In the second part of this installment of Advice in Public, the hosts answer questions submitted by listeners on a wide range of topics. In this episode, the girls discuss approaching relationships with partners who may be shy or antisocial, confronting your sexuality on your own timeline, and making new friendships and entering new relationships while staying true to yourself.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Hey, so what's going on.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I'm gonna share what just occurred.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I think you should.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Everything I learned about Sarah's against my will.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
That's a good way of putting it.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I'm just going to start by saying that. So today
I left my room for the first time in like a.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Week, and you regretted it.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Regretted it instantly because my room gets actually no natural light.
So I came out here to get the one percon
natal light our living room gets. And I keep hearing
like digging noises coming from Sarah's room and like very
deep sighs or like grunts, and I'm like, first I
was like, do.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I want to know what she's doing?
Speaker 3 (00:59):
And then I start to like remember or like familiarize
myself with the noises.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
It was before she heard the noises. The more she's like,
I feel familiar, Yeah, like I've done this is familiar.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
I was like, there's no way I thought instantly of
cash Cow the Webkins game, because like the noises were
like so justsay, were like not like meyowing.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
It was like some animal noise.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
And then like a ding yeah, And I was like,
is she playing cash Cow from Webkins? It's like the
most deep size, like this girl's wearing a marathon or something.
I was like, what is she doing? I was losing
and I texted her like four times. She didn't response.
I'm like, is she going through something in her room?
Like what is happening? Finally she emerges she's playing what
What's What's the game?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
So it's a Webkins arcade game called Pizza Pal.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
How do you have a Webkins account? Which I have
to buy an animal to get one?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
No, you don't have to know. That used to be
the case, but now you can just get one for
free on the thing because it's not really.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
How did you come to find this information?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
So I really wanted like, Okay, so recently I've been
through a tragedy and after that, I was kind of
like I need to do something to take my mind
off like everything and something super childihood ish. So I
was looking for Club Penguin and then I was looking
for Pixie Hollow and I couldn't find either one of them.
They don't have online games anymore or they did, and
(02:13):
like now they're on the internet. Yeah and then yeah,
so then I found Webkins and to my delight, to
my extreme delight, the app was available for tabloads. So
I got a bunny and I downloaded it and now
I really like to play the arcade game Pizza Palace,
(02:34):
and I have like cash on there, like they gave
me free cash, and now I.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Just have it.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
I will say, my password for everything that I own
is the code from my first webkins because my parents
were divorced, so I memorized it so I could log
onto it on my other parents computer.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
It's my password for everything.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Still, WHOA, that's a long password.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Yeah, I never forgot it, but I will say that's
very weird.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I know.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
I made a comment about some did like Obscure Disney
movie the other day when Sarah and her boyfriend were here,
and he like just casually like named the movie and
the scene I was talking about. I was like what
he was of me? And Sarah just watched it. I
was like, Oh, that's also slightly weird.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Was it was it Princess and the Frog?
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I think it was.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
I think it was.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
But like I if I asked any other twenty five
year old man a question about the new Prince and
the Frog, like the animated version, and they were like
this happened, I would be like, oh, what.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
No, it's very strange. I don't know. I admit that
it's weird for sure. I regret everything, but I don't know,
it makes you feel better.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
So when he so, I gotta, I just kind of
knoway in your relationship, was it like a conversation where
you were like, I very much enjoy Disney and childlike things,
or you just kind of like, like, just do it.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
I eased him into it so on like one of
our first couple of dates, I was like, I really
like Disney and like I like to go to Disney whatever.
But I so I'm not weird, Like I'm not like
a Disney adult, right, I lied, okay, And then but
I introduced him to the concept that I like Disney,
and he was like, Okay, that's totally normal. And then
as we continue dating, I kind of introduced more and
more red flags into the relationship regarding Disney, and I
(04:14):
think he just kind of accepted it at one point,
you know. And so now he knows the full scale
of like the Upkins games, like the Disney trips and everything,
and he's not weird it out because I didn't hard
launch it. I soft launched it into the relationship and
that's my advice to everybody. If you have something weird
about you, I would never just tell anybody straight up.
I would just like ease them into it because it helps.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
The weird thing is my personality, so I can't real that.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Yeah, no, you're screwed. No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
It's personality.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Well, Like, when I go on first dates, it's actually
very interesting because I not, like I happen on a
lot of them. If I had to do the math,
it'd probably be depressing, so I'm not going to. But
I have like a nine to nine percent success rate
on my side. Like I'm so good at first dating
because I have no like filter, Like I just like
to talk to people and I think it goes well,
and like I think that they think it goes well.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
So why don't I have a boyfriend. I can always
chalk it up to my personality.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
For some weird reason, I've never been able to picture
you on a first date. I've been able to picture
you on dates, but never on a first date, do
you know what I mean? Like, I can't because I
think we're so close that I can't And same with
our roommate chance, like I can never imagine them meeting
somebody for the first time.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
It's like.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
It's like I get so comfortable. Okay, if it's a girl,
I get kind of scared because like girls are like scared.
I don't know, not that they go out for stake
to the girls. I mean like meeting girls. Yeah, like
my girl, like my friend's girlfriends.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Are more girls girls, I feel like.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
So that's also.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
But if it's like a romantic setting, like I have
no problem. I'm comfortable out the bat. I'm never uncomfortable
even if the guy's like really really weird. I know
that I'm cool, so I just like bring the coolness.
It's the conversation.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I mean, your name is Sidney Winter. Like, imagine how
much dominating that is to go on a first date
with Sydney Winter. Yeah, I strongly believe that thank you.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Are we talking about I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
No, you should never give up that you're weird on
the first date, only like the fourth or the fifth date,
and then.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
When you do ease it and slowly Yeah, it's it's
just weird though, because I feel like I can just
bring it. I bring what needs to be brought to
the first date and then I'm kind of like, Okay,
why aren't you obsessed with me? And I get concerned
my personalities in my face.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
And then you get the ick that they're not like
I would kill myself to be with you.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
It was like the ones I end up?
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Do you liking me? I'm like, that was the worst
first date ever? Why would you want to do that
and see me again?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I don't want to see you again? So why why
is this happening?
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Who said that? One of our ex podcast hosts said that,
like they want a guy to like kill themselves over her,
and I was like, I don't actually say that yet.
I don't know about that one.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
That makes no sense, no sense, no money.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Sorry I had I don't know what's wrong with me today?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Oh you know what we have to talk about? The
the bitty boots cofty boops.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Okay, So Sunday, a mere three days ago recording this
on Wednesday, we got a huge chip enough muddy bites
in because we're talking to money bites like we want
to try them. I'm not kidding. They sent us I
think ten bags. I think that's two bags of all
five flavors. I went into so my roommate, our roommate,
Chance loves to snack. So I was like, naturally, I'm
(07:28):
gonna be like, look, you could feel free to have some,
you know. I walked to her room and I was like, look,
there's so many try them. Of course, she took one
bag out of the box. I put the nine other
ones back into the pantry. It is now three days
later and they're all gone. There's like two in a
bag somewhere and she was like ugh. I was like,
(07:49):
never mind, and she couldn't eaten all the I don't care.
I just don't take a picture of the bag.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
First. I thought I had time on board thing.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
No, she had no idea. It was actually so sad,
and it was so cute because we're, uh, we're Sydney
and I are both sitting at the table and we
were like, Chance, can you get us like the back
of the bit of boobs and she goes agains She's like, guys,
I think I ate them all And I was like, no, no,
just the bag and she's like those are gone.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
There were bags. It kills.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
It was the cutest thing, and she felt that no,
there was no way for her to note, but it
was actually so funny, Like the whole thing was very sitcommy.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
She made it into like her own checks mix, like
there was Marshmallow, make your own.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Yeah chances listening to the podcast, by the way, that
is so funny. If you miss last episode or if
you're new, Hi, I'm Sarah. That's Sydney. And we do
this mini series called Advice in Public every once in
a while where we post on our Instagram stories a
prompt where it's like, shoot your any questions about life, relationships, friends, family, work, school,
(08:54):
whatever our way, and we're gonna do our best to
pretend to be therapists and answer them just kidding, and
then you you, and we anonymously answer your questions on
the podcast, usually in like two parts, so that is
what we're doing today. This is part two.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
I'm actually kind of laughing because one I'm like reading
the questions before we start, and one of them was like,
please do a girl talk podcast. In my head, I
was like, I don't know what that means. Also, that's
every podcast, all right, Isn't that what we usually do?
Because we two girls and we're talking. But I looked
up just to like maybe I missed something, so I
looked up what is girl talk? The first definitely written
(09:30):
by a man? He said, girl talk is senseless conversation
like gossip and recipes. Right, how did you get from
gossip together and discuss.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Lots of lots of who's hot and who's not?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
What do you put in your big city hot?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I just want to know who wrote this? Oh my
god's what we're gonna bet.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
No key put That's what he said. Many put example,
he's so good, he's so bad. He does in the
sack blah blah blah what.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I just looked it up on Google. That was the
first thing that came up.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Oh, literally, like I got a birth, Yeah, I just
pooped a lot of poo and it's like, oh look
it's a wedding. Okay. So this is what Korra says.
Girl talk generally consists of things that make your average
man squirm. Why does it have to be about a man? Sorry?
Or they want to fix it and shut up already,
or they can't relate and are board to tears.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
What No, These men get angry and open core and
they're like, I gotta got a spagarette a woman today.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
This one's good. This is what Reddit says girl talk
is a term for cabble stuck, cabal caball, cable style
meetings to discuss geopolitical stressors that can be leveraged to
spark major cascading series of events. Yeah, I'm surprised to
get that from Reddit. Wait, this is so funny. Metro
says period problems, general vaginal topics as e X. There
(11:04):
will be comparisons, lack of equality, work stuff, gross beauty stuff.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Oh my god, I.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Got this, Dorcro. I shout out the other day.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Before we start say something serious.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
I don't ever been serious. She this India Tayler that
came out last.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Night, Yes, where the two guys were like eating her neck.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Yeah, I was like, ill, who are they?
Speaker 3 (11:32):
I know?
Speaker 2 (11:33):
This just makes me so sad.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
I'm so glad that she finally gets to play a
hot character because I don't know what we were doing
for the first five years since Shake it Up. There
my girl Troler look grunchy, like really cute, and so
I'm glad we got there and she's like a tennis
batty bob Rihanna was playing in the background.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
It's a girl's dream.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Who are these two random boys? I was like, we
could have gotten a little like cute mean in here.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I want to know everything that's going on. I like
the kind of gender reverse role because you know, usually
it's like the guys star with the two girls having
the three sum or whatever. So I'm really happy about that.
But also who are these men? I want to know?
Are they dating? Are they both dating her? Are they
all dating each other? Or is nobody dating? And it's
just for fundies?
Speaker 3 (12:13):
All I have to say is that as someone who
watched the whole trailer, I can tell you what the
entire movie is. Oh really, the trailer was fitting like
fifteen minutes long, and I'm telling you it was the
whole movie.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
From the gangs end.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I didn't watch the trailer. I saw like a teaser
on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
All the comments were like, I just watched the whole movie,
Like they told you every single plot point and how
it ends how.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
So don't spoil anything. But for those who haven't seen it, like,
what could you tell.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Us to expect?
Speaker 3 (12:39):
She was like a tennis player, like a big tennis player,
and she gets injured and she meets these two guys
who are also tennis players, and they're both obsessed with her.
