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June 18, 2023 51 mins

In today's episode the hosts discuss making decisions just "for the plot;"a trend that has become popularized on social media--with good intentions but toxic consequences. Fully endorsing centering yourself as the "main character" in your own lif , and making decisions with yourself in mind, the girls talk through healthy ways to approach decision-making (especially when it's tough!).

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey, so City Night just talked about the topic for
like fifteen minutes before we started recording, and we forgot
me were recording.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Well, we knew we weren't recording. I just think we
felt very passionate.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
I'm just gonna this has nothing to do with the topic,
but I have been wanting to talk about it all day.
I've been waiting for the podcast. Like I specifically did
not send the video in our rooming group chat because
I had to talk about this atrocity on Tiktoka on
TikTok on the podcast. So I haven't really bad insomnia,

and so I fall asleep at like two am. I
like up at four and I just sit there until
like nine am. It happens every night, but it stops
happening after exams. I was like, oh my god, I'm cured.
And then no, Tonight's Togo, it happened again.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
How are you alive and functioning right now?

Speaker 3 (01:08):
I'm like, fine, now that is Celsius okay, But so
my I always do like a really big deep dive
when I'm up because I have nothing else to do.
I don't want to watch like Netflix. So I discovered
the most disgusting thing ever, and it's like thinking about
it is making my skin crawl. Have you heard of
the Mormon cricket invasion that's happening in Nevada right now?

Speaker 2 (01:30):

Speaker 3 (01:31):
Okay, so it literally looks like one of the plagues
in the Bible. So in this like small town Nevada,
I forgot what the name of the town is. It's
right like currently in this moment being infested with this
thing called Mormon crickets. And what are.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
Why are Mormon crickets different than regular cricket?

Speaker 3 (01:48):
Do you want to see what they look like? The
crocodiles of crickets, So you would think that I think
of like Jimmy cricket, like a small, little little green.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Thing, Jimmy cricket, Jimmy cricket.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
M me, yeah, I know what it's from. I know
it's Disney cute. These things they're huge. They're like they
taken get up to like five inches big.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
Were they like breeding them?

Speaker 3 (02:10):
No, they're like in they're infestations of like industrial towns.
And when I say an infestation, like you cannot leave
your house infestation. And the worst part is is that
so they're really really big and they make sounds that
sound like popcorn, so like when you have to drive
through them, so it pops like popcorn when the sound one.

Two they smell like dead fish apparently, and three they
eat each other. So that's why the infistation keeps growing.
Is once like after you kill them, they just eat
another one. Aren't they huge?

Speaker 2 (02:41):
I'm looking it up on Google right now. If you
are listening, please look up.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
So they're not too gross. They're just really big. Please
look it up right now with us. Ew my god,
you actually it is gross. I take it back.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
It's so nice.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
Waiting until you see how bad the infestation is. Like
look at this woman's.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
House, I mean, how do you live like that?

Speaker 3 (03:01):
And the thing is like you can try and kill them,
like they'll just eat the other ones. So I'm kind
of like, look how bad that is.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
I I'm gonna tell you what if I can stare
at a cricket in the eyeballs they're too big.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Bugs. Eyeballs should not be this big, Like.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
Why are you covering an entire building floor? I'm sorry,
but I would call out of work. I'm not leaving
my house those things are gone. But no, it's crazy.
And the worst part is it's like In these videos,
people will like video them driving down the road and
you'll just hear like the popping noise and it's so nasty, Like,
look how big we are compared to this woman. It's
like a lobster cricket, Like you see how big that is?

Number one? Why is she touching it?

Speaker 2 (03:39):
I stand by my statement.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
If I can stare a bug in the eyeball, it
is too big of a bug.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
It needs to be eliminated.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
That was like a bug's life, Like why can't I
see your eyeballs? No, I'm staring into its soul. No,
it's actually been disturbing me. And I had to I'm
not kidding. I watched like one hundred videos of them,
and I was like, did we do something we need
to repent? Cause there's no ways. Why called Mormon crickets?
That's kind of means to Mormons.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
I was gonna say no, because I thought you were
gonna tell me that it was some kind of Mormon
conspiracy or like it had to do with the Church
of Latter day.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Saints or whatever.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
No, No, they're just called that.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
They're just called Mormon crickets. I wonder why, though, Like,
are Mormon's larger people like I don't understand like taller.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
I mean, that makes sense. Remember I had a Mormon bay.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
Why are Mormons called Mormon?

Speaker 3 (04:27):

Speaker 1 (04:27):
Why are Mormon crickets called Mormon?

Speaker 2 (04:32):
I'm gonna tell you right now.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
Maybe because it's the Mormon region like Nevada, Utah.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yes, you're right, So the Mormon cricket is actually not
a true cricket, so they're not really crickets.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
So the whole name is misleading. Yes, but they're demons.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
Why there's bonds of Satan rather a shield backed Katie
Kattie did spelled ka t y d i d. The
common name derives from this pest's invasion of the crops
of Mormon settlers in the Salt Lake area in the
mid eighteen hundreds. These things are in prehistoric I told
you them things are weeping. I know is not prehistoric,

but it was funny in my head.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
That's nuts.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
Oh and this is the male of this species chirps
much like a cricket, hence the incorrect common name.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yea, I know. If I saw that, I'm not leaving
my house until every single one of them is gone. Absolutely,
you're called Caddie DIDs. I know what Canidians are because
I am from Florida.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
That's oh you they're so big, you guys, you have
to look up a picture.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
I implore you to look up a picture.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
Like the source of some of my trauma is in
like first grade. Then made this goes to the butterfly garden.
Everyone's so excited, and I was like, what is wrong
with my children? We get into this the little enclosure
of plants, and they've made us stick our arms out,
and I was like, what are you about to do
to me? And they would like put like a little
like sugar water on your hand and then like the

butterflies with land on your hands. Oh, I lost it,
lost it.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
Well, this makes sense. With your fear of bee is
another bugs and stuff.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
I mean, I think it all stems from when a
bead broke your foot. I have a lot of trauma,
you do, and I have a couple of traumas too,
I know. Actually my main trauma with bugs stems from
when my grandpa had this cabin in Bumblefuck, Maine and
he would always take us up there.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
Now unfortunately he sold it.

