Deferred Not Denied with Sakari Joseph

Sometimes you have to take the road less traveled to get to your dream. In this episode, Khadeen chats with her sister, Sakari, about her unconventional route to the nursing career of her dreams. Dead Ass.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Just because you take the road let's traveled, don't mean
it's the wrong road.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
And also listen to your big sister.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
Just because it took you a little bit longer doesn't
necessarily mean you failed.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Okay, now, baby dead ass.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.

Speaker 4 (00:21):
You may know us from posting funny videos with our.

Speaker 5 (00:23):
Voice and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Wait, I make you need therapy most days.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (00:31):
Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

Speaker 6 (00:34):
Yes, sir, we are.

Speaker 4 (00:35):
We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
li's most taboo topics.

Speaker 5 (00:39):
Things most folks don't want to talk about.

Speaker 6 (00:42):
Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
is a term that we say every day. So when
we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
We about to take philos off to our whole new level.

Speaker 5 (00:58):
Dead ass starts right now.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
All right, story time? See what I did? Was I
tell her the story time?

Speaker 1 (01:08):
I was going to tell the ahead of time. I
should have just shocked you with it. But this one
is a story that we tell fairly often when we
just reminisce with Sakaria and I say, we meeting de
Val and I we just reminisce about how far she's come.
For those of you who don't know, Sakari is ten
years younger than me. So in many ways, of course, yes,

(01:29):
I'm her older sister, but it's also giving daughters. I
raised her, it's giving My parents just placed her in
my care and here we are, right, so I will
never forget this. One particular night, I am in our
apartment in Brooklyn with Deval. We are asleep in bed
and then my phone rings and it's about two thirty

(01:50):
in the morning. So you know when your phone rings,
it like those hours of the morning. It's something's wrong,
somebody's dead, something happened, like you go into it's an
instant state of panic. Right, So my heart is like
pumping because I see Sakari is calling me at two
thirty in the morning, and I'm like, oh my god.
So I answer the phone and I'm like, hey, is
everything okay. All I hear on the other end of

(02:11):
the phone is I'm like, oh my god, Sakari, are
you okay? Zakari Zakari and Daval jumps up and he's like,
is everything okay, what's the matter. So I put her
on speakerphone and all we hear is sniffling and crying,
and I'm like, Sakari, where are you?

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Are you okay? It's two thirty in the morning. You're
making me nervous.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
And she's like, I have nothing. And we were like,
what what do you mean you have nothing? And she's like,
I have nothing.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
I have nothing. I didn't get into these schools. I
don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't know what
we're gonna tell mom.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
I have nothing, and she just starts bawling on the phone.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
So Deval and I are like, okay, at least she breathing.
At least she's safe, you know, nothing happened. And We're
like and at this point now I'm like, Sakari, like
get a hold of yourself, get it together.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
So like stern, mom kicks in and I'm like, get
it together. Not coming about that conversation.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
I said, get it together, stop crying. I said, You're
gonna be fine. But it's also two thirty in the morning, Like,
I'm gonna have to call you back as long as
I know you're okay, we can discuss this and we
can hash this out tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
So she's like, okay, and then she hangs up the phone.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
So I'm sitting there looking at the van, Devals looking
at me, and my heart is raising because of course
it's the adrenaline of the moment, like thinking something's wrong.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
And Devall's like, what the fuck is she talking about?
And that's a devil.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
I have no idea, I said, but she's gonna come
by tomorrow and we're gonna figure out what's going on.
So so said, so done. Sakari comes back over the
next day. I think you're Ri Tristan as well to
our brother. Yeah, so the four of us got to
sit and chat. At this point, you were how old?

Speaker 3 (04:00):
I was sixteen sixteen, almost seventeen seventeen.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
So right, so she was seventeen years old at the time,
and she pretty much you were confused about what you
were going to do with your life, where you were
gonna be, what was gonna happen. So Deval and I
took the time to just sit with her, calm her down,
and just devise a plan. Because one thing y'all know
about Dvalini and you know too, we're going to try
to devise a plan. So we're gonna we're gonna just

(04:28):
get Sakari's perspective of where her mind was when we
talk about this story time, being seventeen, feeling confused, not
knowing what she was going to do next in life,
that intimidating feeling of being you know what's next? Right, So, uh,
we're going to get into it after karaoke time.

Speaker 5 (04:48):
All right, karaoke time.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
I was so looking forward to this one because y'all know,
typically with karaoke time, I'll do something with Deval that
has to do with the show, or then sometimes we'll
just do whatever our favorite song is at the time. However,
to know us, meaning to know Tristan Sakari and I
Tristan is our brother, is to know that this is
our actual theme song like them. When this comes on,

(05:13):
it's an anthem like when, and it's been this way
for years now, I think since.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
The song came out. So you're ready for Sari, it's ready?
All right? Hey, Hey, parton my shup again?

Speaker 3 (05:25):
Hey, Hey, geal them babbling, Hey, Hey, bring all your
friend then, hey, hey, everybody drinking?

Speaker 2 (05:31):
Hey, Hey, who cares what they thinking? Hey, hey, bear vibes,
bear vibes, bear vies, bear vibes, beer vibes. Everybody's singing
what we don't have?

Speaker 7 (05:40):
No behavior? Don't tell this atta, don't cross the bata,
don't cross the bat with adas your pant poda. Everybody
time we go with lin, I told you we weren't
gonna know the words sweet.

Speaker 1 (05:59):
So every time we touched on his printice, Oh my gosh,
So y'all already know that's the vincy side coming through.
Shout out to h who sings that song again, Sew Marshall. Yeah,
So if you ever want to do like a remake
of the song, you want to update a music video,
listen me, trist And and Sakari, we would be front and

(06:21):
center with the finger on the head doing our dance
because if you know, you know, you know for sure,
all right, let's go ahead.

