5 Tips for Healthier Living

After turning 40, Khadeen and Devale have put extra attention on their physical health. In this episode, the Ellises discuss the 5 small changes they made that have made them feel their best. Dead Ass. Watch the full video version early on Patreon! 

Go to https://Patreon.com/EllisEverAfter to see the After Show and more exclusive Ellis Ever After video content. And find us on social media at @EllisEverAfterPodcast, @khadeeniam and @iamdevale, @joshua_dwain @_matt.ellis, @tribbzthecool. And if you’re listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, review and subscribe.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dead Ass.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
At forty one years old. I am in the best
physical shape of my life.

Speaker 3 (00:06):
And I told y'all about that test that did from
my blood work, and when I thought some.

Speaker 4 (00:10):
Of those foods were a hoax.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
I didn't want to let go of the gluten. I
didn't want to let go the dairy. But I did, baby,
and I've seen such a difference. Dead Ass, Dead Ass.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight
from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become
Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It
was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable, be.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
Wraw or but most apportly be us.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
But as we know, life keeps evolving, and so do we,
and through it all, one thing has never changed.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
This is a severafter dead.

Speaker 4 (00:49):
Ass, because we got a lot to talk about.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
All right, quick story time, I'm gonna tell y'all back
to I think I did tell part.

Speaker 1 (00:59):
Of this story about how I I messed my knee up.
I think it was two years ago.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
I was the kids of football and I was playing
backup quarterback and I went to go outside the defensive vent,
I started running and I felt my knee kind of
like so now, I was like, that's not that big
of a deal.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Go home.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
That night, knee swells up. So for about six months,
my knee was constantly swollen and I wasn't able to
get full range of motion in my knees. And then
you had took the test and you wasn't doing dairy
no more. So at that moment, I was just like, fine,
if you're not doing dairy, then I won't do dairy.
And I cut milk. The moment I cut milk, the

(01:39):
swelling and not only my knee, but my back went away,
and I was able to get more mobility. So I
started doing more mobility stuff, and doing more mobility stuff,
and stopping the dairy allowed me to dunk a basketball again.
And that's when I realized, this is not something I
want to do for a short amount of time. This
is something I want to do for the rest of

(02:00):
my life. And you and I have been on the
journey ever since then to get back to Earth.

Speaker 4 (02:06):
It feels good. Yeah, not even karaoke, but.

Speaker 5 (02:11):
Feels good, right, No.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Good, that's our karaoke, okay, And we're gonna remix that.

Speaker 6 (02:19):
Yeah, it feels.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
You know why, because I love you, but I love it.

Speaker 6 (02:24):
Like a fresh vegetable.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
You'll tell me if you love touring a rebel, I
love you like a fresh vegetable. Y'all tell me if
you love to rebel, big guy you are, Julie, tell
me ruined me.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
See how we did that, See how we worked both
cut that in.

Speaker 6 (02:45):
I know that's crazy.

Speaker 4 (02:46):
Come on, Tony Rebel, sir, did you pass away?

Speaker 1 (02:50):
Why would you just put.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
That out therese people kill you online because that's what
they be doing before. You know what you want to see?
Rest in peace, Tony Rebel t shirts he like, I'm
right now.

Speaker 4 (03:04):
I'm alive and well, I'm here under the coconut tree.

Speaker 6 (03:07):
I just don't know why I was.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
I know that we lost a couple of greats, you know,
in this past year. But you know here we are
all right, y'all. We're going to take a break and
we're gonna come back with Op or no.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Op Live long, Tony Rebel.

Speaker 5 (03:18):
He's alive and well, I told.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
You I.

Speaker 4 (03:23):
Wasn't sure, but I know somebody definitely.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
King live long. Kings.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
Don't let them do this, all right, we're back and
this is very important to Kadeen and I, So we're
getting through with the story times and stuff because we
really want to get into how we changed our lives
over the past eighteen months. Not only us, but we
changed what the boys eat, We've changed our parents. Like
it's really been a whole overtaken.

Speaker 6 (03:49):
So we're going to get into that.

Speaker 4 (03:50):
It's like a labor of love work in progress.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
But it's also like we're not coming to you guys
with like this whole like clinical perspective, like that's that's
your research to do for your own health benefits, depending
on what you may or may not be struggling with.

Speaker 4 (04:02):
We can only attest to what's been.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Working for us five simple things.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
I just want to put that disclaimer out there before
you be like, well, why trot and they said, and
this is what works for us, and you can take
it to leave it, but we at least wanted to
share it because so many people have been commenting on,
you know, what we've been doing or asking what we've
been doing.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
No, definitely take it, you know, pause because it works, right,
so don't don't leave it. But when we say this
is not a clinical diagnosis, We're not telling you based
on your blood type what to do. We're telling you
based on humanity. What works for ninety nine percent of humans.
The only one percent may be the tony rebel that passed.
That she knows because the tony rebel, I know, still

(04:39):
a lot. But that's the only one percent that is.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
Don't work on.

Speaker 6 (04:44):
My bad bread rebel, generalel.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
General, yes, general vegetables.

Speaker 4 (04:51):
He's eating this vegetable somewhere.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
Rebels.

Speaker 4 (04:54):
All right, But what do we got for avno app today?

Speaker 5 (04:58):
And you know, I just wanted to bring up a
couple of little health things. But before we get to that,
do y'all listen to keep it positive? Sweetie with girl
shout out to Rene. I like to call her thousand
dollan cauld She be dressing.

Speaker 6 (05:17):
That is the fact.

Speaker 5 (05:20):
Is a fact. That's a good one.

Speaker 4 (05:22):
Did you put in her comments yet?

Speaker 5 (05:24):
No? But I'm going to now.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
You got to go thousand dollars.

Speaker 6 (05:29):
Yeah, okay, dressing.

Speaker 4 (05:36):
Because it's always going like, what is what was the
last one that you did? I think she was in
all white, so.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
I said there was something about curtains, and I said, okay, curtains.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
Because you be closing the show. It was the show something.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
I said, okay, Christmas Tree, because you lit like one,
Oh my god, shut up, shout out.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
Crystal's two.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
By the time this airs September eleventh, all right, so
whatever date it is, watch or get ready.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
To watchday I catch episode one and two, three and four,
which other episode we'll see?

Speaker 1 (06:22):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (06:23):
So Cristal had the CEO of honey Pot on her
show talking about why she sold her company, and I
already know how y'all feel about this, but she was saying, like,
I love having money, I like having multiple house houses,
and she basically was like anybody that starts a business
should be looking.

Speaker 4 (06:44):
To sell it to steal themselves.

Speaker 5 (06:46):
So I think, I think I already know what app
you have. But op any any further analysis of this situation?

Speaker 1 (06:55):
H I have an op.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
My op is I understand why some people who don't
understand business gives her backlash, saying why would you sell
the company that you created for us for a black women,
by a black woman to someone who may not be
a part of the community. I understand where the backlash
come from because they feel like this is ours right,
But I feel like they don't understand that the idea

(07:18):
was ours.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
The company doesn't have to be ours.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
The idea was And she used a company for a
lot of good because not only has she made a
lot of money for herself, she's also contributed to the
community with her earnings. That's something that she does a
lot of And now that she has more resources because
she did sell the company, she can pay it forward more.
And I think we have to broaden our mindset to
what black entrepreneurship looks like, just like we did selling

(07:43):
Grandma's house. Right, it was a thing where you keep
grandma's house in the family because it means so much.
But no, what if grandma's house can give us so
much more by what it's value at. And I think
what she did with her company, she saw the value,
she saw an opportunity to get out and move on
to something else. And you never know, she probably create
another bigger company with the resources you got that can
help us even more. So my op is I'm all

(08:04):
for a shout out. You know, that's great, great business
and we all as black people should start learning how
to do business that way.