Speaker 3 (06:21):
Oh I'm so sorry. Sorry. That's been like a really
deep dark path.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
No no, no, the cabin, I see where you got
that though.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
He would take us up there like once every I
don't know, summary or whatever, and we'd go and the
what are they called loaded?

Speaker 2 (06:38):

Speaker 1 (06:38):
Oh my god, locusts would just become veryware like that.
And also it's funny because I liked them a little bit.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
I also a plague.

Speaker 3 (06:47):
Yeah, what did we do?

Speaker 1 (06:48):
They would land on my hand and I remember the
first time that happened. This is what scared me is
because I was so young. I didn't know the difference
between loaded locusts.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
Whatever and leeches.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
So when because logus stick on your hand for a
little bit, like they kind of sticky.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Paws, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
When I kind of picked them off, it wouldn't come off,
and I thought I had.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
A leech and I cried for I think thirteen hours straight.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
It's like ticks.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
Oh, I had to take in my stomach once.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
Girl, what have you been doing? I was in a cabin. Yeah,
I was like, you even't had tick before? No, actually,
because I keep a button inside That's why.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
And then the latest trauma that both city and I
are shared trauma with bugs, has been the last time
we went to France, we were actually getting swarmed by bees,
but I'm pretty sure that's because I decided to wear
a big old yellow flower t shirt out in.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
She really was wearing a rose as a shirt. She's like,
why are they coming towards me? Because you are a
tr enormous flower in the middle of the city with
no plants or trees. That's why. No, we were actually
kind of my bee's entire trip. But and this made
me canceled low key, Oh, this whole like save the
bees movement.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
Oh that one bee girl on TikTok, like just touching
with your hand.

Speaker 3 (07:53):
No, she could give you kisses like I have, like
the queen in my clock clip. No, I try to
seal the videos. I have to scroll. I'm like, this
makes me actually so mad. But there is there was
like an infestation in Times this week. If the smoke
and the flooding wasn't enough.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
Oh did you guys see that the b infestation in Times?

Speaker 3 (08:13):
Squir I was pretty yeah, And she's like, they're just
loving you. They're honey, I'm not walking through that.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
And then she ends it with and that was just
another day of saving the bees.

Speaker 3 (08:25):
No, I don't understand. I feel like science has evolved
enough or actual be able to spray whatever there we do.
They actually new, so we don't need them anymore.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
Also, she's so funny because she's very loving and gentle
towards these bees and she goes, these are gentle bees
and then she just.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
Smokes them, like right, yes, I was like, in my backyard,
give them lung cancer? What'd you make me? Back? There
a weapon in her in her backyard? Dang, Like, how
did she have? That? Was so funny? Sorry, I feel thinks.

Speaker 2 (08:58):
So he's been squirming for the best. Let's talk about something.

Speaker 3 (09:01):
That's literally actually anything else.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Okay, So I started and finished a new TV because
we always have to talk about TV and film on here,
and it's called Tell Me Lies.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
And it just came out last year.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
I think that we are you sure you haven't already
watched it positive because mean chance watched it together.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
I did not watch it with you guys.

Speaker 3 (09:18):

Speaker 1 (09:18):
It was really good, really, yes, I hated it, really
I really liked it.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
I think the two main characters were so incredibly boring.
I was like Steven, Steve, Steven. I was like, I
want to touch her hand. I wanted to sit her
down at a nice wooden table around one, and I.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
Wanted it very inclusive of you.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
Thank you. I want to put my hands on hearth instead. Baby,
I don't know what you're going through. Actually I do,
because I've seen your show. This man not only is
he not cute, not only is he the worst, he's
also not cute.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
Also when no one's dig is that big, Like I'm
so sorry for being rated all right now, but the
way this girl, I mean they have sex four times
an episode, and the way this girl's throw your head
back moaning, I'm like, you know what, it's no, my.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
Whole thing is like girl. His name is also Steve,
Like why why what is he doing for you? No?
Stephen and Lucy are like the worst? Are you? And
Charlie Brown? I didn't like it. I heard the books
are good though, but I think the girl was incredibly boring.
The man was so incredibly boring, but he was accurate,
Like if you really think about it, In most TV
shows that we've seen that are like around our age range,

the men are like incredibly beautiful, and so I get it.
This is more reality because the guys that I see
my friends in contemporaries on their knees over, crying over, sobbing,
throwing up over are the most, not even average of
men the most. They are not cute, They're awful to them,
bad personalities, no jobs, the thing to offer you. Why

are you stuck on them? I don't know how jo
is crazy.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
The only complaint that I have about the show, because
I really did love it, at the end, I kind
of fell off because as the show progresses, you realize
that genuine only every single character except for that one
girl who's really tiny, the one girl who gets engaged
to that one guy, every character except for her as
a bad person. So the protagonists, or at least Lucy,
who's supposed to be our main protagonist, we end up

hating like everybody. So I it was hard to kind
of feel connected and support a certain character at the
end of the show, like I would say, three episodes in,
like episode seven, three episodes from the finale, it was
hard to kind of latch on. And one compliment that
I will give the show, and this is a really
huge reason why I was interested in it in the

first place, is because it is set in college, which
is way more realistic for I don't know if it's
realistic for like freshmen, but a situation like this to
take place in college is way more realistic than say,
in high school. And the producers it would have been
so easy for the producers to have made the show
from the perspective of high school students, because that seems
to be a trend recently with like Sam Lemons and

everything and like euphoria.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
And I'm just really.

Speaker 1 (11:58):
Really happy that somebody had the wherewithal to be like,
this is stuff college students would do, not necessarily high
school students.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
And I kind of liked how they avoided that perversion.

Speaker 3 (12:08):
It's a book series, it's the book well, and then.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
All compliments to the author because that had ed every
single like quality to be a high.

Speaker 2 (12:16):
School like drama and I'm just really happy that it
was that, So kudos to the author.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
And it's kind of crazy because like nothing happens the
entire series.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
He always say that about people.

