April 2, 2025 • 4 mins
Daily Dad Jokes (02 Apr 2025)
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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes.
Joke credits: GnirobSW, spytfyrox, DocumentDifferent341, Smaf85, glnb20, Joel_Boyens, k_woz1978, Tuxedo_Muffin, theosinc930, Breakwaterbot, Horror-Ad-3113, rawrysaurus, , bitofagrump, ark1024, ComicGenius1986, Longjumping_Event_59, RedEM43, nebulavivi
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
I just bought fifty chicks from the farm. They were
going cheap.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Why did that alcoholic mathematician get arrested because he was
deriving drunk?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
My kid was refusing to listen and take his nap,
so I called the police since he was clearly resisting arrest.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on their ships
so when they come back to port they can Scandinavian?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Thenos goes to his urologist. The urologist says, congrats, you
also have the kidney stone.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
How do astronauts stay warm space heaters?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I have a chest set that is missing some pieces.
I think I can get the rest from a pawn shop.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I couldn't help it. I fell in love with a
handless woman. She's really got her hooks in me.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
What do you call the toilet of a king a
royal flush?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I used to be in a hip hop group called
the Candy Bars.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
I was the rapper son. Be happy you weren't born
on April first, or else your entire birthday would be
a joke.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
My dad wanted to listen to music while we were fishing,
so I put on something catchy.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
We'll return with more laughs. Following this short break, Why
does coffee taste like dirt because it was recently ground.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub,
and it's a forty five minute walk from the pub
to my house. The difference is staggering.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
What did the driver say to the one legged hitchhiker
hop in?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I had an interview for cleaning the mirrors in a funhouse.
It's a job I can really see myself doing.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
I asked my Chinese buddy what it's like to live
in China. He says he can't complain. I'm Bob Jeffy
and I'm Montgomery Jones. Stay with us until the end
of the episode for a bonus joke. We're on a
mission to spread the laughs and groans far and wide.
Help us out by sharing these jokes with your family
(03:12):
and friends today. Looking for the gift for Dad, We
have the official Daily Dad Jokes Podcast electronic joke button,
now available on Amazon, a massive five hundred preloaded dad
jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and groan. Check the
show notes page for the link. The Daily Dad Jokes
(03:36):
podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes
page for social media links and joke credits. This show
was recorded in front of a canned studio audience. I've
tried to convince my friend that he was made of leather,
but alas he wasn't swayed by my argument.
I just bought fifty chicks from the farm. They were
going cheap.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Why did that alcoholic mathematician get arrested because he was
deriving drunk?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
My kid was refusing to listen and take his nap,
so I called the police since he was clearly resisting arrest.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on their ships
so when they come back to port they can Scandinavian?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Thenos goes to his urologist. The urologist says, congrats, you
also have the kidney stone.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
How do astronauts stay warm space heaters?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I have a chest set that is missing some pieces.
I think I can get the rest from a pawn shop.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I couldn't help it. I fell in love with a
handless woman. She's really got her hooks in me.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
What do you call the toilet of a king a
royal flush?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I used to be in a hip hop group called
the Candy Bars.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
I was the rapper son. Be happy you weren't born
on April first, or else your entire birthday would be
a joke.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
My dad wanted to listen to music while we were fishing,
so I put on something catchy.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
We'll return with more laughs. Following this short break, Why
does coffee taste like dirt because it was recently ground.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub,
and it's a forty five minute walk from the pub
to my house. The difference is staggering.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
What did the driver say to the one legged hitchhiker
hop in?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I had an interview for cleaning the mirrors in a funhouse.
It's a job I can really see myself doing.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
I asked my Chinese buddy what it's like to live
in China. He says he can't complain. I'm Bob Jeffy
and I'm Montgomery Jones. Stay with us until the end
of the episode for a bonus joke. We're on a
mission to spread the laughs and groans far and wide.
Help us out by sharing these jokes with your family
(03:12):
and friends today. Looking for the gift for Dad, We
have the official Daily Dad Jokes Podcast electronic joke button,
now available on Amazon, a massive five hundred preloaded dad
jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and groan. Check the
show notes page for the link. The Daily Dad Jokes
(03:36):
podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes
page for social media links and joke credits. This show
was recorded in front of a canned studio audience. I've
tried to convince my friend that he was made of leather,
but alas he wasn't swayed by my argument.
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