August 4, 2023 • 60 mins
In episode 10 of Death, Grief And Other Shit We Don't Discuss, Kyle McMahon is in Lily Dale, New York - dealing with the unflinching loss of his Mother and exploring the world of Spiritualism and the afterlife. In the midst of his labyrinth of grief, Reverend Angela Abt steps in, offering a beacon of hope in the most unexpected of ways – through spirit communications and mediumship. Together, they explore this intriguing space, journeying from the spiritualist gatherings of the 19th century to the modern digital mediums of today. They talk about the evolution of mediumship and Angie's own path of discovery and learning, from her studies in Lily Dale, New York to her work at Santosha Holistic Center.
As they navigate the tumultuous waters of grief and loss, Angela and Kyle find common ground in their shared experiences of losing loved ones, delve into the nuanced complexities of grief, acknowledging the cathartic power of vulnerability, and the importance of validating our emotions. Angela provides an enlightening perspective on how a medium can serve as a bridge to our loved ones in the afterlife.
In the final chapter of the episode, Kyle and Reverend Abt examine the world of mediumship more closely. Angela shares her reading practices, shedding light on how she guides her clients on their spiritual journeys. The episode concludes with Angela giving Kyle a powerful reading that leaves him in awe, more convinced than ever of a continuing connection with his departed mother. This conversation is not just about mediumship, but about the human experience, our connections with the departed, and the transformative power of faith and patience. Through sharing their stories, they hope to provide solace and understanding to those grappling with loss.
A. Joanne McMahon Foundation
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I'm just the fool, wayer and stranger traveling through.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
This world below.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Welcome to death, grief, and other shit we don't discuss.
I'm Kyle McMahon. Mediums, psychics, intuitives, sensitives, seers, clairvoyance, we
(00:44):
call them many things. The history of mediums and their
connection to our loved ones spans centuries and cultures, intertwining
one's spirituality, belief systems, and the human desire to communicate
with the departed. Ancient civilizations revered oracles and shamans acting
(01:08):
as intermediaries between the living and the dead. In the
nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, spiritualism gained popularity as a
movement that sought to establish contact with deceased loved ones,
and mediums played a central role in spiritualist gatherings, conducting
seances and using various techniques to channel spirits. Many claimed
(01:33):
to have the ability to hear or see the spirits
and relay their messages to those seeking solace or closure
from their loved ones. During this period, mediums often utilize
such tools as ouiji boards, automatic writing, and table tipping
to facilitate communication. These methods became widely recognized and were
(01:57):
both intriguing and controversy, attracting believers and skeptics alike to
find out what was behind this. The rise of photography
also brought forth the phenomenon of spirit photography, where individuals
(02:17):
claimed to capture images of departed loved ones alongside the living.
Over time, mediums and their practices evolved with the advancements
in technology. In the twentieth century, mediums embraced new forms
of communication such as telephone and radios to connect with
(02:38):
the spirit world, and today computers and the Internet. Some
claim to receive messages through electronic devices and that's known
as electronic voice phenomenon or EVPs, while others explored the
use of psychics and clairvoyants as mediums to bridge the
(02:59):
gap between the living and the dead. In more recent years,
the advent of the Internet and all of the digital
platforms and social media applications has given rise to an
entire new era of mediumship. Online mediums now offer virtual
(03:22):
readings and communications with loved ones through video calls, chat sessions,
and email exchanges. Social media platforms have also become spaces
where individuals seek comfort and share their experiences of connecting
with departed loved ones. But throughout history, mediums have provided
(03:44):
soulless closure and healing for individuals grieving over.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
The loss of loved ones.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
And while the legitimacy of mediumship is often debated and
heavily scrutinized, the desire to connect with department loved ones
remains a powerful aspect of the human experience all across
the world, and mediums continue to adapt and explore new
avenues for communication, offering a sense of hope and connection
(04:14):
to those seeking to transcend the boundaries between life and death.
I met Reverend Angela Apt at Fellowships of the Spirit,
a beautiful building builled as a center for spiritual development
and self discovery just right outside of the gates of Lilydale,
New York. I hadn't met Angela before, as Nate, a
(04:38):
producer with iHeart, made the contacts, and Angela had zero
idea about my background, or who I was, or why
I was even there. I was going into this blind,
and so was she. I was curious about how Reverend
apt had gotten to Lilydale in the first place, not
(05:00):
just what physically led her to this hamlet, but what
life circumstances led her to this Her true calling.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
I realized that I could connect to spirit and realized
I could connect to loved ones. When I was about
seventeen years old, were actually working at a bank, which
is not where you would have expected, right right, And
from there I ended up actually coming to lily Dale
and getting a reading with Elaine Thomas, which is where
we are now, is in her place, And I remember
(05:33):
I went for two or three readings to her, and
my friend kept telling me to tell Elaine that I
could do this too, you know, and I didn't, so
like I waited, probably about the third reading or so,
I felt like I was confessing, you know, I could
do this, and you know, and Elaine said, you know,
it's not as big a deal as you think it is.
It's actually your natural birthright. We are all connected to
(05:54):
spirit and to our loved ones. It's something we can
all do and all connected to our intuition. And then
she said, by the way, I have a school. You
could get better at it and understand more of what
you're doing if you came to my school. And and
at that time I was I had no idea there
were schools.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
I actually now come back and I teach in the school.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah, And if people may not know what what does
spirit mean exactly?
Speaker 4 (06:18):
I always feel like spirit as you're connecting to a
higher power. But you know your higher self maybe spirit
guides or loved ones on the other side. So probably,
like I'm saying spirit and it's all that.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Okay, you know, so somebody might call it God. We're
all or so many of us are talking about the
same thing no matter what we call it.
Speaker 5 (06:40):
I think so too. Yeah, higher power which is God? Agree? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
So so now, actually you own a business in Williamsville, Yes,
and tell me about that.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
It's Santosia Holistic Center, which Santosha means contentment of the body,
mind and spirit, which was sort of our intention for
the place.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
So I love that.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
I teach classes there, so I teach people how to
connect to their intuition, okay, their mediumship abilities, meditation because
I feel meditation is one of the most important things.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
And I do readings there too.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
That's awesome. When did you say, you know what, I've
got to stop doing the you know, traditional job or whatever,
and I've really got to follow this.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Yeah, I've been doing it for a long time, so
I'd say different things kind of led me but opening
up Santosia happened after my mom passed away. So my
mom passed away and I and my mother was always
somebody that said follow your dreams and don't let your
fears get in the way, like go for it. So
after she died, I heard that. You know, I just
(07:48):
kept feeling like I heard it in my head over
and over again, and I had signs all the time
that she was around.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
And I finally thought, I'm gonna do it. I'm just
gonna do it. I'm gonna open this up. I'm gonna
make this my path. I'm gonna quit my regular, my
regular job, and make this my life.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
It's amazing the gifts that I find we keep receiving
from people that have passed on that we love.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
You know, I know they're helping us. They help us
from from the other side.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I truly believe they don't.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
Really leave us.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
They leave the physical body because something goes wrong with
the physical body, but their soul one still exists.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
It's you know, it's a great intro to some of
my questions. Is in your belief? What what does death mean?
Speaker 5 (08:34):
Really?
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Like?
Speaker 4 (08:34):
You know, I feel it's our soul. You know, we're
all spirit. You know, we're all like soul in a
human body. I always feel like our body is our
vehicle that allows us to have the experiences. And so
when we die, our soul leaves, and usually it's because
something that a weakness in the body, or the body
gets ill or whatever happens, and and our soul to
(08:56):
me is still whole and still is.
Speaker 5 (08:59):
I feel like it's a veil.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
I don't know if I'm saying that, right, yeah, no, yeah,
it's it's a veil that we crossed to on the
other side. I was because I feel my mother is
here now, you know, kind of kind of egging me
along and all excited that I'm doing this, and probably
yours two right, yeah, and so but but but it
feels like they're they're right there kind of behind a
veil talking to me, and I can hear them.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
That's awesome. And is that how is it like audible?
Is it in here? It in your like mind? How
does that come across.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
In my mind?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Yeah, So it's it's telepathic communication or mind language. So
what you do when when you're talking to spirit is
you kind of learn. And we do this all the time,
Like how many times like do you get a feeling
all of a sudden somebody comes to your mind that
you haven't talked to in a long time, and then
they call you the next day, right, yeah, yeah, And
and they came to your mind because they were thinking
of you and they called you. Since that's how that happens, right,
(09:56):
It's all that's the exact same way Spirit communicates with us,
So anybody really can do it. It's about paying attention
to pictures that come into your mind or words or
even just feelings.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
And you know, it's interesting that you say that, because
my mom that would happen to her all the time.
She would say, you know, you know, I've been thinking
about X person, and then later that day that X
person would call Yeah, and she's like, I was just
saying to Kyle, you know that I haven't talked to
you in a few months, and you just popped in
(10:29):
my mind. And it's interesting how often it happened to her.
She was very in touch emotionally with people, were hard
on her sleeve. Yeah, And it's cool to hear you
say that, because it's like making me think of all
the time she said that to me, you know.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
Yeah, And probably the times it's happened to you. Or
gut feelings too. You know, anytime you're getting a gut
feeling about something, I feel like if I lived my
life according to my gut feelings, I'm always in the
right direction. Yeah, because that's also spirit communicating with us
or our loved ones.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Yeah, it's interesting, Oprah says. Life will throw you know,
a whisper at you, like, hey, you need to do this,
and then if you ignore it, it's like a pebble
you know, your way, and then eventually it's like hello.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
Loudh So you finally say, Okay, I got it, I
ret it, I'll do it.
Speaker 5 (11:16):
Mine is always slow down. You know.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
I'll see it on a billboard and then somebody will
say it, and then finally I'll go to the grocery
store and the cashier will say it and I'm like,
all right, I gotta slow down.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
You know. Yeah, it's amazing. And if we don't listen, yeah,
you know, we missed those signs that you know, it's
pretty incredible what we get.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
Yeah, you know, because sometimes we miss them. Later on
you say, I knew I shouldn't have gotten that way home,
or you know, I knew I should have you know,
trusted that person or not trusted or whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Right, Yeah, So in death, do you believe that our spirit,
the spirit of the person who has passed, lives on here?
Is it like another plane? Like? How is that? What
are you thinking?
Speaker 4 (11:59):
I always feel like another plane, you know. But but
it's right here, you know, it's not far away because
my mother, you know, I was lucky my mother talked
to me about this stuff before she crossed over because
she knew this is what I did for a living,
you know. So, but but my mother has shown me that,
you know. Yeah, I have the house I love the
(12:19):
most when I was here, you know, and I'm still
out there doing my gardening and doing like some of
the same things just right you know, right near you.
And and if you call out to me, I can
hear you, so I can call out to her. And
sometimes I do it, Hey Mom, where are you?
Speaker 5 (12:34):
With my voice? And then sometimes in my language, and
she's right here, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:39):
Like I think I think it's easier when you're there
because you don't have a physical body, so you can
move around, like, you know, you don't have to get
in a car and drive. I think they can do
it just like with thought.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Right, yeah, yeah, and I know that when I go,
I would love to come and visit my loved ones.
I always joke that I'm gonna mess with some of
my friends or loved ones, and like, you know, they'll
like walk into the bathroom and ILL have written like
on the mirror, like you know, get out. But then
(13:09):
I put like, l just kidding, you know, kidding, yeah,
just because why wouldn't I want to be.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
Yeah, you want to be Yeah, you can assist them.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
You can see things, you know here, you know, we
kind of see we have our physical eyes, so I
can see you and kind of what's around when when
you're on the other side, you get a bigger picture,
you know, so you can come back and be a
huge assistance to your loved ones. Right, I know it
because because the loved ones come to me when I'm
doing readings, you know, or having sessions with people, and
they get guidance all the time. They never come like
(13:38):
they'll come with evidence, you know, and give me proof
that it's them for sure, you know, and I'll give
it to the person. But they always have a message too,
Like my mother, you know, I could hear her saying
even now like, are.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
You kidding me? I'm definitely going to give you my
two cents on you know, so, yeah, that's what they do.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
It's awesome, it really is. I mean, and if you
are open to receiving it, you know what a gift
that is, you know, because through this with my mom,
you know, at the end, you know, her last day
she said, you know, I'm getting upset, but yeah, her
(14:17):
last day she said, whenever you need me, just talk
to me. I'm there, I promise you. And she said,
you know, I if you're having a bad day, just
talk to me. I'm right there with you. I promise
you that. And I believe that, you know, and I
believe that my mom helped my mom to understand that.
(14:43):
You know, my momm would just passed a few months.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
Before my kind of guided her over.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Probably exactly. And then my mom gave me that gift
to be able to say, you know, when you want
to talk to me, just talk and you know you
might not see me, but I'm right there in yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
And then if you talk to her, and then and
then I always tell people this, like and then just
be silent for a minute, you know, close your eyes,
and then notice what thoughts come into your mind, and
that's her talking back to you. Yeah, you know, yeah,
always yeah, yeah, ask for signs. I think that's important too,
you know, if I asked my mother for signs. I've
even said said to my mother like, that's pretty good,
(15:22):
but can you give me a better one, you know,
and I'll get something better?