They want both want her to be their girlfriend. She
ends up marrying one, shee's with the other, and then
she gets like badly injured. And so now like the
guys who compaints Big number one and the guy knows
(12:59):
that she cheating on him with the other guys. Oh,
that's not friends anymore. And she's a bob at the end, sickening.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
That's funny. Does you have a bob the whole thing?
Or does she get a bob as an active rebellion?
Speaker 3 (13:09):
She g's a bob after she breaks her knee. Oh,
because that's what bad you do?
Speaker 2 (13:13):
They get bobs.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Oh, hey, I got a bob recently.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I kind of have a bob. Not my choice, you bob,
you're that without a bob. That's a period. That's so
many bees bouncing.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Okay. That was our segment on TV and film and
pop culture in general culture culture Recorder Allow And that's
how Sydney.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
So next up, how to find a balance between eating healthy,
working out but also enjoyed life, drinking, et cetera. So
I've been on this journey the past few months, because you're.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Always on a journey. I like it a lot.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
It's kind of an explorer I'm an investigator.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Sorry, Yeah, that's where I've been the last like six
or so months. As I was telling everyone last season,
because I used to be the kind of girl who
never worked out. I'd work out like once every month,
and I just prayed that I would stay fit, and
you know, naturally I did not. They had like a
really bad relationship with food. Like on one end, I'd
(14:30):
be kind of personal, would eat like once a day
and maybe like chips. But on the other hand, I
would eat like five times a day because food is
my comfort. So it was a lot of trying to
figure out all of that. But I got really into
working out this year. I pretty much went almost every day,
or like four to five days a week. I'm not
going right now because my gym is being crazy, but
(14:51):
I'll go back soon.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
But I have.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
A friend who's a personal trainer, and she made me
like a personalized little.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Plan, so I knew what I had to do.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
I had options of what to do, and came more
about me committing to it. So law school's very stressful, obviously,
so it was like my one way to like kind
of regulate myself in the morning, so I wake up
at like five almost every morning it goes to the gym.
I'm the first to say I am not the kind
of person that likes the gym. I think people that
(15:22):
like working out are weird and to get checked out,
because why do you like being pushed the drink of death?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Also, why do so many people like working out like
gym rats. They're in the up in that gym for
four hours.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
I have a theory that it's impossible to like the gym,
and you just hat your gym rat. You just like
the way your body looks because of the gym. It's
what I will say, Like men that are like it
just keeps me sane. You need to go to therapy
and lifting a weight and throwing a ball are not
gonna regulate your emotions.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Oh my god, I feel like going to the gym.
We're so sorry. We don't mean it, but we did.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
No, I don't it, yeah, because I don't enjoy the
process of working out, but I do like feeling good
about myself after and like I lost a lot of
weight and as.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
You guys did, I was struggle with my but for
a while.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
So it feels nice to like have people recognize my.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Results.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Obviously, but it's more so about like feeling healthier and
knowing that working out isn't just about how your body.
You can be skinny and be unhealthy, you can be
not skinny and be healthy. So I think it's more
so about just like putting yourself in the best position
to be healthy, like mentally, physically distress and like for
long term reasons. And I'm also the kind of person.
I'm like people are like, oh my god, you can't drink,
(16:30):
Like I will say that, I would say I'm sober
curious as like to say, because I don't really like drinking.
I don't drink very often, Like when I go out,
I'll probably have like max one drink. But I'm just
not a person that enjoys drinking or the way it
makes me feel. So I think that obviously, being in
New York and being an undergrad the last four years back,
(16:53):
drinking became like a hobby, and I like obviously played
into that. But I think it took me, like exploit
my with health and with myself to realize that I
just don't like that for me, like I'll have a
glass of wine or like I'll have a drink. And
I got with my friends but like, I'm not going
to search for it or have like five drinks in
one night, just not who I am. So I think
that's kind of what helped me balance that out with
(17:13):
like eating health, you're working out.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
So I think, obviously, do what you want.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Don't think that having wandering out with your friends or
enjoying yourself or going out to eat or having a
piece of cake is going to destroy your health or
make you think that you're not going to be fit anymore.
That's not really how life works. But I think it's
realizing that life is all about balance. Need to balance
things that you want to do and enjoy doing with
trying to have healthy habits. And that's you know, working out,
(17:38):
going for a mind doing karate, doing yoga, going to
a dance class, having a salad, you know.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
So I think it's more.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
So about finding a balance that works for you instead
of trying to like follow these TikTok Instagram nutrition iss.
You have no idea what you're talking about, because obviously
nutrition is different for everyone depending on like your body size,
your ethnicity, your race, your wide composition, et cetera. So
I think it's more so figuring out what works best
for you, and not follow people who drink like chlorophyll
and stuff every morning and all this stuff because that
(18:06):
might work.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
For it, even like not really to happen.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
People are science, Yes, they're just Instagram girls who are
skinny and are fit in that.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I was about to say, Remember, like some people start
their health journeys already having like a certain societally accepted
body type, if that makes sense. So it's like if
you try chlorophyll or something like that, like a random trying,
it doesn't work for you, It's like, well it probably
didn't work for that either. They might have already just
looked that way.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Even things like el glutamine, Like elglumin's only gonna work
for you if you have semic problems. If you have
a healthy stomach, it's not gonna do anything. So you
already have gluty mean in your body. So like what
helped for me is that obviously I have like my
own training plan, but also I only followed people on
TikTok or Instagram who won are like registered dietitians, people
haven't gone through like school and training or whatever. And
(18:52):
even so I wouldn't follow every single one. I follow
ones that look like me or like have the same
body type as me, so like I can understand around
the same page here, but the same thing with TikTok
is like I don't really follow these Instagram Jim girlies
who weigh eighty pounds and work out eighteen times a week,
Like I follow people who have a normal lifestyle, go
to work and go to school and like squeeze workout
(19:13):
saying when they can because I know they have similar
lifestyle to meet and similar body types.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
So I think finding.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
What works for you personally and like what you can
align with your lifestyle is really important, not just like
following it. What's that one girl's name who's like the
ab girl like Chloe Tinge or yeah, workout Alexis Ran, Yeah,
I said high school, be like, oh, if I do
this twenty five minute ab workout with no breaks, I
look just like her. No, we have very different body types,
(19:41):
very different expectations, and I'm not gonna look like her
if I do that, And that's okay. So I don't
want to look like that. I don't look like myself,
you know. So, and just finding realistic things to work
towards and finding your own balance is important.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
I completely agree with everything you just said, and so
my advice is going to be nothing that Sinny said,
So we can have like a little bit of variety here.
The first one is something that you already touched on,
and I would say, just literally stay off TikTok and
Instagram when it comes to like day in the lives
and people who don't people who have like unrealistic standards
and stuff like that. So not only people with different
body types, I would say, which is fine to an extent,
(20:15):
but not only that. I would say, people who like,
oh my god, I just lost my train of thought.
People who oh, yeah, like do like seventy five hard
for example, and you know that that's not gonna work
with your lifestyle. It's like, don't follow people like that
because it's gonna you cannot help but compare. It's like
a human thing. So I would just say, if you
cut it out of your social media cycle in general,
it's gonna be a lot healthier for your mind. Going
(20:37):
into like my own advice, the first thing I always
tell people is to listen to your body, because if
your body is tired and doesn't want to go to
the gym, it'll tell you like it's okay. To take
a day off. It's okay to take like a couple
of days off. It's okay to take a week off
if you really need it, like if you're going through something,
or if you're just not like if you're just tired.
Maybe you couldn't sleep last night, maybe something happened, like
(20:58):
I don't know. There are so many reasons why your
body would tell you it wants a pizza, or why
your body would tell you it wants a salad, or
why your body would be like I need to get
up and move right now, or I need a nap,
et cetera. It's like I would say, don't feel bad
for like wanting to do on paper unhealthy things, because
sometimes your body just like literally needs that. Also, the
(21:18):
two things that are often so underrated is drinking water
and getting enough sleep. Get eight hours of sleep. I
promise you it is going to change your life if
you do not. Already, some people can't because they have
sleeping issues. Some people say sleeping pills great, But like people,
if you do, if you have a capability to have
like a normal sleeping cycle and you don't, I promise
it'll change your life. I did not have a healthy
(21:39):
sleeping cycle in college, like in the earlier years, and
in senior year, I learned what rem was. And now
it's just like I feel so much healthier, I feel
so much more awake. I drink less coffee. I just
like feel less anxious, less jittery. So just like drinking
enough water is so important. So you can tell you
about that she carries she used to carry around like
this huge water bottle with like marks about how many
(22:00):
what is it like leaders you're supposed to drink a day?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Why was that I had to drink a certain amount
by a certain time, which was cute, but I had
to pee every four seconds.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
So also I know that the question mentioned drinking. Certain
alcohols are healthier and have less sugar and less calories
than other alcohols do. For example, white claus they only
have one hundred calories. Te Kila sodas at a bar
like one of the healthiest drinks you can get at
a bar. Like Obviously alcohol isn't inherently healthy, but if
you are trying to like change some dietary things, that's
going on, Like there are healthier alcohols than others. It's
(22:30):
just a fact. I would also say, speaking of like sharing,
a common goal with people, have healthy people in your life.
I remember, like when I had a toxic friend group,
my lifestyle choices got so much better upon entering a
healthier friend group, upon dating someone who is like healthier
for me, and just like changing my mindset in general,
if you have healthy people in your life that reflect
(22:51):
your goals and your morals and your values, that helps
a ton.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Also.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I think we actually have this as an episode planned
for the next few weeks about alcohol and soberness, but
I will say just very quickly because we'll probably go
into more depth about this in later episodes. One thing
that helped for me is like when I go out
with my friends, I would often ask myself like why
am I drinking? True, like, am I drinking because I
(23:16):
want to? Or because I think I needed to have
fun or all because my friends are doing it? And
it ended up being.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Probably the latter.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
So when I go out and now I just get
a coke and it's like, no one asks me why
I'm not drinking, I save so much money, I still
have fun, I feel like myself and wake up feeling happy, dappy,
not hungover, and I'll just order a regular coke and
I feel great.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
So that's something that I do honestly.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Also, the sober curious, like honest conversation about drinking episode
is going to be so cool as people who have
different not like outlooks on drinking, but different lifestyle choices
with drinking, like Sydney definitely drinks less than I do,
and we choose to do like different activities on the weekends,
like I more inhabit bars and stuff like that. That's
going to be interesting too, two perspectives, So look out
(24:02):
for that episode because that's coming soon.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
I think best New York City apartment hunting tips. Okay,
that's a fat and glass of water.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
I know I have two glasses of water that I
was wondering that.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
After I go up and get one, I was like,
do you have two glasses of water?
Speaker 1 (24:17):
I would say to start just like after thinking about
it a little. One thing I would say is beware
if you are apartment hunting in this summer. Sidney and
I have never not apartment hunted in the summer, and
we've had to learn a few different things. One is
that it is the definition of rush hour with apartment hunting.
Everybody is looking for an apartment in the summer. That
means more broker's fees, more competition, more stressed in general,
(24:41):
and if you have to do it, you have to
do it. Sydney and I always have. But just like
be forewarned, also speaking about broker's fees, be careful that
you don't get scammed because Sydney and I, I'll give
like a personal anecdote, then I'll be done with my
portion of the question answering. Sydney and Chance and I,
we're looking for an apartment. This one streen Easy listing
(25:02):
did not say it didn't have a broker's fee, but
it didn't say that it does have one, which usually
they do have to kind of disclaim that on the listing.
