Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today's podcast is sponsored by sea Geek. If you didn't know,
Sea Geek is the official ticketing partner of the Brooklyns.
Whether you're trying to go to a Nets game, Liberty Game, concert,
or any other event at Barclay Center, you really only
need Sea Geek. Welcome to Courtside Conversation. I'm your girl,
(00:31):
Ali Love. After years on the Hartwood as the inn
arena host for the Brooklyn Nets, It's time for me
to take a courtside. We're here with artists, athletes, and
all of our favorite people to break down the game
called life. We're getting real about the grow up and
the glow up. So let's take a seat. All right,
(00:57):
what's up, everybody, It's your girl, Alie Love. Welcome to
Courtside Conversation, where today our special guest is Sam J.
Sam J is a comedian and writer known for her
Netflix comedy special Three in the Morning, as well as
her HBO comedy series Paul's with Sam J and the
Peacock series Buzzed Down. Taking a courtside seat is none
other than Sam J. What's up? It's good? How are you?
(01:20):
I'm good. I'm good. I gotta tell you you have
one of the smoothest voices of anyone that I know. Wow,
thank you, I'll take you. I'll eat that. I like that. Yeah,
it's true. Whether it's in person where I see you
at the next games on the street we run into
each other, or it's watching you on TV, or of
course you know in the podcast world. Sincerely, the voices,
(01:45):
it's like it's hitting, it's hitting. Yeah, I like that.
I'm gonna tell my girl that. All right, this is
the little way courtside conversation works. We got four quarters
and a fun halftime, and we're going to talk about
how you are winning at the game of life. Let's
go ahead and get into the first quarter. Now, I
know everyone that's tuning in, or at least most folks
(02:05):
are like me. Where we just saw you people on
Netflix and you pay you played the character of a
podcast host, which is kind of meta, right, It's kind
of it's kind of meta, and that you know you
played a podcast host and you are a podcast host,
Like do you have to do you have to research
yourself on how to play a role that you naturally do.
But on TV, well, I've never I don't have a podcast,
(02:28):
but I've been on plenty of podcast. Yeah, you know,
I guess have your own late night show is in
a sense having a podcast, like exactly understanding the rhythm
of what that is. So like that part of it
was kind of like I get what this is. I
don't really have to like think hard about who this
person would be in the world, you know what I mean.
So then it was just like making sure I could
(02:50):
keep up with Jonah and play across from Jonah and
and you know, have it feel often taking stuff, Yeah,
because I mean that's what comedy is. It's like a
live podcast. That's what you're doing. You have the mic
and your people are listening and laughing. But it's like
that experience. So with that, you mentioned Jonah Hill. How
was it working on that movie set? And I think
the reason it's I'm asking it is because it's so
(03:11):
timely and has been so impactful. Um, it was dope.
You know. It's it's Jonah, it's Eddie, it's Nia Long,
it's all these real heavy hitters, and you know, you're
just kind of in the mix. David Ducovany, you know, Julia,
and so you're just trying to make sure you're my gaps,
(03:31):
you know what I mean. Like the list goes on
and on, Kim Whitley, So I was just like overwhelmed
as as a person who loves comedy, Dion Cole, I'm
just like, whoa, everybody's here. I just hope that I'm
being funny, and you know, I'm weirdly pretty quiet in
situations where I don't really know folks, you know what
I mean. I'm very extroverted with my friends, are very
(03:53):
introverted as a person. So like, it's funny because I
just saw Kim Whitley last night. She was like, girl,
you was actually funny in a movie. I didn't know
what was gonna happen because every time I was around you,
you were quiet as a mouse, you know what I mean.
Because we didn't really have scenes together, so I would
just be sitting there and she's like, comedians are usually like, hey,
you're just like quiet, and then so she wasn't sure
(04:14):
how it was going to come off. So I think
like that was just the thing. I was just being
very observant and just trying to soak in everything I
can sak in and then apply it and hope I
was projecting what I was learning. Were you nervous at all?
Because I think as a for example, as a Pelican instructor,
when I go out and I go take a fitness class,
I'm not really concerned about being the best athlete in
(04:36):
the room because I practice what I preach, right, It's
not about necessarily being the best in the room. It's
about getting the best experience. I assume for comedian maybe
it's quite similar. It's not about being the funniest in
the room. We're getting the loudest laughter. It's about absorbing
the experience. Right for you, what was that approach of
going in where you know it's going to be heavy hitters,
(04:56):
you are more of a reserved person. You get that
feedback whether nerves. Of course I was hell and nervous,
you know what I mean. I just wanted to make
sure I was contributing. I mean, I think that's what
I was nervous about. Like I just didn't want people
to go home every night and be like, what the
hell is this girl doing here? You know, I just
wanted to be like a part and make sure I
(05:17):
was like giving something to the movie and to the experience.
So that's where the nerves were coming from. Was just
me being like I hope I'm not blowing this, you know. Yeah,
but what does contribution look like in your capacity? Is
it like I'm going to contribute jokes or I'm going
to contribute to the script changing the script. I mean
just come contributing to just showing up and performing. Because
if you show up and you execute your part, it
(05:40):
allows everybody else to show up and execute their part.
So it was like, I just hope I'm not the
weak link in this chain, you know, I hope I'm
also doing my part so that this chain is strong. Yeah,
was your approach to receiving the news that you're about
to You're about to be on this set, right, I
know you've worked really hard. I've seen you at Comedy Seller.