Speaker 3 (12:26):
Like Gossip Girl. We had a little bit of boom,
you know, like Vampire Diaries, we had a little vampires.
It's just like, Wow, I like him, and we're going
to destroy everyone else's lies because I have a big
crush on this man. That offers me nothing. That is
the entire show in one sentence. But funny thing is,
I was at my friend's birthday earlier this year and

I was recently single, so I was like, I'm the
prow and not really, not really at all, actually, and
I was looking with my eyes and this guy shows
up at the party and I was like, he's cute,
and so we're talking and he's like, I'm from Jacksonville
and I was like, number one, So am I number two?
Red Flag or green Flag? Because they both made it out,

but again, that's your origin, just scary. And I was like,
this man is so beautiful and so shy and awkward,
but he looks so familiar, so freaking familiar. He shouldn't
tell me lies which one. I have no idea what
his name is. I mean, like which character he's friends was,
He's one of Steven's friends, Like the only black person
in that show.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
Oh my god, the one who gets married to Oh god.
I want to say her name is Missy, but I
can't remember.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
That's awesome, Susie Apple. I think he was probably the.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
Most attractive guy in the show. Did you think Bringley
was attractive?

Speaker 3 (13:37):
I couldn't decide. There's not a single person in that show.
I thought it was that attractive, Okay, just what made
it also so boring and like giving you like a
cute person to think about.

Speaker 1 (13:45):
Yeah, exactly. Also that's how I felt about sex Life
because the guy who she was remembering and having those
sexy flashbacks for, he wasn't even that attractive in my opinion.
I liked his sexy Australian voice, but the sex was
not on him.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
You know what sex Life is temmy lies for adults,
bigger adults.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
Is because she's having like basically the whole TV series
the flashback for Lucy No.

Speaker 3 (14:09):
Because I said the same thing about that show when
we talked about it the first time. It's about nothing,
Like I was sitting there like, oh maybe it's like
a spy or like maybe and those kind of like whatever.
You know, both those shows are about nothing. If I
want to see some millis white woman choose between man
number A and Man number B, who's man number A
with darker hair, I would watch was Outside and Touch

Grass literally just life.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
I thought you were gonna say, I would just rewatch
Hannah Montana because remember the last season, she was like Jake,
I think the guy and then both of the pages.

Speaker 3 (14:40):
Yeah, she chose the wrong one. She did. She was
a boy with the bowl cut number one. The one
was Beanie Baby. That was that was when he was
an I Carly. I hated that actually, when they would
use the same four boys for like every single TV
show at the same time. So like Beanie Babies was
on Guy Carly, but he was Jake or the other
one on Handham on Tannah and I was like, this

is not candid. It's not making sense in my head.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
And then when they did in Disney Channel, we did
that guy and we got what's his name?

Speaker 2 (15:08):
What's his name? What's name? Starstruck?

Speaker 3 (15:10):
Yeah, I'm not that guy.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
He was also in which I know you hate this
TV show.

Speaker 3 (15:16):
We started, We started that show and so random was
the most unfunny, boring show of every name in my life. No,
when that came on, I was like talking for me
to go outside. I will actually go play in nature
if I have to. That was the worst show I've
actually ever seen. I couldn't stand that show. That was like, Okay,
that show was the first downfall of Disney. That started it,
that catapulted it.

Speaker 1 (15:35):
It kicked it off the cliff I disagree for nostalgic reasons,
but I agree objectively.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
Does that make sense?

Speaker 3 (15:42):

Speaker 2 (15:42):
So I agree, but I love that show so much.

Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah. No, anytimes Stally likes a show, I know I'm
gonna hate it.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Hey, we both like Sex in the City, we do,
and Gossip but we have such differentnds on them.

Speaker 3 (15:54):
You also hated TVD when you first started it.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
Oh, you're right, Yes, I thought it was so stupid.
But then Ian, my man sate.

Speaker 3 (16:00):
And like we both have we both love Sex in
the City, but like I can't stand Carrie and you
love Carrie.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
Carrie. You know what about Gossip Girl? Do you have
a favorite character in that? Because obviously Blur's my favorite
character because I'm literally her.

Speaker 3 (16:13):

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Sometimes all of them.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Kiddy the therapy and to get their like, take away
their phone and their money. Simple, spake them simple, Deoda.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
High schools.

Speaker 3 (16:28):
Got Deda's my favorite?

Speaker 1 (16:29):
Oh Deoda. On another note, did you watch the Tony's
or do you? Did you have any opinions on.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
When I saw that Miss Girl was hosting, I was like,
you know, I'm good. You know what I've I've really
released the hack of these award shows. I could like
when I was little, I used to get a slice
of Public's cake chocolate always. Now it's vanilla, but whatever,
And I would sit there with my family and watch
these award shows and through all the breaks and blah
blah blah. That is such a waste of time. Now

I just do whatever I was going to do anyway,
like hang out with my friends, watch TV, read a book, whatever,
and then just watch all the good moments on Twitter
after and read the list of winters and Daily Mail.
I just watched that two hour award show in five minutes. Boom.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
That's what I do.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
Except on TikTok It's easy, easy, peasy, lemon squeezy. I
need to read download Twitter on my phone.

Speaker 3 (17:16):
TikTok is were like, I watched the entire band of
Pump Rules re union on TikTok and I've never seen
the show. I will never watch it, but the reunion
was funny.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
I think you would be super into it.

Speaker 3 (17:29):
But it's like, there's not a single person of color
on that entire show. Yes, yes, I sat there and
watched reunion. I said, wow, this is a glass of milk.
There's not a single person of color and this entire
show and there's like sixty people on it. That's my
new thing is I used to watch shows like that
a lot as kids, and I was that's part of why,
like my selfie was so messed up? Is it? Not

a single person on that show is a person of color?
And if they were, they'd be like, hand them on hand.
That were one random black girvel that came in like
every ten episodes and with yeah, my name's Ashley, and
then like, why is it Ashley? I don't know. She's like,
I'm mean girl, and I'm like, okay, that's why I
loves like that's her even Cheetah Girls.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, Cheetah Girls, Cheater Girls, Ivy on good Luck Charlie, Like, yeah,
it's that that I couldn't stand either.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
I didn't get it. It's a baby, but.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
She's so cute, little and she has big old cheeks.

Speaker 3 (18:22):
And that girl made awful decisions. I've got her names
Bridget Medler. Yeah, she's super smart in real life. She's like,
is it like Stanford Law School or something at Harvardlaw School?