Speaker 5 (06:29):
And pay some bills.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
I'm gonna catch my breath, child, because I don't know singing.
I was dancing inside and everything. So we're gonna come
back and we're gonna get back into story time and
we're gonna talk with my sister about her journey to
where she is now, nurse practitioner, baby, stick around, Let's
go pay some bills. She might be able to help
me pay some bills too. Shit, nurse practition how much
y'all make? Now we'll talk about when.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
We get back.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
All right, So we're back, So let's go to story time.
What were you thinking in that moment? Because I know
Deval and I that caught a soft guard. I know
we had always said to you if you ever needed
help with anything. Of course it went without saying that
you should just not to thirty in the morning, but
just not to thirty in the morning.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
Cool.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
But you said you were seventeen at the time and
you felt like you were lost. And I'm sure there's
so many people probably listening or parents of kids who
were maybe about that age that can relate to how
you felt.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
Well for me, I think I got to go back
a little bit. I went to boarding school. I don't
think anybody knows that really about me. I went to
a boarding high school. It was predominantly white. I was
one of about six black kids in my graduating class.
I'm also a scholarship kid. I wasn't there with the
money that everybody else had, so applying to colleges. Now,

(07:46):
I applied to the good schools right all the Temples,
the Upenns, the Penn States, all of these things got in,
but didn't apply for financially because I had no idea
what fast forwards. I had no idea what I had
to do for that. So graduating college, I literally had nothing.
I had no school to go to, I had no plan.
I didn't even have Qunies and Sunnies in my bag,

(08:08):
which is like the state colleges of New York. I
had nothing. So I literally felt lost. And also, as
a seventeen year old, you don't know what your next
step is. I always knew I wanted to be a nurse.
I think that was always something that was really ingrained
in me. But I just didn't know where I was
going to go next. Like I know I needed to
go to school. I had no.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
School to go to. This was this is eighth August.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
School is starting very soon, and I had no plan
to go anywhere.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
So what made you wait until then to then jump
into panic mode and say I have nothing?

Speaker 2 (08:38):
Like what stopped you?

Speaker 1 (08:39):
Because I know Mom and Dad would have done everything
within their power to make sure that financially, whether it
was with a student loan or they had a plan,
like they.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
Would have made sure that you were okay.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
So what was the chain of events that got you
to that point where we were like, damn, oh my god,
I have nothing right now.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
I think I was mostly like on a high from graduating,
and I was a little embarrassed, you know what I mean,
like because I didn't have a plan. Like you go
to this prep school that sounds great, right, but you
come home and you just like literally have nothing to
show for it, because it's like, all right, I graduated now.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
But so it's funny.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
Deval and I are actually reclassing Jackson for the next
school year, which means we're going to be holding him
back a year to redo seventh grade. And the reason
for that is because of two things. When it comes
to sports for children. Seeing that Jackson's birthday falls at
the end of the school year or earlier in the
year like yours, the size of a child his age

(09:35):
in the beginning of the year versus the end of
the years at a disadvantage, right, So for the sports component,
we figured it made more sense to hold him back
so that way he physically can contend with kids that
are probably also going to be around his age you're
a little older. Then there's also the social component, right,
So you start school super early like you and I did,
three years old, and you graduate high school by seventeen,

(09:58):
college by twenty one or sixteen for some people, sixteen, seventeen,
twenty twenty one. So how much did you feel like
there was maybe an immaturity that you had at the
time that prevented you from like trying to figure things
out or even to ask the questions to get you
to that next phase.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
One hundred percent. That was exactly it.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
Like I felt like, you know, at seventeen, you feel
like you have you kind of are grown, but you're
not really grown. Oh, I think that that's what I
went through. I went away for school, so I was independent.
It's one thing I was. I would say, you can
always pretty take care of myself and that type of stuff,
but to like not have especially being the youngest two
of three kids that always had their shit together, and

(10:38):
it's like shit, I know, so we seemed.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
Well I did. I don't know about your brother, but yeah,
go ahead.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
But it was just it was really difficult to do
that and then even to know what you want to
do in life at seventeen, like nobody knows that, or
they think they do same, and then they go to
college and they fail out or they changed their major
four times because they have no idea.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
What's really going.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Absolutely that's what you remember I for my entire life,
or my entire childhood, I should say, I was like,
I want to be a pediatrician.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
I want to be a patrioary.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
So the minute college came for me, and I kind
of can relate to you in that moment. Of course,
at that time, if I'm going into college, you're only seven,
so you wouldn't have known. But that's the reason why
I was like, all right, at least I had Brooklyn
College to go to for a year to figure things out,
and it was really me buying time before I had
to tell mom and Dad like I really don't want to.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
Be a pediatrician anymore. I want to be on TV.
That's what I want to do. And imagine having that
conversation with them. So thank you to Satari.

Speaker 5 (11:31):
Shout out to my sister.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
Y'all for being the one out of three who decided
to actually follow in the nursing medical field.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
Fortress Tristan kinda did.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
He kind of put one toe in and he came
out out that's enough for me exactly.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
So it's interesting because I felt the same way.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
I kind of felt like, damn, I'm in this space
where I'm not really sure what I want to do.
But I think we're always fed this high school, four
year college. When you're done with that four year college,
decide if you want to go for your masters or
some people are medical school, you know, some go down
to law school. Yep. What I want you to talk
about and encourage people about today is the unconventional route

(12:11):
that you took to become a nurse, because so many
times were fed that American dream story of this is
how you're supposed to do things in order to make
it work. But I don't think many people know, particularly
in the nursing field, that there's many different avenues that
you can take to get there. So now that we
have the conversation with you, after you know, trying to
figure out what was next, so having nothing, went.

Speaker 3 (12:33):
To went to you taking me to Brooklyn College about
the next day and we enrolled. And I enrolled pre
med right as a seventeen year old.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
Right, definitely, I went through about three semesters at Brooklyn College.
It was fun time I was back home. Jackson was
just born, so you know, it was fun. Failed chemistry miserably.
That same semester. I also overslept from my biology final.
It was just a really bad I knew that.

Speaker 2 (13:05):
Did I know? You over I told you, am lab bro,
why would you sign up to that?

Speaker 3 (13:13):
I was late in the semester. I had to take
what I could get all the courses regard exactly. So yeah,
that was not a good part of my life. So
this was semester three, right. I then I'm like, okay,
I can't go into this next. I'm not I'm not
doing this. My head is not in the game. I
don't want to waste my parents' money. So I remember

(13:35):
having a conversation with mom in the room and I
pretty much broke down.

Speaker 2 (13:38):
Was like, I'm feeling I am failing. I have nothing
to I'm failing. Yeah, Well, the crier of the bunch.
If anyone didn't know, Zakari definitely is a crier.

Speaker 1 (13:49):
So for those who don't know, my mom was an
RN for years, over forty plus years, working in so
many different facets and nursing so She went from like
bedside to long term care, home care. She has been
all over the nursing field, so she did have a
resource in mom, but there was also like that.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
Fear of coming clean to mom about where you are.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
You're like actual fear fear those of you who have
Jamaican mothers, you know, the fear when it.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
Comes to your book, when it come to your book.
Damn all right? Good?

Speaker 3 (14:19):
So I told Mom and she was just kind of like, Okay,
maybe pre med is not for you. And I'm like, oh,
maybe it's not glad if somebody else said it, because
it's really not for me. She said, why don't you
do LPN And I was like, what is that? You know,
you think about r N and you think about that,

(14:39):
go to a four year college, you finish your four
year college, then you graduate, you work as an aren't
And that was kind of like what you think nursing
should be, m h. And she was like, no, you
can go to LPN school. I have a colleague who
she went to nursing school with who opened to LPN
school in Jersey. Tristan at the time also had stopped
going to his college and was home and had nothing.