(06:02):
You know, when you go to Comedy Seller late night,
you don't know who's gonna stand on stage, and you
get folks and whether it's the Village Underground one or
the one around a street on Third Street or whatever, like,
you don't know who's gonna step on the stage. But
when it comes to a movie, like you said, and
there's been a long journey of making your name, making
your name known, doing spant specials, continue to do stand up,
(06:23):
and then you're on set with and doing movies. What
is it like receiving that news? Is it does it
unlock something in you that's like Wow, I've made it?
Or or are you just like my heads down and focus? Yeah?
The second one. The second one, because I feel like,
(06:43):
go as soon as you get the news and you're like,
now I gotta do it, you know what I mean?
Like that's the first thing my brain goes to. It's like, oh,
now you have to figure out how to execute this thing.
So it's like immediately head in the game, like how
am I gonna accomplish this? What's the one piece of
advice and or takeaway that you have being on set?
Because I can imagine folks that are listening to us
(07:04):
have a conversation in their respective industries, whether athletes, artists,
or work in any type of vertical environment. When you
walk in a room, they always say one of the
greatest gifts isn't what you always contribute, but what you
can take away that can change your life. And so,
like you said, you're on set with all these folks,
you are giving great energy, you are showing up, you
are performing at a level that you are proud of,
that you know are is contributing. But when you stepped
(07:25):
off set and it was a wrap, it was all done.
What was some of the greatest takeaways that you that
you had for me? It was just kind of like
not to be afraid to ask questions just because the
space seems large and like, oh, there's all these big players.
Is like that, you know sometimes as people who have
a tendency to get smaller and spaces like that and
be like, oh, I don't want to look dumb, so
(07:47):
I'm just gonna try to say Harry and swim upstream
and not but you know, even like also who with
my experience to us and no, I just gotta learn
like don't be a free to ask questions, like don't
be afraid to tap in and check in and your performance.
Don't be afraid you know, I would ask Jonah like
is this working for you? Like is just the pace
you wanted to go at? A am you know what
I'm saying, Like you just don't be afraid to ask questions.
(08:09):
That sense of awareness of like checking in with how
am I being received in this space? Right? That is?
That is true and we often forget that, Um I
want to jump quickly into the second quarter. I want
to spend some time here because this is one of
my favorite We talked about adversity and assists and you
you kind of said it yourself, swim upstream. Sometimes we
don't know that suffering and sacrificing are two different things,
(08:31):
and we opt in and say we're suffering. Oh I'm suffering.
It's like you're opting into suffer. I mean, you're opting
in to suffer. Sacrifice is something that you most likely
in most people's lives, if not everyone's life, that you
have to do right to get to maneuver. When we
talk about swimming upstream and you talked about s and
l what was the path your path to get to
that place where you're you're in this you're at this
(08:53):
iconic table in that room that we always see like
now you're there. What was some of those things that
we may not have seen in or a story. We
may know about your story, but we may not have
seen when you were really swimming upstream? Um, I mean
I do think it's this is such an incredible amount
of sacrifices that go into trying to do something big,
(09:19):
and you know what I mean kind of like the
things that are kind of put in. The put in
the world is like unattainable because one day don't have
a clear path to get to right, like there's these
clear pathways you can go. It's like I'm just gonna
like graduate, then I'm gonna go get like a secure job,
and then I'm gonna work it and then it's gonna
pay me at the end of the week this amount
(09:40):
of money, and I'm gonna budget that amount of money,
and that's what I'm gonna do. And it's kind of
like set up, whereas this is like you don't know
where money is coming from. You don't know if it's
coming or when it's coming. You don't there's so many
unknowns and so much of it is just like faith
in like blind faith, which is a little bit nuts
when you look back on it, I'm like I can't
believe I was just moving through the world like this
(10:02):
is all gonna work and crazy. But I think I
got that confidence. I knew, I knew the work I
was putting in, and I knew the sacrifices I was making,
And I think it's very it's a very internal thing
as well, like you know, you know when you're pushing
yourself to the limit. You know, there's no visual marker,
no other person can tell you. You know when you're
(10:23):
you're sacrificing, and you know when you're not. You know
when you're pushing yourself, and you know when you're not.
You know, this is like such an internal conversation. And
for me, it was just the dedication and consistency, like
I had never done anything with consistency in my life
before this, Like where I was like every day, I'm
going to do stand up every day, no matter what happens,
(10:46):
no matter how much money I have in my pocket,
no matter if I had to walk to the show
and walk back home six eight, nine, ten miles. I'm
going to do stand up every single day, no matter
if I had to spend this money to go do
a show and not eat that night because I don't
have enough money to do a show and eat food
and just like hope there's some food at the show
(11:07):
or something like that, I'm gonna instead of every day,
like even if it's I'm wearing two Champion hoodies, one
pair of teams for the entire winter because I'm not
spending any money on clothes, which I love, for sneakers,
which I love because I'm like spending that money to
submit to comedy festivals and like just putting it back
in the comedy and I had to believe that comedy
(11:28):
was gonna pay me back, you know what I mean?
And so I just I just kind of like I
try to do everything to win. I missed so many
family of functions and so many moments, and so many birthdays,
and so many weddings and so many funerals and so
(11:51):
many graduations, and spent a lot of time being isolated
because you're on this track and you're in this one
track minding. A lot of times people don't get it,
so it kind of shrinks your circle because you're not
going out. I wasn't going out. I wasn't going to clubs.
I was if it wasn't comedy related, I was not
doing it. I was like, I don't have space in
(12:12):
my life or anything else. So how did those conversations
go when you talk about because I think people could
relate to that again in any scope of the work,
is that seasons in your life you gotta recan't, right,
There's there's a seclusion that needs to occur for success
to happen. And it could be in anything that you do,
and sometimes it comes at the most times it comes
at the expense of hanging out being with your loved ones.
