Why did the detective stay in bed all day? (+ 19 more dad jokes!)

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Why did the detective stay in bed all day he
was working under cover?

Speaker 2 (00:12):
How many bones are in a hand? A handful?

Speaker 1 (00:22):
I cried when my daughter gave me my fiftieth birthday card.
One would have been enough.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died he
passed away?

Speaker 1 (00:38):
Did you hear the goat dad was arrested? Turns out
he was bleeding his kids.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
My wife came home the other day and asked me
to put the kettle on. I said, don't be daft,
it won't fed.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
Cops knocked on my door to tell me my dogs
were loose chasing people on bikes. I laughed, because my
dogs don't even know how to ride bikes.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
I once had a baby venomous ocean snake as a
pet that I never told anyone about. It was my
little sea crete.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
How do you jump higher on a water bed? You
spring water?

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Where do video game characters go to get stronger?

Speaker 1 (01:43):
Earthworm Gem, Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, But that's okay.
Something tells me he'll have a great fall.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
All can a German person be if they loose both
their feet nine feet?

Speaker 1 (02:08):
If you call someone a stick in the mud, it's
because they are no fun. But if a dog finds
a stick in the mud, it's the greatest day of
his life.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
When you're under the sea and an eel bites your knee,
that's a moray.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
I've decided to take up gardening. Does anyone know where
to get pizza seeds from?

Speaker 1 (02:51):
My teacher got mad at me after I ate my homework,
but she said it was a piece of cake.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
In the boxing ring, my ring name is the Human
Mob because my opponent always wipes the floor with me.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
Scientists have recently discovered a new species of pinnipids. The
newly discovered species make noises that sound exactly like yes yes.
They have been classified as seals of approval.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
I'm Bob Jeffy.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
And I'm Montgomery Jones. Are you ready for a bonus
dad joke? There's one waiting for you at the end
of the episode. Our mission is to make the world
a funnier place, one joke at a time. Share the
jokes with your family and friends. Sweet dreams, and I'll
catch you tomorrow. Thank you for listening. Hey listeners, want

(03:54):
to get smarter in less than ten minutes, then check
the Daily Facts podcast that brings you interesting and surprising
facts from around the world every day. Did you know
that the longest recorded flight of a chicken lasted for
thirteen seconds, or that there's a species of jellyfish that
can essentially live forever. With a Daily Facts podcast, you'll
learn something new and fascinating with every episode. Tune in
daily and impress your friends with your newfound knowledge. Listen

(04:17):
now on your favorite podcast platform. Do you have your
own dad joke you want to share? Join the hundreds
of listeners who have submitted their own dad jokes through
our voicemail. Please spread the laughs and groans and submit
your own dad joke to our voicemail with the best
ones to be included in special fan episodes. Just leave

(04:37):
your name, the city and state you live in, and
do your best dad joke called nine seven eight three
nine three one zero seven six. I'll repeat that number.
It's nine seven eight three nine three one zero seven six,
or check the show notes page for the number we
look forward to hearing from you.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
See the show notes page for social media links and
joke credits. This show was recorded in front of a
canned studio audience. My friend asked me if I've seen
the new show about a hacker that failed to hack
a computer. I said, I tried, but I just couldn't
get into it.

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Daily Dad Jokes (23 Sep 2023)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Why did the detective stay in bed all day? (+ 19 more dad jokes!)