Advice in Public, Part 1: Finding Yourself, Confronting Loneliness, and Creating Balance

In the first part of this installment of Advice in Public, the hosts answer questions submitted by listeners on a wide range of topics. In this episode, the girls discuss feeling safe in NYC, dealing with not feeling like yourself, making friends in new places, finding a balance in your health journey, and finding a sense of individuality in your style.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hey, Sidney and I are Zoom recording for the first time.
I think in oh my god, months like months and
months could almost be a year.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
About if someone wants to buy us a studio and
donate it to us and also pay for us to
go to the studio, I would love to be the
beneficiary of your generosity.

Speaker 3 (00:38):
I will graciously accept that.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Thank you. Well.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
So the reason that we're on Zoom is right now,
I am home for Philadelphia.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
I mean, I'm home in Philadelphia for Father's Day. Very
exciting we are going to. This is so funny.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
I asked my dad what he wanted to do for
Father's Day, and he said he wanted to go to
King of Prussia, which is like the second biggest small
in the world or whatever. We live like thirty minutes
away from it, and get sweet green because we don't
have sweet green near our house. And I eat sweet
green almost every day because obviously a live am.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
She eats it every day. I don't know if I've
ever said this on the podcast, but I have this
really weird thing where I will never pay for a salad,
like unless it comes as aside, I will never pay
for it.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
That's crazy and even then as a side. Usually it's
like free, like if it comes with your broker or something.
But all he wants to do is go to Swee
Green for his day. And I think it's hilarious that's
what he wants. We got him some cute presents. We
got him a carrier that you can carry grills, spices
and meats and utensils like to and from the kitchen,

(01:43):
so you don't you don't have to like carry everything manually.
And then I also got him a pair of tongs.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Oh I thought you said tongs like the shoe. Yeah,
I was like, I cannot, said, what does? I got
my dad a hoodie? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:59):
Nice, it's from where.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Far Fetch So it's like this really nice brand. It
was like three inch dollars hidie.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
So oh my God said, let.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Him enjoy them. And it's so funny because it's my brother,
the little Brother's birthday this weekend too. He's turning five,
so okay, the gets that go is actually so good.
He plays hockey. He's literally the only black person who
plays hockey in America. So I got him and like
it's so funny because he just turned five. So he

(02:36):
knows how to skate really really well, but he doesn't
understand the premise of like it's a game. So because
the league he's in is like six to nine year olds,
so they're like some pretty big kids. So they're like
all like obviously like playing it to put the puck
in the whatever, and he's just like twirling in the corner,
crawling on the floor making snow angels. So I got

(02:59):
him you know that like material they have at ice
skating rinks that aren't actually ice. Yes, I got him
that for our house so they can build one on
their backyard or like in his playroom so we can
like practice shooting and with his skates on without actually
being on ice.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
I had a playroom when I was younger.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Yeah, my family's building one. It's supposed to be done
like two months ago, and it's they just a pilot
of dirt right now.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
So, oh my god, that is so funny. Yeah, that's
a great gift. That's really really thoughtful. Sinny always comes
up with the most thoughtful gifts, I will say.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Because I think I learned it from my mom. I
am not gonna waste my money, Like, why would I
buy something you're not gonna like I could just watch
something you do like.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
Easy exactly Sydney's Easy'll She told us what she wanted
for her birthday. She wants to go see Mulan Rouge
with Derek Clenna and Jojo.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
No. It's so funny because I took Sarah to mullin
Reache for her birthday last year, and like, I don't
know if you guys know Mulon Rouge is. It's a
Broadway play and the sign is like ginormous red letters
with genormous red lights, genormous read everything, and you could
see it from a mile away. And so I didn't
tell her we were going. I said we were going
to an influencer event. And we were walking around the

(04:16):
corner and mind you, I'm looking straight ahead and it's
the only thing on the street is mulin Rouge in
ginormous red letters and a line down the block. But
across the street is this motel called Camelot, And Sarah
was like, oh my gosh, are we going to the
Camelot Motel? I was like, girl, why would I bring

(04:38):
you to a sketchy motel in the middle of the
Broadway district for your birthday?

Speaker 1 (04:44):
I was trying to make you feel better because I
was like, oh, okay, and then I was like that
sounds like.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:51):
And then you know it was genuine because when I
saw Mulan Ruge, I started crying yes, and I was like, actually,
I started sobbing.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
Yeah, sorrows surprised.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yeah, that was a great gift. And it was a
surprise too, which I liked. I can't surprise anyone that
this year.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
She knows when she's kidding.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Sarah cannot gave a surprise for her life. She'll literally
be like We'll be sitting there in silence forero point
one seconds and she's like, guess so I got you
for your birthday. I was like, Sarah, that's fine. Really,
it's so sad though, because I want one of those
heart cakes so badly because I love them and the

(05:32):
girl who in New York is like famous for doing them.
She makes them out of her kitchen. She's a college student.
I was like, you know what, let me support her.
So I DMed her and I was like, Hi, like,
can I have a menu? I was like, I want
to order cake for my birthday because you have to
pre order it. And this girl, since we were her
a little canva presentation, she wanted to charge three hundred
dollars for one of those heart cakes that feeds like

(05:53):
four people. I was like, girl, I be so freakin
for real, because there's no way you want me to
pay three hundred dollars this little thing when I could
have taken my cute little butt to publics published grocers
and gotten a cake that could feed literally the entire
city of New York for like twenty bucks. I was like, actually,

(06:14):
I'm sick. I can't and it sucks too, because every
other zodiac sign can be cute. Because I can't put
my age on my birthday or on my birthday cake because
I n till I went on a different age for
the for the plot. If one would say.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
So, yeah people, our last episode by the way.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah, so I actually do forget how I am, so
I just say a random age. So I can't really
do that. So what I would have done is like
for Jim and I, so they could be like yeah,
Gym and I season, or like Tauruses could be like Taurus, baby,
I can't put cancer on my cake because that's you know,

