May 24, 2023 • 50 mins
This week the girls give a catch-up as to what's been happening in their lives the last couple of weeks before debating the concept of "right person, wrong time"...does it exist? Is it just an excuse? The girls lay out the signs to know when it's really the wrong time, verus when someone is making excuses to avoid commitment.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Okay, so it has been thirteen years since Supercord.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
You know what I can't explain, Sydney take it away.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
I had finals, yes, and I had four finals for
four hour finals.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I was gonna say, Sydney, how long are those finals?
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Four hours?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
So I like remind you, like the way law school
works is that you only get one grade for the
entire class. So it was all writing on this four
hour exam. So I had to do a last time
being so I couldn't record. And then something super traumatic
happened after my last exam, so I like really couldn't record.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
You've probably seen it and news.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Actually I don't why anone would have seen it unless
you literally go to Columbia.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yeah, they kept it kind of down on the low.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Yeah, most because they won't literally tell us what happened.
I had to go digging. So basically I was in
my final exam.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
And trigger warning and like stabbing, yeah okay, Well I
just like literally okay.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Yeah, sure, you're warning violence.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
And I was taking my towards exam and they put
us on lockdown. And by lockdown, I mean they came
into the room screaming, crying, talking about stay call girls,
stay calm you not calm, You're freaking me out because
they just ran into a room and they're like everyone,
stop your exams, and we're like okay, and then everyone's
like why, Like we're in the middle of a four
hour exam and.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
How far into it did you get before?
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Like an hour and a half.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Okay, so it's only two questions, but it's like two
thousand words per question, jesus. So they're like, stop your exam.
She's like crying, and we're like hello, like what's wrong.
She's like, we're having we're having an emergency in the lobby.
Just like I close your laptop, stop taking exam, and
just stay here.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Mind you.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
This is how I learned that our like law school,
does not have the infrastructure for like a lockdown. I
don't think cause like I don't know about you guys,
but in our high school, in the school, like we
had like lockdown procedures because while we had a school shooting.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
But well, I mean yeah we did too. I feel
like that's pretty standard.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Like and even like before our school shooting, like there
wasn't necessarily like like there was stuff something in place,
like just to know something's happening.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Yeah, I think it's more for like weather.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Than like, well you're in Florida, that makes sense, like
hurricanes or I don't even know.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
They don't have kicks in Florida.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Even like when we did have our school incident in
high school, like there was something in place. I think
the law school has that because let people run into
exam rooms and being like stop everyone, don't cry or
freak out what I don't tell you what's wrong, but
sit here like obviously we're freaking out.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
I didn't why you didn't have any practices like that?
Right do you remember?
Speaker 4 (02:50):
And so they like keep sorry, and.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I don't why you we didn't have any practices like that.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I feel I don't know, and I think it's inter
is different in the sense that like there's so many
different buildings, but like even in my high school, my
high school had a lot of different buildings, but it
was like it was outside, but there was like a
central bell system that you can use for a lockdown.
But like NYU, there wouldn't be one because there's so
many like you know in Washington, washingt Storre Park Lord
have mercy the ones who probably would.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Have had right.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
So the only difference is the law school was one building,
so I don't know why there was nothing in.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Place, but oh, I see what you mean.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Okay, So yeah, I wad stop for exam. It's never
happened before, so I never really knew what was going on.
Apparently a woman and her acquaintance came into law school building,
got some location in the lobby, and someone ended up
stabbing the other a lot of times. So there's that happened,
and it was really scary. Zurmind me of high school
(03:41):
like all this stuff, So yeah's super traumatic. Key And
then I I they extended our period for doing our exam.
We had to do online. Now it's like a whole
thing of like we already solved the questions. Some people
took it earlier that day because they had extra time
or were going on like their trips or something, so
like they already finished the exam on a normal conditions,
like how is it going.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
To be fair?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
So it was like a lot of back and forth
the law school and students, and then we did end
up finishing our exams until Sunday, so it just like
pushed a lot of timelines back. So that's why you
couldn't record. But we're back now. Ah ah, we're back.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Back and better than ever.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
But it was so crazy to hear about that too,
because Sindny was kind of texting her group chat as
was happening, and Sydney likes to lead.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
With like, oh the way.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I was so stressed out because you like to lead
with like the thing that's happening.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
But meanwhile, Chance and I like.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
She texted in our group chat like I just started
blood curling, scream freaking.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Out in the building whatever.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
And then I think you guys are being let outside,
so you didn't text us for like five minutes. Yeah,
And I was like she's dead, like because you know,
my mind always goes to like the worst possible point.
And I was with my boyfriend and I literally started
shobbing saking on the floor or stobbing shaking on the floor.
He was like, are you okay? And then you finally
I looked like an idiot because then you texted or fine.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Like it was like I was trying to call my parents,
but here then we're answering. I finally my dad was
I'll hit you later. I was like, no, hold on,
before you go, and my grandma called me. I was
like I heard what happened, girl?
Speaker 4 (05:06):
How did you hear?
Speaker 3 (05:07):
I haven't heard. So my dad got the news on
deck that she got all the apps, all the news alerts,
so she knew before I knew.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
But that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I didn't see any news articles about until the next day.
But AnyWho, I'm so glad you're okay.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I don't know what I would do if anything happen
to you. I'm happy that like it was an isolated incident. Also,
and like she is she in critical condition, She's still alive, right,
she's still alive.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Her thing is like grow white god, knife and your purse.
Use your words, Like, use your word. I think the
escalation needs to be taught to people because you just
want to be fighting here. It's kind of crazy and
like makes me so imagine talking about gun control because
I just like it's like a very clear solution.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
People were like, well, you're gonna take away am I right,
the government, Yes we are, that's exactly what's happening.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Actually.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Also, that amendment was written in a totally different time. Also,
it was written at a point where like a government
takedown or go overthrow was possible.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
And now look at how much we progressed.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
You know, you never actively over over government when they
wrote it.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
So, yeah, your revolver in your basement is not gonna overthrow.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
The government like you have to relax. It's not that seep.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
So on a less serious topic I wanted to. So
we're recording this on Thursday eighteenth. I don't know if
the episode's gonna be posted today, but probably, but if
it's not, just you know, travel back in time with me.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I just watched the vander Pump Rules season finale.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Unfortunately, to my deepest upsetness, Sydney does not watch vander
Pump Rules, so I cannot talk about this with her. However,
I can yell into this mic so that I will
do only for a very short time because all my girlfriends,
literally except for Sidney, watched the show. So I'm hoping
that a lot of our audience here watches it.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
You guys, you guys, you guys, you guys. The moment when.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Tom was screaming at Ariana for him like about him
cheating on her for seven months after they were in
a ten year relationship and what broke my heart because
I haven't caught up with the past like three seasons,
but I did watch season ten, like the or the
last year whatever season this is. I watched like that,
and what broke my heart? And I didn't know that
(07:16):
Arianna had She never wanted kids, she never wanted to
get married, but she made Tom like an appointment where
they would go and freeze her eggs so that if
he ever wanted to have kids, like he could and
then she would and this and she really was her.
She really was his rider or die because I don't
know if you know this, Sydney, but he did concerts
(07:36):
and he was like a singer hat a little band,
and this man cannot sing. He has no musical talent.
His songs are bad like and everybody kind of thought
it was cringey. But now that this whole thing happened
with Ariana and everyone's really on Ariana's side. They're boycotting
his restaurants. He has two restaurants. They're boycotting his concerts,
his music, et cetera. And he, oh my god, James
really said it right. He really does look like a
(07:56):
worm with a mustache.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
One.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So him looking up jumping on that stage, I'm jumping
up on that stage looking like whatever, literally just personifies
the worm with a mustache statement, he looks a mess,
and then she would go to his concerts and just
support him so much through all that thick and thin.
And they had this agreement, which I actually think is
really really precious when and you can appreciate this, Cinny,
(08:18):
I think being in the public eye as well is
they had this agreement where they both started the show
together and essentially said, no matter what happens in our
personal lives, we will never embarrass each other on the
TV show. So like, if you cheat, okay, fine, we're
gonna break up, but we're not gonna talk about it
on the TV show. You know, stuff like that. I
don't want to submit you to that kind of public
(08:41):
like criticism.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
And my thing is, if you even have to make
that agreement, do not be with that person. If you
have to make an agreement just in case someone cheats,
that means you think they're going to cheat, even if
it's one chance of you thinks that.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Well, So guess how Tom and Arianna got together.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
How they Well.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
So Tom's eating this girl, Kristen, and he cheated on
her with Arianna. I mean they only kissed, but still
to my knowledge, but still like the same thing happened.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
But now Ariana Kristener are like besties. I think it's
really cute. And they had this agreement.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Basically Tom broke that agreement because the public basically found
out before Ariana did. There were rumors that Tom was
cheating on her with her call that entire time. But
finally like it came out on the TV show and
Arion on Ariana was like, fuck you, this is the
worst thing you could have done. You not only broke
our trust in the relationship, but you broke this agreement
that we've kept for ten years.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
So Tom had already cheated on her once and she
found out and.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
It came up in the episode, and Arianna defended Tom
to the ends of the earth after knowing that he cheated,
like she knew that he cheated on her, and not
only did you stay in the relationship, you know, which
is something to be said there, but she defended him
on TV like she was like, he did not cheat.
This is an amazing person you're looking at here, Like
Arianna is just genuinely a good person off and on screen.
(09:55):
So I think that's why everybody rallied around her so much.
When this whole scandalval came out, and it was really
funny because Raquel showed up in like the first ten
minutes of this finale episode and.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Then this it was so dramatic.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
This dark screen came over and it said Raquel was
not available for comment, nor was available to be reached
by anybody except for her family. I think she went
to a mental health facility, which is like good. I mean, obviously,
public perception can be very harmful and like can bring
us to some pretty dark places.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
So I'm happy she's getting the help she needs.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
But she is a cunt and like she is like
just going and getting the help now, which is good.
But it was just funny the way that the TV
show broadcasted it on like this black screen. It was
all very true crimey. It was hilarious. What do you
think about all that?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Because I'm also just like, if, and I believe this
so strongly, if you meet someone or get with someone
by cheating, like by men cheating.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
On their partner, what in the world, like.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Actually point me to the thing in the world, the
thought in the world, the idea in the world that
they would not do the same thing to you. You like,
they just showed you who they were and their character
in fact that they're not loyal or respectful, and do
you think they're magically going to change their behavior? And like,
I was thinking about this a lot this week because
(11:12):
I also it kills me because I feel like all
the names in that show are just like Abcdog, like
Tom rakel Ariana and Stacey and Sara and Lina Im
like Okay.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
One if Sinny's really good friends from law school also
follows vnder pump roles.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
So Sinny doesn't know all the names. She just doesn't
know what the fuck's going.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
Don't know any of the business.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah, And I was seeing on this a lot this
week because one of my exes somehow rechtrat back reached
back out to me. Actually two of my exes did,
and I was like, oh, not the moon in retrograde.
And I really don't know how this This man is
blocked on everything Venmo email, my school, email, my NYU email,
(11:50):
my like diva girl, whatever email went out from.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
I'm like five deep a girl.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
He's walked on Twitter, he's walked on Instagram, he's walked
on the crank public Instagram, He's walked on my fin stuff.
This man only thing he's not blocked off is facebooks.
I don't know how to block someone on Facebook go
on Facebook, so I did think it's funny.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Though I never opened my Facebook.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
I see his little life updates of like me and
this girl are dgging, and I'm kind of like I
didn't realize people still did that, which I thought was interesting.
But are you thirty five?