Speaker 2 (18:30):
She looks like a smart person.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
I feel like her character Olivia in Lemonade Mouth, she's
that in real life.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
In my opinion that.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
After my time. But her name is like her name
like sounds kind of.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
Smart Bridget Butdler, Yeah, yeah it does. That's a smart
person name.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
I think Sydney Winter is like I wouldn't like if
I didn't know you, I wouldn't hear the name and
think she's like a brainy.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
I hear it and I would think power like you
see stars. No, like a very strong name.

Speaker 3 (18:57):
I was would most likely to be famous in both
elementary schoo in high school. Start quality. I think another life,
I'm Oprah, which I'm like ambiguously very rich and very famous.
But no, that's seeing a person of telling what I do. Like,
what does Oprah really do? She doesn't have a talk
I don't know if she's talks to anymore. She has
a magazine that no one reads besides grandmother's getting their
hair done. But she got money and power influence, Like

I'll be like in the store, I like, this is
Oprah's favorite jeans. I'm like, oh, well, shit, why I.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
Want to know why she's a critic. She's just power.

Speaker 3 (19:31):
She does critique and you know I have opinion on everything, Yes,
so I would love to do that.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
You know, father's days this weekend. Are you gonna do
anything for it?

Speaker 3 (19:42):
My dad lives in California. Well, I mean, like, oh,
I'm babysitting someone else is kid, so I'm actually very
excited for her. I love babies. But it's my little
brother's birthday. He's turning five. I want to cry. And
it's the day before Father's Day. So I'm gonna send
them like a joint do this to other thing?

Speaker 2 (20:00):
Perfect? Yeah, like father son bonding time. Here's your gift.

Speaker 3 (20:05):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
It's quick, it's simple, it gets the job done. It
truly does.

Speaker 3 (20:09):
And it's so funny because I went to it's actually
not really that one at all. I went to go
surprise him, but I don't realize it's told him. So
Like when I went to go to l A a couple
of weeks ago, I met up with my stepmom and
my dad and my little brother at a birthday party,
and like, I was like surprised. He was like, okay, Coal,
are your dad Cole?

Speaker 2 (20:29):
Oh he didn't hear.

Speaker 3 (20:31):
Yeah, he was like I knew you were coming. Walked away.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
I was like, okay, sorry, that is hilarious.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
It's like an adult now, not an adult. He's like
not a baby, that's kind of a child? What the
word is? Yes, and it's really weird. And he was like,
not as like portable, you know, he's like carry him places.

Speaker 2 (20:46):
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
And I think they're a little bit more easy, easier
when they're a little bit smaller.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yes, grammar. I think they're a little easier when they're
a little smaller.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
They don't speak exactly talking back, yes, And they don't
have opinions on this.

Speaker 3 (21:02):
The video I always think of is that one guy
and like his friends holding their baby. He's like, wh
should kids staring at me like that? And I'm like
what it's like, does he want to fight met? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (21:11):
It's literally you babies love to stare at you.

Speaker 3 (21:14):
I think, because this is actually kind of crazy now
that I think about it, like most babies I come
into contact with, which is simply when we're putting that
and know why said it like that they've never seen
a black person before.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
They're like, whoa, So you're their introduction into the world.
That's crazy.

Speaker 3 (21:30):
It's a really big step to take, and it's a
lot of power and responsibility. A spider man or a
bra Ham Lincoln said, you know that, saying It's like,
with great power comes through your responsibility. It's either Abe
Lincoln or it's Spider Man. Hold on, I don't remember.

Speaker 2 (21:48):
Those are two polar opposite leadership figures. It's either Spider
Man or Abe Lincoln. Let me know which one.

Speaker 3 (21:57):
It's Spider Man. Ah, but it very well could have
been a blink in any or.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
Like George Washington to give it to him. Who is
the cherry tree thing? Is that George?

Speaker 3 (22:09):
Or John AppleTree?

Speaker 2 (22:10):

Speaker 3 (22:10):
Wait, Johnny Apple? Yeah. I feel like half things were
learning in the history just aren't really why. I'm working
about a man that likes apples, yes.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
Or like a man flying a kite.

Speaker 3 (22:24):
It's like slavery. No, the first apple tree planted in
America you will freaking learn about.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
It's also so funny the enslavement of literal humans. Oh,
absolutely not. I must not tell a lie. All lying
is that goes against our morals?

Speaker 3 (22:40):
Or like keeping a person was a convention somewhere or
all these teacheries of America sat down and there is
in front of them a list of events to discuss.
They voted. No, I'm looking about slavery, civil rights, Japanese tournament,
like literally anything they're like Helen Keller. Yes, Like, isn't

that weird that we all learned about Helen Keller?

Speaker 2 (23:02):

Speaker 3 (23:03):
Wasn't she like extremely racist, problematic?

Speaker 2 (23:06):

Speaker 3 (23:06):
I mean the.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
Mirror was racist, homophobic, everything you could possibly She was
even like ablest towards other people with disabilities.

Speaker 3 (23:13):
And the crazy thing apparently wrote a book, but apparently
she didn't actually write the book, like she just heard
it and then like thought that she wrote it. I
mean I get that a little bit, but like.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
Did you blagiarize this book?

Speaker 3 (23:22):
It's kind of crazy that everyone was like I remember
sitting down when they rolled the TV in and watching
that cartoon and being scarred and I were driving a
horse wagon again. I don't know, I don't know like
that acted me that I kind of like messed me up.
And they were like, no, no slavery. We're spending a
week on Helen Keller. Yes, but I did see the

play A Miracle Worker and it was like incredible, but
you know, it's like probably not how it actually happened.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
But I was just like, interesting, history in elementary schools
is actually so funny because the entirety and today and
I talked about this all the time, very specifically, the
entirety of chapter six was literally Helen Keller or like
Anne Frank very two important okay, historical figures whatever. But
then we get to the end of the chapter and
there's one like all the pages are white in chapter six,

those are the important pages. And then you get to
the one dark blue page at the end of the
chapter that's right before chapter seven that just talks about
Frederick Douglass and slavery all on the same.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
Page, and like the underground railroad. That's it, We're done.

