Medieval Day! Sir Prise your family and friends with these dad jokes! 22 September 2023

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
M hmm.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
What do you call a knight made entirely out of
fine china? Sir Remick.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
The stickiest of King Arthur's knights was, Sir up.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
The king just knighted the first cow in history. He
is sirloing.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight? Surrender?

Speaker 2 (00:43):
I was the knight no one expected to see on
the battlefield today. Surprise.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Which knight is the protector of foods? Sir and rap?

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Why did King Arthur cut off the black Knight's legs?
That was the only way to defeat him.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
What was the name of the knight who loved electricity?
Sir kit?

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Why did Italian knights use pasta to duel because the
penney is mightier than the sword?

Speaker 1 (01:31):
What did the king name the knight he didn't need?
Sir plus?

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Where did the knight go to buy his desert transportation
to the camel lot?

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Who was the most peaceful knight? Sir Rennedy?

Speaker 2 (01:55):
What do you call a preachy knight? Sir man?

Speaker 1 (02:03):
How do knights communicate? Chainmail?

Speaker 2 (02:13):
And then there was the roundest knight at King Arthur's
round table. They named him Circumference.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
A grumpy Chinese man was once knighted, now he is,
Sir Lee.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
I googled lost medieval servant boy. The result was this
page cannot be found.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
Which night always wins hide and seek surveillance?

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Which of King Arthur's knights was the heaviest drinker? Sir
ossis of the liver?

Speaker 1 (03:01):
What do you call a knight who doesn't really exist? Surreal?

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Which knight of the round table helped Arthur decide where
to build camelot survey?

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Only one night from King Aldor's Roundtable supported vaccinations? Syringe?

Speaker 2 (03:35):
What do you call a knight who eats pancakes to
stay strong? Sir ripped?

Speaker 1 (03:44):
What do you call a short tempered knight doing a
high wire act circus.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
The king? Just falling to say I have won a knighthood?
It was a complete surprise.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
What do you call a squire who graduates into knighthood surpassed?

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Did you know that one of King Arthur's men was
always full of useless facts and knowledge? Yep? He was
the trivia Knight.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Did you ever hear about the knight that always had
enemies nearby? He was surrounded?

Speaker 2 (04:32):
The first ever person who successfully operated a patient was knighted.
He was called Sir Jerry. From that time onwards, I.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
Keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor.
Actually it's probably more of a nightmare.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
I sleep in a full suit of medieval armor to
get a good night's sleep.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
Lance isn't a common name these days, but in medieval
time people were named Lancelot.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor
in medieval times? They couldn't think of a name, so
they decided to call it a knight.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
What did the king say, after the squire won his
first joust one morn, We'll call it a knight.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
What do you call a medieval spy? Serville?

Speaker 1 (05:46):
Lance Blanc was a knight who had three squires. The
first was kidnapped by bandits, the second was knocked out
during a battle and captured by the enemy. The third,
thinking that this life was too dangerous, ran away. In
the morning, the night found a nearly empty sheet of parchment.

(06:06):
The only thing written on it was this page intentionally
left bloc.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
Jousting is so easy, it's pretty straightforward.

Speaker 1 (06:21):
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time?
Sir Lancelot?

Speaker 2 (06:28):
What is it called when a knight farks during a
jousting match, flatulence?

Speaker 1 (06:36):
What was the favorite extreme sport in medieval times? Surfing?

Speaker 2 (06:45):
Why do paladins prefer chain mail because it's holy?

Speaker 1 (06:55):
What night at the King's round Table expresses opinion without facts?
Sir MEAs.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Before we go to bed, my wife always recites the
members of the round table night after night.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
When King Arthur had a meeting at his round table,
it was an all nighter.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
Where does King Arthur get his torches from?

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Sir Lamcelot, which one of King Arthur's knights was always
overly cautious circumspect?

Speaker 2 (07:43):
What kinds of food do King Arthur's knights eat during
long quests? G real mix?

Speaker 1 (07:53):
Why did Sir Lancelot get into the wardrobe? He wanted
to be a knight in shining armoire?

Speaker 2 (08:05):
I was going to make a dad joke about the
medieval torture device the wreck, but that would really be
a stretch.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
Just saw Black Friday sales minus fifty percent off all
medieval torture devices only while stocks last.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
What do you call a medieval spearman who was self
employed a freelancer?

Speaker 1 (08:38):
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at
the antique store that was a royal pain in the ass?

Speaker 2 (08:50):
Which medieval line of work has been the most let
down throughout history? Guards?

Speaker 1 (09:00):
What crime do blacksmiths most commonly get charged with? Forgery?

Speaker 2 (09:06):
How do you know which blacksmith farted whichever one smelted it?

Speaker 1 (09:15):
Does anyone know what a trebyshad is? I know it's
a long shot. I'm Bob Jeffe and I'm Montgomery Jones.
And that's the surplus of dad jokes for medieval day.
We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans
far and why so, please do us a favor and

(09:37):
share just one of these jokes with your family and friends.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Thanks. Hey, listeners, want to get smarter in less than
ten minutes, then check the Daily Facts podcast that brings
you interesting and surprising facts from around the world every day.
Did you know that the longest record flight of a
chicken lasted for thirteen seconds, or that there's a species

(10:04):
of jellyfish that can essentially live forever. With the Daily
Facts podcast, you'll learn something new and fascinating with every episode.
Tune in daily and impress your friends with your newfound knowledge.
Listen now on your favorite podcast platform.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
Do you have your own dad joke? You want to share.
Join the hundreds of listeners who have submitted their own
dad jokes through our voicemail. Please spread the laughs and
groans and submit your own dad joke to our voicemail
with the best ones to be included in special fan episodes.
Just leave your name, the city and state you live in,
and your best dad joke. Call nine seven eight three
nine three one zero seven six. I'll repeat that number.

(10:45):
It's nine seven eight three nine three one zero seven six,
or check the show notes page for the number we
look forward to hearing from you.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
See the show notes page for social media links and
Joe credits. This show was recorded in front of a
canned studio audience.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Medieval Day! Sir Prise your family and friends with these dad jokes! 22 September 2023