EP 335: One D--k Until Death (Ft. Mark Gagnon)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Guess what decision we're about to make.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Horrible decision.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Time for a white boys.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
Hey guys, welcome, oh my god, to horrible fucking decisions.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Did you get y'all?

Speaker 3 (00:18):
Like?

Speaker 1 (00:18):
I'm Mandy.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Also, it's like he's white, but he showed up four
minutes late, so it's give us cepe time.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
So you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (00:26):
Oh yeah, I was like not having a black guest
coming on time, but the white boy was late.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
That's crazy rat appropriation. That's my bad. I'm sorry the appropriation.

Speaker 3 (00:38):
But y'all welcome to another episode of horrible decisions. I'm
your girl, Mandy b aka Bitch aka Pull cor Punks
aka Peg aka peg and Marco and all the things.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
What go ahead?

Speaker 4 (00:49):
I'm Leavy and uh, let's see, Dick, should we do
a white guy run down on who we've had?

Speaker 1 (00:55):
You always want to do this.

Speaker 4 (00:56):
I'm trying to remember because I feel like white women
now we've got a few, because we have to actually
hot take. I feel like friendship wise, I can't really
fuck with white girls, but white guys, I'm cool with
white women. Kind of feel a little like I want
to read you guys. A text from a woman on
a plane oh, let's go met a woman on a plane.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
Actually you read it. Look how we start off. She
was like, you want to grab a drink? Sometimes?

Speaker 2 (01:22):
I was like, yeah, sure, just because it can't last.

Speaker 4 (01:24):
I was pissed.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
Okay, so this is just a white women you met.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
On a plane.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
We were sitting next to each other and she's like,
oh my god, we should grab a drink sometime. I'm like, okay,
but you know i'd be busy. I'm trying to grab
drinks of my friends.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
Okay, so you sent your name and then she goes,
what's up, bitch, it's Carara from Lax Red Eye. I
really enjoyed talking to you. If you're around and feel
like meeting for a drink and listening to rap music
and playing basketball. If not, no worries. Hope the week
is off to a great start. Why would say that
she's at her forties. She did not say this. She

(01:54):
did it? Wait wait did you?

Speaker 2 (02:00):
She was like, oh, hey girl, let's grab a drink.

Speaker 4 (02:02):
Read the next sext because I didn't reply to her
within six days.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
Oh wow, the next sext is crazy. Okay. So she
just basically was like, yo, let's get a drink and
then she goes, I'm so not a fan of fake people.
Your true colors came through loud and clear.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
White woman shit, bro well does this because you didn't
respond to the stranger with her saying let's go get
some drinks.

Speaker 4 (02:23):
I'm not saying I never would, but like I just
kind of was having a week.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yeah, oh my true colors. Really you don't think I'm
about to go crazy.

Speaker 4 (02:31):
I thought about it, but then I was like, you
know what, it's such a good thing I never met
up with her for drinks because if you're the type
of person to act like that.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
Oh, you know. And and then I realized, like this.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
Is why I don't really know, Like I really don't
know white women like that.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
What was the subtext of you exchanging numbers with this woman?

Speaker 4 (02:46):
We were right next to each other, like so you
know when you're like you have to share that tooth
that pod in the middle. Yeah, So it was like
Nina and We're talking and dogs and like we're just
getting along and that was it.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
But it was only like while people were boarding.

Speaker 4 (02:58):
It was a red eye, Right, you sleep the rest
of the time, right, She was like, oh, co you
should grab a train, And I was like Okay, what
I'm gonna say, No, Oh my god, And I actually
might have because she said she had a man she.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
Was gonna hook me up with.

Speaker 4 (03:09):
But then she's like, oh, well he's a lot older.
I'm like, what, like fortyes, She's like, no, like fifties,
and I was like.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
Okay, listen, I don't think wepisode anywhere. You never even
introduced the goddamn white man. Guests they hear him.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
His name is Mark.

Speaker 4 (03:24):
So I feel like we've had every kind of We've
had Alex on. I was gonna say, we've had every
flagrant member on, but.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
You, oh wow, we've had We've had Andrew.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
We had Gas and oh gosh and Jazz.

Speaker 4 (03:39):
Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, you're the only
flagrant member that has like a wife or girlfriend that like,
I don't follow her no.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
Oh wow, I'm a flirt now. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
By the way, that I did want to ask, respectfully,
of course, to your wife, is this the type of
white man.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
That you would date?

Speaker 3 (03:57):
Because you told me we the you talk about types
of white man, it's given if you were black, you'd
be her type of black man because she likes the
artsy black guys.

Speaker 4 (04:07):
You know what, white guys are like long hair, but
a lot of people do. Like people have like a
long hair thing. I think that's why I probably like dreads.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
I like long hair.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
You also look like you you look.

Speaker 4 (04:17):
Clean, but you look like you wouldn't shower, you know.
Oh yeah, it's that kind of it's the clean dirt look.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Well do you like do you not like a guy
that's too clean? Have you ever heard this before? My
wife explained to me, She's like, I don't like a
guy that's too clean, who's too clean? Give me like
someone who has like a perfectly faded haircut, and like
eyebrows perfectly.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
So metro so that I wouldn't consider clean, but like
metro sexual men, so like the ones that have very
clean eyebrows or shave their legs or.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Shave their legs.

Speaker 4 (04:47):
Guys shake their legs.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Girl, That's why I don't be with the Puerto Ricans. Yeah,
I'm gonna talk about y'all. The Latino men may be
out here with smoother, smoother legs and arms than me
hunt And I'm just saying, yes, I like listen when
I talk about when you talk about all races, you're
not offensive.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
Do you watch your letters? Talk about everyone. Yeah, I
just learned about that, learned about what. I'm not playing
with you?

Speaker 4 (05:10):
No, okay wait wait wait, I'm laughing because I'm thinking
of myself. He's like me, remember where I'm at, and
let's keep the followers coming.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
Yeah my legs, yeah yeah, okay, Now I recently learned
about washing my legs because growing up, you don't do that.
What you just go SuDS, shampoo, bratch, armpit, arm pick,
get out?

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Is that true?

Speaker 4 (05:28):
No, when you're a kid, I'm asking no, thank you
for the tracks because I didn't know it was just white.

Speaker 3 (05:34):
So wait, you completely so you don't go even to
your feet unless there's something on my feet to wow, crazy.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
If I was playing barefoot, maybe I would. I would
watch my foot maybe once, depending, I would watch my
dirty foot? Are you a comedian? By the way, let
me go ahead.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
You're all right, so we know I'm not gonna believe
anything you say.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
But also you're a man, so I wasn't gonna believe
anything you said it.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
Exactly yes, oh damnit, man to break up. This is
this is right energy though, even especially the white ones.

Speaker 4 (06:06):
So Mark is from the Camp Gagnon podcast and Flagrant
Too so you started a new podcast. What's a new
pot about.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
It's called camp. So basically it's just me talking most
interesting people in the world. Literally every day I sit
down across from someone that is completely outside of my
area of knowledge and expertise and we just talked for
like four hours.

Speaker 4 (06:21):
You know what's fucked up?

Speaker 1 (06:22):
So the Joe Rogan model, Yeah, literally, like I saw,
like I listened to Joe talk about like his day
where he was like, Okay, I wake up, I take
my kids to school, I work out for an hour.
I talked to Elon Musk for three hours. I go
pick my kids up from school and hang out with
them and then go to do stand up and I
was like, I want to do that. Wow, So like, yeah,
I do that on Wednesday Thursday, and they do flagrant
that it is.

Speaker 4 (06:41):
I saw Mark post a clip of a guy saying
I get paid to teach men how to beat up women,
and I immediately knew it was a DOM and I
was like, oh, this is like.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
My type of Yeah.

Speaker 4 (06:52):
But anyway, I recently saw him and Andrew do a
show together, and I mean, obviously it was amazing, Like
you know, it's no joke or if there's there's no comparison.
I think when it comes to like YouTube and podcasters
and stand up, like you guys have really got that unlocked.
But it was great, So y'all shul check out a
show when you can't.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
Now.

Speaker 4 (07:12):
The reason I wanted to have Mark on is because
it hit me all the flagrant guys are wife up
now and I've never gotten the energy from you that
you've only been with one woman in your life. But
it's crazy because when I reminded myself about it, I
was like, yeah, I have to talk about this a
horrible because Akash gave me virgin vibes.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
Yes, you seems like you ran through.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
Them and then we're like, oh I found my love. Yeah. Yeah,
people have said that no one really believes it, but like,
why would I lie about being a loser cause you're
a man.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Because you're a man. Sometimes it might get you more pussy,
you know.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
But do girls want to bang like a virgin?

Speaker 3 (07:50):
Like?

Speaker 1 (07:50):
Is that? Like? Is that like a woman into that? Well?

Speaker 4 (07:52):
Did you have an ugly pace?

Speaker 1 (07:54):
I mean I was giraffe looking as a high schooler.
I was like, lanky gang, Okay you turned into this?

Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah that was have you ever fucked the virgin.

Speaker 4 (08:03):
I'm not sure.

Speaker 3 (08:03):
I don't think so I did, really yeah, and it
was awful. He tried to keep going, but I knew
he came, and he came so fucking fast.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
I said, I'll never do this again.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
Well no, like I think he tried to pretend he
kept going, and I'm just like, sir, the condom will
I feel you came, It's okay, but like get out
and likeyw like, because if you keep trying to fuck
after you come into condom, the condom is going to
come off. And I felt it because even the pumps
got slower, and it felt give sympathy for see, I

(08:35):
would girl even worse. I was really an ain't ship
bitch because then I ended up sucking his brother and
his brother had great dick.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
These were his brother was a.

Speaker 4 (08:48):
But yeah, hold on, yeah, I knew that you fucked brothers,
but it was and one of them I took.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
And why did I took his virginity? I've shared this
on the show before. It's the only.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
Burgon I ever fucked. I think I was like seventeen.

Speaker 3 (09:02):
I was in like I was a junior in high school,
and so I took his virginity and it was awful.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
How many asked virginities have you taken?

Speaker 1 (09:10):
Oh? Ask virginities? A lot? I can't.

Speaker 3 (09:14):
Okay, now, well that's what a finger but like pegging wise,
I know I took two two of like the five.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
Have you your ass virginity yet? No? Not not not
penetrative but with the tongue just a little wickedly No
not even that, not even but like like you.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Wiped your ass after you ship.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
So ye, what are you smack? Ring? Ring the doorbell?
You know what I mean? Like but not like I
don't you know what I mean? No, one's going in
the home. No, not yet.

