World Gratitude Day! Time to appreciate these dad jokes! 21 September 2023

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Thank you student loan for helping me through college. I
don't think I can ever repay you.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
How do vampires express gratitude? Fangs a lot?

Speaker 1 (00:21):
How did the inmates show gratitude to the jailer he
shanked him.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
I was finally able to revive my dead wife and
she kissed my neck to express her gratitude. That feels
so neck romantic.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
First day of work, my boss told me to show
gratitude to every customer per shift. Now, after many years,
he says I should show gratitude to a max of
two customers per shift. I have a thankless job.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
How does Lady Gaga show gratitude to her Italian father,
Papa Papa Grazier.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
To whoever gave me a cheap dictionary for my birthday?
I can't find the words to thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Our waiter at brunch today was a war veteran. I
didn't know when to thank him for his service.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
When the father in Ireq gave his daughter a new bag,
she replied, thanks for the bag, Dad.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
The pandemic resulted in a lot of babies and an
appreciation for making bread. There were lots of buns in
the ovens.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Why didn't the entitled homeowner appreciate his new marble countertop.
He took it for granted.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Vegans don't appreciate my dad jokes, probably because they are
so cheesy.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
I'd like to take a moment to appreciate irrational numbers.
Complex as they may seem, they always keep it real.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yes, we'd love to join the nose Appreciation Society. Sign
us up.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Some people don't appreciate my love for simple puns, but
I don't care. This is just how I roll.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
Why do trees appreciate fart jokes because they're always breaking wind.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Over the winter holidays? What is Humpty Dumpty most appreciated
for his egg naggin?

Speaker 2 (03:07):
I don't think people truly appreciate just how good of
a workout it can be. When going to the bathroom,
it's physically draining.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
Why was the young woman so appreciative of her zombie
boyfriend because he was only interested in her for her brains.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
To all the organ donors out there, I just want
to say, I really appreciate what you do that really
takes guts.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
I'd like to thank my legs for supporting me, my
arms for always being by my side, and my fingers.
I could always count on them.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
My daughter turned eighteen over the weekend, so I bought
her a lockett with a picture of herself inside. Thankfully,
she's now finally independent.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
I want to thank my English teacher for teaching me
that the words copious and plethora they mean a lot
to me.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
Thank you for explaining how gravel was made. It was crushing.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
A friend thanked me for teaching him about minimalism. It
was the least I could do.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He
said thanks, I said, don't mention it.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
Thank you for laning translucent to me, However, you weren't
completely clear.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Thank you for giving me that book about sponges. I
found the material very absorbing.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
Thank you for defining global It means the world to me.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
Thank you for explaining going against the grain to me,
but it really rubbed me the wrong way.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
Thank you for explaining to me how to completely rewire
my house. It was kind of revolting.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
Historical records indicate that Julius Caesar never once said thank
you in his entire life. This is likely due to
the fact that he didn't speak English.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
Thank you for explaining how the continents move. I think
I caught the drift.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
Thank you for sharing that article about dietary fiber. It
was a little hard to digest.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
Thank you for explaining conditioners to me. It really cleared
up a lot of loose ends.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
Thank you for teaching me about audiobook encyclopedias. It speaks volumes.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
We should be grateful for midwives. They really help people out.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
After I lost my right arm, I tried hard to
stay grateful for my one good arm, but then I
lost that one too. Is there nothing left I can
count on.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
I don't speak a lot of Spanish, but my Spanish
friends are always grateful when I say mucho. It means
a lot to them.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
Every day, I'm grateful for what's keep me to a
down to earth lifestyle.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
Gravity infrastructure is so important. I'm so grateful for sidewalks.
They've really kept me off the street. I resolve to
be more grateful this year. So to start things off right,

(07:45):
I'd just like to say the rotation of the Earth
really makes my day. I am grateful for gravity. It
keeps my head out of the clouds.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
I just received high praise regarding my health care debt.
I apparently have outstanding medical bills.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
Last night. There was such an amazing stand up comedian
at the party that we decided to raise our glasses
filled with alcohol to praise him. Our spirits were lifted.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
I caught a young woman throwing stones at my greenhouse,
but I did not tell her off. Instead, I praised her.
She broke the glass ceiling.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
If you leave it gratuity for a waitress of the
bovine persuasion, does that constitute cow tipping?

Speaker 2 (08:48):
I was on a cruise where gratuities were automatically included.
A friend wanted to buy internet access, but he wasn't
sure if he would have to pay gratuities for internet too.
I said, of course you do. You have to tip
your server.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
And that's the gratuitous Dad jokes for world Gratitude. Dad.
We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans
far and wide, so please do us a favor and
share just one of these jokes with your family and friends. Thanks.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then subscribe
to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly roundup
of the best dad jokes, memes, and humor for you
to enjoy, spread the laughs and groans, and sign up today.
Check the sign up link in the show notes page
or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
Do you have your own dad joke you want to
share join the hundreds of listeners who have submitted their
own dad jokes through our voicemail. Please spread the laugh
and groans and submit your own dad joke to our
voicemail with the best ones to be included in special
fan episodes. Just leave your name, the city and state
you live in, and your best dad joke. Call nine
seven eight three nine three one zero seven six. I'll

(10:14):
repeat that number. It's nine seven eight three nine three
one zero seven six, or check the show notes page
for the number we look forward to hearing from you.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
See the show notes page for social media links and
Joe credits. This show was recorded in front of a
canned studio audience.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}World Gratitude Day! Time to appreciate these dad jokes! 21 September 2023