So we were really excited. We kind of assumed there
wasn't a broker's fee because when the broker showed us
the apartment and we were texting whatever, like, he didn't
mention it at all, and then we sent in our applications.
We were like this close to getting the apartment basically
(25:23):
in the process, and he texts us and he's like, oh,
it's okay if like my broker's fee is two months
rent plus security, right, And we were like, uh no,
we thought there wasn't one because you never brought one up.
There wasn't one. Listen on the little of whatever home. Big
misunderstanding on his part, for sure, but he was so
rude about it, turned into such an asshole when we
didn't agree. And I would say, just look out for
stuff like that. Also budget for it because especially in
(25:46):
the summer, brokers fees are going to be there, and
they're going to be there most of the time summer
or not, because it's New York City and it's going
to be expensive. But like, just budget for it because
most of the time it's one month's rent plus like
security deposits. So just keep that in mind. And not
even I'm not talking about a broker that you have individually,
like just for you. A broker that may not even
come to your listing is going to charge your broker speed.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Okay, I'm gonna rapid fire. Random things go one.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Like I said about summer, yes, most people do move
here in the summer because it's intern season, so people
will be cycling out. So while yes it's kind of
hard to find an apartment in the summer, that doesn't
mean there's more. There's more listings in general.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
More competition, but more listings.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Yeah, like there's more apartments being listed at the end
of the summer because people are leaving one.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Two.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Oh, that's such a good tip. End of the summer
is the sweet spot, like August September because of school
and interns. That's so true.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
People are like all moving out same in the graduation
season people, while people a leaving New York because of school.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
So look then two.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
New York is not like any other city most cities,
you'd look months before you move at New York.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
At New York. In New York, usually.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
The listing will say that you have to move in
the next like it's either available now or the next
two weeks. So if you're not ready to move in now,
you're gonna be wasting your money. So are looking like
the month or a few weeks before you're going to
move to New York or remove apartments.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Three. Every apartment has a broker's fee.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
The only difference is is that especially during COVID but
still somehow in some places it's still frequent is that
the landlords will just pay the brokers fee on their own.
That's not as common anymore, so do expect the broker's fee.
It's usually like a month's rent or a month's rent
plus something like this, or like fifteen percent of a
year's fee something like that. Is a lot of money
and it's really annoying to put it with remains. Four,
(27:28):
do not get a one bedroom or a studio if
you can live with someone else, like get a two better,
three better, be a lot cheaper. And there's also areas
in New York they're cheaper, Like we live on the
Upper West Side slash Harlem area, and if when I
tell people that rent that we're paying, even people that
live on like school Housing or my friends who live
in like West Village, they're like their jaws dropped because
we're paying literally half of what they're paying for apartment
(27:50):
three times to size because we look, we're in an
area that's cheaper than where they are, like East Village,
West Village, Chelsea, Lower East Side right now aren't all insane,
so if we want to live there, prepared pay eight
thousand dollars for a two bedroom apartment.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Six. Real estate agents here can sometimes be kind.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Of mean, but some of them are really really helpful,
Like there are some who have been like reached out
to about one apartment and they sit me like ten
others and they're very like willing to help. So it
just find someone that works with you or like rifted
your group what you're looking for.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yeah, that's why I have.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
That was good, really rapid fire. I liked it.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Okay, situationship calls me his girlfriend, but never has actually
asked me.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
I looll what do I do? It's like weird now?
Is that?
Speaker 3 (28:34):
I feel like when I was like eight, I thought
that like whenyone composed to you for you to be
their girlfriend, And it is a little bit weird because
like half my friends that do have boyfriends or partners
or girlfriends, there was like a very formal asking of
like would you like to be my girlfriend, with like
flowers and a cake, But the other half they just
start calling each other that and there wasn't really anything formal.
(28:56):
But I think that like the rules we're getting right
now are so convoluted that there isn't really like one
set way do things. I think it's more so like
a conversation that has to be had, so they'll just
pull them aside and be like so like are we
official now?
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Are we exclusive? Are we doping? A girlfriend?
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Like whatever and have it be done that way, because
some people won't really ask if.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Like they need to if it feels natural. Agreed. Also,
congrats must be nice.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
No, that's so funny. I would say it depends on
what you want the outcome to be. Do you want
to actually be like the girlfriend or do you want
to just keep things casual. I've been in that situation before,
and I would say, like, this seems like the most
obvious solution, but just like have a conversation and be like, oh,
so we never really talked about this, Like if you
want to actually be the girlfriend, that's awesome, And I
(29:44):
would just say, like leave it alone then, or maybe
still bring it up and be like, oh, yeah, you
never actually asked me blah blah blah blahcause that might
give him some incentive to do something about it, like
take you out to a nice dinner and ask or whatever.
Or I would say, if you did want to keep
things casual, be like, hey, I really appreciate you wanting
to you like take things forward and move progress in
the relationship, and I really like where we're at, but
(30:06):
I do need to take things slow. And it's not
that I want to stop seeing you make that very clear,
because men do not understand that sometimes be like, it's
not that I want to stop seeing you, it's just that, like,
I like where we are, and I would like to
stay here for a little bit and just appreciate the
time that we have, and I don't want to move
too fast because that might overall like affect the relationship,
if that makes sense. And I like you and I
want to keep doing what we're doing. Oh, no one's
(30:28):
ever told me that, aw Sydney, I like you, and
I want to keep doing what we're doing. And I know,
I feel like if we were all lesbians thing be
things would be so.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Much easier, you know, I do. I do wonder because
these men.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
It's so funny. This one girl posted on TikTok the
other day. She was like, oh, you know, all my
straight girlfriends are always like I wish I liked girls
and all this stuff because they think women are more
emotionally like in tune and it's not true. I'm here
to debunk it, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Being friends are like, don't do it.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Yeah, no, for sure, exactly, I agree, or yeah, like
I do too, And it was just funny to hear. Oh,
I'm like, great, we're all screwed. Doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I just turned twenty. Oh this isn't this is another question.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Sorry, yeah, I like to launch, you know, get right
on in there.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Hey, next question. I just turned twenty and I'm a virgin.
I've always wanted my first time to be meaningful, but
I feel so late.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
What should I do?
Speaker 1 (31:22):
That's an Agel predicament. I would say, watch the TV
show What Is It? Tell me lies, because just not
for like anyway, no, not for like advice, but just
so you know you do not feel the aloneness. I
would say watch that TV show because there was the
one girl in it who went to college and she
was like she felt like really out of the loop
(31:43):
because everyone had sex in high school and she was like,
oh my god, I need to do right now. Don't
ever feel like pressured to match this kind of societally
expected lose your virginity moment, because everybody has a different experience,
and it's just it's so not fair to compare yourself,
especially regarding sex. Sex is so it's just different. It's
very vulnerable, and you do have to like treat your
(32:05):
body like something that is very special. Because it is
and everyone everyone deserves to just like be on their
own time with sex in particular and like with their body.
So that includes like any sexual activity, masturbation, et cetera.
Like you are on your own clock. I would say,
you can look up advice and stuff on the internet
or like porn or whatever. Just actually just I don't know,
get tips or something, but don't feel pressure. That's the
(32:27):
first thing I would say. And second of all, everybody
who loses their virginity for the first time, I feel like,
has a different experience. Some are just Some are like
my first time was so bad, wish I'd never done it.
Some are like my first time was so bad, but
I'm happy I got it over with so I could
start being good at sex. Other people have been like
my first time was so good, sligh, Like really, I mean,
everybody has a different experience, but you are absolutely not
(32:48):
alone for sure. Like I know a lot of people
who have not lost their virginity yet and I'm twenty two,
So I would sayn't worry about it and try to relax.
I know it's hard in a society that perpetuates losing
your virginity at like sixteen, but I would say, just
take a deep breath, you know, try to find some
other stories like yours on the internet, and appreciate your
sexuality because it's it's something really special.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Girl. You're literally missing nothing.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Don't feel like you're rushing or like you're late, because
I think once you add like physical intimacy to things,
while it is like a beautiful thing with the right
person and also complicates a lot in your life, a lot.
Tell you have your first opijuean appointment, you're gonna feel violated,
but whatever. Yeah, So don't feel like you're late, Like
you're on your own timeline. Like I didn't even have
(33:32):
my first kiss until senior year of high school, and
I thought that I was late, and trust me, I
could have waited another five years. So don't feel like
you're late whatsoever. And like Sarah said, like some people
do value it, Like I thought, I want to mind
to be meaningful. I don't even speak to the person anymore,
So I feel like, don't make it in your head
in sense of like it needs to be meaningful at
(33:53):
a certain time or like with a certain person or
like whatever.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
I think, just do it on your own time. That's
what's important.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Like some people, like Sarah said, don't think it's meaningful.
Some people do, some people want it to get over with,
some people don't. So I feel like, don't try and
more what you're doing to other people's expectations. Keep your
own at the forefront, because if you don't want, you
don't want to.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
If you do, you do.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Yeah, So as long as you're like being safe and
it's on your own time and you feel safe, then
like that's really all that matters.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
You're not really.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Late, behind ahead like whatsoever, because really, who are we
competing against?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
You know?
Speaker 3 (34:28):
So yeah, I say to do on your own timeline
and when you're ready, you're ready.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
You know.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Also one more thing, want one personal advice anecdote is
and try to read between the lines here. It will
be very easy, is that I if I were to
advise you, I'm not a sex therapist. I don't know everything.
But what really helped me with my first time was
getting to know yourself before you get to know yourself
(34:54):
with somebody else, Do you know what I mean? It
really helps on a lot of levels. It helps with
your confidence, it helps with your big oh, it helps
with all the little o's. It really does, and it
made me feel better going into it. So that's my
very like personal.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
You advice you look in other context, I feel like,
especially at our age or like where we're at, it's
very easy to get taken advantage of if you don't
know what it's supposed to be going on. And I
feel like, even when I was nineteen, whatever is that
it's supposed to happen like this, Like it's fine, but
(35:26):
like no, I wanted to have a very certain way
because it's my body, you know. So I think just
being comfortable with yourself, knowing what you're expecting, it's really
really important kind of like Sarah said, but yeah, and
don't ever be afraid to say no, no, no, no, no no no.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
I wish so that Sydney's favorite ord literally na so
and I respect her for it. Also, if you are
going to do internet research, because I know that I
mentioned it before, but I do want to clarify there
are a ton of women run led just like women
involved sites out there that you can get this information from.
Don't go on like Cosmopolitan please, Like I mean not
that cosmopolitesn't isn't woman led or like obviously women work there,
(36:01):
but just like it's such basic advice. I would say,
if you really want to get to the nitty gritty
of things, make sure you're getting your sources not from
a man.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Even terms of like safety, like even planned parenthood has
like a lot of information, like different options you can
take to make sure that you're safe and things like that.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Yeah, you're that.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
The person said, I like this boy, but he's really
shy and awkward, but I want to talk to him.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
How do I start things? What should I do?
Speaker 3 (36:24):
I love awkward people, and it's weird because some days
I'm an introvert. Some days I'm an extrovert. As you
all know, it depends on how I woke up. Like
I said earlier about first dates, I am such an
extra on first dates and a lot of the guys
that go out with because I like intellectual men are
very awkward and shy, and I love it. I think
it's so fun and I think that For example, like
(36:46):
I went on a date like last week and the
guy's a little bit older, but he's so attractive, so nice,
but it's such good conversation, and I literally asked him.
