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November 9, 2023 27 mins

Last week we met Perla who might love horror films but also believes in soulmates! This week, Perla is back to find a guy who won’t ghost. Contestants play a zombie apocalypse game about love languages, and star in their very own telenovelas with Abuelita Liliana acting out parts. Will any of the contestants prove sweet enough for Abuelita’s new nieta?


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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Buena buena Misa mortis, welcome back to date my Hourlida. First,
I am your host Vico Ortis, side by side with
our loving hourly Danileana. You'll sup swiping' and start smooth
chin with a little help from Alida.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
You know, guys, help is on the way. Hello to
all my beautiful modists out there. We are back and
we're going to help our main dater, per La from
last week find.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Some hi to Sup super ready to find Perla the
love of her life.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
But you know, never know, you never know.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
A last week we met Perla, who loves being silly
and is all about her friends. She is also a
leo who loves horror films. Perla's looking for stability, consistency
and wants a friend turned lover whom she can grow with.
I mean, don't we all? Oh she believes in so

mat and I freaking love that.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
Tell me too.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
So we also met the two contestants that are trying
to win Perla over and me of course, because they
have to go through me and they're going to have to.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Do a really good job.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
Now, we met Jatan, who is an all over creative
and is very close with his family. Which is an
important point for Perla. His sodiet sign is cancer that
Vika knows all about that. Shatana is looking for someone
who is independent, loves helping his partners achieve their dream
and he likes to be silly. Well, who doesn't. His
ex girlfriend was deaf and he learned sign language while

they were dating. That, to me is amazing to have
that capacity, that love, that enthusiasm for the relationship.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
To he had grow. I like him a lot. And
then we met David.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
Who is a photographer for editorial, fashion and music who
loves hiking, Oh, I'm going hiking with him, skateboarding, noll
fall off, hanging out with friends, and game nights. He
is an airess and is looking for someone who is ambitious,
not codependent, and knows their own strengths. Someone's secure, confident, independent, conscientious,

just a total little package. I think that describes our
beautiful Perla.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Also, No, oh, most definitely. And I can't wait to
see how these dashing young do with the games we've
made up for them today. I will lead them.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
Is that the horror part? Yes?

Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yes, Now let's check in with Perla before bringing in
the boys. High Perlas lista you're ready, memore los, Yes
I am.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yes, we got some very fun thematic games for you today.
I cannot wait for you to see what we've got
cooking in this cosina, Girls, is going to be cookie
and spicy. All right, we'll be back to see you
very very soon. So let's bring in the victims to

the games we're playing.

Speaker 4 (03:29):
Bring in the contestants.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Contestants, welcome to this episode. You want to explain why
we're talking in the way that we're talking.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
We are talking the way we're talking because we're stilly crazy.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
But also because our main data today loves two different
kinds of media horror movies and less Oh yeah, and.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
In fact, she loves horror movies so much that she
quit her day job to start writing horror scripts. Yes now,
from growing up watching telen novelas, which are a horror
movie all on their own. Our main data also believes
in soulmates. Oh so, we want to explore how you
relate to the five Love languages, but with a twist.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
Now, this game that we're gonna play right now is titled.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
Cabin in the Woods.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
Imagine the world is in the midst of a zombie
apocalypse and you and your partner have found security in
an isolated cabin deep in the woods. It's been over
two years and your relationship has become a bit stale
from you know, trying to survive the apocalypsese and all.

How do you keep the love alive with the fear
of zombies and death at your door? Through this game,
we'll explore how you would cater to our main dater's
top three love languages in the midst of the zombie
takeover better lass. Top three love languages are quality time,

physical touch, and acts of service.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
That okay, and here we go.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Now, Now, this one may seem redundant because you have
nothing but time being all alone with your partner in
the woods. But just because you have to spend time
together doesn't mean it's intentional quality time together focusing on
the relationship and on each other.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
Some means.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
Guappos, tell me it's your partner's birthday? You think, who
knows what day it is? At this point? I mean, yeah,
the past week there have been sounds of zombies and
the mere distance outside the cab, and.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
So it's best that you stay inside.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
How do you cultivate a romantic, intentional birthday celebration and
distract your partner from the mess outside. What's on the
agenda for the strangest two person birthday celebration?

Speaker 5 (06:15):

Speaker 1 (06:16):
This is a got an answer?

Speaker 6 (06:20):
Wait, so I had one, but then we moved it inside.
Do we have to stay inside?

Speaker 3 (06:25):
Well? And you want to be killed by the zombies?