Speaker 4 (12:17):
Yeah? Yes, actually that the girl is.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
But he DM me And at first I was like,
this is so full circle because the amount of times
that I found him getting in contact with this ex'es
in like very weird ways, like dming them off of
like Instagram like whatever. He would always get back in
contact with them when we were together and be like, oh,
I'm just checking in on them. But I knew it
(12:41):
was like a way for him to like, you know,
try and get back in there. So I'm like, not
you doing this to the girl that you cheated on
me with, Like you're doing the exact same behavior did
with me with her, and like as much as like
he didn't mean a lot to be and like the
four years who were.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Together, it's like.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
I genuinely, well, one, I don't feel any ill will
towards the girl because she probably even know we were together,
because he's a pathologic choir. He probably she probably still
doesn't know. And honestly, I would never wish how he
treated me onto anyone, no matter who the person is,
even though she did know that he was with me,
and so, like I did genuinely, genuinely pray and hope
(13:20):
that somehow he woke up one day and decided to
stop being an awful person and like learn loyalty and
respect and how to treat a woman like I honestly
do wish that that's what happened, and like he does
treat her well, But this just showed me that, like
he's the exact same person, and I do feel really
bad for her. It's so longer my business or concerns.
I'm not getting involved in terms of like letting her
know or anything. But I think it just reminded me that,
(13:40):
like treaters will always cheat most of the time, and
like so many talks of behaviors that we see in
people that we try and like come up with excuses for,
they are always gonna be That's just who they are,
you know it. Some times that's hard to accept and
I would love to believe, like of the topic of
this episode. That's some way to put that. It's right
person wrong times. I would say, like, oh, maybe him
(14:00):
and I will get back together when we're I of
course like hopes that, like if we got older. He's
already old as hell, so I don't know what his
excuse was, but we'd get back together, like after a
law school or something, and like we'd just being different
places and have a canny level respect for each other
and maybe it would work out, like we would end
up together. But I think I just realized that there
(14:23):
really is no such thing as right person, wrong time,
because if you really did respect that person, or value
that person, or want that person, or prioritize that person, like,
you would find ways to change whatever the circumstances or
the issue is, to make things work. If you actually
wanted to be with him, you know, it's like leaving
it up to fate or hoping that the world CAUs
cosmic car what's the way, cosmic kismet like chismetically, that's
(14:50):
the word, but the Englishman is always changing. Chismetically come
into the perfect alignment of probus. See back together. That
does happen for some people, but that's usually just a
adopt of their own like efforts, you know. So I'm
just like a very strong proponent of like if it
was meant to be, it would have been, and like
and if they wanted to, they would have exactly, and
like I had an asterisk between if they went into
(15:12):
they would have because like sometimes things do happen. But
like part of me in my head was like this
might not make any sense when I say it out loud,
but I think about this a lot. Like if they
wanted to, they would. There are times when I do
want to, but I don't because I'm embarrassed, like I
don't want to text them first, like why would I
do that?
Speaker 4 (15:27):
And then I'm like if you wanted too, they would.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
But that's what I'm saying. So you like you don't
want to, So you didn't, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (15:31):
But I wanted to. I just didn't because I was scared.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Well, so the scaredness makes you not made it made
this You being scared made you not want to.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Does that make sense? Yeah, So like it's not that
it's your fault. It's just like in the end is
like you.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Might have and also feelings are complicated, like you can
want to do something and not want to do something
at the same time.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Yeah, you know, it's life isn't always that simple.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
But to me, I also have an asterisk in the
first on the first phrase wrong person right or right
person wrong time. I think that might only apply to
young young people. So I'm talking like I'm talking upper
middle school, lower high school, or even all of high school.
Because you're still living with your parents, your brain is
(16:11):
definitely not anywhere near fully developed yet. I think maybe
that can apply. And then also, you're moving away from
your hometown to go to college, so really the phrase
even if they wanted to, they would not necessarily because
going to college is out of someone's control. So it's
stuff like that where I think that asterisk also comes
into play.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
And you know, you could be dating.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I've heard the story actually a lot of people who
are married now and who are in very healthy relationships
who were together in college I mean in high school,
had to separate for college and then found each other
again after that.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
So I think maybe right.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Person, wrong time could apply there, perhaps in some cases,
but normally totally not. You know, I, as someone who
doesn't believe in like fate or you know, universal influence,
I think that right person.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Wrong time, time is just a way to justify.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
It's a It's a way to put reasoning on something
that you can necessarily control or find reasoning with. It's
a way to get closure when in reality, you should
be finding that within yourself, not relying on some cosmic
balance to you know, define your you know what could
have been. I think it's kind of a cop out.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
I agree, because, for example, like after all of my
ex stuff happened, I was in one of those headspasis
that I'm actually currently in as well as where I'm like,
I don't a man to look at me or touch me,
Like I'm so good with being alone.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
Actually I kind of doing a way from right now.
But that's just that's a whole other thing.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Again, Feelings are complicated. You could like, you can like
the single life, but also kind of.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
I want to be I want to be single with
the boyfriend and not even single, not even single.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
In these cases, the feelings are very complicated.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Not even single because I want to flirt with other guys,
but I just like don't want my emotions to be
tied to someone's behavior. But at the same time, I
do want a cute lit boyfriend to go on the
lot beat anyway, that's a whole other conversation. I have
my crillics back on. I just feel like it just
like feels like my personality is.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Back as of that, I'm so sad. I want my crylics.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
I'm so dead.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
I wanted to get square because I was like, let
me change it up a little bit. And then my
meal girl was like no. I was like, okay, it
just like you have chunky fingers.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
I was like, yeah, you're right, like ma lady. So
I got coffin. Anyway, that was like so many side stories.
What are we talking about? Oh? Yes?
Speaker 3 (18:29):
So like I was were much in that high sat
off like I don't wantnyone to look at me or
touch me, like I'm so tired of beating hurt by men,
like it's giving me myself and I twenty twenty two.
And then someone who like actually was kind of my
best friend, am astract question Mark. I ended up getting
like very very very very very deep feelings for which
(18:50):
like somehow I had more feelings for hamilated for my
like long term relationship, which I was like obsessed with him.
So that was a little scary. It was very much
like a situationship that lasts for like a semester or
a few months. And I think my in my head
the whole time, because we kept saying it to each
other that it was like very much like right person,
wrong time, Like I would say, yourself being together like
five years from now or like after law school, like
(19:11):
you have to like get through whatever, like he's going
through something I'm going through something like we'll work it
out eventually, And we would always say that and then
back of my head, like I get that. Gave me
so much hope, and he gave me excuse after excuse
after excuse that's like why you couldn't commit to me now,
including some very just like outlandish excuses that like I
just don't even believe, like I'm actually mad myself sitting
(19:33):
there listening to it, only for him to turn around
and start dating someone like actually two weeks later, some
random girl, and so all my excuses he gave me
was like, oh, you can't understand like culture blah blah,
and then whatever. Anyway, I just hate that I let
myself be like dragged into that idea of like, oh,
like the world will work it out, like when he's
ready i'll be here or work out. No, all these
(19:56):
excuses give me as to why I can't be together
were exactly that excuses. If he wanted to, he could
have addressed every single one of the things, because he
did with this girl. So I think it's just a
way of telling someone I do not want to be
with you. And I think people are scared to be
honest about their feelings nowadays, either that or they're just
too honest. So I've seen some tiktoks guys like I
actually hite your face, I want to cheat any And
(20:16):
I'm like, why would you say that, especially in writing?
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Are you crazy?
Speaker 3 (20:20):
So I think that when people do use that excuse,
it's just a way for them to kind of say
what they want to say without actually saying it, like
you're just too scared to say it's not going to
work out, or like I'm not going to do the
work necessary to make this work.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, agreed.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
That also brings me back to Vanda Pump Rules, because
Arianna and like her friend were sitting because so Tom
and Arianna have alse together, which again whole other level
of fucked up, and Ariana and her friend are sitting
on the couch Ariana. Tom is not there. At this point,
Ariana is ripping Tom a new one. She's saying, he's ugly,
he gives for the egg, he's an awful person, he's
(20:57):
the worst, he's the sea word, et cetera.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
And then Tom is there the whole time, just in
the other.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Rooms, so you just see him. It's like the first
scene of the finale, episode two, and you see him
just walk around the corner like and Ariana looks at him,
and then he goes to the kitchen to get a snack,
and he goes, this is so funny. He goes, do
you want anything? Obviously he's feeling dejected because he just
heard his ex call him ugly and stuff.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
I mean, I probably ate that a little bit, Belie.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
No, no, she did, she ate?
Speaker 3 (21:23):
She ate.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
So he went to go get a snack and then
asked her do you want anything? She looks at him,
does not skip a beat.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I feel like this is something you could do, Sidney,
except probably maybe not.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
She looks at him, doesn't even skip a beat, with
the smoothest tenor of her voice, looks at him and
goes for you to die.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Oh, and I have never last or if I.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
Would have thought I have said it.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Yes, yes, I think it's something you might have crossed.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
What's the meanest thing you've ever said to a guy?
Like in a fight?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
The meanest thing I've ever said to a guy is
that he never made he never gave me a pleasure.
I'm trying to think of a way to say it.
You know, you guys can pick up what I'm putting down.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
I mean, is that I mean if it's true?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Well, yeah, definitely wasn't true. But oh wait, wait, I'm sorry,
I can't. So I actually can't say the meanest thing
I've ever said to a guy because if he listened,
he would know.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
And I don't really go cover with that.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
But like, that's not even me because I know he couldn't.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
No, yeah it was.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
It's always awkward saying that to someone's face. But anyway,
so I just off Mike said the meanest thing I've
ever said to someone, and so he said, it's not mean.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
If it's true.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Mine, I told my ex that he was rotten to
the core.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I feel like that's not that mean either.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
In the moment, No, girl, I hadn't. I hadn't send
my notes for so long. I was like next time
you pissited off. I'm not the time to tell him this.
And I sat there and he's literally, okay, story time, Okay.
He went on a boy ship to Vegas, and I knew,
I knew that he was gonna cheat on me. So
I did what any smart woman would do. I put
a box of like unopened condoms in his suitcase, just
(23:03):
so you know, I know that they're there.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
I'm there because I grant cheating on at least be protected.
And then that is so funny. We tried told a
start on the podcast before.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
But anyway, I unpacked his back when he got back
and the box was no longer wrapped, so I knew
that had been used, and so I just blew up
on him.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
I was like, you know what, I'm done. I'm done.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
I never were sitting on his bed and he was
just laying there with the like a nob look on
fet like he could not care less. He just didn't
there like a like a flat look on his face.
I'm saying every single insult that I had been keeping
in the notes app since the first week we started dating.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
And Ron's the core kind of like was like the endpoint.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
And when I said that he started, boohoo, why would
you say that this is literally so mean? Because I
meant it actually because I like, how are you such
a bad person or like so unempathetic that you do
not care about hurting someone, like you go into situations
with the intention of hurting someone for what twenty five minutes.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
Of whatever, that's five minutes. But they're dating now, so
maybe they were.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Yah.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Oh my god, I will never forget this.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
One time, freshman year of college, I was in this
little friend group and I had only hung out with
this friend. So friend group very loose term because I
had only hung out with these girls in the friend
group for one night. It's I would be bonded or
anything like. We literally just hung out and drank together
at a party. And then this guy that they were
friends with I had known from before, and one of
(24:27):
the girls in the group the night before had said
that he was hot, and I was like, okay, And
then the next day I got with him because guess what,
I thought he was hot too, and I told her
I thought that the night before, and then they all
took it upon themselves to sit me down the next
day and rip like, actually three new buttholes into my
but they ripped it so far and so wide it
(24:51):
was disgusting. They called me like a psychopath.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
It was nuts.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
So when I think about that, and then I think
about your ex, and then I think about my ex,
and then I think about Tom and Arianna and Raquel,
who arian and Raquel were literally best friends, it's just
so funny.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Perspective is everything like, it's just so crazy? Wait and
even deal with it?