Speaker 7 (08:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
My opp is just that people need to understand and
maybe do more research on why people scale and sell businesses.
I think that's like a fundamental thing that's a part
of business. When you start a business, the main objective
is to grow your company to scale and then to
sell it. Now, I think the issue that lies with
some people is that they feel like maybe the integrity

(08:30):
of the product may be lost or maybe a big
altered because if it gets to the point where you're
going to have to outsource for certain factories or things
like that, then they worry about the product that they
love so much. And it's true as far as being
either diluted, water down and whatnot. So I understand the
concern about that, but also understanding that black entrepreneurs who
have products specifically it's a lot to get them into

(08:53):
these bigger companies where they can then do more, like
to your point, then being able to pay it forward
by using the funds that they get to help other
people as well or reinvest into small businesses.

Speaker 4 (09:03):
So you know where we stand on business. It's just
you know where we're staying.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
We be standing on business and we support black entrepreneurs
who really have a bigger vision for their companies.

Speaker 5 (09:15):
Yeah, I think the Honey Pot Company was something that
was needed in the space in the large scale space
because that badger seale douche your grandma will been using.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
Since nineteen six or the mass and gilt, Yeah, the
what is.

Speaker 5 (09:33):
It called the what's the Summer's eve?

Speaker 1 (09:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (09:37):
Yeah, she putting ACV in the tub. Still that's not
working out, baby, So honey pot is really solving an
issue for the girls. Let her do that for all
the girls. We colch. Somebody's uh ma'am a too be
doing that shit. Somebody's white madma put the douche away.
Get her some honey.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
I also want to say this to shout out to
her because I just made a post and I forgot
her name. But the father of modern gynecology, it's just
been exposed that he became known as the father of
modern guy to ecology by operating on young black women
who were enslaved. Yet, so to me, this is another

(10:17):
example of black women taking their own health and wellness
into their own hands and saying, we're not going to
rely on anyone else to tell us how to treat
our bodies. So I understand the connection that black women
have to honeypop because if you think about the father
of modern guynecology not caring about black voices. Now you
have something specifically for black women. I get why there's

(10:41):
that feeling of like this is out.

Speaker 4 (10:43):
Right, don't ruin it for us, right, And.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
I do think there is a responsibility for business owners
if you're going to sell a business or scale a business,
to find a partner that's going to try to keep
the business as close to what it was.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
So that all of the people who supported your.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
Business can continue to get the care and the things
they needed in that business. So let's not act like
that's not part of it. And I'm pretty sure she
tried her best. Just like we saw this with the
mal company, we see this with Tad, we see this
with a lot of Now black women who have businesses
are getting backlash from other people who don't understand the
business aspect of it. There are two components. There's the

(11:19):
component that you own that you love your people, but
there's the business. And we can't cripple these women's business
because we have a sentimental value on it. Same way
we can't just dismiss our constituents and our people because
we want to make money. There's a balance, So let's
make sure that we understand both absolutely.

Speaker 4 (11:36):
Love it, love it love it.

Speaker 5 (11:37):
Yeah, So we've been talking about we're talking about hell today. Yes,
has been talking about he's in the best shape of
his life. Kaden's been talking about she's in the best
shape of her life. Even Matt, Matt's been getting reefing
the benefits.

Speaker 4 (11:50):
Listens on to.

Speaker 3 (11:55):
No, it's been it's been quite the journey, and it's
amazing to see how when you get to the root
cause of what your issues are, that in itself is healing.
So we're so accustomed to getting the band aids put
on or the quick fixes. But what helped me a
great deal was when I went to the holistic doctor
and had that blood work done. The name of the test,

(12:15):
because so many people were asking about the name of
the test that I did. It's called the alcat A
l C at the alcat test, and it's pretty much
a chemical sensitivities food test and went by testing your blood.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
It's impossible.

Speaker 3 (12:36):
You had to plug his thing is this particular test
per food group was able to tell me the things
that were highly sensitive for me and things that were
giving me the green light, like girl, you can have
all you want of this, but limit that. And I
noticed at first I was like, you know, this test
is probably this is cap Like, I'm like, they can't

(12:56):
possibly need me.

Speaker 4 (12:57):
To cut all these things just to be healthy.

Speaker 3 (13:00):
But some of the biggest things that I saw that
would cause inflammation in my body were dairy, gluten, anything
from the sea. So I could essentially be a pescatarian
because anything from the sea was okay, yeah, it makes sense, right,
dark chocolate or just chocolate in general. Something that was
highly inflammatory to me cane sugar you know your Island

(13:22):
girl again, like, I can't have my sugar cane. Like
so many things were heartbreaking for me. But I did
notice when I was preparing to film Divorced Sisters, I
really locked down, you know, for six weeks. I was like,
you know what, I'm get in the best shape of
my life possible.

Speaker 4 (13:36):
So I to.

Speaker 3 (13:37):
A tea eliminated anything from my diet that was highly inflammatory.
I worked with an online trainer who composed pretty much
a meal plan for me based off of the things
that I could have. The only exception that I had
to keep just because I needed the protein source in
the morning was eggs. So while my body shows that
I should stay away from eggs for the majority of

(13:59):
the time I did have eggs and moderation, and I
noticed that my skin.

Speaker 4 (14:04):
That was the biggest one for me. My skin cleared
up so much.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
And I would like to say that since I was
a teenager, since I hit puberty, I always struggled with acne.
I would have my bouts with it, you know, a
little before that time of the month, I would have breakouts.
And I noticed that my skin was the best ever.
I had no breakouts on my back, my jawline, my face,
everything was clear. Of course, drinking an abundance of water,

(14:28):
So drinking that gallon of water a day is not
just something people say just to say, that is the
way of flushing toxins out of your body. Working out
five times a week, strength training in addition to cardio,
getting in the sauna.

Speaker 2 (14:42):
So we have the five things that I wanted to
take them through, the five things.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
That we do. And the reason why I didn't want
to break it down.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
So scientific is because everybody doesn't have access to that test.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
Right.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
That test is expensive, Right, The test costs a couple
thousand dollars, and if you don't have a couple thousand
or sick that test. I wanted to be able to
get people some things you can do right now to
change right.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
Well, I'm unsure what this particular test costs because I
had done a complete workup that was blood, stool, and saliva,
so that compiled together from this doctor was about thirty
five hundred dollars, So I'm not sure what the blood
work alone would be. But I implore you to find out,
like reach out to your nearest holistic doctor or neuropathic
doctor and see if you can get at least the
blood work done. You know, it's an investment for me
because I said, you know, if I can go drop

(15:24):
this money on a trip or potentially something materialistic, I
want to make the investment in my health.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
So some people don't even have a couple hundred dollars
to say, I always say, let's give them five things
that they can do right. The first the first five
things that I know that you can do was release stress,
drink water, exercise, change your diet, and get sun right.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
So those are the five things. Number one.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
The one thing we changed over the last six months
that really made a difference was we no longer wake
up and run to the phone. Kadeen and our first
thing when we used to wake up used to be
the minute I would wake up my eyes, I will
go right to my cellphone and I will check my accounts,
and I'm talking about all of my bank accounts to
make sure all the money was there. Then I reach

(16:08):
out to all of my my associates that I have
to do business with to make sure that I'm on
top of everything. Then I check my social media accounts
to make sure nothing I hacked into. And I started
to realize that doing that first thing in the morning
creates a level of anxiety that the minute you wake up,
the first thing you're doing is looking at something electronic.

Speaker 4 (16:25):
It has to be done for the day, you.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
Know what I'm saying, from sleep to just I'm up,
And that was all stress, right, So that was the
first thing. We no longer do that anymore. We wake up,
kadem will make I don't know if it's mullein.

Speaker 3 (16:38):
Leaf tea sometimes so sometimes mullein leaf tea, sour sap
leaf tea. You know, we'll kind of also just vege
in the bed for a little bit, like it's not
just getting up right away, you know.

Speaker 4 (16:48):
We'll canoodle a little bit.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
Two other stress.

