EP 329: Avoiding Situationships

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decision.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
We reached a climax, y'all, our Climax Tour. We are
going to be going all over the country and Canada
east coast, Midwest, west coast, South. Mandy's going to tell
you all about how to secure your tickets because I'm
telling y'all you don't want to let this sell out.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Y'all heard it right. We are hitting sixteen cities for
the official Climax Tour, brought to you by Horrible Decisions. Y'all.
Do not want to miss out our patrons. Why I
first did to purchase pre sell tickets with a special
code giving out only on Patreon, and tickets will be

(00:43):
available for everybody at or hive dot com. You do
not want to miss out. Tickets are short of sell
out and we want the Horhive presence loud and proud.
See you there. Now, let's get to the show. What
idiots help? What's the Welcome to another episode of Horrid

(01:04):
bled This is the old what's up? Y'all? What do do?
I'm weazy and I'm your girl. Man Dy aka pet
the Stallion aka Debt Bitch. Hey, y'all, we sollo today,
y'all we are. We came in, like, what's the We've
been touring. We have been meeting the Horror Hive and
it has been amazing. We are now on our on

(01:27):
our little little break, but we have knocked out five
cities already, I know, and if every show gets better
and better, I think something that I've been like excited
about is everybody's really impressed with like the things that
we add to our shows, Like yeah, just kind of
seeing I don't know, I feel like our shows have
always been good. Like my favorite show of ours of
all time is our first show we ever had, and

(01:50):
then Really and then La the one where that was
one of my least favorite because y'all, that's where I
found out I was allergic to vitamin C on my
face and all the big bitch and I was just
not comfortable. It was just at all. I think having
both of our moms there was cool. It was just
a testimony to me that like it's not hard that, like,
you know, everything that we've come up with for our

(02:11):
shows is not because we've seen it somewhere else, and
that's not even being shady, like it's not no, like
I think sometimes even like musicians, right, they kind of
like go to see what other things look like. Like
that was just creatively like it is what it is,
you know, like all of our games, we figure out
what could be fun, what could be different, and it's
something that people haven't seen before, and I know they

(02:32):
couldn't have seen it before because we made it. So
like I feel like that first show really showed me like, oh,
this isn't hard to do, Like and by that I
mean like put the show on. Of course, like logistics
gets tough and things like that, but like making this
show and being able to perform isn't difficult. So that
let me know, like this was a moneymaker, the key
key show. See that show didn't make me know it

(02:54):
was the money maker because which we broke even, so
I didn't know, oh I just saw the money in
it until later down the road because maybe the podcast
wasn't money make it to me after that. That's what
I mean. Okay, okay, yeah, because the live shows, bitch,
we broke even on that shit. But also like didn't
really understand what we were doing in the first place,

(03:14):
right right for that, but like knowing that ad vibe
was there, but the show I say in La when
people bully scheronas to kiss me for me to get shironas.
That was fun. Y'all should believe me with another cute
nigga again, that was great shop. I felt bad because
B and D was there and I was like, oh,
my guest Dick tonight, and then I was like, but
at the same time, I have to perform. I'm not

(03:35):
gonna lie. It has been this is the first tour
so far that like, well, maybe because I ain't got
none right now, but this has been the first tour
where I haven't had like my hoes at every show,
like normally someone ether comes in. I got an old
hoe at one of them, but he's not a current hole.
He's just a supporter, a good lung, like lifelong front

(03:57):
at this point. But like not having like any of
my niggas at the show, I think I'm gonna keep
it up because I enjoy just the freedom of being
on stage and saying whatever the fuck I want. And
I really enjoyed our kinksters. I want to I wanted
to shot them out though, So we kicked off the
tour in Detroit, where apparently y'all not freaking enough in
Detroit bitch because we don't really have no kinksters there,

(04:20):
but in Cincinnati we had to. So I want to
shout out Ambrosia, who did a phenomenal sensual pole dance
in a let dance were weezy, and then Dahlia, Oh way,
we gotta tell people what happened in the middle of that.
That shit was funny. What's kind of fun about doing
these shows too, is like we're not Beyonce, so like
bopas in the middle of the show are funny because

(04:41):
like we're already a show that doesn't edit shit, Like
we're very authentic period. So in Cincinnati, Vinnie is managing,
you know, our makeup artists and whoever's coming in and whatever, staff, cameras,
team stuff like that. So if someone's re writing him,
they don't. He doesn't have their numbers. He just got

(05:02):
the zip code, which I don't know why, no shade
to the makeup rogers, But why would you text him
and tell him you couldn't say, I don't know. So
we had the kingster Ambrosia, who came out and did
the strip tease and you know all that, and it
was really hot. So he gets a text right before
She's supposed to go on ten minutes before, like, I'm
so sorry, I can't say, Hey, my mom just got

(05:24):
had an emergency in the hospital. I gotta go to
the hospital. So Mandy's in the middle doing a game.
Benny's locking eyes of me on the stage and I'm like,
oh shit, Okay, what we're gonna do? How we gonna improvise?
So I'm looking at Mandy was like, what did I say?
I was like, this is we're gonna do. We're gonna
get up there, I'm gonna get on the pole. We're
gonna say three things that we should do for this, this, this,
And we're like, bet we get up there. So I'm
on the mic and I'm like hey. She literally makes
the announcement, Hey guys, so we had a kinster but

(05:47):
they had to leave for an emergency. So and then
next thing I know, I look over to the goddamn
staircase where the Kings is supposed to be. She's like, wait, bitch,
I'm here. I'm like, weezy, wait wait. So I go
to Bennie and I'm like, uh, she's here. Here go Bennie.
At the end, he was like, oh, I thought the
Kinkster said they couldn't make it so literally, we're like

(06:09):
panicking mid show and I'm just like with the makeup
artists textdoy as if we needed her, the whole show
needed her writing for that shit, and we were good too.
I'm sorry, but bitch. Yeah. I wanted to give another
shout out to our kink sits in Chicago, Solomon Abrams,
who did a wonderful Shabari rope with a BBW and babe.

(06:31):
It was cute, and then also our opener who did
burlesque l du jour. In Houston, we had Sir Debonair
open up as well as Coach fee Line. Sir Debonair
was a drag king and burlessed performer, and then Coach
fee Line did probably one of the best spoken word
sensual shit outn't seen and mine, y'all. I know we're

(06:52):
saying spoken word, but the ones we've been interviewing it's
not given Listen Coach bee Line gave. And then we
had Chocolate Buddy Dan, they're not You're not girl, girl,
it's not given you. I want to say you loved her.
I loved her, That's what I'm saying. She was Oh no,
the spoken word that we had. That's what I'm saying.
She is literally the only one that I really enjoyed.

(07:14):
I mean a horrible you said the ones we didn't know.
I'm talking about the ones that we've been interviewing for
the live Oh I thought I would love to have
her again too, because I've seen her perform live. I
see just why I would love it again. No, I'm
talking about the ones we've interviewed to perform at Oh
gotcha got got uh? They she was, she was amazing.