(06:54):
not that's awkward a little bit.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
And then it is a little bit awkward to me.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
I would do like I I'd be like, oh, like
put your like astrological sign instead of the name. But
my ascological sign is sixty nine. So as you see,
I'm coming to a predicament.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
Might just might just put you're a bit of a pickup.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
Might just put Jordan here on a cake because my
middle name is Jordan. I'm named after Michael Jordan and
his basketball number is twenty three.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
I think that's kind of How about you let me
handle the cake and just yeah, it's so depressing to
buy your own birthday cake.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
Just let Chance and I handle everything.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
Okay, Yes, our fing in high school. So I went
to like obviously a very small high school. So our
friend group was like, I guess half the girl's in
our grade. But our running joke and like my smaller
friend group was that we would order a kid's cake
from Public's. And I don't knowin if I've ever seen
public sist kid's cake. Them things. I don't if they

(07:55):
have like the rights to these characters, but them cakes
went crazy. So my last birthday in Jacksonville, I had
a hunting themed cake and I had a whistle and
a deer on it. One year I had doc mic
stuff ins. That one was good. I've had Mowana, We've
had Pepa the Pig. That one had a swing on it.
So I miss Publics. My wedding cakes can be from Publics.

(08:17):
I miss her.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
I mean Publics really comes through with their cakes. Is
you've shown me pictures of your birthday cakes before and
they're nothing like my birthday cakes that I had when
I was little, So I was very jealous. And they're
so cool, they're so extravagant because Publics.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
Publics has never failed me. They've tried me, but they
never failed me. Ye know.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
I took Zach to Publix for the first time and
he changed his life. We both got pub subs and
they have these little because he's a pickle beaned and
I was ack to my boyfriend by the way, Yeah,
and he yeah, he got this like pickle thing and
apparently it was really good, you know what I'm talking about,
Like those pickles in those individual big ass.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Pigs and their friend those very large bags.

Speaker 3 (09:04):
Yeah, all the juices are inside and they're mulling in there.
He got one of.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
Those and he liked it and it was spicy. They're
so good and Publics has those. Yeah, public says everything
I get, and they had Oh my god, they had
like oh good, yeah, that's a good one too.

Speaker 3 (09:19):
I think I've had that, and they get. They have everything.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
They have like pool stuff in the back and games
and little like they have alcohol.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
They have everything that anybody could ever want in their lives.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
And everyone's so nice, like they wouldn't dare hurt me.
Like this morning, I woke up and I was like,
I kind of want Chipotle. Then it was like, do
I want my spirits to be tested today? No? Oh?

Speaker 3 (09:45):
Do our listeners know about your beef?

Speaker 1 (09:47):
You're ongoing like infinity beef with Chipotle?

Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yes, cause I told the sour cream. I told the
milk story a couple of weeks ago, right, And then
I went in again last week, and you know what,
I was like, I'm gonna put my differences aside for
the sake of peace. So I want my freaking Casidia.
So I went in in there they were on their bs.
Oh my god, order it online. Ooh that's so annoying

(10:12):
because you can literally make it the exact same. But
I was like, you know what, fine, I'll do my
cheat route. Because I have two kids, Kisidias and I
asked for a side of sour cream, a side of
walk so I do every time. It's eleven ninety eight.
I know it like it's my child. She was like,
that's not a side. I was like, what do you
mean it's not a side, it's sour cream? What is

(10:34):
in an entree? And she's like, I have to charge
your extra for sauce. It's gonna charge me for three
dollars for some sour cream. I was like, you know what.
I came in here wanting to be in a good
place with you. I came in here ready to lay
my cards on the table and come to a truth.
You want to try literally, you want to try me again?

(10:57):
I can't with her. Am I going today? Maybe? But
she tests me every time?

Speaker 3 (11:03):
Is it the same girl every time?

Speaker 2 (11:05):
No, but there's one man in there who sees me
every single time. And this gives me a look and
I'm like, do not ruin my day? Do not ruin
my day?

Speaker 3 (11:12):
That is so funny. He gives you a look like why,
Like I don't understand. I love Chipotle, though I always order.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
When i'm ordering, I always order from like Sweet Green,
or I order sushi. But whenever I'm out walking down
this little street. I always crave Chipoley because I always
see Pop with the Chipolti bags and oh, I get
a bowl with because you guys are so interested in
my Chipotle order. I get a bowl with brown rice
and chicken and all the fixings. And they always want

(11:44):
to test me when I ask for my fixings because
I said, can I just have everything? And they're like, okay,
well people say that, and then they always don't want one thing,
so like, what don't you want? And I said, I
want everything? And they said are you sure? And I said,
I will come back there and do what mine. Don't
make me come back there, please, I'll come back there
and do myself.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
I will always judge me for order, and I'm like, okay,
well do you want to eat it? Like let's give
you my cord and let's move. But like this is
my thing with sweet green is like I would eat
sweet green because like I am, like on my my
weight lost journey, so I would want to have it's like,
oh salad, healthy girl, sweet green bowls like the ones

(12:21):
I would order, like the right harvest bol or whatever.
Then things have more calories than my chropola order. And
I'm like, are you supposed to be a salad. I'm
supposed to be healthy. Why am I paying a down
payment on a house for a salad that it's two
thousand calories, So that's crazy. So yeah, me and Me
and Sweet Green have beef a lot of it. Actually.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
The thing with the thing though, is that with the
harvest bowls, if you get like light dressing and stuff,
then it does become it's like healthy calories. And then
also it keeps you full for longer because there's a
lot of protein in it and like the rice and
like it's all very healthy stuff. So I would say,
like those are really good calories, if that makes sense.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
Yeah, but I'm not a deficit, so I may have
chick fi lef for half the calaries someone's got to give,
you know.

Speaker 3 (13:03):
That is so funny. I'm in a deficit, so chickil.

Speaker 2 (13:08):
That's and for some reason it's worked so far. So
we're not gonna We're not gonna We're not gonna test it.

Speaker 3 (13:14):
No, if it's I mean, if it ain't broke, don't
fix it. I think, Yeah, okay, what are we doing today?
Oh yeah, oh my god.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
So we should get started with the topic a little
earlier today, because today we are doing an advice in
public And if you know us, you know that Sydney
and I love advices in publics because we love to
act like we know everything at all times.

Speaker 2 (13:38):
I could basically be a therapist.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, I was saying so a couple of days ago.
What we do is Sydney posts on the Instagram story
on the Crying in Public Instagram at Crying in Public podcast,
follow us, and yeah, our.