I was like why are you single? Like I'm just
a little bit confused, and he was like, well, it's
actually I'm very shy and very offend awkward, and I
just like don't want to go up to people to
meet them, So it's a little bit awkward sometimes, like
getting comfortable with someone I would have never known because
(37:08):
we were talking for literally like three and a half
hours about like film movies, like all this stuff, and
I would have never thought that he was awkward whatsoever.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
I think that.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
Sometimes it just takes someone taking them out of their shell,
and that's like as easy as going up someone and
be like hi, like how are you blah blah blah whatever.
And like my old the Room mccamps will tell you,
like all of the people that were quote unquote awkward
or shy in our high school I was so close
with because I love talking to people who are shy,
and I remember I told a start in the podcast
before I think, but at my high school graduation there
(37:37):
was a kid who was like vary into like anime
and video games. I didn't really talk that much, and
he was our class speaker. I don't really know why. Actually,
I think he's like signed up and people voted or something,
and he said in his speech he was.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Like, I was so awkward at the school.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
I guy really feel comfortable, Like I didn't know anyone
I came in because like my school was like K
through twelve, and so he's like, I came in a
lot layer and everyone else have a lot of friends.
But there's one person who would always talk to me
in our science class. And it's funny because like when
this was happening, I was like, this kid has to
hate meings I would just literally blab my mouth to
him every single day.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
I bet he really appreciated that.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
Honestly, he would just look at me, so I'd be like, okay, whatever,
Oh that's so funny. And then he said in this
speech that like even though I might not have seemed
like he appreciated it, it made the difference in him
like being comfortable here. And I if you look at
my guys from picts, I was really sobbing in the
front row because he meant my name or whatever. So
I think just it takes like it might seem like
they're not really receptive, but I think just extending a hand,
(38:35):
like a kind word, just being like, hi, how are
you starting a conversation will make the role of a difference,
because sometimes they're just introverted in the sense that they
don't really know you. I know this is like situation,
But once you get comfortable with them, like they'll open
up like a little book.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
I know.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
I completely agree. I have this little game that I
like to play when I meet shy people for the
first time is I like to break them, which sounds
really bad, but it don't mean like at all. I
don't know it's likely if it's a person that won't
give me a smile, I kind of like to just
try and make them smile as much as possible, and
I consider it a personal accomplishment when they end up
do smiling or like laughing or just letting loose a
(39:09):
little bit. I love shit like that because I think
everybody needs to be able to feel comfortable, like in
their own skin, and I like helping with that process.
One thing about Sidney and I that I think is
one of our best soft skills and qualities in general,
is that we make people feel very comfortable about themselves,
from just being nice and consider it on one level,
to asking a bunch of questions making the other person
(39:29):
feel like important because they are. It's very and you
don't get that a lot in society. I feel like,
because we are a shallow people as like a community,
as a universe, and I think getting down to the
nitty gritty and making other people feel like they can
be vulnerable in front of you is a really good
skill to have. Whether it's a job interview or just
someone you're meeting for the first time, or that shy
(39:49):
kid in your class. It's like, no, I mean, we
can drop the mask for a second actually be ourselves.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
It's good. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
I think vulnerability takes comfort, and if you provide that
comfort is someone that'll open up. But yeah, people are
so funny and like I'm like I said earlier, like
I don't know if you were extravert, I like, I'm
just overt. I'm so awkward, Like I'm the kind of
person we're like if I don't know what to say,
I just say every single thought that comes.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
Into my head and everyone's like, oh wow, okay.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
So it could be one of those situations where like
I come off as awkward, but I'm not in my head,
so that's really all that matters. So sometimes they might
seem awkward, might just be like, DIY donerally know how
to approach your personality or how to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
So long did you make me feel comfortable? Should be fine?
Speaker 1 (40:31):
I'm awkward and very specific scenarios like yeah, scenario no,
Like what was that one situation where oh, I'm okay.
This is when I'm awkward. I just remembered I'm awkward
when I can't hear you because I feel a bad
hearing and I am never awkward. I'm such an extrovert.
(40:51):
I think I took the test and I was like
ninety eight percent extrovert, which is actually frightening, and that's
why I annoyed people. But when I cannot hear you,
because I have bad here because I listen to music
on high and I'm gonna regret that when I'm older.
But when I can't hear you, my eyes go glossy
and my mind goes blank. And instead of asking what
I just say, I like respond with what I think
(41:13):
you said, And nine percent of the time I'm wrong.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
What was that one thing we were at where she's like,
you can't tell you, there's nothing behind them eyes.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
She's nodding to smile on her face.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
My eyes go glossy.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Where were we or the restaurant?
Speaker 1 (41:27):
Yeah, when.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
I take your plate, she's like, I ordered lobster And
he was like what she just said there, smiling, and
I was like, oh see, that's the thing. Is like,
even though most like confident and extroverted people are awkward too.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Yeah, so exactly and just like very major lewk and
oh I'm clumsy. That's another way that I'm awkward. Like
I drop things and I spilled things on myself a lot,
so that can be very awkward when you're in like
a party or a room full of people.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
I don't know, Like when I talk to men, most
women have that thing in your brain that's like, hey,
don't you that.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Yeah, I don't have that.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
You don't have it? Is it called a filter? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (42:03):
Not even say that.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
I filter sometimes, Like when I'm mad, I just say
whatever I want to say.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
I've heard you say some like horrific things when you're mad.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
At somebody, okay, or context.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
Like your sister or something.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Oh that's different.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Yeah, yeah, he's not a bully, I promise, that's not
what I meant.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
But there are two people in this world I have
ever gotten that mad at and it's my ex because
he was awful me to me and deserved it.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
And my sister because she's a sister. We're good nat.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Okay, good. That is so funny. I keep getting these
dms from promoters and they're like Ainsworth after Dark. Uh literally,
no oh, I saw this hilarious video. This is just
this is our last side. This hilarious video on TikTok
where this guy was filming the line outside of Hair
(42:51):
of the Dog and then he put the camera on
himself and goes these people like who in their right
minds things? I just gotta go to the Hair of
the Dog tonight. I just have to get in there
so badly.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
I let him maybe laugh.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
He has the funniest content, like here's that chanel going
up in Williamsburg.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
And he was like, thank you.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
It's not him, But I get why you thought it
was him, because I love him too.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
He did the original video. The guy who I know
they're talking about the just posted that. Yes, everything he
did not in that video is your copying this exact
video that he made.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Cause that's why Vil mcclint talk is the other guy.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
I know, that's why he went viral, But I didn't.
Speaker 3 (43:25):
Know like worry for word the exact same video. Really
yeah that t tat drama for yesterday.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Wait, that's crazy, why would you do that?
Speaker 3 (43:32):
And he ran from Montalk to Manhattan for like no reason,
so I love him.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
That's so funny. Oh yeah, isn't he a runner? The
original guy who did the video?
Speaker 2 (43:40):
But like, for fun, that's like one hundred and thirty
one miles.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
See like people like that. I don't. I don't know
about you.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
You scared me, Like why you? Why would you? What
would possess you to do that? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Okay, last question, Yes, we have time for one more
advice on making new friends while staying true to yourself
as a freshman in college.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Oh that's a really sweet question. I did not do that,
so I would say, like what not to do is
settled down too quickly, so I would say the same
goes with relationships and friend groups. I was friends and
formed a really toxic friend group with the people who
I met day one, And I would say, while that
(44:16):
does work out for some people, like some people who
I know really well have been friends or like are
still acquaintances with people they met on like day one
at NYU, but for me personally, in college, that friend
group turned out to be one of the worst things
that ever happened to me for so many reasons, like
they introduced me to my toxic X and they whatever.
Like it was just an awful situation all around. And
I would just say, like, keep your keep an open mind,
(44:38):
like don't not go to like plans with somebody else
because you're so focused on like this one friend group
that you met day one of college. So I would say,
keep an open mind. Don't settle down with one friend
group like too soon. I would say, behavior is key,
Like that phrase you are who your friends are rings
so true. So like my friend group. That's another thing
(44:59):
about my old friend group, because they were into a
lot of bad stuff. And I'm not going to be specific,
but I'm sure you guys know it's freshman year of college,
et cetera. Like I also was kind of not like forced,
but like peer pressure to take part in those activities
a little bit to hang out with these people. So
it was just very like I would say, make sure
that the people align with your morals and values, and
if not, it is truly time to find another friend group.
(45:19):
Like I swear you are not destined to have like certain.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
Type of friends.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Pick the friends who you feel align best with, like
your personality, your going out habits, and your core morals
and values because think about it, you are going to
a new place for the first time, most likely moving
out of your new home, most likely moving to a
new city. If you don't have your morals and values,
what do you have?
Speaker 2 (45:40):
You know?
Speaker 3 (45:41):
My one thing is the power of no I so
i because if it's to be a very rare trait
that I have, all people don't have it.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
I do not get fomo ugually do not care.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Oh it's the best, like hearing about Sydney's no fomo
is it's awesome because I have major pomo.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Like a lot of people will put themselves in situation
where they shouldn't be or aren't comfortable because they're scared
of missing out. Put in my head on, like what
am I missing out on? I love my bed, I'm
good Like so when people would like participate in things
that I'm not comfortable in the power of being like okay, cool,
I'm a head out, We're like I don't want to
do that.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
I'm not going to go. It's so simple.
Speaker 3 (46:18):
People just don't I don't know, but I think the
power of no is a very important thing to discover
the power of at a very early time. And so
people are doing things you're not comfortable with. Peace out,
Like what are you really missing?
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Nothing?
Speaker 3 (46:31):
So I think keep that in mind. You can always
say no to people. And like Sarah said, like sometimes
your people come in a later time, So don't feel
like pressure to be in a group of people that
don't align with like your values or your beliefs, just
because you want to have people to hang out with,
Like they'll come in due time.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
I promise you're not tied down to anything a man,
a school, a girl, friends, family.
Speaker 3 (46:52):
I got really involved my first year at NYU, Like
I joined the residence council. I was on like IRC,
which is like all the resident council, the one from
my door. Civically, I was on my school student council,
so I can meet people and a lot of my
friends I still talk too. I met through through that
as well as my class. Is just like talking to people.
(47:13):
So I promise you will find your people. It's times
you can meet them in the most random of places too,
So remember.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
That, And I would say to go along with Sydney's
advice of the power of no equally as important as
the power of yes in some scenarios when it comes
to doing things that put you out of your comfort zone,
like being adventurous, and I mean especially if you're going
to college in a big city, which is one thing
I learned. It's like I did a lot of things
that I don't regret because I said yes to something
(47:39):
that I wouldn't usually say yes to. So I would say, like,
don't do it because you're scared of missing out. Do
it because it's something you want to do, and just
like just challenge yourself a little get and get out
of your comfort zone. That is what college is all
about in the end, and study. Don't forget to study,
and please don't forget to learn stuff. People go to
college and they're a freshmen, and it's also exciting that
they forget that why they're there. And that happened to
(48:01):
me definitely. I can speak from experience. So find passion
in like your school work, because it's not going to
be fun unless you do that either. And that is
all I have to say.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
It's very weird. Undergrad was easier for me than high school.
I don't really know why.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
But oh I agree. Yeah, undergrad is easier for me
than high school. Once I stopped making bad decisions.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
It's okay because then law school came along and hit
me in the face of this foot.
Speaker 2 (48:25):
You know I'll endue.
Speaker 1 (48:26):
Time, all right, you guys, That is about all the
time we have left. We will do another Advice in
Public next season, so stay tuned for that. We love you.