(07:35):
And then in Dallas, Chocolate Bunny also opened up. She
was our kinkster in Houston, but she opened up as
well in Dallas. And then we had four from Black
Ink Crew and his Dom Robin where that was great.
Y'all four stuck my toes and his Dom brought out
a strap and we got to talk about pegging a
little bit. So I'm hoping we get to bring him

(07:56):
on an episode because bitch, I'm here for He came
out just like a little point point. There's a few
rules that I would like to set for these shows.
Oh oh wait, are you about to tell which rules?
Because also, real quick for anyone interested, I'm not gonna
say who did it or in what city? But moving forward,
if you guys are interested in being kinksters at the climax,

(08:19):
horrible decisions tour, it is a show that you are
being paid for. We have had now multiple cities where
niggas was trying to get it on backstage and wallet's wait,
not only backstage ladies and gentlemen. Bitch, can I talk
for a second? Oh were you about to say that? Yes? Oh,
she gonna talk to the audience. Hold on, I'm talking

(08:41):
to the kinksters. We's gonna talk to the audience. But kinksters,
this is a job. Please come perform and enjoy the show.
Please do not try to get busy in the back
because the venue is coming to us about it Jesus Christ.
So these are the rules I'd like to set. Y'all
have had great energy. I think we've only had I

(09:03):
just gonna say one issue too. It was a girl
who was in Atlanta that said the shit about I
had a two parent household, okay and more than three
because you almost got off the stats two. Yeah. But
other than that, I don't really remember any issue. I
do remember someone being aggressive with me at the Black
Effects Us screaming me up in my face and putting
her hand up about some shit that I didn't like.

(09:25):
But what I will say is the energy y'all have
brought to the live shows are exactly what we need.
Oh I love it. You guys are come, you know,
just to let you know what I think rules should be.
Some of you come and you're in a terrible mood,
and I get that, and you just need to pick
me up. It's so great to see that we can
turn it around, that you could sit with the hive

(09:46):
that you guys get. So many people we met that
came alone, which I love because they were all like,
oh yeah, it was right, like they were loving it,
like they've met people made friends when they left. I
would say with this for rules, one come with some
great energy to make sure that when you're coming to
the show that you have an open mind for anyone

(10:07):
that's on the stage and if you get on stage. Yep.
So everybody actually those got on stage has been fun
of shit. Even if they were bad at whatever games,
they were fun. Oh no, I'm not saying that the
girl from El Paso was bad as the sucking dick
where she was, but she was fun. Though you know
she was fun right, So like that was funny to me.

(10:28):
That's why I don't mind laughing about it. But like
I do think some people are like, oh, I want
to get up there, and they have no idea that
there's hundreds of people looking at you.

Speaker 3 (10:36):
So I would say this, bitch, if you know you
won't get on stage for a game and you shoot
your motherfucking hand up, be ready, bitch, you better take
the house, damn because when we about to start per
Vinnie is the Apollo rules?

Speaker 1 (10:50):
Because when that bitch got up there and said deep
throating is just for porn? Yeah, that was crazy. Oh good?
Are those all the audience rules? Mm hmm. And then
the next and final one that I think is something
that seems like a no brainer. But obviously you're gonna
get horny when you're at this show. Okay, I'm glad
you're bringing this and you're going to wanna do some

(11:14):
wild shit, which Mandy and I are so used to
people meeting at live shows having threesomes. This is a
why fellas y'all need to pull up. Oh, I'm telling you,
like the single niggas that go are like nigga what
so here's the rule. The rule is, please don't think
that our live show is a sex club. Please don't

(11:35):
think that me setting that rule as a parameter is
me trying to, I don't know, stifle you. I don't
give a fuck what you do when you leave the venue.
But like, right, Mandy and I already throw the wildest
shows that these ven you see, yep, right, The first
thing out of their mouth is always like, oh my god,
we just had a podcast show last night. It was
nothing like that. They're you know, boom boom this that

(11:56):
like they're literally thanking us for coming to their city
app because they had no idea when we walking. The
daff has a good time. It's a great fucking show.
But but that don't mean that you could suck a
dick in the audience. First of all, the show not
only like it's non consensual to the people sitting next
to you, it's disrespectful to Mandy and I. And also, bitch,

(12:20):
get it together home, get it together. You could suck
somebody in your phone, somebody that you already know, but
offering to suck dick after the show, during the show,
during this show is wild. A friend of mine, but
also wait, again because I want to double down on this.
We talk about consent all the time. This is not

(12:40):
a sex club, so no one around you is consenting
to see you suck a nigga dick right by you.
I just said that shit bitch didn't get this out
to double down on it. My homeboy came to this
show completely unaware of what we do. Also knows the show,
but like unaware of how the show works. Bro. He
got to that green room and was like in shock,
and this is a nigga that's played ball all over

(13:01):
the world. He was like, I've never like what I mean,
did you see his face? He's like, I can't, I
can't believe it. Like she was trying to do it
right there, like right there, not even wait till after
she said, I will suck your dick right here us.
What was the run time in that she did that?
The show was almost an hour? No, the show was
ninety minutes to two hours.

Speaker 3 (13:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
She saw a six sixth nigga, dark skin with hair
and was like, oh, have you ever beat the robin?
Have you ever in your life, not in the show,
in my life, in your life, have you ever been
in the place of venue of club and thought, I
need to do it right now. The bathroom don't count. Oh,
the bathroom don't count because bitch, I death. The bathroom
don't count. Bitch, I definitely ate some pussy a j

(13:43):
I remember you talking about this. I talked about eating
pussy and Jerry's bitch, I don't be I don't know
if South Beach you talk about the bathroom. Yep, yeah,
we went in to the bathroom. I ate that could yeah,
have you ever? I mean, technically I was getting breakfast
at five am in Miami and just for whatever reason
one was to eat cooch but at an event ridiculous. No,

(14:05):
the only other place I ate Couchie was the strip club,
and I could have waited till we got to the house.
So technically there have been a restaurant bathroom. And you
said that the strip club was upstairs in a room.
It was, but it was still at the strip club.
I actually don't think that counts. How that don't count? Okay? Wait, yeah,
we weren't in an open It wasn't an open floor plan, bitch.

(14:27):
It was just the private room up in susies okay,
And technically it wasn't the strippers. But sly, I ate
it was my home. Did I ever talk about that
time that I left that first? I was looking at
us about to say, how we are here? A secondict public? No,
I never I was gonna say. It wasn't in public,
but it made me think that was like the time
know that I had an appointment with a client when
I worked selling Ethernet, and I did it in one

(14:50):
of the hotels that's talk about that. I don't think
you did. Maybe I didn't because I was still employed.
But I'll tell y'all now. So when I worked for
said company, h basically I would sell disaster recovery software, Ethernet,
GPS units, just anything to companies between Manhattan and Bronx.

(15:11):
The companies had to have like more than two hundred
fift employees. Like there's a few rules because it was
enterprise level. One of the hotels, which is one of
the most expensive hotels in New York by Bee clocking,
Barack Obama coming out, Kim Kardashian like, it's very expensive
and it's a boutique brand. I was needing to service

(15:34):
the hotel because they were not having an issue with
some kind of mobility around one of their suites because
the suite was so big, and I think I told
Vinnie this to day it happening because I couldn't believe it,
but base believe you were a whore. Yeah. So went
through the hotel going by whatever, and I'm like, and

(15:55):
I've seen this guy maybe three times before. We've always
been on the phone. He's been my client for a year,
but in person not all the time because I always
brought my boss because it was such a big client.
So I was like, hey, well I need to like
visually see this so we see how they can like
engineer it basically. So I get in the suite with
him and I'm like, oh my god, this is huge.
He's like, oh my god, Yeah, there's so many youthsic
was huge. No, no, okay, you just said it was huge.