Speaker 2 (06:28):
But also, I mean, maybe the zombies are coming to
the party.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Let him be creative.

Speaker 6 (06:32):
There's a fun Exactly what's the one of living if
we ain't close to dying? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (06:41):
I like that.

Speaker 6 (06:42):
So when y'all started talking about zombies, I was like, yo,
I'm already sold. I got a zombie survival handbook, y'all.
I love zombies so much, so I'm like, yo, all right, cool.
So but that's songs like quality time, yo, Like I've
been waiting for the zombie apocalypse. I ain't even lie.
When COVID first hit, I was like, yeah, cool, I'm ready.

Speaker 7 (07:01):
I got my sword.

Speaker 6 (07:03):
But I definitely would want to go outside. But I
would make a game of like scouting the area and
seeing how many resources we can get, and we're like,
whoever could come back with the most resources basically wins
this game. So with that being said, like I'd craft
up the weapons and all of the gear and all
of that stuff for me and my baby, and then

we run out there and we go on there. We're
spending you know what I mean, We're spending quality time
together while risking our life, which is pretty late. You know,
it's pretty kilor raighted. It's like a roller coaster, right absolutely,
get back. Of course, the winner, she gonna win regardless.
You know what I'm saying. I'll drop off a little
something so she got more resources and then with some
physical touch you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
Oh, yeah, that's the winning part. That's what's up, David.
What you got.

Speaker 7 (07:49):
It also depends.

Speaker 8 (07:50):
What resources we have indoors, because I'm definitely not going outside.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
And we find a security place like we're in.

Speaker 7 (08:00):
Yeah, I will cook you up the best rabbit that
I have. Yes, and you can watch me do it all.
Light some candles, just home vibe inside.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
I love that. Okay, this is great. Let's move on
to the next scenario, which is all about act of service.
So your partner just returned from a ten hour long
very foraging journey and came back empty handed. She's distraught,
her feet are in pain, and she is exhausted from

that ten hour hike, feeling all around deplete it. What
can you do for her around the cabin, expressing acts
of service to make your partner feel a little better.

Speaker 3 (08:48):
David, okay, we'll go with you. First.

Speaker 7 (08:50):
Do we have some red wine in the cabin?

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Listen, if you don't believe, do whatever you want, YEA open.

Speaker 7 (08:58):
A bottle of red wine.

Speaker 8 (09:00):
Us some water for those feet, look up those feet,
and some hot water, and all our brains and our physique.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
And yeah, a little spot date.

Speaker 7 (09:11):
While dinner's cooking. Another rabbit.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
Yeah, you're like, maybe, don't worry. I know that you
were berry hunting. What I got? Another rabbit? Here?

Speaker 6 (09:19):
I got you and the squirrel.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
Maybe amazing.

Speaker 7 (09:26):

Speaker 6 (09:27):
I feel like if she was going for ten hours,
you know what I'm saying, around hour or two, I
would have probably went out to look for some berries
just in case, you know what I'm saying. So hopefully
I found something. When she got home, she sees some
berries on the table. She don't feel to defeat it,
you know what I mean. But the food's obviously cooking,
everything's made, the fireplace is gonna be going. I'm gonna
have some music playing some smooth jazz, you know what

I'm saying. So when she come in, we could talk
about her day. Ten hours is a long time to
be out there. Who is eat? You know what I'm saying.
We're gonna drink. I'm a rubber feet because she've been
out there walking, you know what i mean. Storm the troops,
have that fire plan and music plan, and just let
her relax, you know what I'm saying, to talk about
the day ten hours? Was she experienced and turn the
day that she thought was a horrible day into a

great day? Was she learned what she see? Did she
see any new landscapes? Was there a lot of zombies
around the area. Let's talk about that. Let's flip it.
You know what I'm saying. See the glass have full
rather than have empty?

Speaker 3 (10:20):
Cue. Even David likes that.

Speaker 1 (10:26):
I was like, Hell's yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
And here we move on to our last scenario, physical touch. Okay,
so you've been hiding away in this cabin for who
knows how long, and your physical intimacy has taken a
hit because of well, you know, the zombie takeover and fearing.

Speaker 3 (10:45):
For your lives and all that jazz.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
Now, it's been quite some time since you and your
partner were intimate or even shared sweet moments of affection
like a hug in this end of world time scenario,
how would you express physical touch in a sensitive and
perhaps also spicy manner.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
If both of you were consenting? Is it done?

