Daily Dad Jokes (24 Sep 2023)
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[Promo] Daily Shower Thoughts is a new podcast launched by myself and my co-host Lorelai Stewart. Join us for random, amusing and mind bending epiphanies. Pod links here Daily Shower Thoughts website.
[Promo] Check out the Get Happy Headlines podcast by my friends, Stella and Mickey. It's a podcast dedicated to bringing you family friendly uplifting stories from around the world. Give it a listen, I know you will like it. Pod links here Get Happy Headlines website.
[Promo] Check out the Daily Facts podcast that brings you interesting and surprising facts from around the world every day! Did you know that the longest recorded flight of a chicken lasted for 13 seconds? Or that there's a species of jellyfish that can essentially live forever? With Daily Facts, you'll learn something new and fascinating with every episode. Tune in daily and impress your friends with your newfound knowledge. Listen now on your favorite podcast platform or check out the pod links here Get Happy Headlines website.
Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: UrbanCyclerPT, SadWorry6182, kevindavis338, Potatatatatatatoe, JoeFas, AviatingPenguin24, MariaJust2, sulldanivan, incredibleinkpen, DotAggressive173, Tanner2003-2021, subsaver9000, mossypickins, .css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}
Episode Transcript
I really hate one direction fans. Oscillating fans cool the
room way better.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
What was the most revolutionary technology ever invented? The wheel?
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? He
just needed space?
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I always keep a ruler under my pillow. I mean,
how else would you know how long you've slept? If
lightning strikes an orchestra, who was most likely to get
hit the conductor? Why don't octopuses have forearms because they
(00:53):
have eight?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
What did Chuck Doors do when his parachute failed to open?
Brought it back for refund.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
I went out for a personal pan pizza and they
asked me what I wanted on it. I said, I
can't tell you that it's personal.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I told my brothers that my girlfriend didn't know what
to buy to remove undesirable plants from our garden. They
said we'd kill her. I said, that's no excuse for murder.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I went to prison for something I didn't do. I
didn't wipe the fingerprints off the knife.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Did you hear about the beauty pageant that was held
at the camping ground? It was pretty intense.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Why are mitochondria virgins because they're in cells?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I visited the air and Space Museum. There was nothing there.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
My people are starting to make me sick. I should
probably cook them longer.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
How do bankers describe having diarrhea liquidating their assets? I
was a little late with my dog's dinner last night. Yeah,
he gave me a negative Yelp review. There's a new
(02:50):
doors dash type service for cocaine. It's called Instagram.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Cowboy goes to his buddy, got eighty seven cows on
one acres? Can you help me round them up? Buddy says, sure,
ninety cows?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
What's noisy? Dirty, hyperactive, larger than a person, and sounds
like a chicken a kitchen.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Why the Little Mermaid struggled at school because her grades
are under the sea. I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones.
Keep listening for a bonus dad joke. We want to
bring some humor into your day. Share the laughs or
droans with your family and friends. Have a great night,
(03:49):
and I'll be back.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Tomorrow with more jokes. Thank you for tuning in. Hey listeners,
want to get smarter in less than ten minutes, then
check the Daily Facts podcast that brings you interesting and
surprising facts from around the world every day. Did you
(04:10):
know that the longest recorded flight of a chicken lasted
for thirteen seconds, or that there's a species of jellyfish
that can essentially live forever. With the Daily Facts podcast,
you'll learn something new and fascinating with every episode. Tune
in daily and impress your friends with your newfound knowledge.
Listen now on your favorite podcast platform.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Do you have your own dad joke you want to share?
Join the hundreds of listeners who have submitted their own
dad jokes through our voicemail. Please spread the laughs and
groans and submit your own dad joke to our voicemail
with the best ones to be included in special fan episodes.
Just leave your name, the city and state you live in,
and your best dad joke. Call nine seven eight three
nine three one zero seven six. I'll repeat that number.
(04:57):
It's nine seven eight three nine three one zero seven six,
Or check the show notes page for the number we
look forward to hearing from you.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
See the show notes page for social media links and
Joe credits. This show was recorded in front of a
canned studio audience. What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot?
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