Speaker 4 (09:44):
She just raised the hand during head Yeah yeah, yeah,
basically he said, ring.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
The door the doorbell and not go.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
But you know what, ringing the doorbell is a real
light tap. No, what's crazy is we have a white guest.
So I was about to get into nigga knocking, but we.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
Can't look through that. She would do it and she
would run away. We don't even talk about it again. Yeah,
it's like she was on like an iPhone, like she
would you know what I mean, Like it was a
real light press.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Mandy has a thing about knuckles that she brought them
and they was thanking me for that little tip.

Speaker 3 (10:17):
So under the gooch, she can just take her knuckle
and rub it underneath your balls and right by your assholes.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
State massaging. Well, no, past is inside. It's got to
be in the protad.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
The G spot is inside. The prostate G spot is inside.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
That's correct. But you can't you can't access through the outside.
It can't be like a No, that's just like when
you dry hump. That's like all of that is just like.

Speaker 4 (10:41):
I came from dry humping recently and it fucking embarrassed
me because I've talked about this on them.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
You're just a child.

Speaker 4 (10:47):
This.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
I think it's because of scissoring.

Speaker 3 (10:49):
Oh wait, that makes sense, which I think is the
most pointless thing ever.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
Swizzering. Yeah, clothes on like dry hump. This is We're
happy guest. If you had to pick, it's way more interesting.

Speaker 4 (11:04):
I was so horny.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
Okay, no sex or no head for a year.

Speaker 1 (11:10):
I mean I'm married, Okay, well which one I'm already doing?
No head? What kind of questions?

Speaker 3 (11:17):
Wait, you get married, you don't get your dick sad,
It's just like real quick.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
No, no, no, no, but no, we do. We get intomate.
But it's uh, I probably picked yeah, I probably picked
no head for sure, not because that's just like so
self serving. Like sex at least is mutually bonding, you
know what I mean, Like the relationship being a giver,
that's true.

Speaker 4 (11:35):
But I do feel like a lot of men prefer
for a head over sex.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah, because being service is way better than having to give, right,
Like why like why would I do anything if I
could just sit here and just have the best time ever?
Because like otherwise you're asking me to get sweaty and move.
But I think that the mutual like effort is what
brings two people closer together.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Teamwork, oh my god, makes the dream work.

Speaker 4 (11:57):
What what would be the spiciest thing that could happen
with you and your wife?

Speaker 1 (12:02):
And would you want Mandy and I.

Speaker 4 (12:03):
To help you get there?

Speaker 1 (12:04):
That could happen that you would want? Okay, maybe there
maybe be roleplay.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
What's something you haven't done yet?

Speaker 1 (12:13):
Well, one thing I haven't done yet is like, so
my wife and I we've been married for a few years,
but we haven't been like explicitly trying to have a kid,
you know what I mean, We can't help you dead.

Speaker 2 (12:25):
Oh wait, you want cream pot tips.

Speaker 1 (12:27):
That's what it's given. But it's like, I think that
would be the most like uh, sexually fulfilling type of intimacy.
You could have what like baby making in life or
like with her during sex. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (12:43):
So I just recently slept with someone that told me
they have a breeding kink.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
I swear to god, this is what the guy that
I'm going.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Wait, break it break think is what.

Speaker 4 (12:53):
So basically I don't think it's a complete breeding kink.
I don't think he knows what he's saying. But basically
on our second date, he was like we went to
Dumbo house and he was like, you look like i'd
get you pregnant that and I was like, what, Like,
we're not even preging, Like he brought it up. Then
the third time I saw him, he brought up something
about me getting pregnant.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
And then before we had sex.

Speaker 4 (13:15):
I was like, don't bring up the pregnant ship and
he was like, yo, I say that a lot, but
I don't mean it, and he's like, my brain just
goes there. I think I have like a thing about
like meeting a bait pregnant.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yeah, does he have kids? No, maybe he wants them,
that's all. I don't think it's a breeding.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
No turned on at it. How old is he?

Speaker 2 (13:37):
I don't want to say. I'm scared of bitches going
to figure out.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
Who he is. But he was saying how old he's
talking to?

Speaker 4 (13:43):
Bitch just figured out who I was fucking by age description.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
I said he'd be at the flea market room.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
Figure it out.

Speaker 2 (13:51):
It's awful. I followed his bad like literally.

Speaker 3 (13:55):
Someone wrote on the YouTube, Oh, I know who green
eyes is, but I ain't gonna tell y'all.

Speaker 4 (14:00):
Bruh.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
And I'm like, look, you just don't follow anybody with
green eyes that I'm even. I don't want to like
a green eyed nigga. I don't want nobody to figure
nothing out.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
I gave too much.

Speaker 4 (14:09):
I said that this guy meditated with me, and some
bitch called and was like, I know it with you.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
Oh, that one's easy to figure out though. It's just
a guy looks like me. I feel like you know
what I mean, like, oh, yeah, he has long hair,
a man bun. You didn't look like you, but blood,
that's what I'm saying, Like that, that's a dead giveaway age.

Speaker 4 (14:24):
So no, I was gonna say, like the breeding kink
thing that he has, like always talking about it. I
was like, oh, if you're talking more about it like
in a hot way, like yeah, also, I don't know,
this is really nasty talking about like steemen, like filling up,
like talking about cream pies, like using words about com
I feel like constantly talking about com even though I

(14:46):
have like a kink for it. If I was trying
to get pregnant, it'd be like the perfect time.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
Yeah, probably you should be talking about it.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
I mean to me, having sex while trying to have
a baby is really just planning to have sex around
when an app tells.

Speaker 1 (14:58):
You she's ovulating. Yeah, literally, it's.

Speaker 4 (15:00):
Like literally not that much, but still have like a
lot of time, right, so you have twenty four hours
that you're like primetime ovulating. But you know it can
live in there, like you could still.

Speaker 1 (15:08):
It could live in there and can't live in there.

Speaker 3 (15:10):
That's why you got Planning is a sci fi movie
literally going there for you know, it's alien.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
You don't feel like you're too young for kids now
twenty six too young for kids? No, I'm I'm down.
I think it'd be fun. I'm ready to have a kid.

Speaker 4 (15:25):
It could be fun.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, I have a kid. It would be awesome, just
like a little buddy watching a dog. Yet I have
a cat. They're not the same. I have a cat, yeah,
but I think a cat and a kid basically, no,
they're not.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
You could leave a cat for a couple of days.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
You work from home and the same thing exactly. So
I'm gree with you. Let's go honestly, podcasts.

Speaker 4 (15:42):
People like, I feel like you don't work that much.
You do, like obviously, like it takes a lot of work.
You know, I'm saying like you don't work outside the
house that much. I mean, we do events, we're out
doing things like we have separate businesses. But podcasters, that's
a really and you can bring.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Your kid to work, That's what I'm saying. I'll tell
you my babies with me. I don't care.

Speaker 3 (16:01):
I am bringing nothing to make noise to hear. Niggas
shut up. They don't shut.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
Up, you know. Told the rapper, Yeah, he takes his
kids everywhere on tour. They're playing, hanging out with him
on stage. That's why I'm there. The kids are tod
The kids, I know, I know you're talking about the
kids are like I don't know three four, Yeah, I
don't count. Yeah, no, I'll take them. But I think
does everyone have a breeding fetish? I feel like a
breeding fetish is just like what you should have. No,

(16:27):
I feel like like that. I think all humans should be. Like.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
I don't ever say, oh, I want you to get
me pregnant. No, I've definitely said to put a baby
in me and did not mean it.

Speaker 1 (16:35):
Like so you're a liar, that's no. Your biology is
telling you things in your brain.

Speaker 4 (16:39):
Over I was like getting really hard and I was like, oh, yeah,
I don't know what was wrong. And you said, oh,
put a baby may then I definitely was like, why
would you do that?

Speaker 1 (16:49):
I want it fucking serious? No, out of here. Have
you ever had sex with the intention of having a kid. Never?
I don't want to kid me.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
I will want kicker right all out, but want kid.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
I never had I plan be queen if I have
to be.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
And now I realize, like, moving forward, I want a
man with a a sex me. I need him neutered.
I don't want to be with a man who can.

Speaker 3 (17:12):
Make kids, or I want them to be in a
place where they have enough already that they're like nah,
I don't want no more than love mother fucus.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
Oh wow, so you'll be like a stepmom. Yeah, but
they need to be a certain age. Oh okay, you wouldn't.
You wouldn't be in vaulved.

Speaker 2 (17:25):
Like, damn, we gotta go. I've gotta see him on
the weekend.

Speaker 4 (17:28):
The aquarium I like.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
I like whales, so no aquarium with them. I like
roller coasters, so okay.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
We can agree, like an awesome month. But I can't
take them to the bar with me. So what we doing?
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (17:43):
I can't be like, hey, can I don't want to
do shrews with me today?

Speaker 1 (17:45):
Like what are we doing together? You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (17:48):
I do like cartoons, but it's like big mouth.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
I like adult cartoons, but kids can watch that. I
watch adult swim when I was a kid, and I'm
we did and.

Speaker 3 (17:54):
Look how we all came out. Like I think people
are being trying to be more intentional. Thought they raised
their today.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
If I got pregnant tomorrow, I do want kids.

Speaker 4 (18:04):
I'm like, I would hate it because I'm not dating
anybody seriously, so I'd be like, damn, I don't want
to abort this. But like we don't know.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
I know said put a baby in me. But now
this one's a hard one.

Speaker 4 (18:16):
You ready if you had to swap wives for a
week with one of your co hosts.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
Were you out of your mind?

Speaker 2 (18:25):
White Spot? You remember the show?

Speaker 1 (18:29):
I feel like Jack Lee would cook.

Speaker 2 (18:31):
No, you can't give him the answer. Let him answer?

Speaker 1 (18:36):
What is like? What are we talking about? Can we
set the ground rules for this question?

Speaker 4 (18:39):
Because okay, you have to swap wives, you have to
live with one of your co host wives for a week.
Who would you swap with?

Speaker 1 (18:47):
It has to be a co host on the couch,
that's the question. Why don't you think? Well, I don't know.
I'm trying to think of like a caveat where I'm like, Okay,
Miles might have a girlfriend or something. Maybe I'll swap
with him someone No one knows. There's no way, there's
no way, like what what? What could be like a
hypothetical answer that would not give me in trouble.

Speaker 4 (19:08):
We're saying, you don't them, you gotta live with them.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
Who would be a good roomy?

Speaker 2 (19:13):
I said Jessleen because of the food.

Speaker 1 (19:15):
Oh yeah, she's a good cook.

Speaker 4 (19:17):
I mean, but she's the only person that calls I
was like.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
You know, Andrew wife's excellent cook.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
Also, oh, that's right, she do be cooking like a mother.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
So it's basically like, who do you want to cook
for you? That's the question. We didn't limited these women
how good they cooked. Yeah, wow, they're a really good fla.
Remember now I have a misogynists.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
It's giving misogynists. You're bringing up all these women cook.

