July 13, 2022 • 38 mins
Ally talks to star chef Kwame Onwuachi on achieving success in the culinary world, his time on Top Chef, and expanding beyond his horizons.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today's podcast is sponsored by Sea Geek. If you didn't know,
see Geek is the official ticketing partner of the Brooklyns.
Whether you're trying to go to a Nets game, Liberty Game, concert,
or any other event at Barclay Center, you really only
need Sea Geek. Welcome to Courtside Conversation. I'm your girl,
(00:31):
Ali Love. After years on the Heartwood as the in
arena host for the Brooklyn Nets, It's time for me
to take a courtside. We're here with artists, athletes, and
all of our favorite people to break down the game
called life. We're getting real about the grow up and
the glow up. So let's take a seat. Let's give
(00:57):
a warm welcome to the twenty nine team. James Beard
rising Star Chef of the Year at just thirty three
years old, his list of accomplishments and accolades are already
extensive and highly impressive. This author, chef, and entrepreneur knows
how to bring the heat both in and out of
the kitchen. Let's go ahead and take a courtside with
(01:17):
Kwamie on WATCHI Bobby, thank you so much for joining
our courtside Conversation. I'm thoroughly excited to talk to you
because I met you not too long ago out of
Brooklyn game, and you know how you see people and
you're just like, well those are my people. You just
feel it right away. That's what I felt with you.
I appreciate that. I appreciate I felt the same way
(01:38):
about you, your energy, your vibrancy, um, your electric and magnetics.
So so thank you. I'm glad the feelings mutual. Perfect. Um,
So let's start it. We're gonna have a fourth quarter
here like four quarters. We're gonna start from the first quarter.
We're gonna throw it back before we're talking about all
the incredible thing that I list or things that I've
listed in the intro. Let's throw it back. I think
(01:59):
no boy is somebody without a story and a story
that goes deep. And so let's throw it to your
formative years. Um, let's talk about growing up. How did
you find your way to food? Was that always a
part of your narrative? Yeah, well, food was always a
constant in my life. I come from a long line
of chefs and restaurant tours. So I think we gotta
(02:20):
we gotta lay the groundwork. You know, you you can't
know where you're going unless you know where you came from.
And my family back in the South, you know, they
lived in Beaumont, Texas and Mama, Louisiana, And you know,
during during Jim Crow, when people weren't allowed to, you know,
go out and eat in certain restaurants, you know, or
convenience stores. Black people had juke joints in the back
(02:42):
of their crib. You know. They had convenience stores, they
had fish fries, they had barbecue shocks. And my family
in the neighborhood was always the ones that had the restaurants.
So my grandmother had a restaurant, my great grandmother had
a restaurant, and my mother had a catering company that
sh operated from the house. Now, in order to keep
the lights on, I had to pitch in in some way.
(03:03):
Um small little Brown's apartment, so you already know how
tiny that was. So I had nowhere to go when
food was being made in process, I was right there
next to my mom helping put on the show. And
what was it about food that kind of drew you in?
Because I feel like growing up, I mean I remember
every Saturday and Sunday. My mom is one of ten
kids I'm from Miami, Florida. The same thing would happen.
(03:24):
All the family would come to our house. We were
all be in kitchen cooking. But what was a big
one of many things, But what was a big part
of me growing up? For me growing up was I
would braid everybody's hair. And I love, you know, I
love when my hair looks good and fly and wear
my afro and get my brains. But I knew, like
while that was a part of something I had to
do when I was growing up and a part of
my family's rich history, it wasn't necessarily a journey that
(03:46):
I was willing to take as a profession. But holla
and shout out to all the hair styles for keeping
my hair fresh and tight? How did you know, yes, exactly,
How did you know, though food was for you? Because
there are many time we grow up with something and
we deviate from that, not in a in a bad way,
but we just said, you know, that's what we that's
what we did. Then how did you know it was
(04:07):
for them? And now I definitely tried to dB it
in the beginning, you know, I wanted to escape it.
It was like it was it was a chore that
turned into a hobby that turned into a passion. But
I never saw of it as a career. You know,
I open what. We struggled a lot growing up. You know, um,
we moved from house to house. So I was like,
why the hell would I want to do that ship?
(04:27):
You know, I I know how to do it, but
I don't want to do that. So I tried to
go in different routes, and I tried to get different professions,
but food was the only thing that kept calling me back.
And once I denounced that, like I just want to
make money. I want to do something that really fulfills me.
That's when it really stuck for me. You said something
(04:47):
about struggle, but before I get there the end of
the first quarter, when I think of your story, and
this is what drew me to you. You know, granted,
the energy, I think energy matches energy. So your energy
and your frequencies are very I which I appreciate. But
what ends up happening is that whenever we meet someone,
we try to figure out where does that person who
(05:08):
does that person remind me of? Or where's the comfort level? Right? Like,
that's what that's what that attraction is an energy And
so when I learned about you through our agent, Jordan's,
and then it got to meet you and it was
like chef. The title chef is so like up there,
it's so like out of my reach growing up because
when I you know, again throwing it back to growing up,
(05:28):
when I grew up, Yeah, I have uncle's who cooks.
They cooked in the kitchen, They created cuisines, but they
were not I won't say just cooks, but their title
was cooked. And that's, you know, the evolution of where
black folks were at the time, or just where people
were at the time too. It's like, you know, my
uncle's they created cuisines, they created recipes, but they were
just called cooks. You're a chef. How did you know
(05:51):
chef was possible? I don't think anything is impossible. That's
really where I stemmed from. I remember I was calling
myself a chef when I was eighteen years old, you know.
And then when I couldn't get a chef job, I
started my own catering company and I sold candy on
the subway, and I formulated my own and we'll see,
(06:11):
and I got I bought my own jacket and put
my own words chef qualmie on it. So I always
just like I could do whatever I really put my
mind to in life. And I think it's steming from
my upbringing. You know, I spend time in Nigeria, you know,
seeing how how the rest of the world really lives.
So being in America, it's the land of opportunities. Now,
that doesn't mean it's not going to be riddled with potholes,
(06:33):
of of of racism and and all the isms that
that that we face. But if you really want something
and you really want to put your head down and
achieve that thing, there's nothing stopping you but yourself. Nothing
stopping you for yourself. Let's step into this second quarter.
You said a keyword struggle. When we think about the
(06:54):
game of life, when we think about any sport that
we have an affinity to, there is a level of
struggle that happens. Right, It's like whether you're down a
few points or even if you're ahead, is that like,
let's how can we continue to create this gap where
winning is not only the objective, but it is the outcome.
And so when you say the word struggle, when you
said it earlier, but when you say it to yourself,
(07:15):
how do you define struggle? And maybe is there Like,
how did you define struggles then versus now or is
it the same? I think struggles then was financial burden.
It was you know, not being able to afford a meal,
you know, and and it was also like it was
something that I had no control over, you know, I
was too young. I couldn't get a job or anything.
(07:37):
I would. I would shovel snow whenever I could, but
it's still you know, it didn't make ends meet. Um.
I think struggle now is probably struggling to find your voice. Um,
and also just like do exactly what you want to do,
because like you know, we all I probably do the
same thing, you know, at the top of the year,
(07:58):
I'm like, Okay, what I want to achieve this year?
These are the things that I want to hit and
struggling to like figure out how to do that certain thing.
That's what I would define a struggle now. And it
doesn't mean it's impossible, but it's gonna be a challenge
to get there. And I think that's where the journey
is the reward comes into play. When I got my
James Beard Award, I had wrote it down like two
(08:20):
years ago, like I want to be a James Beard
award winner. I don't think I had a restaurant the time.
You know, struggle was like, Okay, I need to get
a restaurant. I need to like put myself out there
any way possible. Okay, Top Chef, let's go. I don't
care how young I am. I don't care how an
experience I am. I'm gonna do it. Um, let me
like do as many food events as possible and food competitions.
(08:40):
So so yeah, the struggle is like ship, Like, how
am I going to figure out how to do this
thing at this point in time in my life? That's
what the struggle needs to me, just so you know,
Like I said in the intro winner of the James
Bear Foundations Rising Star Chef of the Year Award in
twenty nineteen, also guest judge on Top Chef. You mentioned
Top Chef, Um, how was the being on Top Chef?