(15:00):
It had nothing as well. So the two of us
decided to do it together. So five days out the
week we would drive to Jersey together every morning. Study
for about a year and a half, graduated as an LPN,
started working as an LPN in a nursing home and
at this time, I'm like nineteen, but I'm working in
a nursing home as an LPN. I did that for

(15:23):
about about like I don't even know how many years.
I think about like four years, and then I was like,
all right, this, I'm very limited in my LPN.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
So, for those who don't know, an LPN is a
license practical nurse practical nurse.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
So the scope of work for an LPM is very
different than like a CNA or RN.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
So it's yes levels to it. So a CNA is
more like a patient text so they take care of
all the vital signs, all the daily living things, so
brushing teeth, getting them dressed, changing them, that type of stuff.
So that was a little up from there. But LPNs
we administer medications. We don't start ivs, but we pretty
much are the nurse that ran the floor. We can

(16:06):
run the nursing home like that's it. In order to
be in a hospital. You have to be an urn,
you have to be an RN, and that's ultimately where
I saw myself.

Speaker 2 (16:14):
So I was that was gonna be my next question
to you.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
So once you were in the nursing home and you
were in the field, did you at least feel like, Okay,
I'm coming into my own like this is the path
that I'm going to potentially stay on, because you were
still kind of I think at this point before getting
the LPN on the fence about where you were going
to go, I was.

Speaker 3 (16:31):
On the tense about nursing in general. To be honest,
like I always as a nurturer, that's always been my
nature to take care of people. But being an LPN,
I was like, oh, this is my calling. Like I
love people, I love talking to people, I love making
people feel better. I love finding solutions for things. So
I was like, this is it for me?

Speaker 2 (16:48):
Okay, good Tristan.

Speaker 3 (16:50):
She didn't feel like it was it, Which is with
the beauty of nursing, right, you have so many different
avenues that you can go into. M So after the
four years of an ELP, I also had no student debt.
I was working independently making my own money at my
own insurance, Like I felt like a sense of independence.

Speaker 2 (17:08):
I had got my own car.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
So this is from nineteen to about twenty three, around
twenty four years of.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
Working as an LPN.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
So that goes to show that there are options for
people who want to simultaneously work but then also put
themselves through school and doing things step by step versus
completely committing to a four year program and then having
to and crewe a ton of debt because of how
expensive schools is. Schooling is in a four year program,
so this is kind of almost like breaking up and

(17:36):
getting your experience on the job as you go.

Speaker 3 (17:39):
As it goes back to my sound bite, just because
it took a little bit longer, you failed, it took
me a little bit longer. But I think also that
helped me as a nurse. That helped me build a
rapport with patients. That are to learn to be comfortable
to talking to patients, talking to family members, talking to providers.
Those are something that you have to build confidence. I
know so many nurses who graduate from four year programs

(17:59):
and have no bedside manner.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
And they are so robots.

Speaker 3 (18:03):
Yeah, they go straight into their masters and their robots
and a lot of what we do as nurses is
patient care. We have to build a report, let them
trust us, you know, I mean educate them.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
I think the benefit that you had also to doing
it this way is because as you were learning, and
as you were learning on the job, as you were
working and you were advancing in your career, you're also
growing as a person.

Speaker 5 (18:24):
Think about it.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
In society, we are telling children essentially, although at seventeen
and eighteen, we still feel like we've grown because we've
all been there that I felt like we were grown
at eighteen too. But you're essentially asking young men and
women to decide on what it is they want to do,
who it is they want to be, what their passion
is for the rest of their life at the age

(18:47):
of fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, as they approach college. And that's
why I'm sure if we probably looked at the stats,
so many people go into their for year colleges and
you have to ask them ten, fifteen, twenty years there
are you still even working in that field. But even
more importantly for someone like you in the nursing field,
you just gain life experience. You gain life experience, you

(19:07):
mature on different levels by seeing things I'm sure that
you don't take life for granted anymore from seeing things
like death. How did that impact you when you first,
you know, worked in the nursing home. You're working in
the geriatric space, So how hard was that when you
experienced like maybe your first death with your.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
First so patient.

Speaker 3 (19:25):
It's so funny though it was a little bit of
bullying my first shift as an LPN.

Speaker 2 (19:32):
I was being trained. In the beginning.

Speaker 3 (19:35):
What they taught me to do was go around and
take vital signs on all the patients. So I'm like, okay,
going into the room, not introduce myself, and I go
to this patient and the patient's dead and they knew
he was dead? What And they made me take his
vital signs? So that was my first you get jumped
into the nursing field. What that was my first and

(19:56):
they thought it was hilarious and that was scarred. So
that was my first interaction with the dead patient.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
Wow. Yeah, But when you went in, what did you
say like, hey?

Speaker 3 (20:05):
How like yeah, but you say, Hi, I'm Sacchari, I'm
going to be your nurse for today. I'm gonna take
your by the signs and you go to touch the
patient he's cold, and you're like, oh, okay, so he'd
been shift left that for us, that's the nursing thing.
You know, we have a little bit, you guys, a
little a little oh, this is the shifting. You know,
somebody feels like one it's more lazy than the other.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
But I won't go into that. I know, I know,
that's a different talk, it's a different topic. So so great.
So four years I'm doing the LPN work at the
nursing home. You feel confident enough now to say, you
know what, I'm ready to progress onto the next phase.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
So what was the next phase for you?

Speaker 3 (20:41):
The next phase was an LPN to r N program. Okay,
so what was that? That was like an accelerated program.
I had to drive all the way to Harlem twice
a week and get all this is done. That was
probably the most intense part of this whole nursing process
for me. Both not masters with hard but this was
probably the most intense process because it's a lot of learning.
Like the scope of practice for a LPN and an

(21:03):
RN are totally different. And that's what I had to
learn to stop thinking about me being an LPN and
I have to think about nursing now in an RN's mindset.

Speaker 2 (21:12):
So leveling up in a say exactly, and not thinking
about what I've been doing. You know, you've already been practicing, gotcha.
And that program was how many years?

Speaker 1 (21:20):
That one was about a year and a half, a
year and a halcause it was an accelerated program. Oh
accelerated too, Okay, so a year and a half for
LPN school a year and a half. So we're a
total of three years now to become an RN.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
Yes, so now I'm an RN with an associates serree. Okay.

Speaker 3 (21:34):
So the thing with that is hospitals don't want associate series.
Hospitals want bachelor's gotcha. So I'm still at the nursing
home at this point. I did get the opportunity to
be a supervisor, so I was a supervisor for the
three tail eleven shift, and then I also progressed to
being the associate director of nursing.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
Oh wow, and I was twenty four. I forgot about that. Yes,
yes you were.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
So those are like major accolades that you're accumulating in
a short period of time. But I guess proving yourself
that you're worthy and capable of having that kind of responsibility.
It was just a matter of having the degree title
that can propel you into other opportunities exactly.