Speaker 3 (13:51):
Instagram is so cute. We should definitely follow our Instagram.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
Sydney posts on our story just like, oh, we're doing
an advice in public episode. Now shoot us your questions
so you can ask just like advice on anything going
on in your life, from friendship to relationships to family
to I don't know, womanhood, to school to jobs to apartments.
Anything you want your advice on that you think we
would know about, you have the opportunity to kind of ask.

(14:15):
So that is what we're doing today. We're answering these
questions and we're not gonna obviously need names or anything,
but we're gonna like paraphrase your questions and then answer
them in our little Sarah c anyway.

Speaker 2 (14:25):
And it's so funny because last night I was so
incredibly bored because I was doing an awful thing and
I was waiting on a man, don't do that. And
so I went through to see like what are our
most listened to episodes? And I was so shocked, and
I was like, this is so interesting because I never
would have thought, but I did think, and they were there.

Speaker 3 (14:50):
It was kind of coot wat what I don't know,
like or they advice in publics?

Speaker 2 (14:54):
Yeah, like the the two most popular ones were advice
in public and the Lori Harvey one and.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
Then one of you crying at the table for an.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
Out unfortunately, yes, and the one after that one. But
it's so funny because like I was looking at like this,
the handful of like listened to it, and I'm like,
oh wow, like the population of like a small American city,
maybe even a medium American city has heard me sobbing
because I got cheated on during an episode, you.

Speaker 3 (15:28):
Know, and then you found out during an episode. That's crazy.
I still cannot believe that happened. And we got to
share that moment.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
With you got all from vulnerability man. Crazy. Okay, anyway,
so after rehashing that, let's get into it Okay. First question, Okay,
listener said, question about New York City. Do you guys

(15:55):
ever feel unsafe as to young women in Manhattan?

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Yeah, I would say so is the question, do you
ever feel unsafe as a woman in New York City? Yes,
for sure, I would say more though on the night
life scene. So like, I've never personally felt and I
know Sydney has not had this experience. You said a
pretty couple frightening moments walking around. I've never necessarily felt
unsafe like my life was in danger, just like walking

(16:19):
around the city personally. And I am not encouraging you
walking by yourself at three am at all, because it's
not safe. But in freshman year of college, I was
a little bit on my wild child's side, and I
would like just walk home from barsl Like I would
do that thing where I was out with my friends
and then I get drunkn and I just want to
go home, and then I didn't have money for uber
at the time, so I would just like walk home

(16:41):
by myself at like three am, and I would do that,
and I never felt unsafe doing that personally, just like
in my personal experience, I would not encourage that though,
Please don't do that. But that is just the reason
I bring that up is just kind of to an
unciate my point where it's like walking around just like
in the city by myself during the day in Times Square,
no matter where I like was, I've never felt unsafe.

(17:06):
Where I start to feel unsafe is like or and
never in my apartment either, Like we've never had a
break in, thank god, nothing has ever been stolen, and
we've always lived in pretty safe areas.

Speaker 3 (17:15):
I think because we went to NYU, so we lived.

Speaker 1 (17:17):
In like dorms, and I think Sydney has a really
good eye for picking like safe locations for us to live. However,
the part where I do start to feel unsafe is
nightlife because of the men who are creepy and like
they start to follow you around and then they pressure
you for your number, and sometimes that can get really scary.
But no, I would never say the city inherently as

(17:38):
made me feel unsafe.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
What about you, Yeah, I never really feel unsafe. I've
had some some like run into and such, but even
then I wasn't necessarily scared. I would say, like when
I first came to New York, I thought I would
be more scared, but I think the city has somewhat
hardened me. Like Stara and I are different in a
sense that Sarah usually takes Uber, I usually take the train,

(18:00):
and like I do, hang out in a lot of
spots or like areas of New York that people would
generally consider it to be unsafe, Like that's like the
reputation that they have. But I also think because I'm black,
I don't really have the same view, Like I will
walk into Harlem or the Bronx or like parts of
Brooklyn and not ever really feel unsafe. Cause I think
that sometimes people look quit like predominantly large, like black

(18:23):
and brown communities as being unsafe because that's what they are,
because they are black and brown communities. So like even
if people I live like near Harlem be like, oh
my god, Harlem is so unsafe, and I'm like, no,
it's not. Like every scary experience I've had in New
York has been an East village, not in Harlem. Like
I've never agreed, I ever had an issue where we
live now because I'm we're close to Columbia now, never
had a problem. Every scary situation I've had in terms

(18:46):
of like the realm of like men being scary or
like touchy or aggressive has always been at NYU or
East Village, Like I've never had an issue anywhere else
in the city. So I think one dispelling the rumor
that like places like like NYU are inherently safer isn't

(19:07):
really true. One Two that like the people, the problems
I've had have been with like NYU boys or like
NYU people, So that's one thing. Two, I feel like
minding your business goes a very long way. Like on
the train, walking down the street, if there are people
that are having like mental health episodes or are acting aggressively.

Speaker 3 (19:29):
Or getting in a physical fight, yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:30):
I literally just ignore them, not my business. So obviously
unless sounds of danger. That's never happened though, But I
just literally keep my head straight, headphones on, keep walking
like you would in any other situation in any other city.
Same thing on the train, like if someone is acting radically,
I marked my own business obviously. If they're coming towards me,
that's a different situation. Like that's happening once when someone

(19:53):
kind of like was walking towards me angrily and I
literally just took my keys and my birdy out and
I was like step one foot close to me and
I'm gonna fuck you up, and he walked away. So
I think as long as you know how to like
hold your own and you're confident about it, I think
you're fine. So I would never say I generally feel unsafe,
and I've never really had any situations outside of like

(20:13):
being at NYU and dealing with like junk frat boys.
That's been probably my scariest experience since I've been here.
But I think you'd find that in any college town
because unfortunately that's male culture.

Speaker 3 (20:26):
Yeah, and Greek life culture yeah as well. Oh.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
I would say, yeah, my scariest experiences, just super quickly
before we move on to the next question have been
in East Village, and I would expand that to Soho. Yeah,
and those have been my scariest experiences in nightclubs again,
like dealing with aggressive men for sure. Not that you
shouldn't go out in those areas because I still go
out in those areas. I still go out in those
areas like today, and I have a great time and

(20:52):
usually I never get bothered.