Were you nervous? Not even we saw how you were,
(09:02):
But I'm saying, like, were you nervous in terms of
It's one thing to be on the other side of
the table, but like, were you nervous when I was
a contestant? You were no when you were a judge
Because as I said, we know how it was for
you on the other side of the table, but this,
this one was a new perspective for us. When I
was a judge, I was definitely nervous. I was like,
am I saying things probably like um am I representing uh,
(09:26):
like how do I look? You know, like all those
things came into play because also like when you're judging,
you know you're judging was like four or five other people,
so like you gotta come with the comments or you know,
you're not getting any airtime. So it was it was
that learning curve um and then also like I had PTSD,
I was just across the table like four or five
(09:46):
years ago, So at any moment, I thought they were
gonna be like, we're just joking. Get up, you have
fift pevents and your time starts now, you know. So
like it, I was like, it's just a fucking hoax
until you know the that was like that's a wrap
on today. Okay, well I'm going to my hotel room now.
So so yeah, that was definitely a little nervous, but
(10:07):
but just excited also because I was able to bring
a different perspective. I had traveled in their shoes, you know,
the people that I was judging. I wasn't like a
celebrity judge that came on and it never cooked before,
or a chef that comes from a restaurant and never
been in their shoes. So I was judging from my
point of empathy um as well as you know, just
(10:27):
supreme judgment whatever you wanna call it. Oh experience, you
mean being a chef since you were younger, Yeah, you're right,
I got you on that one you mentioned. You mentioned
the struggle currently ish finding your voice, and that hit
home with me even this morning I was having I
taught this class, I talked that taught this pop ride,
(10:49):
and I get off the pop ride. And now, mind
you at Peloton, I've taught multiple pop rides. I've taught hundreds, thousands,
Like it's an understatement, right, being never almost six years
like legs of Steal climb in every mountain. But I
get off, you know, this morning, and to that point,
I equit to equate that to how many at this point,
(11:11):
how many times you've been in front of the camera,
how many interviews you've done, and then, let alone how
many dishes you create it? Right, And it's still this
interesting internal battle of finding your voice because I was
struggling with it this morning. I'm like, what in the
what the hell am I? What am I saying? Why
am I here? What do they need for me? And
do I have it anymore? I literally came home and
I was just like, these are all the things am I?
(11:31):
And I don't call it imposture syndrome because I don't
really now that. I don't believe in that phrase. But
it's just like anything that's a little too catchy, isn't
is it for me? Um? But but it's the internal
I call it just like the internal war. And you
mentioned like finding your voice, and sometimes you lose that
voice even if you're using it all the time. How
do you reclaim that narrative and shift you know, whether
(11:53):
it's internal or even that external dialogue? How do you
reclaim that narrative and and take back your voice? I
think it's doing things with intentionality, you know, making sure
you're intentional with everything that you're doing. Yeah, we all
got to get a bag every now and then. I'm
not saying that, but if you're doing these long term projects,
it's like, why are you doing this? Is this something
that you really want to do? Is there a way
(12:16):
that you can have a philanthropic arms, like you're actually
connected to this thing and driving it. Um. I've definitely
struggled with it, especially like earlier on in my career,
getting pulled in a million different directions, like you know,
everybody wants you hear and everybody wants you do this,
But at a certain point you gotta like say no
a lot so you can find your voice because people
(12:38):
will try to dislabel you. I'm pretty sure for you
as well. You know it's like, no, you're just a
peloton instructor. You know you you just do this, and
it's like, no, I could. I could fucking run the
floor at at Barclays. You know, I could have my
own podcast. I can do this, And that's how I
feel as well. It's like, don't put me in a box,
don't label me. Yes, I'm chef, but I'm not. I'm
(13:01):
Qualmie first. So that means you know, I can act.
I can come out with my own like brands. You know,
I can do creative direction. I have so much more
to give to this world because you know, life is
such a gift and we only get one of them. Yes,
and you have no polished collection. I mean, if all
you work with your hands, you have a no polished collection,
you're talking about starring in your own So the biopic,
(13:23):
right is happening? Did that already happen? Tell me about
that because I know we again, I know we had
talked about it, and it was like one of those
things where we were just like, this is happening, like,
don't forget my biopic. Don't not forget this because it's important.
It's all my life and the book notes of a
young Black chef, And I was like, I'm sorry, I
didn't want I didn't want to sound like I was
fan girly in our first interview and just list all
(13:44):
your accomplishments. But yes, you really leaning into that intersectionality
and it's challenging when you're being pulled, But when it
comes to moments like that where you're doing something new,
I need you to, like, I want you to tell
me more of just like what is that? What is
that voice in your head saying to you when you're
being pulled? How do you find the I guess, courage
to say no? And how do you find the comfort
(14:04):
in the fact that you may have said no when
you should have said yes, and especially shaping your voice,
especially to the public world. Yeah, well I think you know,
I'm a firm believer that like everything happens in its time.
So like if you said no, you were supposed to
say no, and you just gotta live with that because
you can't go back and you can't go on the past.
(14:24):
You can only like prepare for the future. So for me,
I have two voices in my head. You know, I
have my biggest critic and I also have my biggest cheerleader.
And you've got to have both. We're automatically gonna have
that inner critic. You know, everyone talks about it from
Deep Pop CHOPPERA to Oprah. You know about that inner
critic in your head. Um, but you need to remember
(14:46):
to be your biggest cheerleader. So when I'm getting pulled
in directions, you know, I try to listen to my
body and listen to my intuition. And you know, if
if it doesn't really make sense for me, then it
doesn't make sense for me. And if I'm trying to
do something and it doesn't work out, yeah, I'm human,
So like I will dwell on it for a little bit,
but then I get up and say like, Okay, what
(15:09):
else can I do now that I have this time?
And the time is the most important thing that we have,
and every single experience that we face is all a
lesson failures. Success. Everything adds to the gift of life.
So you know, what are you gonna do with yours?
You know? And that's what I say to myself. Can
you take it a step further and give us like
what is that energy? Only to say, uh, don't let
(15:33):
these motherfucker's play with Shoot? All right, yes, that's what
it says. It says you you're falling me on watchet,
you know, and you're you're an amazing person. You don't
have anything to prove. So whatever you're doing is for
yourself and you know what you what you're doing is
with intention, So like stick with that even when like
people like when there's voices coming out in your head
(15:55):
like find your inner piece, find your third eye, and
and to find yours in And that that's what my
energy leaders says to me. Today's podcast is sponsored by
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(16:18):
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your ride of your ener cheer leader. When you've created
a dish for somebody important and it could be anyone.
(16:39):
Sometimes you know it's that aunt who has that rare taste,
but and you don't cook for them, and you know
she always has something to say um. Or it's some
type of placement and some type of capacity, a competition
like top chef. What is that energy leader saying after
you finish that dish, dish is done, and this person
is about to taste it and give some feedback, you know,
whether it's solicited or unsolicited. You know this person or
(16:59):
the people are about to give you some feedback. What
is that inner cheer leader or even that inner critics
saying to you at that time, well, at that time,
like if it is a competition style of thing, like
I already know what's wrong with the dish before anyone
even needs it, because you know you're in a time
constraint and certain times you can't fix things. Certain times
things and work out for you. So like most times,
like I know, and I know when my ship is
(17:21):
like really really good or when it produced some work,
and I know to like not take advice from the
auntie that it is like out of her mind. Like
I've had an come into my restaurant one time in
order to salmon and we serve our salmon medium because
salmon had well done is just like overcooked. This is
(17:41):
not as good unless you specifi So you know, we
served it medium, and she called the server and said
how disgusting this was. She's a microbiologist and there's so
many pathogens and it's like, first of all, you ain't
no damn microbiologists, Like I know what you are, and
you would have said something irregardless of the facts or
regardless of the facts. So um, so yeah, you know
(18:03):
how to I think as a professional, like you know
how to take unsolicited unsolicited advice and use it to
your benefit or just like discarded and throw it away.
I love. She was like, this is just like no,
no, no no, no, listen. This is how it's supposed to
This is how supposed to taste this is how supposed
to taste. Um, let's let's jump in and switch gears
to half time. We're gonna move back into those game
(18:25):
time moments another quarter, but half time where we get
a little fun. What is one of your biggest pet peeves?
For me, It's like when someone clips their nails in public,
Like you're on the plane and some homie busses out
like a nail clipper and just start yeah, And I'm like,
what are we doing right now? What do we what's
on our mind? That's that's also a pet people mind
for sure. Even the sound of it clipping is like
it's jarring. UM. I don't like people that are late, honestly,
(18:49):
That really like sets me, especially without like letting you
know in advance. UM. I hate when kitchens are not clean.
Also like very clean. Um, I'm a huge stickler for that. Um.
People chewing with their mouths open. That's a real big
pet peeve for me. Are you someone who just let
(19:13):
that go and just like internally like cringe or you're
just like, hey, by the way, I can hear you.