Speaker 4 (19:41):
Here's my type. So I would say, I mean, Al's
girl I'm closest to.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
Body wise, it's her.

Speaker 4 (19:51):
I like, I like a butt, I like hips, but
also she's like I don't know. Then I feel like
Jessline just because I've always want to end up with
a brown girl. But at the same time, I feel
like she'd be putting Akosh through it. So I don't know.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
She looked like she run that house, and she probably.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
Like run me.

Speaker 4 (20:08):
And I can't handle women that could like really run
my shit because they will like I'll give you everything.

Speaker 1 (20:13):
That might be good. Though she's very organized. It might
be good. Structure might be organized. Yeah, I feel like
I would want to go out and she'd be like,
are you out of.

Speaker 4 (20:19):
Your fucking mind?

Speaker 1 (20:20):
But that might be good for you, Like she seems
like the only one she needs. Somebody telling us as
don't yeah, you might need that ass.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
Let's get into vanilla shit.

Speaker 4 (20:32):
Our vanilla shit is our news segment where basically we
find sex in the news. Now, I'm going to get
into the one from this week, but I want to
tell you about the one from last week because it
was a few weeks ago. Actually, Yeah, Mandy and I
found one where it was basically a New York post
that dug into some crazy reddits, and one of them was,

(20:53):
my wife has a terminal illness. She wants to have
sex with her ex one last time. Now, in your case,
I'm guessing you both took each other's virginities. But I'm
sure she had an ex boyfriend elementary somewhere, high school.
If your wife was dying in nine months, apparently the
woman was going to be bed ridden within four months,
would you let are you hitting it?

Speaker 1 (21:12):
No?

Speaker 2 (21:15):
You don't care about her happiness.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
That's crazy. Minde and I were talking about this. She
got she started to make me turn the other way.

Speaker 3 (21:21):
I said, no too, bro, let her be happy before
she leaves this earth.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
She's like, yo, I'm never going to keep it from.

Speaker 4 (21:30):
What if it was just another dick.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
Yeah, Na, but you gotta understand though I wouldn't. I
wouldn't marry someone who's like on their deathbed thinking about
other dick.

Speaker 3 (21:41):
No, well, no, already married, been living life, lovely together.
She gets the news, the cream pie work, you got kids,
and literally she's like, I'm about to leave this earth,
but before I do, I would really like to try
this man out.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
And she's been solid our entire marriage. She's been so
solid because that's.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
A little but no now knowing that y'all are y'all too,
y's first virginity, bro. Before I leave this earth, I
kind of want to see what other dig is out there.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
I want to know what it's like.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Here's my whole life. If my wife said that to me,
I'd be like, the drugs are too strong. We gotta
up the drugs or take them down or something. Because
whatever type of cocktailer a getting right now is making
your brain break. Okay, she wants a cocktail.

Speaker 4 (22:24):
Wait, so you've in no world? Do you just think
she can't just have one crazy girl's night out? Your
wife seems so sweet and innocent. I can't picture it happening,
So I understand why you think the drugs are too strong.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
That's what I'm saying. I married someone of those very sweet,
innocent She's gonna be a great moment to my babies.
We're gonna have a great life together. We're gonna build
this awesome. She can do all that and want another
before she leaves this. She can want anything she wants.

Speaker 2 (22:51):
I'm not saying it's Jason Love Adamsent two. I'm just
saying maybe it's somebody else.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
In Williamsburg, Geo's acidic Wisburg. She finds an older Jewish
man and and just lays it down, curly hairs, just
kinda keep it exactly exactly. It's in the genre. Now,
what about you?

Speaker 4 (23:07):
You?

Speaker 1 (23:08):
Oh, I'm allowed to yeah, man, man in a nutshell.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
No.

Speaker 4 (23:15):
I said no because I was like, if I'm wiping
your ass and ship and then suddenly you're like, I
want some new pussy. Oh you got to go.

Speaker 3 (23:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
I hope you're trying to bank someone that's that's wealthy.
But I'm not paying for any more medical bills. I'm
not paying for nothing. I'm let my partners have sex
with other women already. So you about to die and
you want another one? Okay, that's what I'm saying. It's
not that the ex emo. I feel like emotional cheating.

Speaker 3 (23:37):
You're gonna die in nine months, go ahead, go ahead,
what with an ex an X they really love. I'm
already gonna have to grieve you being not on this
goddamn earth anymore.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
I think that's gonna trump me caring if you went
and fuck your head throw infidelity in there. Who cares
this point, I'm gonna be just sad.

Speaker 4 (23:57):
Let me be in my help, like you help me
get over it, you.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
Man.

Speaker 4 (24:05):
I just found out a few weeks ago, Yeah, that
her ex liide about beating cancer to get sympathy out here.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
On top of the other women that he was cheating
on me with.

Speaker 3 (24:15):
He was using all of his names, his first, middle,
and last, so like when I was meeting them, they
knew him by a whole different name.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
Oh yeah, just he lied about beating cancer to you, no,
to other people to get this sympathy, to get their sympathy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
Literally I got told that. I said, how he get
it and beat it in four months.

Speaker 4 (24:37):
You know what makes it funnier the fact that he
told people.

Speaker 1 (24:45):
But like you just get pretty easily.

Speaker 3 (24:49):
But also he's attractive as fuck. You don't have to
make any of these lies up for sympathy or whatever.
But it's okay, I looked into it. He's a narcissist
and that's a part of.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
Yeah. No, also narcissists.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
We know the narcissists, right, No, narcissists.

Speaker 1 (25:06):
Are bad people.

Speaker 3 (25:08):
Yeah, they are really bad people. So none of them
are like normal, like they're really bad.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
People, maybe like Derek Jackson. Okay, they're like yeah, because
there's people that exhibit narcissisic tendencies at times, Yeah, temporary
narciss but.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
Ones that are like full like not create all of
these different things and always play victim and never see
anything wrong. You can't hold them accountable. They also don't
have the ability to realistically attached to somebody that.

Speaker 4 (25:34):
That was one of the craziest things that you've told
me thus far. And what was crazier about it, Like
when talking about breakup, we've both gotten so emotional on
the show, right, and Mandy's literally tearing up, And then
when she brought up the cancer, I was like, I can't.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
They just like he didn't wait, I hate down but
didn't say it to you though, Did he lie to you.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
No, no.

Speaker 4 (25:56):
He lied.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
Oh no, he lied to me about everybody. Not not cheating,
but like, did he lie to you about like any
fun stories, like anything about his life?

Speaker 4 (26:03):
I thought, that's a good idea. Wait, will you ever
have like a life accomplishment that might not be true
now or something?

Speaker 3 (26:07):
So I'm questioning his entire Oh yeah, I'm literally now
like questioning.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
His entire and I'll see why he doesn't have social media.

Speaker 3 (26:18):
He don't got that he don't And I realized too
met very few friends, like he doesn't have many friends
at all. I met him through a mutual friend, but
then their relationship wasn't what I thought it was when
I first met them. Both been to his house, right, yeah,
his like life, I completely questioned all of it.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
Wow, and that sucks for you now because like your
whole sense of reality shifted.

Speaker 3 (26:45):
Oh yeah, that's why I'm fucked up now, like because
I'm like, damn, I really just loved a nigga for
three years. Thought he was my soulmate years three years,
no cancer in between, Ye, shut the fuck up. Thought
he was my soulmate and had an envision of a
forever with somebody that I thought could be the who
I knew he could be.

Speaker 4 (27:05):
Watch the TV show and there's like moms or people
there and even spouses.

Speaker 1 (27:10):
They're like, my husband could never do this. There's no
way he committed this crime. Oh yeah, no.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
I feel like I'm one of those parents that didn't
see that my child was a serial killer. And I'm
like cow and I missed almost sons, Like there's no
way these parents didn't see serial killer tendency.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Those squirrels died on natural causes in the yard. No, literally,
you weren't. Didn't see a murdering them with a Pelagon's
so sweet.

Speaker 4 (27:37):
Honestly, the kid, the kids that killed the animals. When
I watched Don't Fuck with Cats, I was like, yeah,
that shit wro.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
I'd be scared when Nina I'd be going outside and
the little background dammers started he was doing that or
yeah it was dummer for it, like he started doing.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
That small animals, Layton bed wedding, Layton bed wedding, so
like peeing the bed up until like a later age
like that's a serial killer fifteen Yeah, really why? I
think it's like insecure attachment, like nervous system just regulation
ship like that. I don't really know that's just what people. Well,
we was out here pissing in beds. Oh my god,
I dry.

Speaker 3 (28:12):
It doesn't matter you the bed. As an adult, you
might you might have serial killer tendencies. Bro.

Speaker 4 (28:16):
He wanted me to do it.

Speaker 3 (28:19):
He said, well, she really had to pee, and he said,
well you don't have to get so maybe he.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
Was a serial killer. Why My girl watched some of
serial killer shows and she says something to that pissed
me off so much because she was like, I like
watching the shows where the husband snaps and kills the
whole family. And I was like what, She's like, oh,
the ones that I'll watch. She's like, sometimes I'll watch
them sometimes I want, but if I'm gonna watch, I
don't want to be a random guy that killed someone.

(28:45):
I wanted to be like the husband snapped And I
was like why and she's like, because that would never
happen to me. And now I was like, are you
really g checking me right out? Like like she checked
my life?

Speaker 2 (28:55):
You want to get pregnant, You're gonna get pregnant right,
definitely called.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
You pussy, right, you pussy Yeah, as long as she
thinks you're just so kind, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
I get I'm gasling, you'll never snap. Yeah, gaslight he's
so fun. You gasolate yourself kind.

Speaker 3 (29:08):
Of, Oh, I'm not gonna lie. I'm mad as fuck.
This why I don't trust myself some more? I gasled
myself to believe that this nigga wasn't the liar. He was.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
Oh, no, I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
Definitely gaslet myself, for sure.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
I never heard that. Ever. I guess lit myself these
I kept.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
I kept going back to him. We broke up thirteen
times tolet fair.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
He was ready to gaslight you, and then you were like, no, baby,
it's fine, you gonna do this myself.

Speaker 4 (29:33):
But she was crazy about the thirteen times. Didn't you
not break up in the first year.

Speaker 3 (29:37):
No, this all happened in the last two years. The
whole first year was like a honeymoon phase and then
the world opened up.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
And man, you guys have to let yourself out.

Speaker 4 (29:49):
The biggest quote I've ever read was that depression is
like a prison, prison in your mind.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
And you're the jailer with the keys. Good Dick is
the same, release yourself, please.