(12:36):
How did those conversations go with your friends or your
family when you decided, yeah, like, I'm cutting back on food,
like I'm fashioned, as much as I love it, I'm
giving up the things that I enjoy. I'm making these
sacrifices now because I need to make it. Like there's
a desire and I'm betting on me. What did it
take us through those conversations? And who are those people?
You know, my best friend Marcus, I mean, I think
(12:57):
at some point he got it, But at first he
was like, this is like crazy a little bit, you
know what I mean, Because he'd be like, yo, you
look bumby, and I'm like, I don't care, bro, I'm like,
I don't I don't really care a dog. I'm just
I'm just trying to go do these shows. And you know,
my my attitude is really just like if I'm on
stage and people are looking at my outfit, then I'm
not being funny. So we already step one of a problem.
(13:18):
If if people are like I didn't like her hoodie,
you know what I mean? Then it's like, well, I'm
not I'm not delivering jokes at that point then until
I have a bigger issue than if if this hoodie
is fashionable enough or whatever. Um. And I think at first,
because we're you know what kids what kids from the hood,
We're in the clothes, you know what I'm saying. We
love clothes, we love kicks. So I think at first
it was like, bro, you kind of you're wilding, like
(13:40):
there's a way you could do both. You don't gotta
be And I'm like, no, it's not not, because it's mental.
It's like once I start playing that of the game,
then I'm playing that other game and I don't want
to play that game at all. I want to be
so here. It's so focused on this that I give
it every single ounce of my person, you know what
I mean. And like I didn't want to be chasing
anything else. And it was like I don't really care
because I'm trying to get out of this. I don't
(14:02):
I don't need to be dressed fly to be around y'all.
I've been around yah my whole life. I'm trying to
go somewhere. So it's like I need to I need
to get this done and I need to be like here.
But I think once people just saw the consistency in
the passion that I had for it, then it was like, oh,
keep going, you know what I mean, Like we're seeing
the fire in your eyes, and we're seeing the motivation
(14:22):
and the drive and all this other stuff in you
that we haven't seen you have for anything else. So
then it was kind of like clear a path and
just like get out her way so she could do
her thing and just support as much as you kind
of can, you know what I mean. So I think
it was just early on. I think people are always
kind of like, you're really about to go hard for comedy.
This is such a to you know thing, And then
(14:46):
once people see you going, they're like, oh, no, she's serious.
You know. Were there any friends that you you know,
like you said you had to make this. It was
you're at the precipice of some greatness and you had
to fork some of these things where they're friends that
maybe didn't come back and real recognized real didn't have
that moment with you. Did you lose some folks along
(15:06):
the way or did everybody just like at first give
you side eye, but then they say they say committed.
I mean, I think, I think. I think life you
naturally lose some people along the way, you know, so
that definitely happened. It wasn't a big to do. They
just kind of fell out of my life, you know,
as I just kept going and doing and being, they
just started being around less and less and less and
(15:29):
less type of energy. But it wasn't like a break
up per se. It was just kind of when day
I looked up and was like, huh, I haven't heard
from that person in three years. Weird, you know what
I mean. And you're kind of like, oh, that's odd.
But whatever, the type of thing, and I think it's
just because sometimes it's not malicious. You're just going into
different directions, you know, and it is what it is
(15:49):
kind of thing, and those things, you know, I've learned
with time, those things also circle back sometimes in very
unexpected ways. And that very unexpected moment. So I also
don't believe any door is closed, you know. Today's podcast
is sponsored by seat Geek. If you didn't know SeatGeek,
it's the official ticketing partner of the Brooklyn Nets. Unlike
(16:11):
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(16:32):
and I share the same like approach of life. Like
you go through life and you're just like, it's not
finite friendships just because they've ended at they've had a
stopping point, doesn't mean they're over completely. And it's it's
kind of like that's how you that's how we are
all able to handle the emotional or process the emotional
disconnect that we may be feeling about people or individuals
as we get older. One of the things that you
(16:54):
mentioned too just now is it's like you're creating that
you're basically alluding to that life isn't linear, right, It's
not just like one straight path and it's like a
jungle gym. So let's throw it back. When was the
first time you knew you were funny? I mean, when
I was a kid, I knew it was hard because
(17:15):
I was I was a smart alec and I was
very witty when I was little, like seven, eight, nine, ten,
seven I was very like a little sister in a sitcom,
you know, like sassy would throw it right back at you.
I always had like a quick response, a smart quick
response to something. So I used to really piss my
(17:36):
family off. That's like I used to get on everybody's nerves.
Like my older cousins, who like you know, are like
brothers to me. You know, we grew up a very
close knit family. My grandmother had eleven kids, so I
have a lot of cousins that are like basically brothers.
And they would always say, like I wish you were
a boy so I could beat you up. You know.
They're like, I hate that I can't do anything about
(17:58):
this boy. And they always say to be like, yo,
if you were a boy, you would have caught it
by now, you know what I mean. I'm like, well
I'm not, and I'll just kidding like living being me
um and they would laugh, you know, they would hate
that they were laughing because I was also like zinging them.
So that's what I knew, Okay, like there's something. But
it was hard to be like, oh, this is something,
(18:20):
you could do something because it was also just pissing
everybody off. So it was it was like, I don't know.
I don't know how this is gonna serve me yet,
but I know it is a integral part of my
personality to be a observer and a like what you said,
but then this is what you did type of person.
My grandma got ten kids. And the funny thing is
(18:41):
while your boy cousins didn't beat you up, they definitely
got my girl cousins to beat me up, so we couldn't.