Speaker 4 (16:52):
Depending on those are.

Speaker 6 (16:55):
This is pre toothbrushing.

Speaker 5 (16:58):
Well, this is a freak down nose.

Speaker 1 (17:02):
One thing we will both do will be canoonling and
be like, I'm.

Speaker 6 (17:10):
That's a fact.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
Look I'm be looking at her like she was finished
right exactly.

Speaker 4 (17:14):
No, that's one thing we don't like. I just don't.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Do you remember why to It's also a gut thing.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
There's a study that says you shouldn't even eat food
or drink water or.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
Drink water before you brush your teeth because you have
so many microbiomes and things that sit in your mouth
while you sleep. So for us, it's just become a
thing that when we wake up, we just go brush
our teeth because we don't want that bacteria. I don't
want to that bacteria blow into her face or we're
kissing each other.

Speaker 1 (17:38):
So we wake up, we go brush our teeth.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
Then we get the mullein leaf tea or the ginger
tea or whatever it is, and we go on the
front lawn because it's early in the morning, you know,
eight o'clock, nine o'clock, the sun isn't blazing yet, and
we sit on the grass for like thirty five forty
minutes and we just.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
Talked to each other.

Speaker 4 (17:57):
No phone, no phones.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
We just sit down, no shirt on.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
He may have on like a bikini top with some shorts,
and we try to get as much sun as possible.
We limit it to thirty to forty minutes because no
one should be baking in the sun.

Speaker 1 (18:10):
And let's be clear about the sun.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
Where you you are island, you love bakon in the sun.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
For me, it's not good because I work out.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
I can't sit in the sun and bake and be
dehydrated then go bust my tail in that gym, running
high incline, sprints and doing stuff. So what I try
to tell people is you want to get thirty five
to forty minutes in the sun, not to the point
where you're drenched in sweat and you can't stand anymore.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
But you have to get that vitamin D.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Most Black people these days have vitamin D deficiency because
we don't like being in the sun. And that comes
from growing up and your parents telling you get out
the sun, don't get dark. You're gonna be in the
sun getting dark, and no, let's get in the sun
and get dark. That's where our.

Speaker 1 (18:50):
Muscles, our skin, our bones.

Speaker 2 (18:52):
We developed so many nutrients from sitting in the sun
and also putting your feet on the soil.

Speaker 4 (18:58):
And put your crown.

Speaker 3 (18:59):
Yeah, that's like a connection that you have essentially to
like the earth center of the earth when you're there.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
After that, we're gonna come in this house and we're
gonna work out, And the type of workout we do
is going to be very different than what people think.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
People think that we go when we say movement, we
just oh, I do.

Speaker 2 (19:16):
My high inclined walk on the treadbill for thirty minutes,
and I may do some hit workouts. No, we lift
heavy weights to develop strength in our quads, our thighs,
our hamstrings, and lower back because studies also show people
who have grip strength and strengthen their legs live longer.

Speaker 3 (19:33):
Right, and they live a functional life. You don't want
to just live and be sedentary. You want to be
able to move. So I saw a video recently and
it was like kind of cool to see because it's
like you do a dead lift in order to pick
up groceries, You do a squat to eventually have to
get on and off the toilet. These are things that
people at a certain age are not able to do anymore.

Speaker 4 (19:54):
You can't even open a jar say.

Speaker 3 (19:55):
They say, most women, I think, by the age of
sixty five can't even open a jar of like tomatoes
because the grip strength is gone. So all of these
things are what we do in mind, not just for
the vanity of it, but for the functionality and long
term movement that we aim to have as we age.

Speaker 2 (20:10):
The biggest thing we did was we changed our nutrition.
We no longer wake up first thing in the morning
and run to eat breakfast. That's something that we were
all taught that breakfast was the most important meal of
the day. If you get you they started without breakfast,
that you can't have a good functional day.

Speaker 1 (20:25):
It's not the truth. It's actually the opposite.

Speaker 2 (20:28):
We've noticed that if we delay eating breakfast and we
get some work done first, minus the days where I
got lower heavy if I got lower heavy body, I'm
gonna eat me something for that because then I feel lightheaded.

Speaker 1 (20:38):
But in days where I don't have a lot of
heavy weights to lift.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
I'll delay eating breakfast because my body stays in key
toasis and it allows me to burn fat. And then
the first thing I put in my body is not
a bunch of sugar. I'm not gonna have pancakes and
French toast with.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
A bunch of oat meal.

Speaker 2 (20:54):
All that I'll tell Okay, I'll take eggs and berries,
Bluebear reason eggs, that's it. I'll take drink my coconut water.
That's another thing we do. We started to eat drink
more constructed water. So rather than just drinking regular water
from the tap or water from the bottle, don't drink
disanisny is like the worst water you can ever drink

(21:15):
in your life. Get some coconut water, get some watermelon
juice water, honeydew, melon water, like these are things that
may have some electrolytes.

Speaker 5 (21:24):
But you know what I learned because a lot of
just people who are I guess not well informed or
just not completely informed. A lot of people do like
colon cleanting, which I think there can be some benefits
to colon cleansing, But something I learned is that it
depletes your body of electrolytes. It does, and electrolytes are

(21:48):
good for your heart health. So a lot of people
end up with like heart damage or heart failure doing
colon cleansing.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
Absolutely right, Those are not meant to be done all
the time, or it's not a quick fix.

Speaker 5 (22:02):
I saw an influencer never I know.

Speaker 2 (22:08):
When I played in the NFL, Right, they were talking
to us about colon cleansing to lose weight. A lot
of athletes had to lose weight in order, you know,
contract stuff. I gotta be down to two fifteen and
they talking about right before camp, I'll go get my
colon cleans and I lose like six pounds and I'm like, bro,
it's not supposed to be used like that where you
just use it every time we have something to lose weight.
If you're not at the desired weight, that's because you're

(22:30):
not living the lifestyle to be at the desired weight.
All these quick fix things ozembic, do we go v
the colon cleanse. Anything that's gonna quickly fix what you're
going through is gonna ultimately kill you. That's that's everything,
and that's we've changed our lifestyle with that. That's why
we wanted to do this so much, because it's not
about doing all of these super fad diets. Change your lifestyle,

(22:52):
make better choices. Do I still drink? Yeah, at night times,
I may have me a glass of wine. I may
give me some in moderation, Right, I may get me
a drink or some some rum with some coke at
the end of the night. But because I'm not drinking
a whole bunch of of high fructose corn syrup during
the day, if I have a cup of coke with
my rum at night, I don't feel bad. I still

(23:13):
may eat candy at night. If I smoke a little
bit of weed and I got the munchies, I may
get some candy. Now, my candy is not gonna be
five Snickers and ten packs of gummy beers.

Speaker 5 (23:23):
Man, I can't even keep a bag of many Snickers
in the house.

Speaker 3 (23:28):
Many ones hit better than the longing about its yeah.

Speaker 4 (23:39):
Joints versus the regular joints anytime.

Speaker 5 (23:42):
Absolutely that's been important for me, is like just trying
to change my diet and making just better choices when
especially when it comes to like snacks. So instead of
getting a bag of candy, I'll get a bag of
dried fruits.

Speaker 3 (23:54):
Yeah there you go to mangos mango apples. Like that's
been really good too. But I do believe, like the boys,
for example, going back to school, I do believe every
maybe annually, you do like a reset. So back to
back one tradition that my grandmother did with us every
year before going back to school. You know what it is, right,

(24:14):
You get your wash out, okay, and that's pretty much
when she would boil some herbs, little senna, this, that
and the third, and then you would drink the tea.
My mother would drop us to my grandmother's house on
a Friday evening and we would stay with her through
the weekend. And we had to make sure that there
was a toilet available for each of us because throughout
the weekend your body would pretty much expel all the weights.