Speaker 4 (30:00):
I know.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
It was just the looks and Dick's was like had
me in a total.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
And COVID was messing their brain too. The world wasn't real. No, literally,
I was living in a we was living in la
la land. The lu lulan is what it was.

Speaker 2 (30:14):
I was delusional that this.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
Is this was real.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
And when the world started opening up, the insecurities started funneling.

Speaker 3 (30:20):
He hated all the traveling we were doing. I was
booked and busy, and it just brought out the worst.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
Yeah, I'm glad you're me too. Me too, I'm glad
he'd be canceled to them.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
Okay, but now let's hit this week.

Speaker 4 (30:37):
I picked this one because you're married, and I actually
do have questions about how much that should cost. So
quickie weddings are a new trend with millennials.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (30:45):
Basically, these are half hour, no frill ceremonies that are
a step up from courthouse elopement and uh. They basically
are a large celebration but a small amount of celebratory fanfare.
So a micro wedding venue will give you a package
called a quickie nineteen hundred dollars, where the average wedding

(31:06):
is thirty six thousand. Loved up couples can wed in
front of twelve guests at an event space, confetti cannon.
A meal can be added on after, but the whole
affair is done in thirty minutes. For a bit more cash,
you can do two hours and that's where you get
the catering, the booze, and a bouquet. Now, I remember
Andrew's wedding. He got married in like twenty minutes, and

(31:28):
I was like, this is the best thing I ever seen.

Speaker 3 (31:29):
Yeah, I'm actually really excited. One of my best friends
is getting married at the Little White Chapel in Vegas.
Oh that's so I'm gonna get to see her get
married there. She got her dress on Fashionova, one of
the fashion Nova lux dresses, and then after she's gonna
wear her veil and we're gonna party at a.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
Day club at a beach clubs Vegas.

Speaker 3 (31:48):
So we're gonna go from literally the Little White Chapel
to probably Drake When is it Sunday with it Lena?

Speaker 1 (31:55):
Oh, that's dope. Yeah, So I'm really excited.

Speaker 2 (31:58):
That's a fun ass wedding. Yeah, bachelor party, and literally the.

Speaker 3 (32:01):
Night before she's going to see Beyonce in concerts, so
she was already gonna be out there and she's like,
I'm get get married.

Speaker 1 (32:09):
We Saylor, Yeah, I want to Taylor.

Speaker 4 (32:11):
Yeah, but how much did your wedding paus what type
of thing, like, did it stress you out?

Speaker 2 (32:15):
Did you feel like you want to break up? Tell
us on wedding Show.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
So we got married in the base in the middle
of COVID. It was literally like twenty twenty. We were
supposed to get married in like March twenty twenty, and
then COVID has We're like, okay, we'll push it back,
and then like cases started kind of going down. My
whole family's in Florida shout out. So I was like,
I'm just gonna go. It wasn't there, Yeah, it had
happened there yet. So we're like, we're gonna go and
let's just do it there as case we're going down,
We're like, screw it, let's just do it. We got

(32:37):
like a good deal on the venues because like people
weren't getting married. And then you need to wear masks.

Speaker 3 (32:42):
No, not in Florida, bitch, No, they did not have to.
Florida was like you ain't gotta wear a mask. Were
not really caring if you get vaccinated. It was completely
different than New York.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
Yeah, like I was on the phone with my friends.
My mama too.

Speaker 3 (32:56):
I'm like, mom, you are an old ass woman. Get
show the motherfucker mask call.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
She said, hun, I don't need it out here.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
And we outside, you know, because it's like apparently COVID
was harder to get if you were outside, and shit
was like, no, it's even down here. Yeah, our cases
are low where Florida, Orlando fall seven Choppa City.

Speaker 1 (33:15):
Did you grow up in ORLANDA? Yeah, no way, that's
what I didn't realize that this old town YouTube. Yeah,
so I grew up in like Lake Mary Longwood area.

Speaker 3 (33:25):
Oh wow, yeah, my mom was out there after I
graduated high school, but I was on the west side.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
Graduated E High.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
Black Evans, Evans. You went to Evans. I wonder even
does it track shut out that? Yeah? So yeah. I
mean like our wedding was like very chill, like people
wanted to wear masks, war masks, but like I didn't care.
I was like, wear it if you want, don't wear
it if you don't want to. And then it was
just like probably like ten fifteen thou and I paid

(33:53):
for it for myself. How many people like A hundred?

Speaker 2 (33:56):
Wow, that's pretty. That's pretty good for for I guess
you got to kill me COVID spreader event.

Speaker 3 (34:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Yeah, a lot of people died, a lot of people
had to die for it.

Speaker 4 (34:04):
But it was COVID and wedding.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
Yeah, no one got COVID. Like we like tracked people,
like took tests before and after, and like no one
got it.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
Oh that's right, I was, but they're all Florida people.
They wean't getting tested. They were just like nah, it's
kind of crazy when you think about it. I went
to so like I went to two weddings where I
had to get tested and then people got it.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
Oh wild, Yeah, no one got it. Like my grandma came.
It was her birthday, so like my wife was like, yeah,
let them sing Happy birthday. It's like my grandma like
at her own wedding, which is like my wife's awesome,
that's cute. Yeah, but like my grandma's like I don't
know exactly, she's like one hundred and fifty I think
years old, and and like she just she lived. She's
still pushing. Like COVID didn't even like did it went

(34:45):
skirted around here and that was wow. Yeah, I don't
know my philosophy on weddings is like I've heard that
the higher the more money you spend for weddings, the
more likely you are taket a divorce. You already a divorced,
Like there's like money to track it. Like you have
like a twenty million dollar wedding. It's like, yeah, the
likelihood of divorce higher than people to have, Like why
is that? You think?

Speaker 3 (35:02):
It's Probably there's resentment because bitch, now we can't pay
our bills.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
And I'm mad at.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
Bucket you that you made me spend that much money
on a wedding.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
It's your fault.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
You had poor life decisions and it's time to break up.
Do you think that the thing of the bride's father
paying is still like a thing?

Speaker 1 (35:16):
No, I don't. I mean, like I get why it
existed in antiquity, but I don't really think it matters now.

Speaker 4 (35:20):
I watched my big fact Greek wedding this morning because
I couldn't sleep, and I was like, damn, Like he
paid for that and he brought in my house at
the end of the movie. Yeah, they were from Mekos.
I was like, that's where people party. Well it's rich people.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
Yes, it's insane.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
That's a rich thing Bitchmacha making daddy ain't.

Speaker 4 (35:35):
But that's what I'm said, Like, mar Dad, I couldn't
afford that either, So I'm like, what am I just fucked?

Speaker 3 (35:38):
He ain't even want to pay the extra two hundred
dollars my mama wanted for child support.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
He damn show anything from a realistic Is that ship today?

Speaker 1 (35:45):
Yeah? No, not really. I just don't even know her dad's.

Speaker 2 (35:48):
So, you know, I don't think it's that's why they're
not paid the white.

Speaker 4 (35:53):
White give a little Oh you're gonna have a really
good time that people gonna be like, damn what you're
doing in Vegas. No one's gonna think.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
It's a wedding.

Speaker 3 (35:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
I think people's weddings should be in like in proportion
of what they can afford, like how they can live.
Like I think people that go super crazy and they
don't have the money for it, I'm like, Okay, that
seems negligent. But also people that go like, oh no,
we don't want to do anything and they have the money,
I'm like, well, have a party, Like celebrating your love
is really cool and so like to me, that just
seems like countercultural. They're like, oh, I don't want to
put on a big event, in a big show. It's like, no,

(36:21):
like have a bunch of pill you love, all celebrate
your life. Like I think standing in front of your
community with someone you love, being like, hey, I'm married
and committing myself to this person is like an important
social virtue. That's why I.

Speaker 4 (36:31):
Don't really care about a crazy fancy wedding. Yeah, I
feel like I live my life like that already. I'm
always saying they had the best ship, doing the best,
Like I want to be here and there and there,
Like I could get married doing in a courthouse. Mhe
in the city, and they got married in the courthouse
and did the buffet.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
I was like, and then you would do a party after.

Speaker 4 (36:49):
Oh yeah yeah, pop by and caviar.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
See I don't even well, I don't want marriage, but
I'll take I'll take jewelry, so I'll take a still
a really big bat rank. And if we have to
like celebrate our love, we're let's two weeks and just
travel the world and pick different countries to go to.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
And that's how you spend our money.

Speaker 3 (37:04):
I don't think I want to sit here. I hate
birthday parties. That's a celebration of life. I don't like
having to pay to give people a good time.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
You hate birthday parties? Yeah, one of our friends recently, you.

Speaker 1 (37:15):
Don't know what I mean. Birthday dinners leave me alone.
Don't like it.

Speaker 4 (37:19):
He told me that people never enjoy getting invited to
a birthday and I was like, I don't know if
that's true, because I like celebrating other people's birthdays.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
You said, think about it.

Speaker 4 (37:26):
You're out to dinner with someone and they're like, oh shit,
I gotta go to this birthday party.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
He's like, they're never no, because you're meeting a whole
bunch of people you don't know. Then you gotta split
the bill because that's courtesy.

Speaker 3 (37:35):
Now, like it'd be twelve people you don't know these niggas,
But somehow we gotta split this goddamn bill. And I
only order to appetize it in one drink. And it's crazy.

Speaker 4 (37:45):
It's just crazy.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
No, But that's what I'm saying. That's why the birthday dinner. Shit,
don't inbite me.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
But y'all take you out. Birthday dinner is different.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
Now you gotta pay for the birthday dinner.

Speaker 3 (37:53):
We're at the age now days I'm saying I will
take you out for your birthday. No no, no, no,
he's sitting with I mean different people. Someone hosting birthday dinner.
The last three birthday dinners I've had, I've paid.

Speaker 4 (38:04):
That's why either I invited five four or like lucky
enough I was able to do twelve. But like, nah,
this is it, Like no more bullshit, people won't come.
I think the older you get, you have to host.
Like if you have a party in your home for
your birthday, are you really begging for every single play?

Speaker 1 (38:21):
Like play?

Speaker 4 (38:23):
Maybe a bottle may mean you'll have someone bring a bottle,
but I think for dinners now, we need to have
a new thing. If you're over a certain age and
I don't know what that age is for you, but
you better be paying for shit.

Speaker 2 (38:35):
Don't invite me otherwise what the fun?

Speaker 1 (38:37):
That's why I don't and I don't want to know
about that. And if someone wants to volunteer and be
like no, no, I'll cover it, Like that's cool, but
I don't think you should expect it. But you don't
have to.

Speaker 4 (38:46):
Okay for the horror durve, we need a sex step
from you. But I was gonna ask honeymoon or the
night of your wedding and honeymoon. Did you have sex
with Lle of your wedding? If so, was it good
or were you guys so tired that was awesome?