(16:17):
But I'm like, maybe that was some of the ugly
sex I've had. So he takes me around and it
was he was like, oh my god, there's so many
youtubes about this suite. It's like super popular and famous
and like blah blah blah. So he's showing me one
level this, this, that, and then finally one of the
rooms got darker and it was like red I don't

(16:37):
remember what it was, but I was like, oh my god,
what is this the like BDSM room? And he was
like no, but I'm sure people fuck all over this
room and do crazy things. Maybe this could be like
the sex room and the upstairs. It's like where you
have breakfast and where the maid comes and where your
butler comes and ta da da. And I was like, yeah,
I could see that, and he's like me too. And
then all I know is we didn't have sex because

(16:58):
we didn't have condoms. We went down on each other crazy,
and I remember, like fully I was stripped down, but
he didn't. He only unzipped his pants. He was wearing
a suit the whole time. Bitch. It was why it
was so good. And literally when I left, I remember,

(17:19):
because you know, I've talked about on this show where
I don't like when people make me feel like, oh,
they're just done with me, right girl. We got downstairs.
I don't know if it made me feel hotter or well,
but I had to put my little suit back on
and he was like I almost his accent. He was
like yeah right away, and so like that was great,
We'll connect with you. I'll have my assistant actually let

(17:39):
me see if she's screed. Pulls the assistant over. He's like,
did you get notes? Looked at me with nothing like,
not even a sexy look like ooh, look at we
just did just like blank. And then I got in
the car and I was like, that was so fucking
hot and I could smell the dick on my face.
So while we just shared our public sex, obaby, that
doesn't count. Well, we don't want y'all to have sexipades
at our live show. If that's okay with you, just

(18:02):
do it in other public places, but not at the
Climax tour, which, by the way, get tickets a grow
such a whore. You can now get tickets for that
at horrhid dot com. Jesus, how do we go from
telling them not to have fucking sexual excapades at our
goddamn live shouting But we've had sex and public, y'all.
I honestly, I had never been with someone of that

(18:23):
ethnicity before, and I wonder if that counts now, because
I've said a few times, Oh, I ain't gonna hold you, bitch,
y'all might be in for a rude awaken y'all. I
went out last night met this little Jerry Seinfeld ass nigga.
But he walked up white. What is Jerry Seinfeld? Bitch?
She looked like Jerry Seinfield. Let me see. Oh I

(18:44):
ain't getting a picture of him. Oh I know he
had his Instagram? Is the old boss got the number? Beach?
Where did you go? I met him at a hookah
bar in the city. He went to a hookah bar.
He was with. I ain't gonna say what he does,
but it's finance and bitch. Every there was they they
they rich. Be Oh he was one of them. Oh, bitch,

(19:05):
super one of them. So what's crazy is we even
started because he asked a question about employees, like, would
you rather have like an A one employee who's great
at their job but not great to work with? Or
would you rather have a B employee for someone who's
really loyal B? And I said B. Half of the
table said be. Half the table said the first one.

(19:27):
And I was like, to me, I would want someone
who's they could be good at their job, but I
would want someone that I know is as invested, someone
who's open to learning more. If you come and thinking
you just know everything, you're not even gonna really give
me any room to teach you how I like to
do things. But also I don't want to cancer in

(19:47):
my in my team. I've literally had cancers on my team. Bitch.
As soon as I saw they will infiltrate in my
motherfucker system. Fired. My best employee today was my b
oh for sure. And I remember like a day they
lost audio at my studio. Shit, And I was like,
and I look back on it as a matter of fact,

(20:07):
I remember, Kenny, I got real mad at me once
and it's something I say all the time. I did
something wrong in the beginning working reviews like I don't,
I don't. I am not the B team. This isn't
the B team, wheezy. And I was like, oh, that's
real as fuck. Oh I don't want the B team.
Like this is the level you need to be thinking at.
And I was like wow, like it really changed my
way of thinking. Is like, and I say it all
the time, I'm like, we're the A team. I say

(20:29):
I push that because I want people to understand that
we should all be feeling like And this is for
anybody that works anywhere. Fuck the entrepreneuri bullshit, anybody that
works anywhere. You have to feel like you're the fucking
a team, even if that's you on your own, Like,
I really believe that that's what makes you shine in
corporate levels too, if you just even started a business,

(20:50):
if you're selling fucking necklaces, nigga, if you don't act
like your shit is you're the a team that your
customer service, even if it's just you, then it reflects
you can't be saying shit like, oh, we're new or
we're just getting started or no, like start feeling like
you're the ship. And that's why I always let y'all know,
my dick second is the age I can't stand you.

(21:11):
I cannot Well, we gonna get into our vanilla shit now, y'all,
and for our vanilla ship this week, which, by y'all,
as y'all know, is our sex and the news. Health
professionals are now being told to call vaginas bonus holes

(21:31):
to avoid offending trans patients. I want to get a
little bit into this just so that we can be
very clear on what it means. Health professionals are being
urged to use the term bonus holes when referring to
vaginas in order to avoid offending transgender or non binary
patients The suggestion was made by a charity called Joe's

(21:53):
Cervical Cancer Trust, which aims to provide information and support
for health professionals treating patients with cervical cancer. Charity clarified
that they were not suggesting that all women use this term,
but rather it was important to use inclusive language that
would reach out to transgender and non binary individuals. However,
this idea has been met with criticism from myself as

(22:14):
well from women's rights campaigners online, who argue that the
language is misogynistic and dehumanizing. The Use of the term
bonus holes instead of vagina is seen as an attempt
to be more inclusive and respectful towards transgender and non
binary individuals, but by using this terminology, health professionals are
acknowledging that not everyone with a vagina identifies as a woman.

(22:38):
The charity believes it's important to recognize and validate the
identities of all patients, regardless of gender identity. However, social
media critics say that replacing the term vagina with bonus
hole is actually problematic as it diminishes the significance and
complexity of female anatomy. Is so annoying, I'm like oh,
I'm gonna go with you. I don't disagree on this one,

(23:00):
just gonna come in like an advocate, bitch, you know,
like because the thing is like, of course I'm an advocate,
and also oh, well, yeah, we're advocate. I'm gonna say this, Like,
to me, people getting annoyed by pronouns is actually something
that's rude because for as a person that has like
a close trans homegirl that i'd be going out with,
and shit like, I can't imagine how she feels when

(23:23):
someone you know, misuses a pronoun like, especially in a
public setting, then she's sitting there like, oh like or
even if they bring up the like sometimes I'm gonna
be like, oh, when you used to be a nigga,
and like, I can't imagine how that makes her feel.
Because now that second part, yes, I am still very
much having a very difficult time with pronouns with people,

(23:45):
and you're having a difficult time with they them, not
with yeah, which which to me is the thing that
was at it. I know he and she well say
in them is what's what's frustrating for me a little bit.
And it's frustrating because three years ago it didn't exists.
As how I was addressing people, so I can understand
their frustration with it, but it's just as frustrating for

(24:07):
me as someone who doesn't identify as non binary, or
they in them to switch up how I speak. But
see that's insensitive, that that's really really Superno, I mean
you can't shrug your shoulders like that. Yeah, no, no, no,
you have to think that a moment. But I'm saying
you're frustrated. You got to use a different word, because
like when someone wants to change or is telling you

