National Egg Day! Listen to some egg-cellent dad yolks! 03 June 2023

Daily Dad Jokes (03 Jun 2023)

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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: SweetShakes, metrosexualbarbarian, takesjokeliterally, porichoygupto, hamadaeleleimy, beReal78, andersonfmly, Kablaaw, RoboTicks, gnazz23, OthelolzNZ, VERBERD, Fluid_Bag8283, .css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Kanye West is opening a breakfast restaurant, amal. Let you finish.
Which pop star is an omelet's favorite singer? Eggs cheering?
What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?

(00:23):
A mathemat chicken? Easter and April Fools are on the
same day next year? For efficiency, send your kids to
look for eggs that you haven't hidden. What happens to
an egg every time you look at it, it becomes excited.

(00:51):
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll
let you know. I was the best man for my
brother's wedding in Paris. At the reception, I raised my
champagne glass and set eggs, cinnamon bread and maple syrup.

(01:15):
It was a French toast. If rubber comes from rubber
trees and sugar comes from sugar canes, where do eggs
come from pool trees? I gave someone a fifty percent
tip today. Don't put all your eggs. Why were the

(01:42):
eggs Benedict served on a shiny platter on Christmas morning?
Because there is no plate like chrome for the Holland days?
How does the flash like his eggs running? I dropped
an a on to a concrete floor, and it didn't break.

(02:03):
This is because concrete floors are really hard. How do
cleptomaniacs like their eggs cooked poached? I was fired from
my job from making too many egg jokes. I was

(02:26):
laid off. My wife told me I would hurt my
arm beating the egg so hard. I told her, don't worry.
It's worth the whisk Did you hear about the race
between the cabbage, the tomato, the gravy and the egg.

(02:49):
At first the cabbage was ahead, but then the tomato
found it could easily catch up. The gravy kept running
and the egg got beaten. What does King Arthur call
the knife he uses to cut his omelets eggs caliber?

(03:12):
Why did the cautious cook boiled his eggs instead of
making an omelet? He didn't want to whisk it. The
last time I ate a Japanese omelet was a long
time ago. Did you know that being an omelet chef
at a ski resort is one of the most stressful
jobs in the world. Everyone has such high expectations. I'm

(03:41):
about to make the world's largest omelet. Best get cracking.
My son painted six Easter eggs the colors of the
infinity gems. I told him he made an e infinity
omelet before the aliens abducted me. They had me make

(04:05):
them nomeled because they were extra terrestrials. Thought I'd be
clever and make an omelet with flour and milk. What
a load of crepe that turned out to be. I

(04:27):
made a cheese omelet this morning. It was gouda. What
type of car does an egg drive? A yolk's wagon?
Why did the egg leave the comedy club? He didn't

(04:50):
appreciate the yolks? Where do you send eggs past their prime?
The Old Oaks home. A teenage girl rolled her eyes
as her mom was cooking eggs for her father. That's

(05:12):
her typical reaction to dad's yolks. I heard that sweetened
milk and egg yolks are getting a divorce. Apparently they're
mixed up in a custody battle. Anytime I hear egg joke,

(05:33):
I just sit there and think, are they yoking right now?
When food shopping, my wife always makes me pay for
the egg whites, but the yolks on her What do

(05:57):
you call an awesome chicken egg chilling? I keep getting
broken eggshills in my one hundred percent guaranteed unbroken egg cartons.
I guess these eggs aren't all they're cracked up to be.

(06:18):
I'm Montgomery Jones and that's the excellent dad yokes for
National Egg Day. I'm on a mission to spread the
laughs and groans far and wide, so please share these
jokes with your family and friends. Thanks. Looking for more

(06:38):
dad joke humor to share, then subscribe to our new
weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly roundup of the best
dad jokes, memes and humor for you to enjoy. Spread
the laughs and groans and sign up today. Check the
sign up link in the show notes page or visit
Daily Dad Jokes podcast dot com. Do you have your
own dad joke you want to share join the hundreds
of listeners who have submitted their own Dad day through

(07:00):
my voicemail. Please spread the laughs and groans and submit
your own dad joke to our voicemail with the best
ones to be included in special fan episodes. Just leave
your name, the city and state you live in, and
your best dad joke. Call nine seven eight three nine
three one zero seven six. I'll repeat that number. It's
nine seven eight three nine three one zero seven six,

(07:23):
or check the show notes page for the number I'll
look forward to hearing from you. The Daily Dad Jokes
podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes
page for social media links and joke credits.