Speaker 3 (24:22):
It was not good. Yeah, okay, yes, that's And the
funny thing is is that at my high school we
had to choose like one topic to do like a
year long research project on for our history class. Everyone
was like, I'm ding the Olympics. I'm dang whatever. I
was like, you know what I mean is it's time
to make everyone uncomfortable, like I always do. I want
you the black Panthers, because like the way that I

learned it growing up was like they had like free
education programs, free food programs, like in lowcome communities, et cetera.
They're like, that's such a divisive topic. Absolutely not.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
So I did birth control that is so funny all
liberals me little kid.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
Yeah, I remember presenting him. They were like, okay, sit down.
I was like, all right.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
I did a PowerPoint presentation my senior year in my
theology class because I went to a Cathol high school,
so we had whatever, and the least controversial topic that
I could find because people love to debate in that
class was about the Lion King because my teacher thought
that the Lion King was about beastiality. And I was like,
literally what?

Speaker 2 (25:22):
So I did a.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
PowerPoint presentation on why Disney's awesome And that was my
high school.

Speaker 3 (25:28):
That makes a lot of sense in the grand scheme
of things.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
I'm going to Disney World again for my twenty third
birthday in August.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
I'm really excited.

Speaker 3 (25:36):
Maybe that's what I want to know, what's changed.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
So much?

Speaker 1 (25:40):
So I actually subscribed. The joke's on you, because I'm
actually just subscribed to the Disney Food Blog, okay, and
I get daily friggin' newsletters about everything that's changed about
Disney World. Oh, my Guardians of the Galaxy ride is there?

Speaker 3 (25:53):
Seriously? Be like, I want my my my bachelorette party
at Disney World. I'm gonna say I'm touch your hand.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
Say no, I would never do that to my bridesmaids,
because then it's like I have to consider like five
other people.

Speaker 3 (26:08):
Now, I see like people in the South will have like,
and I'm not kidding, ten hundred bridesmaids, and I want
to be like, where did you meet all these people?
Tell me your middle name, how many dogs they have
and their parents' name? Was No, you have fifteen bridesmaids.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
I feel that anyway, should we get to the topic,
we a little topic. The topic we were doing today,
excuse me, is when does oh my god, one second
was that.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
That's a fair part of editing.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
Islah, because you made me laugh so hard, that's what
happened to my voice starts laughing. Okay, the topic today
is when does doing things for the plot become toxic?

Speaker 3 (26:48):
So well, I actually can't explain to you how much
I can't stand this saying. I think it's one thing
I always see on TikTok girls. They're like, the best
advice I can give you is to do it for
the plot, or like I just did this for the plot.
The plot in question is your life, and I don't
think that getting apparalls on a Tuesday at four pm?

Is doing anything for the plot? Is you drinking in
all the day? Like I can't stand the way that's
framed because they'll be like, oh, like I sup this
random guy and did it for the plot, or you
did it because you wanted to Like why does everything
have to be in the context of like, I'm doing
it because it's a funny story to tell. Or you
did it because you wanted to, like make make an

authoritative choice in your own life, have some agency.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
So for you like take accountability.

Speaker 3 (27:36):
It's not necessarily that. It's just like I think the
saying is so dumb because my thing is like one,
I'll watch just every percussions two. If you're doing things
because you want to tell a funny story, I don't
think that's the healthiest way to approach things. If you
do things because you want to do them, or you
need to do them, or you have to do them,
or you want to have fun and do something, like
you don't have to do it so you can tell

a funny story after, Like, I'm like, that's the reason
why you should. Really, I think it's a very toxic thing,
you know, toxic thing to.

Speaker 1 (28:05):
Say Sydny and I this is kind of what we
talked about before we logged on to the actual episode.
We were discussing how there's a difference between and we're
not talking about this.

Speaker 2 (28:15):
There's a difference.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
Between doing things like for the plot, which is kind
of what Sidney just very nicely described to you, and
then there's kind of just like doing things to keep
your life spontaneous and fun and exciting, so like, I
don't really know, going to a museum on a random
Wenesday afterward, just like stuff like that, where it's kind
of it puts like the high back in life. But

doing things for the plot, we think takes a little
bit more of a macabre, like bizarre turn to these things.
And we often find that that phrase is associated with
toxic behavior not only as an excuse, but kind of
just as a justification as well. I find that people
often don't take accountability for their actions or just even

agency like Sydney was saying, and just kind of use
that to justify doing not only a bizarre thing or
not only a spontaneous thing, but also something that's not
necessarily the healthiest thing, and they just don't kind of
want to look themselves in the mirror.

Speaker 3 (29:11):
And admit that and I don't know this weird trend
from the last couple of years on social media or like,
I just like that fits into the theme, which which
trend right, people giving the worst advice humanly possible, and
it's been like, oh, it's for the plot, or like

like we had a toxic Yeah, we had a whole
episode on how toxic dating advice is on TikTok, And
I feel like this kind of fits into that theme
because there's like a whole set of creators that encourage
women to do like extremely self destructive behavior.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
And obviously we're not gonna name names, but yeah, we're definitely.

Speaker 3 (29:50):
Thinking of winky wink smiley face. Yes, it's who you're
thinking of. And every time I see it, I literally
not interested unfollow. So I'm like, you have you're so
lucky to have so much in fluents, and to you,
they might be enjoying, enjoyful because you get money, you
get freeshoes, you're out of it. Like on the same hand,
you might think it's funny too, but like encouraging girls

that are very impressionable and you're lucky enough to have
a platform that allows you to do so encourage them to
do a lot of self destructive behaviors and not think
twice about their actions or things have to just do
like unhealthy and mentally, physically, emotionally, et cetera. I mean,
I just fun like that to me just is so
such a bad mindset to have. And I'm so much

and so for spontaneity and doing these because you want
to do them, or you know, just changing things up
because you want to. But don't just write it off
as like, oah, this is a plot for me. No
do it because you want to do it. Have agency
or authority and what you're doing exactly.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
And we all do toxic things. None of us are perfect.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
You know.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
We can do something that we might later regret or
regret right after we do it. Or we can even
do something and know in the moment's probably not the
right thing to do, but it might make you feel good.

Speaker 2 (30:56):
I mean, that's human error. Nobody's perfect.

Speaker 1 (30:58):
But I just think excusing it as oh my god,
I did it for the plot, funny story, to tell
my friends whatever. I think that that's not the healthiest
way to go about it instead of just kind of
that's what I'm saying, Like self accountability is huge.

Speaker 2 (31:09):
I think it's one of the.