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (15:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:26):
And and do you you have to give yourself the
time and space.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
To hear it, right, yes, like you mean the sign, yes, yes, yes,
because you can't you can't say I want this to
be the sign or this specific thing.
Speaker 5 (15:43):
You have to say.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
If you ask for a sign, you'll get it, but
you're right, stay open to what that's going to be.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
And okay, yeah, I love that you're one of my
mom's one.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
Here one absolutely, okay, all right, So okay, So my
mom always said that her mom came to her. She'd
see the numbers one, two, nine, and that was my
mom's address growing up. So my mother said, I'll come
to you with two five two, right, So I'll wake
up in the middle of the night and it's two
five two wow. Yeah, Or I'll find myself looking at
(16:12):
the clock and it's two five two, or I'm behind
license plates, and I keep seeing two five two. So
I said to my mom, like, that's pretty good, but
you know, I want something better.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Yeah, I want to know for sure that you're here.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
So so one night I'm sound asleep and I wake
up and I'm thinking, I'm gonna look and it's gonna
be two five two, and I look at the clock
and it's it's three oh three, you know, and I'm like,
oh no, I'm awake. I'm never gonna fall back a sleep,
Like why am I waking? You know you hate when
that happens. Yeah, right, And so I lay my head
back down to try to go back to sleep, and
(16:43):
I look like at the digital numbers three oh three,
and if you look at those kind of sideways, that's mom.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Oh wow.
Speaker 5 (16:51):
Yeah. And so and I could kind of hear my
mom and my head say, how's that?
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's pretty amazing. Yeah yeah, yeah, it's
you know, I I was telling you this story about
with the tattoo and the Facebook thing, and it's like,
you know, my mom connected to all of her friends
on Facebook, and she would post like dance she was
a dance teacher. She would post like lessons on there
and stuff like that, So it was kind of appropriate that,
(17:19):
you know, I see this, you know, Joanne liked your post.
And then it was about the freaking tattoo, which was.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
Like, oh that your mom liked it after she was
on the other side exactly.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Yeah, that's yeah, you know what I mean. It's just
there's no explanation for that. I called my dad and
I was like, were you on like Mom's phone or anything?
And he was like, no, I'm downstairs. Her phone's upstairs.
Why what's up? And I'm like, so Mom's phone is
upstairs and he's like, yeah, I've been in meetings all day.
What's going on? Like he's like, he's like, what are
you getting at? You know? Yeah? Yeah, And I'm like, uh.
Speaker 5 (17:51):
Okay, so this just happened to tell you this story.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, And he's like, wow, that's you know, pretty incredible. Yeah,
it's a.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
Sign, like they want it's energy. Somehow they do that
with energy.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
When my uncle died, his my aunt's phone was in
her purse.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
My uncle loved the phone.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
And and her, and so her phone was in her purse,
turned off her she they were leaving the hospice where
he was and her and the phone the phone's the off.
Phone started ringing and it was him.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
Oh yeah, and his phone also was in her purse
turned off.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
So yeah, it's.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
Definitely a sign.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
Like they they figure out ways that they want us
to know they love us. You know, like my mother,
you know, wants to know what's going on. You know,
there's no way she's not going to know what's going on.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Yeah, yeah, How do we connect with them? How can
somebody listening? How can I? How do you connect with
your mom or any loved ones that have passed on.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
The easiest way I would say is take a picture
of them and talk to talk to them, you know,
look at the picture.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
It's easier.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
And and mom, how are you I need some guidance
or I need some advice on this?
Speaker 5 (19:04):
Okay, and kind of make it.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
Clear and then close your eyes and just know you
have to. It's it's a telepath of communication or mind language,
and just notice what comes into your mind and you'll
get your answer.
Speaker 5 (19:16):
You know.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Okay, did that makes sense? Absolutely?
Speaker 5 (19:20):
Okay, Yeah it works.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
I actually taught that class in Lilydale last summer, and
I've taught it at Santosia as well. And it's knowing
how to connect to your loved ones on the other
side and get clear messages from them and know for
sure it's them. I love teaching it because I love
doing readings, but I love to teach it because because
you can do it for yourself.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah you know. Yeah, And where what is the class called.
Speaker 5 (19:43):
Connecting to your loved ones on the other side?
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (19:45):
Okay, ahead, I'm pretty sure that's what we call. We
call it different things.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Yeah, but it's something like that.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
No, I love that. And you know, I've always wondered, like,
you know, I'm so busy all the time, and I
want to make sure that I'm giving space to allow
her to connect with me, you know, And I didn't
know how to do that. So yeah, I love that.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Yeah, it's just I think it's it's learning how to
communicate a different way, you know, it's still communicating, but
she doesn't have a physical body, so she can't do
it with her voice.
Speaker 5 (20:18):
Yeah, you know. Yeah, so it's all in mind.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Do you think that? So all of you know, my
momm has passed, my pup up, my my other grandparents,
my mom. When we pass away, do we all reunite again?
Are we all together? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Yeah, it's so comforting to know that there's no doubt
in Angela's mine that I'll be reunited once again with
my loved ones. While I believe in my soul that
this is true, that I will be reunited once again,
the confidence of someone who was quite clearly in touch
(21:02):
with the other side feels like a warm hug from
Mom and Mo, Mom and pop up and Grandma and
Grandpa and all my other loved ones there when we returned.
Reverend App shares her own story of her mom's passing
and the similarities to my mom's passing are eerie with
both of them talking about loved ones on the other side,
(21:26):
and later you'll hear my full unedited reading from Reverend App.
As Reverend Angela Apton I discussed the afterlife our loved
(21:49):
ones and contacting the other side, I quickly realized how
many similarities our stories had, and doing this entire series,
I've been realizing how many people who have loved ones
that crossed over also have many similarities in those final moments.
Continuing the conversation on reuniting with our loved ones on
(22:12):
the other side, Reverend apt shares her own personal story.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
I was there when my mom passed and my sister
was too. My mom wanted us to be with her.
I felt like we were guiding her and she was
kind of showing us, and of course showing us in
the nine language thing that she was kind of like
stepping out of her body in a peaceful way and
into my grandmother's arms. And I was real aware of
Like we had family Italian family picnics, and she was
(22:40):
walking into one of those was a celebration, you know. Yeah, yeah,
just like when a baby is born. Here we have
that big celebration. And I feel that when somebody crosses
over what I've seen in evidence I've gotten or whatever,
is it's the same thing.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
It makes sense. And it's really funny that you say that,
because my momm You know, I was lucky enough, although
I didn't know that at the time, I was lucky
enough to be by her side and you know, her
final hours. Yeah, she passed sleepily that night, but I
was able to.
Speaker 5 (23:11):
It's an honor right that you got to be with her.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
It is I didn't feel that, you know, I got
to hold her hand and talk to her, and she
was there, but then she would like go away and
then come back. And at one point she was talking
about her mom and how she saw her standing there,
and she said something to the effect of, you know,
she's there bringing me. Yeah, and you know, we took
(23:35):
that to mean that she's bringing her on the other side.
Speaker 5 (23:39):
Yeah, I feel that they're there.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Like my mother said that too about my grandmother was
there too, and my mother kind of could see her,
you know, and I felt like my grandmother and my
grandfather and my aunt was there and just kind of waiting,
you know, until she was ready ready to go. People
go when they're ready to go, you know. Yeah, my
mother waited. They kept saying, like the hospice would come
in and they'd say, she doesn't she has no blood pressure,
(24:05):
she's going to be gone today, and then she'd keep
she kept until my brother came. You know, she waited
until my brother came.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Yeah. And it's interesting, you know, because it's very similar
to with my mom. You know, my mom really waited
until she saw my mom because my mom was sick
at that time, so it took her a little longer
to get ready and to go over there. And and
my mom was like, she doesn't have to come, blah
blah blah, and I was like, my mom, of course
(24:33):
she's going to come, and she was like, it's a
lot for you know, my mom's still in her final
hours thinking about everybody else. Yeah, that's it happens, ye
And and like my mom, of course she's coming, like
she's already getting ready, like it's not a question. And
then when my mom got there, it was like everybody
that was able, that was like in our region was
able to be there with her. And then you know, then.
Speaker 5 (24:57):
And then she was okay, and it's like, okay, she
she had to make sure everybody was okay exactly when
she saw that, then she crossed.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Yeah, and with my mom, you know, I truly believe that.
And you know, I've talked to my dad about this
and stuff that she waited until she knew that I
was going to be okay before because she knew how
tough it was going to be for me. And I
can't tell you how many people have now told me
that your mom made me promise her that I would,
(25:24):
you know, watch over you and make sure you're going
to be okay. Like then I heard somebody else say
she wanted to make sure you were going to be okay,
And I'm like okay. She was telling you know a
few people this.
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Because she loves you so much. Yea, and she still does.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
Yeah, she wants to make sure my mother called would
call up on the phone all the time and make
me write down her words of wisdom, you know, because
I want you to have this stuff after And by
the way, when your sisters and brothers are sad, then
you can pull out the notebook and you can you
can give them my words a wisdom.
Speaker 5 (25:53):
They'll feel better, that's all.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (25:55):
And it little did I know she was doing that
with all of us, right, so we have a different
word wisdom.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
That's so cool. Yeah. And then you know, then she
finally asked me. You know, that day, the day she passed,
she said, Kyle, I just need to know that you're
going to be okay. And for days, probably a week
or two, she kept asking me that are you going
to be okay? And I'm like, Mom, you're not going anywhere.
(26:21):
We're not talking about this, yeah, and I would change
the subject. And then a few days later she'd be like, Kyle,
I need to know is everything going to be okay
with you? I'm like, Mom, stop, you're not going anywhere.
I'm not having this conversation thing stop it and then
finally ended up being her last day. I'm just like,
oh my god, fine, let's talk about it, you know.
(26:43):
And I wasn't. I didn't actually say that, but I
did think myself.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
I did. I did say I love that because my
mother did the same thing.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
And even with me doing what I do, I don't
want to talk about it, ye because I don't want
to face it. And I hope that, you know, somehow
we'd have a miracle and she'd live.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:58):
I did say that, Fine, what do you want to say?
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah? I love that. So I said, you know, I
was like, you know, okay, let's talk about it. And
she said, you know, I need to know are you
going to be okay? And then you know, now she
started crying, and then I'm crying and I'm like, I
don't know how I'm going to do it, but I
(27:20):
promise you that I will find a way to get
through it. And she was like, you got to promise me.
You've got to promise you're going to be okay. And
I'm like, I promise, you know, and I said, you
know you've been you have gotten me through all of this. Oh,
you know, my entire life. You've been my rock, and
I don't know how I'm going to be Okay, I'll
(27:43):
find a way for you, you know.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
And and she needed to hear that, like you gave
her peace right and and then even though you miss her,
you're okay.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yes, yeah, I mean I don't know, okay, but yeah,
I mean, you know, there were some days, especially early on,
where I was just like, do I even want to live?
Like my mo Mom's gone? My Mom's gone? What is
the point of life? And I didn't want to die,
but I'm just like, do I want to live?
Speaker 5 (28:13):
You want to Yeah? Yeah, you don't want to go on?
You don't know what to do?
Speaker 4 (28:16):
Yeah, It's like the world goes on and everything is
so different, you know. I remember, like I put the
TV on and see a show that my mother watched,
and I think, wow, that's still on and she's not
here watching, Like how weird.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Yeah. Yeah, you know, when I would have those thoughts,
I would say, well, you promised her, you know what
I mean, Like, you don't have a choice now.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
That's why she made you promise exactly.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
And you know, I'm finding she had so much meaning
in her life and still has so much meaning to me.
But I'm trying to find meaning in her death, which
kind of on a small scale, but also on a
bigger scale. Small scale being like pancreatic cancer and you know,
so I'm working on that with the foundation and that
(29:04):
sort of thing, but on the bigger scale, I don't
want such a big heart and such a big person
and personality to just stop. And so I you know,
that's part of why I'm doing this, like I want
to know, you know, what happens.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
Her life meant something exactly right, and so yeah, and
so you're doing this to help other people? Did That's
why I opened up my center, you know, because yeah,
because my mom died and I thought, I want to
do something too. If you come to my center, right
on the shelf when you walk in, it's her picture. Yeah,
because I did it. She kind of gave me.
Speaker 5 (29:39):
The inspiration and the courage and help other people.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Yeah, And it's amazing because you know, our stories in
some ways are similar, and they both resulted in you know,
you are helping other people. And I hope that this
series will help other people because I figure, you know,
if I I went on Oprah, you know and cried
(30:03):
in front of the world, like over that whole situation
you did that. Yeah, you know I can. I can
toughen it out for my mom if it means that
that helps other people.