(24:29):
how to address them and you're frustrated by something that
they're like, that's fucked up to say. Now, you could
probably say it's difficult. Well, they can't be to me.
It's difficult for both ends. So to me, I think
it's unfair that they're allowed to be frustrated at my
new learning curve, yet I can't be frustrated at this
same learning learning curve. I think frustrating is the word

(24:53):
I want to use for it, because I'm not trying
to be offensive, but it's a little frustrating to have
to navigate that and I don't want to offend them.
But see, what's frustrating saying is frustrating for you? Is
this very like I'm saying it's the wrong word, because
to me it comes off as very like this is
the Republican argument. Hey, you know what, I only know

(25:13):
she and him. You need to pick one. But I'm
not saying that. But that's how that's how frustrating it. No,
I'm frustrated that I am that I'm really trying to
So where do you frustrat that I'm frustrated? Like them?
By the way, like shout out to Vinnie are our
tour manager. Out of the Kinksters that I just shout

(25:35):
it out who have been a part of the first
five cities, about half of them had their pronouns that
we had to go through and not only interviewing them,
but once they arrived, and he actually I also just
appreciated it. He was like, Mandy, I see you trying
so hard and you were doing so good. And I
appreciated that he literally saw I was making a conscious effort.

(25:56):
But yes, I was frustrated because where we have a
certain time for sound check, I'm really trying not to
offend them, and so to me, it's more work than normally. Yes,
I want to give out to maybe someone I just met.
To be fair now, to you, you said you have
a homegirl. I get your care for that homegirl. But
for me, someone that I just met ten minutes ago,
and for me to be as conscious to how I

(26:19):
make them feel it is it's a bit exhausting for me. Exhausting, frustrated.
Those are words that I genuinely felt over the last
few years, really trying to work through. I just don't
think that we can be advocates at the same time
with saying someone's shit is like, I'm an advocate, but
I'm real like this, this is how I feel about
But what I'm saying is like, no, we can't be

(26:42):
advocates and stand in something and then be like this
shit has taken time out of my day. Your choices,
your sexuality that I'm a fight for and wants you
to have freedom for, are like annoying me right now
because I have to think too hard. So I think
that that's the thing too. As an advocate of lgbtq
A and sexuality, gender identity is something new to me.

(27:04):
How you want to be identified is not me saying
that I advocate for you to sleep with whoever you
want to. The gender identity part is new to me
as us being on this podcast. It's something even though
we've been here almost seven years. The gender identity part
and what is offensive in how you address someone is
new and so as an advocate, I'm here for you

(27:25):
to sleep with whoever the hell you want to, but
the day and them the pronoun usage has been new
for me, And that's fine. You know, I love and
I get what you're saying. I just feel like there's
a white person being like I just found out we
couldn't say nigga anymore because of Twitter. I've been saying
nigga all the time. This is new for me. That's
the same. So nouns is new for all of us.

(27:47):
But but I'm saying it's like this podcast, we wasn't
saying someone in that someone be right, but I'm saying
like them feeling offended, like you're saying that's new for you,
Like I think it's like, Here's the part that can
be frustrated is knowing that your intent is in how
they may feel. That can be frustrating. But like to
be frustrated with someone's choices for who they are, I'm

(28:09):
not in getting it right. That's so it's you're conflating
what my I'm frustrated at. I'm frustrated at no you
said then taking Yeah, I just met this person. So
I'm frustrated the now how I communicate off the whim
it's it's it's frustrating because I don't want to offend you.
I don't care that you want to be called them

(28:30):
in they, But in order to not offend you, I
can't get it wrong. I'm gonna hold you. I've been
getting around that shit by the name. I don't know
your name. I just met you ten minutes ago. And
you know I'm bad with names. I meet people all
the time, nice to meet you. I'm easier to remember
their name than remember to say they them. And we
hire these people, we hire them, but also we're we're
given told two or three names by them. Literally, Vinnie's

(28:51):
had the same thing. What we calling them? How are
we introducing you? We're getting stage names, we're getting government names,
We're getting multiple names as well when we meet these
I've actually been kind of saying there for everybody. I
guess I even said it for four I don't know.
I'd be like they're going to be coming out with
a like, I don't fucking know, so like because it
got weird, I just like that actually made it easier.
But I was thinking about when we were talking about that,

(29:13):
then there was a conversation that was, oh, my homegirl,
that is a trans bonus holes. That's where we're at.
So I always feel like I'm right between my My
most exemplary trans woman friend is Hope Gazelle, and I
think most problematic is for Lane Monroe, but also not
problematic to where I believe they're disrespecting their community or

(29:34):
their selves. Just problematic is in some of the things
people may not want to hear. I feel like the
moments were on right down the middle. And I say
that because when I was reading that bonus hole article
I saw that yesterday, I was like, the trans women
I know have the wherewithal to discuss their genitals right
in a health situation without being upset as health professionals

(29:57):
saying bonus holes. That's a me is so ridiculous. I mean, okay,
it's the health professionals like, now I go in and
because you don't know it's there, it's automatically a bonus
hole and not a vagina because you don't want to
offend them. But yet my vagina is now not a vagina.
It's a bonus hole. This tod ain't bonus bitch is
there and it's tight and is deep. Actually have one

(30:19):
trans male friend that I could speak to this experience with,
but like they're able to talk about it in very
like you know, because they told me, like we didn't
talk about their genitalian for a while, and I remember
they were like, you know, unless I'm on the phone
my therapist or I'm at the doctor's office, like I'm
not trying to be like telling people if I have
a pussy or a d And I was like, I

(30:40):
feel that. And I thought about that conversation when hearing this,
because I'm like, Okay, we talked about this on Patreon
where the trans the trans woman came out and uh wait, yeah,
trans woman was mad that a gynecologist wouldn't take them,
but they they have a penis, so a gind of

(31:01):
colleges probably wouldn't be the best doctor for you to
go to. But also like I don't know, y'all join
us on Patreon page. I noted them at the door,
like was wild to me, like that some of the
things I read but like there's two parts there, right,
like going into the office, Like I do feel like
I would want someone that understands fully what I have

(31:21):
going on. I agree, now, I would want them to
call me into the room and be like, hey, like
let's have a conversation. Here are your options. Here's some
people I know, like guid in colleges at this point
should be within their yeah, realm recommending who they can.
I don't send you to. But the bonus holl shit, bro,
I'm conscious of people's emotions to the point where I
believe you get a little Delulu. Now, Delulu, you can't

(31:44):
kind of word is the Delulu bitch? She said you
a little Delulu. I got that shit from Brionda Now
the other day. Who by the way, it's fine. We
had a few people, A lot of people ask me
about Brianda sometimes and are anywhere? So Brehanna is cool,
she's she's taking an Internet detox. But she says somebody
was de Lulu that I knew. We were laughing about it.
But I say that to say, I do think that

(32:08):
when transitioning your body, we can't have these conversations where
we're so emotional that we're even forgetting the health shit
like the whole born gender X thing and all that stuff,
like you know, I want to know, like my kid
is going to see the right person, like I don't.
That's the Lulu to me. So that's why I said,
maybe I'm right between flame and Hope. Okay, so you

(32:30):
kind of toxic, but not I don't think I'm toxic. No, no, no,
I say you might be more. I might be more toxic. Bitch,
I'm frustrated and e is bitch. All right, Well, we're
gonna get into Hope facts this week. Not a war, dirb,
but we're gonna do Hepe facts. And I have two
facts and a myth. Okay, so two facts and a myth.