Speaker 1 (39:03):
Really?

Speaker 4 (39:03):
Was the honeymoon like the best sex?

Speaker 1 (39:05):
Yeah? I mean we didn't really do that much of
a honeymoon. We did like two days at the beach,
like in Florida. We likening the wedding.

Speaker 2 (39:13):
Do you have sex like crazy or are you just
so tired because.

Speaker 4 (39:16):
Of the wedding.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
It's not like like not crazy crazy.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
Do you feel the pressure?

Speaker 1 (39:21):
No, it's just like, hey, we're married, like because we
like we had sex before, so it wasn't like this
like virginity thing of like okay now we are allowed. Lie,
do people think you're a version? We just don't really
talk about. Yeah. I think people know that. They're like,
but yeah, we doesn't really talk Your family is really
really yeah. Yeah, yeah, both my parents are like super Catholic.

(39:41):
They had seven kids. But yeah, that's a lot of
they're about that life. Yeah, at least seven times of sex.
Not at least it is at least you want seven No,
I mean it depends if I can get a farm, Like,
if I can go upstate and like get like a
piece of land, I would. I would do like four
or five.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
But we have a guest that would love to come
on there and learn the culture of animals. He's into
like mask and animal play where.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
I want to be a part of it. Like he's like,
so I want to go to a ranch.

Speaker 4 (40:14):
I'm so black, and he's like, yeah, the name is
for p h O R. Y'all check out that episode.
He was wearing a dog mask and said he has
a duck one coming in the mail.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
A cow and he has a pig one and he's like, yeah,
I want to go to a ranch and you know,
get into the culture of animals.

Speaker 1 (40:30):
He said that was.

Speaker 4 (40:31):
Crazy, but he was dead ass serious and you really
can't even laugh because you're like it was.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
Like I let us speak. Yeah, I mean if that guess,
I'm going that's fire. But at the same time it
puts me, It puts me in a tricky predicament where
all was a sudden black dudess like, Hey, can I
live on your farm? And I'm like, no, sir, no,
I'm so sorry. He said, visit not. I don't know,
I don't know what he wants to day pass. But
you're to understand it's a historical president. I can't be
doing this. You can, you can hang out with me,

(40:56):
but we can't. You have to understand how optically it looks.
It's like milday. I'll join him as a biracial and
I will bridge the gap. What would you be if
you're gonna come to the farm.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
Oh well, first of all, bitch a cow.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
I like cows, but I don't like milk. I like
all my milk, not real milk. Your cows drink milk?

Speaker 4 (41:20):
Now, why do you.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
Think the fucking don't do that?

Speaker 3 (41:30):
If I had to be an animal, even like in
the bedroom sexually, both of you, both of you.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
I mean, I will say this, so fish don't drink water?

Speaker 1 (41:42):
You done? That wasn't a joke. What what animal would
I want to like?

Speaker 3 (41:48):
I mean, to me the easiest one, because of course
I was gonna say a no, a cat. You can
they drinking milk stuff?

Speaker 1 (41:58):
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (41:59):
Oh that's right, And I like, I don't want to
drink no milk, but my boat drinks water. I'll feed
my catwater.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
You might have to catch a rat or something.

Speaker 4 (42:07):
Doing that I wouldn't want to be like a chicken
because I feel like somebody gonna fry you up too soon.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
Not fry you up.

Speaker 3 (42:13):
Actually, actually you got dal Stilis and some hot sauce
made that nigga lick it off for you.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
That could be kind of cold. You could be a
hot wing bitch.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
Like in a kink. You guys, you got to do
your own version of Hot Ones where you have different
celebrities lick hot sauce and you're a chicken.

Speaker 4 (42:32):
That would be crazy, honestly, if they if this is
fucked up, and I'm not just saying it because but
the black celebrities on Hot Ones be so goddamn ye know,
I love it. Paul was the best white guest though.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Yeah they got all the way through. I think he
got all the way through, right, he had. But Paul
Bread is also one of those to the lookout. He's
one of the why why is because I'm trying to
see where my stats are trying to get I'm not
gonna lie at this point.

Speaker 2 (42:59):
If that's a good one, look at us. It's the
meme at this point, it's just the meme.

Speaker 4 (43:03):
Also, except Rogain is in there. I think it's unproblematic white.
And I think it's also white people that like don't try.
Like we had a conversation about someone that uses a
black scent HM at your show. I don't know if
you remember, but basically, I think black people love a
white person that's so comfortable in their whiteness.

Speaker 2 (43:24):
I don't love white people that much, even my home mom.

Speaker 4 (43:27):
No, no, no, I'm saying like love, But it's true
when we see like white people being praised online like
Hayley from Paramore, like white people that just live in
their white shit, it's like yes, because we don't get
to feel like that. You always feel like someone's telling
you about their music taste or.

Speaker 3 (43:40):
Appropriating, showing up late, you know, to be like let
me be on CPE time because I'm going to horror
position Jesus.

Speaker 4 (43:47):
But then when you find out like.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
Oh my god, you love that you love Kodak Black.

Speaker 4 (43:50):
You never said that to me, Like why what, I
He's a normal guy like everyone.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
No, I actually that makes sense, right, Like if you're
if you're a white dude, you're like, oh, I like
rappers that are like exhibiting a black culture. You don't
want to like a black student it's like, oh, hi,
I'm Steve. Like, as soon as they meet you, you're
not gonna get invited to the What do we have
the barbecue carriers for everyone?

Speaker 4 (44:13):
A Maple July for barbecue? What white people Memorial Day
July for barbecues. That's what white people do.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
Is a Yeah, I guess a fish fries kind of
black to a fish fries? That son that southern.

Speaker 4 (44:29):
That's a good point.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
I think that's southern.

Speaker 1 (44:31):
Yeah, we need we need a food gathering that's white.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
Food gathering is crazy.

Speaker 1 (44:35):
We need a food where you bring all.

Speaker 4 (44:38):
Yeah, what's the best thing your wife takes?

Speaker 1 (44:41):
Oh, she's she's actually an excellent cook, like your taste
with the salt and pepper. Okay, back to hard Give.

Speaker 4 (44:49):
Us your sex tip.

Speaker 1 (44:50):
Okay, I mean the best sex tip is if you
want to be the greatest at sex with your partner,
make sure you're both virgins. You know what, shut the fu?
That's like fu competition. Why is everyone trying to compete?
It's like, why are you trying to like, oh, I'll
be better this person. No, no, no, don't don't play basketball.
Invent basketball, you know what I mean? Like, because then
you are the greatest. You are the alpha, the omega,

(45:12):
the one, the only you know what I mean. So
that's me and my wife. I'm like, she's the best
I ever had and she's busting out moves something where
you learn this for me, that's awesome.

Speaker 4 (45:22):
Honestly, when you have more time on your hands, I
feel like that's when you get to like, especially for
like the person you've been with for a long time.
When you got some time on your hands and you're
just like going through videos they're watching different shit, You're like, oh,
I'm going to like shock them and surprise them to
someone else.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
It may not seem like a big deal, but when you.

Speaker 4 (45:39):
Have the same type of sex, I think you can
surprise a partner that you've been with longer and have
better sex with them more than you can someone new.
Like spicing it up is something we talk about so much,
but people don't really do ye Like, how crazy would
it be if you walk in the door and with Handcuffomedly,
she's like, what the fuck are You actually use them?
And it's not just like oh my god, look when

(46:00):
I got at the Mormble decisions, Like, for real, you
use him. It's like it's one little thing and if
her hands were behind her back and she was getting fucked,
It's like crazy. You can talk about it for months
from the time he walked in the house right off
the bike four minutes late for dinner.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
But he did tell us about your first time.

Speaker 1 (46:19):
Uh first time, I'm trying to think it was like
was it? Yeah? I mean it still is. Bro I've
been going fast, Like who are these people that are
having sex for four minutes? It's like, grow up, like
what are you doing? Shut up? Why are you get
a job?

Speaker 2 (46:32):
It's so crazy?

Speaker 1 (46:32):
I like a go seven.

Speaker 2 (46:33):
I just had this conversation, uh last night actually with.

Speaker 3 (46:39):
A friend, the twenty two year old though, and he
was like, I know, I went from opposite ends of
the spectrum. X was fifty now I'm entertaining a twenty
two year old. And we were talking about he was like,
women have such high sex drugs. He's like, I was
just talking about Homegirl the other night and he was like,
how do women want to go so many rounds?

Speaker 1 (46:56):
And I was like, well, just so you know that's me.
I used to go like ten rounds. I like three minimum.

Speaker 3 (47:03):
He was like how and why and what we were
talking about minutes, how how many times? Like why we
needed that much? And even my friend and I were
talking this morning and it was like, oh, it's because
it takes a lot longer a for us to come,
but when we do come, it kind of gives us
energy as when y'all come.

Speaker 1 (47:22):
It like almost depletes you, guys. It's the opposite for us.
I come one time. I'm like, that's why I like
to get gist.

Speaker 4 (47:28):
That way, I don't have to go twice.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
Yeah, so you come from head, I don't. You never
have I have before, but I'm not ahead.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
I don't need it interesting. I like penetration.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
You need to ride a face that that.

Speaker 4 (47:43):
Oh I've done that, you know what I'm saying, Like,
let someone actually just lay there until you come, and
then I think you'd actually work up to liking it.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
I've done that.

Speaker 3 (47:51):
But then I'm also like sexal psychological right, these thighs
is ying, Okay, sitting on someone's face, I'm nervous that
they're not going to be able to breath. But then
also then I have to hold myself up, and now
I'm tired.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
But now I'm tired. You know how we feel. Now,
you know how we feel go through every day.

Speaker 3 (48:09):
I could kill him, but then also now I got
a levitation, So now I feel like I'm squatting, and
now my legs is shaken, and it's like it's a workout.
I'm doing wall sits on your face this you don't
lean forward. I guess I could hold onto the wall, yes,
but then also now it's.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
More of my ass in your face, and I'm really like,
my mind just isn't enjoy it. And if you kill
a man, what's the problem with that.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
I'm going to jail. And now I have to tell
everyone I'm in jail because I sat on a nigga.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
No, I'm not even a lie. I kill the guy.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
Man, this nigga lies so much to me. Man, I
just think, kill that niga. I said, like, I couldn't even.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
Say that I was enjoying the moment and forgot to
get up to let him breathe. I would have to
make it sound so crazy.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
That's someone's k for sure. You can find some face
killing you.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
I'm not trying to go out here and killed niggas
about sitting on the face.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
Hold oh wait, wait, wait, wait wait wit accidental sex death. See, yeah,
it's a thing. Yeah, I could see that one being
a thing. It's a thing.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
She sat on his face too long and he stopped.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
Breathing and she ain't no, but he died doing what
he loved.