Speaker 4 (30:14):
Yeah, It's like what you're doing is starting the conversation,
you know about something that we did. You and I
didn't want to talk about it to our moms and
nobody wants to talk about it.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
Luckily, we had like mothers that made us talk about it, right.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
It helped us, you know, And so if we can
get other people to talk about it too, We're all
going to die.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
You know.
Speaker 4 (30:30):
It's not something that we can hide from. You know,
we're going to We're going to age and whatever's going
to happen that we're all going to die.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (30:37):
Yeah, you can't escape it.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yeah, yeah, that is I would say the one thing
that is inevitable is that all of us are going
to die.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
I know, I know, and I think that we all
try to avoid we don't want to talk about it,
but we're afraid. And that I always felt like with
me doing readings and the work that I do, that
I wanted to kind of spread that too, to let
people know it's not it isn't done.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Right, you cross.
Speaker 5 (31:00):
You know, your soul you know, is out of your
physical body. But you continue on.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
You know, you didn't learn everything that you learned in
your life for nothing, you know, it goes on.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
I love that. Yeah, And that's one thing that I
am learning is that, you know, before my mom passing,
like I just kind of thought that's the end, you know,
like you you die and then that's it. That's it.
And I even grew up Catholic, and and I really
have to do it. And I you know, I I
believe in a higher power and to and the and
(31:36):
and whether you're called heaven or whatever, I believe in
another plane of us.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
And and it is like a heaven, you know it is.
But yeah, go.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Ahead, yeah, oh no, no worries and and I you know,
all of that while I believe that, and still do
you know, it still was fine final for me because
it never really affected me. So I'm always like, oh, yeah,
you go to heaven or whatever you call it, and
that's the end of that. Yeah. But now we're talking
(32:07):
about my mo mom and then my mom and it's like, wait,
so does that mean like they're just there and I'm
here and I will never interact with them or feel
them again until that, until I die or whatever. But
what I'm learning is that no, it's not No, it's
still final.
Speaker 5 (32:26):
Still, yeah, it's not final at all.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Yeah, this journey, I'm glad that I'm going on. And
it's really rough, but I'm it is.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
I'm glad you're saying it's rough, because it is hard.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
You know.
Speaker 5 (32:37):
You do have to cry, yeah, you know, and you
do it. You have to feel it, you know.
Speaker 4 (32:40):
I told you the story earlier about my mom because
my stepfather died from the same thing as my mom,
like a year before she was diagnosed with being sick.
And I remember like going over because I hated seeing
my mom get upset and my mother was a strong one,
you know, and to see her kind of falling apart,
and you know, and I'm the oldest, and my sisters
both said, you're the oldest. You have to go talk
(33:01):
to mom, you know, and help her and get her
to a place that she's not crying all the time,
you know, let her know she's strong, you know. So
so I go over and you know, and I start
the conversation and.
Speaker 5 (33:12):
Mom, you know, you're pretty strong.
Speaker 4 (33:13):
You're gonna be okay, and you know, and trying to
get her to stop crying, and she looked at me,
you know, only as an Italian mother could, and said, yeah, Angela,
shut up right now. I don't want to hear that,
you know, she said, I want to cry, you know,
because every one of these tears is for Ron. That's
my stepdad's name, and he was worth it, you know,
(33:35):
so it's important to feel it. I think we always
try to.
Speaker 5 (33:38):
We want to.
Speaker 4 (33:39):
Like I did with my mom, I wanted to make
her feel better, you know, or like when I do
readings and somebody starts to cry, I've learned this. I
always have tissues nearby, but I don't hand him a
tissue ever. And the reason I don't is because that's
like you're saying, dry your tears, you know, and we
do that too much in our society. I think, you know,
we need to feel yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
I had a friend, very very very close friend that
knew my mom well, had been to you know, holidays
at my parents' house and stuff. And when I told
him when the funeral was, he was like, oh, I'm
not going to go. And I was like huh and
he was like, I don't do the funeral thing and
the crying and all like I can't see that, and
(34:19):
I'm like, it hurt me. But then I realized how
hurt of a person he must be to not be
able to see others cry. Let alone show your vulnerability,
because we all cry, I mean, and if you don't,
I mean, I think there's a bigger problem.
Speaker 5 (34:38):
But we're taught to. I've always heard this, like be strong. Yeah,
Like I kind of went and said that to my mom.
Speaker 4 (34:43):
I'm like ashamed in a way I even did that,
because you know, it's, yeah, you can still be strong
and cry to feel your feelings.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Of course. Yeah. And it's funny because you know, similarly
with my mom, she never thought she was strong, and
everybody that knows her, you know, it was like your
mom's so strong, blah blah blah, you know, and she
never gave herself that that acknowledgment of how strong she was.
(35:11):
And I similarly was would say, you know, I could
not stand to see her cry, and like it would
immediately make me cry. And yeah, she would say, you know,
I'm hurting from chemo or whatever, and I'll be like, well,
you know, forty eight hours there's effects go away and
we're at forty two hours, so just hold on, you're good.
(35:33):
And and you know, she was gracious enough most times, yeah,
most times to let it go. But I think sometimes
it got to her and she would say like, Kyle,
I'm I'm going to be in pain sometimes, like I
have cancer, you know, and it's not all roses. And
(35:53):
because I was always the positive, Yeah, and.
Speaker 5 (35:56):
You're trying to be positive. That's why you said all
that exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Yeah. And I'm like, oh, well, just manifest it and
blah blah blah blah blah. And the bottom line is,
you know, she's right, she has cancer, Like there's going
to be it's going to be it's not roses, you know,
and it's going to be good days, bad days exactly.
And she's allowed to have those and I should have
and she you know, I talked to her about it
(36:19):
later and she was like, of course, Kyle, I know
she understood.
Speaker 4 (36:23):
She understood because she's probably the one that taught you
to be positive, right exactly, So she got it.
Speaker 5 (36:27):
You got it.
Speaker 4 (36:28):
Yeah, Like that's interesting you say that, because when somebody's dying,
we have to let them be where they are too,
because they're dealing with whatever's going on for them.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Yeah, and it's their journey. You know. She made some
decisions on her cancer journey that I'm like, what the
f are you doing? But then, you know, talking to
my therapist, you know, my therapist was like, what are
you doing? And I'm like, I'm telling my mom that
she's not doing that, she's going to do this instead,
(36:57):
and blah blah blah. And she's like, it's not your journey.
You don't have You're not the one who has cancer.
If she wants to, you know, say to herself. And
I'm just making this up, but say to herself, I'll
give myself a year of chemo and then if it's
still progressing, I'm not doing that. It's not your call
to make. And I'm like, yeah, well it's my mom
and she's not gonna you know.
Speaker 5 (37:18):
And I did that too.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Yeah, And I really I had to realize that, like,
you know, I probably would do the same thing. I mean,
and that's not what she did. She you know, she
never gave up. That's what I was thinking, is it's
giving up. And the fact of the matter is is
it's not if I come to the terms that I
have a year to live I may not want to
live that final year getting radiation or chemo or whatever.
(37:43):
I might want to just live my life.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
Yeah, And some people choose to do it, yeahay, because
they don't want the effects from the chemo.
Speaker 5 (37:48):
And you're right.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
My mother did that too, and we were like, no,
I said it to her, No, Mom, you're not doing that,
you know. And she said the same thing. I have
to do it my way. Yeah, you know, Yeah, I remember.
I remember my mom. And my mother was a healthy eater,
like very healthy, and you know, exercised all the time.
And when she got cancer, she had my nephew go
out right away and buy her five pound backs of
(38:10):
chocolates and she put them in the closet and we're like, mom, Mom,
you can't eat sugar, like it's that good for this.
Speaker 5 (38:17):
She said, are you kidding me? I did that for
all these years. Now I'm here, I'm manat as much
candy as I want, you know.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Yeah. Yeah, And it's funny, funny with my mom. Mom,
we did the same thing. She ended up She beat
cancer three times and ended up with a I forget
what it's called, but it's basically like a degenitor degenerative
disease where your lungs crystallize. Oh, I forget what's called.
And so we were trying to keep her healthy and
(38:44):
blah blah blah blah blah. And she would always have
candy here or you know, she had a sweet tooth,
and sometimes we'd be like mo, mom, like you know,
you had ice cream for breakfast or whatever, and she's
like and and then it like gets to the point
where it's like, you know what you're like in your
mid eighties to late eighties, Like how long? How much
(39:06):
longer if we say no, you can't eat candy, Like
is it going to give her another thirty years? Like? No, like,
let her eat candy, you know.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
And my father in I remember, he was in his
eighties and I can't remember what was wrong. He had
a few few health issues and we had caregivers that
came over and helped him, and one played poker with
them health the time, and she and she'd always have
crackers and cheese and pepperoni, and everyone said he can't
have the pepperoni, you know, And I said the same thing,
like let him have the pepperoni. Yeah yeah, yeahm or
(39:34):
let him do it. But I guess, like back to
what you were saying is let people do it their way, right.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
Right, right, what's right for them. Yeah, I mean what
I want, what I wanted could have not extended her
life at all, and then she would have had to
deal with the effects of that. Yeah, Whereas you know,
if if it happened the way she wanted, whether it
gave her six months or the year that they gave her,
(40:01):
which they didn't give her a time. But I'm just saying, yeah,
theoretically she went out on her terms, and like that's
way more respectful than you know, me dictating what I
want for her life.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
But I think it's but I think it's that we're
so afraid to lose them, right, and especially because we
feel like we're losing them and maybe that's going to
be it. You're never gonna have another connection that we
we grab onto any hope. It's like this, this little
thing or this is going to be it. Or you know,
if if my mother doesn't eat the candy, that that's
going to save her life. Yeah, and I think that's
why we do that. Yeah, it's all it's all about
(40:37):
you get to like it's accepting it, right. It's like
at first everybody's in shock, you know. And then and
I think like that Elizabeth Cooper Ross on the Seven
Stages of Dying and grieving and all that, like I
think those are really true.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Yeah yeah, I still to this day it's the best book.
It is so good. And I still to this day,
I like I don't and probably none of us do
them linearly. You know, it's like I'll go to one
before you know, it's like I'm like grieving acceptance, and
then it's like no, I'm not accepting it. And then tomorrow,
you know.
Speaker 4 (41:09):
I'm man anger part of it too, like this isn't fair,
you know, and or that I'll do anything. I remember
praying like I'll do anything, just let my mom be here,
right Yeah. And then you get to accept it, you know,
because you love them and you just you don't have choice,
right yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
And you know, there came a point with her where
I just kind of had to accept that. I mean
I could see her and see she was just bones
and this is not my healthy mom that just looks
normal two months ago and I was still you know, like, yeah,
(41:48):
she's going to get better, and you know they're coming
out with different you know, something every day yeah. And
and the kind of crazy thing is that kind of
life was that in her lab like it was. It
would have been selfish of me to have her keep
holding on in the state that she was, because it
(42:11):
would have been for me. Yeah, you know, and what
she's going to be sixty five pounds for another year,
so in the hopes that there's a new treatment that
comes out or whatever. And you know, she went her way.
And that's really I mean, I think all of us
deserve that.
Speaker 5 (42:28):
We all do.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
Yeah, but that's I know what you mean, because because
I looked at my mom and thought the same thing.
But then like it's almost we're like I remember saying
to her, like at first you're saying like hold on,
hold on, you know. And I remember saying, Mom, it's okay.
If you go like, we're all going to be okay,
don't worry. I'll keep the family together. But you know
we can see that if this isn't good for you anymore, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
Right, Yeah. And I remember at one point towards the end,
because I would go over there to my parents and
I couldn't see her in pay and for long periods
of time, but I also wanted to see her, so
I would go over there and she'd just be wailing
in pain, and and then I'd have to leave, like
(43:11):
after a few minutes, and I'd be like, Mom, I
love you, you know, and then i would just go
to the car and cry. And I'm like there was
one point and I, you know, I was like to myself,
take her because this.
Speaker 5 (43:25):
Is not it's awful, because you don't want to see
him like that, you know.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
And I felt guilty about that.
Speaker 4 (43:31):
Oh, I was just going to say that because in
readings like that happened. I get that all the time
that I'll people. I'll be giving a said a daughter
reading about her mom and and I'll say, your mom
is showing me that you told her it was okay
to go, you know, and and that and that you
regret so much that you did that, because maybe if
you wouldn't have said that, she'd still be here. But
(43:51):
you know that your mom couldn't do it anymore, you know,
her body there was no quality of life for and
she was in a lot of pain. And she thanks
you so much for saying that because that allowed release
trifle like I'm saying that to you. Yeah, yeah, that
that like that, you know, that released her to go,
you know, to this other place that isn't you know,
it's a way from you physically, but it really isn't.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
You know.
Speaker 4 (44:13):
She's still with you just as much and she's out
of that physical body that wasn't good anymore.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
Yeah, you know, Yeah, it.
Speaker 5 (44:19):
Wasn't a good vehicle for her. I always feel like
it's a vehicle that allows us experiences, and she wasn't
having that anymore.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Yeah, you know, it's it's something I had to kind of,
you know that I still I forgive myself for. But
I just remember thinking those words, and I'm like, how
could I ever think that about my mom?