(32:51):
The first one I found wild and I know we
did a whole episode on sex flaws. So this is
a really funny one. Shout out to everybody in all Obama.
And no we're not talking about Alabama hot pockets. Okay,
who we met the person in Houston who Alabama hot
Yeah he was a black person who even knew about this?

(33:14):
So are you thinking of visiting the heart of Dixie,
Just make sure you pack plenty of sex toys because
you can't buy them in Alabama. While it's hard to believe,
Alabama still has a law on the books that bans
the sell or purchase of any device designed or marketed
as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.

(33:34):
I know, sharper image selling. Y'allready for what you could
face if caught in the act of pleasing yourself with
a sex toy. Please someone's face a maximum fine of
twenty thousand dollars and the possibility of up to one
year in jail or even twelve months of hard labor.
In short, you could buy bullets, but you can't buy

(33:55):
the bullet beach. This is actually a part of the
state's Anti Obscenity Enforcement Act, which has been challenged multiple times.
So y'all know listening, we're not a political podcast, nothing
like that. But make sure you go out and vote,
because if y'all want dil Dos, y'all might need to
go ahead and get some blues and not they gotta

(34:17):
vote for No, it's crazy they got vote for dil Do's.
So the second one, now we're taking it up to
the six hund well not really the six because that's
just Toronto. But this is for all of Canada, and
this was crazy. Oral sex was actually illegal in Canada
up until nineteen sixty nine. So you gotta hand it
to the Canucks. They have a good sense of humor.

(34:39):
As Sarah Aspler at BuzzFeed reports, Canadian law prohibited homosexual
acts a sodomy, which actually included oral sex and antal
sex under the statue until nineteen sixty nine. A lot
of like Georgia has shit like that too, though, which
which which the Saxon sing is wild? No, that's ron crazy.

(35:00):
By contrast, d Us didn't toss out its oral sex
loss until bitch, so are there? The Supreme Court struck
down anti sodomy laws in fourteen states in the Lawrence
versus Texas. What's that called when it's the versus case?
Right case? Yeah, Lawrence versus Texas case. I was like, like,

(35:24):
what the versus bitch? Diddy's rock? Don't do this like
the person versus someone else or the person versus the state.
That's the case. This is what I really want because
I'm confused. It's a case, so you just don't. But
they do have sex shops. Maybe it's the dildo bitch

(35:44):
and there's an obscenity thing, so it's still illegal. However,
they have sex twiceus. I don't know, that's what. Listen
this this comes from a source as stroke Glide, but
everything is hyperlink. So hold on, let me get thee
get the tea. So what is it just it's in Huntsville.
They have one in Birmingham, So what is it like?

(36:06):
How do these niggas? I don't know. You can't really
get caught. By the way, you can search this the
Marshallproject dot org, which gives out I guess all these
like look kind of these little type of weird shits
that's going on. Maybe they don't have like things for
genitalia then, or maybe maybe they have like a rule,

(36:27):
or maybe there's no dildos. Maybe there's other things but
not dildos. It specifically says dildos in Alabama. Hold on,
sex shops were illegal in New York for a while too.
Ain't no way bith not all these hos. A panel
of state appeals court judges have followed. Okay, see shit crazy?
Are we? Okay? No? They how do they want? Okay?

(36:51):
This is an article from eight years ago, though for
New York, but it's a credible source it's a New
York news outlet. Okay picks, it's a channel too. Six eleven.
It's official. Sex shops are legal in New York for now.
That's what a panel of State Appeal Court judge have
ruled following a legal issue that's been carried out for
fourteen years where they have been begging to ban the

(37:12):
city from being the X rated capital of America. That's
what they believed it had been because of Times Square,
because the sex clubs here is it's a oh yeah,
I guess it is. Yeah wow, So apparently we have
sixty to forty section. We had sixty to forty sex
shops in an area that they were run away about
it said, let me see shick, right, yeah, I guess

(37:36):
sex businesses are wow. Yeah, this is oh yeah, from
forty second to forty four. Yeah. So before Disney came
and was a part of Times Square, like where they
brought the Lion King and all those things, Times Square
was the sex district. And then we also know that
meatpacking district where all the clubs and nice restaurants are
now used to be prostitute specifically for the gays and

(37:59):
trans uh sex working of which in me packing I
want you guys, Mandy, I'm trying to tell her you'll
really enjoy it. We're gonna try to do a cinema
soon of the stroll on HBO. I want you all
to check it out before we do the cinema. Yeah,
it's about the trans prostitutes in New York, in the
meatpacking district that existed. It was only like not that
long ago. Yeah maybe like bro I mean it's TV. Yeah, no,

(38:23):
it's really good now. I do want to say, since
I've been looking up with Mandy was talking about, I
found something that tells you where sex toys are illegal
while traveling. Oh bitch, Singapore, Bitch, when I live Highland too.
Oh you could not bring a sex toy into Singapore
and to get around watching porn, just get a VPN.
But nothing sex was allowed in Singapore when I was over.

(38:45):
This is so sick, you know, it was tired. Bitch.
I have a VPN when I travel because I need
to watch an ivy fiance. I'm Saudi Arabia. It's considered
pornographic material and it's Islamic law. It's same with the
UAE Highland. Although a thriving sex tourism and they believe
that obscene objects are sex toys. Yep, Vietnam. It'll be

(39:05):
taken by customs and you can get them back when
you go Malaysia. I ain't gonna hold you. I need
to know how many sex toys are being held up
in Tsa and the god damn lost and Found area
until I leave. You know, I did it for a
fact sake episode with Eddie about a lost and found
That's crazy. One of the craziest lost in founds you

(39:27):
can find are at casinos. Oh, I believe it. What
kind of things do you find? Because when I tell
you're gonna be like, what probably butt plugs? I would
assume the bitches is walking around with butt plugs and
when they sit down with a rich niggas is gambling. Okay,
cop thinking in that world and start thinking of walking
into a casino in the daytime. What the type of

(39:47):
people you see? White people that smoke cigarettes. They find
a lot of dentures, Oh girl, austin tanks, not pains,
Oh wow, old people. Okay, fell phone cell phones is
jerry everywhere. But when I saw dentures, they have so

(40:07):
many dentures. How do you lose your teeth from you
put them down in a cup. That's so nasty. Girl. Well,
I wanted to get to the myth real quick before
we get into our horrible decision. So the myth that
we would like to bust here for y'all is pineapples
won't actually make your semen taste better. Sure, asparagus really
can make your piece smell, but loading up on pineapple

(40:30):
isn't going to make your your semen tastes like a
delicious fruit salad. Casey Gurn spoke with OBGYN doctor Jennifer Gunter,
who stated that eating pineapple won't really affect the taste
of semen one way or another. The best way to
actually improve your taste is by eating a balanced diet,
drinking plenty of water, and practicing good hygie. So, fellas,

(40:52):
if you think drinking all that goddamn fruit cocktail before
we go down and suck that dig just know it
does doesn't really help. I don't believe that that. I mean,
it's a MythBuster, the doctor said it don't. I mean,
I've seen a trend though in like, okay, so dating
a vegan nigga, But that's a balanced diet. It's overall

(41:15):
what they're eating, so like you just downing some pineapple
juice before you have sex is not gonna make your
semen taste better if you don't have a balanced die.
I'm gonna tell y'all, though, what the best taste is semen.
You're gonna tell us the best tastes. My first boyfriend
I've ever had was the worst. I was with him
for a few years and we lived together. He was
on a lot of like I remember specifically creatine. It

(41:36):
was like, there's like this metal the protein like protein powder.
Not what's a protein powder, it's something else. I think
it's still like strength and muscles. But he would just
take a lot of supplements of the worst. Probably helps
because it's vitamin mm hmm. But okay. I actually a
girl that only ate fish and no, no, not fish.