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Follow up question, that's the amazing amand's ever said to you.
I actually have an entire folder and it's all from
the same person.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
If you don't remember, if you haven't been listening to
the podcast for a long time, Hi, this is Sarah.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I'm a very sexual person and.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
I have sorry that introduction.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Actually I have no problem hiding that or I'm very
confident my sexuality and I don't care.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Obviously I'm not going to divulge, but you know, that's
just who I am.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
And my ex A big problem that me and him
had was he was not as sexual as I am,
which was not the issue.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Was totally fine. We dated for two and a half years,
so it was fine.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
And at the end of our relationship, I think when
I said that I wanted to break he said.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I can't remember exactly.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
What it was, but it was something like I hardly
want to have I never want to have or it
was like I hardly ever want to have sex with
you anymore.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I don't find you sexy. Something like that, and I have.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
In my life in he was trying to be cause
I was addressing some problems and he was like, I
just literally don't find you like sexy. In that way,
I think he thought of me more as like a
friend and life partner rather than a sexual being. And
I would prefer to be viewed as a sexual being
in addition to a friend and a lifelong partner in
(26:29):
my relationship. I think that is a very important thing,
at least it is to me, and I kind of
want my partner to think so as well.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
So whether or not, it doesn't really matter how sexual
you are, it's how you make me feel. Does that
make sense?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
And I think it was his first relationship, and I
think that that was really hard for him to understand,
and me, being the sexual person I am hearing that
I wasn't sexy never been told that in my life.
I've never been called ugly by a guy who I
was dating. I know that's not exactly what he said,
but hearing that I have my ego was never it's
never been more bruised upset because it's someone who I
(27:01):
cared about, is someone who I thought I was gonna marry,
and like, I've never loved anybody as much as I
loved my current, my most recent ex. So hearing that
literally felt like I got shot in the heart and
it went up my throat and down my asshole.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
I'm actually so glad you didn't marry him, because the
acting I would have had to do at that wedding.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
I'd been like, I love him a lot, you know,
even though.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Anyway, I'm actually very glad that none of us, none
of my friends have married their exes, because.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
They're all especially you know that one ex who you
know that you thought about the most walking down the
aisle too, I'm so happy that that person, for all
of us, will never be the person that we marry.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yeah no, because if I married my ex, how I
embarrassing that would have been. How crazy this man treated
me and I let him marry me? Wait, mad, I
say said to me, Actually, I have an entire folder
because it got so bad that. I was like, I
have to keep evidence of this because no one's ever
gonna believe me.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Is the folder open right now? Or do you just
have right?
Speaker 4 (28:00):
That's what I was doing?
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Okay, really, I think the amazing I said to me
was that I was going to die alone and this
is all one message I was going to dialone. I
was unlovable and that I was unbearably unstable.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I saw this text message by the way in the
flesh as.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
He was sending it, So this is she's not exaggerating
crazy because we were't even fighting. He just said that.
I was like, okay, yeahs la la, so yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
But do so that was that the meanest thing? Or
do you have any other ones in your book?
Speaker 4 (28:29):
He said so many things, but that one's like extra
stung because we weren't even fighting. He just said that.
I was like, Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Something that's stung for me was my high school boyfriend
who I dated senior year when he cheated on me.
He yelled at me for it as well. He said,
what he's because me and him were in this big,
big fight. Oh my god, it was senior week, you
guys remember senior week.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
He was so mad at me.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Because I wouldn't put out as you know, to politely
say it because we were in a fight, so I'm
not gonna like if I'm mad at you and obviously
and like duh.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
And he cheated on me.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
When we were having that fight about something completely separate,
completely separate, and I yelled at him and he yelled
at me three times like harder, like he was so
mad at me.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
It was like, man, sometimes I don't know.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
I my high school ex cheated on me. He told
me that was my fault because I made him feel
confident that is the winner. I was like, I don't know, ding, ding,
I don't know if you like thought about that beforehand
and like thought that was a good thing to say,
or if you came out with it in the moment.
I don't know which is worse. After we said that,
I was like, actually, be for real, because you know
what you just said that to me? You actually sound crazy.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
You were too nice to me, so I cheated on you.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
I was like, why, He's like made me feel good
about myself, so you decided to the didn't go and
get okay.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
That's so funny.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
I was gonna say something else about Raquel, I know
you guys might be sick of me, but I don't care.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Sorry, Raquel, what happened?
Speaker 4 (29:56):
When you do? You might say, Raquel from Barbie between.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
House, what a great show? I on ironically want love
that show so good.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Every episode is well where like Cann is like I
have no purpose in life. So he goes and tries
like all of these like different careers, like he's an astronaut,
he's a chef, and he like hates all of them
or he's like really bad at them. And then the
end of the episode he's like really sad because he's like,
sorry to spoil it, he was like really sad because
like I have no nothing, like no special talents, like
nothing to like work for like something special about me.
Speaker 4 (30:26):
And then Barbie's like can you open this jar can?
And he opens it and.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
And it sends me are you very excited for the
new Barbie movies?
Speaker 4 (30:36):
Like and ironically yes, yes, I don't like Ryan Gosling
as kid me neither.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
I think younger Ryan Gosling would have been awesome. And
this is not guys, I'm not being ages, but guys.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
It's really I'm not.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
But Margot Robbie to me it's just the the balance
is a little bit weird because Margot Robbie is so
much younger than Ryan.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
It just just looks it looks a little weird.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
Yeah, I feel like it might be bad if it's
bad and be upset.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Oh, I hope it's not bad.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Speaking of Barbie, Sydney and I on Monday went to
the official Barbie Cafe in New York.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
It was really really fun. It was ran, it was
rand was run. It was a grammar by the company
Bucket Listers, and it's in five eye. It's really really fun.
You guy should go if you can.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
But Sydney and I were invited to the opening and
it was the funniest thing ever. The people people came up.
I thought I was being extra by wearing a pink top.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
People showed up in costume costantay, they had costume changes.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
Yeah. I was like, oh, and those big.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Old cameras and then the stadium sports lights.
Speaker 4 (31:34):
I was like, okay, let's calm down a little bit.
So yeah, that was fun.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
And also speaking about movies.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
I'm nerving this excited for like a bunch of movies
to come out, like it's giving Summer twenty sixteen. This
summer is the summer movies like Little Mermaids coming out.
My dad texted me, was like, hey, said, want to
go see The Little room Maid with me? I was like, Oh,
I'm twenty three, so okay. I couldn't tell if he
was joking.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I was like, okay, you are not twenty three yet.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
Oh I've actually been telling everyone on twenty three, which
is gonna be a problem to my birthday's coming up soon.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
And they're like, oh, you're twenty four. I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Like this guy I went on a date with today,
he was like I was like, oh, how old are
you talking about? Sister is so young and she's twenty
and I was like I was like, oh my god,
how old are you? And he was like, I'm turning
thirty in August. How about you.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
I was like, well, I'm twenty three, which is gonna
be kind of scary because my birthday is in July.
He's gonna see this.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
My birthday it also coming up soon, like you can't
hide it, and you guys.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
Say no, no, I've already figured it out. I'm not
just talk about this while we were at the date.
I planned all of this. I'm going to get a
cake and actually know someone's gonna get a cake for me.
And when I get mine, you know who's.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Gonna get that cake for you. Don't even play around
like it's not gonna be me who gets the cake.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
They're gonna have to figure out how to not put
my age on the cake to like happy Jordan year
or cancer.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
Baby that might come off yeah, or like the other
like juveni baby cakes.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
It's like cute guess what would my sign have to
be the one that's weird telling and then or it'd
be like birthday girl, but like you can't put my name,
can't put my age on it?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
What about just happy birthday Sydney.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Yes, okay, no, don't no birthday and no number candles
and anyone who posts for me? No, no, no Jordan
yere no twenty three, no, no, don't need to talk
about my age, he says, my birthday, and then he'll
never know unless we get married, and I legally have
to tell him.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
I do love him, though, Yes, any went on a
date today and it went really well attactic.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
I don't even know if technically it was a day
for me. I don't know if it was for him,
but yeah, I could marry him.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I fear you're in love.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
You fear I'm Most people like I will know from
the first day if I'm gonna be with you or not.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
That's so not me. I take convincing, like, if you're
dating me, you actually have to because I love being single.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
If you guys, grab you, guys.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
I love being single like an absurd amount. So if
you want to date me, if I ever break up
with my mam is for all future men. If you
want to date me, you have to actually convince me
to love you. It takes a lot, but my man's perfect,
so that's how he convinced me. Anyway, This is actually
funny because I wanted to talk about this and you
were talking about the age thing. One of the first
(34:12):
times my man and I went out, this is in
like August or September of last year. We went to
this club in the East Village and we're standing in
this long ass line and it's a twenty three and
up club and I'm twenty two and a lot of
clubs that's like a loose age rule like at common Ground.
Technically it's a twenty five and up club, But if
(34:34):
it's like a slow night or something. They are, you know,
they're like fine with letting people who are like twenty.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
One, like in that range in.
Speaker 4 (34:43):
I was just like, don't get that.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Yeah, why, it's very weird. I guess to kind of
weed out the fake id's. But then it's like, okay,
what if you're actually twenty one? Okayay, So we're in
this line and the bouncer comes like through the line
and is like, okay, if you're you know, under twenty three,
you can't come in.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
And my man's twenty five. So he looked at me
and he was like, okay, we're fine. He thought I
was his age, so he goes, okay, we're fine.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Perfect, and everybody started to leave the line because I
guess it was a lot of younger people.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
And I looked at him. I go, no, we're not.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
He's like, wait, aren't you the same age as Chance,
who's our roommate who was like dating his friend at
the time, so hen knew her, and I go, yeah,
we're both. I said, she's twenty three. He said, oh, okay,
so you're twenty three. I said, not quite twenty two.
He thought my roommate was twenty five. And then twenty
three was hard for him, Like I said, no, she's
twenty three, and he went ooh, okay, well then you're
(35:32):
still fine because it's a twenty three and up club.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
I said, no, no, I mean you're younger than her.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
He goes because his younger brother is a year older
than me, So I think it's that's like me.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
The face looked like like it looked like he had
seen a ghost. But then we went and he had
a good time.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Anyway, Things like I only date guys older than my sister,
who's three years older than me.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
Like, actually, the one the guy I was just talking about,
I should talk about a lot of guys.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
The guy you going on a date with today.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
No, the guy that I had a situationship with is
the only guy I've ever dated who's younger than me.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Whoa, he is younger than you.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
Granted he's younger than me by a month.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Wait that's not true, yeah, Vegas guy? Or is he
your age?
Speaker 4 (36:19):
He's a month older?
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Oh wow, big spender?
Speaker 4 (36:23):
Like am I cougar man child?
Speaker 3 (36:27):
But yeah, he's a month younger than me. And that
was like too much. And he always has talk about
like I love to date older women. You need to
work on acting your own age first. But I did
date one guy who was a month older than me.
I just did not like dating guys my age because
I feel like guys mature so much more slowly, and
like I think it's perfect to date a guy older
(36:48):
like I usually date.
Speaker 4 (36:49):
I'm twenty two. Actually, I'm sorry, I'm twenty three. I
will be relatively soon to meet you're two whatever, whatever.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
I'm some age between the age of twenty two and
twenty two, and I tend to date guys that are
like twenty five to twenty nine because I think that
because I'm in law school, like I wouldn't like ideally, well,
ideally I would get married in three years, so like
after I graduate law school and after I worked for
(37:22):
a year, so I like enough money to like give
myself like a nice wedding, and then two more years
of like really focusing on my career and my marriage
before having kids. So it's like a five or six
year timeline, which I feel like may aren't ready to
start THEMS. It took the like thirty five, thirty six,
thirty four, so that puts us in the perfect range
to be on the same page. Yes, So I don't
like dating guys my age because when they're annoying and
(37:43):
they're immature, and then two, man.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
You pregnant is going to be something else.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
If I get pregnant, nose, I'm actually suing someone.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
I mean you with the cravings and the mood swings.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
Oh no, the mood swings actually ever get out my
legs exact like time to give birth, I'm gonna say, nope,
I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
I was like, it hurts chance and her foodswings are
gonna be funny too.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
Like I just know I have really low pain tolerance.