Speaker 4 (49:15):
What people, it's happened before, it has whoa Donna Lange,
fifty one years old, smothered her lover to death in
a mobile home. She was intoxicated, claims she didn't know
he was dead and he was smothering him on that
nigga to death with her breast. Wait not the motor
boat kill.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
Wow, that's crazy. I guess she didn't know like he
was dying.

Speaker 2 (49:37):
How you do?

Speaker 1 (49:38):
How you do? She was fifty one, so hen just
lay your tits, little somebody so they can't breathe no
moat Wow, the face like get your tits?

Speaker 4 (49:45):
That means how do you do that?

Speaker 1 (49:47):
Maybe they were huge? She just that is impressed. That's crazy.
Smith and Wesson. Let's go baby, Yes, hold on, wait,
this is sick.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
Okay, anyway, I want to get into porn.

Speaker 4 (49:59):
Yes, because every time we have an episode of crazy
fucking Porn, it's just like some of our favorites. So
starting with, what's the first piece of porn you've ever
watched or maybe you picked it up like a magazine
or something.

Speaker 1 (50:10):
No, so I grew up out of magazine era, you
know what I mean. I'm twenty six, so like that
that whole notion Catholic people.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
Maybe they still got.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
One of the people find their dad's there's like an ankle.
There's an ankle pick in a magazine somewhere. But no,
it was like early on Sears catalog, right, like that's
where a lot of people start, Like you see the
cattle of like like bathing suits and you're like okay,
they're like oh fire. And then as you get older, yeah,
I mean, of course I knew this dude that had
a choke Florida. You see people in bathing suits though, Oh,

(50:39):
I mean yes. But then the one time where my
brain got broken, I went to France with my family
and topless beach and like as we're walking out to
the beach, my mom turns me. She's like, hey, March,
just so you know. I'm like eleven twelve, She's like, March,
just so you know, people are gonna be dressed differently.
I was like, okay, like what what are French people
gonna be wearing? Like the chicks that mustaches, like I
don't you know what I'm saying, I don't care. And
then going out there, my mind was blown, like and

(51:01):
I like sexually, like I didn't even know I went
through puberty that day. I think I think that kicked
it into gear. And I was like I had to
like go up to the hotel room just like just
walk it off like I could. It's so funny.

Speaker 3 (51:13):
My mom brings that up all the time. You were
like seven or eight and there what is it called
Holland Hollandale, the one in Miami.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
And hall all over the is a new one.

Speaker 3 (51:25):
And she brought us there fairly young, and she was
like yeah, but at that point maybe because we had
seen her nudes so many times.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
Sham Europe like that's not uncoon. And here in Jersey
there's a whole family side.

Speaker 3 (51:38):
So if you go to the nude beach here in
uh and I've shared it so much now everyone goes,
and I no longer go because goes Gunnison Beach.

Speaker 1 (51:46):
The one in Jersey.

Speaker 3 (51:47):
Its split into three different like subsets. So as soon
as you get on the left side is families, so
there's gonna be kids over there, and family is naked.
Then the middle is normally couples and straights, and then
all the way at the end is the It's literally
split into just how people are comfortable and who they're.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
Around who just the people, the members that go. It's
just how it's set up. You gotta be a membership,
no no, no, but a lot of like people going
to the beach don't feel comfortable being nude around kids.

Speaker 3 (52:15):
And then there's a lot of people who maybe don't
want to be around gaze and a lot of the
porn stars being out at the gate side because they
don't want to deal with the stripes and the hounding
from the straight men. So just the comfortability levels of
being nude in public, it's just.

Speaker 1 (52:29):
Been broken up.

Speaker 4 (52:30):
Orlando has one, but not Orlando, but Central Florid. I
can't remember the name of it. That's a nude beach.

Speaker 1 (52:35):
There's there's a beach in central No, it's.

Speaker 4 (52:38):
Like Central flore Did they go to one, like we
go to Daytona. We'll clear Water? Oh, I remember the
one that people go to like I'll share it later then.
But anyway, Okay, what was the thing you said about
the babies? You said there was a joke oh yeah, no,
just like seeing Oh my boy had a joke rare.

Speaker 1 (52:52):
He's like, bro. Back in the day, you go to
the Sears catalog find like the girls in the bikini.
But now you have the Internet, you just go straight
to Sears dot Com. You're gonna start looking at girls.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
Honestly, it's true though, you kind of like regress.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
Yeah, but like people like I knew people that would
have like the porn magazine in the woods, Like you
never heard of this, no, Like so like where I
grew up in Orlando, like there'd be woods and so
like there was like the older kid down the street
that was like, oh yeah, I got my porn stashed
in the woods, and there'd be a porn tree which
it rains every day in a bag in a box
underneath the tree. And then you go out to the

(53:24):
woods and just fucking whack it off and then you
pop back in the house. Yeah. White, I'm not gonna lie.
That's why that's White people get in touch with nature.
It's like you just come so many times with the
oak tree and you're like, man, I'm so connected to
this tree.

Speaker 4 (53:36):
I've definitely masturbated outside.

Speaker 1 (53:38):
And what he masturbated in Starbucks. I'm not surprised anybody.

Speaker 2 (53:41):
Wasn't in the Starbucks nowhere you've masturbated, will surprise the
audience whatsoever.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
That it was recent when I went to Malta with
my homie. I think we were like we were like,
we got a hotel on the water. And it's funny
because like I remember saying, like, damn, look at my room.
He's like, Wow, a big balcony. You can sleep out there.
I was like, I'm a funk out here. And if
I don't funk out here, I'm masturbating out here. So
I did the last day.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
The balcony is not outside, like you're not on my level,
Like you're not on the porn tree, like you're trying
to be like in a porn tree.

Speaker 2 (54:12):
So you want me to honestly airplane bathroom?

Speaker 4 (54:15):
The Starbucks parking lot was because I literally was fantasizing
on the drive home in Mexico about fucking.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
I had to pull over her. I didn't order it yet.
Oh okay, so before they're all inside though, I'm talking
outside in nature in the woods, no one around you.

Speaker 4 (54:31):
You're camping, I mean jungle chuns, Yeah, that Puerto Rican
jungle or whatever junk or something.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
Well, yeah, that's the one in Puerto Rico. Okay, so
I did so, Okay that counts. That counts.

Speaker 3 (54:43):
Okay, you mean, but the rainforest is wild. I think
it's a rainforest, is not a jungle.

Speaker 1 (54:47):
You're talking about woods. There's differences. I don't know what
they are, like the woods, terrain, they're all different. I
fucked by trees. Bitch.

Speaker 4 (54:58):
What type of porn do you watch? Now?

Speaker 1 (55:00):
So I'm actually kind of off of it. So like
like through college and ship, like I would watch porn
obviously casually, but then like in the past like six months,
I kind of like try to like he has a
wife now, it wasn't even too far. I just felt like, Okay,
what am I doing this for? Like I don't know.
I felt like it kind of like was fucking my
head up.

Speaker 4 (55:17):
Could you watch porn together?

Speaker 1 (55:18):
And now? Yeah, and he liked it.

Speaker 2 (55:20):
Yeah, that was fun, but like the same type of point,
like y'all liked the same type.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
I mean, she she didn't really have a preference. I
don't feel she like she never watched this, so she's
like whatever you like. But then that shit is awkward too,
because like I'll pull up like a website, and she's like,
all right, we'll type in something in as the search,
and that's awkward. No one knows what goes in that box.
You can't know. I like that is a secret between
me and God. What goes in that Wait? What your

(55:44):
search spart? It's like, it's not to be that crazy.
It's just like the idea of telling my wife, like,
for example, like I'm into the milk vibe, like I
love milks, right, I'm like, I'm like, no, it's got
that's too mainstream, like more regularly like the underground, you
know what I mean, Like the underground, you know what
I mean. I'm more into like like the up and

(56:05):
coming like underground, Like niche mills.

Speaker 4 (56:07):
How do they look? They look late thirties or late
forties or fifties like nineteen.

Speaker 1 (56:11):
Oh wait, I need to know what what? I need
to know what Niche the mills just like just regular
run of the mill milk. Okay, that's the deal.

Speaker 2 (56:18):
Run of the mill milk.

Speaker 1 (56:19):
Which is nice though, because my wife eventually will become
a milk You're leaving a.

Speaker 2 (56:23):
Call center mil are you looking up single mother mills?

Speaker 1 (56:26):
So I'm saying you guys, are in the future, y'all
are in the future. Okay, I'm still I'm still jerking
off analog, you know what I mean. Like, I'm like,
I'm masturbaing. I'm just like, okay, mature woman. Ah, you guys,
and you guys are looking at occupations like I don't
care if she's employed. No, We're saying, do you have
a scene?

Speaker 3 (56:42):
No?

Speaker 1 (56:43):
No, I no, I don't have like a scene specificity.
I'm like just older. That's that's the vibe.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
Minus bookcocky, which is so embarrassing.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
Really, But you're I guess, but you you what, because
I'm like, that's right.

Speaker 4 (56:57):
No, tell me where it would explain to you that
I like, watch ten guys come on a woman.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
I want to know.

Speaker 1 (57:01):
Well, the difference is that it like if you are
with women, also the idea of seeing a woman or
like you can see sexual pleasure from like a like
a masculine perspective. I feel like, you know what I mean,
Like bukagi is a very much a masculine display of.

Speaker 4 (57:14):
Maybe and also like a little bit of humiliation. But
someone told me that they think that I'm into it
because I've been with women, and they're like, oh, so
you need to see the coum when you're.

Speaker 1 (57:24):
With a gun. Like, that's probably it, That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (57:27):
Yeah, Like, because you already know I like I watch
gay porn and transport. I love watching trans women and
gay porn.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
No, that's it. Those don't like seeing pussy no at all? Actually, wow, way,
so the transporm won't be with a woman.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
No, it's trans women with big old dicks fucking men.

Speaker 1 (57:47):
Oh you would love my friend Derek Posten, Like, I
don't even like.

Speaker 3 (57:50):
I literally don't even like watching like trans women women.
I don't want to watch a plicity. I think I
don't like transferring either. I don't like watching lesbian born
it's more swinging. But I like seeing big old I
just I think I really like seeing Dick.

Speaker 4 (58:05):
Wait, why Derek isn't Derek straight and engaged to a woman.

Speaker 1 (58:08):
Yes, but when he came on our podcast on Flavorant,
he talked about his his love for for transport and
that is in the world and why, and he has
very very technical arguments and details as to why he loves.
But it's beyond that. If you're on Tit and Dick,
you're like, you're thinking and you know. Yeah, you've got
to go deep, I mean to me.