Are you like that caller outer or call or inner?
It depends on the moment. I think you gotta know,
you gotta pick and choose your placement. But I'm definitely
a caller outer kind of person, Like I'll call you out, um,
But if you're like in my vicinity and I don't
(19:33):
know you, like I don't own this space, it would
just like annoy me. So oh see, I would mimic you.
I am that person. If I don't know you and
I'm in the place, I'd be like, like, I really
do mimic people. I mimic. It's a skill set to
because you learn about it when you're growing up in
your career. It's like a great way to own a
room is if you mimic the match, the energy, or
(19:53):
mimical person, especially you know that you're talking to. It's
a form of respect in many cultures, but also like
it's a sign of like, you know, being prepared and
owning the room. And so I'll take that a step
further and just like be annoying with it. Anybody swing
on you yet swing on me? No, No one has
ever swing swung towards or on me. Um, because I
(20:17):
don't I don't think. I don't think I give them
not to say I'm the baddest, but I ain't, but
I am like my energy leader just said yes, yes, yeah,
it's not without reason. And then also like I think
mimicking behavior isn't just it doesn't take it to that
that place where a point of contention. It's more like
if they notice I start laughing, and they start laughing
(20:38):
because they know I'm just saying I know what you know,
and you do what you know you don't want to do,
so people do it. So I feel like people do
it to me. I don't get upset if someone had
to mimic you, what would they do? They mimic my energy.
Everyone always says how excited I am. Like, I get
excitable like about things, right, And so anytime I'll say
(20:58):
I'm like hi, they're like, oh, like they do this
like high pitched voice, and I get what they're trying
to say. At the same time, one, I appreciate the energy,
but too, I'm not at that level. And so yeah,
over the years I've had to do I've had to
do that. I did a um an interview with an
artist and with baby Face, and you know, one of
the things that I had to be mindful of the
(21:21):
energy is going to be different when his music is already,
so chill He's so dope and he's an icon, and
so I need to chill out. And of course let
him as the pay homage and respect and let him
set the energy in the room and follow that. So
there are spaces that I will own and be, you know,
have my high energy and high vibrations and I and
(21:43):
I gets, you know, I get some some stuff back
for that. Okay, all right, you know, not bad at that,
not mad at that. What's a non negotiable for you?
I know you said you don't like people being late,
You like a clean kitchen, But when it comes to
maybe even your personal life, what is a non negotiable
where you're just like, no, this is a this is
a straight up I'll pass mm hmm. Non negotiable? Lying?
(22:10):
Oh yeah, yeah, I would say that would be the one.
I would say. There's a lot of them that come
up like that you're not really prepared for and so
you're like, oh, hell no, like I'm out of here.
But like, lying definitely is one. I literally I literally
choked on my water when you said lying, and I
was like I was trying to say me too, me too,
(22:30):
um yelling at me. I would say like raising your voice.
To me, it's a non negotiable, Like we're not even
continuing conversation at that point. Do you do you just
walk out? Do you just like leave someone if someone else,
or do you do you match them or do you leave?
It depends. It depends on the conversation. But normally it's
(22:50):
like this conversation, I'll just be like, why are you yelling?
Lower your voice, and then I'll just make them like
look really stupid, just to like and then like that's
say and I don't understand. I'm like, why are you yelling?
Like I don't understand, And I'm like you just you
look stupid. Now now I won the whole argument. Don't
(23:11):
get dirty with pigs. There's always gonn no difference. You know,
when it comes to a non negotiable for me, I
think it's preparedness. Um, it's on both sides, so non negotiable.
To the standard that I hold myself is that I'm
always prepared. I will step into any conversation prepared to
some capacity, and most times to the extreme degree. I
think being prepared is a form of being thoughtful and
(23:34):
which extends itself to to a form of respecting someone's time,
and I think time is your most valuable lug. It's
not even a com outy. It's a luxury in life
that some people don't have a lot of. And we
don't know that until we don't know that. And so
for me, it's like my love language is being prepared
to a non negotiable on my end when I show
up is to be prepared, and then in terms of
(23:55):
being on the reciprocating and nonnegotiable for me, it's again
similarly someone who is a strategical, thoughtful, like if you
didn't come up, if you didn't think about the conversation
that we're about to have before you're we're having it,
it's a note. For me, it's an i'll pass take.
Let's take a beat, you come back with some thoughts.
I want you to feel the way you feel. I
want you to be able to articulate the way you feel.
I want you to feel empowered to step in front
(24:16):
of anyone. And so I make that's a non negotiable
for me because that's what I preached, Like empower it
means you know what you feel. So if you don't
know what you feel or what you think about, what
we're going to talk about I want you to go
and get that. Go get that and come back and
I'll be I'll make time. I don't mind, you know
what I mean. So it's a little bit of that.
What's your two more before we get back into the
(24:37):
game time moments? Um, what's your favorite thing to cook?
Not favorite thing to eat, because that's next. What's your
favorite thing to cook? Uh? My favorite thing to cook
is probably just like stay just like a really good
seared rip boat and ripby Um, just season immacculately cooked perfectly,
(25:00):
the baste it in butter the whole time. Like, that's
probably my favorite thing to cook. And it doesn't get
on a plate and just I just eat it off
the cut and bore. What what's the seasoning? Like? What's
because I feel I don't know, maybe this should be
the question, and maybe this doesn't even make the cut,
but what makes it? What makes a good? Like I
(25:21):
have seake and I'm no, I'm know you so my
tapes buds aren't refined. I have a steak and you're like, oh,
it's just a steak. And then I have a seak
and I'm like, oh, that's a steak and I get
there's different in cuts, but even I could have a
bone in ribby that's juicy marbleie like all the stuff
that they tell you at the restaurant. But you're like, oh,
that's just a steak, and then you're like, oh, that's
the sake. Yeah, I mean the cut is important, um,
(25:43):
like the breed of cattle is important, like down to that,
and then the it's honestly the way you cook it,
because like you can just put salt and pepper on
a steak and baste it in butter with rosemary, thyme
and garlic and just like crush the garlic, but leave
the skin on so and burn when it's cooking in
the butter. I add a spice blend that's been in
(26:04):
my family for a while. It's called our house spice.
My family is Creole, so it's like a Creole seasoning
essentially that we put but we make it in the
house and we put it on the steak liberally, like
lots of it on there, so it forms a nice crust. Um.
So yeah, I mean a nice you know, one and
a half inch two inch boning ribby. Get your pan
really hot. You need to make sure your steak comes
(26:25):
to room temperature before you even cook it, so it
doesn't like seize up um from the heat. But there's
a couple of tricks to make it like even more
tender and delicious. But but yeah, it's really cooking it.
Make sure you're basing it in butter, make sure you're
like finishing in the oven until you have the radiant
heat so it's not that direct heat from the pan
the whole time. So um. So yeah, just a steak.
(26:45):
I love I love cooking steak and eating stead You
just got like a massive class of coming on Quartet Conversation.
You could probably end the podcast now and go find
yourself a stuff to make it and give us feedback.
I mean, you got more bang for your bug right there.
That was just that was a whole moment. So thank you.
Last question and maybe you can say it's a stake,
but if there's what's your favorite thing to eat? My
(27:06):
favorite thing to eat is probably my mom's gumbo or
chicken wings and pork fried rice from the Chinese takeoff spot.
So stop being the same person. Thank you very much.
I'd like you to exit. Are you serious? I love
some chicken wings and pork rice. That's it. That is
(27:26):
literally i'm having a bad day, I get that. If
if I'm having a good day, I get that. And
it's got to be from New York, though it can't
be from like any other state. Um, from the East Coast.
I'll give the East Coast some Chinese takeout love. But
but it's just so comforting, Like the chicken wings are
like their season perfectly. They're crunchy. You know. You put
(27:47):
some duck sauce on it, if they have some other
sweet sauce on it, it's it's all good. So I'm
glad we have the same taste. You ever refined palette.
You don't give yourself? Oh thank you, thank you. I
will I will say um. According to my husband, I
am not a great cook, although growing up I was
thought of as being a good cook. I guess over
time I've lost that kind of touch. And he calls
(28:08):
me like that one pot wonder because I got time.
I just put everything in a pot and I just
especially in a soap cooker, and I'm like boom, I'm done.
But one day, one day, I'm gonna make this this
stake one day when I have more time. Time is
a luxury. I cannot additional time as a luxury I
can't afford right now, which I ain't complaining into that.
