really
struggle with. It's this idea that I should be feeling happy,
I should be grateful for what's going on, I should
(25:13):
be X or Y or z. The reality is is that, yes,
I always try to come back to this place of
having grace with myself. I always try to allow myself
to experience all of the feelings, and that really is
what I come back to when I'm having a bad day.
You have to take the time to feel the feelings.
(25:34):
You have to allow yourself to experience what is truly
going on, because if you if you bury it deep
and you do not let yourself experience those feelings, feel
those feelings, then they're just gonna bubble up at some
later point in time. So give yourself that moment. You
don't work hard at something, even if it is literally
just showing up to your day. I'm not saying that
(25:55):
you need to be going out there and running a
marathon to have worked hard during your day. Even if
your hard work is just showing up in your office
and putting on a happy face. You don't work hard
for something not to go as you had hoped or
how you had expected. So allow yourself to experience that.
Understand that that moment, that bad day, that failure, it
(26:16):
isn't happening just to put you on on the defense,
to put you in a bad place. It's happening to
teach you something. So feel the feelings, take the lessons
from that failure or that hurdle, and then use them
going forward to inform yourself on how you can better
show up as the days and the hours go on.
(26:36):
So for me, I mean a bad day is really
often logging off. It's sitting at this desk. If I'm
staring into space and I realized that nothing is getting done,
I'm not moving forward in the direction that I had hoped.
The day isn't going as I had hoped. I will
literally put a hard pause on myself and be like,
remove yourself from the situation, get up, take a walk
around the block. Even if it is just one walk,
(26:59):
one talk, right, come back in and have a little reset,
have a moment where you flip the script, because oftentimes
when we are having a bad day, when we're having
a bad moment, it is so easy to indulge, unfortunately
in that negative self talk. So coming back to being
your own cheerleader, coming back to being your hype man.
(27:21):
Oftentimes that step outside, that come back that allows me
to get in the right mindset so that I can
remember who I am, how far I've come, and the amazing,
amazing progress that I've made since I started in so
many different aspects of my life. Let's come into the
fourth quarter, because you said, take a walk around the block,
and running has been become a big part of your narrative,
(27:42):
a big part of your journey as someone who when
I first started running, I called myself a baby runner
and I never run a marathon, but I'm very proud
that I've run multiple half marathons. That's my length. I
love running. I've fallen in love with running. I've continuously
fall in love with running because I love hate relationship,
and it does serve my soul right, It clears my mind,
It makes me feel a calm blish for sure. On
the days that you know that you should walk around
(28:04):
the block or that you should go for a run,
I'm not shooting all myself. I say, don't shoot on yourself.
Very similar around the should. But it's like on the
days where you had planned that I'm going to go
for a run or I know this is what I
had planned for myself. How do you flip that switch?
What do you tell yourself, like specifically, what do you
tell yourself when you you're like, I know running will
be good for me. I know it would be an outlet,
(28:24):
I'll know it would be a reset, but I don't
feel like doing it. Yeah, And there's a fine line
between having the grace with yourself to allow yourself to
just be instead of forcing yourself to move. But in
my experience, in all of the days that have led
me up to this day, most of the time, the
movement is going to be the thing that helps me
(28:45):
get unstuck. Just this morning, I hopped up onto the
treadmill to get some intervals done and I really, really
really did not feel like doing it. I did my
little warm up mile, I was ready to start my
first set of four and I was like, I don't
know if today's day. And then I came back to
where I always come back to, which is this idea,
(29:05):
just start with one. It starts with one rep, one experiment.
One try to show yourself what you are capable of,
not necessarily just on the treadmill or with running, but
how about that one rep of speaking to yourself with kindness.
How about that one rep of cleaning up this small
(29:27):
area in your apartment which reminds you that you're capable
of cleaning the whole thing. What about this one rep
of making time to call your grandmother on a Tuesday,
or to set aside a calendar mark to sit down
and have lunch with one of your parents on the weekend,
if you're so lucky to have them. It is one
rep just beginning that reminds you of who you are
(29:47):
and what you're capable of. And that is what I
tell myself time and time again. This morning, I got
on the treadmill, I did my one rep, and then
six reps later, I was happy that I started with
that one right, So believing yourself, have the faith and
know that that one rep also may not feel the
same as it did yesterday and it could feel completely
different tomorrow, But have grace with yourself to meet yourself
(30:10):
with it where you're at, and know that moving forward,
all you can do is the best you have with
what you've got there, you go and make the best
decision with the information that you know now. One rep
starting a podcast, one conversation, multiple conversations later. You just
celebrated something on Instagram. I saw, and I see your
little sign behind there. Um. But you have a space,
right was that? Is that something new? Tell me about
(30:31):
it because I know for me, my space right now
is still in the corner of my actual bedroom and
there's a hot mess, and my treadmill is right my
Palisan tread is right here. Everything is just boom. But
you have a designated space, which in New York, in
any big city, or just in any space, to have
a designated space for your work is a big accomplishment.
It's a big milestone. So tell us about that. So
(30:55):
I started this podcast a little over four years ago
in my fourth floor walk up a reast side bedroom
with a blue yetting microphone that I think cost around
a hundred and twenty dollars and now almost five hundred
episodes of the show ten seasons, six million downloads later,
I'm sitting in a studio dedicated to the podcast I'll
(31:16):
Never Forget. About maybe three years or so ago, I
was recording with a woman by the name of Lindsay Simpson.
She is one of the co founders of Almost thirty.
And I was recording with Lindsay in their studio, which
was also inside of an apartment that one of them
lived in Lindsay at the time. And so I'll never
forget walking into that space. When I had my own
small fourth floor walk up on the Upper east Side,
(31:38):
I was like, one day, I want to have a
home where why have a full bedroom dedicated to being
my studio space? And like that's how I will know that,
like this has taken me somewhere that I have really
really done this thing that I want to do. And
let me tell you last May, when I was looking
for my next apartment, ready to move out of that
fourth floor walk up on the Upper east Side, I
(31:58):
walked into this space and I knew that I was home.
So I feel truly beyond grateful, so fortunate, not only
for the opportunity to have this space, but for all
of the hard work and the know that I had
to say personally to own my no to get here
right because it didn't happen overnight, and I did have
(32:19):
a lot of those hard days that we spoke about,
But at the end, I believed in myself and I
kept persevering and I kept pushing forward, and I truly
truly manifested sitting in this chair right now having the
opportunity to do stuff like this. So I am so
thankful for this space. And it is truly like, oh
my goodness, I have some of my highest ties and
(32:39):
honestly some of my lowest lows in here. So I
just keep pushing forward every day and leading with with
a grateful heart. I love it. Well, thank you so much.
I again, I am so grateful for you. I'm so
grateful to you. I'm happy you are in my orbit.
I am proud of you. And this was a feel
good conversation. I feel like there was so much that
many of you that are listening that I've listened to
(33:00):
the end you would have some great takeaways. I feel empowered.
I'm like, I'm getting ready for this meeting. I talked
to Emily. I'm about to get out here and get it.
So thank you for always being the boss and an
example of what it means to boss up. Thank you
for sitting courtside. Oh you're thank you for motivating me.
I appreciate you, Ali, truly, it means the world. Yes,
thank you so much everyone. Thank you so much for listening.
(33:21):
That was our courtside conversation with my girl Emily. I'll
talk to you all later
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