Speaker 3 (22:12):
And that also made me realize that management wasn't for me.
It made me realize my mom was in management for years,
and I felt so much like her that I was like, Oh,
I'm exhausted. This is not for me. This is all paperwork.
I'm not talking to patients, this is not it. So
you weren't being able to care for people exactly. So
that pushed me to go on for my bachelor's right

(22:32):
covid hit, I was working in the nursing home and
also online school at MEDGA evers. From my associates to bachelors,
that was another year and a half online school. We
were trying to figure that out. It kind of was
an easier way because they didn't know what.

Speaker 2 (22:48):
They were doing. We didn't know what we were doing,
and we just kind of like that path. That was
a learning curve. Everybody it was everybody in school.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
Yeah, it was awful. So I finished Medica evers. So
I graduated with my bachelor's. While I was in school,
I'm about my last semester, I started applying, so I'm
like oh, I need this COVID money. Do I see
the COVID money coming in?

Speaker 2 (23:05):
Then apply.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
I ended up getting a call back from Mount Sinai
Emergency Department.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
Bruh Emergency Department during during COVID. So that just so
you went from being in the nursing home to essentially
being catapulted into the emergency room during COVID.

Speaker 3 (23:21):
The largest emergency department in New York. If you talk
about getting jumped into.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
Anywhere, I take the cold dead body in the nursing.

Speaker 1 (23:29):
Home over getting thrown into COVID in the emergency room.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
That's insanity. It was.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
That's why you were so stressed. Yeah, it was a lot,
but I learned a whole bunch, right. I was there
for about two and a half years. And then during
this time, you had some kids, right you had h.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
I had a couple of kids.

Speaker 3 (23:46):
I had a couple of kids from that time period.
But I think the most impactful berths of yours were
Kaz as well as Dakotas.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
So those who don't know, Sakari was alongside me when
I did my home births, which was the story a
ton of times on different platforms with you guys about
having the home birth, and I made the switch from
hospital to home and a midwife care versus an obgui
n care with my births pregnancies. Really for Kaz and Dakota, yep,

(24:16):
so Zakari was alongside my midwife through majority of the process,
because Sakari was really at that point teetering on what
area of nursing you wanted to specialize in?

Speaker 2 (24:26):
Correct, So what was the what was that like for you?

Speaker 1 (24:29):
I guess being in the space because you know, of
course there's the sentimental attachment me being your sister, but
thinking with a nurse's hat on in that moment alongside
someone who's a seasoned midwife.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
What did that?

Speaker 1 (24:41):
What did that spark in you that made you feel like,
you know what, maybe I want to alter my course
of studies.

Speaker 3 (24:49):
So I always knew at that point I wanted to
be a nurse pectitioner, right. I just there's different routes
in their spectitioner. There's psych, there is family, there is
adult care and this woman's and I just didn't know
much about the women's health part of it. But I'm like,
I've experienced these births with my sister. I've had extensive
conversations with Taki or her midwife, and she's explained to

(25:10):
me what she does and the group that she cares for,
and I was just kind of enamored that this can
just be your main focus. And you know, at that point,
we're also hearing about so many things that are happening
in just women's health, like misdiagnosis, also like birthing stories
that just go wrong because they're not being heard or

(25:31):
not being educated either. So like this honestly made me like, Okay,
women's health is it? But I think it was Dakota's birth.
I think I tell Takia this. Actually recently, she was
explaining to me her job as a midwife, and I
was just like, oh, you're on call twenty four to seven.
You don't have a life. Yeah, you can't really schedule holidays,

(25:51):
you can't schedule vacations.

Speaker 2 (25:54):
That's not the life of right, No, because you know
we'd be outside, we outside. Just so y'all are clear.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
You know, I say, car don't have had tan right now,
so don't don't hold it against her. Her tan faded
a little bit from Jamaica. I re up when I
went to Saint Vincent. It's just giving her thirtieth birthday,
which is approaching. We're gonna be outside on somebody beach
buns out.

Speaker 3 (26:11):
But to Kia straight up asked me, what do you
want your quality of life to be like? And I
was like, what do you mean? I was like, I
want a family, I want to be able to clock out,
go home. I want to enjoy what I do. I
want to educate patients. I want to be have that
rapport with patients that like, don't like that's my girl,
Like I really like, that's my doctor mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
And she was just like, I don't think midwill freeze
for you. Wow. And it was like I don't think
it is either, yeah, Like thank you so much for
opening my eyes to that.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
And then I was like, okay, it's women's health.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:43):
And at the same time I decided that I was
going into women's health. I also got a job as.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
A fertility nurse uh huh at a fertility sense Yes,
So that was exciting for me when I heard that
this was a route you were going, because we know
people personally who have been struggling with the process of
pregnancy becoming parents who are just so desperate too and
would make amazing parents, but just need a little bit
of help and assistance.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
And I know there's also kind of like a stigma.

Speaker 1 (27:11):
Around the fertility field and debate on like, you know,
is it right? Is this what's God's plans? What God's
plan was for you? Like how do you balance faith
in medicine? So leaving the er, which was again a
very stressful situation for you, but you learned a lot.
You got thrown in, so you got to see a
little bit of everything. And then now you said, okay,

(27:32):
women's health, Oh, fertility nurse, what does your job encompass
at your current place of work?

Speaker 3 (27:39):
Okay, So as a fertility nurse, I work at a
fertility clinic. I work in like a team with a
doctor and a care coordinator, and we have our own
patients that we see. I pretty much am introduced to
the patient after they've spoken with the doctor. They have
a plan of care, whether it be egg freezing, actual iva,
there's surrogates. We have so many differ and aspects of

(28:00):
how you can get pregnant insemination cycles. So I'm the
one that pretty much educates them on what the cycle
is going to look like, the communication that we're gonna
have with you when you get your results, and it
just made me like, now I understand the period like
the back of my hand, like you know what I mean,
Like now I'm like that really just was like, Okay,
women's health is.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
Sakari like looks at people sometimes she's like she might
have be s pcos she might have this, she might
have that, or I've totally this is gonna be so TMI.
I am apologizing to y'all in advance, but I send
Sakari photos of things.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
You're not the only one either.

Speaker 1 (28:34):
Sometimes like that. That's just what happens when you become
like the nurse and the family and you get all
the questions, you get all the photos, all the take
a look at this?

Speaker 2 (28:42):
Should this feel like that? Like Zakari's literally been that
for everybody. But it's helpful, it's helpful for sure.

Speaker 1 (28:49):
How do you, or I guess where you work now,
kind of dispel the myths and the stigmas around just
women's health in general, because as we know right now,
the women's body is under attack, just with the government
in general and the autonomy that they're trying to take
away from us. So how do you in the space
that you're in alongside your colleagues kind of ensure that

(29:11):
women's health is protected as much as possible according to
how you guys work well.