We'll get there. We'll get there, all right. I have
you for a few more minutes. So let's up into
(28:29):
the third quarter right away. Let's talk about it game
time moments once again. Metric for success. I mean, when
you think about your career, what are moment, moments or
a moment where you're just like, yo, I made it.
I feel successful. And I know that's a passing. I'm
not saying like the end close close to book. I
know there's more to the story. But has there ever
been a moment or moments where you're just like, oh
my gosh, I made it. I've established a metric for success.
(28:51):
I execute the strategy and I'm here. That's such a
hard question to answer because I never want to feel
like I made it. There's levels to this ship, you know.
And I've hung out with people that like, um, like
their houses have their own zip code, you know what
I mean, So like so like the maple Uh, I'm
(29:17):
just kidding out, but it's like, yeah, it's hard to
say you've made it. I think there's moments that are
like whoa this ship is really crazy. Like I think
when I cook for the Gold party, you know, for
jay z Um and you know I did that whole
Oscars party for him. Um. That was like a moment
when I when I hosted the g because I won
(29:38):
the James Beard Awards before and then I hosted James
Beard Awards, which I was like, holy sh it, like
this is they chose me? You know, I'm I'm speaking
to all my peers. Um. So yeah, I mean I
think I think a couple of those moments, but I
still never feel like I've made it, Like I never
want to feel that way. I guess making it for
(29:59):
me would be like having a family, like having like
having a legacy, like kids. I think at that moment,
I'll be like I made it, because then all this
other stuff is very arbitrary. But like having someone that's
extremely tangible that I can raise to like give back
to the world, then I would feel like I've made it.
How many kids, if you could have it your way,
(30:20):
how many kids with I want? Like three or four?
I want. I definitely want to set of twins and
then I'm one another like two little rug wraps running
around to you. Wow, that's a lot of kids. I'm
just saying, you know, I need my own zip code.
That's That's what I'm saying. I got, I got, I have,
I have a destination, that's what that's. Those are goals. Um,
(30:45):
I don't know about the four kids unless they come in.
There's like a two set of twins situation that now
that I'm always for a good deal, you know. I
sometimes I talk to myself and I'm like, you cannot
not buy that, Like you don't need it, but it's
on such a good sale. That's such a good deal. Yeah,
I just want to pay my respect to people that
recognize that sale. Let me put out a good sale,
and I'm like, I see you, I'm gonna buy it,
(31:06):
even though I don't need it. I feel like that
way with kids, Like if I could get a two
for four, what I mean, that's a fifty percent discount,
if the present discount. If it's fifty percent off, you
have to buy it discount you're gonna pay in the
back end. Yes, it's you're just gonna it's a discount.
Of parents with twins are like, you don't know what
(31:29):
you're talking about. Get like by They're like, you don't
know what you're talking about. Yes, all right, let's gratitude
got to is a huge part of um what we
do just in general. I think I was talking to
someone else on the podcast, like lands Fresh and and
it's been quite amazing to live in New York City,
or to even live in l a or like you know,
(31:49):
in Austin and Miami, Chicago, live in these cities or
London and create and not be from there first off,
not really be from that city, moved there and create
not only just a network, a professional network, but to
create an extension of your family in some capacity. People
you can call or tap in to say real, recognize
is real? I want to talk to my podcast cast quamie,
(32:11):
or like let's hang out every day, or like how
can I better service you? Or how can I support you?
Show up to your opening and all these things. And
I think one of the things that has happened to
when I look around and I am so grateful for,
is that I've been able to do that young girl
for Miami moved in by herself, you know, at seventeen
years old. A couple weeks, few years later, I'm I'm here,
I'm talking to you. Someone like you's done so much
(32:33):
and so it I'm so grateful for these moments that
when we talk about it, and I think oftentimes we
forget about gratitude when we think about the game. You know,
sometimes the biggest play comes from the greatest assists or
the people who pass us the ball right, and so
it can you recognize or take this time if you
don't mind recognizing a person or people that have influenced
(32:55):
your career or just passed through the ball at the
right time for you for you to score. Yeah, you know,
I definitely recognize, um, probably my team more than anything
else that has like because it's like when you lead
a team, you're pretty much a charismatic speaker of hope.
Like there's no real proof of anything that's gonna happen.
(33:17):
You're like, Okay, we're gonna move to d C. We're
gonna open this restaurants. It's gonna be great. Uh, we're
gonna have chairs and take like there's nothing here now
but just picture to your head, you know, and slowly
but shortly things start moving in. They start floating. In
my mind, it's like some Harry Potter ship, Like they're
just floating in and coming in, you know, Um. And
that's how it looks like in my brain and their brain,
(33:37):
it's like already established, right because the way that I'm
talking about, how I'm speaking, So without them, I wouldn't
be here, you know, Like I've had, you know, influential
people passing me the rock and everything, and that's cool
and everything, but those moments aren't like I can't go
to another person and what I can and say, like
I just cook for jay Z, you know, then I
(33:59):
get to the next level. Well it's not really that that,
that's not really how it happened. How it happens is
my team is there for me. So when I did
say I want to do my first restaurant and it
failed miserably, and then I said, wait, give me another chance.
We're gonna do another restaurant, and then it succeeded, it
was I was only able to get there because of
the people that that lift me up. So I just
want to show gratitude to my team, to anybody who
(34:20):
has like it worked for me. Um, the young me,
naive me, you know, me that was not prepared to
be the leader that I am today. Um, So that's
that's my gratitude moment, all right, we're gonna this this
game is is, of course, you know, gonna go and
finish in the sense because you are. The narrative you're
(34:41):
creating is still being written and there's so much more
to look forward to. Um. But as we step into
this fourth quarter, into kind of the fat final part
of our conversation court side, one of the things that
I recognize is that you early on, like many of
the folks that I talked to, including myself and many
of my close friends, you chose me to put yourself
in the public eye at a very young age. And
(35:04):
along with that comes great responsibility, hardship. Yeah, and I
would say a unique and you know Liam Neeson style,
a unique set of skills to perform a job that
not many people can do because you do it well.
Many people can try to do it, but when you
do it, such as yourself, for me, you do it well.
(35:25):
Talk me through this choice and and and of being
a public person. And do you have I don't want
to use the word regrets, but do you have any
second thoughts on how you would have? And I know
you can't go back, and you said don't, you don't
go back to change the past, But do you have
any thoughts from the past that influences what's next for you. Yeah, well,
you know, for me, I love this life. Like as
(35:47):
a kid I was, I was in plays. I was
a lead, you know. I would get up on my
desk and dance. I was a class clown. If the
teacher walked out for a second and I go through
the desk and pull out her glasses and put them
on and and it's aid her, you know. So like
I felt like I was always a performer of some sorts. Um,
So it was a natural like step for me. I
(36:08):
think there's there's a huge responsibility, and I think there's
also a lot that the public doesn't understand that, like
it's always sometimes when you see this on the street,
like we're not always on, like we may have just
had a bad day or something. And I think it's
it's very important to just be kind in general. Um.
And I'd say that because like recently I met someone
(36:30):
that said they had met me like two years ago,
and they're like, oh, I thought you were a dick.
And I was like what, like why they were like,
because like I said high to you, and you just
like said like hey and and walked away and I
was like, where it was this there? Like it was
today's show. I was like, what time was it there?
Like five am? I was like I was tired, man,
what I was saving my energy for the camera, Like
(36:50):
I was not trying to do these bursts of energy
to every single person that I met. And we had
a really great night. So then we became like super cool.
But that's just a small snapshot of like someone in
a public eye that what they have to deal with
on on a daily basis. UM. But it's but what's
great power comes great responsibility, and it's something that we
have to think about and like take a moment to
(37:12):
just truly connect with someone and then transition out of
that and also speak up and say like hey man,
I'm tired as hell. It's great me to you. I'm
just gonna walk over here, you know. So it's UM,
I'm still learning. I wouldn't have it any other way though.
I truly enjoy it because I think it also gives
UM a platform to do things, you know, to be philanthropic,
(37:35):
to give back, to also give opportunities to mentor people
to open doors for others so you know, they can
have an easier path at you know what they're trying
to obtain based off our struggles. Like jay Z, you know,
I sold drugs, so hopefully you want to go through that,
you know what I mean. So yeah, well, I will
(37:57):
say I thank you once again for sharing your in side,
digging a little deeper in your story. I hope our
path continues to cross criss cross all the time. Big,
big supporter of what you're doing and what you continue
to do. And I really appreciate your time stepping us
into this courtside conversation and taking us into the storytelling
that is your life. Qualmie, thank you so much. Alright, alright, y'all,
(38:23):
y'all heard it here, Chef Kwamie. I watch you just
gave us the low down courtside conversation stack. Yeah,
Today's podcast is sponsored by Sea Geek. If you didn't know,
see Geek is the official ticketing partner of the Brooklyns.