(24:35):
I do think like every now and again that's necessary.
But then you have to replenish your body with the
things that may have been depleted. So that's a good
point to triple about the colon cleansing.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
That is, that's a really good point. I also noticed
that with people they make excuses. Right, it's expensive to
eat healthy.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
This is a fact. Right.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
We would go get a brunch on a Sunday, family
of six of us, right plus mom and dad a
family of eight and a brunch will cost us anywhere
between eight hundred to one thousand dollars. Right, Seriously, bunches,
think about it, bunch, think about when I think people
go to brunch, right, what do they have a lot of.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
Oh, bottomless momosa drinking wafles.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
So it's about one hundred dollars per person when you
go to you know what I'm saying. We go to
the farmers market.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
Now, she spends three hundred and fifty dollars and we
have fruits and vegetables and food for the entire week.
So when people say like it's impossible to eat healthy,
it's not. Yeah, we got to drive forty five minutes
to the farmers market because there's no farmers.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
Market by the house.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
But yo, rather than driving to Sunday brunch with your homegirls,
how about we all drive to the farmers market, get
some groceries for the crib, go back home and make
some stuff at the crib, and eat healthier.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
This is where you can live longer, because once you
change your lifestyle, you be shocked.

Speaker 4 (25:56):
Be shocked.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
We walk into movies now and not only me, kids
be like, I don't want no candy.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
It's like your body just don't get you.

Speaker 3 (26:03):
Don't want anymore, and then you start craving the things
that you've been putting in. So we went to Mexico
with the boys for vacation, went to the Nickelodeon resort. Right,
all things there are catering to kids. So de Val
and I went there and we were just like, oh
my god, how are we going to eat? Because we've
been accustomed to eating a certain kind of way, and
we would load up on breakfast mainly because we can
get eggs, we can get the fresh fruit and things

(26:24):
like that.

Speaker 4 (26:24):
But after that, forget it.

Speaker 6 (26:27):
Chicken fingers burgers, you.

Speaker 4 (26:28):
Know, and that's just it.

Speaker 3 (26:30):
When I came home, I landed, I literally was craving
a big.

Speaker 4 (26:34):
Like kale salad.

Speaker 3 (26:36):
I was that I need greens, I need all the things.
But everything was in moderation, y'all. You have to slowly
cut things in moderation. You can't cold turkey say I'm
gonna drop this, I'm gonna drop that, because you will
end up binging. By making small changes, little by little,
it's more impactful, I promise.

Speaker 2 (26:55):
We can also talk about this. Though we no longer
plan vacations around food, A lot of people do that,
especially Americans. Right, We're gonna go.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
Somewhere and it's like they gotta a buffet for breakfast. Buffet.

Speaker 2 (27:07):
It's like, why do we go on vacation and look
to pig out like this is the last supper. When
me and Kadeen did say, yo, let's get some eggs
in the morning, let's get some fresh fruit.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
Will fast through.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
The end of the night, and then when we can
get a really good dinner, we'll eat dinner. And what
we notice is that we're no longer on vacation bloated
and heavy and tire because.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
We're sitting on the beach drinking like rum punches because
that's what we use.

Speaker 4 (27:31):
Super sweet.

Speaker 5 (27:36):
Yeah. Yeah, I think one thing that people may be
referring to because I know that there's there's people who
are living in poverty who it is actually expensive to
eat healthy for absolutely yeah. And then there are people
who can't afford to go to brunch on the weekends
who think that eating healthy is expensive. But maybe it's
that it takes a lot more effort than what they

(27:57):
are used to or what they have capacity for where
they think they have capacity for it. Because most of
us eating vegetables is we eat vegetables that we grew
up eating. We can steam a green bean, a broccoli,
maybe a little cauliflower, maybe a kale salad. That's kind
of new to some of us that we might be
able to saltakee some of that, But what else do
you do? And now you got to figure out a recipe.
You got to figure out what's a good protein to

(28:20):
eat if I can't eat red meat, or like what
kind of vegetables can I eat that won't make me
feel blooded? All that stuff takes a lot of effort.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
Yeah, you know, it's crazy though thinking about that.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
My grandparents were alive during the Great Depression, and what
I learned during that time speaking to them was that
when they were going through times where they were in
extreme poverty, they didn't just look for anything to eat.
They ate less because we really don't have to force
feed ourselves to eat four or five times. So, say
you live in a place or you're in a position

(28:49):
where financially you just don't have it. That was us
in two thousand and nine to twenty twelve where Kadeena
and I were eating eggs in the morning in grits
multiple times during the day because we didn't have the
ability to go to brunch every week. So it was
like eggs became our thing. And for me, it's like
if you live in a position where you can't afford

(29:10):
every single meal. It's going to sound crazy, but it's
okay to not eat every single meal. Like we have
to stop being gluttonous and just thinking that, you know
what I gotta eat, So let me get McDonald's. Yeah,
you know what, you don't have to eat. Get some
coconut water, you know what I'm saying. Get some berries
or something you can eat, and then it later on
to night, save that money that you have and try

(29:31):
to get some beef, try to get a chicken said,
you know, try to get something that has value.

Speaker 5 (29:36):
Well, that's what I was gonna say. Like, it does
become expensive when you're trying to eat when you don't
know how to make vegetables, you don't know how to
use herbs, So you're getting processed foods. You're trying to
mimic what you already were eating, but you're trying to
do it in a quote unquote healthier way. So you're
getting ultraprocessed foods that maybe like plant based or maybe
low fat. That stuff can be expensive just because their

(29:58):
marketing is health time. Yeah, it's not necessarily healthy, and
then you still will end up with, you know, health
issues because this stuff has a lot of sugar.

Speaker 4 (30:07):
It's got a lot of yeah.

Speaker 7 (30:10):
No.

Speaker 3 (30:10):
And it's also not even just what you're eating, is
the way you're preparing it, because you can have the
same meal with for example, using vegetable oil versus avocado oil,
and using a spray can oil versus liquid oil. Like
I forget which I was looking at something else because
my feet is like all health now, But they were

(30:30):
showing the comparison between you know, a tablespoon of olive
oil that you cooked with versus just using the spray.

Speaker 4 (30:37):
It brought the meal up like.

Speaker 3 (30:38):
Three hundred calories. So sometimes the way you prepare certain meals, too,
will also dictate how nutritious it is.

Speaker 2 (30:46):
I'm glad you brought up the oils and understanding now
that we don't put the same oils in our food
that we did. We don't use margarine because all of
these things, even the idea of plant based. Do you
know why they call things plant based not because it
comes from a place. It is because it comes from
a plant. It's made with chemicals. People don't even realize that.
And what happens is it was when I seriously was

(31:11):
a marketing employer to trick people into thinking this is
healthier than eating meat. This is healthier, So let me
go plant based. So now you have a lot of
vegans now who are saying, man, I didn't know what
was in those impossible burgers until I did research and
realized they.

Speaker 1 (31:25):
Use a bunch of chemical compounds.

Speaker 2 (31:27):
And so and so with seasonings and salt and sugar
to make it taste like a burger. And it's like,
how healthy is that? It's not healthy? But it was
never meant to be healthy.

Speaker 1 (31:36):
Just like why is Kentucky Fried Chicken now called KFC.

Speaker 6 (31:41):
Not chicken barbe.

Speaker 7 (31:45):
Islands barbecuing.

Speaker 4 (31:47):
You can't best KFC is in the Islands, bro.

Speaker 5 (31:51):
That's why, for sure that Anthony Bourdain said the best
KFC was in Egypt.

Speaker 4 (31:57):
We've never it's on the it's on the bucket list
of things to do.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
I do think it's important for us to understand, to
understand why food is the way it is in America.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
Food has food has been used not only to manipulate us,
but to keep us in a certain space.

Speaker 7 (32:10):
Right.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
I don't know who's watched these documentaries like What the
Health and things like that, but I think it was
in the nineteen fifties when Big Tobacco was facing a
lot of litigation because people are getting addicted to tobacco,
and because Big Tobacco was under fire, they went and
got in bed with not the Drug Administration, but the
Food Administration. So now they created the same addicting qualities

(32:31):
and put it in the food and now they're starting.