That's a little bitsculity.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Me with my food swings is gonna be funny because
I'm usually this very happy, bubbly person. So if I
ever get pregnant, I'm gonna have I feel these insane
mood swings.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
And the thing is like it's.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
Already working out now, already sucks. How a frick mina
bounce back from pregnancy. Oh and he's one of those
ones where it's like heet little like, oh my god,
she's pregnant or and she bloated.
Speaker 4 (38:34):
But I know, I just know myself. I know myself
so well, and I'm gonna be lularge like, that's me.
I know I gonna be huge. I already know I'm
wanting to be.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Pushing a watermelon through a keyhole is a lot of work,
and I feel like, give yourself grace, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 4 (38:47):
I feel like that work. You should learn. You would
lose a lot of calories when you do that. You
would think typically you would think that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
So what I didn't know is how much longer after
you give birth you still have your pregnancy tom Oh,
I'm sorry, Yeah, I really didn't know that. It was
like a long it's a long time. I never realized that,
you know, all you mommy's out there.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I am just so much respect. I'm just so scared.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Some people have like pregnancy glow, but I don't think
I'll be one of those people.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
If you have glow, it's going to be sweat from
That's what I feel for myself.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
I really hope an commercis, but you know what, it's
a beautiful thing to experience. I just hope that I
have a good partner to get through a way.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
I have a very cynical view on pregnancy. As much
respect as I have for mother's out there, especially because
I'm so close with.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
My own mom.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
I for myself, I have a very cynical view of pregnancy.
I feel like everything's going to go wrong and just
all this stuff. But you know, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (39:46):
That's something. It's so weird that you don't like Okay,
not no, if it's to you, I think it's so weird.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
People don't like children, like there you were once a child,
Like annoying, as like they're just small humans. They're annoying
and they're the same and they're the same ones that
are like if I like, I don't like dogs, oh
my gosh, like you literally have no heart in no soul,
you don't like your own kind, and you're away I
mean liking this dog, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
I know, yeah, I know that's how it is.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
Sometimes I also think because dogs can't speak, so they
can bark, But if you're from adult well I guess so,
Actually this kind of makes sense because I was just
about to say, if you're from a dog family, the
barking will bother you. But also, you know what's interesting,
I feel like if you have siblings, the crying and
the screaming doesn't bother you because you're so used to it,
if that makes sense. So older or younger siblings, and
(40:38):
you have younger siblings, chances a younger sibling, and.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
I don't have any siblings, So I think for me,
I just I'm like, well, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
I used to believe in a lot of spiritual stuff.
So I used to be religious when I was younger,
and then i used to be very spiritual in college, and.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Now I'm very agnostic, and I don't like.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
While I do believe personally there's a higher power out
there to some extent, I don't believe that they control
my fate. I do kind of believe in karma, but
for me, karma's not spiritual. I know it is for
a lot of people, but for me, it's literally just
as simple as what goes around comes around.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
I don't think it's like some cosmic like ah.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
But I do think that if you're a bad person,
it just so happens that bad things will happen to
you as well. You know what I mean, Because you're
like that negative energy, I guess is a better way
to describe it. We'll just come back and buy you
in the ass.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
What do you think about that?
Speaker 4 (41:36):
Like, I believe in karma.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
I just wish that there was some sort of like
submission center for her, right or like I respect the
work that you do, not trying to like trample on that.
I just do believe that like this one deserves like
a little bit more, you know, like here, allow you
some suggestions, like I would love to do that because
some people I'm kind of like, there's no way you
(41:58):
just like like both. Actually, the last two people I've
dated sex situationship and relationship, there's no way that you
dogged me for that long and it's got into a
perfect relationship.
Speaker 4 (42:10):
I just don't think that's possible or fair. So you know,
like look goes around, comes around. That's all I gotta say.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Do you know the song I Hope by Gabby Barrett?
The song was like I hope, Okay, I hope you
did it? No, okay, Well that's a country song for me.
That's why you don't know it. She's just sag in
the song that she hopes for her ex to fall
in love, find.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
The perfect woman, spend all of his money on this
ring for her, and then she hopes that she cheats
on him.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Like he did on her.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
Basically, and I would just like to emphasize that like
you do in an I message text and then retweet
that and then also repost that on LinkedIn.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Like I just really like, on the surface, I actually
really do hope that everyone is happy and things work
out for everyone and that like the world is perfect
and that's good for you, Smiley, But part of me
that's like I really respect you to you did me wrong,
so maybe maybe someone will do you wrong.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
I do wish people well, just to an extent, you know,
like I wish that there's food on their table and
that they survive. But yeah, yeah, truly, I would never
wish death or torture pain on anyone, really like physical pain.
But I feel like sometimes it seems only fair that
you caused me so much emotional pain for zero reason
(43:26):
that I kind of hope you feel a little bit
of a taste of your own medicine.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
I think that's only human, I think, though I.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
Think it's more so for me, not because I want
them to be hurt, but I just finally want them
to understand the like.
Speaker 4 (43:39):
How their actions feel.
Speaker 3 (43:40):
Yes, I know, because like for so for so much
that there's no remorse or like, like you're being dramatic
it over it.
Speaker 4 (43:46):
But like if you felt the pain that I felt,
maybe you'd understand, you know.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
So yeah, so would it be fair to say that
you want them not necessarily to feel the pain.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
But the empathy you like, or.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
You know, like a little I think, while it's totally
humanis thing stuff like that it is also really important
to say. And Syny and I talk about this all
the time, especially when I know, for example, I'm feeling
a certain type of way about something and the feelings
are a little prolonged. Sitting always will tell me to,
you know, in difference, she will tell me that indifference
(44:19):
is like better to feel than hate.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (44:23):
Like it's healthier for you, It keeps your sanity, and
it is selfish in the best way. It's like not
even thinking about that person is the best revenge.
Speaker 3 (44:31):
Like that's like where I'm at now and think all
of my past relationships is why I feel ready to
date again, and like I feel ready but also not ready,
like I feel writing in the sense of like I
want to meet someone and like have someone in my
life that I knew in that way, but at the
same time, like I'm not ready because I don't want
to like go back on my progress and give myself
or give someone else emotional power over me. But I
(44:52):
think that in terms of like people have don't be
wrong in the past, or like I've probably had like
two like big relationships that affected me. I feeling different
towards both of them now and like they both have
girlfriends now, and like good for them. I would never
wish how they treated me upon those girls because like
those girls are in sansitions, like they're innocent, I think.
(45:13):
But at the same time, it's like I can recognize it,
like they did me wrong. They don't deserve access to me,
and it leave it at that, you know, Like I'm
just glad that you know it took me like X
amount of time to get away from that situation. I
did get away, and like that's most important thing to me,
And like all I can do is use what they
did to me to like better understand myself, better grow
(45:34):
and like mind stating of myself. So now that I'm
in a good place for like I know what I
want at a relationship, and like I know that what
those people did to me is limited to them. It's
not gonna happen with every single guy that I meet, Like,
I feel like I'm in a better mental place now.
So like I've done the lessons, I've done the soul
searching whatever. I know they have it, but that's not
my business, it's not my concern. So that's where I'm
(45:56):
at right now.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Yeah, I like that a lot.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
I also think that if if you are, if your
brain is focused on revenge or hatred, the best way
to kind of satisfy that urge is to rechannel that
energy on yourself in a positive way. You know, it's
to like when Ariana, for her breakup, whent to Lisa
Vanner Pump for advice, Lisa is like the conglomerate who
owns the restaurants that all these people work at. When
(46:19):
she went to her for advice, Lisa was saying, I
know you're sad right now, but good things will come
for you.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Like just think of the light that.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
Is coming your way because of the hardship you just
had to go through for ten years, like down the drain.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Can't even imagine what that's like.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
But Lisa advised Ariana to really focus on the positive
energy that's coming her way.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Everyone is on her side, you know about this, which.
Speaker 1 (46:41):
They should be in my opinion, But I think Lisa
was like focused on like the positive energy you're getting
and just think about the light that's coming your way,
Like there's something big and good that's coming for you.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
You just have to wait for it.
Speaker 3 (46:51):
And like in situations like that, like even though it's
hard and like, no matter what anyone says too advice wise,
it's going to be freaking annoying because like I've got
cheating on sometimes a ten year different situation. But I
think that like the best thing you can tell yourself
in those situations is that like, at least, thank God,
thank whoever you believe in, that you're not with that
person anymore. Yeah, Like you might be sad that like
(47:13):
it's happening publicly and like you just found out, but
at least you're not living in like an a situation
where like you think that you're in a good relationship
or you're happy and they're doing the stuff behind your back.
At least you know and you're out of it now,
like you can only go up from there.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
Yeah, And one thing that she.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Said that kind of resounded with me from my last
breakup is she said, I want to miss him, and
I do miss him. But I feel like I'm missing
a version of him that never existed, and to me,
that rings so true. I felt very similar feelings in
my last breakup especially, and I think Personi's point think
about that, and I know that might make you feel
(47:47):
a little bit stupid, because I know it did for me,
like I was in love with someone who wasn't even
there basically, But don't think of it like that. You
have to give yourself grace and recognize that that's the
mask that they put on. That is not your fault.
That they portrayed a certain version of themselves to you.
You and you fell in love with that version that
is never That is never your fault, and you are
not stupid.
Speaker 3 (48:04):
You know.
Speaker 4 (48:05):
That just shows like your capacity to love.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
You know, it shows their psycho And I think that,
I mean, I'm not calling my exo psycho because he wasn't,
but I'm saying that, like that form of masking is
really really hard to get over. But just think about that,
like that person who you did. It's while it can
make you feel stupid, sometimes it is kind of a
form of comfort where it's like the person I was
in love with, I can't miss him because he was
never really there.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
That's why I try to like decenter them from the
feeling yes that like, yeah, it sucks to hurt someone
like you don't think was there or like didn't cheat
e the way you thought that they did. At the
same time, that just shows how much love you have
to give. You just gave it, just not to the
right person.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
And there are you know, that version who you thought
you fell in love with of that person that was
never really there, that's out there.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Amazing guys do exist and once you.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Find yeah, maybe I don't know, she's still out, but
once you do find a really good guy or not. Okay,
I'm gonna phrase that because you know, don't try to
find shit. But in your next healthy relationship, you're going
to realize if a relationships is you know your journey,
you're going to realize that good men do exist, and
you're just gonna look back and say, like City said,
(49:10):
thank God that I got out of that when I did,
because what good I have in my life I would
have never had.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
If I didn't good man him being I might move
to France. Oh take me with you, I was speaking
about today. Okay, like after I like work a few
years like, I don't speak French and I don't know
anyoney France, oh Sydney in Paris, but we bag it.
Speaker 4 (49:31):
You might catch me there.
Speaker 2 (49:34):
Uh So, in conclusion, we think that the right person,
wrong time very questionable.
Speaker 1 (49:42):
We think that if they wanted to, they would is
true with the slight Asterist, and we also think that
the right person right time.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
Do we ever talk about the right person right time?
Speaker 1 (49:54):
I think we all just I think that kind of
led us into the conversation of the cosmic universe and
how much of an influence do we think that actually
on our lives. So hope you guys love this episode.
We shall love you, and we're happy to be back.
Expect another episode next week or maybe a couple in between,
because we got to catch up.