Whether you're trying to go to a Nets game, Liberty Game, concert,
or any other event at Barclay Center, you really only
need Sea Geek. Welcome to Courtside Conversation. I'm your girl,
(00:31):
Ali Love. After years on the Heartwood as the in
arena host for the Brooklyn Nets, It's time for me
to take a courtside. We're here with artists, athletes, and
all of our favorite people to break down the game
called life. We're getting real about the grow up and
the glow up. So let's take a seat. Let's give
(00:57):
a warm welcome to the twenty nine team. James Beard
rising Star Chef of the Year at just thirty three
years old, his list of accomplishments and accolades are already
extensive and highly impressive. This author, chef, and entrepreneur knows
how to bring the heat both in and out of
the kitchen. Let's go ahead and take a courtside with
(01:17):
Kwamie on WATCHI Bobby, thank you so much for joining
our courtside Conversation. I'm thoroughly excited to talk to you
because I met you not too long ago out of
Brooklyn game, and you know how you see people and
you're just like, well those are my people. You just
feel it right away. That's what I felt with you.
I appreciate that. I appreciate I felt the same way
(01:38):
about you, your energy, your vibrancy, um, your electric and magnetics.
So so thank you. I'm glad the feelings mutual. Perfect. Um,
So let's start it. We're gonna have a fourth quarter
here like four quarters. We're gonna start from the first quarter.
We're gonna throw it back before we're talking about all
the incredible thing that I list or things that I've
listed in the intro. Let's throw it back. I think
(01:59):
no boy is somebody without a story and a story
that goes deep. And so let's throw it to your
formative years. Um, let's talk about growing up. How did
you find your way to food? Was that always a
part of your narrative? Yeah, well, food was always a
constant in my life. I come from a long line
of chefs and restaurant tours. So I think we gotta
(02:20):
we gotta lay the groundwork. You know, you you can't
know where you're going unless you know where you came from.
And my family back in the South, you know, they
lived in Beaumont, Texas and Mama, Louisiana, And you know,
during during Jim Crow, when people weren't allowed to, you know,
go out and eat in certain restaurants, you know, or
convenience stores. Black people had juke joints in the back
(02:42):
of their crib. You know. They had convenience stores, they
had fish fries, they had barbecue shocks. And my family
in the neighborhood was always the ones that had the restaurants.
So my grandmother had a restaurant, my great grandmother had
a restaurant, and my mother had a catering company that
sh operated from the house. Now, in order to keep
the lights on, I had to pitch in in some way.
(03:03):
Um small little Brown's apartment, so you already know how
tiny that was. So I had nowhere to go when
food was being made in process, I was right there
next to my mom helping put on the show. And
what was it about food that kind of drew you in?
Because I feel like growing up, I mean I remember
every Saturday and Sunday. My mom is one of ten
kids I'm from Miami, Florida. The same thing would happen.
(03:24):
All the family would come to our house. We were
all be in kitchen cooking. But what was a big
one of many things, But what was a big part
of me growing up? For me growing up was I
would braid everybody's hair. And I love, you know, I
love when my hair looks good and fly and wear
my afro and get my brains. But I knew, like
while that was a part of something I had to
do when I was growing up and a part of
my family's rich history, it wasn't necessarily a journey that
(03:46):
I was willing to take as a profession. But holla
and shout out to all the hair styles for keeping
my hair fresh and tight? How did you know, yes, exactly,
How did you know, though food was for you? Because
there are many time we grow up with something and
we deviate from that, not in a in a bad way,
but we just said, you know, that's what we that's
what we did. Then how did you know it was
(04:07):
for them? And now I definitely tried to dB it
in the beginning, you know, I wanted to escape it.
It was like it was it was a chore that
turned into a hobby that turned into a passion. But
I never saw of it as a career. You know,
I open what. We struggled a lot growing up. You know, um,
we moved from house to house. So I was like,
why the hell would I want to do that ship?
(04:27):
You know, I I know how to do it, but
I don't want to do that. So I tried to
go in different routes, and I tried to get different professions,
but food was the only thing that kept calling me back.
And once I denounced that, like I just want to
make money. I want to do something that really fulfills me.
That's when it really stuck for me. You said something
(04:47):
about struggle, but before I get there the end of
the first quarter, when I think of your story, and
this is what drew me to you. You know, granted,
the energy, I think energy matches energy. So your energy
and your frequencies are very I which I appreciate. But
what ends up happening is that whenever we meet someone,
we try to figure out where does that person who
(05:08):
does that person remind me of? Or where's the comfort level? Right? Like,
that's what that's what that attraction is an energy And
so when I learned about you through our agent, Jordan's,
and then it got to meet you and it was
like chef. The title chef is so like up there,
it's so like out of my reach growing up because
when I you know, again throwing it back to growing up,
(05:28):
when I grew up, Yeah, I have uncle's who cooks.
They cooked in the kitchen, They created cuisines, but they
were not I won't say just cooks, but their title
was cooked. And that's, you know, the evolution of where
black folks were at the time, or just where people
were at the time too. It's like, you know, my
uncle's they created cuisines, they created recipes, but they were
just called cooks. You're a chef. How did you know
(05:51):
chef was possible? I don't think anything is impossible. That's
really where I stemmed from. I remember I was calling
myself a chef when I was eighteen years old, you know.
And then when I couldn't get a chef job, I
started my own catering company and I sold candy on
the subway, and I formulated my own and we'll see,
(06:11):
and I got I bought my own jacket and put
my own words chef qualmie on it. So I always
just like I could do whatever I really put my
mind to in life. And I think it's steming from
my upbringing. You know, I spend time in Nigeria, you know,
seeing how how the rest of the world really lives.
So being in America, it's the land of opportunities. Now,
that doesn't mean it's not going to be riddled with potholes,
(06:33):
of of of racism and and all the isms that
that that we face. But if you really want something
and you really want to put your head down and
achieve that thing, there's nothing stopping you but yourself. Nothing
stopping you for yourself. Let's step into this second quarter.
You said a keyword struggle. When we think about the
(06:54):
game of life, when we think about any sport that
we have an affinity to, there is a level of
struggle that happens. Right, It's like whether you're down a
few points or even if you're ahead, is that like,
let's how can we continue to create this gap where
winning is not only the objective, but it is the outcome.
And so when you say the word struggle, when you
said it earlier, but when you say it to yourself,
(07:15):
how do you define struggle? And maybe is there Like,
how did you define struggles then versus now or is
it the same? I think struggles then was financial burden.
It was you know, not being able to afford a meal,
you know, and and it was also like it was
something that I had no control over, you know, I
was too young. I couldn't get a job or anything.
(07:37):
I would. I would shovel snow whenever I could, but
it's still you know, it didn't make ends meet. Um.
I think struggle now is probably struggling to find your voice. Um,
and also just like do exactly what you want to do,
because like you know, we all I probably do the
same thing, you know, at the top of the year,
(07:58):
I'm like, Okay, what I want to achieve this year?
These are the things that I want to hit and
struggling to like figure out how to do that certain thing.
That's what I would define a struggle now. And it
doesn't mean it's impossible, but it's gonna be a challenge
to get there. And I think that's where the journey
is the reward comes into play. When I got my
James Beard Award, I had wrote it down like two
(08:20):
years ago, like I want to be a James Beard
award winner. I don't think I had a restaurant the time.
You know, struggle was like, Okay, I need to get
a restaurant. I need to like put myself out there
any way possible. Okay, Top Chef, let's go. I don't
care how young I am. I don't care how an
experience I am. I'm gonna do it. Um, let me
like do as many food events as possible and food competitions.
(08:40):
So so yeah, the struggle is like ship, Like, how
am I going to figure out how to do this
thing at this point in time in my life? That's
what the struggle needs to me, just so you know,
Like I said in the intro winner of the James
Bear Foundations Rising Star Chef of the Year Award in
twenty nineteen, also guest judge on Top Chef. You mentioned
Top Chef, Um, how was the being on Top Chef?