Speaker 3 (20:54):
But I would say, if you like, some.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
Of my favorite places to go clubing are like in
the West Village for that reason, I feel like I
don't know the culture, like the night life culture over
there's just a little more chill in this sense where
like people go out to bars to dance, they don't
go to nightclubs to dance.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
Does that make sense?

Speaker 2 (21:10):
Yeah? And I feel like just so, it's like exercising
common sense goes a long way in terms of like, yeah,
leave with the buddy, let someone know where you are, vigilant,
cover your drink, stuff like that.

Speaker 3 (21:21):
Drinks are a huge thing. I've known a lot of people.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
It's never happened to me, thank god, but I know
a lot of people who have gotten roofeed and that
is unfortunately kind of common. So I would say protecting
your drink actually is huge. And one more thing, I've
gotten my phone stolen twice in nightclubs. So again, like
literally every single actually scary thing that's happened to me
has happened in a nightclub. So I would say, like,
just and I love to go out, so I'm not
gonna stop doing it, but I've definitely learned some things.

(21:46):
It's one cover your drink and to make sure your
phone is not in your pocket, make sure it's in
your bag. Like every single time I've got my phone stolen,
it has been in my pocket, and like, if it's
in a bag with the clasp, you're fine, it's not.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
It's gonna be safe.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
Most likely, precisely, all right. Nixt question how to deal
with not feeling yourself? Oh, number one, feel you No,
that's normal, and that a lot of people go through it.
So it's not just because I know a lot of
times it feels like this is not happening to anyone else.

(22:19):
My friends are fine, but I feel like a lot
of people keep those kinds of struggles private, or don't
tell anyone out of fear of embarrassment, or just not
really knowing how to talk about it. So first, you're
not alone. That was me for literally the first six
months five months of this year. I think what happened
for me is that I knew that I was feeling depressed.

(22:41):
I knew that I wasn't feeling like myself. I was
always feeling really sick, like physically sick, like nauseous. I
didn't want to hang out, I didn't want to go out,
I want to talk to anyone, And I just had
this two sided fear one that like if I kept
going out I was going to lose it because I
just didn't whateverally want to be around anyone. I didn't

(23:01):
really feel like myself that On the other hand, I
was like, I don't want to isolate myself and kind
of put other people off where I feel like I
was gooding or not being a good friend by not
like being a participant like obviously hanging out with my
friends and things like that, or being there for them.
But I think it took like a really bad situation

(23:23):
happening where I did get really really physically sick, where
I was like, why am I putting so much effort
and energy into going out and like maintaining some fake
air of being okay? And if I took all that
energy I was putting into other people, into toxic relationships,
into men and things like that, and put it into myself,

(23:44):
how much of a difference that would make. So I
put like a hard stop to drinking. I didn't drink
for like four months, I stopped going out as much.
I'd go out probably once every two or three weekends,
and just finally let myself rest and I started going
to therapy. I'd gone walks by myself figuring out like
what's the root of what's making me feel this way,

(24:07):
Because you might always think, oh, it's cause I got
in a fight with my friend, or oh because I
broke up with this guy, but there's always a deeper
kind of feeling to it. Like I found out that
mine was a fear of rejection, or that a lot
of talks things that were happening in my life. I
felt like it was like on a cycle. So how
do I break that cycle? So I think just taking
the time that you're putting into other people or situations

(24:29):
that don't serve you and reducting all that energy towards
yourself makes a big difference. And realizing that something's going
to happen overnight something that takes a while to kind
of come to fruition. For me, it took four or
five months, but I know that now after taking that
time to myself seeking help, I feel like it's okay
to step back and focus on myself. I started eating better,

(24:52):
I started working out. I lost a lot of weight,
and that helped with like issues I had where I
was like putting my stress into eating. So I think
I just found like a lot of things making me
feel kind of like insecure about myself and focusing on
those and now I feel like I'm in a lot
better place. People keep telling me like, oh, like you said,

(25:13):
you're so much about going now, Like I feel like
I fee the old Sydney things like that, So I
don't know, it feels good people people that. Yeah, So
it feels nice to be able to like feel like
my old self again. Should I definitely say just take
the time because it might feel selfish, but I promise
you it's going to serve you so much more than

(25:34):
keep thinking like you don't need time for yourself, for help,
et cetera.

Speaker 3 (25:40):
Giving me cry a little bit, I'm like, actually.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
Like I'm said, oh, there are tears coming out of
my eyes right now. That was really was good advice,
just too And that's how Sydney sees it. No, I
really enjoy that we should have Remember when we used
to have a questions corner, Yeah, we should now have
like how Sydney sees it, of course, because the most

(26:04):
are yeah, yeah, with one thing you said really resonated
with me, and it's that deep self reflection for me
came after a tragedy or really traumatic incident. So recently
last summer, my ex and I broke up and I

(26:25):
was like confident we were going to get married all
this stuff, and that definitely set me into this like
weird spiral, not just of unhealthy behavior, I would.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
Say, but of a lack of self confidence.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
I was not feeling myself like physically or mentally like
I was just and nothing changed necessarily in my actual
physical habits and this is just like how I react
to the situation, but my mental state did. So it
did force me to kind of get down to the
root cause of some things, which is really helpful. And
it was cool because what came out of that breakup

(26:59):
was I not only embarked on my healing journey from
the breakup, so like, not only do I feel better
from that, but I also feel better from addressing other
areas in my life that needed fixing or just like
growing in general or maturing even especially And then recently,
like last month, one of my closest friends passed away

(27:19):
very suddenly from cancer, a very rare form of cancer.

Speaker 3 (27:23):
And it wasn't suddenly for her the family, but unfortunately she.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
Did have a relapse and decided to keep that private,
which I respect, and that's totally fine, but it came
as a shock to me, and I was definitely very sad.