Speaker 1 (32:33):
If you read it up on it, it's like FDA.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
Approves lab grown salmon now to be sold in restaurants,
attributed and distributed in America. So it's like, wait, so
if I just go to a restaurant and I just
order a salmon, you're able to know where it came from.
This is what's happening. So yeah, you might want to
start getting a garden in your backyard. I'm gonna just
grow some cucumbers and some stuff just for myself, you know,

(32:56):
I'm gonna's And that's.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
What we're on now, Like this is the farmer's market.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
It's pops tomatoes and Pops cucumbers back there everybody, and.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
It is making those it's making those choices.

Speaker 4 (33:13):
No, you're absolutely right.

Speaker 3 (33:14):
I mean I wish I lived somewhere that was year round,
a little bit more tropical, Like I see why a
lot of people moved to Florida for that purpose of
you know what, I want to grow my own stuff.

Speaker 5 (33:23):
I have a hydroponic garden. I grow food inside. It's
been pretty good. The one that I have is kind
of small, so I can make just like a few
little things here and there. So I'm getting used to
like what what crops do I need and how many
do I need to grow or how many can I
grow that can make enough for me to kind of
sustain stay on a regular basis. Right, But it's been

(33:45):
really it's been eye opening, and I think I'll take
it further. Like I know, I can get some like
garden beds and maybe grow things that grow in abundance,
like maybe some spinach plants or maybe some cucumber plants
or something like that that will that I can grow
in abundance outside of the hydroproduict garden and then use
that for other things.

Speaker 4 (34:03):
That Yeah, that's so cool.

Speaker 3 (34:04):
I even learned when I went back to Saint Vincent
last October with my dad that farming was in the
curriculum at their schools. Yes, and that's where because I
was like, Dad, where'd you learn how to grow vegetables?
You just have this green thumb, and he was like,
I didn't just develop it. I was taught this, you know,
when I was growing up.

Speaker 5 (34:21):
And we all should learn because you know, social services
are under fire, yeah, and the things are being deregulated.
The more we moved toward like conservative politics, the more
corporations are going to be deregulated, which means that the
quality of our food, the quality of our healthcare is
going to go down, down, down, and the prices are

(34:43):
going to skyrocket. So we have to be able to
grow our own food and sustain on our own without
relying on corporations more and more every day.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
As people, though we were never supposed to and I'm
just talking about all people. We were never supposed to
rely on the government for our health. That's on us,
you know, and that's on us to teach our kids better.
You know, if you start these practices now, you'll be
surprised how your children because I see it with my
four children. We go into the movies and it's like,
y'all want gummy beers and they're like, nah, not really,

(35:13):
Like we have to take pride and ownership and what
we put into our body, and let's not forget you
know why the sun is so important, K.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
The sun gives you nutrients. Do you know why so
many people are hungry.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
We've become a sedentary community where we're inside often, and
the nutrients we get from the sun, we don't get them,
so our body's looking for them. So now we try
to eat them, and we overeat because we're not outside.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
We have to get outside and move. It doesn't matter
if it's the wintertime.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
Put a hat on, put a coat on, and walk
for thirty minutes. Getting outside in the sun is very important.
Now I'm not telling you to go out there and
bake like K. My wife is a freaking Thanksgiving turkey.
Should be outside for four hours.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
I do it. Yeah, I can't do it.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
Can't wait to be in W forty five forty seven.
I speak in terms of foundation color. When I used
to work at MAC, I was like, maybe I'm going
to vacation and come back in W forty five n
W forty seven.

Speaker 4 (36:12):
I can't wait.

Speaker 5 (36:13):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
I like, I ain't even gonna lie.

Speaker 3 (36:15):
Like this, so I love I looked this up real
quick because I do remember also seeing a clip where
they were describing or explaining where the whole breakfast, lunch,
and dinner history came from, and that pretty much was
largely a product of the Industrial Revolution and the impact
that it had on work patterns. So it sstorically people
only ate one or two meals a day back in

(36:37):
the day, like animals exactly, but with dinner being the
traditional main meal that you would eat before or by
seven pm, right, because you want your your body to
also be in sync with the cart like Ocadian rhythm.

Speaker 4 (36:54):
Yes, so in order to do that, you would normally
stop at seven.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
But with the nine to five that was put in place,
people started getting home later, eating later. So the shift
to the three meal structure with lunch becoming a midday
meal for workers was driven by the need for convenient
and quick meals during the factory and office hours, so
we weren't necessarily made to eat no three times a
day plus snacks and all that.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
Look up how they came up with breakfast. Kellogg's made
a whole campaign, Yeah, a whole camp.

Speaker 5 (37:23):
That's the same thing with the food pyramid exactly because yeah,
because of the wheat wheat production.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
Yeah, to sell it, So tell them that, tell them
that cereal is important thing that you have to have
in the morning.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
They put a bunch of sugar in it, and.

Speaker 4 (37:37):
Then it was got milk.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
It was got milk because you wanted people to drink
more milk, and then it was.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
Just like your bone stronger.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
All of these campaigns were all just social conditioning to
get us to spend money on things that we didn't
really need in abundance, and now we're running out of it.
So now we're running out of these things that we
ate in abundance, so now we're producing it, and now
you want us to.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
Do eat the fake food like it's real food.

Speaker 2 (37:59):
And then after we eat the fake food and get sick,
you want us to take the medication to fix the
symptoms from the fake food from the campaign that you
made up.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
And it's like, nah, you're not doing that no more.

Speaker 5 (38:11):
Way.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
But that's really what's happening, and they don't want us
to talk about it, so we might get canceled.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
Don't care because I'm not eating it.

Speaker 5 (38:18):
So I have a request, and I guess everybody can
do this because I have I have one that I
would share too. But what's one practical resource that you
can share with people who are trying to make lifestyle
changes today. And it doesn't have to be something that's expensive.
It can be one thing that you can do to
motivate you to work out, or one workout you can do.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
Go outside, go outside and walks.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
That's it.

Speaker 2 (38:45):
I'm twenty minutes practical. Go outside and walk. If you
have a hell even better, go outside and walk up
the hill. Start doing that every single day. And if
it's if it's a nice climate, take your hat off,
take your shirt off, walk outside and get as much
sun as the possible. I promise you not only will
you just feel better because the sun will be on you,

(39:07):
but I forgot what it's called in your brain.

Speaker 1 (39:08):
It's escaping me right now. Dope.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
Dopamine is a dopamine hit when you work out and
you just feel better. So you asked about what you
can start that's going to help you get super charged
to do that, Start walking outside in the sun, and
when you feel that dopamine hit afterwards, it's gonna be
like I can't wait for tomorrow to get my walk in.
Then if you add that to some heavy weights.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
Which don't got to be super heavy.

Speaker 2 (39:31):
If you got like a twenty five pound plate anything,
and you hold it and you do squats with shoulder press.
The dopamine hit is gonna be like I can't wait
for tomorrow, and then before you know it, my lifestyle
has become. That's why I think people in La to
be honest, look better. I don't think it's because it's
the plastic city.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
I don't.

Speaker 4 (39:49):
I really think Miami is the same thing.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
That's what I was going to say.

Speaker 4 (39:53):
A lot of people in Miami look fairly healthy.

Speaker 5 (39:55):
Because you can be outside every day.

Speaker 4 (39:57):
Yeah I don't have a treadmill. Okay, well you got heels. Yeah,
you got a running cannon or hikes.

Speaker 3 (40:04):
You know.

Speaker 4 (40:04):
I think my one thing.

Speaker 3 (40:05):
Would be cut the sugar man. Cut the sugar. Sugar
in the brain is dementia. Sugar in the blood is diabetes.
Sugar in the skin aging. Cut the sugar. Yeah, as
much as you can, I mean, and you have to
understand it's not just refined sugars. There's also the processed sugars.