Speaker 5 (44:38):
I know, I remember thinking to too and thinking like
is this ever going to be over? Like and it's
it's awful.
Speaker 4 (44:43):
It was awful for all of us, you know, for
us to see her and for her and especially for
her to be in this state she was in, and
it kind of got to be it was like time
for her to cross, time for go be with my grandmother.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Yeah you know.
Speaker 5 (44:54):
Yeah. So and my stepfather too, remember that too, like
she he was in the room too.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Yeah. So yeah, So what do you from all of
the people that have spoken to you for their loved ones.
What do you think is the most common element of them?
And what I mean is like, what do you hear
that they most want to convey.
Speaker 5 (45:22):
That they still want to help them, that they love them.
You know. They they want to give as much evidence
to me as they can so that you know for
sure it's your mom, you know, and you know they
they want to know that there, they still have a presence,
they didn't just disappear. That's huge because we all worry
about that. Or like a parent that loses a child,
(45:43):
you worry so much about your kids anyway, and and
and when and when a child crosses over, you're so worried,
and the child wants to don't worry about me. Here's
what I'm doing now, you know, I'm okay.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 5 (45:55):
Yeah, I love Yeah.
Speaker 4 (45:57):
It's always so heartbreaking to do that, but it's so
good too because when somebody gets the evidence and they
get the messages, they feel better, you can they shift.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
That's awesome. Yeah, thank you so much for speaking with
me about death and dying and all the amazing work
you're doing. You are doing life changing work, So thank you.
Speaker 5 (46:17):
Thank you so much. Thanks for asking me. It was
an honor.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
The honor was mine, The honor truly is mine. Reverend
Angela App not only was gracious enough to sit down
with me and share what mediumship is to help demystify
it for me, but she was empathetic enough to share
her own story of what led her here and why
(46:42):
she's doing this and how her and I are talking today.
She's a prime example of why people from all around
the world come to Lilydale, New York in search of
answers of their own, whether it be about someone on
the other side or about their own budding sensitivity. When
(47:03):
we return, you'll hear unedited my own personal reading from
Reverend App. Does mom come through? Does anyone.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
Here for yourself? The moment of Truth?
Speaker 3 (47:27):
From the moment I met her, I immediately felt a
comfort with Reverend Angela apt a peace.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
She's both warm.
Speaker 3 (47:37):
And welcoming, and she has an energy about her that
allows you to feel safe. I knew that I was
led to her for a reason, and almost immediately upon
meeting her, I'd find out what that reason was.
Speaker 4 (47:54):
I believe that we all that we all have spirit
guides and guardian angels and our loved ones on the
other side, and when I do a reading, my guides
connect to yours.
Speaker 5 (48:03):
That's where I get my information. Okay.
Speaker 4 (48:05):
I always believe this is for healing purposes and highest
and best and guidance always.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (48:11):
So I always started out in that say prayer, okay,
and I see things, I get feelings, I get words.
Speaker 5 (48:17):
I'll give you whatever comes, Okay.
Speaker 4 (48:19):
I'll ask if it makes sense. If it doesn't, tell
me no, it's okay. I can get more information, okay, Okay,
all right, you're ready. Okay, Oh God, as we open
the door to communication in unity of the Holy Spirit,
the Great I am, presence of the universe, we give
(48:41):
thanks for we know that the words spoken are filled
with your love, truth, wisdom, and understanding of the highest
I'm in. Do you have a grandpa on the other
side that you were real close to. I feel like
a grandpa. They had a great sense of humor, because
I feel like a gentleman kind of stepping in in.
The first thing I'm seeing is is like his big smile. Okay,
(49:03):
so like a big smile and in a good sense
of humor.
Speaker 5 (49:05):
He was fun. He was almost like a big kid himself.
Do you understand I do okay, and this and is
this mom Mom's husband or this the other grandfather? Because
I felt like that's that's who it was.
Speaker 4 (49:16):
I keep feeling like like when he smiled, it's like
his smile reached his eyes and I see sparkling eyes.
Speaker 5 (49:23):
I feel like he was somebody too.
Speaker 4 (49:24):
He was a strong man too, And I feel like
it feels like you could felt like you could lean
on him, like he was somebody you could always go
to for advice. Like I want to say, like second
father is kind of what this feels like to me.
For you, okay with him, Okay, I feel like he
steps in with you a lot.
Speaker 5 (49:42):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (49:42):
I feel like he has his hand like on your shoulder,
like all the time, letting if you've ever He's proud
of you. You know, working hard was important. I feel
like he was a hard working man and he always
I see him shaking hands. I feel like a handshake
kind of man.
Speaker 5 (49:56):
Do you understand? Okay? Because I feel like you're the
same way.
Speaker 4 (50:00):
And I feel like if you say you know I'm
gonna i'm gonna do something, I'm gonna be there for somebody,
you are and you put like about one thousand percent
of yourself and anything you do. And I feel like
he was that way as well. And he's saying you
it's like you.
Speaker 5 (50:13):
Learn that from him.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 4 (50:15):
Did he cross when you were younger? Yes, Okay, it
feels like you were younger. Okay, but I feel like
he's still kind of had.
Speaker 5 (50:20):
A presence in your life always.
Speaker 4 (50:21):
All right, So he so I want to say, I
feel like he's saying, I came through first because once
the women get talking, I won't be able to get in.
Speaker 5 (50:29):
Now, Okay, so that's something say is it something? Okay?
Speaker 4 (50:32):
All right, okay, so all right, And I feel like
the whole time that we've been doing this, I feel
like my mom and your mom probably would have been friends. Yeah,
because I feel like your mom was like my mom
always pushed me and nudged me along, and I feel
like your mom's doing the same thing your mom. Your
mom is saying like there's no way, like I feel
you were the most important person to your mom in
(50:53):
her life. Like I feel like it was almost like
the two of you, like the two of us against
the world kind of thing, the two of us can
make it through.
Speaker 5 (51:02):
Like like she's saying she was the mom and.
Speaker 4 (51:04):
She supported you, but I feel like you supported her too,
Like it feels like that's just kind of the way
the connection was between the two of you. I don't
know if you believe in past lives. Okay, I believe
in that too. That's a whole other topic. But I
feel like she's showing me that the two of you
were together. I feel like in so many lives, and
you will be again. But I can hear saying as
(51:25):
I'm saying that too. She's saying, but I don't want
him to think he has to wait until like another
life for us to be together.
Speaker 5 (51:31):
I am with him all the time.
Speaker 4 (51:33):
I don't know if you have anything happened where it
feels like I keep seeing like lights flickering or lights blinking,
And I also feel I keep seeing pennies.
Speaker 5 (51:41):
I don't know if you find pennies or find coins.
Speaker 4 (51:44):
She's giving me thinks, pay attention if you don't, okay,
because I feel like you're gonna have that. I keep
seeing something lights flickering. I don't know what that's about,
but I see that too. I also am seeing I
feel like cardinals, and I feel like blue jays.
Speaker 5 (51:58):
Okay, So I'm seeing two different kind of birds.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
And both of them appear almost daily in my backyard.
Speaker 5 (52:03):
Oh all right, okay, so you understand that.
Speaker 4 (52:05):
Okay, that's good because because because I feel like she's
trying her best to figure out ways, and and I
feel like she talks to you all the time too.
Speaker 5 (52:12):
It's like she kind of comes to you in dreams.
I'm seeing that as well.
Speaker 4 (52:16):
Okay, does she and you wake up in the morning,
Because I feel like your mom was a great advice giver,
Like I feel like your mom would have been the
person if you were trying to figure out what am
I going to do next?
Speaker 5 (52:27):
Like she would have been the one.
Speaker 4 (52:28):
She was very sincere and kind, I feel like, a
very very kind heart and very very giving and very
genuine and also had a sense.
Speaker 5 (52:38):
Of humor too. And she's saying she had to have
a sense of.
Speaker 4 (52:41):
Humor because you made her laugh all the time, Like
I feel I feel that she's saying that that's that's
what you did. Like I could see you as a
little kid, like your charm get you got away with
things with your sense of humor? Okay, and your charm
does that make sense? And she okay, yeah, yeah, I'm
seeing that too. Okay, so so, but definitely I feel
that with her she was like I see giving and
(53:03):
I see sense a lot a lot of sincerity with her,
Like I feel she was the kind of person that
if you needed, really needed the shirt off for back,
she'd give it to you. And a lot of people
say that those kinds of things, but I feel like
with your mom, that's exactly who she was, one hundred percent.
She gave advice, like like I hear wise, I feel
like she was very very wise. It feels to me
(53:25):
like she was intuitive too, because I could because I
feel like the advice she gave sometimes like if you
were to ask her, it's like, where did that even
come from?
Speaker 5 (53:33):
I feel she was intuitive.
Speaker 2 (53:34):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 5 (53:35):
Yeah, very very much so.
Speaker 4 (53:37):
I don't even know if you thought of it as intuition,
like back then as you would now kind of looking
back at it. Okay, I feel definitely Grandma or mo
mo mom you call her, Okay, I feel like her
stepping into I feel like she liked having the mom
mom because it.
Speaker 5 (53:53):
Was like, yes, two moms or something.
Speaker 4 (53:55):
Like almost like that made her more important, you know,
and she's kind of laughing about that too. I feel
like an e. Is he going miss with her too?
Did somebody drink tea or coffee or something?
Speaker 2 (54:05):
Was that her? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (54:07):
It's like I saw those tea cups with the China
tea cups with the saucer. I don't know if she yes, Okay, yeah,
does somebody have those?
Speaker 2 (54:15):
I do?
Speaker 4 (54:16):
Okay, good because because because I feel that she's saying
you should.
Speaker 5 (54:20):
Drink tea out of those, because I don't feel like
you do.
Speaker 2 (54:23):
I don't even know.
Speaker 4 (54:23):
If you drink tea, okay, but but I feel like
it's whatever you drink, drink, drink it out of those
once in a while, because because you'll have her energy
with you when you do. Because I feel she was
just as important to you as your mom.
Speaker 2 (54:35):
Yeah, I mean we her and I had a.
Speaker 4 (54:38):
Best friends, best friends, Like I can hear her saying
I was like a second mom to him. But we
were best friends and we had fun together, like you know,
we we did things together. We had fun, like I
could see almost the two of you almost like missed
mischievous together. I don't know, it feels like that and
kind of laughing together and and like let's go do
this or let's go sneak and do that. Okay, I
(54:59):
feel well. So I feel like they they all three
of them want you to know. And Grandpa two, like,
I feel like they all want you to know. You
didn't call them Grandpa, popa papa. Okay he said, he said,
I said, Grandpy said, that's not what he called me.
Speaker 5 (55:10):
I heard him say that.
Speaker 4 (55:11):
Okay, so so, But but I feel like they're showing
me that you're on the right path. Okay, I feel like,
definitely on the right path in your life. And it
feels to me that as you're doing that, okay, Like
I feel like business wise, I see doors opening, but
I feel personally too, okay, like I don't know, I
feel like question marks around your head, like you question
(55:33):
everything and you're always wondering about everything. And so I
feel like they're saying, just just keep on going and
don't worry and don't feel like you have to push yourself.
Just kind of go with the flow and let things
fall into place and they will all right, Like.
Speaker 5 (55:47):
Almost like I could.
Speaker 4 (55:48):
I feel like I'm hearing they're saying, not that we
were good at this, but be patient, just be patient.
It will all come like at the exact.
Speaker 3 (55:57):
Time, whether you choose to believe in mediumship or not.
There are numerous and specific things that Angela said to
me that are impossible for her to have known. We
had never met each other before. This reading was the
first time that I had ever even spoken to her.
(56:20):
I had never even been in Lilydale before, and there
was no fishing on her part. There was no googling
me beforehand, and we did that on purpose, with Nate
reaching out to the various guests from the reading that
Reverend n Appt gave me. There are concrete examples of
things that she knew, and I have no scientific explanation
(56:43):
to explain how she knew them. Do I think Angela
was in touch with Mom and subsequently my Mom and
pop Up.
Speaker 2 (56:52):
I truly, truly do.
Speaker 3 (56:56):
I went into Lilydale, New York, ready to explain away
anything that may have happened. My goal in coming here,
as it has been with this entire series, is to
explore the various aspects of death and grief and belief
systems and the afterlife. What I didn't expect was to
be totally floored by what I feel here in Lilydale.
(57:20):
This undeniable energy, this feeling. I can't even describe it.
I didn't expect to feel Mom in the room with
me as I got my reading from Reverend Apt. I
didn't expect to hear words that she had literally said
to me, word for word, coming out of the Reverend's lips.
(57:43):
None of it, to me, is explainable by conventional science.
My time in Lilydale with Reverend Apt and with Tom
have convinced me that there is certainly something to mediumship.