Speaker 3 (29:16):
I think for that is also making sure that the
women feel like it's a safe space to talk, you
know what I mean, and having that rapport with them,
because I feel like what happens a lot in women's
health is that people don't feel heard or they don't
feel validated, they don't feel like their feelings make sense.
And you really have to take a step back and
be like these people all they want to do is
be mothers.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
That's all they want to do.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
And we really even though you go through the cycle
of like, oh my god, I have fifty patients to
email today and it just gets like redundant, you have
to really feel like they're urgently wanting this, and every
cycle they go through and they get their period, they
are upset, their whole world is ending. They're paying thousands
upon thousands of dollars. So I think the most important
part for me is maybe if I don't email them today,

(29:58):
let me give them a call, let me just talk
to them.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
You know, see how.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
They're doing that humane like human connection to and it's
not just business exactly.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
It's not just like email after email after email after email.
So I think that that women's health in general, that's
like the main part of it. People just want to
be heard, they want to feel educated, they want to
know that their provider is actually caring for them as
a person, and I think that that's something that I
want to especially bring into my practice. It's like we're
just girls, Like I can just sit like this and
have a conversation with you.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
Yes, business.

Speaker 3 (30:29):
Cervix and everything, but after that we can just sit
as girls. Like you can talk to me and I
can educate you, and then you can educate other people.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
That level of comfort I think is very necessary, and
I think that's what people look for when they're looking
for again the bedside manner that's attached to wherever they
choose to receive any kind of medical care, regardless of intimate.

Speaker 3 (30:50):
Like you know, there's such an intimate part, like people
are so scared, Like I've seen patients that are like shaking,
not giving me eye contact, and that's when I know
I'm not going to do the path right now.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
Let me just sit and talk.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
Right It's just one of your wildest stories that you've
like throughout your nursing journeys and like a crazy story,
and it could be something fertility related, it could be
something like just in the er, was there any like
wild story that made you think, oh my god, I
might have chosen the wrong field or oh my god,
this was so insane.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
That I love it here and I can't wait to
see more of this. And of course you don't have
to give names of stuff because hip and percent.

Speaker 3 (31:27):
Yeah, I think I guess one of my most traumatic
things was in the nursing home. Actually, oh yeah, hm,
it was. I was working by myself on day shift,
which is the most busiest shift. I have forty patients,
three CNAs, which is usually about five, okay, and we
had to get through it, and I remember I went

(31:48):
into the bedroom and I just started bawling. I started bawling.
I was like, this is not fair. I was like,
how are they doing this to me? I had to
do forty med passes, treatments everything from seven to three
and get them up, make sure they had breakfast, make
sure they had dinner, talk like it was so much
different things. And I remember the oncoming nurse came in
never met her day in my life, went up to her,

(32:09):
gave for a hug.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
Thank you so much for coming in today was the
littlest seventy three ever.

Speaker 3 (32:16):
I was like, I did not think I would make it.
I did not think I would make it. So I
think that even though my experience in as an LPN,
I feel like was the most impactful in my nursing career.
It brought me so much resilience. It made me resilient,
you know what I mean, I can handle anything. To
r was a breeze, to be honest, because I can
handle forty patients and just me like, okay, I have

(32:37):
ten patients.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
That's absolutely and especially to knowing being in the field,
like the deficit that sometimes they're was like getting staff
on and having people working and you know, retention of the.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
Worket and management right.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
And then also having so many options in nursing, do
you feel like there's a lot of turnover sometimes like
people are just like, oh, I don't have to stay here,
I can go somewhere else so I can do something else.

Speaker 3 (32:56):
A culture, now, I think is that I think that
I was raised in the mind like Mom, you stay
in one job, You're loyal to this job. You know,
have you build your pension, you do all these type
of things. Yeah, and I think now the culture is different.
Mental health is so much more important. No, physical health
is important. If it's not serving you, you don't need
to be there. So I feel like that's why the

(33:16):
turnover is more crazy now, right, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (33:18):
Also, people are going where the money goes.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
True, people are not just staying there because they want
to be loyal, because at the end of the day,
they're not going to be loyal for you.

Speaker 1 (33:26):
I was happy to see a you're graduating class. So
Sakari just graduated like two weeks ago with her master's
in nursing.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
Insert the round of applause button. I'm so proud of you.

Speaker 1 (33:36):
I'm so proud to have witnessed your commitment, your dedication.
I don't know how you actually do it because you
are essentially working full time, you're also doing clinicals, you're
in school full time, and then you're still finding ways
to be present for me, my family, the entire family
where you don't miss a beat. So my hat's off

(33:57):
to you, insists, then you give your flowers now, because.

Speaker 5 (33:59):
I don't know how you do it.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
But you do it so well, and you do it
so gracefully and with such poise. And I was happy
to be at your graduation and just see the diversity
amongst the graduating class, because from what we know and
understand that there is, particularly in women's health or just
within that scope of work, there is a deficit of
representation of black and brown nurses who are in the

(34:26):
obgyn clinics, who are in the women's health field, who
are in the fertility clinics. And as we know, if
we go into some facts and SAT's real quick just
to kind of let everyone know and bring into perspective
that black women are more likely than any other race
to die from I think it's like three or four
times more likely than their white counterparts during childbirth or after.

(34:48):
So I was happy to see the diversity in the
graduating class.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
Though may everyone may not have been women's health.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
But how do you feel like just you being a face,
a familiar face, meaning a black and brown woman in
that space, what do you look forward to being able
to provide to your patients whenever you're in your new
work setting, whatever that looks like.

Speaker 3 (35:09):
Well, I think working as in my clinicals, I was
working with a black provider as well, young female provider,
And I think that going into those rooms and like
we've had comments of patients being like like a deep breath, like,
oh my god, I'm going to be heard today, to
be believed today, you know what I mean, I'm not
going to be rushed through my visit. I think that,

(35:30):
and also just bringing facts to the light, like vitamin
D helping with fibroids, because it's more common in black
people for us to have a vitamin D deficiency. That's
why fibroids are more common amongst the black community. So
maybe having some supplementation for that, But like as a
Black woman, you seek out more holistic ways or just

(35:52):
like in general treatments for our race because we feel
like we're not heard, not saying that we're not going
to give care, excellent care to everyone. Right, It's not
explored enough in terms of Black women. Yeah, So I
think that at least me having that insight is more
so like I'm gonna listen to them more. I'm gonna
make sure those warning signs are more prevalent, especially for
like preeclampsia and stuff like that. Like our warning signs

(36:14):
are a little bit different breast cancer, doing breast exams,
teaching age patient to do those breast exams because it
can be prevented or it can be treated.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
Early early early decission.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:24):
Yeah, that's the main thing that I want to like
help man.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
Listen.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
When Sakari left me after I had Dakota, so my
midwife was here for a week after. Sakaria was also
here for a week after, and you guys departed like
maybe a day or two apart. And it was literally
on that like ninth day that I had an excruciating headache.
My hands and feet were swollen, and I'm just attributing
it to lack of sleep, just had a baby up
at night nursing great. And I remember my midwife calling

(36:52):
to check on me that day and I told her.
I was like, oh, I have this like massive headache.
I just need to kind of sleep it off. And
she's like, ye, I don't.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
Think we're going to do that. What's your blood pressure?