Speaker 6 (11:11):
I think, you know? For a place starts outside of
the bedroom first, so like continuing on the music's playing.
We got some drinks, some wine, hopefully drinking that, and
then take her to her bedroom and I'm massaging her
body for sure, hopefully we have some oils, you know,
some aromas, run her a bath, and then you know

what I'm saying. She steps out the bedroom and I'm
in there, you know what I mean, I'm chilling on
the bay, and physical touch would commence after that.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
Yeah, y'all are really good at her mental sizing the
zombie apocalypse. This is great, David, what's your scenario?

Speaker 8 (11:48):
I am a huge cuddler, so I would love to
cuddle and carass and massage.

Speaker 7 (11:54):
That head a good like hair rub always does the trick. Yeah,
having you know red wine again, they.

Speaker 3 (12:01):
Must have both brought some cases.

Speaker 6 (12:03):
That's great, like neighbors in the cabins.

Speaker 8 (12:10):
So yeah, I mean I love to cuddle, the hair, crass,
the massage, and that would definitely lead to a lot
more physical touch.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
Okay, I went details.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
A dark Yeah, oh my goodness, gracious, well that was
it for this scenario moment. What a wild ride. When
we get back, won't play some more games before picking
a winner? Welcome back to day.

Speaker 8 (12:48):
I wanted the.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
First and now we're just one round of games away
from a Wilita picking our winner. So, as you already know,
our main dater grew up watching the Las, So what
better way to get to know all of you as
you approach relationships than with our game What would you do?

Speaker 3 (13:13):
Telenovela edition?

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Ileana and I are gonna read each of you a
little py doacito of scenes from three made up but
perfectly believable telenoel La scenarios, and you must act out
your response in the best way possible. Muchachos, Please suspend
your disbelief and think of Liliana as your girl and

you're an actor. Now, okay, this is the role of
a lifetime. So you kissed my twin sister. You accidentally
went on a date and kissed Liliana's evil twin sister.

Speaker 3 (13:54):
What would you do? I can't believe this.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
You failed for my evil sisters charm, and I had
to find the two of you locking lips on the beach.

Speaker 3 (14:06):
Now our wedding is sabotage. David, what you gotta say?

Speaker 8 (14:10):
You are both equal beautiful souls and you should be
proud of your mother.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
That's great, Goddan, what's your?

Speaker 9 (14:22):
What's your?

Speaker 3 (14:23):
I can't believe this.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
You fail for my evil sister's charm, and I had
to find the two of you locking lips on the beach.

Speaker 3 (14:32):
Now our wedding is sabotaged.

Speaker 6 (14:34):
No, no, no, baby, you don't understand. Okay, I thought
that she was you, but I mean, you both are
extremely beautiful. But I was gonna tell you myself. I
just didn't have the chance. And you've seen it. Our
wedding can't be sabotage. You're the one that I want.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
Oh my god, Oh my goodness, Oscar, that was great, good,
Oh my god. All right, I'm gonna mean mommy today
for a little mother. There's approval scenario.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
Your mother doesn't approve.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
Of Leanna's obscure ways, and you don't know if you
do either. How do you let her off?

Speaker 3 (15:11):
And I'm mommy, right, now.

Speaker 4 (15:13):
I don't like what that woman has done to you.
She's staring her family apart.

Speaker 1 (15:19):
Do something, Miko.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
You're breaking up with me after everything we've been through.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
You're going to.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
Let your mother come between our love?

Speaker 3 (15:33):

Speaker 7 (15:34):
If my mother says no.

Speaker 4 (15:38):
Well done, Micho, Well done, Jodan, my son, are you
going to fight for our honor or for your woman?

Speaker 6 (15:47):
As tough as this is, I'm in love with your
twin sister.

Speaker 3 (15:55):
The plot that gad but I already killed her.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Oh my goodness, Gracio, this is so much fun.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
Scenario long lust lover comes back from the dead.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
In this case long lost husband. I have a secret
for my past. I never thought it would come back
and haunt us, but my husband has just come out
of a ten year coma.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
He wants me back. I don't want to go back
no more. I love you.

Speaker 7 (16:28):

Speaker 3 (16:30):
What are we going to do, David?

Speaker 7 (16:31):
What you got memore? Don't worry. We will find him
and we will put him in another ten year coma.

Speaker 3 (16:39):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yes, period, well done, Well done.

Speaker 6 (16:51):
My love. He's obviously a zombie and I'm waiting on
this moment my whole life. So let's take care of
the problem.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
I love how they think.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
Last scenario, blood lust, Would you decide to continue your
love with a thirst for blood for eternity or not?