Make sure to follow us on Crying in Public Instagram
and TikTok Socials, Crying in Public podcast and you can
listen to us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get
your podcasts. Of course, we are crying in Public. Thank you,
(48:48):
good night, goodbye,
Hey, so what's going on.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I'm gonna share what just occurred.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I think you should.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Everything I learned about Sarah's against my will.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
That's a good way of putting it.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I'm just going to start by saying that. So today
I left my room for the first time in like a.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Week, and you regretted it.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Regretted it instantly because my room gets actually no natural light.
So I came out here to get the one percon
natal light our living room gets. And I keep hearing
like digging noises coming from Sarah's room and like very
deep sighs or like grunts, and I'm like, first I
was like, do.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I want to know what she's doing?
Speaker 3 (00:59):
And then I start to like remember or like familiarize
myself with the noises.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
It was before she heard the noises. The more she's like,
I feel familiar, Yeah, like I've done this is familiar.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
I was like, there's no way I thought instantly of
cash Cow the Webkins game, because like the noises were
like so justsay, were like not like meyowing.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
It was like some animal noise.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
And then like a ding yeah, And I was like,
is she playing cash Cow from Webkins? It's like the
most deep size, like this girl's wearing a marathon or something.
I was like, what is she doing? I was losing
and I texted her like four times. She didn't response.
I'm like, is she going through something in her room?
Like what is happening? Finally she emerges she's playing what
What's What's the game?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
So it's a Webkins arcade game called Pizza Pal.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
How do you have a Webkins account? Which I have
to buy an animal to get one?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
No, you don't have to know. That used to be
the case, but now you can just get one for
free on the thing because it's not really.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
How did you come to find this information?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
So I really wanted like, Okay, so recently I've been
through a tragedy and after that, I was kind of
like I need to do something to take my mind
off like everything and something super childihood ish. So I
was looking for Club Penguin and then I was looking
for Pixie Hollow and I couldn't find either one of them.
They don't have online games anymore or they did, and
(02:13):
like now they're on the internet. Yeah and then yeah,
so then I found Webkins and to my delight, to
my extreme delight, the app was available for tabloads. So
I got a bunny and I downloaded it and now
I really like to play the arcade game Pizza Palace,
(02:34):
and I have like cash on there, like they gave
me free cash, and now I.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Just have it.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
I will say, my password for everything that I own
is the code from my first webkins because my parents
were divorced, so I memorized it so I could log
onto it on my other parents computer.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
It's my password for everything.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Still, WHOA, that's a long password.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Yeah, I never forgot it, but I will say that's
very weird.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I know.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
I made a comment about some did like Obscure Disney
movie the other day when Sarah and her boyfriend were here,
and he like just casually like named the movie and
the scene I was talking about. I was like what
he was of me? And Sarah just watched it. I
was like, Oh, that's also slightly weird.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Was it was it Princess and the Frog?
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I think it was.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
I think it was.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
But like I if I asked any other twenty five
year old man a question about the new Prince and
the Frog, like the animated version, and they were like
this happened, I would be like, oh, what.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
No, it's very strange. I don't know. I admit that
it's weird for sure. I regret everything, but I don't know,
it makes you feel better.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
So when he so, I gotta, I just kind of
knoway in your relationship, was it like a conversation where
you were like, I very much enjoy Disney and childlike things,
or you just kind of like, like, just do it.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
I eased him into it so on like one of
our first couple of dates, I was like, I really
like Disney and like I like to go to Disney whatever.
But I so I'm not weird, Like I'm not like
a Disney adult, right, I lied, okay, And then but
I introduced him to the concept that I like Disney,
and he was like, Okay, that's totally normal. And then
as we continue dating, I kind of introduced more and
more red flags into the relationship regarding Disney, and I
(04:14):
think he just kind of accepted it at one point,
you know. And so now he knows the full scale
of like the Upkins games, like the Disney trips and everything,
and he's not weird it out because I didn't hard
launch it. I soft launched it into the relationship and
that's my advice to everybody. If you have something weird
about you, I would never just tell anybody straight up.
I would just like ease them into it because it helps.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
The weird thing is my personality, so I can't real that.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Yeah, no, you're screwed. No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
It's personality.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Well, Like, when I go on first dates, it's actually
very interesting because I not, like I happen on a
lot of them. If I had to do the math,
it'd probably be depressing, so I'm not going to. But
I have like a nine to nine percent success rate
on my side. Like I'm so good at first dating
because I have no like filter, Like I just like
to talk to people and I think it goes well,
and like I think that they think it goes well.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
So why don't I have a boyfriend. I can always
chalk it up to my personality.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
For some weird reason, I've never been able to picture
you on a first date. I've been able to picture
you on dates, but never on a first date, do
you know what I mean? Like, I can't because I
think we're so close that I can't And same with
our roommate chance, like I can never imagine them meeting
somebody for the first time.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
It's like.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
It's like I get so comfortable. Okay, if it's a girl,
I get kind of scared because like girls are like scared.
I don't know, not that they go out for stake
to the girls. I mean like meeting girls. Yeah, like
my girl, like my friend's girlfriends.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Are more girls girls, I feel like.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
So that's also.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
But if it's like a romantic setting, like I have
no problem. I'm comfortable out the bat. I'm never uncomfortable
even if the guy's like really really weird. I know
that I'm cool, so I just like bring the coolness.
It's the conversation.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I mean, your name is Sidney Winter. Like, imagine how
much dominating that is to go on a first date
with Sydney Winter. Yeah, I strongly believe that thank you.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Are we talking about I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
No, you should never give up that you're weird on
the first date, only like the fourth or the fifth date,
and then.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
When you do ease it and slowly Yeah, it's it's
just weird though, because I feel like I can just
bring it. I bring what needs to be brought to
the first date and then I'm kind of like, Okay,
why aren't you obsessed with me? And I get concerned
my personalities in my face.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
And then you get the ick that they're not like
I would kill myself to be with you.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
It was like the ones I end up?
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Do you liking me? I'm like, that was the worst
first date ever? Why would you want to do that
and see me again?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I don't want to see you again? So why why
is this happening?
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Who said that? One of our ex podcast hosts said that,
like they want a guy to like kill themselves over her,
and I was like, I don't actually say that yet.
I don't know about that one.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
That makes no sense, no sense, no money.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Sorry I had I don't know what's wrong with me today?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Oh you know what we have to talk about? The
the bitty boots cofty boops.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Okay, So Sunday, a mere three days ago recording this
on Wednesday, we got a huge chip enough muddy bites
in because we're talking to money bites like we want
to try them. I'm not kidding. They sent us I
think ten bags. I think that's two bags of all
five flavors. I went into so my roommate, our roommate,
Chance loves to snack. So I was like, naturally, I'm
(07:28):
gonna be like, look, you could feel free to have some,
you know. I walked to her room and I was like, look,
there's so many try them. Of course, she took one
bag out of the box. I put the nine other
ones back into the pantry. It is now three days
later and they're all gone. There's like two in a
bag somewhere and she was like ugh. I was like,
(07:49):
never mind, and she couldn't eaten all the I don't care.
I just don't take a picture of the bag.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
First. I thought I had time on board thing.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
No, she had no idea. It was actually so sad,
and it was so cute because we're, uh, we're Sydney
and I are both sitting at the table and we
were like, Chance, can you get us like the back
of the bit of boobs and she goes agains She's like, guys,
I think I ate them all And I was like, no, no,
just the bag and she's like those are gone.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
There were bags. It kills.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
It was the cutest thing, and she felt that no,
there was no way for her to note, but it
was actually so funny, Like the whole thing was very sitcommy.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
She made it into like her own checks mix, like
there was Marshmallow, make your own.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Yeah chances listening to the podcast, by the way, that
is so funny. If you miss last episode or if
you're new, Hi, I'm Sarah. That's Sydney. And we do
this mini series called Advice in Public every once in
a while where we post on our Instagram stories a
prompt where it's like, shoot your any questions about life, relationships, friends, family, work, school,
(08:54):
whatever our way, and we're gonna do our best to
pretend to be therapists and answer them just kidding, and
then you you, and we anonymously answer your questions on
the podcast, usually in like two parts, so that is
what we're doing today. This is part two.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
I'm actually kind of laughing because one I'm like reading
the questions before we start, and one of them was like,
please do a girl talk podcast. In my head, I
was like, I don't know what that means. Also, that's
every podcast, all right, Isn't that what we usually do?
Because we two girls and we're talking. But I looked
up just to like maybe I missed something, so I
looked up what is girl talk? The first definitely written
(09:30):
by a man? He said, girl talk is senseless conversation
like gossip and recipes. Right, how did you get from
gossip together and discuss.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Lots of lots of who's hot and who's not?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
What do you put in your big city hot?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I just want to know who wrote this? Oh my
god's what we're gonna bet.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
No key put That's what he said. Many put example,
he's so good, he's so bad. He does in the
sack blah blah blah what.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I just looked it up on Google. That was the
first thing that came up.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Oh, literally, like I got a birth, Yeah, I just
pooped a lot of poo and it's like, oh look
it's a wedding. Okay. So this is what Korra says.
Girl talk generally consists of things that make your average
man squirm. Why does it have to be about a man? Sorry?
Or they want to fix it and shut up already,
or they can't relate and are board to tears.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
What No, These men get angry and open core and
they're like, I gotta got a spagarette a woman today.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
This one's good. This is what Reddit says girl talk
is a term for cabble stuck, cabal caball, cable style
meetings to discuss geopolitical stressors that can be leveraged to
spark major cascading series of events. Yeah, I'm surprised to
get that from Reddit. Wait, this is so funny. Metro
says period problems, general vaginal topics as e X. There
(11:04):
will be comparisons, lack of equality, work stuff, gross beauty stuff.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Oh my god, I.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Got this, Dorcro. I shout out the other day.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Before we start say something serious.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
I don't ever been serious. She this India Tayler that
came out last.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Night, Yes, where the two guys were like eating her neck.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Yeah, I was like, ill, who are they?
Speaker 3 (11:32):
I know?
Speaker 2 (11:33):
This just makes me so sad.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
I'm so glad that she finally gets to play a
hot character because I don't know what we were doing
for the first five years since Shake it Up. There
my girl Troler look grunchy, like really cute, and so
I'm glad we got there and she's like a tennis
batty bob Rihanna was playing in the background.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
It's a girl's dream.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Who are these two random boys? I was like, we
could have gotten a little like cute mean in here.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I want to know everything that's going on. I like
the kind of gender reverse role because you know, usually
it's like the guys star with the two girls having
the three sum or whatever. So I'm really happy about that.
But also who are these men? I want to know?
Are they dating? Are they both dating her? Are they
all dating each other? Or is nobody dating? And it's
just for fundies?
Speaker 3 (12:13):
All I have to say is that as someone who
watched the whole trailer, I can tell you what the
entire movie is. Oh really, the trailer was fitting like
fifteen minutes long, and I'm telling you it was the
whole movie.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
From the gangs end.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I didn't watch the trailer. I saw like a teaser
on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
All the comments were like, I just watched the whole movie,
Like they told you every single plot point and how
it ends how.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
So don't spoil anything. But for those who haven't seen it, like,
what could you tell.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Us to expect?
Speaker 3 (12:39):
She was like a tennis player, like a big tennis player,
and she gets injured and she meets these two guys
who are also tennis players, and they're both obsessed with her.
They want both want her to be their girlfriend. She
ends up marrying one, shee's with the other, and then
she gets like badly injured. And so now like the
guys who compaints Big number one and the guy knows
(12:59):
that she cheating on him with the other guys. Oh,
that's not friends anymore. And she's a bob at the end, sickening.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
That's funny. Does you have a bob the whole thing?