Speaker 3 (58:27):
To me, it's more so a I love I mean
peg the stallion. So to me, I don't like seeing
plastic dicks. I know it's not real, and so I
like seeing again another dick. But I love seeing like just.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
A beautiful woman.

Speaker 3 (58:43):
Also, the stroke on trans women is way better than
me watching women peg men.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
Women that be having the strips, they strokes be looking.

Speaker 1 (58:52):
Trans that thing.

Speaker 3 (58:54):
Oh my god, they just be really stroking good and
they and they not after like there's a finish with tagging.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
There's not a finish really. So yeah, so you know
one of his reasons at all. I mean, he's got
a couple of reasons. I'm telling you, guys just need
to have them on Like, listen to the episode. It's insane.
But he's just like just a big old dick, a
woman of the big old beautiful woman dick. That's what
he wants.

Speaker 2 (59:16):
Oh yeah, we gotta have one.

Speaker 1 (59:18):
Yeah, it's unbelievable. But me, I never got on that wave.
I never, like, I don't know, I feel like my
brain I think I got two sexually repressed growing up,
and I get just stopped at like titties.

Speaker 4 (59:28):
Well, so I'm going to go through some porn categories
and I want you guys to tell me if you
know what it is, and then I'm going to show
you some of them.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
Okay, oh Jesus, So this one.

Speaker 2 (59:40):
Is really random, but object porn and this.

Speaker 1 (59:44):
Is the photo I can guess. I can guess what
that is.

Speaker 4 (59:46):
I mean, I feel like we don't need to guess
that one. But basically it's different to various people. But
it's just fitting the object in there. Right. Uh, here's
one cake sitting What do you think even though it's
rabadi hot set the scene on, what do you think
happens in cake sitting point?

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
They sit on a cake? What they ask? And then
I think someone eats it? I think it off? Yeah,
I think I think consumption is a part of the
cake sitting.

Speaker 4 (01:00:12):
Point is always alone. It's smashing, it's it's the mess,
it's flattering.

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
Yeah, oh that makes sense.

Speaker 4 (01:00:20):
Okay, what about macrophilia porn?

Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
That's like large objects.

Speaker 2 (01:00:25):
Macro is small, micro's oh big, macro's big.

Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
Macro is a big one, micros small Yeah, microphiel that's
what I have.

Speaker 3 (01:00:33):
So macro so so macrophilia to me is like maybe
a really big click or a really big dick, or
really big balls, just all big things. You.

Speaker 1 (01:00:45):
I think it has to do with like objects, like
like like just big objects. Yeah, I think it's like
large objects. I could see the body part thing, though
I don't know big body parts. This one's wild.

Speaker 4 (01:00:54):
So it's about giant women fucking smaller men. Oh and
the bulk of it is animated or comic because giants
don't exist. But here's an example. This is a woman
with a little man figuring you see it, and she
stuffs it into her vagina.

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
He's a man.

Speaker 2 (01:01:15):
It's like a figurine, like a legoing.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
I feel like you could do that. Look, I had
to turn my head away that that was that what
I'm saying, literally like a little to put it? You
see the Actually, don't you wish your god in college
was a tiny little guy. No, don't think that would
be a little helpful just doing there. Well, yeah, he
just goes in with a headlamp like a minor. Mind you.
I never even wanted to talk.

Speaker 3 (01:01:38):
Him out twenty as I was humping my bed post
my teddy bears. Never wanted to fit a g I
Joe in my puss.

Speaker 2 (01:01:44):
That's what it looks like. It's given g I Joe
in your puss.

Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
But if you could go in there and excavate and
just make sure everything's good, come on, let's see what
they look like.

Speaker 4 (01:01:52):
So this is the one that's like, no, wake up slave.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
Wait? What is that one? Is that is that it's like?
Is that the macro one are sucking a little dick?
Was not the noise. Not the noise. The noise.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
I'm not gonna lie. Sucking a little dick does not
make that much noise.

Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
I was gonna say, it really doesn't. Eating macaroni it was.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:02:19):
Something I got really horned the other day. Twitter be
fucking me up. I came across an anime that I
don't know how it may be so wet. It was
a guy fucking demons, but all the demons were were
trans demons, and but they were like big tits. I
swear to god, I wish I could find it the

(01:02:42):
bro anime trans demons, and he came inside their.

Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
Holes and they pushed it out and it was so good.

Speaker 4 (01:02:51):
Have you guys heard of corn?

Speaker 1 (01:02:55):
I've heard that word. I don't know what that is, though,
I think it's like it's like Japanese anyway, I like Japanese.
Hen tie you? What is it called putinaria? Bitch? I
don't even know English, and you have.

Speaker 4 (01:03:09):
The word hermaphrodite is apparently is one we can't use now.
It's uh and it's not the most common thing, but
Fewtinario porn is where you get to watch hermaphrodite.

Speaker 1 (01:03:20):
So oh okay, I kind of like trans people. Yeah, wait,
hold on, let me see that on it. That's a while.

Speaker 4 (01:03:28):
It's a woman's stroking another woman's dick and they both
have really big dicks.

Speaker 1 (01:03:33):
Oh that's this, But isn't it her being hermaphroditically.

Speaker 4 (01:03:36):
You have both you're born with bo that's what I
thought it was vagina And there's I want to show
you felching, Mandy.

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
Do you know what it is? You don't Tholching is?

Speaker 3 (01:03:46):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:03:46):
I know what is it? That's that you you spit
semen into the guy's mouth after it's in your mouth.

Speaker 2 (01:03:52):
No, that's snow falling. I'm about show you.

Speaker 4 (01:03:57):
So here's a trans girl.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
Fucking a guy. Oh, this is terrible. Belching is eating
to come out of someone's butt.

Speaker 4 (01:04:13):
But yeah, so you could do it with your.

Speaker 1 (01:04:15):
Wife basically, No, it's that's that's what it is. I'm
actually really mad too. Hold on because I'm trying to
find this with the other.

Speaker 4 (01:04:23):
This is the belching.

Speaker 1 (01:04:27):
See now there's too much too. What are you talking about?

Speaker 2 (01:04:30):
Is he about the fart in her face?

Speaker 4 (01:04:32):
No? So, how is this too far?

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
But did he? Because I'm not pouching?

Speaker 4 (01:04:36):
Is when they you come in someone's ass and you
eat it out.

Speaker 1 (01:04:41):
Yeah, No, I'm not doing that. It's like lemming. What
are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (01:04:45):
No, I can lick a bootthole, but I'm not gonna
lick a bootlethle with nut coming out.

Speaker 1 (01:04:50):
You don't want anything coming Yeah, that's a one way thing.

Speaker 2 (01:04:54):
I don't because now it's definitely gonna come out with
something in it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:57):
If you are eating, if you're if you're eating come
out of a booty hole, you are for sure eating
shit you were.

Speaker 2 (01:05:04):
There's some type of ship mixed and that bitch to
where you was eating.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
Ship. If you eat enough out of a boodle, some
kind of ship makes coco puff milk. That's what happened,
You know what I mean. It's giving coco puff milk.

Speaker 4 (01:05:19):
Now there's also chocolate milk. It's disgusting on popcorn, on pitcorn, okay,
where you get to fuck the pit. And now I'm
just reading the weird genres. This one I've never fucking
heard of, but you might like it. Her suit tee porn?
Do you know what that is?

Speaker 1 (01:05:36):
Do not know her suit tea?

Speaker 4 (01:05:39):
Don't fucking know it?

Speaker 2 (01:05:40):
It's h I R s U t E.

Speaker 4 (01:05:42):
This porn is where you're going to be watching hairy
people have sex with one another. The reason I said
you might like it is because the woman they're showing
is actually attractive. She just has a really big bush.

Speaker 1 (01:05:54):
Could you go for bush? Yeah? I got nothing wrong
with it. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:05:57):
I mean you live in I was about to say,
you live in Brooke. I'm gonna make some box with
some bushes.

Speaker 1 (01:06:02):
It's so funny boxes. I only I like a natural woman.
And then, like you, they'll meet a girl that has
like arm hair and they're like, all right, not that
that's discussed.

Speaker 4 (01:06:11):
Actually that's a good point.

Speaker 1 (01:06:12):
I'm like, leg hair, bush hair, that's all natural. You
gotta be like, that's fine.

Speaker 4 (01:06:17):
So this next one's kind of wild. It's called at pontamentophilia.
I said it right, but it's basically where you watch
amputees have sex.

Speaker 3 (01:06:28):
Here I found you, guys, Sorry, this is what baby
cake come and oh my god, it's so good.

Speaker 1 (01:06:36):
You came to take a kiss away. I came so hard.
Look and so this one's a woman. But he trans
ONMS too.

Speaker 2 (01:06:50):
And then he yes, it looks it's like a cartoon.

Speaker 3 (01:06:55):
Look, look ship out demon. I came so hard, I said,
what the fuck is wrong with me? Even the voice,
the voices, Oh my god, I loved it.

Speaker 1 (01:07:07):
Ain't a big old dick.

Speaker 3 (01:07:08):
Look at that things put it in the ass and
all fluke. And then he goes on a rampant thing
of fucking all these demons.

Speaker 1 (01:07:15):
And have you ever enjoyed?

Speaker 3 (01:07:17):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:07:18):
Never, So when this came on, I said, oh bitch,
what the fuck is going on?

Speaker 1 (01:07:21):
Who am I? I don't know. Your whole identity was shaking,
but literally real well, this shit got me with Have
you tried it again? Have you have you run it
back with a different one. I'm actually about to save
it in my notes.

Speaker 3 (01:07:38):
If you are on our patreon patreon dot com backslash
Horrible Decisions, I will post it there for you to see.

Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
Uh, it's freak show.

Speaker 2 (01:07:46):
For freak show for freaks, and it's a part of
anime porns the only other.

Speaker 4 (01:07:50):
One I wanted to share Toothless Granny, where they put
the dentures.

Speaker 1 (01:07:54):
At the balls. That is that a part. It has
to be like that to be considered in that genre.
That's disgusting.

Speaker 4 (01:08:00):
Basically, you suck the dick and you push the denture
down so you feel the teeth like stroking, like a sleep.

Speaker 1 (01:08:06):
Not fry. That is discussed, I said mature. Well well,
well that's too mature. That's too mature.

Speaker 4 (01:08:12):
All right, now here's our homemail. You're gonna help us.

Speaker 3 (01:08:15):
We still do a whole mail dang from a guy
not you, giving the white man all this time.

Speaker 1 (01:08:21):
We as way over. But go ahead, Oh my bad,
I don't go ahead from the special treatment here, privileged.
I was just watching porn and enjoying it. Okay, toothless
amputee demon.