Were you nervous? Not even we saw how you were,
(09:02):
But I'm saying, like, were you nervous in terms of
It's one thing to be on the other side of
the table, but like, were you nervous when I was
a contestant? You were no when you were a judge
Because as I said, we know how it was for
you on the other side of the table, but this,
this one was a new perspective for us. When I
was a judge, I was definitely nervous. I was like,
am I saying things probably like um am I representing uh,
(09:26):
like how do I look? You know, like all those
things came into play because also like when you're judging,
you know you're judging was like four or five other people,
so like you gotta come with the comments or you know,
you're not getting any airtime. So it was it was
that learning curve um and then also like I had PTSD,
I was just across the table like four or five
(09:46):
years ago, So at any moment, I thought they were
gonna be like, we're just joking. Get up, you have
fift pevents and your time starts now, you know. So
like it, I was like, it's just a fucking hoax
until you know the that was like that's a wrap
on today. Okay, well I'm going to my hotel room now.
So so yeah, that was definitely a little nervous, but
(10:07):
but just excited also because I was able to bring
a different perspective. I had traveled in their shoes, you know,
the people that I was judging. I wasn't like a
celebrity judge that came on and it never cooked before,
or a chef that comes from a restaurant and never
been in their shoes. So I was judging from my
point of empathy um as well as you know, just
(10:27):
supreme judgment whatever you wanna call it. Oh experience, you
mean being a chef since you were younger, Yeah, you're right,
I got you on that one you mentioned. You mentioned
the struggle currently ish finding your voice, and that hit
home with me even this morning I was having I
taught this class, I talked that taught this pop ride,
(10:49):
and I get off the pop ride. And now, mind
you at Peloton, I've taught multiple pop rides. I've taught hundreds, thousands,
Like it's an understatement, right, being never almost six years
like legs of Steal climb in every mountain. But I
get off, you know, this morning, and to that point,
I equit to equate that to how many at this point,
(11:11):
how many times you've been in front of the camera,
how many interviews you've done, and then, let alone how
many dishes you create it? Right, And it's still this
interesting internal battle of finding your voice because I was
struggling with it this morning. I'm like, what in the
what the hell am I? What am I saying? Why
am I here? What do they need for me? And
do I have it anymore? I literally came home and
I was just like, these are all the things am I?
(11:31):
And I don't call it imposture syndrome because I don't
really now that. I don't believe in that phrase. But
it's just like anything that's a little too catchy, isn't
is it for me? Um? But but it's the internal
I call it just like the internal war. And you
mentioned like finding your voice, and sometimes you lose that
voice even if you're using it all the time. How
do you reclaim that narrative and shift you know, whether
(11:53):
it's internal or even that external dialogue? How do you
reclaim that narrative and and take back your voice? I
think it's doing things with intentionality, you know, making sure
you're intentional with everything that you're doing. Yeah, we all
got to get a bag every now and then. I'm
not saying that, but if you're doing these long term projects,
it's like, why are you doing this? Is this something
that you really want to do? Is there a way
(12:16):
that you can have a philanthropic arms, like you're actually
connected to this thing and driving it. Um. I've definitely
struggled with it, especially like earlier on in my career,
getting pulled in a million different directions, like you know,
everybody wants you hear and everybody wants you do this,
But at a certain point you gotta like say no
a lot so you can find your voice because people
(12:38):
will try to dislabel you. I'm pretty sure for you
as well. You know it's like, no, you're just a
peloton instructor. You know you you just do this, and
it's like, no, I could. I could fucking run the
floor at at Barclays. You know, I could have my
own podcast. I can do this, And that's how I
feel as well. It's like, don't put me in a box,
don't label me. Yes, I'm chef, but I'm not. I'm
(13:01):
Qualmie first. So that means you know, I can act.
I can come out with my own like brands. You know,
I can do creative direction. I have so much more
to give to this world because you know, life is
such a gift and we only get one of them. Yes,
and you have no polished collection. I mean, if all
you work with your hands, you have a no polished collection,
you're talking about starring in your own So the biopic,
(13:23):
right is happening? Did that already happen? Tell me about
that because I know we again, I know we had
talked about it, and it was like one of those
things where we were just like, this is happening, like,
don't forget my biopic. Don't not forget this because it's important.
It's all my life and the book notes of a
young Black chef, And I was like, I'm sorry, I
didn't want I didn't want to sound like I was
fan girly in our first interview and just list all
(13:44):
your accomplishments. But yes, you really leaning into that intersectionality
and it's challenging when you're being pulled, But when it
comes to moments like that where you're doing something new,
I need you to, like, I want you to tell
me more of just like what is that? What is
that voice in your head saying to you when you're
being pulled? How do you find the I guess, courage
to say no? And how do you find the comfort
(14:04):
in the fact that you may have said no when
you should have said yes, and especially shaping your voice,
especially to the public world. Yeah, well I think you know,
I'm a firm believer that like everything happens in its time.
So like if you said no, you were supposed to
say no, and you just gotta live with that because
you can't go back and you can't go on the past.
(14:24):
You can only like prepare for the future. So for me,
I have two voices in my head. You know, I
have my biggest critic and I also have my biggest cheerleader.
And you've got to have both. We're automatically gonna have
that inner critic. You know, everyone talks about it from
Deep Pop CHOPPERA to Oprah. You know about that inner
critic in your head. Um, but you need to remember
(14:46):
to be your biggest cheerleader. So when I'm getting pulled
in directions, you know, I try to listen to my
body and listen to my intuition. And you know, if
if it doesn't really make sense for me, then it
doesn't make sense for me. And if I'm trying to
do something and it doesn't work out, yeah, I'm human,
So like I will dwell on it for a little bit,
but then I get up and say like, Okay, what
(15:09):
else can I do now that I have this time?
And the time is the most important thing that we have,
and every single experience that we face is all a
lesson failures. Success. Everything adds to the gift of life.
So you know, what are you gonna do with yours?
You know? And that's what I say to myself. Can
you take it a step further and give us like
what is that energy? Only to say, uh, don't let
(15:33):
these motherfucker's play with Shoot? All right, yes, that's what
it says. It says you you're falling me on watchet,
you know, and you're you're an amazing person. You don't
have anything to prove. So whatever you're doing is for
yourself and you know what you what you're doing is
with intention, So like stick with that even when like
people like when there's voices coming out in your head
(15:55):
like find your inner piece, find your third eye, and
and to find yours in And that that's what my
energy leaders says to me. Today's podcast is sponsored by
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your ride of your ener cheer leader. When you've created
a dish for somebody important and it could be anyone.
(16:39):
Sometimes you know it's that aunt who has that rare taste,
but and you don't cook for them, and you know
she always has something to say um. Or it's some
type of placement and some type of capacity, a competition
like top chef. What is that energy leader saying after
you finish that dish, dish is done, and this person
is about to taste it and give some feedback, you know,
whether it's solicited or unsolicited. You know this person or
(16:59):
the people are about to give you some feedback. What
is that inner cheer leader or even that inner critics
saying to you at that time, well, at that time,
like if it is a competition style of thing, like
I already know what's wrong with the dish before anyone
even needs it, because you know you're in a time
constraint and certain times you can't fix things. Certain times
things and work out for you. So like most times,
like I know, and I know when my ship is
(17:21):
like really really good or when it produced some work,
and I know to like not take advice from the
auntie that it is like out of her mind. Like
I've had an come into my restaurant one time in
order to salmon and we serve our salmon medium because
salmon had well done is just like overcooked. This is
(17:41):
not as good unless you specifi So you know, we
served it medium, and she called the server and said
how disgusting this was. She's a microbiologist and there's so
many pathogens and it's like, first of all, you ain't
no damn microbiologists, Like I know what you are, and
you would have said something irregardless of the facts or
regardless of the facts. So um, so yeah, you know
(18:03):
how to I think as a professional, like you know
how to take unsolicited unsolicited advice and use it to
your benefit or just like discarded and throw it away.
I love. She was like, this is just like no,
no, no no, no, listen. This is how it's supposed to
This is how supposed to taste this is how supposed
to taste. Um, let's let's jump in and switch gears
to half time. We're gonna move back into those game
(18:25):
time moments another quarter, but half time where we get
a little fun. What is one of your biggest pet peeves?
For me, It's like when someone clips their nails in public,
Like you're on the plane and some homie busses out
like a nail clipper and just start yeah, And I'm like,
what are we doing right now? What do we what's
on our mind? That's that's also a pet people mind
for sure. Even the sound of it clipping is like
it's jarring. UM. I don't like people that are late, honestly,
(18:49):
That really like sets me, especially without like letting you
know in advance. UM. I hate when kitchens are not clean.
Also like very clean. Um, I'm a huge stickler for that. Um.
People chewing with their mouths open. That's a real big
pet peeve for me. Are you someone who just let
(19:13):
that go and just like internally like cringe or you're
just like, hey, by the way, I can hear you.
Are you like that caller outer or call or inner?