I imagine it to like how some people are exceptional
at music while most others aren't. Maybe some people have
(58:07):
the gift of sensitivity to be able to hear those
on the other side and most others aren't. I certainly
believe that now more than I ever have, And if
anyone in history would be there to make contact with me,
would do anything in their power to give me signs
(58:28):
that they're there, it'd be Mom, and that, in my mind,
there is no question she did. Next time, on death,
(58:48):
grief and other shit we don't discuss, I discuss the
first year after Mom passed. What has it been like
navigating these uncharted waters? How have I gotten through and
how I have it? Plus I speak with doctor Catherine
Sheer of Columbia University's Center for Complicated Grief, about what
(59:10):
complicated grief is, how we can navigate out of it,
and so much more. I'm going.
Speaker 2 (59:23):
To see Umber, she said.
Speaker 1 (59:29):
She me me when I come.
Speaker 2 (59:38):
Just goo for Jordia'm just school were over Angel the
school wove do it? Am just cool. Windows over
I'm just the fool, wayer and stranger traveling through.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
This world below.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Welcome to death, grief, and other shit we don't discuss.
I'm Kyle McMahon. Mediums, psychics, intuitives, sensitives, seers, clairvoyance, we
(00:44):
call them many things. The history of mediums and their
connection to our loved ones spans centuries and cultures, intertwining
one's spirituality, belief systems, and the human desire to communicate
with the departed. Ancient civilizations revered oracles and shamans acting
(01:08):
as intermediaries between the living and the dead. In the
nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, spiritualism gained popularity as a
movement that sought to establish contact with deceased loved ones,
and mediums played a central role in spiritualist gatherings, conducting
seances and using various techniques to channel spirits. Many claimed
(01:33):
to have the ability to hear or see the spirits
and relay their messages to those seeking solace or closure
from their loved ones. During this period, mediums often utilize
such tools as ouiji boards, automatic writing, and table tipping
to facilitate communication. These methods became widely recognized and were
(01:57):
both intriguing and controversy, attracting believers and skeptics alike to
find out what was behind this. The rise of photography
also brought forth the phenomenon of spirit photography, where individuals
(02:17):
claimed to capture images of departed loved ones alongside the living.
Over time, mediums and their practices evolved with the advancements
in technology. In the twentieth century, mediums embraced new forms
of communication such as telephone and radios to connect with
(02:38):
the spirit world, and today computers and the Internet. Some
claim to receive messages through electronic devices and that's known
as electronic voice phenomenon or EVPs, while others explored the
use of psychics and clairvoyants as mediums to bridge the
(02:59):
gap between the living and the dead. In more recent years,
the advent of the Internet and all of the digital
platforms and social media applications has given rise to an
entire new era of mediumship. Online mediums now offer virtual
(03:22):
readings and communications with loved ones through video calls, chat sessions,
and email exchanges. Social media platforms have also become spaces
where individuals seek comfort and share their experiences of connecting
with departed loved ones. But throughout history, mediums have provided
(03:44):
soulless closure and healing for individuals grieving over.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
The loss of loved ones.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
And while the legitimacy of mediumship is often debated and
heavily scrutinized, the desire to connect with department loved ones
remains a powerful aspect of the human experience all across
the world, and mediums continue to adapt and explore new
avenues for communication, offering a sense of hope and connection
(04:14):
to those seeking to transcend the boundaries between life and death.
I met Reverend Angela Apt at Fellowships of the Spirit,
a beautiful building builled as a center for spiritual development
and self discovery just right outside of the gates of Lilydale,
New York. I hadn't met Angela before, as Nate, a
(04:38):
producer with iHeart, made the contacts, and Angela had zero
idea about my background, or who I was, or why
I was even there. I was going into this blind,
and so was she. I was curious about how Reverend
apt had gotten to Lilydale in the first place, not
(05:00):
just what physically led her to this hamlet, but what
life circumstances led her to this Her true calling.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
I realized that I could connect to spirit and realized
I could connect to loved ones. When I was about
seventeen years old, were actually working at a bank, which
is not where you would have expected, right right, And
from there I ended up actually coming to lily Dale
and getting a reading with Elaine Thomas, which is where
we are now, is in her place, And I remember
(05:33):
I went for two or three readings to her, and
my friend kept telling me to tell Elaine that I
could do this too, you know, and I didn't, so
like I waited, probably about the third reading or so,
I felt like I was confessing, you know, I could
do this, and you know, and Elaine said, you know,
it's not as big a deal as you think it is.
It's actually your natural birthright. We are all connected to
(05:54):
spirit and to our loved ones. It's something we can
all do and all connected to our intuition. And then
she said, by the way, I have a school. You
could get better at it and understand more of what
you're doing if you came to my school. And and
at that time I was I had no idea there
were schools.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
I actually now come back and I teach in the school.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah, And if people may not know what what does
spirit mean exactly?
Speaker 4 (06:18):
I always feel like spirit as you're connecting to a
higher power. But you know your higher self maybe spirit
guides or loved ones on the other side. So probably,
like I'm saying spirit and it's all that.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Okay, you know, so somebody might call it God. We're
all or so many of us are talking about the
same thing no matter what we call it.
Speaker 5 (06:40):
I think so too. Yeah, higher power which is God? Agree? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
So so now, actually you own a business in Williamsville, Yes,
and tell me about that.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
It's Santosia Holistic Center, which Santosha means contentment of the body,
mind and spirit, which was sort of our intention for
the place.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
So I love that.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
I teach classes there, so I teach people how to
connect to their intuition, okay, their mediumship abilities, meditation because
I feel meditation is one of the most important things.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
And I do readings there too.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
That's awesome. When did you say, you know what, I've
got to stop doing the you know, traditional job or whatever,
and I've really got to follow this.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Yeah, I've been doing it for a long time, so
I'd say different things kind of led me but opening
up Santosia happened after my mom passed away. So my
mom passed away and I and my mother was always
somebody that said follow your dreams and don't let your
fears get in the way, like go for it. So
after she died, I heard that. You know, I just
(07:48):
kept feeling like I heard it in my head over
and over again, and I had signs all the time
that she was around.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
And I finally thought, I'm gonna do it. I'm just
gonna do it. I'm gonna open this up. I'm gonna
make this my path. I'm gonna quit my regular, my
regular job, and make this my life.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
It's amazing the gifts that I find we keep receiving
from people that have passed on that we love.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
You know, I know they're helping us. They help us
from from the other side.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I truly believe they don't.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
Really leave us.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
They leave the physical body because something goes wrong with
the physical body, but their soul one still exists.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
It's you know, it's a great intro to some of
my questions. Is in your belief? What what does death mean?
Speaker 5 (08:34):
Really?
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Like?
Speaker 4 (08:34):
You know, I feel it's our soul. You know, we're
all spirit. You know, we're all like soul in a
human body. I always feel like our body is our
vehicle that allows us to have the experiences. And so
when we die, our soul leaves, and usually it's because
something that a weakness in the body, or the body
gets ill or whatever happens, and and our soul to
(08:56):
me is still whole and still is.
Speaker 5 (08:59):
I feel like it's a veil.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
I don't know if I'm saying that, right, yeah, no, yeah,
it's it's a veil that we crossed to on the
other side. I was because I feel my mother is
here now, you know, kind of kind of egging me
along and all excited that I'm doing this, and probably
yours two right, yeah, and so but but but it
feels like they're they're right there kind of behind a
veil talking to me, and I can hear them.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
That's awesome. And is that how is it like audible?
Is it in here? It in your like mind? How
does that come across.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
In my mind?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Yeah, So it's it's telepathic communication or mind language. So
what you do when when you're talking to spirit is
you kind of learn. And we do this all the time,
Like how many times like do you get a feeling
all of a sudden somebody comes to your mind that
you haven't talked to in a long time, and then
they call you the next day, right, yeah, yeah, And
and they came to your mind because they were thinking
of you and they called you. Since that's how that happens, right,
(09:56):
It's all that's the exact same way Spirit communicates with us,
So anybody really can do it. It's about paying attention
to pictures that come into your mind or words or
even just feelings.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
And you know, it's interesting that you say that, because
my mom that would happen to her all the time.
She would say, you know, you know, I've been thinking
about X person, and then later that day that X
person would call Yeah, and she's like, I was just
saying to Kyle, you know that I haven't talked to
you in a few months, and you just popped in
(10:29):
my mind. And it's interesting how often it happened to her.
She was very in touch emotionally with people, were hard
on her sleeve. Yeah, And it's cool to hear you
say that, because it's like making me think of all
the time she said that to me, you know.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
Yeah, And probably the times it's happened to you. Or
gut feelings too. You know, anytime you're getting a gut
feeling about something, I feel like if I lived my
life according to my gut feelings, I'm always in the
right direction. Yeah, because that's also spirit communicating with us
or our loved ones.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Yeah, it's interesting, Oprah says. Life will throw you know,
a whisper at you, like, hey, you need to do this,
and then if you ignore it, it's like a pebble
you know, your way, and then eventually it's like hello.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
Loudh So you finally say, Okay, I got it, I
ret it, I'll do it.
Speaker 5 (11:16):
Mine is always slow down. You know.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
I'll see it on a billboard and then somebody will
say it, and then finally I'll go to the grocery
store and the cashier will say it and I'm like,
all right, I gotta slow down.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
You know. Yeah, it's amazing. And if we don't listen, yeah,
you know, we missed those signs that you know, it's
pretty incredible what we get.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
Yeah, you know, because sometimes we miss them. Later on
you say, I knew I shouldn't have gotten that way home,
or you know, I knew I should have you know,
trusted that person or not trusted or whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Right, Yeah, So in death, do you believe that our spirit,
the spirit of the person who has passed, lives on here?
Is it like another plane? Like? How is that? What
are you thinking?
Speaker 4 (11:59):
I always feel like another plane, you know. But but
it's right here, you know, it's not far away because
my mother, you know, I was lucky my mother talked
to me about this stuff before she crossed over because
she knew this is what I did for a living,
you know. So, but but my mother has shown me that,
you know. Yeah, I have the house I love the
(12:19):
most when I was here, you know, and I'm still
out there doing my gardening and doing like some of
the same things just right you know, right near you.
And and if you call out to me, I can
hear you, so I can call out to her. And
sometimes I do it, Hey Mom, where are you?
Speaker 5 (12:34):
With my voice? And then sometimes in my language, and
she's right here, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:39):
Like I think I think it's easier when you're there
because you don't have a physical body, so you can
move around, like, you know, you don't have to get
in a car and drive. I think they can do
it just like with thought.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Right, yeah, yeah, and I know that when I go,
I would love to come and visit my loved ones.
I always joke that I'm gonna mess with some of
my friends or loved ones, and like, you know, they'll
like walk into the bathroom and ILL have written like
on the mirror, like you know, get out. But then
(13:09):
I put like, l just kidding, you know, kidding, yeah,
just because why wouldn't I want to be.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
Yeah, you want to be Yeah, you can assist them.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
You can see things, you know here, you know, we
kind of see we have our physical eyes, so I
can see you and kind of what's around when when
you're on the other side, you get a bigger picture,
you know, so you can come back and be a
huge assistance to your loved ones. Right, I know it
because because the loved ones come to me when I'm
doing readings, you know, or having sessions with people, and
they get guidance all the time. They never come like
(13:38):
they'll come with evidence, you know, and give me proof
that it's them for sure, you know, and I'll give
it to the person. But they always have a message too,
Like my mother, you know, I could hear her saying
even now like, are.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
You kidding me? I'm definitely going to give you my
two cents on you know, so, yeah, that's what they do.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
It's awesome, it really is. I mean, and if you
are open to receiving it, you know what a gift
that is, you know, because through this with my mom,
you know, at the end, you know, her last day
she said, you know, I'm getting upset, but yeah, her
(14:17):
last day she said, whenever you need me, just talk
to me. I'm there, I promise you. And she said,
you know, I if you're having a bad day, just
talk to me. I'm right there with you. I promise
you that. And I believe that, you know, and I
believe that my mom helped my mom to understand that.
(14:43):
You know, my momm would just passed a few months.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
Before my kind of guided her over.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Probably exactly. And then my mom gave me that gift
to be able to say, you know, when you want
to talk to me, just talk and you know you
might not see me, but I'm right there in yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
And then if you talk to her, and then and
then I always tell people this, like and then just
be silent for a minute, you know, close your eyes,
and then notice what thoughts come into your mind, and
that's her talking back to you. Yeah, you know, yeah,
always yeah, yeah, ask for signs. I think that's important too,
you know, if I asked my mother for signs. I've
even said said to my mother like, that's pretty good,
(15:22):
but can you give me a better one, you know,
and I'll get something better?
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (15:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:26):
And and do you you have to give yourself the
time and space.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
To hear it, right, yes, like you mean the sign, yes, yes, yes,
because you can't you can't say I want this to
be the sign or this specific thing.