Speaker 4 (01:08:33):
Hello, ladies, have a lot to unload, and I don't
know quite where to begin, so I guess I'll dive
right in. I have someone who I've been in and on,
who I've been in and on and off with. You
did TYPEO intimate friendship with for twenty some odd years.
It started even I lived in Minnesota.

Speaker 1 (01:08:50):
Nigga, you got to you gotta Redson, make it make sense.

Speaker 4 (01:08:54):
Okay, I lived in Minnesota, and it's even picked up
again a couple of years ago when she abruptly moved
her family to Texas. While I won't say the sex
is hot and heavy, there's been a certain level of
chemistry and comfort between us both. She was the first
of only three women that have made me come from head,
which has happened only three times in my life, and
recently the only woman who I've let explore me anally

(01:09:14):
during oral and for me to feel comfortable enough to
freely let someone explore my body like that is a
really big point in my life and it makes her
super wet and turns her on. But here's the problem.
Our chemistry has only been in the bedroom. Even though
she's one of my closest friends and a dear confidant,
we have never been on the same page as far
as exploring something deeper. Either I was in a situation

(01:09:35):
with another girl, or she was too far away. She
was married for years and now I've been married for years.
So fate has left writing on the wall that I
could see. But she refuses to accept it. The closest
she's ever gotten shooting her shot when I was free,
was trying to get me to change my mind about
moving back to Texas by offering to let me move
in with her and still being able to date. I
would never be that person that would be disrespectful after

(01:09:57):
having an abusive husband who died, She said, I only
decided to move to Texas. Not only that, but she
moved to an area that's not too far away from me.
And trust me, that coincidence has not passed me. I
really want Oh wait, they did start exploring their kinks again.
She went radio silent, and then when she started speaking
to me again, she went on a rant about how

(01:10:20):
her never being good enough for me while others were
didn't work out with them.

Speaker 1 (01:10:24):
Blah blah blah.

Speaker 4 (01:10:24):
I have issues, and those issues have caused my relationships
to fail. Nigga, get a therapist, especially not in a
situation where I knew I could be held accountable. I
have temporarily cut off communication because I don't want to
continue to hurt her by continuing the way things were going,
because she's just going to want to go back to
having a sexual relationship just to have me in her life,
and he's married not anymore. To be honest, I don't

(01:10:48):
know what to do because I don't want to lose
one of my only true friends, but I don't want
to keep hurting her. Any advice would be great. You've
probably never been on a date with this person, so
why don't you just try dating them?

Speaker 2 (01:10:58):
I mean, this is his friend, he said.

Speaker 1 (01:11:00):
They've been friends. I'm sure they've hung out before.

Speaker 4 (01:11:04):
But dating is different than a Like, I have friends
that are truly platonic that I've spent time with, right,
I don't know what it's like to date them. Ah,
Like I was friends with Alex for what six years?
I've never been on a date with Alex. We're so
browing with each other. I don't know what he's like
in a romantic capacity, right, So, like, imagine that they've

(01:11:25):
been friends twenty years, Like they're just friends.

Speaker 1 (01:11:29):
So maybe if they.

Speaker 2 (01:11:30):
Actually treat they're not just friends because they've been fucking.

Speaker 3 (01:11:33):
Just friends, because there's fucking So there's some sort of
the fact that he's Like I don't think it's a
coincidence that she even lives in a close proximity to me.

Speaker 2 (01:11:41):
There probably is emotions on one of their baffs.

Speaker 4 (01:11:45):
But if you don't want to lose somebody just because
you don't want something more, maybe that's a commitment issue.

Speaker 1 (01:11:52):
Yeah, right, Like I feel like if you have more
friends in the mix, Like did he say he doesn't
have many other friends? Like, he just doesn't want to
lose this one friend for the section, That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:12:01):
He doesn't want to lose her.

Speaker 3 (01:12:02):
And I'm like, well, because sex does complicate things, and
if you get into a relationship with someone and it
goes bad, you can lose your fund.

Speaker 2 (01:12:08):
So I don't think it's a commitment issue as much
as there's a reason.

Speaker 3 (01:12:11):
Why a lot of people avoid getting into relationships with
people that they really love because getting into a relationship
with someone, inevitably you may lose that person because of
how you're showing up in a relationship is different than
how you show up in a friendship.

Speaker 4 (01:12:26):
I've had a lot of people, like with two or
three male friends specifically, like really pushed me and I
brought up Alex because he's one of them. Everybody's always
thinking that I've slept with him or whatever, and I'm like, bro,
for one, it's a no. But for two, we've been
working together for a long time, and I always make
the joke on horrible like you should meet someone at work,
but like the way our work is is definitely different.

Speaker 1 (01:12:48):
It's way more hands on. It's just the two of us.

Speaker 4 (01:12:50):
Like, why do people think now because they see us
in this light of owning a business together, that it's
the time. It's almost like if you were going to
say that, it could have been years ago. This is
a really really tight working relationship now. And like there's
no friend boundary. There's no friendship that. I mean, there's
no romantic relationship.

Speaker 1 (01:13:08):
I would want to have.

Speaker 4 (01:13:08):
That to me, would be worth it. So I'd neither
what you're saying. If y'all just kind of neighbors, I
would do.

Speaker 1 (01:13:15):
And how is he hurting her? I don't understand. He's
like I don't want to keep hurting her. Probably because
he's the leader.

Speaker 3 (01:13:20):
He's probably stringing her along. If we have sex, she's
probably gonna want more. I don't want to get her more.
I mean there's an element there too. If you've been
fucking for twenty something odd years, you've got to be
a leader. But they took a break during the times
they were both married, but he's probably still in his forties, right,
So it's like, yeah, don't you want to end up
with someone that you consider a friend anyway?

Speaker 1 (01:13:40):
Yeah, But I'm like, is the nature of the relationship
one that could actually work? Like, I guess that's the ultimately,
that's another thing, like just a genuine compatibility. If it's
just sex, like that's not going to be a fruitful relationship. Yeah,
that's an right, So like go on like three dates
no sex. Yeah, So I'm.

Speaker 3 (01:13:59):
Curious to know if you broke Nigga because for her
to be offering him to move in with her, given's given.

Speaker 1 (01:14:04):
She's a little bit.

Speaker 4 (01:14:05):
More better off than he is, right, Yeah, that even
if you've gone, if you've gotten to the pint of sex,
Like all of the platonic friends I'm speaking around, I've
never kissed nothing, And I do think I'm past that
point with all of them, because I think when you
really attracted someone, you do it like medd. I have
a friend of mine who ended up sleeping with but
like even the first time we met, we kissed right

(01:14:27):
then we were friends. Like to me, when it goes
like that, like, no, there's no real hope for your friendship, Like,
I don't know if you'll ever really be truly friends
with someone you fuck.

Speaker 1 (01:14:37):
Mm do you think you can? You have a lot
of people that.

Speaker 3 (01:14:40):
You've feel like, like Jesus now zero like me and
him hang out a few months count have.

Speaker 2 (01:14:48):
We We've been hanging out the whole time. I've even
been in the road. But I'm saying it doesn't We
sucked last year one time. Since that, we have not kissed.
We have not cuddled, we have not fucked.

Speaker 1 (01:14:57):
We have not sucked. We have not done anything.

Speaker 3 (01:14:59):
He he's met my mom, he's around my friends. I
brought him to the sex club. There wasn't even anything
at all sexual. He is just a friend, and there's
no us even. I have zero desire to even go
back to that idea because because we really actually enjoy
hanging out.

Speaker 2 (01:15:18):
He's gone lunch, your mind flies.

Speaker 3 (01:15:20):
But I think that that's why even when we got
back in our relationships, I wanted to move away because
I'm like, ooh, no, you too fine, I'm gonna want more.
But in us hanging out, I'm like, no, actually, you
probably make a better friend. I don't even think it
makes sense to ruin how dope.

Speaker 1 (01:15:34):
You are hanging out with Was there a conversation after
the first time you guys were intimately like, hey, let's.

Speaker 3 (01:15:38):
Not do this. Well, we both got back with our partners,
so I was in love, like when we even like,
but you said.

Speaker 1 (01:15:46):
The sex was good, The sex was good, dick big.
That's why. Like when I broke up with my partner,
I was like, nigga, it's hard. Did you not like it?

Speaker 2 (01:15:54):
Why we not fucking again? I And this was during
one of the many breakups.

Speaker 4 (01:15:57):
But now I'm just thinking about how simple it's so.

Speaker 3 (01:16:03):
But now I'm just like, no, I really enjoy like
hanging out with him, and I also now look at it,
I don't know if we would be compatible in a
relationship now that I'm hung out with him so much
and I see how our friendship is, I don't think
we would be compatible in a relation.

Speaker 4 (01:16:19):
Day since you sound older, you take her on a
few dates, better not going to end in sex, so
that you can actually see if romantically you like.

Speaker 3 (01:16:26):
Romantically you like each other because there's a sexual chemistry
with people, there's a friendship way that people hang out,
but romantically you have other expectations of people. How they
respond to your text messages what they're into. Finances, things
are a little bit more complicated because maybe if I one.

Speaker 4 (01:16:41):
To not our chemistry there, she needs to see it
too in order to keep the friendship, because sometimes we need.

Speaker 2 (01:16:47):
To know like what stuff looks like on the other
side for us to let it go, like the what
if could.

Speaker 1 (01:16:52):
Be killing her? So yeah, that's my advice.

Speaker 4 (01:16:55):
Anyway, if you have questions, send them into Horrible Decisions
at gmail dot com. Tell people where to find you.

Speaker 1 (01:17:00):
Mark you can check me out on Instagram and Markey
Gagnon check me out a Campgagnon And then obviously you
can see me with the Flagrant Boys Alex Akash and
Schultze every Tuesday.

Speaker 3 (01:17:10):
And y'all make sure you go on over to horror
Hive dot com and get your Climax Tour tickets. The
next stop we in the South Hunt. We are hitting Orlando,
Atlanta and Charlotte. I don't all know, but well, Charlotte
is sold out. But also in October we are hitting.

Speaker 4 (01:17:31):
London, so we are gonna be there in London.

Speaker 3 (01:17:35):
Yeah, we're gonna be there the weekend of Halloween. So
really excited to get you guys in these slutty costumes.
For that show, go to horror hive dot com and again,
if you want to support us, make sure you go
to Patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions to get a
bonus episode.

Speaker 2 (01:17:49):
This has been get another episode of Horrible Decisions, Bie II.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Hosts And Creators

WeezyWTF

Mandii B

Popular Podcasts

Dateline NBC

24/7 News: The Latest

Therapy Gecko

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}EP 335: One D--k Until Death (Ft. Mark Gagnon)