It was the same exact rule, like, yeah, my like
the guys in my family couldn't beat on the girls. Like,
but what we do is you get a there was
a rule you could only even older girl cousins. If
you're older, you can't beat up on a younger cousin, right,
(19:02):
So what we would do is you pair each other
up with the similar age. So I had this one
cousin that we would always fight even if we were friends.
But my older cousin was like, well, now you gotta
fight her because she because Ali was rude to me.
She's like, I don't even want to fight her. And
they're like, well, well somebody's gonna fight you. It'll go
down the line, like we'll create a chain reaction until
it gets to alix because that literally we used to
(19:26):
be on opposite ends of the hallway and you'd fight
the same The closest used to do that too. We
used to do that. It was very different because at
least yours had some logic. Who ours was just like
it's time to fight each other, you know what I mean?
And it would just be like, Radonna, you gotta fight
some aria wow, hints hints of similarity and families, but
(19:48):
we talk about the moment, it's like, Okay, your cousins,
they they laughed and they obviously you were a point
of contention for the family in the best way. When
did you know it was it was a career, even
before you knew it was a lucrative career, right, You're like,
I'm gonna do what it takes and take all the hits.
But just it being a career, when did you make
that conscious decision of when we talked about you made
(20:08):
the decision, But when was it where you're like, I'm
definitely going to I'm gonna lean into this hardcore, all right,
because I played. Those are two differ questions, but I
would I'm gonna get but I think it is Bill
because leaning in and then under realizing you have a
career or like two because you're I think when you're
leaning in, you're still just like poor and you're just
like I hope something happens because I'm leaning in. You know,
(20:30):
I'm going hard. So I think when I've decided, like, yo,
I'm gonna go hard, I'm gonna go hard for this.
It was really like before my first mic I had.
I was at my cousin's house and I was just
I was talking about something, something crude and crass, but
we were having this conversation and the whole living room
(20:51):
was just dying laughing, and it was like my cousin's
friends that I didn't know, some of my cousins, and
like I was just on a I was on a
tier and everyone was just like doubled over and I
was like, then I'm gonna do it, you know, like
in my head, I was like, yeah, I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it. And I called him my homie Antonio,
and I was like, bro. I called him next day
(21:13):
and I was like, bro, I'm about to just go
hard for comedy. He was like, which you me go hard?
I was like, I'm about to just put everything I
have into I'm just about to go crazy. And he
was like, you're serious, and I was like yeah, like
that's what I'm gonna do. And then I went to
my first mic. I got booed and there was this
way there wait wait, wait, you got so you're on stage,
you're talking, and people just booing. Guys just started booing me.
(21:36):
There was like I had a bar and they were
like it was they were it was a weird situation
where like comedy was being forced on these people, so
already I didn't think it was gonna go well. And
then you know, they made him turn off the TVs
like they were watching football, you know what I'm saying.
So they just were it in the bood for it.
I didn't take it super personal. And then I got
(21:56):
booed or whatever, and it was this kid there and
he told me his name was Justin Peedru and he
told me about all the other mics in the city.
Like he was like, oh, if you want to know
where the rest of the mics are, he like he
was like entrenched in the scene at this time, and
so he was like, here's everywhere to go, like literally
just wrote it down on a piece of paper and
(22:17):
was like here and I went. The next day, I went,
and I just kept I just kept going, and I
knew I was going to give it a year. That's
what I told myself. I said, You're gonna go hard,
like every day, You're gonna dedicate yourself fully to this
thing for a year, and if you look up in
a year and you're further further then you were when
(22:40):
you started, you're gonna put your head down for another
year and do it again. And like that was like
how I kind of micro managed it. And then when
I realized I had a career was an aby three
years ago, four years ago where I was like, oh,
I could probably figure out a way to do this
(23:00):
for a long time. Well what had changed in that time?
So obviously you had, you got booed, you started doing
the circuit. You set your metric for success, which is
very similar to what Seth Curry said about his basketball career.
He gave himself a year, And it was one of
those things like you've identified a timeline, you set a
metric for success. We're looking at the progress. You have
this scope, you've seen the progress. Obviously, what happened between
(23:21):
that time where you saw progress, and three years ago
that wasn't a career for you. Growth right, Because when
I first started, I was just a stand up and
like all I wanted to do was like get Like
my goal was to get an hour. I was like,
I just want to do an hour of comedy. I
just want to put an hour out and like that's
all I wanted to do, you know what I mean,
(23:42):
Like that was the scope of what I was thinking about.
I wasn't I wasn't even thinking past the hour, what happens.
I was just like I want to do an hour
and then I hope it's good. You know. I wasn't
even thinking past the hour what could be? But growth right,
doing it, getting opportunities, starting to be uh you know,
put in front of the camera, starting to learn what
that feels like for me, getting a writing job at SNL,
(24:06):
realizing that also there's this writer in me that wants
right and so having these different skill sets being introduced
to me and then getting the spaces and the opportunities
to hone them, let me see like, oh, it's more
than just stand up. Like you're a creative talent and
that is a career, you know, That's where the career happens.
(24:28):
That's when you start to see like, oh, I can
be doing this in this realm for maybe six years
because I could be developing this TV show and I
could also be working on my next hour, and I
could also be writing a movie, and I could also
maybe write a book if I want, and so like
that's when it was like, oh, snap, I have all
these avenues now open to me to do these things right.
(24:49):
I have people I can tap to have these conversations
for real, not just in the ether. But I can
call a publishing company that is interested in me and go, hey,
I have a book here, let's talk about it. Or
I and meet with networks and go, hey, I have
a show here, let's talk about it. And to me,
that's the career of it, because that's when you can
sustain it, you know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely, you became,
(25:10):
like you said, the owner in the creator around concepts,
and I think oftentimes we forget or and or don't
know that when you sit at a table, people aren't
just spewing ideas and job titles. It's almost like you
have to come prepared of where do I see myself
adding to this company? This scene this production, like in
(25:31):
every evolution of yourself, you actually have to tell the
people at the table how you see yourself involved. And
I think we forget because and I forget often because
when I think of the evolution of my career as well.