Speaker 4 (50:11):
We love you.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
Make sure to follow us on TikTok and Instagram at
Crying in Public Podcasts, and you can listen to us
on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and iHeart
Speaker 2 (50:20):
Goodbye.
Okay, so it has been thirteen years since Supercord.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
You know what I can't explain, Sydney take it away.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
I had finals, yes, and I had four finals for
four hour finals.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I was gonna say, Sydney, how long are those finals?
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Four hours?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
So I like remind you, like the way law school
works is that you only get one grade for the
entire class. So it was all writing on this four
hour exam. So I had to do a last time
being so I couldn't record. And then something super traumatic
happened after my last exam, so I like really couldn't record.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
You've probably seen it and news.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Actually I don't why anone would have seen it unless
you literally go to Columbia.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yeah, they kept it kind of down on the low.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Yeah, most because they won't literally tell us what happened.
I had to go digging. So basically I was in
my final exam.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
And trigger warning and like stabbing, yeah okay, Well I
just like literally okay.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Yeah, sure, you're warning violence.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
And I was taking my towards exam and they put
us on lockdown. And by lockdown, I mean they came
into the room screaming, crying, talking about stay call girls,
stay calm you not calm, You're freaking me out because
they just ran into a room and they're like everyone,
stop your exams, and we're like okay, and then everyone's
like why, Like we're in the middle of a four
hour exam and.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
How far into it did you get before?
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Like an hour and a half.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Okay, so it's only two questions, but it's like two
thousand words per question, jesus. So they're like, stop your exam.
She's like crying, and we're like hello, like what's wrong.
She's like, we're having we're having an emergency in the lobby.
Just like I close your laptop, stop taking exam, and
just stay here.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Mind you.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
This is how I learned that our like law school,
does not have the infrastructure for like a lockdown. I
don't think cause like I don't know about you guys,
but in our high school, in the school, like we
had like lockdown procedures because while we had a school shooting.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
But well, I mean yeah we did too. I feel
like that's pretty standard.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Like and even like before our school shooting, like there
wasn't necessarily like like there was stuff something in place,
like just to know something's happening.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Yeah, I think it's more for like weather.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Than like, well you're in Florida, that makes sense, like
hurricanes or I don't even know.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
They don't have kicks in Florida.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Even like when we did have our school incident in
high school, like there was something in place. I think
the law school has that because let people run into
exam rooms and being like stop everyone, don't cry or
freak out what I don't tell you what's wrong, but
sit here like obviously we're freaking out.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
I didn't why you didn't have any practices like that?
Right do you remember?
Speaker 4 (02:50):
And so they like keep sorry, and.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I don't why you we didn't have any practices like that.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I feel I don't know, and I think it's inter
is different in the sense that like there's so many
different buildings, but like even in my high school, my
high school had a lot of different buildings, but it
was like it was outside, but there was like a
central bell system that you can use for a lockdown.
But like NYU, there wouldn't be one because there's so
many like you know in Washington, washingt Storre Park Lord
have mercy the ones who probably would.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Have had right.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
So the only difference is the law school was one building,
so I don't know why there was nothing in.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Place, but oh, I see what you mean.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Okay, So yeah, I wad stop for exam. It's never
happened before, so I never really knew what was going on.
Apparently a woman and her acquaintance came into law school building,
got some location in the lobby, and someone ended up
stabbing the other a lot of times. So there's that happened,
and it was really scary. Zurmind me of high school
(03:41):
like all this stuff, So yeah's super traumatic. Key And
then I I they extended our period for doing our exam.
We had to do online. Now it's like a whole
thing of like we already solved the questions. Some people
took it earlier that day because they had extra time
or were going on like their trips or something, so
like they already finished the exam on a normal conditions,
like how is it going.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
To be fair?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
So it was like a lot of back and forth
the law school and students, and then we did end
up finishing our exams until Sunday, so it just like
pushed a lot of timelines back. So that's why you
couldn't record. But we're back now. Ah ah, we're back.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Back and better than ever.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
But it was so crazy to hear about that too,
because Sindny was kind of texting her group chat as
was happening, and Sydney likes to lead.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
With like, oh the way.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I was so stressed out because you like to lead
with like the thing that's happening.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
But meanwhile, Chance and I like.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
She texted in our group chat like I just started
blood curling, scream freaking.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Out in the building whatever.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
And then I think you guys are being let outside,
so you didn't text us for like five minutes. Yeah,
And I was like she's dead, like because you know,
my mind always goes to like the worst possible point.
And I was with my boyfriend and I literally started
shobbing saking on the floor or stobbing shaking on the floor.
He was like, are you okay? And then you finally
I looked like an idiot because then you texted or fine.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Like it was like I was trying to call my parents,
but here then we're answering. I finally my dad was
I'll hit you later. I was like, no, hold on,
before you go, and my grandma called me. I was
like I heard what happened, girl?
Speaker 4 (05:06):
How did you hear?
Speaker 3 (05:07):
I haven't heard. So my dad got the news on
deck that she got all the apps, all the news alerts,
so she knew before I knew.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
But that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I didn't see any news articles about until the next day.
But AnyWho, I'm so glad you're okay.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I don't know what I would do if anything happen
to you. I'm happy that like it was an isolated incident. Also,
and like she is she in critical condition, She's still alive, right,
she's still alive.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Her thing is like grow white god, knife and your purse.
Use your words, Like, use your word. I think the
escalation needs to be taught to people because you just
want to be fighting here. It's kind of crazy and
like makes me so imagine talking about gun control because
I just like it's like a very clear solution.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
People were like, well, you're gonna take away am I right,
the government, Yes we are, that's exactly what's happening.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Actually.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Also, that amendment was written in a totally different time. Also,
it was written at a point where like a government
takedown or go overthrow was possible.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
And now look at how much we progressed.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
You know, you never actively over over government when they
wrote it.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
So, yeah, your revolver in your basement is not gonna overthrow.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
The government like you have to relax. It's not that seep.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
So on a less serious topic I wanted to. So
we're recording this on Thursday eighteenth. I don't know if
the episode's gonna be posted today, but probably, but if
it's not, just you know, travel back in time with me.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I just watched the vander Pump Rules season finale.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Unfortunately, to my deepest upsetness, Sydney does not watch vander
Pump Rules, so I cannot talk about this with her. However,
I can yell into this mic so that I will
do only for a very short time because all my girlfriends,
literally except for Sidney, watched the show. So I'm hoping
that a lot of our audience here watches it.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
You guys, you guys, you guys, you guys. The moment when.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Tom was screaming at Ariana for him like about him
cheating on her for seven months after they were in
a ten year relationship and what broke my heart because
I haven't caught up with the past like three seasons,
but I did watch season ten, like the or the
last year whatever season this is. I watched like that,
and what broke my heart? And I didn't know that
(07:16):
Arianna had She never wanted kids, she never wanted to
get married, but she made Tom like an appointment where
they would go and freeze her eggs so that if
he ever wanted to have kids, like he could and
then she would and this and she really was her.
She really was his rider or die because I don't
know if you know this, Sydney, but he did concerts
(07:36):
and he was like a singer hat a little band,
and this man cannot sing. He has no musical talent.
His songs are bad like and everybody kind of thought
it was cringey. But now that this whole thing happened
with Ariana and everyone's really on Ariana's side. They're boycotting
his restaurants. He has two restaurants. They're boycotting his concerts,
his music, et cetera. And he, oh my god, James
really said it right. He really does look like a
(07:56):
worm with a mustache.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
One.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So him looking up jumping on that stage, I'm jumping
up on that stage looking like whatever, literally just personifies
the worm with a mustache statement, he looks a mess,
and then she would go to his concerts and just
support him so much through all that thick and thin.
And they had this agreement, which I actually think is
really really precious when and you can appreciate this, Cinny,
(08:18):
I think being in the public eye as well is
they had this agreement where they both started the show
together and essentially said, no matter what happens in our
personal lives, we will never embarrass each other on the
TV show. So like, if you cheat, okay, fine, we're
gonna break up, but we're not gonna talk about it
on the TV show. You know, stuff like that. I
don't want to submit you to that kind of public
(08:41):
like criticism.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
And my thing is, if you even have to make
that agreement, do not be with that person. If you
have to make an agreement just in case someone cheats,
that means you think they're going to cheat, even if
it's one chance of you thinks that.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Well, So guess how Tom and Arianna got together.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
How they Well.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
So Tom's eating this girl, Kristen, and he cheated on
her with Arianna. I mean they only kissed, but still
to my knowledge, but still like the same thing happened.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
But now Ariana Kristener are like besties. I think it's
really cute. And they had this agreement.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Basically Tom broke that agreement because the public basically found
out before Ariana did. There were rumors that Tom was
cheating on her with her call that entire time. But
finally like it came out on the TV show and
Arion on Ariana was like, fuck you, this is the
worst thing you could have done. You not only broke
our trust in the relationship, but you broke this agreement
that we've kept for ten years.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
So Tom had already cheated on her once and she
found out and.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
It came up in the episode, and Arianna defended Tom
to the ends of the earth after knowing that he cheated,
like she knew that he cheated on her, and not
only did you stay in the relationship, you know, which
is something to be said there, but she defended him
on TV like she was like, he did not cheat.
This is an amazing person you're looking at here, Like
Arianna is just genuinely a good person off and on screen.
(09:55):
So I think that's why everybody rallied around her so much.
When this whole scandalval came out, and it was really
funny because Raquel showed up in like the first ten
minutes of this finale episode and.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Then this it was so dramatic.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
This dark screen came over and it said Raquel was
not available for comment, nor was available to be reached
by anybody except for her family. I think she went
to a mental health facility, which is like good. I mean, obviously,
public perception can be very harmful and like can bring
us to some pretty dark places.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
So I'm happy she's getting the help she needs.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
But she is a cunt and like she is like
just going and getting the help now, which is good.
But it was just funny the way that the TV
show broadcasted it on like this black screen. It was
all very true crimey. It was hilarious. What do you
think about all that?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Because I'm also just like, if, and I believe this
so strongly, if you meet someone or get with someone
by cheating, like by men cheating.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
On their partner, what in the world, like.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Actually point me to the thing in the world, the
thought in the world, the idea in the world that
they would not do the same thing to you. You like,
they just showed you who they were and their character
in fact that they're not loyal or respectful, and do
you think they're magically going to change their behavior? And like,
I was thinking about this a lot this week because
(11:12):
I also it kills me because I feel like all
the names in that show are just like Abcdog, like
Tom rakel Ariana and Stacey and Sara and Lina Im
like Okay.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
One if Sinny's really good friends from law school also
follows vnder pump roles.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
So Sinny doesn't know all the names. She just doesn't
know what the fuck's going.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
Don't know any of the business.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah, And I was seeing on this a lot this
week because one of my exes somehow rechtrat back reached
back out to me. Actually two of my exes did,
and I was like, oh, not the moon in retrograde.
And I really don't know how this This man is
blocked on everything Venmo email, my school, email, my NYU email,
(11:50):
my like diva girl, whatever email went out from.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
I'm like five deep a girl.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
He's walked on Twitter, he's walked on Instagram, he's walked
on the crank public Instagram, He's walked on my fin stuff.
This man only thing he's not blocked off is facebooks.
I don't know how to block someone on Facebook go
on Facebook, so I did think it's funny.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Though I never opened my Facebook.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
I see his little life updates of like me and
this girl are dgging, and I'm kind of like I
didn't realize people still did that, which I thought was interesting.
But are you thirty five?