It depends on the moment. I think you gotta know,
you gotta pick and choose your placement. But I'm definitely
a caller outer kind of person, Like I'll call you out, um,
But if you're like in my vicinity and I don't
(19:33):
know you, like I don't own this space, it would
just like annoy me. So oh see, I would mimic you.
I am that person. If I don't know you and
I'm in the place, I'd be like, like, I really
do mimic people. I mimic. It's a skill set to
because you learn about it when you're growing up in
your career. It's like a great way to own a
room is if you mimic the match, the energy, or
(19:53):
mimical person, especially you know that you're talking to. It's
a form of respect in many cultures, but also like
it's a sign of like, you know, being prepared and
owning the room. And so I'll take that a step
further and just like be annoying with it. Anybody swing
on you yet swing on me? No, No one has
ever swing swung towards or on me. Um, because I
(20:17):
don't I don't think. I don't think I give them
not to say I'm the baddest, but I ain't, but
I am like my energy leader just said yes, yes, yeah,
it's not without reason. And then also like I think
mimicking behavior isn't just it doesn't take it to that
that place where a point of contention. It's more like
if they notice I start laughing, and they start laughing
(20:38):
because they know I'm just saying I know what you know,
and you do what you know you don't want to do,
so people do it. So I feel like people do
it to me. I don't get upset if someone had
to mimic you, what would they do? They mimic my energy.
Everyone always says how excited I am. Like, I get
excitable like about things, right, And so anytime I'll say
(20:58):
I'm like hi, they're like, oh, like they do this
like high pitched voice, and I get what they're trying
to say. At the same time, one, I appreciate the energy,
but too, I'm not at that level. And so yeah,
over the years I've had to do I've had to
do that. I did a um an interview with an
artist and with baby Face, and you know, one of
the things that I had to be mindful of the
(21:21):
energy is going to be different when his music is already,
so chill He's so dope and he's an icon, and
so I need to chill out. And of course let
him as the pay homage and respect and let him
set the energy in the room and follow that. So
there are spaces that I will own and be, you know,
have my high energy and high vibrations and I and
(21:43):
I gets, you know, I get some some stuff back
for that. Okay, all right, you know, not bad at that,
not mad at that. What's a non negotiable for you?
I know you said you don't like people being late,
You like a clean kitchen, But when it comes to
maybe even your personal life, what is a non negotiable
where you're just like, no, this is a this is
a straight up I'll pass mm hmm. Non negotiable? Lying?
(22:10):
Oh yeah, yeah, I would say that would be the one.
I would say. There's a lot of them that come
up like that you're not really prepared for and so
you're like, oh, hell no, like I'm out of here.
But like, lying definitely is one. I literally I literally
choked on my water when you said lying, and I
was like I was trying to say me too, me too,
(22:30):
um yelling at me. I would say like raising your voice.
To me, it's a non negotiable, Like we're not even
continuing conversation at that point. Do you do you just
walk out? Do you just like leave someone if someone else,
or do you do you match them or do you leave?
It depends. It depends on the conversation. But normally it's
(22:50):
like this conversation, I'll just be like, why are you yelling?
Lower your voice, and then I'll just make them like
look really stupid, just to like and then like that's
say and I don't understand. I'm like, why are you yelling?
Like I don't understand, And I'm like you just you
look stupid. Now now I won the whole argument. Don't
(23:11):
get dirty with pigs. There's always gonn no difference. You know,
when it comes to a non negotiable for me, I
think it's preparedness. Um, it's on both sides, so non negotiable.
To the standard that I hold myself is that I'm
always prepared. I will step into any conversation prepared to
some capacity, and most times to the extreme degree. I
think being prepared is a form of being thoughtful and
(23:34):
which extends itself to to a form of respecting someone's time,
and I think time is your most valuable lug. It's
not even a com outy. It's a luxury in life
that some people don't have a lot of. And we
don't know that until we don't know that. And so
for me, it's like my love language is being prepared
to a non negotiable on my end when I show
up is to be prepared, and then in terms of
(23:55):
being on the reciprocating and nonnegotiable for me, it's again
similarly someone who is a strategical, thoughtful, like if you
didn't come up, if you didn't think about the conversation
that we're about to have before you're we're having it,
it's a note. For me, it's an i'll pass take.
Let's take a beat, you come back with some thoughts.
I want you to feel the way you feel. I
want you to be able to articulate the way you feel.
I want you to feel empowered to step in front
(24:16):
of anyone. And so I make that's a non negotiable
for me because that's what I preached, Like empower it
means you know what you feel. So if you don't
know what you feel or what you think about, what
we're going to talk about I want you to go
and get that. Go get that and come back and
I'll be I'll make time. I don't mind, you know
what I mean. So it's a little bit of that.
What's your two more before we get back into the
(24:37):
game time moments? Um, what's your favorite thing to cook?
Not favorite thing to eat, because that's next. What's your
favorite thing to cook? Uh? My favorite thing to cook
is probably just like stay just like a really good
seared rip boat and ripby Um, just season immacculately cooked perfectly,
(25:00):
the baste it in butter the whole time. Like, that's
probably my favorite thing to cook. And it doesn't get
on a plate and just I just eat it off
the cut and bore. What what's the seasoning? Like? What's
because I feel I don't know, maybe this should be
the question, and maybe this doesn't even make the cut,
but what makes it? What makes a good? Like I
(25:21):
have seake and I'm no, I'm know you so my
tapes buds aren't refined. I have a steak and you're like, oh,
it's just a steak. And then I have a seak
and I'm like, oh, that's a steak and I get
there's different in cuts, but even I could have a
bone in ribby that's juicy marbleie like all the stuff
that they tell you at the restaurant. But you're like, oh,
that's just a steak, and then you're like, oh, that's
the sake. Yeah, I mean the cut is important, um,
(25:43):
like the breed of cattle is important, like down to that,
and then the it's honestly the way you cook it,
because like you can just put salt and pepper on
a steak and baste it in butter with rosemary, thyme
and garlic and just like crush the garlic, but leave
the skin on so and burn when it's cooking in
the butter. I add a spice blend that's been in
(26:04):
my family for a while. It's called our house spice.
My family is Creole, so it's like a Creole seasoning
essentially that we put but we make it in the
house and we put it on the steak liberally, like
lots of it on there, so it forms a nice crust. Um.
So yeah, I mean a nice you know, one and
a half inch two inch boning ribby. Get your pan
really hot. You need to make sure your steak comes
(26:25):
to room temperature before you even cook it, so it
doesn't like seize up um from the heat. But there's
a couple of tricks to make it like even more
tender and delicious. But but yeah, it's really cooking it.
Make sure you're basing it in butter, make sure you're
like finishing in the oven until you have the radiant
heat so it's not that direct heat from the pan
the whole time. So um. So yeah, just a steak.
(26:45):
I love I love cooking steak and eating stead You
just got like a massive class of coming on Quartet Conversation.
You could probably end the podcast now and go find
yourself a stuff to make it and give us feedback.
I mean, you got more bang for your bug right there.
That was just that was a whole moment. So thank you.
Last question and maybe you can say it's a stake,
but if there's what's your favorite thing to eat? My
(27:06):
favorite thing to eat is probably my mom's gumbo or
chicken wings and pork fried rice from the Chinese takeoff spot.
So stop being the same person. Thank you very much.
I'd like you to exit. Are you serious? I love
some chicken wings and pork rice. That's it. That is
(27:26):
literally i'm having a bad day, I get that. If
if I'm having a good day, I get that. And
it's got to be from New York, though it can't
be from like any other state. Um, from the East Coast.
I'll give the East Coast some Chinese takeout love. But
but it's just so comforting, Like the chicken wings are
like their season perfectly. They're crunchy. You know. You put
(27:47):
some duck sauce on it, if they have some other
sweet sauce on it, it's it's all good. So I'm
glad we have the same taste. You ever refined palette.
You don't give yourself? Oh thank you, thank you. I
will I will say um. According to my husband, I
am not a great cook, although growing up I was
thought of as being a good cook. I guess over
time I've lost that kind of touch. And he calls
(28:08):
me like that one pot wonder because I got time.
I just put everything in a pot and I just
especially in a soap cooker, and I'm like boom, I'm done.
But one day, one day, I'm gonna make this this
stake one day when I have more time. Time is
a luxury. I cannot additional time as a luxury I
can't afford right now, which I ain't complaining into that.
We'll get there. We'll get there, all right. I have
you for a few more minutes. So let's up into
(28:29):
the third quarter right away. Let's talk about it game
time moments once again. Metric for success. I mean, when
you think about your career, what are moment, moments or
a moment where you're just like, yo, I made it.
