Today I learned that in 1806 Noah Webster published A Compendious Dictionary of the English Language, the first truly American dictionary. Sounds like this was a defining moment in history. (+ 24 more dad jokes!)

Daily Dad Jokes (31 May 2023)

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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: Outrageous-Low-4979, INotZach, millerb82, TikTokYourLifeAway, iamtoolazytosleep, EndersGame_Reviewer, ButterBean123, MaxCWebster, Major_Independence82, HolidayWarm5971, DopeCharma, Magicdesign, steikul, Butterflies_Books, someguyonreddity0, le_sudu, eternaIboy, .css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
What happens If you can't pee, you're in trouble. Making
skeleton jokes can be tricky, but if you succeed, it
can be pretty humorous. A train engineer was arrested for murder.
The police said he had a locomotive. Why did the

(00:30):
orange turn green? Lime disease? I bought my daughter a
handbag from Iraq. She said, thanks for the Baghdad. Where
would we be without rhetorical questions? And what if there
were no hypothetical questions? Today? I learned that In eighteen

(00:55):
oh six, Noah Webster published a compendious dictionary of the
English language, the first the American Dictionary. Sounds like this
was a defining moment in history. When my wife told
me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put
my foot down. I hate Russian dolls. They're full of themselves.

(01:30):
You want to hear a joke about an extension chord?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to unravel it. What
do sharks get on their birthday? Fish cakes? What's orange

(01:51):
and sounds like a parrot? A carrot? I've created top
ten list of my favorite eels. Number one will shock you.
What do you call a rooster staring at a pile

(02:11):
of lettuce. A chicken sees a salad. Did you know
cheese makers can make a lot of money. All they
do is make that cheddar and cut the cheese. My

(02:35):
dad was screaming at me, trying to make me understand
about the natural source of water underground. But I know
he means well. I asked my dad if I could
take one of his donuts. He said, donut. Touch it.

(02:58):
Why doesn't anyone listen to me when I tell that
about my severe lack of corn? Please lend me an ear.
Why don't ants get sick because they have little antibodies?
A lourie loaded with snooker equipment crashed on the motorway,

(03:20):
Long queues everywhere. Why did the banker change careers he
lost interest? What does an angry pepper do it gets
holopano face. Why don't fish have to worry about their

(03:45):
weight because they have their own scales. My wife told
me to get rid of my gun collection, or she
was putting glue on them. I don't care what she says.
I'm sticking to my guns. I'm Bob Jeffy. Stick around
for a bonus dad joke. We're here to breighten your

(04:08):
world with some humor. Don't forget to share the laughs
or groans with your loved ones. Sleep well and I'll
be back with more jokes tomorrow. Thank you for your
continued support. Do you have your own dad joke you
want to share? Join the hundreds of listeners who have

(04:29):
submitted their own dad jokes through my voicemail. Please spread
the laughs and groans and submit your own dad joke
to our voicemail with the best ones to be included
in special fan episodes. Just leave your name, the city
and state you live in, and your best dad joke.
Call nine seven eight three nine three one zero seven six.
I'll repeat that number. It's nine seven eight three nine

(04:51):
three one zero seven six, or check the show notes
page for the number I look forward to hearing from you.
The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Class six Studios.
See the show notes page for social media links and
joke credits. How would you warm up a planet a
space heater