Speaker 5 (15:43):
You have to say.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
If you ask for a sign, you'll get it, but
you're right, stay open to what that's going to be.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
And okay, yeah, I love that you're one of my
mom's one.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
Here one absolutely, okay, all right, So okay, So my
mom always said that her mom came to her. She'd
see the numbers one, two, nine, and that was my
mom's address growing up. So my mother said, I'll come
to you with two five two, right, So I'll wake
up in the middle of the night and it's two
five two wow. Yeah, Or I'll find myself looking at
(16:12):
the clock and it's two five two, or I'm behind
license plates, and I keep seeing two five two. So
I said to my mom, like, that's pretty good, but
you know, I want something better.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Yeah, I want to know for sure that you're here.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
So so one night I'm sound asleep and I wake
up and I'm thinking, I'm gonna look and it's gonna
be two five two, and I look at the clock
and it's it's three oh three, you know, and I'm like,
oh no, I'm awake. I'm never gonna fall back a sleep,
Like why am I waking? You know you hate when
that happens. Yeah, right, And so I lay my head
back down to try to go back to sleep, and
(16:43):
I look like at the digital numbers three oh three,
and if you look at those kind of sideways, that's mom.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Oh wow.
Speaker 5 (16:51):
Yeah. And so and I could kind of hear my
mom and my head say, how's that?
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's pretty amazing. Yeah yeah, yeah, it's
you know, I I was telling you this story about
with the tattoo and the Facebook thing, and it's like,
you know, my mom connected to all of her friends
on Facebook, and she would post like dance she was
a dance teacher. She would post like lessons on there
and stuff like that, So it was kind of appropriate that,
(17:19):
you know, I see this, you know, Joanne liked your post.
And then it was about the freaking tattoo, which was.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
Like, oh that your mom liked it after she was
on the other side exactly.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Yeah, that's yeah, you know what I mean. It's just
there's no explanation for that. I called my dad and
I was like, were you on like Mom's phone or anything?
And he was like, no, I'm downstairs. Her phone's upstairs.
Why what's up? And I'm like, so Mom's phone is
upstairs and he's like, yeah, I've been in meetings all day.
What's going on? Like he's like, he's like, what are
you getting at? You know? Yeah? Yeah, And I'm like, uh.
Speaker 5 (17:51):
Okay, so this just happened to tell you this story.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, And he's like, wow, that's you know, pretty incredible. Yeah,
it's a.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
Sign, like they want it's energy. Somehow they do that
with energy.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
When my uncle died, his my aunt's phone was in
her purse.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
My uncle loved the phone.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
And and her, and so her phone was in her purse,
turned off her she they were leaving the hospice where
he was and her and the phone the phone's the off.
Phone started ringing and it was him.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
Oh yeah, and his phone also was in her purse
turned off.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
So yeah, it's.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
Definitely a sign.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
Like they they figure out ways that they want us
to know they love us. You know, like my mother,
you know, wants to know what's going on. You know,
there's no way she's not going to know what's going on.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Yeah, yeah, How do we connect with them? How can
somebody listening? How can I? How do you connect with
your mom or any loved ones that have passed on.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
The easiest way I would say is take a picture
of them and talk to talk to them, you know,
look at the picture.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
It's easier.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
And and mom, how are you I need some guidance
or I need some advice on this?
Speaker 5 (19:04):
Okay, and kind of make it.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
Clear and then close your eyes and just know you
have to. It's it's a telepath of communication or mind language,
and just notice what comes into your mind and you'll
get your answer.
Speaker 5 (19:16):
You know.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Okay, did that makes sense? Absolutely?
Speaker 5 (19:20):
Okay, Yeah it works.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
I actually taught that class in Lilydale last summer, and
I've taught it at Santosia as well. And it's knowing
how to connect to your loved ones on the other
side and get clear messages from them and know for
sure it's them. I love teaching it because I love
doing readings, but I love to teach it because because
you can do it for yourself.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah you know. Yeah, And where what is the class called.
Speaker 5 (19:43):
Connecting to your loved ones on the other side?
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (19:45):
Okay, ahead, I'm pretty sure that's what we call. We
call it different things.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Yeah, but it's something like that.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
No, I love that. And you know, I've always wondered, like,
you know, I'm so busy all the time, and I
want to make sure that I'm giving space to allow
her to connect with me, you know, And I didn't
know how to do that. So yeah, I love that.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Yeah, it's just I think it's it's learning how to
communicate a different way, you know, it's still communicating, but
she doesn't have a physical body, so she can't do
it with her voice.
Speaker 5 (20:18):
Yeah, you know. Yeah, so it's all in mind.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Do you think that? So all of you know, my
momm has passed, my pup up, my my other grandparents,
my mom. When we pass away, do we all reunite again?
Are we all together? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Yeah, it's so comforting to know that there's no doubt
in Angela's mine that I'll be reunited once again with
my loved ones. While I believe in my soul that
this is true, that I will be reunited once again,
the confidence of someone who was quite clearly in touch
(21:02):
with the other side feels like a warm hug from
Mom and Mo, Mom and pop up and Grandma and
Grandpa and all my other loved ones there when we returned.
Reverend App shares her own story of her mom's passing
and the similarities to my mom's passing are eerie with
both of them talking about loved ones on the other side,
(21:26):
and later you'll hear my full unedited reading from Reverend App.
As Reverend Angela Apton I discussed the afterlife our loved
(21:49):
ones and contacting the other side, I quickly realized how
many similarities our stories had, and doing this entire series,
I've been realizing how many people who have loved ones
that crossed over also have many similarities in those final moments.
Continuing the conversation on reuniting with our loved ones on
(22:12):
the other side, Reverend apt shares her own personal story.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
I was there when my mom passed and my sister
was too. My mom wanted us to be with her.
I felt like we were guiding her and she was
kind of showing us, and of course showing us in
the nine language thing that she was kind of like
stepping out of her body in a peaceful way and
into my grandmother's arms. And I was real aware of
Like we had family Italian family picnics, and she was
(22:40):
walking into one of those was a celebration, you know. Yeah, yeah,
just like when a baby is born. Here we have
that big celebration. And I feel that when somebody crosses
over what I've seen in evidence I've gotten or whatever,
is it's the same thing.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
It makes sense. And it's really funny that you say that,
because my momm You know, I was lucky enough, although
I didn't know that at the time, I was lucky
enough to be by her side and you know, her
final hours. Yeah, she passed sleepily that night, but I
was able to.
Speaker 5 (23:11):
It's an honor right that you got to be with her.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
It is I didn't feel that, you know, I got
to hold her hand and talk to her, and she
was there, but then she would like go away and
then come back. And at one point she was talking
about her mom and how she saw her standing there,
and she said something to the effect of, you know,
she's there bringing me. Yeah, and you know, we took
(23:35):
that to mean that she's bringing her on the other side.
Speaker 5 (23:39):
Yeah, I feel that they're there.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Like my mother said that too about my grandmother was
there too, and my mother kind of could see her,
you know, and I felt like my grandmother and my
grandfather and my aunt was there and just kind of waiting,
you know, until she was ready ready to go. People
go when they're ready to go, you know. Yeah, my
mother waited. They kept saying, like the hospice would come
in and they'd say, she doesn't she has no blood pressure,
(24:05):
she's going to be gone today, and then she'd keep
she kept until my brother came. You know, she waited
until my brother came.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Yeah. And it's interesting, you know, because it's very similar
to with my mom. You know, my mom really waited
until she saw my mom because my mom was sick
at that time, so it took her a little longer
to get ready and to go over there. And and
my mom was like, she doesn't have to come, blah
blah blah, and I was like, my mom, of course
(24:33):
she's going to come, and she was like, it's a
lot for you know, my mom's still in her final
hours thinking about everybody else. Yeah, that's it happens, ye
And and like my mom, of course she's coming, like
she's already getting ready, like it's not a question. And
then when my mom got there, it was like everybody
that was able, that was like in our region was
able to be there with her. And then you know, then.
Speaker 5 (24:57):
And then she was okay, and it's like, okay, she
she had to make sure everybody was okay exactly when
she saw that, then she crossed.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Yeah, and with my mom, you know, I truly believe that.
And you know, I've talked to my dad about this
and stuff that she waited until she knew that I
was going to be okay before because she knew how
tough it was going to be for me. And I
can't tell you how many people have now told me
that your mom made me promise her that I would,
(25:24):
you know, watch over you and make sure you're going
to be okay. Like then I heard somebody else say
she wanted to make sure you were going to be okay,
And I'm like okay. She was telling you know a
few people this.
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Because she loves you so much. Yea, and she still does.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
Yeah, she wants to make sure my mother called would
call up on the phone all the time and make
me write down her words of wisdom, you know, because
I want you to have this stuff after And by
the way, when your sisters and brothers are sad, then
you can pull out the notebook and you can you
can give them my words a wisdom.
Speaker 5 (25:53):
They'll feel better, that's all.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (25:55):
And it little did I know she was doing that
with all of us, right, so we have a different
word wisdom.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
That's so cool. Yeah. And then you know, then she
finally asked me. You know, that day, the day she passed,
she said, Kyle, I just need to know that you're
going to be okay. And for days, probably a week
or two, she kept asking me that are you going
to be okay? And I'm like, Mom, you're not going anywhere.
(26:21):
We're not talking about this, yeah, and I would change
the subject. And then a few days later she'd be like, Kyle,
I need to know is everything going to be okay
with you? I'm like, Mom, stop, you're not going anywhere.
I'm not having this conversation thing stop it and then
finally ended up being her last day. I'm just like,
oh my god, fine, let's talk about it, you know.
(26:43):
And I wasn't. I didn't actually say that, but I
did think myself.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
I did. I did say I love that because my
mother did the same thing.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
And even with me doing what I do, I don't
want to talk about it, ye because I don't want
to face it. And I hope that, you know, somehow
we'd have a miracle and she'd live.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:58):
I did say that, Fine, what do you want to say?
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah? I love that. So I said, you know, I
was like, you know, okay, let's talk about it. And
she said, you know, I need to know are you
going to be okay? And then you know, now she
started crying, and then I'm crying and I'm like, I
don't know how I'm going to do it, but I
(27:20):
promise you that I will find a way to get
through it. And she was like, you got to promise me.
You've got to promise you're going to be okay. And
I'm like, I promise, you know, and I said, you
know you've been you have gotten me through all of this. Oh,
you know, my entire life. You've been my rock, and
I don't know how I'm going to be Okay, I'll
(27:43):
find a way for you, you know.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
And and she needed to hear that, like you gave
her peace right and and then even though you miss her,
you're okay.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yes, yeah, I mean I don't know, okay, but yeah,
I mean, you know, there were some days, especially early on,
where I was just like, do I even want to live?
Like my mo Mom's gone? My Mom's gone? What is
the point of life? And I didn't want to die,
but I'm just like, do I want to live?
Speaker 5 (28:13):
You want to Yeah? Yeah, you don't want to go on?
You don't know what to do?
Speaker 4 (28:16):
Yeah, It's like the world goes on and everything is
so different, you know. I remember, like I put the
TV on and see a show that my mother watched,
and I think, wow, that's still on and she's not
here watching, Like how weird.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Yeah. Yeah, you know, when I would have those thoughts,
I would say, well, you promised her, you know what
I mean, Like, you don't have a choice now.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
That's why she made you promise exactly.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
And you know, I'm finding she had so much meaning
in her life and still has so much meaning to me.
But I'm trying to find meaning in her death, which
kind of on a small scale, but also on a
bigger scale. Small scale being like pancreatic cancer and you know,
so I'm working on that with the foundation and that
(29:04):
sort of thing, but on the bigger scale, I don't
want such a big heart and such a big person
and personality to just stop. And so I you know,
that's part of why I'm doing this, like I want
to know, you know, what happens.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
Her life meant something exactly right, and so yeah, and
so you're doing this to help other people? Did That's
why I opened up my center, you know, because yeah,
because my mom died and I thought, I want to
do something too. If you come to my center, right
on the shelf when you walk in, it's her picture. Yeah,
because I did it. She kind of gave me.
Speaker 5 (29:39):
The inspiration and the courage and help other people.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Yeah, And it's amazing because you know, our stories in
some ways are similar, and they both resulted in you know,
you are helping other people. And I hope that this
series will help other people because I figure, you know,
if I I went on Oprah, you know and cried
(30:03):
in front of the world, like over that whole situation
you did that. Yeah, you know I can. I can
toughen it out for my mom if it means that
that helps other people.
Speaker 4 (30:14):
Yeah, It's like what you're doing is starting the conversation,
you know about something that we did. You and I
didn't want to talk about it to our moms and
nobody wants to talk about it.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
Luckily, we had like mothers that made us talk about it, right.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
It helped us, you know, And so if we can
get other people to talk about it too, We're all
going to die.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
You know.
Speaker 4 (30:30):
It's not something that we can hide from. You know,
we're going to We're going to age and whatever's going
to happen that we're all going to die.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (30:37):
Yeah, you can't escape it.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yeah, yeah, that is I would say the one thing
that is inevitable is that all of us are going
to die.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
I know, I know, and I think that we all
try to avoid we don't want to talk about it,
but we're afraid. And that I always felt like with
me doing readings and the work that I do, that
I wanted to kind of spread that too, to let
people know it's not it isn't done.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Right, you cross.