Speaker 3 (17:16):
I want to suck your blood? Do you accept this
love for eternity?

Speaker 1 (17:25):
My love in Transylvania were here?

Speaker 8 (17:29):
Yeah, I would love to, but I think now I
need the tenure coma.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
Amazing no blood involved.

Speaker 6 (17:47):
Wait, so you're going to turn me into a vampire?

Speaker 3 (17:50):
I kind of like it.

Speaker 6 (17:51):
Yeah, Oh yeah.

Speaker 5 (17:55):
Suck my blood, baby, eat that after hours after oh god,
well yeah, thank you all for playing.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
That was completely absurd in the most incredible of ways.
Thank you so much. Honestly, word t Lemondo. Let's like,
bring them over here. There's some pitches here.

Speaker 3 (18:18):
Suck me.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
Now here's the thing? Should we let them into our
little secret?

Speaker 3 (18:27):
I think it's time? When did we go?

Speaker 1 (18:29):
Our main data has been listening in this whole time.
Awilita might have an idea of what the main dat likes.
But let's see if we have a unanimous decision. To

all of our contestants and much besos on your search
for love. Thank you for playing. We'll be back after
some deliberation with our la. Welcome back to DAYMA. First,
my goodness, gracious, Aita, those were just such incredible, joyful games,

so creative, so delightful.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
The way they participated, the way they got into it,
it just shows that they're here because they want to be.
Unlike our contestant who left earlier. She's just saying, Awlbita
does not forget things.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
Oh she does not, she does not, pla, what are
your thoughts?

Speaker 3 (19:35):
Tell us?

Speaker 9 (19:36):
Tell us God, that was hilarious.

Speaker 10 (19:39):
First of all, they're both so funny in such different ways,
right like, I can see myself vibing with both of them.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
What are your thoughts? Difficult?

Speaker 2 (19:49):
They are very creative, very on the spot, young men,
both ambitious, both big hearts. I tend to go with
Jitan a little bit more. He's already constructed his path.
He knows where he's going, he knows exactly where he wants.
It doesn't mean that David doesn't, but there's a little

bit more security that I see in him, a little
more of the few things that Perla wants someone to
do for her. I saw that, I heard that in
his heart. They're both beautiful, but I will take the
opportunity to know what it is that your heart feels.

Speaker 10 (20:29):
Well Willita Macon says, because that's where I was living.
You know, he's in my waiflank. It's like, I'm just
like the things he said. I was like Chuck check.
I can't just see myself vibing with him, and I
can see myself vibing with David.

Speaker 9 (20:49):
But as a friend, q.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
Qque, I love that.

Speaker 9 (20:52):
I love that.

Speaker 3 (20:58):

Speaker 1 (20:59):
Lover boys, this has been an incredibly tough deliberation. You
both truly are just so delightful. Ahlita has made a decision.
So Alita, you want to get away and choose the
one who's going to move forward for a little date
with Perla.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
First of all, both of you are the most incredible
young men I have spoken to and met in a
very long time. You have beautiful hearts, You know exactly
where you're at and exactly where you're going. The only
thing in all of this is that I have to
take into consideration what our main data wants, who she

aligns with, and is not to say that anyone is
better than anyone else except me, of course, But today
the one person I must bid goodbye to is David.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
David, we love and adore you. Please keep in touch
because you're such a delight, So we have.

Speaker 3 (22:06):
How do you feel?

Speaker 1 (22:10):
Would you like to turn on your microphone and your video?

Speaker 6 (22:14):
How are you doing today?

Speaker 7 (22:18):

Speaker 1 (22:21):
I was gonna ask first impressions, but you already jumped in.

Speaker 3 (22:24):
Oh yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
Love that. Yes, give us your first impressions.

Speaker 6 (22:34):
Oh she's gorgeous. Pop on zoom and lit up the
whole screen.

Speaker 9 (22:40):
Blog off.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
Now we love those words of information.

Speaker 9 (22:46):
Thank you, you're very handsome.

Speaker 6 (22:49):
That's a high compliment from here.

Speaker 2 (22:51):
It's so cute because I wish our listeners could take
a peek into these two gorgeous faces and as they
speak and they're both close their eyes, like there is
so much romance and hope and light coming into this.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
I have high hopes with this beautiful together here you're
at it's been hot the entire show.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
Well, so now that you both have met, we're gonna
send you over for a little seven minutes and heaven
virtual media day dime. Now it's your time.

