What do you call someone who challenges Mike Tyson to a fight? An ambulance. (+ 24 more dad jokes!)

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
What do you call someone who challenges Mike Tyson to
a fight? An ambulance. I went to a restaurant recently
and ordered something called big Duck. It tasted great, but
the bill was enormous. I asked my smartphone what to

(00:27):
do when I feel sleepy in the middle of the day.
It turns out there's a nap for that. I misunderstood
Pride Month. Would anyone like to buy fifteen lions? My
dad quit his job to pursue his dream in archaeology.
His career is now in ruins. Why is flowers so

(01:00):
stupid because it's in bread? I was trained in the
martial arts of sneezing on my enemies kung flu. My
late grandfather was a dwarf. He lived a short life.

(01:27):
A recent study shows that listening to Bohemian Rhapsody too
many times in a row can cause brain and lung
damage too much mercury content. Dogs can't operate MRI machines,
but cat scan. My old dentist had his good days

(01:52):
and his bad days. It was a real molar coaster.
What makes the waves so high at the beach? The seaweed?
What do you do when you have a fear of
speed bumps, you slowly get over it. I keep getting

(02:18):
the eerie feeling I'm not alone when driving underground. Doctor said,
I have carpool tunnel syndrome. What word becomes shorter when
you add two letters to it short? What kind of
melons get married in a church catalogs? What do you

(02:45):
call foodies who go out to dinner together? Taste buds?
If Salvador Dali ever owned a soccer team, it would
have been named Surreal Madrid. What did the vegetarian think

(03:10):
of the butcher? They thought people who sell meat are disgusting,
but people who sell fruit and vegetables are grosser. Helen
Keller walks into a bar and the pool table and
the dinner table and the bathroom door. Got arrested at

(03:32):
the airport last week. Apparently security doesn't appreciate it when
you call shotgun before boarding a plane. What do you
call a guy that's rude when you talk to him? Kurt,
I got my partner to get better soon. Card. They're

(03:55):
not sick or anything, but they could definitely get better.
Just went to Aristotle's diner. The burger was good, nice salads,
great dessert, but the fries tasted absolutely rancid. I guess
that's what happens when you cook in ancient Greece. I'm

(04:17):
Bob Jeffy. Are you ready for a bonus dad joke?
There's one waiting for you at the end of the episode.
Our mission is to make the world a funnier place,
one joke at a time. Share the jokes with your
family and friends, Sweet dreams, and I'll catch you tomorrow.
Thank you for listening. Looking for more dad joke humor

(04:42):
to share, then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter.
It's our weekly roundup of the best dad jokes, memes
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in the show notes page or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com.
Do you have your own dad joke you want want
to share? Join the hundreds of listeners who have submitted

(05:02):
their own dad jokes through my voicemail. Please spread the
laughs and groans and submit your own dad joke to
our voicemail with the best ones to be included in
special fan episodes. Just leave your name, the city and
state you live in, and your best dad joke. Call
nine seven, eight three nine three one zero seven six.
I'll repeat that number. It's nine seven eight three nine

(05:24):
three one zero seven six, or check the show notes
page for the number I look forward to hearing from you.
The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
See the show notes page for social media links and
joke credits. I once asked my father why he never
hugged me as child. He said, don't be an idiot.

(05:45):
You weren't even born yet.

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Daily Dad Jokes (05 Jun 2023)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}What do you call someone who challenges Mike Tyson to a fight? An ambulance. (+ 24 more dad jokes!)