Speaker 1 (31:10):
Biggest soft skills you can have, is realizing when you
are wrong. And that's a big problem in today's societies.
Nobody wants to admit when they're wrong, when it's just
so obvious that they're wrong. And it goes all the
way from politics to a random account on TikTok or
someone trolling in the comments, like people are wrong all
the time, but nobody wants to admit it. And people
are toxic all the time, and nobody wants to admit it.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
And I just think that that's funny.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
Also to your first point, what do you think about
people making those little jokes on TikTok, like oh for
the plot and saying that it's a joke, like in
the caption or in the video.

Speaker 2 (31:42):
Do you think that that still crosses a line that.

Speaker 1 (31:44):
Could still potentially influence a younger, more malleable audience. What
are your thoughts on that if they explicitly say it's
a joke.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (31:53):
I don't think it's bad to joke at all. Like,
you know, if you're funny, you're funny one and most
of the time it's not funny for a lot of people. Two.
I think that there's difference between like knowing you have
a very impressionable audience of people to look up to
you and not having that just two three for a

society or a group of people who is chronically online,
like think about really think about the time that you're awake,
like not sleeping. How much time you've been on social media,
probably twenty hours a day. Some people have no social literacy,
which is knowledge might not be their own fault. So

you might put joke in the caption or might be
lined with sarcasm. Open the comments, I'll be like, oh
my gosh.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
Like wait, why is this actually a good idea?

Speaker 3 (32:44):
Yeah? Like no, like it's that's a joke, that's the
whole point. But like I can. I'm gonna name names
because I want to. But for example, Alex Earl, you
guys know, I don't understand it the.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Fact, yeah, the fascination.

Speaker 3 (32:58):
I do understand that there is a certain and white
girl Jenna Sequa on TikTok. White girl doesn't translate to
other audiences. But and I'm sure she's great, funny, Like
I love watching videos, make videos whatever. But I feel
like in some cases, like yes, she has a part
of girl lifestyle. But I see so many other videos

on my feed after I see, Like if I like
one for videos, I'll get a bunch of them after that,
like tag her or hashtag her, and it'll be like
when ask girl can drink four days in a row,
so I can too. It's a girl like taking a
tequila shot or something, or like mixing pre work out
with tequila, and its just like it might come off
as funny or like as a personality or things like that,
but I don't think people understand that, like the things

that they say do impress upon other people. And if
you're encouraging girls to go binge drink for fun, I
think rethink about the message you putting out there. You
might not have ass that responsibility, but you have it,
you know.

Speaker 1 (33:51):
So Alex Earl's so funny because she is I know,
I think she graduated right or something. I have no idea,
but she is traveling. I know for a fact that
even when she was still in school, she was traveling
twenty four to seven. This is kind of straying from
the topic a little bit, but I remember watching like
this woman lives a fake life.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
It is so nuts.

Speaker 1 (34:10):
And I'm really happy for her success, of course, like
I'm happy for everyone's success. Who's ever been successful except
for like dictators. But but but it's just funny seeing
her like just go to all these foreign places and
like spend money on these extravagant hotel rooms and like
live this life on TikTok. That is just so not

what real life is about. And like I'm not that's
not a criticism. It's just interesting to observe. It's kind
of like I'm looking at a fish bowl, you know
what I mean, I'm still stuck on like that.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
I know where that came from.

Speaker 1 (34:44):
I just kind of the Spirit movie. The Spirit moved me,
you know what I mean. I feel drunk. I'm completely
I literally my brain feels drunk, but I have.

Speaker 3 (34:55):
Not had a drink.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
Oh my goodness. I would say overall, I mean, it's okay.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
If you're listening and you think the phrase do it
for the plot is funny, It's okay, like.

Speaker 2 (35:08):
We're we might just be different from you or might
have different opinions. That's okay.

Speaker 1 (35:12):
But I would just say that when you proceed throughout
your life making that kind of decision or living by
that phrase, and I'm sure you don't live by it
all the time, or nobody really does. But just when
ever you engage in situations that might not be the
healthiest for you long term, just to remember that it
is okay to make mistakes, but really just make sure

you want to take accountability for them, to recognize that
they are mistakes. And three use it as a learning experience.
Don't just keep doing things for the plot. Make sure
that if you do make a mistake, to apply to
your later life, because that can have long term repercussions.
Some things catch up with you later in life. And like,
it's just that's how it is, so just be careful.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
It's kind of an extension of and this, I guess
it still is kind of a thing. This more so
like during the pandemic slash right after, like the whole
main character thing. And in some cases, yes, like not
to be the person that reads into everything, but like, yes,
I get it, Like be the main character in your
own life. I would hope that you are considering that

it is your life. But I think at the same
time I need people to understand that just because you
are the main character of your own life does not
mean that you've existed the center of every other person's life,
and I think that the whole thing about doing with
applat is like serve as the main character in your
own life. I understand that, But at the same time,

people grow. You are not a movie. You're not a blockbuster.

Speaker 2 (36:38):
It's not cheated girls too.

Speaker 3 (36:39):
Like what you do have to repercussions. You can't like
go back and re write it, you know. So I'm
all for like be your main character whatever, But that
doesn't mean be selfish and make bad decisions. It just
means that like what you do, how you feel, how
you act, should evolve around like putting yourself first. That's
how I see the main character thing as. But like

this whole thing on TikTok where it's just like you're
gonna kicked in your own life. So like stret down
the street, what does that mean?

Speaker 2 (37:05):

Speaker 3 (37:06):
Or like I'm going on a forty vendor because I'm
gonna kicked off my own life. You have a drinking problem,
Like I think that we need to stop making it
about some arbitrary like aha and realize it like what
you're doing. What you're doing is not excused by saying, oh,
I'm doing it because well.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
No, I totally get your point, and I think to
go off that there's a balance between being spontaneous and
not taking life too seriously, but also having agency and
doing what's best for you in the long term. And
I think obviously sometimes that does involve doing things that
maybe are a little bizarre or out of the loop
for you as a person. I just don't like. I

think that that disproves the narrative do it for the
plot like, or at least what you were saying does
like when you were talking about main character syndrome or
like main character energy, you should be the main character
in your own life and therefore you should be looking
out for number one and doing things for the plot
is not the way to do that.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
I think that totally just proves point.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
I think people need surries. That main character syndrome is
another way of saying your vain Yes, I don't that
means yourself, That's what that means. But I think that
do it for the plot is Yolo's self centered cousin.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
In mind, this is so off topic, but in my
eighth grade yearbook, all of the signatures in him were
Yolo and.