Or does she get a bob as an active rebellion?
Speaker 3 (13:09):
She g's a bob after she breaks her knee. Oh,
because that's what bad you do?
Speaker 2 (13:13):
They get bobs.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Oh, hey, I got a bob recently.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I kind of have a bob. Not my choice, you bob,
you're that without a bob. That's a period. That's so
many bees bouncing.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Okay. That was our segment on TV and film and
pop culture in general culture culture Recorder Allow And that's
how Sydney.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
So next up, how to find a balance between eating healthy,
working out but also enjoyed life, drinking, et cetera. So
I've been on this journey the past few months, because you're.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Always on a journey. I like it a lot.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
It's kind of an explorer I'm an investigator.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Sorry, Yeah, that's where I've been the last like six
or so months. As I was telling everyone last season,
because I used to be the kind of girl who
never worked out. I'd work out like once every month,
and I just prayed that I would stay fit, and
you know, naturally I did not. They had like a
really bad relationship with food. Like on one end, I'd
(14:30):
be kind of personal, would eat like once a day
and maybe like chips. But on the other hand, I
would eat like five times a day because food is
my comfort. So it was a lot of trying to
figure out all of that. But I got really into
working out this year. I pretty much went almost every day,
or like four to five days a week. I'm not
going right now because my gym is being crazy, but
(14:51):
I'll go back soon.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
But I have.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
A friend who's a personal trainer, and she made me
like a personalized little.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Plan, so I knew what I had to do.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
I had options of what to do, and came more
about me committing to it. So law school's very stressful, obviously,
so it was like my one way to like kind
of regulate myself in the morning, so I wake up
at like five almost every morning it goes to the gym.
I'm the first to say I am not the kind
of person that likes the gym. I think people that
(15:22):
like working out are weird and to get checked out,
because why do you like being pushed the drink of death?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Also, why do so many people like working out like
gym rats. They're in the up in that gym for
four hours.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
I have a theory that it's impossible to like the gym,
and you just hat your gym rat. You just like
the way your body looks because of the gym. It's
what I will say, Like men that are like it
just keeps me sane. You need to go to therapy
and lifting a weight and throwing a ball are not
gonna regulate your emotions.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Oh my god, I feel like going to the gym.
We're so sorry. We don't mean it, but we did.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
No, I don't it, yeah, because I don't enjoy the
process of working out, but I do like feeling good
about myself after and like I lost a lot of
weight and as.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
You guys did, I was struggle with my but for
a while.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
So it feels nice to like have people recognize my.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Results.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Obviously, but it's more so about like feeling healthier and
knowing that working out isn't just about how your body.
You can be skinny and be unhealthy, you can be
not skinny and be healthy. So I think it's more
so about just like putting yourself in the best position
to be healthy, like mentally, physically distress and like for
long term reasons. And I'm also the kind of person.
I'm like people are like, oh my god, you can't drink,
(16:30):
Like I will say that, I would say I'm sober
curious as like to say, because I don't really like drinking.
I don't drink very often, Like when I go out,
I'll probably have like max one drink. But I'm just
not a person that enjoys drinking or the way it
makes me feel. So I think that obviously, being in
New York and being an undergrad the last four years back,
(16:53):
drinking became like a hobby, and I like obviously played
into that. But I think it took me, like exploit
my with health and with myself to realize that I
just don't like that for me, like I'll have a
glass of wine or like I'll have a drink. And
I got with my friends but like, I'm not going
to search for it or have like five drinks in
one night, just not who I am. So I think
that's kind of what helped me balance that out with
(17:13):
like eating health, you're working out.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
So I think, obviously, do what you want.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Don't think that having wandering out with your friends or
enjoying yourself or going out to eat or having a
piece of cake is going to destroy your health or
make you think that you're not going to be fit anymore.
That's not really how life works. But I think it's
realizing that life is all about balance. Need to balance
things that you want to do and enjoy doing with
trying to have healthy habits. And that's you know, working out,
(17:38):
going for a mind doing karate, doing yoga, going to
a dance class, having a salad, you know.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
So I think it's more.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
So about finding a balance that works for you instead
of trying to like follow these TikTok Instagram nutrition iss.
You have no idea what you're talking about, because obviously
nutrition is different for everyone depending on like your body size,
your ethnicity, your race, your wide composition, et cetera. So
I think it's more so figuring out what works best
for you, and not follow people who drink like chlorophyll
and stuff every morning and all this stuff because that
(18:06):
might work.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
For it, even like not really to happen.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
People are science, Yes, they're just Instagram girls who are
skinny and are fit in that.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I was about to say, Remember, like some people start
their health journeys already having like a certain societally accepted
body type, if that makes sense. So it's like if
you try chlorophyll or something like that, like a random trying,
it doesn't work for you, It's like, well it probably
didn't work for that either. They might have already just
looked that way.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Even things like el glutamine, Like elglumin's only gonna work
for you if you have semic problems. If you have
a healthy stomach, it's not gonna do anything. So you
already have gluty mean in your body. So like what
helped for me is that obviously I have like my
own training plan, but also I only followed people on
TikTok or Instagram who won are like registered dietitians, people
haven't gone through like school and training or whatever. And
(18:52):
even so I wouldn't follow every single one. I follow
ones that look like me or like have the same
body type as me, so like I can understand around
the same page here, but the same thing with TikTok
is like I don't really follow these Instagram Jim girlies
who weigh eighty pounds and work out eighteen times a week,
Like I follow people who have a normal lifestyle, go
to work and go to school and like squeeze workout
(19:13):
saying when they can because I know they have similar
lifestyle to meet and similar body types.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
So I think finding.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
What works for you personally and like what you can
align with your lifestyle is really important, not just like
following it. What's that one girl's name who's like the
ab girl like Chloe Tinge or yeah, workout Alexis Ran, Yeah,
I said high school, be like, oh, if I do
this twenty five minute ab workout with no breaks, I
look just like her. No, we have very different body types,
(19:41):
very different expectations, and I'm not gonna look like her
if I do that, And that's okay. So I don't
want to look like that. I don't look like myself,
you know. So, and just finding realistic things to work
towards and finding your own balance is important.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
I completely agree with everything you just said, and so
my advice is going to be nothing that Sinny said,
So we can have like a little bit of variety here.
The first one is something that you already touched on,
and I would say, just literally stay off TikTok and
Instagram when it comes to like day in the lives
and people who don't people who have like unrealistic standards
and stuff like that. So not only people with different
body types, I would say, which is fine to an extent,
(20:15):
but not only that. I would say, people who like,
oh my god, I just lost my train of thought.
People who oh, yeah, like do like seventy five hard
for example, and you know that that's not gonna work
with your lifestyle. It's like, don't follow people like that
because it's gonna you cannot help but compare. It's like
a human thing. So I would just say, if you
cut it out of your social media cycle in general,
it's gonna be a lot healthier for your mind. Going
(20:37):
into like my own advice, the first thing I always
tell people is to listen to your body, because if
your body is tired and doesn't want to go to
the gym, it'll tell you like it's okay. To take
a day off. It's okay to take like a couple
of days off. It's okay to take a week off
if you really need it, like if you're going through something,
or if you're just not like if you're just tired.
Maybe you couldn't sleep last night, maybe something happened, like
(20:58):
I don't know. There are so many reasons why your
body would tell you it wants a pizza, or why
your body would tell you it wants a salad, or
why your body would be like I need to get
up and move right now, or I need a nap,
et cetera. It's like I would say, don't feel bad
for like wanting to do on paper unhealthy things, because
sometimes your body just like literally needs that. Also, the
(21:18):
two things that are often so underrated is drinking water
and getting enough sleep. Get eight hours of sleep. I
promise you it is going to change your life if
you do not. Already, some people can't because they have
sleeping issues. Some people say sleeping pills great, But like people,
if you do, if you have a capability to have
like a normal sleeping cycle and you don't, I promise
it'll change your life. I did not have a healthy
(21:39):
sleeping cycle in college, like in the earlier years, and
in senior year, I learned what rem was. And now
it's just like I feel so much healthier, I feel
so much more awake. I drink less coffee. I just
like feel less anxious, less jittery. So just like drinking
enough water is so important. So you can tell you
about that she carries she used to carry around like
this huge water bottle with like marks about how many
(22:00):
what is it like leaders you're supposed to drink a day?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Why was that I had to drink a certain amount
by a certain time, which was cute, but I had
to pee every four seconds.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
So also I know that the question mentioned drinking. Certain
alcohols are healthier and have less sugar and less calories
than other alcohols do. For example, white claus they only
have one hundred calories. Te Kila sodas at a bar
like one of the healthiest drinks you can get at
a bar. Like Obviously alcohol isn't inherently healthy, but if
you are trying to like change some dietary things, that's
going on, Like there are healthier alcohols than others. It's
(22:30):
just a fact. I would also say, speaking of like sharing,
a common goal with people, have healthy people in your life.
I remember, like when I had a toxic friend group,
my lifestyle choices got so much better upon entering a
healthier friend group, upon dating someone who is like healthier
for me, and just like changing my mindset in general,
if you have healthy people in your life that reflect
(22:51):
your goals and your morals and your values, that helps
a ton.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Also.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I think we actually have this as an episode planned
for the next few weeks about alcohol and soberness, but
I will say just very quickly because we'll probably go
into more depth about this in later episodes. One thing
that helped for me is like when I go out
with my friends, I would often ask myself like why
am I drinking? True, like, am I drinking because I
(23:16):
want to? Or because I think I needed to have
fun or all because my friends are doing it? And
it ended up being.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Probably the latter.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
So when I go out and now I just get
a coke and it's like, no one asks me why
I'm not drinking, I save so much money, I still
have fun, I feel like myself and wake up feeling happy, dappy,
not hungover, and I'll just order a regular coke and
I feel great.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
So that's something that I do honestly.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Also, the sober curious, like honest conversation about drinking episode
is going to be so cool as people who have
different not like outlooks on drinking, but different lifestyle choices
with drinking, like Sydney definitely drinks less than I do,
and we choose to do like different activities on the weekends,
like I more inhabit bars and stuff like that. That's
going to be interesting too, two perspectives, So look out
(24:02):
for that episode because that's coming soon.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
I think best New York City apartment hunting tips. Okay,
that's a fat and glass of water.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
I know I have two glasses of water that I
was wondering that.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
After I go up and get one, I was like,
do you have two glasses of water?
Speaker 1 (24:17):
I would say to start just like after thinking about
it a little. One thing I would say is beware
if you are apartment hunting in this summer. Sidney and
I have never not apartment hunted in the summer, and
we've had to learn a few different things. One is
that it is the definition of rush hour with apartment hunting.
Everybody is looking for an apartment in the summer. That
means more broker's fees, more competition, more stressed in general,
(24:41):
and if you have to do it, you have to
do it. Sydney and I always have. But just like
be forewarned, also speaking about broker's fees, be careful that
you don't get scammed because Sydney and I, I'll give
like a personal anecdote, then I'll be done with my
portion of the question answering. Sydney and Chance and I,
we're looking for an apartment. This one streen Easy listing
(25:02):
did not say it didn't have a broker's fee, but
it didn't say that it does have one, which usually
they do have to kind of disclaim that on the listing.
So we were really excited. We kind of assumed there
wasn't a broker's fee because when the broker showed us
the apartment and we were texting whatever, like, he didn't
mention it at all, and then we sent in our applications.