Speaker 1 (37:00):
So I'm like, I don't know what my blood pressure is.
So Mom gets the electric cuff, puts it on. It
was like one ninety eight over like one hundred and something,
and my mom was like, oh, this is wrong. Like,
you know, mom looks at my dad and she's like,
where did she get this blood pressure?

Speaker 2 (37:12):
Comes? Something's wrong with it. Let me go get the
manual one.

Speaker 1 (37:15):
So she takes my blood pressure and it's legitimately one
ninety something over like one oh eight. And Tekia was like,
I think you need to go to the emergency room.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
Just nice and caution.

Speaker 3 (37:25):
I was just about to say that her bedside better
is super caught.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
That's her voice every time. So card, we're not going
to panic.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
We're not going to panic. But I think you should
go to the emergency room. And I'm like, girl, I
had this new born baby here. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not going to leave him and go to the
emergency for what. So I called Sakari because I'm like,
I have to forget that. Of course the family nurse co
sign and Sakari is like, Takia is never adamant about
you doing anything really, so if she's adamant about you

(37:52):
going to the er, go to the R. I was
like a damn So I said, Takia said it.

Speaker 2 (37:59):
Sakari co signed it. I said, I gotta go to
the er, and.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
That that relationship that access that you guys foreseeing what
was happening to me when I didn't even think it
was anything. I'm writing it off as you know, exhaustion
and lack of sleep, and literally saved my life. When
I got to the emergency room and they took my

(38:22):
blood pressure it was one ninety seven over one twelve,
and they in damn their close to a seizure and
they instantly grabbed me. And it's like you know the
scene in a movie where everyone starts moving fast and
they're not really saying much to you, but then you
do have the one nurse that's just like, everything's gonna

(38:43):
be fine.

Speaker 2 (38:43):
I'm like, the hell, yeah, it's gonna be fine. What
you mean?

Speaker 1 (38:46):
I got my husband sitting out there, my newborn baby nine.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
Days all at home, and his three brothers.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
Everything has to be fine, sis, And they just jumped
into action and got into magnesium and was in the
hospital for three consecutive days after having a completely sexual,
sex festful home birth. So I say that to say
it's so helpful when you have people you can lean on,
or if you have that relationship with your provider. And
I'm just excited for you to be that person because
I know who you are as a human being. I

(39:12):
know who you are as a sister, Sade, our kind
of daughter.

Speaker 5 (39:17):
You're like the one daughter where you.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
Never had I never will and just the way you
are as an aunt and as a person. Just I'm
excited for your future patients to really get to experience
you because I know how much this feel and this
course of work means to you. Your heart is so huge,
your heart is in it. You're a nurturer by nature,
So I'm just super proud of you. Again, I want

(39:39):
to give my sister her flowers, say the first time
she's on a day with k And we have literally
so many things that Zakari and I can like talk about,
but I wanted to bring light to this topic right
now just because of the state of the country. You know,
elections are coming up, you just graduating women's health in

(39:59):
gener role of our reproductive health and the reproductive system
in which we're existing in just being under fire. So
I feel like it was timely for us to talk
about this here. When as we close out this particular
portion of the conversation, what do you encourage any woman
going into.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
Well, I guess it's maybe two part.

Speaker 1 (40:21):
First off, anyone that is going to look for a
provider in women's health. What are some things that you
think women should look for when they're trying to find
a place to.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
Coexist with a doctor to receive that care.

Speaker 3 (40:37):
Honestly, I am biased, but I think that nurse practitioners
are way better than doctors. Okay, reason being, we have
bedside manner, we know how to talk to people, we
know how to educate people, we have a different decorum.
Like you know, we actually take the time to speak
to our patients. Not saying that every OBGI in doesn't,

(40:57):
but I just feel like sometimes people are caught up
on a doctor and having that name associated with it,
and they just don't trust nurse practitioners that we don't know.
But I think it's the total opposite. We have so
much more insight, We have so much more actual experience
that can attribute to all the things that we can
tell you or treat you with, or you know what

(41:18):
I mean. They might give you the holistic route rather
than the doctor giving you the pills, you know what
I mean. Like it just I think that I would
implore you to do your research on not only providers
meaning doctors, but also nurse practitioners.

Speaker 2 (41:30):
NBAS.

Speaker 5 (41:30):
That's good.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
That's good because I definitely when I was pregnant with Jackson,
I remember leaving a particular doctor. It was actually a
male obgyn, and I kept seeing the nurse practitioner instead
of him, and I was just like, why did I
feel like I just kept getting pushed off? She actually
ended up being really sweet, but also too, I never
went through his care because I also felt like he
was kind of dismissive and didn't have bedside manner where

(41:52):
she did.

Speaker 2 (41:53):
So interesting and just that they go.

Speaker 3 (41:55):
To school for what eight plus years and then are
jumped into bedside right versus an where we've been bedside
for so long.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
And with your journey, you worked in school kind of simultaneously,
so it's interesting to see how you kind of wove
in experience learning together while you were on your course.
So it took you a total of how many years?
I think that from nineteen from nineteen to twenty nine
to twenty nine, so years, ten years that you just
slowly built it up. You have no debt, I have

(42:22):
no debt, she has no debt. So for the person
who is looking for that route, particularly a nursing or
maybe in another field, what is your encouragement if they're
trying to decide. You know what, I don't really have
the funds to do it now, but I want.

Speaker 2 (42:36):
To get started. I need to at least start.

Speaker 1 (42:38):
I think that was what was the positive part with
you is that you started it started. So what would
be your advice moving forward for anyone who's like looking
to do a similar journey to you?

Speaker 3 (42:48):
So I think for me, LPN was the best route
for me, meaning I was okay with working in a
nursing home. And I think that that's what you also
have to realize for yourself. Maybe start doing some volunteer work.
Maybe work as medical assistant. It's a little bit shorter program.
Maybe work as a CNA. It might suck for a
little bit, but at least you can get experience in
the route and see like, Okay, I see what the
nurse does ten day to day. I can do that,

(43:10):
you know what I mean? I would say, get your
toe wet before you jump right into a four year
program and then end up payting it and wasting money,
wasting time, you know what I mean? And it's mostly money.
Everything's expensive. LPN is a shorter route, it's a little
bit less money. It's a one time thing and you
can start making money. There are LPNs that are working
in hospitals. You just really have to find it, okay.