Speaker 3 (38:21):
Hags Yellow has Okay, and.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
There was a smiley face in the yolo, you know,
and then the two o's with the eyes.

Speaker 3 (38:27):
And the Hags was like high flirted. Yeah, I text
you Hags emoji. Oh wow, like haggs three greater than sign?

Speaker 2 (38:36):

Speaker 3 (38:37):
Eat that one up?

Speaker 2 (38:38):
What is it?

Speaker 3 (38:38):
What's that one? The wait?

Speaker 2 (38:41):
X D Hags x D you know Disney x.

Speaker 3 (38:45):

Speaker 1 (38:48):
I know a lot of people who and I'm obviously
not gonna name names because you wouldn't know them like
on social media or anything. They're just like my ex
friends or like friends I might still be acquaintances with
who do stuff for main character syndrome unfortunately, and they
do things like show up to dinners two and a
half hours late, and they It's okay to be selfish

to an extent and do things for yourself to an extent,
and set boundaries to an extent. But at what point
does that make you a bad friend? At what point
does that make you a bad partner in a relationship
or bad family member?

Speaker 2 (39:19):
Et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
Like you do have to think about other people around you,
because if you be the main character for too long
and take that to such a far extent, you're gonna
lose a lot of people in your life, and then
you're going to be lonely long term, and that's not
best for yourself.

Speaker 2 (39:33):
People need people, That's how it goes.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
So I know that I definitely have some people in
my life who I've literally purposefully made a point to
distance myself from them, because that's awesome that you are
putting yourself first, and that's great that you feel like
you're the main character in your story, but you cannot
be the main character in mine.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
I don't have room for that.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
So I would encourage you that you have friends who
are kind of like sucking the life out of you
and taking main character syndrome to this like whole other level.
I would just advise you to not make a big
thing out of it, because sometimes people just don't change.
I would advise you to like just maybe create some
distance and find richer bonds, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
We talked about this in one episode. I think it
was more thened around like friendships, But okay, I'm like
connecting main character syndrome with people that use their aristrology
as an excuse for the behavior. Oh wait, this is
also connected, Like there are some people I feel like who.
I don't know if it's a situation of like how
they grew up or like who they surround themselves with

in the past. Like I guess it could work in
like a high school type setting, but like once you
hit the real world, like people's existance is it's not
solely there to serve yours, if that makes sense. So
I think that having that kind of wake up call
it's hard for some people. But at the same time,
nothing annoys me more than people who have extremely toxic behaviors.

Instead of addressing them growing up, they blame it on
their astrology sign Like I'll be the first to say
I'm a cancer. I'm very emotional. At the same time,
I'm too emotional. I'm dramatic. I know that, and I
do things to actively literally stop myself from going crazy
on people when I get upset, or like crying when
I get upset and things like that. So no, literally
because if a manics be mad, I'm the first who

want to send a full paragraph described my feelings. But
it took me realizing that it does not matter what
they did to me, what I how I feel about it.
Never in my life will I again explain to a man,
that they hurt me or how they hurt me. They
know that they hurt me. That was the intention of
the action, you know, Like, I'm not gonna keep wasting
my breath on people who don't deserve it. And I'm

not gonna be like, oh my god, I'm a cancer,
Like I'm just who I am. I get upset about things.
That's a human being, Like I have emotions. I understand that.
At the same time, I'm not going to take toxic
behaviors or behaviors that are unhealthy and be like, just
what cancers do it? You know, like, oh, I can't
send people do that.

Speaker 1 (41:55):
That's so annoying and piggybacking into the Himalayas off of that.
I hate when people blame their consistent toxic actions on
situations that have nothing to do with the current situation.
Does that make sense? So, oh my god, my dog
died when I was five stuff like that, or like,
oh my god, my girlfriend cheated on.

Speaker 2 (42:14):
Me when I was six years old, stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
You know, obviously, mental illness is one thing, but this
is very specific because it happens to me all of
the time, particularly in relationships, and I can it's that
it's just so funny.

Speaker 2 (42:28):
Because they'll use it as an excuse.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
I understand, you get in a disagreement and then after
you make up, you're like, also, this anger might be
displaced because it's coming from here, in this area of
my life.

Speaker 2 (42:38):
But when you blame.

Speaker 1 (42:39):
Your actions wholeheartedly on a random situation that literally has
nothing to do with the current thing that bothers me
so much, and I think it has a lot to
do with like your star sign and stuff. I mean,
people blame the people will do anything to avoid taking
accountability and to avoid saying sorry. They will do anything
to avoid being the wrong person in the argument. I

just think it's so funny, and I get it because
I have a lot of pride as well. Saying that
you're wrong and saying sorry it's not the funnest thing
to do. But at the same time, you can't constantly
blame your toxic actions and you're like, the way you
hurt people, even if you're not toxic, if you hurt
someone's feelings by accident, you can't keep blaming the shit

on random stuff. You know, astrology included, like stuff that
happened in your childhood. Like it's just I understand if
it has an influence on how you live your life.
But when you persistently are hurting other people and are
displaying toxic behavior, no, no, no, no, Like you have to
look at yourself in the mirror and get down to

the core of it and fix it.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
Because if you were really sorry, and if it was really.

Speaker 1 (43:45):
About that one situational thing that happened when you were nine,
you have to fix it. You have to take the
steps to fix it. And if you're not, that's on
you as well.

Speaker 3 (43:52):
What's so funny is there's like those trends where people
post like the craziest things they've said over text to
people that they're in situationship with also be like, oh
my god, it's like an Arious moon, Capricorns Sun Leo
rising cancer Moon, like I agree with you, no, the
common string and they'll be like you must be a
Virgo and they're like, no, I'm a Capricorn and they're like,

I wouldn't ever believe that. No, because it has nothing
to do with your star sign. You're just used to
portraying toxic behaviors because it's a coping mechanism or it's
your attachment style. Like I think that has more roots
in psychology than being like on a Capricorn moon, so
like to bully me in like, maybe it's because that's
how you've conditioned yourself to deal with hurt, to deal

with potential whatever, you know. So yeah, that's just my
that's how I see it.

Speaker 1 (44:39):
That's how that sees it, and you we all have that.

Speaker 3 (44:51):
I looked around, I was.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
Like, also to that point as well, I talking about
points this episode.