We were like this close to getting the apartment basically
(25:23):
in the process, and he texts us and he's like, oh,
it's okay if like my broker's fee is two months
rent plus security, right, And we were like, uh no,
we thought there wasn't one because you never brought one up.
There wasn't one. Listen on the little of whatever home. Big
misunderstanding on his part, for sure, but he was so
rude about it, turned into such an asshole when we
didn't agree. And I would say, just look out for
stuff like that. Also budget for it because especially in
(25:46):
the summer, brokers fees are going to be there, and
they're going to be there most of the time summer
or not, because it's New York City and it's going
to be expensive. But like, just budget for it because
most of the time it's one month's rent plus like
security deposits. So just keep that in mind. And not
even I'm not talking about a broker that you have individually,
like just for you. A broker that may not even
come to your listing is going to charge your broker speed.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Okay, I'm gonna rapid fire. Random things go one.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Like I said about summer, yes, most people do move
here in the summer because it's intern season, so people
will be cycling out. So while yes it's kind of
hard to find an apartment in the summer, that doesn't
mean there's more. There's more listings in general.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
More competition, but more listings.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Yeah, like there's more apartments being listed at the end
of the summer because people are leaving one.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Two.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Oh, that's such a good tip. End of the summer
is the sweet spot, like August September because of school
and interns. That's so true.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
People are like all moving out same in the graduation
season people, while people a leaving New York because of school.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
So look then two.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
New York is not like any other city most cities,
you'd look months before you move at New York.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
At New York. In New York, usually.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
The listing will say that you have to move in
the next like it's either available now or the next
two weeks. So if you're not ready to move in now,
you're gonna be wasting your money. So are looking like
the month or a few weeks before you're going to
move to New York or remove apartments.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Three. Every apartment has a broker's fee.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
The only difference is is that especially during COVID but
still somehow in some places it's still frequent is that
the landlords will just pay the brokers fee on their own.
That's not as common anymore, so do expect the broker's fee.
It's usually like a month's rent or a month's rent
plus something like this, or like fifteen percent of a
year's fee something like that. Is a lot of money
and it's really annoying to put it with remains. Four,
(27:28):
do not get a one bedroom or a studio if
you can live with someone else, like get a two better,
three better, be a lot cheaper. And there's also areas
in New York they're cheaper, Like we live on the
Upper West Side slash Harlem area, and if when I
tell people that rent that we're paying, even people that
live on like school Housing or my friends who live
in like West Village, they're like their jaws dropped because
we're paying literally half of what they're paying for apartment
(27:50):
three times to size because we look, we're in an
area that's cheaper than where they are, like East Village,
West Village, Chelsea, Lower East Side right now aren't all insane,
so if we want to live there, prepared pay eight
thousand dollars for a two bedroom apartment.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Six. Real estate agents here can sometimes be kind.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Of mean, but some of them are really really helpful,
Like there are some who have been like reached out
to about one apartment and they sit me like ten
others and they're very like willing to help. So it
just find someone that works with you or like rifted
your group what you're looking for.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yeah, that's why I have.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
That was good, really rapid fire. I liked it.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Okay, situationship calls me his girlfriend, but never has actually
asked me.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
I looll what do I do? It's like weird now?
Is that?
Speaker 3 (28:34):
I feel like when I was like eight, I thought
that like whenyone composed to you for you to be
their girlfriend, And it is a little bit weird because
like half my friends that do have boyfriends or partners
or girlfriends, there was like a very formal asking of
like would you like to be my girlfriend, with like
flowers and a cake, But the other half they just
start calling each other that and there wasn't really anything formal.
(28:56):
But I think that like the rules we're getting right
now are so convoluted that there isn't really like one
set way do things. I think it's more so like
a conversation that has to be had, so they'll just
pull them aside and be like so like are we
official now?
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Are we exclusive? Are we doping? A girlfriend?
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Like whatever and have it be done that way, because
some people won't really ask if.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Like they need to if it feels natural. Agreed. Also,
congrats must be nice.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
No, that's so funny. I would say it depends on
what you want the outcome to be. Do you want
to actually be like the girlfriend or do you want
to just keep things casual. I've been in that situation before,
and I would say, like, this seems like the most
obvious solution, but just like have a conversation and be like, oh,
so we never really talked about this, Like if you
want to actually be the girlfriend, that's awesome, And I
(29:44):
would just say, like leave it alone then, or maybe
still bring it up and be like, oh, yeah, you
never actually asked me blah blah blah blahcause that might
give him some incentive to do something about it, like
take you out to a nice dinner and ask or whatever.
Or I would say, if you did want to keep
things casual, be like, hey, I really appreciate you wanting
to you like take things forward and move progress in
the relationship, and I really like where we're at, but
(30:06):
I do need to take things slow. And it's not
that I want to stop seeing you make that very clear,
because men do not understand that sometimes be like, it's
not that I want to stop seeing you, it's just that, like,
I like where we are, and I would like to
stay here for a little bit and just appreciate the
time that we have, and I don't want to move
too fast because that might overall like affect the relationship,
if that makes sense. And I like you and I
want to keep doing what we're doing. Oh, no one's
(30:28):
ever told me that, aw Sydney, I like you, and
I want to keep doing what we're doing. And I know,
I feel like if we were all lesbians thing be
things would be so.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Much easier, you know, I do. I do wonder because
these men.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
It's so funny. This one girl posted on TikTok the
other day. She was like, oh, you know, all my
straight girlfriends are always like I wish I liked girls
and all this stuff because they think women are more
emotionally like in tune and it's not true. I'm here
to debunk it, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Being friends are like, don't do it.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Yeah, no, for sure, exactly, I agree, or yeah, like
I do too, And it was just funny to hear. Oh,
I'm like, great, we're all screwed. Doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I just turned twenty. Oh this isn't this is another question.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Sorry, yeah, I like to launch, you know, get right
on in there.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Hey, next question. I just turned twenty and I'm a virgin.
I've always wanted my first time to be meaningful, but
I feel so late.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
What should I do?
Speaker 1 (31:22):
That's an Agel predicament. I would say, watch the TV
show What Is It? Tell me lies, because just not
for like anyway, no, not for like advice, but just
so you know you do not feel the aloneness. I
would say watch that TV show because there was the
one girl in it who went to college and she
was like she felt like really out of the loop
(31:43):
because everyone had sex in high school and she was like,
oh my god, I need to do right now. Don't
ever feel like pressured to match this kind of societally
expected lose your virginity moment, because everybody has a different experience,
and it's just it's so not fair to compare yourself,
especially regarding sex. Sex is so it's just different. It's
very vulnerable, and you do have to like treat your
(32:05):
body like something that is very special. Because it is
and everyone everyone deserves to just like be on their
own time with sex in particular and like with their body.
So that includes like any sexual activity, masturbation, et cetera.
Like you are on your own clock. I would say,
you can look up advice and stuff on the internet
or like porn or whatever. Just actually just I don't know,
get tips or something, but don't feel pressure. That's the
(32:27):
first thing I would say. And second of all, everybody
who loses their virginity for the first time, I feel like,
has a different experience. Some are just Some are like
my first time was so bad, wish I'd never done it.
Some are like my first time was so bad, but
I'm happy I got it over with so I could
start being good at sex. Other people have been like
my first time was so good, sligh, Like really, I mean,
everybody has a different experience, but you are absolutely not
(32:48):
alone for sure. Like I know a lot of people
who have not lost their virginity yet and I'm twenty two,
So I would sayn't worry about it and try to relax.
I know it's hard in a society that perpetuates losing
your virginity at like sixteen, but I would say, just
take a deep breath, you know, try to find some
other stories like yours on the internet, and appreciate your
sexuality because it's it's something really special.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Girl. You're literally missing nothing.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Don't feel like you're rushing or like you're late, because
I think once you add like physical intimacy to things,
while it is like a beautiful thing with the right
person and also complicates a lot in your life, a lot.
Tell you have your first opijuean appointment, you're gonna feel violated,
but whatever. Yeah, So don't feel like you're late, Like
you're on your own timeline. Like I didn't even have
(33:32):
my first kiss until senior year of high school, and
I thought that I was late, and trust me, I
could have waited another five years. So don't feel like
you're late whatsoever. And like Sarah said, like some people
do value it, Like I thought, I want to mind
to be meaningful. I don't even speak to the person anymore,
So I feel like, don't make it in your head
in sense of like it needs to be meaningful at
(33:53):
a certain time or like with a certain person or
like whatever.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
I think, just do it on your own time. That's
what's important.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Like some people, like Sarah said, don't think it's meaningful.
Some people do, some people want it to get over with,
some people don't. So I feel like, don't try and
more what you're doing to other people's expectations. Keep your
own at the forefront, because if you don't want, you
don't want to.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
If you do, you do.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Yeah, So as long as you're like being safe and
it's on your own time and you feel safe, then
like that's really all that matters.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
You're not really.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Late, behind ahead like whatsoever, because really, who are we
competing against?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
You know?
Speaker 3 (34:28):
So yeah, I say to do on your own timeline
and when you're ready, you're ready.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
You know.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Also one more thing, want one personal advice anecdote is
and try to read between the lines here. It will
be very easy, is that I if I were to
advise you, I'm not a sex therapist. I don't know everything.
But what really helped me with my first time was
getting to know yourself before you get to know yourself
(34:54):
with somebody else, Do you know what I mean? It
really helps on a lot of levels. It helps with
your confidence, it helps with your big oh, it helps
with all the little o's. It really does, and it
made me feel better going into it. So that's my
very like personal.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
You advice you look in other context, I feel like,
especially at our age or like where we're at, it's
very easy to get taken advantage of if you don't
know what it's supposed to be going on. And I
feel like, even when I was nineteen, whatever is that
it's supposed to happen like this, Like it's fine, but
(35:26):
like no, I wanted to have a very certain way
because it's my body, you know. So I think just
being comfortable with yourself, knowing what you're expecting, it's really
really important kind of like Sarah said, but yeah, and
don't ever be afraid to say no, no, no, no, no no no.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
I wish so that Sydney's favorite ord literally na so
and I respect her for it. Also, if you are
going to do internet research, because I know that I
mentioned it before, but I do want to clarify there
are a ton of women run led just like women
involved sites out there that you can get this information from.
Don't go on like Cosmopolitan please, Like I mean not
that cosmopolitesn't isn't woman led or like obviously women work there,
(36:01):
but just like it's such basic advice. I would say,
if you really want to get to the nitty gritty
of things, make sure you're getting your sources not from
a man.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Even terms of like safety, like even planned parenthood has
like a lot of information, like different options you can
take to make sure that you're safe and things like that.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Yeah, you're that.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
The person said, I like this boy, but he's really
shy and awkward, but I want to talk to him.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
How do I start things? What should I do?
Speaker 3 (36:24):
I love awkward people, and it's weird because some days
I'm an introvert. Some days I'm an extrovert. As you
all know, it depends on how I woke up. Like
I said earlier about first dates, I am such an
extra on first dates and a lot of the guys
that go out with because I like intellectual men are
very awkward and shy, and I love it. I think
it's so fun and I think that For example, like
(36:46):
I went on a date like last week and the
guy's a little bit older, but he's so attractive, so nice,
but it's such good conversation, and I literally asked him.