I'll go on meetings and I'm thinking, these folks about
to tell me what they want me to do, and
the first thing they say is, you know, they give
this spiel and they're like, so, what would you like
to do? Tell us your dream? And I'm like, what
(25:53):
what do you mean? I don't have when I'm living it,
like you know, and it's like you have to create
that space to look beyond that hour isn't necessarily obsolete,
it's just not the only thing. Yeah, And that's how
I used to be. So like when I first got
to Hollywood, I wouldn't say I had a career yet
because I was taking all these meetings and people were
like interested, and they'd be like, what do you want
(26:13):
to do? And I'm like, I just want to do
stand up. I'm gonna stand up and that's that. And
they'd be like, have you ever thought about right and anything?
And I'm like no, you know what I mean, Like
looking and they're looking at me like that's awesome, But
what can we do with this, you know what I mean?
Like we as a thing that needs creative content. There's
not much we could do here if you don't do
nothing else, but but this thing, you know what I'm saying.
(26:34):
And I had to grow in confidence and in the
industry and learn some shit. Truly, just get an education,
which is so key, Like you know, no matter how
you get it. I don't think you need to get
it in a formal school, but education is the fuel
to confidence. In my opinion, the more you are by nature,
the more confident you are, the more you know, the
more you can stand on it and talk the way
(26:55):
you want to talk, you know what I mean. And
that makes and so the edge vation changed my brain
and I was like, oh, no, I do won't Actually
I do want to do that, and I do want
to do this. And now I go into meetings and
I'm like, yo, these are my ideas, you know what
I'm saying, This is what I'm thinking about. These are
things I want to develop, This is stuff I would
(27:15):
like to see in the world. These are type of
things I would like to create. And I think that
gives the meetings more fuel. And I think a lot
of times people get into this industry and they get
a manager and they get an agent and then they're like,
make a career for me, and that's that's not what
they do. And they're like, well, my manager sucks and
my agien sucks. And I'm like, but what are you
giving them? Have you brought them stuff to manage? Because
(27:40):
if all you got them doing is like, I don't know,
calling and booking you show like you could book shows,
So it's like you have to give them stuff to
like do. If you don't give them things to do,
you gotta think your managers also their own person who's
trying to build a career. So they got fifteen other
clients besides you, say, and you the one client like
(28:01):
all I do is stand up or all I do
is this, And then they got fits fourteen other people
who are like I got a script, I got it, this,
I got giving them stuff to do. Those people are
going to become the priority because they're giving them tangibles
and you're giving them your dream and like, not to
be rude, but who gives a fuck about that? They
can't do anything with that It's one of the things
(28:22):
that I've learned as well, and that I think the
larger my team is, the less I have to work,
And it's actually the antithesis. It's actually the larger my
team is, the more I have to work, because I
have to be strategic in every area of my life
and scope out how they're going to influence or what
their role is in that strategy, and then I exactly
and then I have to execute and perform. I am
(28:43):
still just similar to you, like once you're own stage,
your manager is not standing there own stage, please welcome
Sam Jay and her manager. They don't do they don't
do the performance, they don't do the acting, they don't
do the scenes, they don't do the studying. And then
when you're sitting at the table, they don't think for
you either. So it's one of those things that what
I've read recognize, and again I always try to make
this available to every folk that's listening, is that you
(29:05):
want to a lot of people. And I think a
lot of people can do strategy or ideation right, and
most people can do many people can do it well.
It's very few people that can idea or strategize and
execute and that to me is the unlock for success
for many folks that we look up to. And that's
what you do well. And I have to say is
that we don't do that by ourselves. In the second
(29:28):
quarter we talk about assists. We don't get there by ourselves. Right.
Many of the folks that you leaned into when you
called and I was like, hey, this is a real thing.
It's because you trust their word. That if on the
other side of that phone, if you said I'm going
to do comedy for real, if you trust that, if
they said nah, like and they told you why, you
might not have pursued it in the way you would have.
But they said yes, and you trusted that. And I
(29:50):
often say you find your careers one of two ways
is you've known you since you were a little kid.
I'm only going to do stand up for the rest
of my life and nothing has deterred you or people
tell you what you're good. And as we come to
the end of the second quarter before halftime, who are
those folks that and and I know you mentioned forgive
me it was um it was Julian Peters, Like who
gave you the names of every um? Oh? Justin Pedrew
(30:12):
Justin sorry, Justin Pedrew who gave you all you know,
that's that is a layer right there. He like ali
oopt it so you can you know, that's it so
you can dunk it. Who were some of those folks
that along the journey, Um, not currently because we're gonna
get to it, but along the journey that you would say,
we're your assists. Man. Just all my friends, you know,
Like I was very lucky to have very supportive like friends,
(30:35):
Like my best friend Marcus was just you know, like
supportive who comes with me to shows and mics and
you know what I'm saying, Um, my friend Rashid would
come to me with shows or drive me, drop me
off at open mics and picked me up, you know
what I mean. My homie Micongo drove me all the
way to Connecticut for no money to do like a
(30:57):
show in like a Jamaican restaurant, you know what I'm saying,
just to like make sure I was staying on it
and like not. And the fact that oh I didn't
have a car, I didn't have money or gas like
stopped me from going. Just all all my homies, my
homie Michelle who saw me walking to work one day
because I was broke because I spent my money that
(31:18):
night to go to a show and drove me to work,
and she didn't even know what she had done for
me because it was freezing, and I was like, how
the hell am I even gonna keep this up? You
know what I'm saying, And like just all those type
of moments on the way to what I was doing.