Speaker 3 (45:01):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
I'm like, oh, I love your point and additional I know. Sorry,
I don't even know you if you did, but I
liked it regardless.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
I think a lot of it also has to do
with when people grow up, or when people kind of
are in situations or in a bubble where they are
treated like the main character, or where they are treated
like they can do no wrong. When they become adults,
it's harder for them to actually take accountability in that
realm as well. I think the way someone grows up
and this is, you know, as an only child, I

feel like I can say this when you're like babied
your whole life, it's really hard to then go in
the real world and realize no.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
I have to be big girl. Pans on to that tune.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
It's also hard when let's say you have parents who
are like literally scared of you, or siblings who never
told you were wrong, when you have friends who just
always said yes, yes, men, it's really hard to then
counter people who will challenge you. And I think you
need to take accountability for that and not just say like, oh, well,
that's just who I am.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
No, it's like you actually have to be a person here.

Speaker 3 (46:00):
Yeah. I think it's so easy to find excuses for
bad behavior, and I will be the first to admit
that I do that all the time, but I.

Speaker 2 (46:09):
Think about it though it's okay, am I cute?

Speaker 3 (46:11):
Yeah, I'm a cancer. In the end, the only person
you're actually hurting is yourself because you can make excuse
after excuse after excuse. But at some point the people
in your lafe getting get tired of that and they're
going to walk away. And I think that I have
also been on the other side of things where I
see people that have really toxic behavior. As many times

you might come to them as a friend and try
and be like, oh, like I've seen you do this
that sometimes feels toxic, or like we talked about last episode,
we had a friend that would always interrupt and like
that might see something that it's very small. But I
think that in bringing it up and seeing how that
wasn't just about interrupting, it was not valuing what people
said again the whole like centering yourself in every conversation,

in every situation where it's like, no matter what I
have to say, it's more important than what you're saying
right now type thing. And I think that even in
trying to like correct those behaviors, it's not actually correct
because if you're not anyone's like parent, but raising attention
to selfish behaviors or toxic behaviors and friends it might
be in how they built a breakup, or if you
have a friend who like censoris men in their life

for example, like you might want to bring that up
to the and be like, hey, if I see this behavior,
like I don't want you to end up getting hurt.
So that's why I'm bringing this up. And I've been
on the side where people like just refuse to see
it as a problem or they'll be like watches who
I am deal with it, and it's like I'm not
doing this because of me. It's like part of being
a good friend or like being supportive of someone is

calling teaching and things that you see they're unhealthy because like,
for example, I will literally always say I was up
obsessed with my ex like he was a shining star
in my sky. There was not one thing he could
do there and make you break up with him, And
it became so unhealthy that, like I was getting a
lot of unhealthy weight. I was always depressed. I was sad,
and like my friends would tell me, like, you just
always seem sad, or you're always you're always in your

dark time, or like you're liking this man treat you
any which way and it makes me upset to see that,
and they told me over and over and over again.
It wasn't until I finally listened and realized that like
a lot of those behaviors that I was exhibiting, which
is like on one hand, being scared of being alone,
or realizing that like I thought that I deserved that treatment,
or that I can never get better, or I rather

be with someone who treats me like shit than to
be single because at least he likes me, things like that.
I didn't realize those characteristics or behaviors and how that
affects my friendships, my ship with my family, on shit
with myself, et cetera. Until I took a step back
and finally realized, like, I do have tosic behaviors that
need be changed. You know, It's not just because I'm
a cancer and I love love and all this stuff,
you know. So I feel like stepping back and actually

like thinking about that is so important and it sucks,
but I think it's a very important part of the
early adulthood and continuing to like constantly keep yourself in check.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
Another good example is I dated someone for two and
a half three years, and city would always come to
me and be like, Hey, not sure if this is.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
The greatest thing for you. I'm concerned.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
And I think the way that you approached it. Two
things is the way that you approached it. One always
really resonated with me, even though I didn't take action
until you know, a long time later. You always approached
it as a friend and like you were coming from
literally no other place than a place of love and concern.

Speaker 2 (49:22):
So that's one.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
And I would say, if you are in Sydney or
my position, because like when you were dating your rex,
you know, I would come up to you and voice
my concerns as well.

Speaker 2 (49:30):
I think the key there is too if you are on.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
The opposite end, make sure you are coming not from
a place of let's fight right now, let's go, or
you know, even insecurity or jealousy. Make sure you're coming
from a place of love. I think that's something you're
really good at in particular. And then also is when
you are on the receiving end, I would say open
your mind to I know it might seem like your

friend has what is it, some like not the best intentions,
and it might not be fun to get here that
like the person you've been dating for two years is
not the one.

Speaker 2 (50:03):
It's not fun. But at the same time, you.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
Have to understand that the person who is coming to
you about one.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
A relationship, two toxic behaviors. Three.

Speaker 1 (50:13):
I don't appreciate it when you come to dinner two
hours late. I don't appreciate it when you interrupt me.
You have a little bit of like this main character
thing going on that I feel like is impeding on
my life and I want to remain friends with you,
but it's really it's not the easiest at this point,
and here's how I think we should remedy that. When
someone comes up to you, I would just say, keep
an open mind, make sure you take accountability, say sorry
if it's needed, because like you have to remember the

end goal. Do you want to keep this friend? Do
you want to make sure that you end your life
with an abundance of support and love? And I think
that that is kind of a note because as much
as you do need to put yourself first, there is
an extent and like, if you always remain this main character,
always putting toxic behaviors off because haha, it's the plot,

I think that you're gonna end up very lonely or
it's going to have other long term repercussions that you're
not gonna like.

Speaker 2 (51:06):
That is all the time we have for today.

Speaker 1 (51:07):
Thank you guys so much, and you can listen to
us some more, some more, some more on Spotify iHeart
and you can follow us on socials, on Instagram and
TikTok at Crying in Public podcast. I think we're getting
a little cute rebrand soon per Sydney, which I'm really

excited about.

Speaker 3 (51:29):
Because I'm in Cancer Moon and keep rising. When I
get bored, I rebrand my entire life, and I can't
do that on my Instagram right now, so I'm using
crying in public.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
So that's funky and fresh and coming soon. We love you, guys,
thanks for listening.

Speaker 2 (51:43):
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