I was like why are you single? Like I'm just
a little bit confused, and he was like, well, it's
actually I'm very shy and very offend awkward, and I
just like don't want to go up to people to
meet them, So it's a little bit awkward sometimes, like
getting comfortable with someone I would have never known because
(37:08):
we were talking for literally like three and a half
hours about like film movies, like all this stuff, and
I would have never thought that he was awkward whatsoever.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
I think that.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
Sometimes it just takes someone taking them out of their shell,
and that's like as easy as going up someone and
be like hi, like how are you blah blah blah whatever.
And like my old the Room mccamps will tell you,
like all of the people that were quote unquote awkward
or shy in our high school I was so close
with because I love talking to people who are shy,
and I remember I told a start in the podcast
before I think, but at my high school graduation there
(37:37):
was a kid who was like vary into like anime
and video games. I didn't really talk that much, and
he was our class speaker. I don't really know why. Actually,
I think he's like signed up and people voted or something,
and he said in his speech he was.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Like, I was so awkward at the school.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
I guy really feel comfortable, Like I didn't know anyone
I came in because like my school was like K
through twelve, and so he's like, I came in a
lot layer and everyone else have a lot of friends.
But there's one person who would always talk to me
in our science class. And it's funny because like when
this was happening, I was like, this kid has to
hate meings I would just literally blab my mouth to
him every single day.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
I bet he really appreciated that.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
Honestly, he would just look at me, so I'd be like, okay, whatever,
Oh that's so funny. And then he said in this
speech that like even though I might not have seemed
like he appreciated it, it made the difference in him
like being comfortable here. And I if you look at
my guys from picts, I was really sobbing in the
front row because he meant my name or whatever. So
I think just it takes like it might seem like
they're not really receptive, but I think just extending a hand,
(38:35):
like a kind word, just being like, hi, how are
you starting a conversation will make the role of a difference,
because sometimes they're just introverted in the sense that they
don't really know you. I know this is like situation,
But once you get comfortable with them, like they'll open
up like a little book.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
I know.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
I completely agree. I have this little game that I
like to play when I meet shy people for the
first time is I like to break them, which sounds
really bad, but it don't mean like at all. I
don't know it's likely if it's a person that won't
give me a smile, I kind of like to just
try and make them smile as much as possible, and
I consider it a personal accomplishment when they end up
do smiling or like laughing or just letting loose a
(39:09):
little bit. I love shit like that because I think
everybody needs to be able to feel comfortable, like in
their own skin, and I like helping with that process.
One thing about Sidney and I that I think is
one of our best soft skills and qualities in general,
is that we make people feel very comfortable about themselves,
from just being nice and consider it on one level,
to asking a bunch of questions making the other person
(39:29):
feel like important because they are. It's very and you
don't get that a lot in society. I feel like,
because we are a shallow people as like a community,
as a universe, and I think getting down to the
nitty gritty and making other people feel like they can
be vulnerable in front of you is a really good
skill to have. Whether it's a job interview or just
someone you're meeting for the first time, or that shy
(39:49):
kid in your class. It's like, no, I mean, we
can drop the mask for a second actually be ourselves.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
It's good. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
I think vulnerability takes comfort, and if you provide that
comfort is someone that'll open up. But yeah, people are
so funny and like I'm like I said earlier, like
I don't know if you were extravert, I like, I'm
just overt. I'm so awkward, Like I'm the kind of
person we're like if I don't know what to say,
I just say every single thought that comes.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
Into my head and everyone's like, oh wow, okay.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
So it could be one of those situations where like
I come off as awkward, but I'm not in my head,
so that's really all that matters. So sometimes they might
seem awkward, might just be like, DIY donerally know how
to approach your personality or how to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
So long did you make me feel comfortable? Should be fine?
Speaker 1 (40:31):
I'm awkward and very specific scenarios like yeah, scenario no,
Like what was that one situation where oh, I'm okay.
This is when I'm awkward. I just remembered I'm awkward
when I can't hear you because I feel a bad
hearing and I am never awkward. I'm such an extrovert.
(40:51):
I think I took the test and I was like
ninety eight percent extrovert, which is actually frightening, and that's
why I annoyed people. But when I cannot hear you,
because I have bad here because I listen to music
on high and I'm gonna regret that when I'm older.
But when I can't hear you, my eyes go glossy
and my mind goes blank. And instead of asking what
I just say, I like respond with what I think
(41:13):
you said, And nine percent of the time I'm wrong.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
What was that one thing we were at where she's like,
you can't tell you, there's nothing behind them eyes.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
She's nodding to smile on her face.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
My eyes go glossy.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Where were we or the restaurant?
Speaker 1 (41:27):
Yeah, when.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
I take your plate, she's like, I ordered lobster And
he was like what she just said there, smiling, and
I was like, oh see, that's the thing. Is like,
even though most like confident and extroverted people are awkward too.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Yeah, so exactly and just like very major lewk and
oh I'm clumsy. That's another way that I'm awkward. Like
I drop things and I spilled things on myself a lot,
so that can be very awkward when you're in like
a party or a room full of people.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
I don't know, Like when I talk to men, most
women have that thing in your brain that's like, hey,
don't you that.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Yeah, I don't have that.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
You don't have it? Is it called a filter? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (42:03):
Not even say that.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
I filter sometimes, Like when I'm mad, I just say
whatever I want to say.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
I've heard you say some like horrific things when you're mad.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
At somebody, okay, or context.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
Like your sister or something.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Oh that's different.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Yeah, yeah, he's not a bully, I promise, that's not
what I meant.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
But there are two people in this world I have
ever gotten that mad at and it's my ex because
he was awful me to me and deserved it.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
And my sister because she's a sister. We're good nat.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Okay, good. That is so funny. I keep getting these
dms from promoters and they're like Ainsworth after Dark. Uh literally,
no oh, I saw this hilarious video. This is just
this is our last side. This hilarious video on TikTok
where this guy was filming the line outside of Hair
(42:51):
of the Dog and then he put the camera on
himself and goes these people like who in their right
minds things? I just gotta go to the Hair of
the Dog tonight. I just have to get in there
so badly.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
I let him maybe laugh.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
He has the funniest content, like here's that chanel going
up in Williamsburg.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
And he was like, thank you.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
It's not him, But I get why you thought it
was him, because I love him too.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
He did the original video. The guy who I know
they're talking about the just posted that. Yes, everything he
did not in that video is your copying this exact
video that he made.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Cause that's why Vil mcclint talk is the other guy.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
I know, that's why he went viral, But I didn't.
Speaker 3 (43:25):
Know like worry for word the exact same video. Really
yeah that t tat drama for yesterday.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Wait, that's crazy, why would you do that?
Speaker 3 (43:32):
And he ran from Montalk to Manhattan for like no reason,
so I love him.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
That's so funny. Oh yeah, isn't he a runner? The
original guy who did the video?
Speaker 2 (43:40):
But like, for fun, that's like one hundred and thirty
one miles.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
See like people like that. I don't. I don't know
about you.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
You scared me, Like why you? Why would you? What
would possess you to do that? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Okay, last question, Yes, we have time for one more
advice on making new friends while staying true to yourself
as a freshman in college.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Oh that's a really sweet question. I did not do that,
so I would say, like what not to do is
settled down too quickly, so I would say the same
goes with relationships and friend groups. I was friends and
formed a really toxic friend group with the people who
I met day one, And I would say, while that
(44:16):
does work out for some people, like some people who
I know really well have been friends or like are
still acquaintances with people they met on like day one
at NYU, but for me personally, in college, that friend
group turned out to be one of the worst things
that ever happened to me for so many reasons, like
they introduced me to my toxic X and they whatever.
Like it was just an awful situation all around. And
I would just say, like, keep your keep an open mind,
(44:38):
like don't not go to like plans with somebody else
because you're so focused on like this one friend group
that you met day one of college. So I would say,
keep an open mind. Don't settle down with one friend
group like too soon. I would say, behavior is key,
Like that phrase you are who your friends are rings
so true. So like my friend group. That's another thing
(44:59):
about my old friend group, because they were into a
lot of bad stuff. And I'm not going to be specific,
but I'm sure you guys know it's freshman year of college,
et cetera. Like I also was kind of not like forced,
but like peer pressure to take part in those activities
a little bit to hang out with these people. So
it was just very like I would say, make sure
that the people align with your morals and values, and
if not, it is truly time to find another friend group.
(45:19):
Like I swear you are not destined to have like certain.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
Type of friends.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Pick the friends who you feel align best with, like
your personality, your going out habits, and your core morals
and values because think about it, you are going to
a new place for the first time, most likely moving
out of your new home, most likely moving to a
new city. If you don't have your morals and values,
what do you have?
Speaker 2 (45:40):
You know?
Speaker 3 (45:41):
My one thing is the power of no I so
i because if it's to be a very rare trait
that I have, all people don't have it.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
I do not get fomo ugually do not care.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Oh it's the best, like hearing about Sydney's no fomo
is it's awesome because I have major pomo.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Like a lot of people will put themselves in situation
where they shouldn't be or aren't comfortable because they're scared
of missing out. Put in my head on, like what
am I missing out on? I love my bed, I'm
good Like so when people would like participate in things
that I'm not comfortable in the power of being like okay, cool,
I'm a head out, We're like I don't want to
do that.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
I'm not going to go. It's so simple.
Speaker 3 (46:18):
People just don't I don't know, but I think the
power of no is a very important thing to discover
the power of at a very early time. And so
people are doing things you're not comfortable with. Peace out,
Like what are you really missing?
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Nothing?
Speaker 3 (46:31):
So I think keep that in mind. You can always
say no to people. And like Sarah said, like sometimes
your people come in a later time, So don't feel
like pressure to be in a group of people that
don't align with like your values or your beliefs, just
because you want to have people to hang out with,
Like they'll come in due time.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
I promise you're not tied down to anything a man,
a school, a girl, friends, family.
Speaker 3 (46:52):
I got really involved my first year at NYU, Like
I joined the residence council. I was on like IRC,
which is like all the resident council, the one from
my door. Civically, I was on my school student council,
so I can meet people and a lot of my
friends I still talk too. I met through through that
as well as my class. Is just like talking to people.
(47:13):
So I promise you will find your people. It's times
you can meet them in the most random of places too,
So remember.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
That, And I would say to go along with Sydney's
advice of the power of no equally as important as
the power of yes in some scenarios when it comes
to doing things that put you out of your comfort zone,
like being adventurous, and I mean especially if you're going
to college in a big city, which is one thing
I learned. It's like I did a lot of things
that I don't regret because I said yes to something
(47:39):
that I wouldn't usually say yes to. So I would say, like,
don't do it because you're scared of missing out. Do
it because it's something you want to do, and just
like just challenge yourself a little get and get out
of your comfort zone. That is what college is all
about in the end, and study. Don't forget to study,
and please don't forget to learn stuff. People go to
college and they're a freshmen, and it's also exciting that
they forget that why they're there. And that happened to
(48:01):
me definitely. I can speak from experience. So find passion
in like your school work, because it's not going to
be fun unless you do that either. And that is
all I have to say.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
It's very weird. Undergrad was easier for me than high school.
I don't really know why.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
But oh I agree. Yeah, undergrad is easier for me
than high school. Once I stopped making bad decisions.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
It's okay because then law school came along and hit
me in the face of this foot.
Speaker 2 (48:25):
You know I'll endue.
Speaker 1 (48:26):
Time, all right, you guys, That is about all the
time we have left. We will do another Advice in
Public next season, so stay tuned for that. We love you.
Make sure to follow us on Crying in Public Instagram
and TikTok Socials, Crying in Public podcast and you can
listen to us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get
your podcasts. Of course, we are crying in Public. Thank you,
(48:48):
good night, goodbye,
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