Speaker 5 (31:00):
You know, your soul you know, is out of your
physical body. But you continue on.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
You know, you didn't learn everything that you learned in
your life for nothing, you know, it goes on.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
I love that. Yeah, And that's one thing that I
am learning is that, you know, before my mom passing,
like I just kind of thought that's the end, you know,
like you you die and then that's it. That's it.
And I even grew up Catholic, and and I really
have to do it. And I you know, I I
believe in a higher power and to and the and
(31:36):
and whether you're called heaven or whatever, I believe in
another plane of us.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
And and it is like a heaven, you know it is.
But yeah, go.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Ahead, yeah, oh no, no worries and and I you know,
all of that while I believe that, and still do
you know, it still was fine final for me because
it never really affected me. So I'm always like, oh, yeah,
you go to heaven or whatever you call it, and
that's the end of that. Yeah. But now we're talking
(32:07):
about my mo mom and then my mom and it's like, wait,
so does that mean like they're just there and I'm
here and I will never interact with them or feel
them again until that, until I die or whatever. But
what I'm learning is that no, it's not No, it's
still final.
Speaker 5 (32:26):
Still, yeah, it's not final at all.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Yeah, this journey, I'm glad that I'm going on. And
it's really rough, but I'm it is.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
I'm glad you're saying it's rough, because it is hard.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
You know.
Speaker 5 (32:37):
You do have to cry, yeah, you know, and you
do it. You have to feel it, you know.
Speaker 4 (32:40):
I told you the story earlier about my mom because
my stepfather died from the same thing as my mom,
like a year before she was diagnosed with being sick.
And I remember like going over because I hated seeing
my mom get upset and my mother was a strong one,
you know, and to see her kind of falling apart,
and you know, and I'm the oldest, and my sisters
both said, you're the oldest. You have to go talk
(33:01):
to mom, you know, and help her and get her
to a place that she's not crying all the time,
you know, let her know she's strong, you know. So
so I go over and you know, and I start
the conversation and.
Speaker 5 (33:12):
Mom, you know, you're pretty strong.
Speaker 4 (33:13):
You're gonna be okay, and you know, and trying to
get her to stop crying, and she looked at me,
you know, only as an Italian mother could, and said, yeah, Angela,
shut up right now. I don't want to hear that,
you know, she said, I want to cry, you know,
because every one of these tears is for Ron. That's
my stepdad's name, and he was worth it, you know,
(33:35):
so it's important to feel it. I think we always
try to.
Speaker 5 (33:38):
We want to.
Speaker 4 (33:39):
Like I did with my mom, I wanted to make
her feel better, you know, or like when I do
readings and somebody starts to cry, I've learned this. I
always have tissues nearby, but I don't hand him a
tissue ever. And the reason I don't is because that's
like you're saying, dry your tears, you know, and we
do that too much in our society. I think, you know,
we need to feel yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
I had a friend, very very very close friend that
knew my mom well, had been to you know, holidays
at my parents' house and stuff. And when I told
him when the funeral was, he was like, oh, I'm
not going to go. And I was like huh and
he was like, I don't do the funeral thing and
the crying and all like I can't see that, and
(34:19):
I'm like, it hurt me. But then I realized how
hurt of a person he must be to not be
able to see others cry. Let alone show your vulnerability,
because we all cry, I mean, and if you don't,
I mean, I think there's a bigger problem.
Speaker 5 (34:38):
But we're taught to. I've always heard this, like be strong. Yeah,
Like I kind of went and said that to my mom.
Speaker 4 (34:43):
I'm like ashamed in a way I even did that,
because you know, it's, yeah, you can still be strong
and cry to feel your feelings.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Of course. Yeah. And it's funny because you know, similarly
with my mom, she never thought she was strong, and
everybody that knows her, you know, it was like your
mom's so strong, blah blah blah, you know, and she
never gave herself that that acknowledgment of how strong she was.
(35:11):
And I similarly was would say, you know, I could
not stand to see her cry, and like it would
immediately make me cry. And yeah, she would say, you know,
I'm hurting from chemo or whatever, and I'll be like, well,
you know, forty eight hours there's effects go away and
we're at forty two hours, so just hold on, you're good.
(35:33):
And and you know, she was gracious enough most times, yeah,
most times to let it go. But I think sometimes
it got to her and she would say like, Kyle,
I'm I'm going to be in pain sometimes, like I
have cancer, you know, and it's not all roses. And
(35:53):
because I was always the positive, Yeah, and.
Speaker 5 (35:56):
You're trying to be positive. That's why you said all
that exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Yeah. And I'm like, oh, well, just manifest it and
blah blah blah blah blah. And the bottom line is,
you know, she's right, she has cancer, Like there's going
to be it's going to be it's not roses, you know,
and it's going to be good days, bad days exactly.
And she's allowed to have those and I should have
and she you know, I talked to her about it
(36:19):
later and she was like, of course, Kyle, I know
she understood.
Speaker 4 (36:23):
She understood because she's probably the one that taught you
to be positive, right exactly, So she got it.
Speaker 5 (36:27):
You got it.
Speaker 4 (36:28):
Yeah, Like that's interesting you say that, because when somebody's dying,
we have to let them be where they are too,
because they're dealing with whatever's going on for them.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Yeah, and it's their journey. You know. She made some
decisions on her cancer journey that I'm like, what the
f are you doing? But then, you know, talking to
my therapist, you know, my therapist was like, what are
you doing? And I'm like, I'm telling my mom that
she's not doing that, she's going to do this instead,
(36:57):
and blah blah blah. And she's like, it's not your journey.
You don't have You're not the one who has cancer.
If she wants to, you know, say to herself. And
I'm just making this up, but say to herself, I'll
give myself a year of chemo and then if it's
still progressing, I'm not doing that. It's not your call
to make. And I'm like, yeah, well it's my mom
and she's not gonna you know.
Speaker 5 (37:18):
And I did that too.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Yeah, And I really I had to realize that, like,
you know, I probably would do the same thing. I mean,
and that's not what she did. She you know, she
never gave up. That's what I was thinking, is it's
giving up. And the fact of the matter is is
it's not if I come to the terms that I
have a year to live I may not want to
live that final year getting radiation or chemo or whatever.
(37:43):
I might want to just live my life.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
Yeah, And some people choose to do it, yeahay, because
they don't want the effects from the chemo.
Speaker 5 (37:48):
And you're right.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
My mother did that too, and we were like, no,
I said it to her, No, Mom, you're not doing that,
you know. And she said the same thing. I have
to do it my way. Yeah, you know, Yeah, I remember.
I remember my mom. And my mother was a healthy eater,
like very healthy, and you know, exercised all the time.
And when she got cancer, she had my nephew go
out right away and buy her five pound backs of
(38:10):
chocolates and she put them in the closet and we're like, mom, Mom,
you can't eat sugar, like it's that good for this.
Speaker 5 (38:17):
She said, are you kidding me? I did that for
all these years. Now I'm here, I'm manat as much
candy as I want, you know.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Yeah. Yeah, And it's funny, funny with my mom. Mom,
we did the same thing. She ended up She beat
cancer three times and ended up with a I forget
what it's called, but it's basically like a degenitor degenerative
disease where your lungs crystallize. Oh, I forget what's called.
And so we were trying to keep her healthy and
(38:44):
blah blah blah blah blah. And she would always have
candy here or you know, she had a sweet tooth,
and sometimes we'd be like mo, mom, like you know,
you had ice cream for breakfast or whatever, and she's
like and and then it like gets to the point
where it's like, you know what you're like in your
mid eighties to late eighties, Like how long? How much
(39:06):
longer if we say no, you can't eat candy, Like
is it going to give her another thirty years? Like? No, like,
let her eat candy, you know.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
And my father in I remember, he was in his
eighties and I can't remember what was wrong. He had
a few few health issues and we had caregivers that
came over and helped him, and one played poker with
them health the time, and she and she'd always have
crackers and cheese and pepperoni, and everyone said he can't
have the pepperoni, you know, And I said the same thing,
like let him have the pepperoni. Yeah yeah, yeahm or
(39:34):
let him do it. But I guess, like back to
what you were saying is let people do it their way, right.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
Right, right, what's right for them. Yeah, I mean what
I want, what I wanted could have not extended her
life at all, and then she would have had to
deal with the effects of that. Yeah, Whereas you know,
if if it happened the way she wanted, whether it
gave her six months or the year that they gave her,
(40:01):
which they didn't give her a time. But I'm just saying, yeah,
theoretically she went out on her terms, and like that's
way more respectful than you know, me dictating what I
want for her life.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
But I think it's but I think it's that we're
so afraid to lose them, right, and especially because we
feel like we're losing them and maybe that's going to
be it. You're never gonna have another connection that we
we grab onto any hope. It's like this, this little
thing or this is going to be it. Or you know,
if if my mother doesn't eat the candy, that that's
going to save her life. Yeah, and I think that's
why we do that. Yeah, it's all it's all about
(40:37):
you get to like it's accepting it, right. It's like
at first everybody's in shock, you know. And then and
I think like that Elizabeth Cooper Ross on the Seven
Stages of Dying and grieving and all that, like I
think those are really true.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Yeah yeah, I still to this day it's the best book.
It is so good. And I still to this day,
I like I don't and probably none of us do
them linearly. You know, it's like I'll go to one
before you know, it's like I'm like grieving acceptance, and
then it's like no, I'm not accepting it. And then tomorrow,
you know.
Speaker 4 (41:09):
I'm man anger part of it too, like this isn't fair,
you know, and or that I'll do anything. I remember
praying like I'll do anything, just let my mom be here,
right Yeah. And then you get to accept it, you know,
because you love them and you just you don't have choice,
right yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
And you know, there came a point with her where
I just kind of had to accept that. I mean
I could see her and see she was just bones
and this is not my healthy mom that just looks
normal two months ago and I was still you know, like, yeah,
(41:48):
she's going to get better, and you know they're coming
out with different you know, something every day yeah. And
and the kind of crazy thing is that kind of
life was that in her lab like it was. It
would have been selfish of me to have her keep
holding on in the state that she was, because it
(42:11):
would have been for me. Yeah, you know, and what
she's going to be sixty five pounds for another year,
so in the hopes that there's a new treatment that
comes out or whatever. And you know, she went her way.
And that's really I mean, I think all of us
deserve that.
Speaker 5 (42:28):
We all do.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
Yeah, but that's I know what you mean, because because
I looked at my mom and thought the same thing.
But then like it's almost we're like I remember saying
to her, like at first you're saying like hold on,
hold on, you know. And I remember saying, Mom, it's okay.
If you go like, we're all going to be okay,
don't worry. I'll keep the family together. But you know
we can see that if this isn't good for you anymore, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
Right, Yeah. And I remember at one point towards the end,
because I would go over there to my parents and
I couldn't see her in pay and for long periods
of time, but I also wanted to see her, so
I would go over there and she'd just be wailing
in pain, and and then I'd have to leave, like
(43:11):
after a few minutes, and I'd be like, Mom, I
love you, you know, and then i would just go
to the car and cry. And I'm like there was
one point and I, you know, I was like to myself,
take her because this.
Speaker 5 (43:25):
Is not it's awful, because you don't want to see
him like that, you know.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
And I felt guilty about that.
Speaker 4 (43:31):
Oh, I was just going to say that because in
readings like that happened. I get that all the time
that I'll people. I'll be giving a said a daughter
reading about her mom and and I'll say, your mom
is showing me that you told her it was okay
to go, you know, and and that and that you
regret so much that you did that, because maybe if
you wouldn't have said that, she'd still be here. But
(43:51):
you know that your mom couldn't do it anymore, you know,
her body there was no quality of life for and
she was in a lot of pain. And she thanks
you so much for saying that because that allowed release
trifle like I'm saying that to you. Yeah, yeah, that
that like that, you know, that released her to go,
you know, to this other place that isn't you know,
it's a way from you physically, but it really isn't.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
You know.
Speaker 4 (44:13):
She's still with you just as much and she's out
of that physical body that wasn't good anymore.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
Yeah, you know, Yeah, it.
Speaker 5 (44:19):
Wasn't a good vehicle for her. I always feel like
it's a vehicle that allows us experiences, and she wasn't
having that anymore.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
Yeah, you know, it's it's something I had to kind of,
you know that I still I forgive myself for. But
I just remember thinking those words, and I'm like, how
could I ever think that about my mom?
Speaker 5 (44:38):
I know, I remember thinking to too and thinking like
is this ever going to be over? Like and it's
it's awful.
Speaker 4 (44:43):
It was awful for all of us, you know, for
us to see her and for her and especially for
her to be in this state she was in, and
it kind of got to be it was like time
for her to cross, time for go be with my grandmother.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Yeah you know.
Speaker 5 (44:54):
Yeah. So and my stepfather too, remember that too, like
she he was in the room too.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Yeah. So yeah, So what do you from all of
the people that have spoken to you for their loved ones.
What do you think is the most common element of them?
And what I mean is like, what do you hear
that they most want to convey.
Speaker 5 (45:22):
That they still want to help them, that they love them.