(40:26):
There's the carbohydrates that break.

Speaker 4 (40:28):
Down into sugar.

Speaker 3 (40:30):
You know, you go to your local western end restaurant,
they're going to bag you up with one set of
rice and gravy, and then the protein is at a
minimum and it needs to be reversed. We need to
have an abundance of protein, and then yeah, barely any
you know, barely any steam cabbage. So I would just
say that cut the sugar off, because once you do that,
you'll notice so much, so much of a difference between

(40:51):
the way you feel. It's going to be hard in
the beginning because your body will probably crave it. It's literally
an addiction that you have. But if you're able to
cut it and curb it, you'll realize that you don't
even want it anymore. Things are going to be too sweet,
Like I can't even I used to be able to
down a can of gingerrell or coke easily. Now I
take maybe a sip if I want a little taste
for something, But I stick to water all day fast.

Speaker 7 (41:11):
That's me a lot of stuff, apple juice, orange juice.
I'll dilute it with water. Yeah, probably ten juice. Water.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
I can't drink the same way we saw it with
the kids.

Speaker 5 (41:21):
Yeah, I don't drink. I haven't drank soda really in
a long time. That's the one thing, because you know,
sometimes you can't cut all the sugar. You gotta cut
cut one thing. You can get so I cut soda
a long time ago, but sometimes I crave like a pepsi,
like if I especially if I was drinking the night before.
So my birthday weekend, I got drunkie. Yeah, and then

(41:43):
I was like with my friends who came in town,
and I was like, I'm about to stop at the
store and get a pepsi and they shamed me so.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
Bad that I didn't.

Speaker 5 (41:51):
I didn't even get to have that pepsi. So, yeah,
get you some friends that will shame you out of
having a sugary drink. Is given accountability, but that's that's
not my resource. I think it's people. So when you're
talking about lifestyle changes, when you talk about eating healthier,
the Value said something earlier that was like, basically, we don't.

(42:13):
People don't eat to live. You know, you were saying
you don't always have to eat, like that's you eat
to live. We don't do that. We have a culture
of living to eat. We like to eat. We want
something that tastes good, we want it to look good.
We wanted to be savory and succulent, like the meat
that what's his name fed Geneva. Yes, I think it's

(42:37):
important to understand that you can do that with healthier foods,
And one way you can do that is just by
exploring new recipes. I love making a new recipe and
I use a meal planner called twenty two Days Nutrition
inspired by Beyonce. It's the famous meal planner that she
uses vegan, that she used before Coachella and everything is vegan.

(42:58):
And I've tried so many different recipes from this meal
planner and they're all good.

Speaker 6 (43:03):
Are they really good?

Speaker 5 (43:03):
They're really good.

Speaker 3 (43:04):
I want to get I want to learn how to
like cook mushrooms more, and you know, things that are
easily not easily accessible, but things that are more but
not meat essentially, like if I went because for me,
chicken is a trigger, I can have it in moderation,
so I want to find like a substitute for that
as I like kind of transition out of eating certain things.

Speaker 5 (43:21):
So yeah, I think twenty Today's Nutrition is like twenty
five dollars a quarter, So that's like what ten dollars
twelve dollars a month, but you only get charged every
quarter and it's like unlimited recipes. It's super helpful and
it helps me to eat more vegetables because I would
just cook vegan meals at home, or I would use

(43:41):
some of those vegan meals for like breakfast or just
lunch vegan or whatever. So I was eating more vegetables,
trying more vegetables, figuring out that I like other types
of vegetables, and then being able to expand my palate
that way.

Speaker 4 (43:53):
Yeah, a lot of it is retraining your palate.

Speaker 7 (43:55):
Yeah, yeah, spage of time getting into don't jump into
all these diet fasts as well. Yeah, a lot of
people burn out. I want to make the change, then
they try to do like a South it's not sustainable. Yeah,
you do all of that right away into the cold turkey.
It's like your body.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
And we all grew up on highly saturated foods with
salt and sugar because you know, historically that's what families
needed to survive. I remember my family, like they're from
the South, and no matter what it was, you put
pork in it, and you put sugar in it, and
you put salt in it. It met collar greens, stringbands, cabbage.
I mean we had cabbage and you would put a

(44:33):
slice of bacon in there. We would put some syrup
on it with corn bread, and now that I think
about it, we grew up during the time where our
ancestors didn't have much, so they.

Speaker 1 (44:42):
Had to make it taste good.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
Like chillens is not something you're supposed to eat off
of a pig, but we had.

Speaker 7 (44:47):
That's all they gave us.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
That's not something you're supposed to eat off of a cow,
but we had to make it work. Now it's a delicacy,
but I still also requires a lot of salt, a
lot of sugar.

Speaker 1 (44:59):
You got to mix up the green.

Speaker 4 (45:01):
I'm still dear, dear, dear, dear dear. It's about sixteen pound.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
Last time I saw, I said, okay, lord, you know
I'm not supposed to have beef nohouse, so you made
the super expensive.

Speaker 4 (45:12):
Yes, the one thing that's non negotiable. I'm gonna eat some.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
We're not going to sit here and act like we
holy than that.

Speaker 4 (45:17):
Because I am not the pillar of We're gonna get.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
Some biscuits at night.

Speaker 6 (45:21):
All that.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
We're gonna playing biscuits and spades, curry mutton.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
Like.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
That's what we're trying to tell y'all. Like, you don't
have to go eat no moderation, balance, you know, but
take care of yourself consistent.

Speaker 8 (45:33):
The most important thing I think is understanding what you're eating, yes,
and and not be ignorant to what you're putting your route.
Like I've learned pause waiting for the moment. But I've
been so proactively conscious in what I've eaten over the
past few years because I've trained my social media to

(45:55):
also include the foods and educate myself on that better.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
Because of seriously though, like your skin looks better people
watching you lost weight in your face.

Speaker 8 (46:06):
And I think part of it is just like not
being ignorant to what I'm actually eating, but just taking
the steps to learn that and then coupling that with
the exercise. If you don't, if you're not conscious of
what you're eating. One suggestion I have is a Yuca app.
It's changed everything.

Speaker 5 (46:23):
Likes it.

Speaker 8 (46:24):
If you when you go to the grocery store and
scan what you're eating, and you'll see that every single
thing that they're giving us is bad for They'll tell
you specifically what is in the app, So what is
in the food, what preservatives they use, the health benefits
the lack thereof with the symptoms of are some of
the chemicals that they're giving us. I mean, we're eating

(46:45):
as ADHD prone food food all the time. We're eating
food that is bad for our gut all the time.
We're eating food that's going to make us depressed all
the time. And also add of benefit that it also
gives you for like hair care products and like some
of the stuff that we use, like loves to buy Dove,
but understanding what doves you're buying could also have an

(47:08):
effect on your homeowns and all that. So I think
every single thing that they're giving us is they're trying
to kill us.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
They're literally trying too based.

Speaker 8 (47:16):
They're trying to get our money, but in the process
of it, process of it, they're trying to kill ourself. Pharmacy,
K in yourself on what you're consuming, putting in your body,
putting on I'm glad you brought that up because we've
noticed the change too. We used to use Dove deodorant
with the allument the aluminum in it, and it's like
every couple of months I would get like a swollen
gland in my under arms.

Speaker 2 (47:36):
Same thing with K and I said, I must be
using too much deoderant. Since then, we started using native
deoderant and native is all natural, there's no aluminum in it.
And I don't smell, And I said, you know what,
I've noticed even one days I forget to put on
my deodorant because I don't eat the toxic food that
I was eating before. It doesn't see my Yeah, you know.

Speaker 4 (47:57):
A lot of body odor is because of what you you.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
And some people have overactive glens, though that's not for
Some people do sweat a lot, but I'm just not
a person that has overapped.

Speaker 4 (48:07):
Somebody can't can't handle the people.