Speaker 3 (27:36):
And I wouldn't say it sent me into a.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
Spiral like my breakup did, but it definitely made me
feel sad all the time. And so these things I
could directly relate to like a specific situation, but I
don't even and I'm still healing from that, Like it
was extremely recent, and I didn't really talk about it
on the podcast that much because like, I don't know,
it's I don't usually make these things kind of public,

(27:59):
but and especially with death. Death is weird for me,
Like I'll talk about my personal trauma whatever, but like
out of respect for like my friend and her family.
It's like I just don't really like take to like
Instagram or like social media to kind of express my grief.
But what I can talk about is my personal healing journey.
And one thing that really just got me through is

(28:22):
I know that my friend would have wanted me to
be the best version of myself. So whenever I felt
myself slipping, or whenever I felt extremely sad and doing
like physical things that are not the best for me,
not like physical harm or anything, oh my god, please,
but just like drinking a little more staying out too late,
just and engaging in like unhealthy behaviors. Whenever I felt

(28:43):
myself kind of doing that, I would just think of
my friend and like how much she loved me and
how much like she just would have wanted the best
for me, And that kind of kept me going. And
I'm still very much in my healing process, so I
can't really tell you how to get through it because
I'm still like in the midst of getting through it.
But that is right now the thought that makes me
feel just like not only a sense of peace, but

(29:04):
just like making it's making me a healthier person. I think,
just like in general, because she was an amazing person
and like that's just what she would have wanted.

Speaker 3 (29:13):
If that makes sense.

Speaker 2 (29:15):
Oh my god, you know it's being vulnerable. So next question,
how do I date in college while avoiding the prominent
hookup culture?

Speaker 3 (29:29):
Ooh girl, Oh that is a great question. Oh my god.
Kudos you know who you are. Kudos to whoever asked that.

Speaker 2 (29:37):
Okay, Sarah and I had to take a pause and
laugh at this one, because you know, we tried to
avoid it. I want Sarah take it away.

Speaker 3 (29:47):
So the first thing that came to mind when you
read out this question.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
Was that one TikTok sound that originated from Harry Potter
where Umbradge is asking each of the Hogwarts professors like uh,
like she's interrogating them because she just got her new
whatever power position and she's talking to Snape and she goes,
is it true where like you applied for the position
of defense against the doc Odds teacher correct and he

(30:11):
said yes, and she goes, but you were unsuccessful, and
he goes, Obviously, that's like the meme that just came
into my mind because literally, were you unsuccessful?

Speaker 3 (30:24):
Obviously?

Speaker 2 (30:25):
Like yes, I hope someone out there got that reference
so went straight over my head.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
It's a popular sound, so hopefully somebody out there got it.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
But I went into college not really thinking about hookup
culture or like I wasn't necessarily for or against it.
It was like the last thing on my brain. But
I joined Not only did I join Greek life pretty
early on, which I think perpetuates that stereotype, but also
I really took college to like explore my sexuality and

(30:56):
like all this stuff, and that is I think the
best way to explain it in the way where it's
like my sexual identity, but how I could sexually express
myself and I'm that meant for me like engaging with
multiple sexual partners. I'm trying to think of very like
nice ways to say this, and I'm sure you can

(31:16):
like pick up what I'm putting down.

Speaker 2 (31:18):
But I hope I was.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
And to me, hookup culture is different than like doing
like It's different than exploring your sexual identity and like
your sexual expression for sure, But I did not avoid
hookup culture. I was right in the middle of hookup culture.
What I wish someone would have told me is that
you are not defined by your sexual expression and how

(31:48):
many sexual partners you have, because as a woman, we
of course have different like labels that are thrown on
us if we do engage in sexual relations with a
lot of people. And I definitely felt the weight of
those comments, so I would say, like or not even comments,
just like judgments in general by like friends or like

(32:09):
other partners or family whatever. And I think as long
as you're like, there's nothing wrong with like loving to
have sex. But I would say, as long as you're
taking the proper precautions like getting tested, et cetera, et cetera,
I think you'll be Okay. I would just say, remember,
you are not defined by what other people put on you.
So whether like let's say you're not a very sexual

(32:29):
person and you don't really want to engage in hookup culture,
Like that's the vibe I'm getting from this question, is like,
don't let people prush.

Speaker 3 (32:34):
You into doing that. Either the same it goes the
same way on the opposite scale.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
It's like, just like I felt upset when people were like, oh, man,
like you're going out again with a guy, or like
you're going on another date, which is so stupid. It's
like just how I felt the weight of those comments.
Don't feel the weight of comments that are like, oh
my god, you should go on dates, you should go
on hinds, you should go to this frat party, you
should get with this guy. Like, don't feel the weight
of those because you're not defined by your sexuality.

Speaker 3 (32:59):
No one is.

Speaker 2 (33:01):
Bir So, I had a similar but kind of different
experience in the sense that I didn't have my first
kiss or anything like that until I was a senior
in high school. So I think that my quote unquote
experiences were like very delayed in terms of how society

(33:25):
thinks that you should engage stuff like that. Like I
have friends who had their first kiss in like third grade,
and that's.

Speaker 3 (33:30):
Kind of my first kiss when I was twelve.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
Yeah, well I had a little kindergarten kiss spot. I
don't want to have that, but I think that I
kind of felt pressure from that that, Like all of
my friends in college were that I had, like I
had just met, had like long term boyfriends and like
had dated multi people in high school and things like that,

(33:53):
and I didn't have that same experience, so I kind
of felt like I was in experience and things like that.
So when I came to college, it was the first
time because like I was sly, I'm black. I went
to a school in the South. There was like three
other black people, and I had never felt like attractive
or like wanted and things like that in high school.

(34:13):
But I always told myself, a lit'll be different in college,
and ooh it was.

Speaker 3 (34:17):
And it was the first time people were like zooey, mama.

Speaker 2 (34:20):
It was the first time like people were actually attracted
to me and like they were attractive too, and I
was like, this is crazy. So my first year of college,
I would say actually more like all of it, but
probably just my first year. It was more so like
me wanting to become like confident in my experiences and
kind of exploring what was out theres I didn't want

(34:41):
to like just meet one person and kind of dick
tied down. Even that's exactly what happened.

Speaker 3 (34:47):
It was the complete opposite of my experience.

Speaker 2 (34:49):
I ended up meeting my ex boyfriend the first month
of school. So and it's funny because he was five
years older than me, but he was the one that
was like, I'm too young to be tied down, like
I need to explore.