(41:58):
She ate She was on keto when I was talking
with her. Hated her smell. Okay, well that makes sense.
You're eating a lot of fats, yeah, healthy fats, really bad.
Best aairy, best was vegan dairy. I don't know if
I can recall. No, keto is a lot of dairy.
It's a lot of dairy. It's a lot of healthy fats.
And then uh, lean meats. Hold on, wait, wait, wait,

(42:20):
I'm trying to think there was another one that was
really bad. Oh he was a wine drinker only, and
he would have glasses and glasses of wine all the time,
and that shit was tasted acidic, plinging, terrible howl. The
best have been veganstus. Now, I'm not willing to give

(42:40):
that up because my pussy clean. But whatever I mean,
I I just think I'm God's chosen one. I have
really good like nut tasting the niggas. It'd be good,
it'd be good. What y'all know. I get the big
dicks that last long, go long. They ain't shit, But

(43:00):
I'm God's chosen with my period and with my big
dick radar like, it's really clean pussy. I had some
head a few days ago. Whoa same? Oh my, Oh
it was right after you said it. Yeah, literally, I
literally I texted the next Dan and said, you stuck
some good pusses. I thought I was. I thought I
was gonna pass out. And I remember, like specifically, at

(43:23):
one point it was so good that I was like
I had to look at this nigga, but I was
on the couch. She was like kneeled down on the
couch under the couch like I don't know if that
nigga was eye level with my pussy or what. Bitch,
that shit was good and I think his tongue was
going really fast, which I didn't think i'd be into.
But like, oh my god, and when they moan into

(43:45):
your pussy, Oh that's the horder. There you go. Because
we talked about men moaning a lot, but like moaning
into my shit. Oh, I know it's good, and y'all
know I don't even care for it. I go on
stage and talk about how good that motherfucking it was. Oh,
I know, I see it. I thought of that was. Like, y'all,
it is summer in New York, and I think apparently

(44:07):
from these California the Canada fires, like they're all down.
It's in my house too, and I'm like, bitch, I'm
on the sixteenth floor where serious swear to God, like
I can't leave my windows open. They're everywhere. Bit ch'all
feel like you're gonna nut in my own bitch, they're
fucking everywhere. Well, y'all, we are gonna get into our
horribled decision. And the horrible decision is being back indies greets,

(44:32):
and I kind of just wanted an update because this
is the first time in a long time that Weisy
and I are both single. But it's twenty twenty three,
we are post pandemic, we are in our thirties, and
so it's kind of a new lane of dating. And
I actually ran into this article from glam dot com

(44:54):
that said that singles are shifting the dating world in
twenty twenty three by avoiding one specific type of relationship.
So the relationship that people are avoiding are situationships. A
situationship is a largely is a largely circumstantial relationship that
is typically based primarily upon sex and convenience. In twenty

(45:17):
twenty three, people are now looking to date with more
intention Intentional dating entails replacing falling into situationships with anyone
who shows interest in holding out for someone whose long
term relationship goals at yours. No more settling for surface
level matches who don't want a commitment and hoping that

(45:37):
they'll change their minds. You're worth more than that and
you know it, so setting your intentions for your romantic
future and not budgeting. I did want to ask you,
since we are dating, if you are dating with intention.
I know you want to be a mom, But what
how dating has changed for you from now to back

(46:00):
when you were single three four years ago? I feel
like three four years ago. I mean I was with
old base, so it's like kind of no before him.
Sorry I didn't want to, I didn't know the exact timeline.
But before him, you were dating. What's the difference between
before you met him? And I don't really know because
I've always like been relationship girl, But I think this

(46:23):
time it's difficult because it's not that I'm trying. I'm
trying to find the right words, because it's true things.
Like I literally said to Vinnie when we were driving back,
we went to some fucking warehouse rave in LA and
we had a really good time, and I was in
the car with him and my flea market babe told
us about the warehouse rave right, and he was like,

(46:46):
oh my, we ran into him. He was like, oh
my god, I love him, He's so great, blah blah blah.
And when we're driving I was like, you know, I
know I'm not supposed to say it out loud, but like,
I am bored with being single. I'm really tired of it.
And I want to date. Like I know, I'm not
supposed to say it because it'll just land in my lap,
but like it's just the truth. Dating is very difficult.

(47:09):
It is, and I'm not trying to be bestimistic here,
but it's like, you know, it's not looks right, Like
it's a lot of ugly niggas happy. It's not anything
to do with like one type of person having more
than the other. Like I really believe dating in my circumstance,
with how much travel I have going on and stuff
like that, is like not easy. So and it's weird

(47:31):
because it's like it feels like lamb life, Like yo,
I'm not gonna hold you. Living in two cities is
fucking amazing. I'm in Europe every sixty days, like shit
is lit. But at the same time, it's not lit
enough because I don't have time to make, you know,
build relationships. I was even telling Liz Goldwyn, I'm supposed
to be going to her place in London and I
had something with work come up, but I was like

(47:53):
this part of me was almost happy I can't go,
and I've been wanting to see her for months with
her and we have these things we're gonna do and
it's all planned, and I'm like, I don't even want
to go, Like I just want to be in one place.
I think that what I'm looking for is someone that
like truly fits my lifestyle. The end of the day,

(48:15):
I need to make a certain amount of money. It's
requiring me to live in two places. It's requiring me
to be this busy. This is not vanity. I take
care of my parents, like moving them to LA just now.
I already see the money going up. What is my
mom like and want to do? Like she's not shopping
in Winn Dixie no more, she's that Whole Food Sprouts
Trader Joe's in LA. Like, shit's going up. And it's

(48:38):
not that it's stressing me out because I can afford it.
But I can only afford this because I live this lifestyle.
So it's kind of feeling like I can't keep thinking
that I'll just meet this guy walking down the street.
I really have to meet someone that's kind of living
the life almost like I do. Like that gets it,
because it's not easy, like meeting someone that lives in

(48:59):
one place that gets to lose their girlfriend for ten days. Yeah,
that's tough. Yeah, you know what I mean, it's tough
for me as a business partner to you, to alex
to employees like, it's really rough. So I think now
something that I'm looking for is not even dating with
intent more than I'm looking to meet someone like minded, okay,
because the intention I've always put behind going on dates,

(49:23):
and at the end of the day old they didn't
want a girlfriend, he'd been single for eight years and
ended up with me, Like, I don't really know if
if on the first date you go out there and
you're like, I'm looking for boom boom boom, boom boom,
if you go and get it out that nigga. So
I guess my approach right now is a I'm still
fucking heartbroken and working through and healing after a relationship.