(43:31):
I think also building a rapport with your peers is
a big thing because a lot of like the jobs
that I've gotten or word of mouth and referrals. So
I think that that's also something like never just kind
of be to yourself, talk to people, talk to people
in the field. I have people who were in my
DMS just asking me questions and I'm like, yeah, this
is how I did. It not necessarily work for everybody,

(43:53):
but it's a way for you to at least get
your foot in the door. Also, as LPNs, you don't
have to work bashit, beds it.

Speaker 2 (44:01):
I'm sorry. You can work in the office. Like Kristin.

Speaker 3 (44:04):
My brother is an LPN. We graduated together. He's working
as a director of admissions in a nursing home.

Speaker 5 (44:09):
Right, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (44:09):
Like, you talk so many avenue.

Speaker 3 (44:11):
So many As long as you just get your foot
in the door, you can go anywhere.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
If you're putting the door, yah, you can knock it
down do like my sister did.

Speaker 5 (44:18):
And I'm so proud of you. Zakari, I love you.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
I can't wait to see the waves and the splash
that you're going to make in your field. I'm excited
for your future parents who are going to get to
not parents, your future patients who are going to get
to experience you and your care. What's next?

Speaker 3 (44:35):
Well, thirty is next month. We're knocking on thirty stor
in terms of NEXTX. That's what I'm truly trying to
figure out.

Speaker 7 (44:43):
Now.

Speaker 3 (44:43):
Do I want to stay in fertility? Do I want
to work in gu yn? You know, just trying to
figure that out. Be a newly single also, just trying
to figure out myself. I feel like myself get back
into the group of things and like go into thirty
with the bank.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
Right, Yeah, saw how she slid that in their newly single,
go into their That's a topic for a whole Another's
Day A Day with k featuring Sakari Part two standby
but I love you.

Speaker 5 (45:09):
Let's go take a quick late break. We're gonna pay
some bills.

Speaker 1 (45:12):
Hopefully you can stick around real quick so we can
talk to the folks. They write in with listener letters,
so we have a quick one to go through to
see if we can give someone some advice.

Speaker 5 (45:20):
All right, So Sakari and now we're gonna give our
two sins. He's going to be four to and Sue four.

Speaker 2 (45:24):
We'll be back.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
All right, We're back into what Devout always says is
my favorite part, because i'd like to get in people's
business show. So today I brought my sister because usually
if you're tell me something she knows too, just put
it out there.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
You know how to say.

Speaker 5 (45:48):
It's gonna end up in the group chat.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
So here's a listening letter for today.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
I'm going to start by saying I appreciate both of
you guys for deciding to share a bit of your life.
I've been following you guys since my first year of
high school when DeVoe went viral for getting the kids
together when Kay was at work. I loved the booking podcasts,
and I went to the Philly show when the New
York one was sold out and had a blast. Oh gosh,
you traveled for us on behalf of Devalini.

Speaker 2 (46:11):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (46:12):
All right, so you know that it oh she said,
you know that means I'm from New York, Long Island
to be exact, shout out to New York.

Speaker 2 (46:20):
I've never been more proud of people. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (46:22):
Keep doing what you guys are doing because it's gotten
me through some tough mental battles.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
We got you this. Thank you for that, all right,
So we're going to get to the story now.

Speaker 1 (46:30):
Back in twenty nineteen, I want a way to Clark
Atlanta University for broadcast journalism. I know we have great
schools in New York, but I really wanted to get
away from my hometown. I just knew that I was
going to be the next best thing on Channel seven
Eyewitness News. Girls.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
That was literally me.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
That was literally me going to half strad after I
dropped the bomb that I was not going to be
a nurse or pediatrician. I excelled in my program fast,
came into a lot of different opportunities, met some great
mentors along the way, and went from joining the televisions
station my first semester to overseeing it the second semester.
I really felt like I was living my purpose. Then
the pandemic happened and I was set back home. I

(47:10):
felt like I lost everything during the pandemic. I started
a podcast, kept up with my YouTube page, doing interviews,
kept trying to sharpen my skills with Adobe and trying
to get involved with anything that could allow me to film,
interview or just whatever I can get my hands on.
With a global pandemic going on, since we were in quarantine,
that meant I was no longer around people who shared
the same passion as I did, so I lost mine.

(47:33):
I reverted back to working regular jobs just to pay
bills and having something to do.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
For a while.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
I stayed in that space. I got a job with
the MTA in twenty twenty two. My whole family was
so happy for me and told me that I was
lucky to get this opportunity, that I should hold onto
this job because it's a great job to retire from.
I'll never miss a paycheck, I'll have insurance, and I
won't be young forever, so I need to figure it
out now. I didn't want to disappoint them, so I

(47:58):
took the job. Three months did this job, I started
developing anxiety. My anxiety turned into depression, and eight months in,
I was crying myself to sleep every night, asking God
why he took all of my opportunities away and if
this was all I had to look forward to in life.

Speaker 2 (48:13):
Oh after a.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
While, so After a while, I started therapy. I finally
took control of my situation and finished my associate's degree.
I quit the MTA after a year and a half
to pivot started school for ultrasound. I made a plan
to put myself back in school for broadcast journalism and

(48:35):
work towards becoming a voice actor after I graduated snography school.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
I love that she has plans though she not move in,
which is great. Which is great.

Speaker 1 (48:43):
You guys always talk about time and capital. Yes, I
was just about to say that, so I picked.

Speaker 2 (48:47):
You really be listening.

Speaker 1 (48:50):
So I picked up a backup career that would give
me both. I tried to adopt the idea that delay
does not mean denied and that it's okay to take
a different route to get to my dream.

Speaker 2 (49:01):
Did Triple know what.

Speaker 5 (49:01):
We were talking about today?

Speaker 2 (49:02):
Because we're talking about different routes? This is great?

Speaker 1 (49:06):
Any life financial advice for a twenty five year old
girl who still lives at home, rent and kid free,
thank god, and feels like yeah, and feels like she
knows what she wants but has to take another route
to get there, while also feeling like I have.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
To play ketchup because I wasted so much time.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
Side note, I'm the first girl in my family to
graduate and to go to college and graduate. I don't
want you guys to think that I've been lazy for
the past couple of years.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
I did not gather that.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
I just didn't know how to move forward, especially when
everyone in my family has practical jobs and always played
it safe.

Speaker 2 (49:40):
That's us too.