Speaker 3 (35:03):
So we were like open, you are thirty, Like he
wasn't actually thirty, but I was just.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
You're pushing quarter life crisis. So I kind of had
a boyfriend. We were kind of open. So I understand
what you mean about not wanting to engage in hookup
culture because for me, if it's the right person and
I think, like I connect with him, I'm not just
gonna want to stop it being physical with one another.
I want to be intimate emotionally and things like intellectually,

(35:29):
things like that. But it took four years and buried
my experiences for me to realize that the right person
for me will be ready I shouldn't have to beg
or plead with anyone to see me as more than
a physical object or to want to engage something deeper
with me. And so that seems something I'm like having

(35:51):
to still learn now, is that a lot of men,
especially in their twenties, will plead and plead I'm not ready,
Like I can't be tied down to my bachelor era.
But I just kind of kept to myself or kept
telling myself that the right person will be ready and
I will have to beg and plead or question or

(36:11):
be anxious about what they do want. It's more so
a matter of what I want. Stop trying to focus
on their needs and desire to focus on mine. If
I don't want to be in a situation where I
have to only hook up with someone or only be
a U up text, then maybe I shouldn't be talking
to these people, or maybe I should keep talking to
people who potentially do want that. So I think it's

(36:32):
more so figuring out what you want, because at the
end of the day, you're the one that puts your
foot down. If you don't want to do this anymore,
don't do it anymore. If you want to keep doing
it do it. So I think just remember that you
have the agency in the situation and you should use it.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
Agreed.

Speaker 1 (36:46):
And yeah, I would say just because like your wants
and needs and desires are not the same as like mine,
for example, that does not mean yours are any less valid.
And I think it's just important to remember, like Sidney said,
what you want, not let other people influence you.

Speaker 3 (37:04):
Guys included, or like whoever you.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
Are sexually attracted to, whatever your sexual preference is, don't
let those people pressure you either, just like friends and environment, family, etcetera.

Speaker 2 (37:15):
Precisely. Okay, this girl has like a lot of friendship
themed questions, so I'm going to combine them all kind
of so it's most like a friendship themed why. I
just had to deal with feeling lonely and not having

(37:37):
close friends, dealing with friendship breakups, and how to make
new friends.

Speaker 3 (37:42):
Ooh okay, so hold on one was how to deal with.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
Not having close friends okay, or breaking up with close friends,
and then also how to make new ones. Take it away, Bob,
I do direct you for like a longer explanation to
our episode. That's called the Art of being Alone. That's
the one I was talking about that's imst listened to episode,
but we just go obviously an hour long more depth

(38:12):
into dealing with feelings of like being alone and feeling
lonely and how to combat that. But for a more
sparknes version, I think that Sarah and I were in
like a very large friend group in college. Girl group
had a really big falling out with them, and now
only Sarah and I speak, and I don't really know

(38:33):
if they're speaking then, not that my business were concerned,
but I know that especially with like girl groups and
obviously with guys too, but especially girl groups, that I
think girls get really close really fast, and it obviously
sucks that someone that you have so many experiences with
and memories with and who knows so much about you
either isn't the person who thought you were or you

(38:56):
guys aren't compatible, or it just sucks to lose someone
that kind of knows that deeper side of you. But
I think kind of like what we said in our
last question one what other thing.

Speaker 3 (39:11):
You said, I know, it really sucks to lose someone
who knows that deeper side of.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
You, But oh yeah, everything happens for a recent at
the end of the day, and that sometimes people are
meant to be in our lives for certain periods of
time and not for forever, one to to teach us
lessons either about ourselves or about what we value and
friendships or in other people. So I know, for me,
I realized that out of that situation that I don't

(39:35):
need fifteen hundred friends. I don't need fifty five girlfriends,
I don't need, et cetera. You know, I want to
surround myself with people who have similar values to me,
people I enjoy spending time with, people I can trust,
people who I know I could not talk to you
for two weeks and then come back and things be
perfectly normal. People who I think have my best interests

(39:56):
at heart and whose best interests I have at heart.
So I think that realizing that quality over quantity. People
say that and throw it around, but it really is true.
Cause I have a smaller group of girlfriends now like
for or four girlfriends I'm very very close to, and
I would much rather have that than seventeen girlfriends who

(40:18):
I only really hang out with for Instagram pictures and
to go out and things like that. So I think
that's one thing to keep in mind into the so
many things coming due time, and it will happen when
it needs to. I know that. Like after leaving NYU,
we had just like ended our friend group we had
for four years, and I was like, well, this feels weird,
Like I'm so used to having a huge group to

(40:39):
go out and things like that. And you know, then
I started law school and I met an entirely new
group of people who are completely different from the friends
I had at NYU or friends I had at home.
And so now I have two incredible groups of girls
who couldn't be more different, like my roommates and my
law school friends, but they both both types of friendship
optionthing different, and I think it's important to realize the

(41:01):
value in that. So yeah, I think part of it's
putting yourself out there. Part of it is realizing that
things do happen for a reason. And there's so man
different ways to meet people. Whether it's because I don't
know where you live, so I don't know if you're
in college, things like that, it's a lot of different ways.
But I knew that being in a new environment like
law school or like moving to a new area, I've

(41:23):
met so many more people that way. So yeah, that's
mine and that's my two cents, and.

Speaker 1 (41:30):
I think you summed it up really perfectly, so I'll
kind of end this part one of the question on
a personal anecdote that's I think really helpful. My first
semester in college was really rough because I was thrown
into a very already toxic roommate situation. It was very
weird and like just extremely unhealthy. And so I ended

(41:53):
that semester loving NYU and loving kind of like my
life outside of my like room. But still it was
just very awkward, very like interesting dynamic. I come back
for second semester of freshman year, and I kind of
was feeling that fresh start, like I really want to
branch out and meet new people. And I go to

(42:14):
class first day of class one day new class, sit
down next to this girl and I look over and
I go, I love your jacket. She was wearing like
this pink leather jacket, and she goes, thank you so much.

Speaker 3 (42:26):
Oh my god. We were instantly.

