My girlfriend asked me to do her hair like a Rastafarian. (+ 22 more dad jokes!)

Daily Dad Jokes (27 Sep 2023)

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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: EndersGame_Reviewer, jaihidro, Garlixo, thesunsetdoctor, CosmonautCommando, newyorkcitydude, Patient-Beginning935, Furyswipe, Garlixo, ruthlesscattle, Jester57, Emmo52, Meatballer_Unlimited, .css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
My girlfriend asked me to do her hair like a Rastafarian.
I'm dridding it.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
My wife was annoyed with me for singing Wonderwall all day.
She asked me if I could stop. I said, maybe.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
What is the most couch potato of all potatoes? Lais?

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Of course, everybody knows that pizza is delicious, but people
don't realize pizza is also profound. It's a deep dish.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
What did the beaver say when he slipped on some water?
Damn it?

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Why did the programmer go broke because she used up
all her cash?

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Why do fish live in salt water because pepper water
will make them sneeze?

Speaker 2 (01:13):
If crows are so intelligent, how come humans can't understand
their language. Nobody knows the cause.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
How do ferns pee? They take their plants down?

Speaker 2 (01:33):
Why did the cult member have a shower? He needed
a brainwash.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
There's a contest going on at the funeral home. You
only have to be interred to win.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
How can you tell a good steak from a bad steak?
One is medium rare and the other is a mistake.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
If you take shrooms in a middle you are technically
going on a field trip. Sadly, my child school has
a very different definition of field trip.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
What does the doctor say when a sick Pokemon comes
to the office. Let me take a peek at you.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
How do you know referees are happy? They whistle while
they work.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
I never tell dad jokes. He doesn't have a sense
of humor. I tricked a tree the other day.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
What a sap?

Speaker 1 (03:07):
I have created an app that allows you to rent
a zilga in for cheap. It's ride rental.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
These days. Willem Defoe has problems. He should have been
Willem de Friend.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
Actors and actresses are so arrogant. I'm sick of them
thinking that the no smoking rule in cinemas doesn't apply
to them.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
How did the lawyer get a black eye? He got
into a bar fight. I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones.
Stay tuned until the end of the episode for a
bonus dad joke. Our goal is to spread joy or
cringes to the world. Share the humor with your family

(04:01):
and friends. Have a good night, and I'll see you
again tomorrow. Thank you for tuning in.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
Looking for more dad joke humor to share then subscribe
to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly roundup
of the best dad jokes, memes and humor for you
to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign up today.
Check the sign up link in the show notes page
or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Do you have your own dad joke you want to
share join the hundreds of listeners who have submitted their
own dad jokes through our voicemail. Please spread the laughs
and groans and submit your own dad joke to our
voicemail with the best ones to be included in special
fan episodes. Just leave your name, the city and state
you live in, and your best dad joke. Call nine
seven eight three nine three one zero seven six. I'll

(04:58):
repeat that number. It's nine seven eight three nine three
one zero seven six. Or check the show notes page
for the number we look forward to hearing from you.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
The Daily Dad Jokes Podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
See the show notes page for social media links and
Joe credits. This show was recorded in front of a
canned studio audience. What Country Loves Voting the most Poland