Is buttcheeks one word? Or should I spread them apart? (+ 25 more dad jokes!)

Daily Dad Jokes (27 May 2023)

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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: naveird, Geronimo2U, prlugo4162, NovaSmoothbotGuy, Vast_Statistician215, pipipupumees, beeginey, EjaculatingNarwhal, ScarcityBrave2035, ilikesidehugs, ComfortableWish930, Budget-Pay3743, voiceoverflowers, mommypanda35, paulvs88, ViscountBurrito, professorf,

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What do you call a man with no arms and
no legs lying in front of your door? Matt is
butt cheeks? One word? Or should I spread them apart?
San Francisco isn't just funny, it's hilarious. How do trees

(00:34):
access the Internet? They log in? I moved my bed
to another room all by myself. I could have called
friends to help, but sometimes you got to take mattress
into your own hands. What instrument is an angler best

(00:58):
at castets? What do you call a dessert that you
can't remember the name of a falgatto? My wife always
has bad mood swings right when we cross into another country.

(01:19):
She must have borderline personality disorder. To our surprise, in
the delivery room, my wife gave birth to a pineapple,
an orange, and a watermelon. The doctor reassured us that

(01:39):
this was completely normal and we should relax and enjoy
the fruits of her labor. A man was at the
doctor's office sitting on the exam table. He had carrots
coming out of his nose and broccoli out of his ears.
The doctor looked at him and said, just by taking
one look at you, I can tell you're not eating right.

(02:02):
A guy walks into a bar with a piece of
asphalt under his arm. He says to the baronder, I'll
have a beer now and one for the road. What's
the opposite of gross, neat or net? What do you
call nichols and dimes raining down from the sky? Climate change?

(02:30):
Why did the melons have a formal wedding because they cantalope?
I recently watched a documentary about adhesives. I thought it
would be boring, but I was glued to the screen.
What genre of music are national anthems? Country music? I

(02:56):
dated a chiropractor. She was kind of manipulative. I once
worked for an origami company, but the company folded. Why

(03:18):
couldn't the red pepper learn archery because he didn't avenaro?
What do you get when I canary flies into a
screen door? Shredded? Tweet? What do you call a gingerbread
man that doesn't know his name? John Doe? I only

(03:44):
hit two good balls on the golf course today. It's
when I stood on the rake in the bunker. What
do you call a gas station store that is located
quite a ways away from the actual pumps convenience store?
I took an aide's test this morning. The doctor said

(04:06):
to think positive. Do you know how a silencer works?
It's baffling. I'm Bob Jeffy. Are you ready for a
bonus dad joke? There's one waiting for you at the
end of the episode. Our mission is to make the
world a funnier place, one joke at a time. Share

(04:28):
the jokes with your family and friends, Sweet dreams, and
I'll catch you tomorrow. Thank you for listening. Do you
have your own dad joke you want to share? Join
the hundreds of listeners who have submitted their own dad
jokes through my voicemail. Please spread the laughs and groans

(04:49):
and submit your own dad joke to our voicemail with
the best ones to be included in special fan episodes.
Just leave your name, the city and state you live in,
and your best dad joke. Call nine to seven eight
eight three nine three one zero seven six. I'll repeat
that number. It's nine seven eight three nine three one
zero seven six, or check the show notes page for

(05:10):
the number. I'll look forward to hearing from you. The
Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See
the show notes page for social media links and joke credits.
Why don't scientists trust Adams? They make up, everything,