Speaker 1 (42:28):
Friends, Like we got burgers after class that day I'm
pretty sure, like even the next class. And then we
connected so much that I met her group of friends
who she made for semester, and guess who was part
of that friend group Sydney, so I will like and
look out. I mean, I don't know where I would

(42:48):
be if I never met you, Like I would have
a different roommate for the last three years. I would
not have we wouldn't have started this podcast. So it's
the butterfly effect is so important, like the t down effect.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
It's nuts.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
And I would just say, like, think about when you're
scared of putting yourself out there, think about the long
term and how much it could actually change your life.
And because I know it did mine, Like if I
never complimented that girl in her leather jacket, who knows
where I would be today.

Speaker 3 (43:17):
So it's good stuff. And I still love that girl.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
Her name is Camille, and she unfortunately transferred to you Miami,
not because of like anything happened, but she just felt
it was a better fit. She lives there now and
we are still really really good friends. But I just think,
like one high can go a really long way.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
Period. Okay, next cool question. I'm gonna try to do
two more in this episode. Will do the other half
for the next episode. Yeah, it's stay tuned, okay, okay, okay.
How to find your Own sense of fashion.

Speaker 3 (43:55):
Ooh man, this is good.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
Okay, I'll go so as someone who religiously buys all
of her clothes at Zara, I don't know if I'm
the best person to speak on this. I am more
a beauty girl over a fashion girly, but I do
have a very like curated sense of style.

Speaker 3 (44:15):
I would say it's very like.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
Chic gurly right when you say, like kind of flowy,
like not to Indie or like not to Granola, but
very like like it's still New York. All I wear
is like black, white and beige, but it's like what
very put together and also with like it's very feminine,
I would say, would.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
You agree, yes, very pink and neutral.

Speaker 3 (44:38):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (44:39):
So I've definitely found that sense of comfort in my
fashion style after moving to New York. It took me
about two years after living in one of the biggest
fashion capitals in the world, to really like nail down
how I want to dress and how I like to
present myself. And one thing that I've learned is comfort
over anything else, Like and not even just oh my god,
wear sneakers instead of high heels, I mean, like, wear

(45:00):
shirts that are comfortable for you, wear pants, that are
not too tight or not too loose. Wear like shoes
that fit your feet right and maybe have like an
INChO wiggle room. Because when you feel comfortable, you feel confident,
and like that is the major lesson that I've learned.

Speaker 3 (45:15):
And after feeling, after realizing and.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
Learning what I felt most comfortable in, that's when my
style really came together because I prioritized feeling good in
my body and like stuff that was just flattering for me,
not even just physically, but stuff that's like I feel
good in, not really adhering to society standards, really just
like loving myself and what I'm wearing and looking in
the mirror and being like, yes, I'm going to get

(45:37):
some bomb pictures today and I just feel like so
nice in this like little summary dress or.

Speaker 3 (45:42):
In this like type boob shirt like that.

Speaker 1 (45:44):
It's just so depending on what you feel comfortable, and
I think that's the most important thing overall.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yeah, I think don't be afraid of your style changing,
because for me, I went to private school my whole life,
So from literally kindergarten until senior year, all that war
was uniforms.

Speaker 3 (46:04):
Me too, Citty and I were in the uniform cold
my sense.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
Of fashion was anything that's not a uniform, and then
coming to NYU, I did have a bit of a
golf base. Alli war was black. I mean, that's still
kind of what I do, but I think it went
from more so being like rock inspired golf ness to
now I just like more so classic silhouettes that happened

(46:28):
to be black or navy. Like I love being able
to wear work pants or like flowy pants like silk
pants to work and outside of work, but also like
dressing young because when else would I do that? So
I think, well, because I am in law school and
like I have him worked in like corporate America, a
lot of my style is like really cool blazer, it's

(46:51):
really cool work pants and stuff like that. At the
same time, I want to maintain and I didity outside
of work. So I think definitely my style changing since that.
I love wearing color now and I never liked that before,
but I realized how cool looks on my skin tone,
and I'm like, why wouldn't I do that? That would
be a crime. So I'm trying to wear more color now.
But I think it's more so just like if I

(47:12):
see something and I like it, I'm gonna get It
might not be quote unquote my style, but if I
like it and I'm wearing it, I feel like that's
my style. And I think also just like not being
afraid to dress differently than your friends, because like I
think I have sometimes I wear things that are like
more bold and my friends would necessarily wear and they're like,

(47:33):
oh I don't really like that, or like, oh it's
not right thing. Okay, cool, I'm still gonna wear because
I like it, you know. So, I think it's just
being said fast and what you like and it makes
you feel comfortable wear it.

Speaker 3 (47:43):
I like that word steadfast.

Speaker 2 (47:45):
It's from the Bible. I don't really know why I
used it. No, I liked it, Thank you.

Speaker 3 (47:50):
It was good.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
It reminds you of the name Stedman, and I really
don't like that name Steadman.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
Yeah, I've never heard that name in my life.

Speaker 2 (47:58):
I need someone names deadman. I'm kind of like, how
do you birth a cute little baby and you look
at that cute, little, sweet little face and you go studman.

Speaker 1 (48:07):
I think about that with babies named Walter phil or Yeah,
like Gertrude.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
There's some names are just like that. It's an old
woman's name, or that's an adult name, I.

Speaker 1 (48:22):
Agree, or like wait, I had one more it was oh,
that's a big one if your name is I'm actually
so sorry, but I just don't understand how you could
like pop a cute out of your jet and then
be like, you.

Speaker 3 (48:35):
Know what I mean, that's a name. Oh I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
No, and I say his name gets stuck up my throat.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
Like yeah, Also, I did not know that said he
was seeing a guy name, So I'm not a bitch.
I promise I didn't.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
That's okay, seeing such a strong word.

Speaker 1 (48:55):
See okay, perfect, Linze, this has been a great advice session.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
You know us. Okay, do you have any advice for
people looking for things to do that don't cost money
in New York City? This is Sarah's expertise, so I'm
let her take that away.