(49:48):
But I realize that I have a bit of anxiety
in knowing that right now I'm not ready for a relationship,
but I definitely want to be back in one. I'm
having anxiety around going on a date or just entertaining someone,
not having much expectations out of them because I don't
want anything right now, and falling into where I am

(50:12):
showing up for this person. We're traveling we're hanging out,
we're fucking and down the line. When I'm ready for
a relationship again, they're like, well, bitch, we've been chilling.
Now you want to make it more Like with the title,
I know that I've fell into that in my past,
where things were situationships, things were casual, and then feelings
started being involved and niggas pumped the brakes like, well, bitch,

(50:36):
we was cool doing what we was doing. Now you
want more? Can I be real? This is not to
make anyone feel like shit, but you've had that scenario.
I have had that scenario where they're like, what when
you're like dating someone that's meant to be like like,
it just kind of happens. Why the fuck are we
begging these niggas? Well, it's not that I'm begging you
know what I'm saying, Not you, no, no, no, no,

(50:57):
I'm saying I mean, for anyone who's been in that
type of situation, I don't think it's we're begging to
be with them. But to me, I want to be
intentional on leaving it open and letting it be known upfront.
I would like more. I really enjoyed having just one person.
I enjoyed making plans with one person like me right
now juggling four different niggas, three that ain't even here,

(51:20):
and still trying to meet new ones because of course
my ass loves to recycle, so they're all from my past,
and I know it's not going to be anything to
me moving forward. I want to let it be known
if I'm talking to you, and if i'm investment, I
think you here to say, like what your dating aspirations are,
I would like to be with you, I will say. Also,
being in my thirties now out the gate, letting it

(51:43):
also be known I'm not really looking for marriage. I
don't want children. That's been an interesting conversation because I've
been on some really really really amazing dates and literally
they're letting me know on the first date that the
reason maybe they're single right now is because no one's
come along that they want to build a family with.
But they're looking to find someone to you know, that

(52:07):
could be that person. And immediately I'm just like, well,
good luck, because it won't be me. And so like
being in my thirties dating men around my age because
I ain't going fucking older again, it's being a little
difficult hearing everyone kind of want kids right now, and
I'm like, well, damn, I'm dating with intent, but am
I really a long term option for you? If I'm

(52:28):
telling you I don't want children and a lot of
these men don't have children yet, I'm gonna be really
with you that I forget about, but like I would
dub a nigga if they don't want kids. And see
that's where I'm just like, damn. Immediately after an amazing date,
I'm like, okay, and then there's you don't want to
change up your I don't want a kid, and there's
a ceiling to this relationship. Now. I did want to

(52:50):
ask you because over I am curious because you know,
it's always like fucking kids, fucking kids, sucking them kids
from your mouth with this like piekas vibe right, Like
we're joking about shit a lot, but like, where's a
moment in your life that you may have had where
you really sat and thought, this is my real life? No,
I mean where you thought, like not saying that you

(53:11):
would want them, but like you've maybe sat with yourself
and said like, ooh, if I meet someone that has children,
like what is this gonna look like for me? I
don't mind being a bonus mom. It ain't nothing to me,
Like they don't probably live with their mom or maybe
all day a single dad. I've never said I don't
mind being being a bonus mom. I actually, at this
point would love for a man to have kids and

(53:33):
don't want anymore. That's actually where I'm at, outside of
maybe getting a vasectomy or a nigga who swimmers don't swim.
I would love someone who has a child or two
or even three and they're like, I don't want children anymore,
and now we can exist. I don't mind being a
bonus mom, but I'm very adamant there's been no part
in my life when you think about mom or whatever,

(53:55):
like what responsibilities would you be okay with or how close?
Like what do you think you could handle? I don't know.
I haven't been that person. I mean, I can cook.
You want me to cook for your goddamn kids? Okay?
Like do we are we going out to eat together?
I don't know how to be a mom. I would
probably be very uncomfortable and not conventional in the way

(54:18):
that I speak to them, because that's me with my
with my friend's kids. Like I'm very much like I'm
talking to them like how their friend stop? So? How
old are your friend's kids? High schoolers? Like, I have
friends I have that doesn't count, Bache, I have friends
with biggers. Think of like a five year old a
six year old. You're talking to a seven year olds?
Like what, I'm not talking to seven year olds? Oh?

(54:38):
You said I have a friend with seven year old.
I have a friend with, but it's a seven year
old boy. I don't know how to what we're gonna
talk about? Stars and momswitch. I don't know. You don't
know how to talk to a kid. Hey, hey, little one,
what else are we gonna talk about? I don't know.
So I mean to be fair, that would be a
learning curve for me, But I hey, little one, oh

(55:03):
bro cartoons? Like I don't know? Bro like bit then
I'm gonna turn on big mouth. Here's a cartoon I like.
I don't know, Like I'll be honest. That would be
a learning curve for me. That for the right man,
I will let them know. I will be willing to try.
But that's tough because you know, like like I don't
remember watching a ninety fiance recently, and I know this

(55:25):
is how I'm silly for me to bring up, but
this just made me think about what she said. It
hadn't been two days ago I saw it. It was
the reunion to one of the franchises, and the guy said.
I started to realize she didn't have motherly qualities, and
I wondered if like this was gonna fit because she
didn't have motherly So what's crazy is my ex? Actually,
my ex and my friends actually think I have very

(55:47):
mothering qualities. So I feed, I'm nurturing, I'm thoughtful, I
love like, I pay attention to detail. To me, I
pay attention to detail. Attention to detail was a mothering thing.
I ain't God damn it. So to me, I'm very
thoughtful in caring for the people around me, and I
love my cat. So he's seen me with my cat.

(56:10):
I tell him, bitch, go away, but come here, come
lay with me. I feed them all time. I'm very responsible.
Is that not mother qualities? What's mother in qualities? I
think we I mean definitely like the thing you're talking about.
Someone to describe me once as a mother hen because
they were like, oh, you always want to get the
group together and make sure you're taking care of this,
like I think that that's probably whyaries, but like the

(56:33):
softness and being able to like so I will say
from my last relationship, I am thankful because to me,
from my cooking to the thoughtfulness, I genuinely believe I
was able to see how great of a partner I

(56:53):
could be for somebody. I think that when we first
started this podcast, I y'all know, I wasn't giving a
nigga chicken wings. Nigga, you want to pussy, you better
bring food over, your own gatorade, your own water. I
wasn't giving you girlfriend quality or any of that. And
to me, now I know how great I could be
as a partner, and I was that for him. I

(57:13):
was thoughtful in everything. I was able to not put
myself first, which to me, I've been a very selfish person.
I was able to see how much I can put
someone before myself, which to me I literally brought up
in therapy. I said, I realize now what my value

(57:33):
is and what I'm worthy of because I now have
become the best version of myself, especially in that relationship.
So to me, now I'm just trying not to I'm
trying not to resent showing up in that way and
getting the butt end of the stick and feeling like
I was shitting on and all of these things. Because
I know how good I showed up for him. I

(57:54):
would just like to know that I could show up
for someone who fucking deserves broke up with him and
stayed broken up which time the seven eight? But this
is my this is something that's like interesting, right because
it could sound shady, but there's a point to it.
You said this nigga wasn't ship maybe after a third breakup, right,