Speaker 4 (12:17):
Yeah? Yes, actually that the girl is.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
But he DM me And at first I was like,
this is so full circle because the amount of times
that I found him getting in contact with this ex'es
in like very weird ways, like dming them off of
like Instagram like whatever. He would always get back in
contact with them when we were together and be like, oh,
I'm just checking in on them. But I knew it
(12:41):
was like a way for him to like, you know,
try and get back in there. So I'm like, not
you doing this to the girl that you cheated on
me with, Like you're doing the exact same behavior did
with me with her, and like as much as like
he didn't mean a lot to be and like the
four years who were.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Together, it's like.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
I genuinely, well, one, I don't feel any ill will
towards the girl because she probably even know we were together,
because he's a pathologic choir. He probably she probably still
doesn't know. And honestly, I would never wish how he
treated me onto anyone, no matter who the person is,
even though she did know that he was with me,
and so, like I did genuinely, genuinely pray and hope
(13:20):
that somehow he woke up one day and decided to
stop being an awful person and like learn loyalty and
respect and how to treat a woman like I honestly
do wish that that's what happened, and like he does
treat her well, But this just showed me that, like
he's the exact same person, and I do feel really
bad for her. It's so longer my business or concerns.
I'm not getting involved in terms of like letting her
know or anything. But I think it just reminded me that,
(13:40):
like treaters will always cheat most of the time, and
like so many talks of behaviors that we see in
people that we try and like come up with excuses for,
they are always gonna be That's just who they are,
you know it. Some times that's hard to accept and
I would love to believe, like of the topic of
this episode. That's some way to put that. It's right
person wrong times. I would say, like, oh, maybe him
(14:00):
and I will get back together when we're I of
course like hopes that, like if we got older. He's
already old as hell, so I don't know what his
excuse was, but we'd get back together, like after a
law school or something, and like we'd just being different
places and have a canny level respect for each other
and maybe it would work out, like we would end
up together. But I think I just realized that there
(14:23):
really is no such thing as right person, wrong time,
because if you really did respect that person, or value
that person, or want that person, or prioritize that person, like,
you would find ways to change whatever the circumstances or
the issue is, to make things work. If you actually
wanted to be with him, you know, it's like leaving
it up to fate or hoping that the world CAUs
cosmic car what's the way, cosmic kismet like chismetically, that's
(14:50):
the word, but the Englishman is always changing. Chismetically come
into the perfect alignment of probus. See back together. That
does happen for some people, but that's usually just a
adopt of their own like efforts, you know. So I'm
just like a very strong proponent of like if it
was meant to be, it would have been, and like
and if they wanted to, they would have exactly, and
like I had an asterisk between if they went into
(15:12):
they would have because like sometimes things do happen. But
like part of me in my head was like this
might not make any sense when I say it out loud,
but I think about this a lot. Like if they
wanted to, they would. There are times when I do
want to, but I don't because I'm embarrassed, like I
don't want to text them first, like why would I
do that?
Speaker 4 (15:27):
And then I'm like if you wanted too, they would.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
But that's what I'm saying. So you like you don't
want to, So you didn't, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (15:31):
But I wanted to. I just didn't because I was scared.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Well, so the scaredness makes you not made it made
this You being scared made you not want to.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Does that make sense? Yeah, So like it's not that
it's your fault. It's just like in the end is
like you.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Might have and also feelings are complicated, like you can
want to do something and not want to do something
at the same time.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Yeah, you know, it's life isn't always that simple.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
But to me, I also have an asterisk in the
first on the first phrase wrong person right or right
person wrong time. I think that might only apply to
young young people. So I'm talking like I'm talking upper
middle school, lower high school, or even all of high school.
Because you're still living with your parents, your brain is
(16:11):
definitely not anywhere near fully developed yet. I think maybe
that can apply. And then also, you're moving away from
your hometown to go to college, so really the phrase
even if they wanted to, they would not necessarily because
going to college is out of someone's control. So it's
stuff like that where I think that asterisk also comes
into play.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
And you know, you could be dating.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I've heard the story actually a lot of people who
are married now and who are in very healthy relationships
who were together in college I mean in high school,
had to separate for college and then found each other
again after that.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
So I think maybe right.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Person, wrong time could apply there, perhaps in some cases,
but normally totally not. You know, I, as someone who
doesn't believe in like fate or you know, universal influence,
I think that right person.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Wrong time, time is just a way to justify.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
It's a It's a way to put reasoning on something
that you can necessarily control or find reasoning with. It's
a way to get closure when in reality, you should
be finding that within yourself, not relying on some cosmic
balance to you know, define your you know what could
have been. I think it's kind of a cop out.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
I agree, because, for example, like after all of my
ex stuff happened, I was in one of those headspasis
that I'm actually currently in as well as where I'm like,
I don't a man to look at me or touch me,
Like I'm so good with being alone.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
Actually I kind of doing a way from right now.
But that's just that's a whole other thing.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Again, Feelings are complicated. You could like, you can like
the single life, but also kind of.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
I want to be I want to be single with
the boyfriend and not even single, not even single.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
In these cases, the feelings are very complicated.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Not even single because I want to flirt with other guys,
but I just like don't want my emotions to be
tied to someone's behavior. But at the same time, I
do want a cute lit boyfriend to go on the
lot beat anyway, that's a whole other conversation. I have
my crillics back on. I just feel like it just
like feels like my personality is.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Back as of that, I'm so sad. I want my crylics.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
I'm so dead.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
I wanted to get square because I was like, let
me change it up a little bit. And then my
meal girl was like no. I was like, okay, it
just like you have chunky fingers.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
I was like, yeah, you're right, like ma lady. So
I got coffin. Anyway, that was like so many side stories.
What are we talking about? Oh? Yes?
Speaker 3 (18:29):
So like I was were much in that high sat
off like I don't wantnyone to look at me or
touch me, like I'm so tired of beating hurt by men,
like it's giving me myself and I twenty twenty two.
And then someone who like actually was kind of my
best friend, am astract question Mark. I ended up getting
like very very very very very deep feelings for which
(18:50):
like somehow I had more feelings for hamilated for my
like long term relationship, which I was like obsessed with him.
So that was a little scary. It was very much
like a situationship that lasts for like a semester or
a few months. And I think my in my head
the whole time, because we kept saying it to each
other that it was like very much like right person,
wrong time, Like I would say, yourself being together like
five years from now or like after law school, like
(19:11):
you have to like get through whatever, like he's going
through something I'm going through something like we'll work it
out eventually, And we would always say that and then
back of my head, like I get that. Gave me
so much hope, and he gave me excuse after excuse
after excuse that's like why you couldn't commit to me now,
including some very just like outlandish excuses that like I
just don't even believe, like I'm actually mad myself sitting
(19:33):
there listening to it, only for him to turn around
and start dating someone like actually two weeks later, some
random girl, and so all my excuses he gave me
was like, oh, you can't understand like culture blah blah,
and then whatever. Anyway, I just hate that I let
myself be like dragged into that idea of like, oh,
like the world will work it out, like when he's
ready i'll be here or work out. No, all these
(19:56):
excuses give me as to why I can't be together
were exactly that excuses. If he wanted to, he could
have addressed every single one of the things, because he
did with this girl. So I think it's just a
way of telling someone I do not want to be
with you. And I think people are scared to be
honest about their feelings nowadays, either that or they're just
too honest. So I've seen some tiktoks guys like I
actually hite your face, I want to cheat any And
(20:16):
I'm like, why would you say that, especially in writing?
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Are you crazy?
Speaker 3 (20:20):
So I think that when people do use that excuse,
it's just a way for them to kind of say
what they want to say without actually saying it, like
you're just too scared to say it's not going to
work out, or like I'm not going to do the
work necessary to make this work.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, agreed.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
That also brings me back to Vanda Pump Rules, because
Arianna and like her friend were sitting because so Tom
and Arianna have alse together, which again whole other level
of fucked up, and Ariana and her friend are sitting
on the couch Ariana. Tom is not there. At this point,
Ariana is ripping Tom a new one. She's saying, he's ugly,
he gives for the egg, he's an awful person, he's
(20:57):
the worst, he's the sea word, et cetera.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
And then Tom is there the whole time, just in
the other.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Rooms, so you just see him. It's like the first
scene of the finale, episode two, and you see him
just walk around the corner like and Ariana looks at him,
and then he goes to the kitchen to get a snack,
and he goes, this is so funny. He goes, do
you want anything? Obviously he's feeling dejected because he just
heard his ex call him ugly and stuff.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
I mean, I probably ate that a little bit, Belie.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
No, no, she did, she ate?
Speaker 3 (21:23):
She ate.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
So he went to go get a snack and then
asked her do you want anything? She looks at him,
does not skip a beat.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I feel like this is something you could do, Sidney,
except probably maybe not.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
She looks at him, doesn't even skip a beat, with
the smoothest tenor of her voice, looks at him and
goes for you to die.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Oh, and I have never last or if I.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
Would have thought I have said it.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Yes, yes, I think it's something you might have crossed.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
What's the meanest thing you've ever said to a guy?
Like in a fight?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
The meanest thing I've ever said to a guy is
that he never made he never gave me a pleasure.
I'm trying to think of a way to say it.
You know, you guys can pick up what I'm putting down.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
I mean, is that I mean if it's true?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Well, yeah, definitely wasn't true. But oh wait, wait, I'm sorry,
I can't. So I actually can't say the meanest thing
I've ever said to a guy because if he listened,
he would know.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
And I don't really go cover with that.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
But like, that's not even me because I know he couldn't.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
No, yeah it was.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
It's always awkward saying that to someone's face. But anyway,
so I just off Mike said the meanest thing I've
ever said to someone, and so he said, it's not mean.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
If it's true.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Mine, I told my ex that he was rotten to
the core.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I feel like that's not that mean either.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
In the moment, No, girl, I hadn't. I hadn't send
my notes for so long. I was like next time
you pissited off. I'm not the time to tell him this.
And I sat there and he's literally, okay, story time, Okay.
He went on a boy ship to Vegas, and I knew,
I knew that he was gonna cheat on me. So
I did what any smart woman would do. I put
a box of like unopened condoms in his suitcase, just
(23:03):
so you know, I know that they're there.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
I'm there because I grant cheating on at least be protected.
And then that is so funny. We tried told a
start on the podcast before.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
But anyway, I unpacked his back when he got back
and the box was no longer wrapped, so I knew
that had been used, and so I just blew up
on him.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
I was like, you know what, I'm done. I'm done.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
I never were sitting on his bed and he was
just laying there with the like a nob look on
fet like he could not care less. He just didn't
there like a like a flat look on his face.
I'm saying every single insult that I had been keeping
in the notes app since the first week we started dating.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
And Ron's the core kind of like was like the endpoint.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
And when I said that he started, boohoo, why would
you say that this is literally so mean? Because I
meant it actually because I like, how are you such
a bad person or like so unempathetic that you do
not care about hurting someone, like you go into situations
with the intention of hurting someone for what twenty five minutes.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
Of whatever, that's five minutes. But they're dating now, so
maybe they were.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Yah.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Oh my god, I will never forget this.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
One time, freshman year of college, I was in this
little friend group and I had only hung out with
this friend. So friend group very loose term because I
had only hung out with these girls in the friend
group for one night. It's I would be bonded or
anything like. We literally just hung out and drank together
at a party. And then this guy that they were
friends with I had known from before, and one of
(24:27):
the girls in the group the night before had said
that he was hot, and I was like, okay, And
then the next day I got with him because guess what,
I thought he was hot too, and I told her
I thought that the night before, and then they all
took it upon themselves to sit me down the next
day and rip like, actually three new buttholes into my
but they ripped it so far and so wide it
(24:51):
was disgusting. They called me like a psychopath.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
It was nuts.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
So when I think about that, and then I think
about your ex, and then I think about my ex,
and then I think about Tom and Arianna and Raquel,
who arian and Raquel were literally best friends, it's just
so funny.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Perspective is everything like, it's just so crazy? Wait and
even deal with it?
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Follow up question, that's the amazing amand's ever said to you.