Speaker 3 (49:17):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
Yes, I think not having money or like being broke,
is not an excuse to not do stuff in New York.
I hate when people use that excuse because it is
literally not one, like obviously, yeah, some things you cannot
avoid spending money on, like this a way for instance,
or like I don't know, going out to eat food,
like obviously you can't avoid it, but there are ways
to be extremely frugal. And I would know because I

(49:38):
was once abro college student in New York with literally
two cents to my name, and so is Sydney. So
the way I think we kind of handled it and
the way I still handle it, like when I'm having
those days where I want to save money and just
like you know, those kind of that kind of week
before I get paid, where I'm like, ooh, you know,
I don't really I don't really know if I should
be going on right now. The way we handle it
is we do things that are equally as fun that

(50:00):
are free. You're like, don't cost a lot, so like
picnic against Central Park. The most you'll ever spend on
something like that is like ten dollars for a bottle
of wine and then three dollars for some cheese, like literally,
and then you go and sit there with your friends
and you have amazing time. You gossip about people you hate,
like it's amazing, I promise the vibes. Parks in general,
I think are so underrated in New York, like Prospect Park,

(50:20):
Battery Park if you're feeling kind of touristy, and Central
Park is the big one, like Sheep's Meadow is a
great place to picnic when it's not too crowded. And
I think the best park downtown is Tompkin Square Park.
Like people watching, sitting on a bench, getting a like donut,
and like sitting in people watching, and like talking with
your friends, and even like listening to music, reading a book,

(50:42):
doing homework. I think it's actually like the vibes or
so euphoric, especially in the summer, in the spring, in
the fall. Another thing I would say is cook eat
at home, which I am really bad at doing. But
I also have a full time job. So like if
you don't have like if you're in school or you're
a student, or yeah, another circumstance where like you just don't,
like you can't go out to eat every day or
like order in every day, I would say, which is

(51:04):
not healthy to do in general, Like I would not
recommend that no matter what your money situation looks like,
I would say that cooking is actually so helpful and
it might not seem like it when you're spending seventy
dollars at Trader Joe's. You're like, I could have gone
out to eat today for fifty dollars. If this this sucks,
but it lasts you for.

Speaker 3 (51:19):
A really long time.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
Sindy can attest because she makes the best best dinners ever.
I come home and I always smell just this amazing
smell in the kitchen, and it's always Sidney cooking up
some masterpiece. But then it lasts you for so long.
You don't have to go grocery shopping again for another week.
And it's like taking out or like sorry, getting delivery
and eating out is so expensive because most of the

(51:42):
time you're paying extra fees, whether that's tips or delivery
fees or taxes or whatever. It can really really add
up and it definitely eats at your wallet. I would say,
and I'm really bad at doing this, but one of
the best pieces of advice I could give you is
taking the subway. It costs two seventy five as opposed
to a fifty uber. I promise it is worth it.

(52:02):
And Sydney is literally right now.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
I just has not been on the subway to like
a year.

Speaker 3 (52:07):
I know I haven't no, like I am preaching to
the choir right now because I never do that.

Speaker 1 (52:12):
But uh, Siddy could talk about the subway a little
bit if she wants because.

Speaker 2 (52:16):
The exact opposite. I will not take an uber unless
it is absolutely necessary, because why would I spend forty
five dollars going somewhere and I could take the train
for two dollars and get there probably quicker. But I
think it's also one thing is like walking around and
a lot of touristy things are free, so like, for example,
going to Roosevelt Island, which is so cool, or Gunner's Island,

(52:38):
which is so fun. The very the route trip ferry
ride to Gunnar's Island is four dollars. The train or
the sky tramp incredible views of New York to Roosevelt
Island is two seventy five. So I think just finding
cheap ways to do with the cool things is one.
There's a lot of like free pop ups around the
city which are fun to do, or free museums like MoMA, Whitney,

(52:59):
et cetera. If you're a college student or a trick
State resident, it's like pay what you wish, so that's cool.
Like date nights at the met Friday.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
Yes, I think if it's like if you're a tri
state student or a New York resident, then you.

Speaker 2 (53:13):
Get suggested, So yeah, I chiple check and look that up.
Date nights at the met are free. I'm pretty sure
it's pay what you wish.

Speaker 1 (53:22):
Oh, so are date nights at the MoMA really yeah,
it's like the first Friday of every month. It's free
and you can just go in and they have like
drinks and AI exhibits. It's really really cool.

Speaker 2 (53:33):
Oh yeah. And if you're into like hip hop, reggaeton, afrobeats,
the first Saturday of every month at Brooklyn Museum, they
turn it into like a three level club and it's
free and it's so fun. I go every month. And
also there's like so many restaurants that are cheap and
do like all day happy hours or like five dollars drinks,

(53:53):
so it's fun to go do that with friends and
they'll walk around or something like that.

Speaker 3 (53:57):
Or the hot bottomless deals are so oh the Highland,
it's awesome.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
Yeah, So definitely check stuff like that out. And if
you want to cut costs, fine like happy hour deals
or cook at home and bring it like a picnic style.
So yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
And I would also say I'm not gonna plug my
own TikTok right now, don't worry. But I would say
there are a lot of New York City creators out
there who specifically center their account around like cheap things
to do in the city or even free like those
free pop ups and events that Sinny was just mentioning.
Like KVD, I think is doing a pop up in
Times Square this week where you can go and get
a free lipstick. And I know this other jewelry company
is doing a pop up and soho where you go,

(54:34):
and like if you bring a piece of jewelry that
has been used or that's kind of rusty and like
obviously not very wearable anymore, they will exchange it for
a piece of like their jewelry.

Speaker 3 (54:42):
So it's literally a free piece of jewelry.

Speaker 1 (54:44):
So's stuff like that where I know, Like if you
literally look up free things to do in New York
City this week, all these accounts will come up with
the best advice like free beauty products, free food, free flowers.

Speaker 3 (54:54):
It's really really awesome, free samples. It's the best.

Speaker 1 (54:58):
Like there is a way to be frugal in New
York City, but it's just about knowing the hacks and
knowing the tricks and like knowing what's going on.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
Agreed, Okay, we get to wrap up.

Speaker 3 (55:08):
I think we're good all right, you guys, thank you
so much for tuning in. We love you.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
We are doing a part two to your Advice in
Publics next week, so if your question did not get
answered this time, we will absolutely be sure to address
it in the next episode if we can.

Speaker 3 (55:23):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
But you can follow us on social media Crying a
Public Podcast on Instagram, and you can also listen to
us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeart wherever you get
your podcasts. Of course, we are Crying in public. I'm Sarah,
That's Sydney, and we love you. Goodbye bye,