Speaker 3 (23:29):
I will eave that.

Speaker 1 (23:30):
I'm watching you.

Speaker 3 (23:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, okay, all right, all right,
I'm just listening.

Speaker 6 (23:35):
Sure, sure, sure, what's going on? Where are you from?

Speaker 9 (23:40):
New York? Oh?

Speaker 6 (23:41):
From Massachusetts? New Bedford. No way, Yes.

Speaker 9 (23:44):
I used to.

Speaker 10 (23:45):
I used to go to mass a lot, and all
my friends are from mass because I went to school
in Maine.

Speaker 6 (23:49):
So oh fuck. So are you familiar with cave Verdians
because we're like, yeah.

Speaker 10 (23:53):
My best friends in college, cave Verdian LA has some
kve Verdians.

Speaker 6 (23:58):
They got like three okay, but I think.

Speaker 7 (24:00):
I like them in again, So.

Speaker 9 (24:03):
When did you move here?

Speaker 6 (24:04):
I've been out here majority of my life. I moved
to San Diego when I was like super young. Oh
about there, and then I came out here. I've been
out here for like four years now.

Speaker 9 (24:13):
Okay, cool, cool.

Speaker 6 (24:15):
But yeah, I'll just be working. I like that you're
in the modeling category because you know, like I act too.
We kind of got the same schedules, and I've always
been one to be like, oh shoot, I could get
you in on this with me, Like, if we're doing
something together, I see that as cool quality time too,
you know what I mean. And we make it money.

Speaker 10 (24:33):
You guys, literally the amount of times my agent's like, yo,
are you dating someone?

Speaker 9 (24:38):
I need you to do this audition, and.

Speaker 6 (24:41):
I mean, I ain't gonna hold you. We look pretty
good together. I can see it off these zooms right now,
just wait through it, get in person.

Speaker 9 (24:46):
I'm shy. Oh my god.

Speaker 10 (24:49):
It was just good to hear that you're in that world,
because I mean, I majored in theater, so I also
love acting and like, I've definitely put that away also,
which makes me look sad.

Speaker 6 (25:00):
So you got it, get back in it.

Speaker 9 (25:01):
I know I have to back into it.

Speaker 6 (25:03):
I got a call back in thirty minutes.

Speaker 9 (25:06):
Oh my god, Oh my god.

Speaker 10 (25:07):
Wait, I have to film something too, so you really
that's my agent film. It's a commercial for some something
I haven't readish.

Speaker 9 (25:17):
I just saw that. She was like, asap, do it asap?

Speaker 6 (25:19):
See I like this. I like this already. You know
what I mean? How old are you? Might I ask too?

Speaker 9 (25:27):
I am sixty three.

Speaker 6 (25:28):
Imagine that would be crazy. Say that again night. I'm
twenty four, twenty four okay, cool, all of you take
a gander. I'm like thinking like twenty five toss twenty seven.

Speaker 9 (25:40):
Wait, are you the cancer or are you the area?

Speaker 6 (25:43):
Yeah? I am a cancer. Oh my, I know. You
just gotta love us right July first, on July twenty nine,
Oh so you're a leo.

Speaker 9 (25:53):
Oh oh, first of all, my brother is the cancer.

Speaker 6 (26:00):
He's amazing, right, Yeah that guy, Yo, I'm excited for this.
You're gorgeous. I love your drive, you know what I'm saying.
You seemed passionate too, and you're you're gorgeous in case
I didn't say that the first like hello one more
time though, absolutely drop dead gorgeous.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
Well that is all the heat we could handle this week. Folks.
Check back in next week as we meet our next
and Hourly the plays match Maker once more, and remember
to subscribe to Date My Hourly The First wherever you
get your podcasts. Date My First is a production from

WV Sound and iHeartMedia's Michael Tura podcast network, hosted by
Me vigoris joined by the fabulous Lena Montenegro. Date My
Hourly the First is produced by Leo Clemuel and Luigi
villian Weva. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama, Leo clem
and Nico Raquel at WV Sound. This episode was edited

by Sean Tracy and Nico Raguel. This episode features original
music by Gabe Lopez and Alvarro Morello. The original artwork
for this show was created by Mac McLain. Special thanks
to our team of Cupids at WV Entertainment Special Thanks
also to our hopeful romantics this week, per La, Jatan
and David. Additional thanks to Salt Inline Media. For more

podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or
wherever you listen to your favorite shows. See you next
week and in the meantime, don't do anything Alita wouldn't do.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
Just do it better, besiitless.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.


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