I actually have an entire folder and it's all from
the same person.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
If you don't remember, if you haven't been listening to
the podcast for a long time, Hi, this is Sarah.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I'm a very sexual person and.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
I have sorry that introduction.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Actually I have no problem hiding that or I'm very
confident my sexuality and I don't care.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Obviously I'm not going to divulge, but you know, that's
just who I am.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
And my ex A big problem that me and him
had was he was not as sexual as I am,
which was not the issue.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Was totally fine. We dated for two and a half years,
so it was fine.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
And at the end of our relationship, I think when
I said that I wanted to break he said.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I can't remember exactly.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
What it was, but it was something like I hardly
want to have I never want to have or it
was like I hardly ever want to have sex with
you anymore.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I don't find you sexy. Something like that, and I have.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
In my life in he was trying to be cause
I was addressing some problems and he was like, I
just literally don't find you like sexy. In that way,
I think he thought of me more as like a
friend and life partner rather than a sexual being. And
I would prefer to be viewed as a sexual being
in addition to a friend and a lifelong partner in
(26:29):
my relationship. I think that is a very important thing,
at least it is to me, and I kind of
want my partner to think so as well.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
So whether or not, it doesn't really matter how sexual
you are, it's how you make me feel. Does that
make sense?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
And I think it was his first relationship, and I
think that that was really hard for him to understand,
and me, being the sexual person I am hearing that
I wasn't sexy never been told that in my life.
I've never been called ugly by a guy who I
was dating. I know that's not exactly what he said,
but hearing that I have my ego was never it's
never been more bruised upset because it's someone who I
(27:01):
cared about, is someone who I thought I was gonna marry,
and like, I've never loved anybody as much as I
loved my current, my most recent ex. So hearing that
literally felt like I got shot in the heart and
it went up my throat and down my asshole.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
I'm actually so glad you didn't marry him, because the
acting I would have had to do at that wedding.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
I'd been like, I love him a lot, you know,
even though.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Anyway, I'm actually very glad that none of us, none
of my friends have married their exes, because.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
They're all especially you know that one ex who you
know that you thought about the most walking down the
aisle too, I'm so happy that that person, for all
of us, will never be the person that we marry.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yeah no, because if I married my ex, how I
embarrassing that would have been. How crazy this man treated
me and I let him marry me? Wait, mad, I
say said to me, Actually, I have an entire folder
because it got so bad that. I was like, I
have to keep evidence of this because no one's ever
gonna believe me.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Is the folder open right now? Or do you just
have right?
Speaker 4 (28:00):
That's what I was doing?
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Okay, really, I think the amazing I said to me
was that I was going to die alone and this
is all one message I was going to dialone. I
was unlovable and that I was unbearably unstable.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I saw this text message by the way in the
flesh as.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
He was sending it, So this is she's not exaggerating
crazy because we were't even fighting. He just said that.
I was like, okay, yeahs la la, so yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
But do so that was that the meanest thing? Or
do you have any other ones in your book?
Speaker 4 (28:29):
He said so many things, but that one's like extra
stung because we weren't even fighting. He just said that.
I was like, Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Something that's stung for me was my high school boyfriend
who I dated senior year when he cheated on me.
He yelled at me for it as well. He said,
what he's because me and him were in this big,
big fight. Oh my god, it was senior week, you
guys remember senior week.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
He was so mad at me.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Because I wouldn't put out as you know, to politely
say it because we were in a fight, so I'm
not gonna like if I'm mad at you and obviously
and like duh.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
And he cheated on me.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
When we were having that fight about something completely separate,
completely separate, and I yelled at him and he yelled
at me three times like harder, like he was so
mad at me.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
It was like, man, sometimes I don't know.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
I my high school ex cheated on me. He told
me that was my fault because I made him feel
confident that is the winner. I was like, I don't know, ding, ding,
I don't know if you like thought about that beforehand
and like thought that was a good thing to say,
or if you came out with it in the moment.
I don't know which is worse. After we said that,
I was like, actually, be for real, because you know
what you just said that to me? You actually sound crazy.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
You were too nice to me, so I cheated on you.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
I was like, why, He's like made me feel good
about myself, so you decided to the didn't go and
get okay.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
That's so funny.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
I was gonna say something else about Raquel, I know
you guys might be sick of me, but I don't care.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Sorry, Raquel, what happened?
Speaker 4 (29:56):
When you do? You might say, Raquel from Barbie between.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
House, what a great show? I on ironically want love
that show so good.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Every episode is well where like Cann is like I
have no purpose in life. So he goes and tries
like all of these like different careers, like he's an astronaut,
he's a chef, and he like hates all of them
or he's like really bad at them. And then the
end of the episode he's like really sad because he's like,
sorry to spoil it, he was like really sad because
like I have no nothing, like no special talents, like
nothing to like work for like something special about me.
Speaker 4 (30:26):
And then Barbie's like can you open this jar can?
And he opens it and.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
And it sends me are you very excited for the
new Barbie movies?
Speaker 4 (30:36):
Like and ironically yes, yes, I don't like Ryan Gosling
as kid me neither.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
I think younger Ryan Gosling would have been awesome. And
this is not guys, I'm not being ages, but guys.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
It's really I'm not.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
But Margot Robbie to me it's just the the balance
is a little bit weird because Margot Robbie is so
much younger than Ryan.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
It just just looks it looks a little weird.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
Yeah, I feel like it might be bad if it's
bad and be upset.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Oh, I hope it's not bad.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Speaking of Barbie, Sydney and I on Monday went to
the official Barbie Cafe in New York.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
It was really really fun. It was ran, it was
rand was run. It was a grammar by the company
Bucket Listers, and it's in five eye. It's really really fun.
You guy should go if you can.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
But Sydney and I were invited to the opening and
it was the funniest thing ever. The people people came up.
I thought I was being extra by wearing a pink top.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
People showed up in costume costantay, they had costume changes.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
Yeah. I was like, oh, and those big.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Old cameras and then the stadium sports lights.
Speaker 4 (31:34):
I was like, okay, let's calm down a little bit.
So yeah, that was fun.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
And also speaking about movies.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
I'm nerving this excited for like a bunch of movies
to come out, like it's giving Summer twenty sixteen. This
summer is the summer movies like Little Mermaids coming out.
My dad texted me, was like, hey, said, want to
go see The Little room Maid with me? I was like, Oh,
I'm twenty three, so okay. I couldn't tell if he
was joking.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I was like, okay, you are not twenty three yet.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
Oh I've actually been telling everyone on twenty three, which
is gonna be a problem to my birthday's coming up soon.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
And they're like, oh, you're twenty four. I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Like this guy I went on a date with today,
he was like I was like, oh, how old are
you talking about? Sister is so young and she's twenty
and I was like I was like, oh my god,
how old are you? And he was like, I'm turning
thirty in August. How about you.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
I was like, well, I'm twenty three, which is gonna
be kind of scary because my birthday is in July.
He's gonna see this.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
My birthday it also coming up soon, like you can't
hide it, and you guys.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
Say no, no, I've already figured it out. I'm not
just talk about this while we were at the date.
I planned all of this. I'm going to get a
cake and actually know someone's gonna get a cake for me.
And when I get mine, you know who's.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Gonna get that cake for you. Don't even play around
like it's not gonna be me who gets the cake.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
They're gonna have to figure out how to not put
my age on the cake to like happy Jordan year
or cancer.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
Baby that might come off yeah, or like the other
like juveni baby cakes.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
It's like cute guess what would my sign have to
be the one that's weird telling and then or it'd
be like birthday girl, but like you can't put my name,
can't put my age on it?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
What about just happy birthday Sydney.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Yes, okay, no, don't no birthday and no number candles
and anyone who posts for me? No, no, no Jordan
yere no twenty three, no, no, don't need to talk
about my age, he says, my birthday, and then he'll
never know unless we get married, and I legally have
to tell him.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
I do love him, though, Yes, any went on a
date today and it went really well attactic.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
I don't even know if technically it was a day
for me. I don't know if it was for him,
but yeah, I could marry him.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I fear you're in love.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
You fear I'm Most people like I will know from
the first day if I'm gonna be with you or not.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
That's so not me. I take convincing, like, if you're
dating me, you actually have to because I love being single.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
If you guys, grab you, guys.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
I love being single like an absurd amount. So if
you want to date me, if I ever break up
with my mam is for all future men. If you
want to date me, you have to actually convince me
to love you. It takes a lot, but my man's perfect,
so that's how he convinced me. Anyway, This is actually
funny because I wanted to talk about this and you
were talking about the age thing. One of the first
(34:12):
times my man and I went out, this is in
like August or September of last year. We went to
this club in the East Village and we're standing in
this long ass line and it's a twenty three and
up club and I'm twenty two and a lot of
clubs that's like a loose age rule like at common Ground.
Technically it's a twenty five and up club, But if
(34:34):
it's like a slow night or something. They are, you know,
they're like fine with letting people who are like twenty.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
One, like in that range in.
Speaker 4 (34:43):
I was just like, don't get that.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Yeah, why, it's very weird. I guess to kind of
weed out the fake id's. But then it's like, okay,
what if you're actually twenty one? Okayay, So we're in
this line and the bouncer comes like through the line
and is like, okay, if you're you know, under twenty three,
you can't come in.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
And my man's twenty five. So he looked at me
and he was like, okay, we're fine. He thought I
was his age, so he goes, okay, we're fine.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Perfect, and everybody started to leave the line because I
guess it was a lot of younger people.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
And I looked at him. I go, no, we're not.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
He's like, wait, aren't you the same age as Chance,
who's our roommate who was like dating his friend at
the time, so hen knew her, and I go, yeah,
we're both. I said, she's twenty three. He said, oh, okay,
so you're twenty three. I said, not quite twenty two.
He thought my roommate was twenty five. And then twenty
three was hard for him, Like I said, no, she's
twenty three, and he went ooh, okay, well then you're
(35:32):
still fine because it's a twenty three and up club.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
I said, no, no, I mean you're younger than her.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
He goes because his younger brother is a year older
than me, So I think it's that's like me.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
The face looked like like it looked like he had
seen a ghost. But then we went and he had
a good time.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Anyway, Things like I only date guys older than my sister,
who's three years older than me.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
Like, actually, the one the guy I was just talking about,
I should talk about a lot of guys.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
The guy you going on a date with today.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
No, the guy that I had a situationship with is
the only guy I've ever dated who's younger than me.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Whoa, he is younger than you.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
Granted he's younger than me by a month.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Wait that's not true, yeah, Vegas guy? Or is he
your age?
Speaker 4 (36:19):
He's a month older?
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Oh wow, big spender?
Speaker 4 (36:23):
Like am I cougar man child?
Speaker 3 (36:27):
But yeah, he's a month younger than me. And that
was like too much. And he always has talk about
like I love to date older women. You need to
work on acting your own age first. But I did
date one guy who was a month older than me.
I just did not like dating guys my age because
I feel like guys mature so much more slowly, and
like I think it's perfect to date a guy older
(36:48):
like I usually date.
Speaker 4 (36:49):
I'm twenty two. Actually, I'm sorry, I'm twenty three. I
will be relatively soon to meet you're two whatever, whatever.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
I'm some age between the age of twenty two and
twenty two, and I tend to date guys that are
like twenty five to twenty nine because I think that
because I'm in law school, like I wouldn't like ideally, well,
ideally I would get married in three years, so like
after I graduate law school and after I worked for
(37:22):
a year, so I like enough money to like give
myself like a nice wedding, and then two more years
of like really focusing on my career and my marriage
before having kids. So it's like a five or six
year timeline, which I feel like may aren't ready to
start THEMS. It took the like thirty five, thirty six,
thirty four, so that puts us in the perfect range
to be on the same page. Yes, So I don't
like dating guys my age because when they're annoying and
(37:43):
they're immature, and then two, man.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
You pregnant is going to be something else.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
If I get pregnant, nose, I'm actually suing someone.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
I mean you with the cravings and the mood swings.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
Oh no, the mood swings actually ever get out my
legs exact like time to give birth, I'm gonna say, nope,
I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
I was like, it hurts chance and her foodswings are
gonna be funny too.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
Like I just know I have really low pain tolerance.