You know. They they want to give as much evidence
to me as they can so that you know for
sure it's your mom, you know, and you know they
they want to know that there, they still have a presence,
they didn't just disappear. That's huge because we all worry
about that. Or like a parent that loses a child,
(45:43):
you worry so much about your kids anyway, and and
and when and when a child crosses over, you're so worried,
and the child wants to don't worry about me. Here's
what I'm doing now, you know, I'm okay.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 5 (45:55):
Yeah, I love Yeah.
Speaker 4 (45:57):
It's always so heartbreaking to do that, but it's so
good too because when somebody gets the evidence and they
get the messages, they feel better, you can they shift.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
That's awesome. Yeah, thank you so much for speaking with
me about death and dying and all the amazing work
you're doing. You are doing life changing work, So thank you.
Speaker 5 (46:17):
Thank you so much. Thanks for asking me. It was
an honor.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
The honor was mine, The honor truly is mine. Reverend
Angela App not only was gracious enough to sit down
with me and share what mediumship is to help demystify
it for me, but she was empathetic enough to share
her own story of what led her here and why
(46:42):
she's doing this and how her and I are talking today.
She's a prime example of why people from all around
the world come to Lilydale, New York in search of
answers of their own, whether it be about someone on
the other side or about their own budding sensitivity. When
(47:03):
we return, you'll hear unedited my own personal reading from
Reverend App. Does mom come through? Does anyone.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
Here for yourself? The moment of Truth?
Speaker 3 (47:27):
From the moment I met her, I immediately felt a
comfort with Reverend Angela apt a peace.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
She's both warm.
Speaker 3 (47:37):
And welcoming, and she has an energy about her that
allows you to feel safe. I knew that I was
led to her for a reason, and almost immediately upon
meeting her, I'd find out what that reason was.
Speaker 4 (47:54):
I believe that we all that we all have spirit
guides and guardian angels and our loved ones on the
other side, and when I do a reading, my guides
connect to yours.
Speaker 5 (48:03):
That's where I get my information. Okay.
Speaker 4 (48:05):
I always believe this is for healing purposes and highest
and best and guidance always.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (48:11):
So I always started out in that say prayer, okay,
and I see things, I get feelings, I get words.
Speaker 5 (48:17):
I'll give you whatever comes, Okay.
Speaker 4 (48:19):
I'll ask if it makes sense. If it doesn't, tell
me no, it's okay. I can get more information, okay, Okay,
all right, you're ready. Okay, Oh God, as we open
the door to communication in unity of the Holy Spirit,
the Great I am, presence of the universe, we give
(48:41):
thanks for we know that the words spoken are filled
with your love, truth, wisdom, and understanding of the highest
I'm in. Do you have a grandpa on the other
side that you were real close to. I feel like
a grandpa. They had a great sense of humor, because
I feel like a gentleman kind of stepping in in.
The first thing I'm seeing is is like his big smile. Okay,
(49:03):
so like a big smile and in a good sense
of humor.
Speaker 5 (49:05):
He was fun. He was almost like a big kid himself.
Do you understand I do okay, and this and is
this mom Mom's husband or this the other grandfather? Because
I felt like that's that's who it was.
Speaker 4 (49:16):
I keep feeling like like when he smiled, it's like
his smile reached his eyes and I see sparkling eyes.
Speaker 5 (49:23):
I feel like he was somebody too.
Speaker 4 (49:24):
He was a strong man too, And I feel like
it feels like you could felt like you could lean
on him, like he was somebody you could always go
to for advice. Like I want to say, like second
father is kind of what this feels like to me.
For you, okay with him, Okay, I feel like he
steps in with you a lot.
Speaker 5 (49:42):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (49:42):
I feel like he has his hand like on your shoulder,
like all the time, letting if you've ever He's proud
of you. You know, working hard was important. I feel
like he was a hard working man and he always
I see him shaking hands. I feel like a handshake
kind of man.
Speaker 5 (49:56):
Do you understand? Okay? Because I feel like you're the
same way.
Speaker 4 (50:00):
And I feel like if you say you know I'm
gonna i'm gonna do something, I'm gonna be there for somebody,
you are and you put like about one thousand percent
of yourself and anything you do. And I feel like
he was that way as well. And he's saying you
it's like you.
Speaker 5 (50:13):
Learn that from him.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 4 (50:15):
Did he cross when you were younger? Yes, Okay, it
feels like you were younger. Okay, but I feel like
he's still kind of had.
Speaker 5 (50:20):
A presence in your life always.
Speaker 4 (50:21):
All right, So he so I want to say, I
feel like he's saying, I came through first because once
the women get talking, I won't be able to get in.
Speaker 5 (50:29):
Now, Okay, so that's something say is it something? Okay?
Speaker 4 (50:32):
All right, okay, so all right, And I feel like
the whole time that we've been doing this, I feel
like my mom and your mom probably would have been friends. Yeah,
because I feel like your mom was like my mom
always pushed me and nudged me along, and I feel
like your mom's doing the same thing your mom. Your
mom is saying like there's no way, like I feel
you were the most important person to your mom in
(50:53):
her life. Like I feel like it was almost like
the two of you, like the two of us against
the world kind of thing, the two of us can
make it through.
Speaker 5 (51:02):
Like like she's saying she was the mom and.
Speaker 4 (51:04):
She supported you, but I feel like you supported her too,
Like it feels like that's just kind of the way
the connection was between the two of you. I don't
know if you believe in past lives. Okay, I believe
in that too. That's a whole other topic. But I
feel like she's showing me that the two of you
were together. I feel like in so many lives, and
you will be again. But I can hear saying as
(51:25):
I'm saying that too. She's saying, but I don't want
him to think he has to wait until like another
life for us to be together.
Speaker 5 (51:31):
I am with him all the time.
Speaker 4 (51:33):
I don't know if you have anything happened where it
feels like I keep seeing like lights flickering or lights blinking,
And I also feel I keep seeing pennies.
Speaker 5 (51:41):
I don't know if you find pennies or find coins.
Speaker 4 (51:44):
She's giving me thinks, pay attention if you don't, okay,
because I feel like you're gonna have that. I keep
seeing something lights flickering. I don't know what that's about,
but I see that too. I also am seeing I
feel like cardinals, and I feel like blue jays.
Speaker 5 (51:58):
Okay, So I'm seeing two different kind of birds.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
And both of them appear almost daily in my backyard.
Speaker 5 (52:03):
Oh all right, okay, so you understand that.
Speaker 4 (52:05):
Okay, that's good because because because I feel like she's
trying her best to figure out ways, and and I
feel like she talks to you all the time too.
Speaker 5 (52:12):
It's like she kind of comes to you in dreams.
I'm seeing that as well.
Speaker 4 (52:16):
Okay, does she and you wake up in the morning,
Because I feel like your mom was a great advice giver,
Like I feel like your mom would have been the
person if you were trying to figure out what am
I going to do next?
Speaker 5 (52:27):
Like she would have been the one.
Speaker 4 (52:28):
She was very sincere and kind, I feel like, a
very very kind heart and very very giving and very
genuine and also had a sense.
Speaker 5 (52:38):
Of humor too. And she's saying she had to have
a sense of.
Speaker 4 (52:41):
Humor because you made her laugh all the time, Like
I feel I feel that she's saying that that's that's
what you did. Like I could see you as a
little kid, like your charm get you got away with
things with your sense of humor? Okay, and your charm
does that make sense? And she okay, yeah, yeah, I'm
seeing that too. Okay, so so, but definitely I feel
that with her she was like I see giving and
(53:03):
I see sense a lot a lot of sincerity with her,
Like I feel she was the kind of person that
if you needed, really needed the shirt off for back,
she'd give it to you. And a lot of people
say that those kinds of things, but I feel like
with your mom, that's exactly who she was, one hundred percent.
She gave advice, like like I hear wise, I feel
like she was very very wise. It feels to me
(53:25):
like she was intuitive too, because I could because I
feel like the advice she gave sometimes like if you
were to ask her, it's like, where did that even
come from?
Speaker 5 (53:33):
I feel she was intuitive.
Speaker 2 (53:34):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 5 (53:35):
Yeah, very very much so.
Speaker 4 (53:37):
I don't even know if you thought of it as intuition,
like back then as you would now kind of looking
back at it. Okay, I feel definitely Grandma or mo
mo mom you call her, Okay, I feel like her
stepping into I feel like she liked having the mom
mom because it.
Speaker 5 (53:53):
Was like, yes, two moms or something.
Speaker 4 (53:55):
Like almost like that made her more important, you know,
and she's kind of laughing about that too. I feel
like an e. Is he going miss with her too?
Did somebody drink tea or coffee or something?
Speaker 2 (54:05):
Was that her? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (54:07):
It's like I saw those tea cups with the China
tea cups with the saucer. I don't know if she yes, Okay, yeah,
does somebody have those?
Speaker 2 (54:15):
I do?
Speaker 4 (54:16):
Okay, good because because because I feel that she's saying
you should.
Speaker 5 (54:20):
Drink tea out of those, because I don't feel like
you do.
Speaker 2 (54:23):
I don't even know.
Speaker 4 (54:23):
If you drink tea, okay, but but I feel like
it's whatever you drink, drink, drink it out of those
once in a while, because because you'll have her energy
with you when you do. Because I feel she was
just as important to you as your mom.
Speaker 2 (54:35):
Yeah, I mean we her and I had a.
Speaker 4 (54:38):
Best friends, best friends, Like I can hear her saying
I was like a second mom to him. But we
were best friends and we had fun together, like you know,
we we did things together. We had fun, like I
could see almost the two of you almost like missed
mischievous together. I don't know, it feels like that and
kind of laughing together and and like let's go do
this or let's go sneak and do that. Okay, I
(54:59):
feel well. So I feel like they they all three
of them want you to know. And Grandpa two, like,
I feel like they all want you to know. You
didn't call them Grandpa, popa papa. Okay he said, he said,
I said, Grandpy said, that's not what he called me.
Speaker 5 (55:10):
I heard him say that.
Speaker 4 (55:11):
Okay, so so, But but I feel like they're showing
me that you're on the right path. Okay, I feel like,
definitely on the right path in your life. And it
feels to me that as you're doing that, okay, Like
I feel like business wise, I see doors opening, but
I feel personally too, okay, like I don't know, I
feel like question marks around your head, like you question
(55:33):
everything and you're always wondering about everything. And so I
feel like they're saying, just just keep on going and
don't worry and don't feel like you have to push yourself.
Just kind of go with the flow and let things
fall into place and they will all right, Like.
Speaker 5 (55:47):
Almost like I could.
Speaker 4 (55:48):
I feel like I'm hearing they're saying, not that we
were good at this, but be patient, just be patient.
It will all come like at the exact.
Speaker 3 (55:57):
Time, whether you choose to believe in mediumship or not.
There are numerous and specific things that Angela said to
me that are impossible for her to have known. We
had never met each other before. This reading was the
first time that I had ever even spoken to her.
(56:20):
I had never even been in Lilydale before, and there
was no fishing on her part. There was no googling
me beforehand, and we did that on purpose, with Nate
reaching out to the various guests from the reading that
Reverend n Appt gave me. There are concrete examples of
things that she knew, and I have no scientific explanation
(56:43):
to explain how she knew them. Do I think Angela
was in touch with Mom and subsequently my Mom and
pop Up.
Speaker 2 (56:52):
I truly, truly do.
Speaker 3 (56:56):
I went into Lilydale, New York, ready to explain away
anything that may have happened. My goal in coming here,
as it has been with this entire series, is to
explore the various aspects of death and grief and belief
systems and the afterlife. What I didn't expect was to
be totally floored by what I feel here in Lilydale.
(57:20):
This undeniable energy, this feeling. I can't even describe it.
I didn't expect to feel Mom in the room with
me as I got my reading from Reverend Apt. I
didn't expect to hear words that she had literally said
to me, word for word, coming out of the Reverend's lips.
(57:43):
None of it, to me, is explainable by conventional science.
My time in Lilydale with Reverend Apt and with Tom
have convinced me that there is certainly something to mediumship.
I imagine it to like how some people are exceptional
at music while most others aren't. Maybe some people have
(58:07):
the gift of sensitivity to be able to hear those
on the other side and most others aren't. I certainly
believe that now more than I ever have, And if
anyone in history would be there to make contact with me,
would do anything in their power to give me signs
(58:28):
that they're there, it'd be Mom, and that, in my mind,
there is no question she did. Next time, on death,
(58:48):
grief and other shit we don't discuss, I discuss the
first year after Mom passed. What has it been like
navigating these uncharted waters? How have I gotten through and
how I have it? Plus I speak with doctor Catherine
Sheer of Columbia University's Center for Complicated Grief, about what
(59:10):
complicated grief is, how we can navigate out of it,
and so much more. I'm going.
Speaker 2 (59:23):
To see Umber, she said.
Speaker 1 (59:29):
She me me when I come.
Speaker 2 (59:38):
Just goo for Jordia'm just school were over Angel the
school wove do it? Am just cool. Windows over
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