You know, my fiancee who I've known for a long time,
(31:40):
you know, since college, who who when I first even
started talking about one to do comedy years before I
had the ball to actually try it because I was
so scared of myself and my dream, and brought me
to an improv class for my birthday and I screamed
at her. I was so mad at her because she
was like putting it in my face, like to do
(32:01):
what I said I wanted to do, and I wasn't
emotionally ready and still so afraid for so many reasons
of myself and my potential, and I was like, I'm
not doing this and that, and I like stormed out,
and she still like stayed my friend and loved me
so through that kind of stuff and saw me developing
(32:22):
and came to shows and came to Asheville and slept
in a room two. We had a little hotel room
and a crappy hotel with two beds, and because my
homye tone drove, so he was sleeping in one bed
Storrey and me and her was sleeping in the other bed,
and like, you know, just supported me at and I
had a bad set and got shrunk as hell that
night because I felt like I ruined my career because
(32:44):
it was like my first festival and I was like,
I bombed and I'm gonna never be anything. So I
like spun out and drank a bunch of vodka and
probably wasn't pleasant the evening before, you know, So it's
like all those It was so many people, you know,
so many people in so many moments. You know what,
I do love. I do love when I ask this
(33:06):
question when folks show up on this this podcast, like
you where you are? You are literally giving the credit
roles of the movie You're like you are? You were
handing out flowers, which is so important because I don't
think we get anywhere by ourselves. And why wait to
say thank you to the folks and why wait to
to acknowledge them? You know what? I mean, so I
(33:27):
appreciate that. All right, let's let's step into halftime. So Um,
I gotta tell you, being a comedian, I think is
one of the hardest jobs. And I know folks out
there like rolling their eyes because I say this all
the time, but I think it's true. And the reason
for that is they say, you know, one of the
number one fears public speaking, and so um, it's not
(33:50):
easy getting up not only talking, but having to make
people laugh, like twenty times in just five minutes, right,
like keep the energy. So I truly respect that. I
want to. I'm going to ask you a couple of questions,
a little bit of a this or that, and I
just want you to pick one thing. And it has
to be quick. Every time I tell somebody on this
conversation that it's quick, they take their time. It's gonna
(34:11):
be shure, it's gonna be sweet, it's gonna be quick. Okay, Okay,
I'm quick, alright, alright, Okay. Stand up or an hour
special on TV like live stand Up or script it
stand up okay, day night night, okay, breakfast for breakfast
or breakfast for dinner, breakfast for breakfast, oh, okay, movie
(34:34):
or podcasts, movie. When it comes to when it comes
to picking one of your friends to hang out with
or having all your friends sleep over your house one friend.
After all that we talked about these friends, you said
you're only gonna pick one to hang out with? Would
(34:56):
you rather have? And this is the last one? You're
doing stand up? Which is your favorite? You have one
person like literally dying laughing the entire set, or you
have everybody laughing lightly the entire set, one person getting destroyed.
I am that one person. All right, let's let's let's
jump into the third quick half time that was I
(35:18):
told you it's quick, it's cute, it's done. It's because
I got I got more to talk to your your
If you want much more funny, Sam Jay, you could
just turn on TV. Okay, because for me, the reason
I started course of our conversation is one of the
things that and I'm still curious on many levels just
in life you can talk about learning and things like
that is the how to you look at someone's life
(35:40):
to a small aperture called my TV, called Instagram or
social media or you just you on the street looking
fly as hell, and the best news you know, sweatshirt right,
best new hoodie, and you think this person has it
all together or somehow they were able to unlock it,
and I wasn't. And what I thought would be profound
and has been very beneficial for me is conversation. Conversations
(36:00):
The catalysts have changed, hearing somebody's story and hearing literally
the how of their story, not just the highlights, the
how of the low lights of their story. Right you
talked about that time you were just down and you
got booed and you got wasted right after and the
third quarter, That's what I want to focus on, is
understanding not only some of the process before you get
on stage and after you get on stage, but some
(36:20):
of the process of getting to the places that you
got some of these touch points. So I do want
to take it back to getting booed. How does it
feel to get booed? Tell me Na, I can imagine,
But how does it feel to Sam Jay getting booed?
Knowing that maybe you walked in prepared, you gave it
everything you had, what happens to you emotionally? Okay? So
(36:42):
this is this is the honest answer. I've only been
booed at one time, not to say how never be
boot again, but only actually like Boo that one time,
And I didn't care because I understood the circumstances. I
was like, you're being forced tolictit to me. You don't
want to, you would rather watch football, Like this really
(37:02):
has nothing to do with if I'm capable of this
or not, And this has everything to do with like
the circumstances of the environment we're in right now. So
I just didn't I was like, whatever, it's not the
end of the world. But I have thought about it,
like what what like mentally, because it could happen, what
would you do? And um, I cannot say what I'd
(37:23):
actually do, but what I what I have told myself
through this whole thing is everybody's not gonna like you. Um,
and everybody's not gonna take to what you're saying, Like
that's just not how this is gonna work or play out.
There are going to be people who dislike you. There
are going to be people who think you are bad
at comedy, and um, you know I get that for sure.
(37:44):
Like I've definitely walked people in shows. I've definitely had
people DM me and tell me that I'm not funny.
This lady just the other day, commented under one of
my you People posts, and she was like, I don't
know how this bum got on Netflix. I was at
the seller and she was doing this shit joke about Dahmer.