I feel successful. And I know that's a passing. I'm
not saying like the end close close to book. I
know there's more to the story. But has there ever
been a moment or moments where you're just like, oh
my gosh, I made it. I've established a metric for success.
(28:51):
I execute the strategy and I'm here. That's such a
hard question to answer because I never want to feel
like I made it. There's levels to this ship, you know.
And I've hung out with people that like, um, like
their houses have their own zip code, you know what
I mean, So like so like the maple Uh, I'm
(29:17):
just kidding out, but it's like, yeah, it's hard to
say you've made it. I think there's moments that are
like whoa this ship is really crazy. Like I think
when I cook for the Gold party, you know, for
jay z Um and you know I did that whole
Oscars party for him. Um. That was like a moment
when I when I hosted the g because I won
(29:38):
the James Beard Awards before and then I hosted James
Beard Awards, which I was like, holy sh it, like
this is they chose me? You know, I'm I'm speaking
to all my peers. Um. So yeah, I mean I
think I think a couple of those moments, but I
still never feel like I've made it, Like I never
want to feel that way. I guess making it for
(29:59):
me would be like having a family, like having like
having a legacy, like kids. I think at that moment,
I'll be like I made it, because then all this
other stuff is very arbitrary. But like having someone that's
extremely tangible that I can raise to like give back
to the world, then I would feel like I've made it.
How many kids, if you could have it your way,
(30:20):
how many kids with I want? Like three or four?
I want. I definitely want to set of twins and
then I'm one another like two little rug wraps running
around to you. Wow, that's a lot of kids. I'm
just saying, you know, I need my own zip code.
That's That's what I'm saying. I got, I got, I have,
I have a destination, that's what that's. Those are goals. Um,
(30:45):
I don't know about the four kids unless they come in.
There's like a two set of twins situation that now
that I'm always for a good deal, you know. I
sometimes I talk to myself and I'm like, you cannot
not buy that, Like you don't need it, but it's
on such a good sale. That's such a good deal. Yeah,
I just want to pay my respect to people that
recognize that sale. Let me put out a good sale,
and I'm like, I see you, I'm gonna buy it,
(31:06):
even though I don't need it. I feel like that
way with kids, Like if I could get a two
for four, what I mean, that's a fifty percent discount,
if the present discount. If it's fifty percent off, you
have to buy it discount you're gonna pay in the
back end. Yes, it's you're just gonna it's a discount.
Of parents with twins are like, you don't know what
(31:29):
you're talking about. Get like by They're like, you don't
know what you're talking about. Yes, all right, let's gratitude
got to is a huge part of um what we
do just in general. I think I was talking to
someone else on the podcast, like lands Fresh and and
it's been quite amazing to live in New York City,
or to even live in l a or like you know,
(31:49):
in Austin and Miami, Chicago, live in these cities or
London and create and not be from there first off,
not really be from that city, moved there and create
not only just a network, a professional network, but to
create an extension of your family in some capacity. People
you can call or tap in to say real, recognize
is real? I want to talk to my podcast cast quamie,
(32:11):
or like let's hang out every day, or like how
can I better service you? Or how can I support you?
Show up to your opening and all these things. And
I think one of the things that has happened to
when I look around and I am so grateful for,
is that I've been able to do that young girl
for Miami moved in by herself, you know, at seventeen
years old. A couple weeks, few years later, I'm I'm here,
I'm talking to you. Someone like you's done so much
(32:33):
and so it I'm so grateful for these moments that
when we talk about it, and I think oftentimes we
forget about gratitude when we think about the game. You know,
sometimes the biggest play comes from the greatest assists or
the people who pass us the ball right, and so
it can you recognize or take this time if you
don't mind recognizing a person or people that have influenced
(32:55):
your career or just passed through the ball at the
right time for you for you to score. Yeah, you know,
I definitely recognize, um, probably my team more than anything
else that has like because it's like when you lead
a team, you're pretty much a charismatic speaker of hope.
Like there's no real proof of anything that's gonna happen.
(33:17):
You're like, Okay, we're gonna move to d C. We're
gonna open this restaurants. It's gonna be great. Uh, we're
gonna have chairs and take like there's nothing here now
but just picture to your head, you know, and slowly
but shortly things start moving in. They start floating. In
my mind, it's like some Harry Potter ship, Like they're
just floating in and coming in, you know, Um. And
that's how it looks like in my brain and their brain,
(33:37):
it's like already established, right because the way that I'm
talking about, how I'm speaking, So without them, I wouldn't
be here, you know, Like I've had, you know, influential
people passing me the rock and everything, and that's cool
and everything, but those moments aren't like I can't go
to another person and what I can and say, like
I just cook for jay Z, you know, then I
(33:59):
get to the next level. Well it's not really that that,
that's not really how it happened. How it happens is
my team is there for me. So when I did
say I want to do my first restaurant and it
failed miserably, and then I said, wait, give me another chance.
We're gonna do another restaurant, and then it succeeded, it
was I was only able to get there because of
the people that that lift me up. So I just
want to show gratitude to my team, to anybody who
(34:20):
has like it worked for me. Um, the young me,
naive me, you know, me that was not prepared to
be the leader that I am today. Um, So that's
that's my gratitude moment, all right, we're gonna this this
game is is, of course, you know, gonna go and
finish in the sense because you are. The narrative you're
(34:41):
creating is still being written and there's so much more
to look forward to. Um. But as we step into
this fourth quarter, into kind of the fat final part
of our conversation court side, one of the things that
I recognize is that you early on, like many of
the folks that I talked to, including myself and many
of my close friends, you chose me to put yourself
in the public eye at a very young age. And
(35:04):
along with that comes great responsibility, hardship. Yeah, and I
would say a unique and you know Liam Neeson style,
a unique set of skills to perform a job that
not many people can do because you do it well.
Many people can try to do it, but when you
do it, such as yourself, for me, you do it well.
(35:25):
Talk me through this choice and and and of being
a public person. And do you have I don't want
to use the word regrets, but do you have any
second thoughts on how you would have? And I know
you can't go back, and you said don't, you don't
go back to change the past, But do you have
any thoughts from the past that influences what's next for you. Yeah, well,
you know, for me, I love this life. Like as
(35:47):
a kid I was, I was in plays. I was
a lead, you know. I would get up on my
desk and dance. I was a class clown. If the
teacher walked out for a second and I go through
the desk and pull out her glasses and put them
on and and it's aid her, you know. So like
I felt like I was always a performer of some sorts. Um,
So it was a natural like step for me. I
(36:08):
think there's there's a huge responsibility, and I think there's
also a lot that the public doesn't understand that, like
it's always sometimes when you see this on the street,
like we're not always on, like we may have just
had a bad day or something. And I think it's
it's very important to just be kind in general. Um.
And I'd say that because like recently I met someone
(36:30):
that said they had met me like two years ago,
and they're like, oh, I thought you were a dick.
And I was like what, like why they were like,
because like I said high to you, and you just
like said like hey and and walked away and I
was like, where it was this there? Like it was
today's show. I was like, what time was it there?
Like five am? I was like I was tired, man,
what I was saving my energy for the camera, Like
(36:50):
I was not trying to do these bursts of energy
to every single person that I met. And we had
a really great night. So then we became like super cool.
But that's just a small snapshot of like someone in
a public eye that what they have to deal with
on on a daily basis. UM. But it's but what's
great power comes great responsibility, and it's something that we
have to think about and like take a moment to
(37:12):
just truly connect with someone and then transition out of
that and also speak up and say like hey man,
I'm tired as hell. It's great me to you. I'm
just gonna walk over here, you know. So it's UM,
I'm still learning. I wouldn't have it any other way though.
I truly enjoy it because I think it also gives
UM a platform to do things, you know, to be philanthropic,
(37:35):
to give back, to also give opportunities to mentor people
to open doors for others so you know, they can
have an easier path at you know what they're trying
to obtain based off our struggles. Like jay Z, you know,
I sold drugs, so hopefully you want to go through that,
you know what I mean. So yeah, well, I will
(37:57):
say I thank you once again for sharing your in side,
digging a little deeper in your story. I hope our
path continues to cross criss cross all the time. Big,
big supporter of what you're doing and what you continue
to do. And I really appreciate your time stepping us
into this courtside conversation and taking us into the storytelling
that is your life. Qualmie, thank you so much. Alright, alright, y'all,
(38:23):
y'all heard it here, Chef Kwamie. I watch you just
gave us the low down courtside conversation stack. Yeah,
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Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.