Speaker 6 (48:11):
Yes, you need it to.

Speaker 5 (48:13):
Be fair like you if you're a man, though I
think you should. You should stick a little bit like
let me let me know you picked something heavy up today,
saying don't come over here smell like fresh linen niggas
all the time.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
I need you to smell like smelling that snak. You
lift anything exactly what it is you like you do it.
Don't listen to triples.

Speaker 5 (48:39):
You don't want you anyway.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
That is true, though, I don't wash your still with these.

Speaker 5 (48:47):
Women who actually like man want do you want.

Speaker 1 (48:50):
To have stinky man?

Speaker 4 (48:52):
I'm not a little bit.

Speaker 6 (48:54):
You don't want to be like a little bit?

Speaker 1 (48:55):
What was you?

Speaker 7 (48:56):
Sometimes?

Speaker 3 (48:58):
I mean, I'm not going to like I don't You're
the same ones that say I'm not doing morning breath either,
So if you want the kids or something, you better
go broke your tea first, like.

Speaker 6 (49:04):
I'm not doing. You know what it was for me,
not preferably.

Speaker 5 (49:10):
I lived in Zanzibar for a summer and the men
there all smelled like bo But then they would take
their shirts off and they would be ripped, and I
was like, Damn, that's why they stink, because these niggas
be working. I don't stink, bro, That's because you were

(49:33):
in the gym. These niggas was outside. Ain't had no gym,
you know what I'm saying. They dragged bales of fucking
grass and ship boarding houses. But there they climb in
your hand trees with no fucking ladders.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
So why you ain't get a zens a bar and husband?

Speaker 5 (49:51):
They I'm gay, That's why I can't. Really.

Speaker 3 (49:57):
And the last thing that Josh made me think about
when talking about Dove is sunscreen.

Speaker 4 (50:02):
Yeah, so we no longer use sunscreen like that anymore.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
Talk about it.

Speaker 3 (50:07):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (50:07):
The uptick is screen didn't win.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
I think it was like thirty eight or nineteen forty three,
one of the forties, and the same time sunscreen was invented,
melanoma cases just went through the roof. Because the truth
of the matter is when you put chemicals on your
skin and then baking the sun, now you're baking chemicals
through your body.

Speaker 1 (50:27):
You drink alcohol sitting and baking the sun like.

Speaker 4 (50:29):
You're on vacation.

Speaker 3 (50:30):
You're drinking your little peanut colata with running it probably,
then your spring suntan lotion or spray on your body,
and then you're sitting in the sun put.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
A mosquito repellent on you.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
It's yes, right, that too, and eating processed meats and
the same You're doing all of this stuff to your
body and saying that the sun is giving you cancer
it's not, and expecting your body to be able to
fight off.

Speaker 8 (50:50):
All this stuff all at the same time, it's taxing
on yourself.

Speaker 5 (50:54):
It's so true. I would say I would people to
understand the correlation but tween the skin cancer and sunscreen,
because I think too, there are other things that happened
after nineteen thirty six that made people more exposed to
the sun, more exposed to diet.

Speaker 4 (51:11):
Yeah, absolutely, the environmental change.

Speaker 5 (51:13):
This may not be the sunscreen, and there's different types
of sunscreen. There's mineral sunscreen that is not chemical. There's
chemical sunscreen. So I would say do your research to
figure out what we said.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
We're not doctors, so we're not claiming to be doctors.
But what we can tell you is that in a
year and a half, we have not used sunscreen. I
used chocolate butter sometimes and I have not burned once.
In college, when I was drinking heavy and wearing sunscreen,
I burned.

Speaker 1 (51:42):
All the time. That's that's just a fact.

Speaker 6 (51:45):
Let it be.

Speaker 1 (51:47):
I wasn't burned like that. I was like, no, we
will go on vacation.

Speaker 2 (51:51):
And I remember my thirtieth, my thirtieth birthday, We want
a vacation with Tip Steve, and we was drinking like
we was.

Speaker 1 (51:57):
We was going hamm like this is my thirtieth birthday.

Speaker 2 (51:59):
We haven't double shots, but were putting on sunscreen and
putting on insect repellent.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
And I come in that night and it's red, all
under red.

Speaker 4 (52:09):
You don't want to skin the water to touch your
skin and as.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
But cut to now, we go to Jamaica and I'm
outside with the boys at Dun's River and we're outside
for three four hours and I don't put anything else
on but chaka butter one time in the morning, and
I don't I don't burn. But I also I'm not
drinking alcohol and alcohol, right, I'm not processed foods. I'm
out there drinking coconut water, you know, So there is

(52:33):
other mitigating factors, which is absolutely correct.

Speaker 1 (52:36):
It's not just the sunscreen, for sure, you do all
of that. Like what Josh said, your body can't fight that.

Speaker 2 (52:41):
You're putting processed meeting your body pause, you're putting sunscreen on,
You're drinking alcohol.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
It's like all of that combined.

Speaker 7 (52:49):
Like come on, son, Remember alcohol is already bad. So
if you're gonna hear Hennessy or any dark room with
a coke, you're just doubling up on the sugar. Sugar,
I know, get some coconut water, get some club soda.
If you drinking tequila, there's other ways to drink.

Speaker 6 (53:06):
That's true.

Speaker 5 (53:07):
Y'all know.

Speaker 3 (53:07):
I love rum is my lover, but I actually have
cut back a lot on rum and drinking in general.

Speaker 4 (53:12):
I really just kind of like I'll be on all
this step all right, y'all.

Speaker 3 (53:20):
We hope that this episode helped y'all out just to
at least start thinking about it, having the conversations with yourself,
with your loved ones, people around you, to see what
changes you can make to just be a healthier version
of yourself. And we are going to pay some bills
and come back with listen letters. So stay tuned, y'all
will be right back, all right, well back where our

(53:51):
listener letter of the day. Hey Kadeina Devou. First, I
wanted to say thank you for your representation of positive
black love, black excellence and enterprise. I've been watching you
guys since the BK days.

Speaker 4 (54:01):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 3 (54:03):
Man.

Speaker 4 (54:03):
We love our day Once.

Speaker 3 (54:04):
So, my question surrounds overgiving. My question surrounds overgiving in relationships.
I recently started holding my friends and love interests accountable
for how they treat me. Historically, I've been the type
to perform to keep people around, and I've shrunk myself.

Speaker 4 (54:23):
For decades so that others wouldn't.

Speaker 3 (54:25):
See me as a threat. I have many talents a
conventional beauty. I've often hidden both because to keep people
around me happy. I'm turning thirty one next month, and
I'm tired, as you should be. My parents and siblings
have always made me reduce myself to serve them. I
come from a domestic and substance abuse household, and I've
carried this into my relationships. But enough is enough now

(54:49):
that I'm on my healing journey, I feel selfish for
choosing me. I recently asked two people closest to me
to show up for me. Both relationships have ended because
of it. One friend hasn't visited me in LA she
lives in New York for over ten years, despite me
sending thousands of dollars I didn't have on flights to
visit her over the years. Another only calls when they

(55:10):
need something, Otherwise they don't check in or answer the phone.
I feel stretched thin. I recently asked both show up
for me with presents, and I was shocked when they
severed ties. My friend from New York literally canceled her
trip to visit me on my birthday once I mentioned
to her that she hadn't been showing up for me
for years. Mind you, this was after a reschedule in

(55:33):
my PTO. Oh, she had to reschedule Okay, paid time off,
cancel plans, and agreed to host her second two year old.
Who oh, she was gonna bring her two year old
who she never even asked if she could bring the
other ghosted me once I stopped reaching out. Maybe I
shouldn't have mentioned to my friends my growing resentment before
she came to visit. She's always been no fuss when

(55:56):
I visited, but the visits have always been on her terms.
She didn't ask me much about birthday plans and said
I had too many expectations when confronting her about overlooking
my birthday? Am I doing something wrong? My circle's getting
smaller and smaller, and I wonder if the way I'm
going about caring for myself is selfish. I want community,

(56:16):
but it just seems like community doesn't want me. I
work in film and tech, so I know these communities exist.
But to be honest, I'm a little too jaded to
even try anymore. Help us us out bitter but better.