(38:05):
She fucking sucks, you know, like, and I was like, ah, yeah,
that's us she feels you know what I mean, I
don't Yeah, I can't really do anything about that, you
know what I'm saying, Like, everybody's not going to like
what you're doing. And also, this is such a process.
Comedy is such a process. Live performance of any kind,
it's such a process, and the people who do it,
(38:26):
you know, aside for me, the people who do any
type of live performance so brave because we're doing the
process in front of the people, and we're allowing you
to judge the process. So it's like, sometimes the jokes
are bad because they're not done, or they're not ready,
or they're not a complete thought, and the only way
for me to work on the joke is to get
on stage and do the joke. So sometimes you might
(38:47):
catch a weird tangent about Jeffrey Dahmer and that might
not have been what you came to the comedy soft
for that day. And so you're disappointed and angry. The
thing that frustrates me about people like that woman is
because you don't like it, you assume it should not exist.
And I think that that is nutty. It's like people
(39:10):
they're like, I didn't like this, so I don't understand
why it's in the world, and it's like, yeah, but
someone probably doesn't like you, but you're still getting the
walk around and like be and do your thing. So
this idea that just because you don't like something it
shouldn't exist is nuts to me. Or just because you
didn't get it, other people don't or it doesn't service
(39:30):
somebody else, just because it doesn't service you, you know.
And I think, especially because of the Internet giving so
many voices power in a good and bad way, I
think people think that their opinion matters so fucking much
when it just doesn't. And actually, like real time, and
that's really nuts to me because I could never imagine
(39:50):
and there's a lot of art I don't like, but
I can never imagine like going on that person's page
and being like, I don't fucking like you, because like
I don't have to like it. That's the reality of
it is. Maybe it just wasn't for me, and there's
other art out here that is for me and I
should just go experience that. So that's like the frustrating part.
(40:11):
You know, It's like, damn, bro, I'm still like a
person and I didn't want to wake up on a
Saturday morning to some random lady saying I'm bad at
the thing I love to do. Like that's not fun,
you know what I mean. But you got to just
put all these things into a perspective and in that way,
I don't take any of the personal because it's not
(40:33):
they don't know me. But how do you process it?
What are your methods of sustaining or maintaining and or
protecting that piece, right, the mental well being? Because I'm
with you as someone who is public and this is
we've opted in, like we've tapped in. You know, it's
like tap in, we tap tap tap sweetie time, like
we did that, and we get that there are consequences
(40:55):
and there are downsides that coming with any decision we make,
and these are part of the consequences. Is But I
will say there have been seasons of my life and
I'm just coming out of a season. But in the past,
the recent season it's affected me so much that I
have lost my internal confidence. I don't want to say
I lost my eternal confidence, because I know how to
(41:16):
I know how to put on a show right the
performance of Ali and other performance ALI comes out. But
inside I'm dying, you know, like I'm literally dying on
the inside because somehow I've because of repetition or seeing comments.
And maybe it's not a lot, maybe it's a couple
of times, but it's that that raindrop that makes that ripple,
that somehow these comments are reflection of myself. Even though
(41:38):
I can rationalize it to your point, not everybody's gonna
like me. I'm not gonna like everybody. That person got
people that don't like them or their work. The hardest thing,
just like an athlete is like when you're in the
public eye, what we do, it's it's our art form.
It's not like it's it's objective. It's subjective in the
sense of we are the product, we are the experience,
(41:58):
we are the business, we are the brand, and we
are the people. We are persons, and it does affect
us in terms of that. So for folks that are
listening that maybe you know, maybe that got some feedback
today that not just because they don't like it doesn't
mean it isn't true, but it is hard to deal
with or hard to compartmentalize, or hard to say, you know,
effort like to it. How have you? What's that scope
(42:19):
looked like for you in terms of processing it? Um?
You know. I I'm protective of my suenergy in a
big way. And so one thing is I try not
to I don't go looking for stuff. I don't search
my name. I don't I don't go looking for things.
Unless you act me directly, I won't see it because
(42:41):
I don't go searching names. Lessone sends me an article,
I don't see it. Lestone says like, oh there was
just write up. I don't see it. And usually when
people sense some way that's me, I don't really read it.
I might skim through it. Well, I asked them first,
like it is good because I don't need a lot
of like I don't mind criticism, but I don't need
a lot of negativity because I'm already being like hell
(43:02):
of vulnerable. You know what I'm saying, Because it's one yo,
I see this, and I see what this person is
trying to do. But I think that execute my little
off and nicks da da da da. I can eat that.
But when these blocks are doing like and this is trash,
and it's like I can't get into that energy. So
as soon as those type of tones start to come,
I tune out. I'm not even giving it the rest
(43:22):
of my time. It's like, all right, this doesn't deserve
my energy because I don't whatever. Now it's like a
racist comment, or someone call me fat or black or
stupid bitch or whatever little fun shit they want to do.
You know, I simply just block. It's like, immediately your
blocks immediately immediately, though there's no engagement past block. That's
(43:43):
crazy because that's nuts that you would come saying things
like that to somebody, And that already lets me know
like this is a youth problem and not a me problem,
because even if you don't like what I'm doing, to
come out my page and call me a stupid black
bitch is just a personal thing that has nothing to
do with me Sam the person. So you go figure
yourself out. Now, it's something like a good silly mood.
(44:05):
I might fun with them. They might be like a
silly black bitch, and I'd be like, hey, baby, what's
wrong with you today? Like you man, like, what's havining?
Because you going through a lot like which is funny
and funny. Sometimes my girl hates when I do it.