(58:15):
I don't know him just saying the number, and you
took him back. Would you have even gotten here if
you didn't take him back? You know what I mean,
I'll be honest, just like if you've learned these things
about yourself. It may have come with all the time
taking which which I and I was like almost in tears,
and you know, because of what happened when we were
I thought we was gonna talk about it on next
time we are we are, but which we are? But

(58:40):
to me, I realized there was a part of myself
that was lying to myself, that also believed in what
he told me, what he manipulated. Lulu, you need to
believe he was the best I could get right, and

(59:00):
so based on my interactions with men in my twenties,
him making me feel so good and literally while accepting
the bare minimum, really he made me believe this was
the best I could get, and so no other man
was going to do what he was doing for me.
I literally found the person who was going to make

(59:21):
me happy. And if I went out and was single again,
which is what my fear was of dating every time,
if I went out again and started dating, I would
never find him. So I was just I just kept
being drawn to going back to what he made me
believe was the best I could get. And I think
in hindsight, I started lying to myself. I started realizing, oh,

(59:44):
I'm not questioning him, I'm not really holding him accountable
for anything in fear that he's going to leave me.
Because now that I feel so great about myself, I
finally have also gotten the partner that is the best
that I'm able to get because of my past, because
of this podcast, because of who I was. He literally
put those thoughts into my head that no one else

(01:00:06):
would walk me that Nigga was Jonah Hill probably probably,
but I wouldn't be real though, like I did think
that when people do that, it reflects for a lot
of themselves, like and this is why we can't put
men on a pedestal, bitch, do we You did? Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
the pedestal. No. I think I brought myself down for

(01:00:31):
my own self value. So wasn't him being put on
this pedestal. It was me really sitting in what he
made me believe that I could not get any better.
So to me it was I was I was shrinking myself. No,
I mean when you talk about him like he's this,
he's that, like besides cute and tall, like the things

(01:00:51):
that we're all uncovering now about your relationship. As we
listen and as we hear these shitty things, it's like,
I'll be honest with you. He again, with the bare minimum,
made me feel good. And so I think because of
how I felt with him during our highs, I ignored
how low I felt and how how much my tears hurt,

(01:01:12):
and how bad I felt during the lows. To me,
I just kept chasing those highs. And let's be let's
be clear. On the podcast, I talked about a lot
the lack of intimacy that I received my situationships. I
barely kissed the niggas I fucked. I didn't get the
cuddle time or the sessions. I didn't get the affection
that I realized really made me feel so good. And

(01:01:35):
so it was literally affection that had me on this high.
And I'm just like, to me, I told you is
a drug. I hate it being and when you can't
stop chasing that high. It was a high that I
was chasing. It literally was I know, the feeling a high.
It's crazy because the love that I felt in my lifetime,

(01:01:56):
I like, oof. I think about it with Hospit Little
Dick a lot, mainly because I'm like, oh my god,
Like I let that go because of XYZ, because I
let my brain get in and say, well I need
to have this, I need to do this, I need
to do this, And it makes me wonder like do
you get that again? Do you just keep chasing it forever?

(01:02:16):
Am I projecting that onto other people? Or like, I
don't know, but it's tough because there really isn't anything
that can duplicate it. Like love to me sounds like
this thing. I heard a crackheads say once, I'm not
even playing it. They were like the reason that you
get so deep into crack or whatever drug is because
nothing is as good as the first high. Well, and

(01:02:39):
y'all know, this was my first time telling a man
I loved him. This was my first real relationship, and
so a part of me even continuing to go back
was what I've seen in relationships. It's people fight, they
break up, they get back together. So I was going
off of what I believed a relationship is. Relationships aren't easy.

(01:02:59):
You have to work at it. No one's gonna be perfect.
So a part of me just kept thinking, Okay, if
I do this, if I switched this, if I communicate this,
it'll get better, without really knowing that or without the
mindset that Mandy, there's maybe nothing that you can do
to really make him show up. There. We have to
dump these niggas bro oh and did like and did?

(01:03:22):
We have to dump them when we say it, and
if we don't stick by that, this is when they
do it again. And there again. There's an again that
I'm thirteen, that went around about a dude. It was
a famous nigga, I don't know who was, They're not
that famous, but he was like talking to this girl.
He was like oh if I cheat know you you
ain't leaving? Did you see that? Oh? Yeah, yeah, yeah?

(01:03:43):
Who was Keisha's ye boyfriend? She was like, what do
you mean? I live? And he even he meant it
and she meant it and she laughed like she's not leaving. No,
that shit hurt me watching it. No, I'm not gonna
lie because it was. And he came back and doubled
down like he wasn't a cheater. Bitch. Everything about that
was you be out your cheek nowhere, And to me,

(01:04:04):
I think that that's where I think maybe my ex
thought that same thing of me, bitch, you gonna bitch,
but you go at thirteen, you gonna come crawling back anyway.
But now no mo, But y'all, thirteen cities left? Actually
there are There are actually thirteen cities last see and
real quick, if you're looking at the calendar, it says twelve.

(01:04:27):
But we're adding a show, you guys. We may have
announced it by now, but we are looking at a
show and just know it's gonna require a passport stamp.
But you know it's like we've been there. Yeah, we'll
update y'all on that. But again, if you are looking
to see us live. Baby, We are on the Climax Tour,
which will be your last time to see us on

(01:04:50):
a tour. Okay, now on YouTube, but on a tour,
this is gonna be the last time. So make sure
y'all go over to Poorhive dot com, y'all. The next
places we are hitting is the West Coast and it's
given not only California Love, but Phoenix love and Seattle Love.

(01:05:10):
So y'all, we are hitting Seattle September seventh at the
Neptune Theater, September ninth, San Francisco at Beambos, September fourteenth,
we are in LA at the Palace Theater, and then
September fifteenth, we are in Phoenix, Arizona, and it starts
all the niggas I fucked with to the LA Show?
Are you really? Yes? Really? Why not? You're gonna bring

(01:05:31):
them on stage? No? Oh no no. So if you
guys want to bully show dreads and the motherfucker audience
of LA they hers, Oh no, Lambo's coming to Atlanta.
Oh oh, you were writing all your little hoes. Look
you want to eat me so bad? That was me
last turn? Why think Lambo, baby Mama? He was like, oh,
when you're gonna meet in Atlanta? I heard you was coming.

(01:05:51):
I was like, remember she listened to the show. I
was like, are you kidding me? Like, are you like?
I haven't talked to him for so long? He was like,
I'm coming, and I'm like it's I'm like, no, if
I'm gonna some shit, I don't know, nigga, you lie
because Atlanta is definitely in October. Whatever, bitch. What I
know is if that nigga comes, I feel like maybe
he'll come up and do a couple of game. Bitch,
I'm gonna say, skirt skirt shout out to the Lambeau drivers.

(01:06:14):
I think bitches are gonna know who he is. Oh, probably,
I think he's one of those. Well, y'all, make sure
you also subscribe and support us on our patreon that
is patreon dot com backslash horor Blade Decisions, and we
are not eighteen plus now, thank god, so you should
be able to find us when you search us. Hopefully

(01:06:35):
the don't switch it back, but make sure you go
again to Patreon dot comic Slash Horrible Decisions and this
has been yet another episode of horrible decisions. Let y'all,
bye bye,