That's a little bitsculity.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Me with my food swings is gonna be funny because
I'm usually this very happy, bubbly person. So if I
ever get pregnant, I'm gonna have I feel these insane
mood swings.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
And the thing is like it's.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
Already working out now, already sucks. How a frick mina
bounce back from pregnancy. Oh and he's one of those
ones where it's like heet little like, oh my god,
she's pregnant or and she bloated.
Speaker 4 (38:34):
But I know, I just know myself. I know myself
so well, and I'm gonna be lularge like, that's me.
I know I gonna be huge. I already know I'm
wanting to be.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Pushing a watermelon through a keyhole is a lot of work,
and I feel like, give yourself grace, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 4 (38:47):
I feel like that work. You should learn. You would
lose a lot of calories when you do that. You
would think typically you would think that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
So what I didn't know is how much longer after
you give birth you still have your pregnancy tom Oh,
I'm sorry, Yeah, I really didn't know that. It was
like a long it's a long time. I never realized that,
you know, all you mommy's out there.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I am just so much respect. I'm just so scared.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Some people have like pregnancy glow, but I don't think
I'll be one of those people.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
If you have glow, it's going to be sweat from
That's what I feel for myself.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
I really hope an commercis, but you know what, it's
a beautiful thing to experience. I just hope that I
have a good partner to get through a way.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
I have a very cynical view on pregnancy. As much
respect as I have for mother's out there, especially because
I'm so close with.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
My own mom.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
I for myself, I have a very cynical view of pregnancy.
I feel like everything's going to go wrong and just
all this stuff. But you know, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (39:46):
That's something. It's so weird that you don't like Okay,
not no, if it's to you, I think it's so weird.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
People don't like children, like there you were once a child,
Like annoying, as like they're just small humans. They're annoying
and they're the same and they're the same ones that
are like if I like, I don't like dogs, oh
my gosh, like you literally have no heart in no soul,
you don't like your own kind, and you're away I
mean liking this dog, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
I know, yeah, I know that's how it is.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
Sometimes I also think because dogs can't speak, so they
can bark, But if you're from adult well I guess so,
Actually this kind of makes sense because I was just
about to say, if you're from a dog family, the
barking will bother you. But also, you know what's interesting,
I feel like if you have siblings, the crying and
the screaming doesn't bother you because you're so used to it,
if that makes sense. So older or younger siblings, and
(40:38):
you have younger siblings, chances a younger sibling, and.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
I don't have any siblings, So I think for me,
I just I'm like, well, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
I used to believe in a lot of spiritual stuff.
So I used to be religious when I was younger,
and then i used to be very spiritual in college, and.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Now I'm very agnostic, and I don't like.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
While I do believe personally there's a higher power out
there to some extent, I don't believe that they control
my fate. I do kind of believe in karma, but
for me, karma's not spiritual. I know it is for
a lot of people, but for me, it's literally just
as simple as what goes around comes around.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
I don't think it's like some cosmic like ah.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
But I do think that if you're a bad person,
it just so happens that bad things will happen to
you as well. You know what I mean, Because you're
like that negative energy, I guess is a better way
to describe it. We'll just come back and buy you
in the ass.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
What do you think about that?
Speaker 4 (41:36):
Like, I believe in karma.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
I just wish that there was some sort of like
submission center for her, right or like I respect the
work that you do, not trying to like trample on that.
I just do believe that like this one deserves like
a little bit more, you know, like here, allow you
some suggestions, like I would love to do that because
some people I'm kind of like, there's no way you
(41:58):
just like like both. Actually, the last two people I've
dated sex situationship and relationship, there's no way that you
dogged me for that long and it's got into a
perfect relationship.
Speaker 4 (42:10):
I just don't think that's possible or fair. So you know,
like look goes around, comes around. That's all I gotta say.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Do you know the song I Hope by Gabby Barrett?
The song was like I hope, Okay, I hope you
did it? No, okay, Well that's a country song for me.
That's why you don't know it. She's just sag in
the song that she hopes for her ex to fall
in love, find.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
The perfect woman, spend all of his money on this
ring for her, and then she hopes that she cheats
on him.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Like he did on her.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
Basically, and I would just like to emphasize that like
you do in an I message text and then retweet
that and then also repost that on LinkedIn.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Like I just really like, on the surface, I actually
really do hope that everyone is happy and things work
out for everyone and that like the world is perfect
and that's good for you, Smiley, But part of me
that's like I really respect you to you did me wrong,
so maybe maybe someone will do you wrong.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
I do wish people well, just to an extent, you know,
like I wish that there's food on their table and
that they survive. But yeah, yeah, truly, I would never
wish death or torture pain on anyone, really like physical pain.
But I feel like sometimes it seems only fair that
you caused me so much emotional pain for zero reason
(43:26):
that I kind of hope you feel a little bit
of a taste of your own medicine.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
I think that's only human, I think, though I.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
Think it's more so for me, not because I want
them to be hurt, but I just finally want them
to understand the like.
Speaker 4 (43:39):
How their actions feel.
Speaker 3 (43:40):
Yes, I know, because like for so for so much
that there's no remorse or like, like you're being dramatic
it over it.
Speaker 4 (43:46):
But like if you felt the pain that I felt,
maybe you'd understand, you know.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
So yeah, so would it be fair to say that
you want them not necessarily to feel the pain.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
But the empathy you like, or.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
You know, like a little I think, while it's totally
humanis thing stuff like that it is also really important
to say. And Syny and I talk about this all
the time, especially when I know, for example, I'm feeling
a certain type of way about something and the feelings
are a little prolonged. Sitting always will tell me to,
you know, in difference, she will tell me that indifference
(44:19):
is like better to feel than hate.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (44:23):
Like it's healthier for you, It keeps your sanity, and
it is selfish in the best way. It's like not
even thinking about that person is the best revenge.
Speaker 3 (44:31):
Like that's like where I'm at now and think all
of my past relationships is why I feel ready to
date again, and like I feel ready but also not ready,
like I feel writing in the sense of like I
want to meet someone and like have someone in my
life that I knew in that way, but at the
same time, like I'm not ready because I don't want
to like go back on my progress and give myself
or give someone else emotional power over me. But I
(44:52):
think that in terms of like people have don't be
wrong in the past, or like I've probably had like
two like big relationships that affected me. I feeling different
towards both of them now and like they both have
girlfriends now, and like good for them. I would never
wish how they treated me upon those girls because like
those girls are in sansitions, like they're innocent, I think.
(45:13):
But at the same time, it's like I can recognize it,
like they did me wrong. They don't deserve access to me,
and it leave it at that, you know, Like I'm
just glad that you know it took me like X
amount of time to get away from that situation. I
did get away, and like that's most important thing to me,
And like all I can do is use what they
did to me to like better understand myself, better grow
(45:34):
and like mind stating of myself. So now that I'm
in a good place for like I know what I
want at a relationship, and like I know that what
those people did to me is limited to them. It's
not gonna happen with every single guy that I meet, Like,
I feel like I'm in a better mental place now.
So like I've done the lessons, I've done the soul
searching whatever. I know they have it, but that's not
my business, it's not my concern. So that's where I'm
(45:56):
at right now.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Yeah, I like that a lot.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
I also think that if if you are, if your
brain is focused on revenge or hatred, the best way
to kind of satisfy that urge is to rechannel that
energy on yourself in a positive way. You know, it's
to like when Ariana, for her breakup, whent to Lisa
Vanner Pump for advice, Lisa is like the conglomerate who
owns the restaurants that all these people work at. When
(46:19):
she went to her for advice, Lisa was saying, I
know you're sad right now, but good things will come
for you.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Like just think of the light that.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
Is coming your way because of the hardship you just
had to go through for ten years, like down the drain.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Can't even imagine what that's like.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
But Lisa advised Ariana to really focus on the positive
energy that's coming her way.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Everyone is on her side, you know about this, which.
Speaker 1 (46:41):
They should be in my opinion, But I think Lisa
was like focused on like the positive energy you're getting
and just think about the light that's coming your way,
Like there's something big and good that's coming for you.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
You just have to wait for it.
Speaker 3 (46:51):
And like in situations like that, like even though it's
hard and like, no matter what anyone says too advice wise,
it's going to be freaking annoying because like I've got
cheating on sometimes a ten year different situation. But I
think that like the best thing you can tell yourself
in those situations is that like, at least, thank God,
thank whoever you believe in, that you're not with that
person anymore. Yeah, Like you might be sad that like
(47:13):
it's happening publicly and like you just found out, but
at least you're not living in like an a situation
where like you think that you're in a good relationship
or you're happy and they're doing the stuff behind your back.
At least you know and you're out of it now,
like you can only go up from there.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
Yeah, And one thing that she.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Said that kind of resounded with me from my last
breakup is she said, I want to miss him, and
I do miss him. But I feel like I'm missing
a version of him that never existed, and to me,
that rings so true. I felt very similar feelings in
my last breakup especially, and I think Personi's point think
about that, and I know that might make you feel
(47:47):
a little bit stupid, because I know it did for me,
like I was in love with someone who wasn't even
there basically, But don't think of it like that. You
have to give yourself grace and recognize that that's the
mask that they put on. That is not your fault.
That they portrayed a certain version of themselves to you.
You and you fell in love with that version that
is never That is never your fault, and you are
not stupid.
Speaker 3 (48:04):
You know.
Speaker 4 (48:05):
That just shows like your capacity to love.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
You know, it shows their psycho And I think that,
I mean, I'm not calling my exo psycho because he wasn't,
but I'm saying that, like that form of masking is
really really hard to get over. But just think about that,
like that person who you did. It's while it can
make you feel stupid, sometimes it is kind of a
form of comfort where it's like the person I was
in love with, I can't miss him because he was
never really there.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
That's why I try to like decenter them from the
feeling yes that like, yeah, it sucks to hurt someone
like you don't think was there or like didn't cheat
e the way you thought that they did. At the
same time, that just shows how much love you have
to give. You just gave it, just not to the
right person.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
And there are you know, that version who you thought
you fell in love with of that person that was
never really there, that's out there.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Amazing guys do exist and once you.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Find yeah, maybe I don't know, she's still out, but
once you do find a really good guy or not. Okay,
I'm gonna phrase that because you know, don't try to
find shit. But in your next healthy relationship, you're going
to realize if a relationships is you know your journey,
you're going to realize that good men do exist, and
you're just gonna look back and say, like City said,
(49:10):
thank God that I got out of that when I did,
because what good I have in my life I would
have never had.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
If I didn't good man him being I might move
to France. Oh take me with you, I was speaking
about today. Okay, like after I like work a few
years like, I don't speak French and I don't know
anyoney France, oh Sydney in Paris, but we bag it.
Speaker 4 (49:31):
You might catch me there.
Speaker 2 (49:34):
Uh So, in conclusion, we think that the right person,
wrong time very questionable.
Speaker 1 (49:42):
We think that if they wanted to, they would is
true with the slight Asterist, and we also think that
the right person right time.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
Do we ever talk about the right person right time?
Speaker 1 (49:54):
I think we all just I think that kind of
led us into the conversation of the cosmic universe and
how much of an influence do we think that actually
on our lives. So hope you guys love this episode.
We shall love you, and we're happy to be back.
Expect another episode next week or maybe a couple in between,
because we got to catch up.
Speaker 4 (50:11):
We love you.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
Make sure to follow us on TikTok and Instagram at
Crying in Public Podcasts, and you can listen to us
on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and iHeart
Speaker 2 (50:20):
Goodbye.
Host
Sydni Wynter
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