Speaker 1 (56:30):
Yeah, she handled that all room?

Speaker 4 (56:32):
What did you say?

Speaker 1 (56:33):
She handled that all wrong? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (56:34):
Okay us because for decades she performed in a way
that she thought people wanted her to perform to appease them.
So what she did was trained people I was about
to treat them the way to treat her. I wanted
to treat her the way they wanted to treat her,
and the minute she changed, they were honest and said, okay,
I don't want to do this.

Speaker 1 (56:51):
You can't hold that against them. Miss.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
They are showing you who they are. You bit the bullet,
and you were honest, and they showed you how they
want to treat you. So now you move that over
and now you create a community with people who are
going to see you the way you want to be
treated from the very beginning.

Speaker 4 (57:06):
Yeah, that's starting from scratch, right.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
Yeah, that's the only thing she did wrong was expecting
them to treat her differently after she performed for ten years.
You created that monster, you andable. Yeah, and now that
they are being honest with how they want to treat you,
just accepted. Don't feel bad. But now you know that
they weren't really friends for you. They were there for
what they could get from you. And that's okay because
you don't have to deal with that anymore.

Speaker 4 (57:27):
Yeah, they were friends with your representative.

Speaker 3 (57:29):
Yeah, whoever you were showing up for or as in
that friendship is who they thought they were getting. And
the minute that you said, you know what, that's not
really me. You can't fault them for kind of being
a bit jaded because they're like, wait a second, you're
not the same person that we thought you were. Yeah,
and these are just not your people at this point.
And people are also seasonal, like not all friends are
going to be with you for your entire life. You
realize that people are around for a season and then

(57:51):
you can move on.

Speaker 5 (57:53):
Yeah, she said she comes from a domestic and subs
abuse household, which has probably made her hyper vigilance over time,
which means that she's doing whatever she can to keep
people in a good mood. Yeah, happy people pleaser probably, yes.
And yeah, you don't really make really good community as
a people pleaser. You make community with users.

Speaker 1 (58:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (58:13):
Absolutely.

Speaker 5 (58:14):
And also I think to your your other friends has
a two year old, so it sounds like she's prioritizing
something else for herself that doesn't really align with what
is going on in your life. So it's okay to
get some new friends in La. Yeah, there's there's plenty
of people around you that you can make new and
really good friends with. It's not too late to make
great friends in your thirties.

Speaker 3 (58:34):
Where you don't have to shrink and be a version
of yourself that is dumbed down, Like go out there
and be great. You're gonna be thirty one, like these
are about to be the best best years of your life,
So you need to walk through your truth.

Speaker 5 (58:46):
Yeah. I also want to see what she looked like,
because she was like, you know, I got my shit together,
I'm real cute, conventional beauty.

Speaker 1 (58:53):
That what you said, though, was true. She comes from
the household. That household.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
She probably had the people please to stay safe. Yes, yeah,
and that's become her reality. But to be honest, we
got to stop blaming other people. When we've people pleaded
for so long and they're like you acting different, You
can't blame them for saying you acting different because you
are acting different.

Speaker 1 (59:15):
That's changed up.

Speaker 2 (59:16):
Yeah, you know, but understand that now that you acting different,
they can act different too. So accepted.

Speaker 4 (59:21):
Yeah, absolutely, all right, Hope that was a help to you.

Speaker 3 (59:24):
If you want to be featured as a listener letter
moving forward, send us an email.

Speaker 4 (59:28):
We can't wait to hear from y'all. The ellis Advice
at gmail dot com.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
That's t h e E L l I A s
A d v I c E E at gmail dot com.

Speaker 3 (59:38):
All Right, moment of truth time. We're talking health. Today's
five help tips to health tips to help you live
a better life. I think mine is just you have
one body. You literally have one body. This is the
body that shows up for you, and if you don't
show up for it, it won't show up for you.

(59:59):
So do the best that you can for yourself, like
you should want to be the healthiest version of yourself
for you and for nobody else. But people will reap
the benefits. I think about my children, who, as I
grow older, will then have to eventually one day not
take care of me per se.

Speaker 4 (01:00:17):
But I don't want them to have to.

Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
Be inconvenience taking care of me because I didn't do
my part while I was able to then take care
of myself and be a better healthy version as I
get older, so they're not I'm not relying on my
children or my family to have to take care of me.

Speaker 2 (01:00:32):
I'm gonna piggyback off of what you said, you only
get one body. In other parts of the world, people
live to ninety years old and they're functional and they're
mobile and they're healthy and they're moving around. But in
America here we reach to forty and everyone acts like
you can't do anything anymore. That's not a fact. Be
careful what you put in your body. Move your body
and love it the way you love them cars that

(01:00:53):
house them, clothes, them, shoes, love yourself them, brunches. Love
yourself the way you love those two real things.

Speaker 7 (01:01:01):
That's health, baby, Yolo, you only live ones same concept,
but the opposite.

Speaker 1 (01:01:07):
I get it. That is very true.

Speaker 8 (01:01:10):
Do your research, man, They trying to kill us out here,
so say yourself facts, Josh.

Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
Eisen, look the truth.

Speaker 5 (01:01:20):
Yeah. I was talking to my friend during my birthday weekend.
She came down from Cincinnati, and she was saying, how
we grew up as black women. We grew up not
really seeing black women like work out just for fun
and like take care of their bodies like black women
are had historically been just forced to hustle, to be stressed,
to like do what they have to do, not what

(01:01:40):
they want to do. And so it's really great that
we can have this space as black people to like
normalize especially black women, because men are like always into
sports and movement, but women are, you know, supposed to
be domesticating and shit. So seeing Caneen in the gym
and seeing her body transform and being on the fourth floor,
as she would say, it is very inspiring to be. Like, Okay,

(01:02:02):
once you turn forty on got to be you know,
whatever your body gives you, you can actually give back
to yourself at that age. So I worked out this morning.

Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
A last time, but.

Speaker 6 (01:02:20):
We'll try to do it again.

Speaker 4 (01:02:21):
Yeah, I think you should. Didn't you feel good though?

Speaker 3 (01:02:23):
After?

Speaker 5 (01:02:23):
Yeah, I've been working out. I've been backing in gym
for like two weeks.

Speaker 8 (01:02:26):
Good.

Speaker 5 (01:02:26):
My moment of truth is I feel skinnier already period period.
But yeah, it does feel really good. So we'll keep
it up. We'll check back with me in October.

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
All right, now, I just want to think pharmaceuticals, it
is not It is not a viable option to change
your lifestyle, if you know what I'm saying. If you're
relying on pharmaceuticals to change it, then you're going to
have longer term health issuesercussions.

Speaker 7 (01:02:55):
On the back end.

Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
Y Yeah, all right, y'all. If sorry, where are we
at in the script? All right, y'all, be sure to
find us on Patreon. Shout out to our Patreon gang.
We love y'all so much. You get to see the
after show, exclusive Ellis Family content and more ll Sever
after content, and of course you can find us on
social media. We have all the clips going up there

(01:03:18):
on our podcast page. Lli sever After on Instagram and TikTok.
I'm Kadin, I am, I.

Speaker 8 (01:03:23):
Am Devao, I'm Underscore Matt dot Ellis, and I'm Joshua
Underscore Dwayne.

Speaker 5 (01:03:28):
I'm at Tribs The Cool, tri ib b Z the
Cool on Everything.

Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to
rate with you and subscribe that asks y'all.

Speaker 5 (01:03:40):
Gott Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted
by Kadeen and deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video,
Production by Joshua, Dwayne and Matthew Ellis, video editing by
Lashan Rowe.

Speaker 7 (01:05:02):
Diff has

Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
Diff has Ha