Speaker 5 (49:41):
I'm sorry this letter was so long.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
Sincerely, a girl who won't be on her parents' insurance
much longer.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
I sup wish I could.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
Meet you and get your hug because this is such
a candid story and what I want to see is
this A couple of things that came to mind here.
First off, Zakari hearing her story, knowing about the different
route and you know, taking your time and working through
things to get to your passion. What can you say
to her? Anything specific to repeat my sound bite?

Speaker 2 (50:10):
Pretty much? Pretty much the episode comes full circle.

Speaker 3 (50:13):
You know what I'm saying, honestly, and I get the
part of her story I get is feeling like you're
not doing enough or you wasted time because I felt
that way. I went through three semesters and felt like
I waste time and money. But it's like, just because
it took longer, it doesn't mean you failed, like legit like,
it doesn't because you have a plan, you see, like
you have a backup plan as well. So you are

(50:35):
in a great your ace right now.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
That's so true. You're in a great space.

Speaker 3 (50:38):
And I'm proud of you for figuring that out because
it takes a lot of people a lot longer.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
It really does.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
And you're saying that you're twenty five, I mean, and
then the funny thing is, she says, she's twenty five,
but in reading all of what you did through college
then the pandemic then and you accomplished a lot twenty five.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
She was about to say, like maybe mid thirties.

Speaker 5 (50:56):
Mid thirties.

Speaker 1 (50:56):
Yeah, So I say that to say, I guess what's
the car? And I are ultimately saying here is that
just because you're taking an alternate route to get to
what it is you really want to do, does not
mean that it's the wrong route. Because a lot of
times God will want to show you things along the way.
You may meet somebody in that path that you didn't
expect to meet that can propel you into something else.

(51:17):
For example, you never know you might be doing a
sonogram for somebody you know. In that space, you get
to chit chatting and talking again bedside manner, having you know,
really good human interaction and conversations with people.

Speaker 2 (51:30):
Oh what do you do?

Speaker 5 (51:31):
Oh, I work at a new station. Oh you know,
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (51:34):
I work at this.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
You just don't know who you're going to meet along
the way. And I do understand your family feeling like, oh,
because that's what we're taught.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
We're taught.

Speaker 1 (51:42):
Oh, get yourself a nice city job, practical, practical, pretty
job that you can retire from. You got your benefits,
but again, fulfillment, and you didn't seem like you were
fulfilled in that space, anxiety turning into depression. I don't
feel like that's where you had to stay.

Speaker 5 (51:59):
So proud of you.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
I'm proud of you for having the mindset that the
time and capital. Again, so you work a job so
that way it can fund and fuel your passion. So
keep doing what you're doing. Don't worry about the timeline.
You're twenty five. You have so much life to live.
People are People are just coming into their own in
their late thirties forties.

Speaker 2 (52:21):
Trust me, you, Oh you're not late thirties.

Speaker 1 (52:24):
So coming into her own at thirty and then you
rather set yourself up for a life that you can
be proud of, that you can be happy with that
you are nothing filled with fill.

Speaker 3 (52:37):
Cup is filmed like you're happy to go to work every.

Speaker 1 (52:40):
Day, every single day. That's how you know that you're
in the right space. So some things are going to
require a sacrifice, Some things are going to require doing
things you don't necessarily want to do in that moment.
But just know that in every less every failure or
what seems like a failure, it really can be the
lesson that you need. So all the best to you, girl,
Thank you so much for writing Zakaria. Thank you for

(53:01):
having me here. I know this is this was like
a really really good one, but yeah, it was spot
on for the topic today. All right, y'all, if you
want to be featured as a listener letter for a
future episode, I can't guarantee Sakaria is going to be
here to answer a question and might me devour with
somebody else, but don't let that stop you from email
emailing us at dead ass Advice at gmail dot dot com.
That's D E A D A S S A D

(53:24):
v I. C. E at gmail dot com. Devil normally
says that part that's so slow, that's cool, all right,
so Zakari. To wrap up the conversation, we always do
a moment of truth, and the moment of truth pretty
much is just like one or two sentences that just
encompasses what the takeaway is from this episode, or maybe
a moment of truth of revelation that you had as

(53:47):
we were talking, or something else that you just want
to reiterate to people that they can take away from
this episode today.

Speaker 3 (53:54):
Oh okay, I guess for the moment of truth, I'll
talk my truth mm hmm. And going into this next
decade of life, and with so many different changes happening
in my life, I feel like everyone needs to take
a step back and be grateful for where they are

(54:14):
and then start planning out the next decade and what
that's going to look like and work your ass off.

Speaker 2 (54:18):
To get there.

Speaker 1 (54:19):
Oh yeah, you heard it, work your ass off to
get here. And just because life for you is not
looking like what you thought it would look like in
the moment or the next five years, doesn't look like
what you thought it would look like, it doesn't mean
that greater is not on the other side, So I
love that my moment of truth kind of wrapped up

(54:40):
into yours too. I just wanted to again thank you
for sitting with me today. We have such an incredible bond,
even just being ten years apart. People are so surprised
that we are as close as we are. But I'm
so happy that mom did not send me to boarding
school for high school because that was on the table too,

(55:00):
and my mom was like, if I sent Kadeen away
at the time twelve maybe thirteen, I would have gone
to boarding school around thirteen years old, and you at
the time.

Speaker 2 (55:11):
Were only two three, so.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
We wouldn't have had that time at home together to
really bond and connect. So shout out to Mimi and
Papa for taking the opportunity away for me to go
go away in school, but foresight, but having the foresight
to know that if she did that, it would make
our bond that much stronger. So love you, sis, thank
you for thanks for having me doing a day with

(55:36):
k and we're going to come back because there's like
so many, so many different things that we could talk about,
and I think it was fun. So whenever you're in town,
we should just jump on and do an episode as
I continue to roll out more a day with k
events and you know, chats and all that good stuff.
All right, be sure to find us on Patreon, y'all.
You can see us with exclusive dead Ass Podcasts video content.

(55:59):
You can also find us on social media Deadass Podcasts.
I'm Kadine, I am of course Devo's pages, I am
de Val and Sakari.

Speaker 2 (56:05):
If people want to.

Speaker 1 (56:06):
Follow your journey, if you're gonna be posting more about
women's health, where can they find you?

Speaker 2 (56:10):
On Instagram? Call her nurse Sakari, Call her nurse Sakari,
but don't actually call her.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
I won't be calling with all the nurse stuff, Okay, No,
I cannot look at it.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
And no, I do not want to see a picture
the pictures of like your rash and ship like that.
She don't want your blood results. I don't know. No,
I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 (56:30):
She might just invite she might invoice you.

Speaker 1 (56:33):
And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, please be sure
to rate, review, and subscribe and tell a friend.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
Dead Ass podcast Baby love, y'all peace.

Speaker 4 (56:44):
Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and
is produced by Donorpina and Trible, Follow the podcast on
social media at dead ass the Podcast, and never miss
a thing