She's like, don't even do that. But sometimes how does
she handle it? Because I think it's it's like, even
(44:27):
though there's a separation, there's it's a hard separation because
your girlfriend is an extension of you, and you do
talk about her a lot, not just in this conversation,
but in your stand ups and things like that, which
is you know, it's great because we get insight into
who she is and who you are. But how does
she handle that? I think at first, like with the
first special, she wasn't expecting so many people to be
at her in different ways that it was like hard
(44:48):
for her. But she was like, this is not what
I signed up for. I think now she's like me
in a sense where she's just like people are fucking dumb,
you know, like what can you really do about it?
Because you can't do you can't do anything. And a
lot of times, like when I do engage people, they
just sad, bro, They just like you know, like Lady
(45:12):
was like yelling at me, and then I was like,
hey man, how is your Tuesday? And she was like,
it's actually not going great. And I was like, well,
what's what's going on, baby, because clearly that's that's where
we're at, and that's what you need right now because
you're just spiraling and yelling at me for no reason.
I have nothing to do with this, you know what
I'm saying, or like, anytime I engage like that, it's
usually like I'm never like sometimes I'm like, shut up,
(45:35):
your fucking asshole, But for the most part, I'd just
be like, hey, babe, I just want you to have
a good day, like maybe get a green juice and
take a walk, because whatever it is, it shouldn't be
working you up this way, like we don't know each other. Dog.
I love that the green juice is the advice to
calm down. Maybe that is maybe that's a missing link
when when I am like feeling feeling jazzy, maybe that's
(45:58):
the missing link because I didn't have my greene you
know what I mean? Love Chill, All right, let's step
into the fourth quarter before we round out this quartside conversation.
Oftentimes people say, well, what's next, what's going on? Obviously
you have a lot going on, right and you you
we talked about it and touched on it of just
like how you not only do stand up, but you
do all these other buckets and you come to the
(46:19):
table and you're prepared it and you're thinking of your
life in that capacity of what is next and how
do these things intersect? So let's talk about in this
fourth quarter as we round other conversation, what is now?
What are you going deeper in instead of going wider? Right, Like,
of all the things that you have going on, what
are you just like in this season, in this moment,
this week, this month, I'm just really digging deep. And
(46:39):
what does that look like? Um? I mean right now
for me, it's the special because I'm shooting another special
in June, and so it's around the corner and like
I finally feel like I have it thematically a sense
of what it is and at least the big big
picture jokes I know, And so it's just like now,
(47:00):
it's like dig in time. It's like touring my ass off,
going to cities. I hate doing as much stand up
as possible, like to the point where I hate the jokes,
you know, to the point where I'm like I never
want to like say this shit again in my life. Um,
(47:23):
just really knowing the act front to back and inside out,
you know, like really understanding it and just having the
rhythm and the pace of it, um so that when
when it's go time and it's live at five, I'm
ready for whatever. I'm I'm ready to deviate from it
because I know how to get back to it. I'm
(47:45):
I'm I'm ready to be very in the moment because
I understand all the mechanisms of it, you know what
I mean. Like I'm ready for if if the if
the set changes is anyway or a joke, I decide
it needs to come earlier. I'm still good and in
the pocket because I know how to move all this
stuff around now. So it's like just really making sure
it's you know tight. It's my second special. I just
(48:07):
wanted to at least live up to the first one,
if not, you know, supersede the first one. So yeah,
that's that's where I'm just thinking about that all the
time I'm sleeping thinking about jokes. I wake up and
write things in my phone or how it's gonna look.
It's just like all encompassing in my taking up most
(48:27):
of my creative brain right now. Wow, I don't even
know how to think about a joke. The only thing
I've thought about that I thought was even remotely funny
lately is I didn't realize that a glove compartment or
a glove box was for gloves. I didn't. I didn't
know that in my whole sense. I didn't really know that.
But now that you say, it's kind of like because
people use a used to use driving gloves because the
(48:51):
steering wheel. I didn't get that far as him, because
then I was like, well, how come we don't have
a coatbox because then people get cold? I went on
a spiral. That's a cloth in my mind. That's the
close I get to a quote unquote joke story, and
it's it's already hard, which is why I say it
is really challenging what you do. And I know we
all sign up for challenging things, but it's like you're
(49:11):
at the mercy of entertaining a crowd, and I think
that that is I applaud you because one of the
things that I enjoy doing, my one of my top
things I enjoy doing is laughing. It is one of
my favorite things to do. And you afford me that
opportunity more frequently than not. So I want to thank you.
I also want to thank you so much for joining
(49:32):
us some quartside conversation. Now, for those folks that I've
listened all the way to the end and maybe they
know you, maybe they're a fan, but also maybe they
just they just got their introduction to you, what would
you leave us with in terms of explaining who? Because
we've talked about the what, the why, the how in
four quarters at this at this game called life, what
(49:52):
would you leave them with of the who? Sam Jay is?
In a couple words, Um, who Sam Jay? Sam Jay?
You know, I'm just a person who got dealt the
average and that folks get dealt. You know, grew up
(50:12):
with not a lot of money. My mom passed away
when I was sixteen. My dad asked me when I
was young, So definitely a person who didn't have a setup,
who kind of had to go out and figure it
out for real. And I did mostly because of my
(50:33):
faith in God and my belief in my own abilities.
And that was the blessing that I got from my mom.
So I would say, I'm just a person who was
willing to fucking tried Wow, you you were trying, you
are doing, and you have done once again. Everyone Sam
(50:57):
J comedian writer, he did it and she's trying and
we love it. Thank you so much for taking a
court side. You are winning at this game called life.
We will follow you along. And again, for those of
you that are listening, thank you so much for saying
to the end, because guess what, there's more to come.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thanks him, thank you,
thank you. Cool