Listener Letters

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
We're doing listening letters because we knowsy.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
We knows he too.

Speaker 3 (00:05):
Oh yeah, we have so many more voices. Now for
this listening letter episode, we're joining with Josh, Trull and
Matt to give their two cents. So that's two, four, six,
eight ten cents. Y'all about to get a whole dime,
a whole die.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight
from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become
Webby Award winning podcasters in New York Times best selling authors.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It
was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
Be wraw or but most apportly be us.

Speaker 3 (00:38):
But as we know, life keeps evolving, and so do we,
and through it all, one thing has never changed. This
is after because we got a lot to talk about.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
All right, let's get started, baby.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Let's go. Are we skipping karaoke? Do we have a
collective karaoke? What something that we all can sing together?

Speaker 4 (00:57):
Well?

Speaker 2 (00:57):
We all know.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
Let's in honor of da can Josh.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
He raised forever, he raised forever, He raised forever, he raised,
he ranged, he RaSE he he he raised, He raised forever.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Oh hell, okay, Jesus, I'm making a mockery out of
the choir. Jesus, if you.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
Ain't a mockery. I grew up on that song. Maybe
shout out to my debbie.

Speaker 3 (01:35):
My money didn't a song.

Speaker 5 (01:37):
No, I didn't know that one.

Speaker 6 (01:38):
I took you to church, Heathen.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
Do you have a favorite like church song or him
from my gospel playlist that I play on Sundays.

Speaker 5 (01:49):
No, No, it's people to think I was.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
Thinking the same thing to durradical with our message.

Speaker 4 (01:57):
I was literally samething by Fred Haim, but I don't
know which one at this point.

Speaker 5 (02:03):
Uh, weird blasted, Yeah, I like that one.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Triple. I heard the vocals, Weird Blass.

Speaker 4 (02:12):
Saying I was gonna be the the next Beyonce happened.
I was going to be Well, it ain't. Nothing happened yet.
Be on the lookout for the BBL triple album.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Be staying for something different, b b L.

Speaker 3 (02:27):
Triple b b L B e O. Y, all right,
let's dive in. I'll go ahead and read the first one.
Maybe we can rotate and see, well the reading and responsibilities.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
I'm not reading it. I'm not reading.

Speaker 3 (02:40):
Don't tell me you're not the ones that could not
read aloud in school.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
I wasn't.

Speaker 6 (02:45):
It wasn't that I couldn't read it.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
I did it. But if this is optional, I'm talking facts.
I think.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
The cheat code to that, if you had any anxiety
about reading aloud, it was to look at how many
kids were ahead of you, and if you were reading
paragraph that you account the paragraphs so you can practice
your second.

Speaker 6 (03:10):
Idn't want to do it.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
You had me stuttering on this podcast. I can't even
read what's on my mind?

Speaker 3 (03:17):
I thought it was just invisil line collect.

Speaker 4 (03:23):
I had a I had a history teacher, Miss mall Eternal,
and he would let us do like popcorn reading for
extra credit. And I was so good at it that
he was like, you should do something with public speaking.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
You have a reader's voice like that and you read, well, yeah,
one of them about you said, what the chick from
Howard Stern?

Speaker 2 (03:47):
The lady?

Speaker 1 (03:48):
What's the lady?

Speaker 3 (03:48):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (03:49):
Okay, the real short lady. I don't know her name.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
I forget.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
Yeah, sound like her, you do.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
It's the radio. It's a good thing.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
It's a good Yeah, that's definitely a good thing.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Like beetlejuice. The house.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
He just struggling.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
Bro Listen, I get it.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
I didn't think he was a real person the whole time.
As a little kid, I thought it was like a
fake person. I didn't know Beatles this was a real person.
Until I got older.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
I wondered what his nosey or smell like.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Definitely, definitely.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
It was rent free in my head where she was like,
even his nose earstinks.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
I'm my god them when you just know somebody breath
through their nose, they really got a problem, just like.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
Weed all the time.

Speaker 4 (04:33):
He got his breath, Breakfast team, it's going after I'm
not his breath.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
He depressed and all the time, and he's probably depressed too.
They're both going through it. That was an old listener.

Speaker 3 (04:45):
Letter, but yes, all right, Well into the listening letters
for today. Hello. My name is Carolyn and my fiancee, Ashley,
and I have been together six and a half years
and got engaged last May. Congrats y'all. We're both from
New York me Long Island, that's how counting from Hot
Bob and she's from Brooklyn. She sounds like a very
swell individual. Knowing that she's from Brooklyn. I work in

(05:08):
college athletics with a crazy schedule, and she works in
the government. Lord knows. We're going through it right now,
and we have goals both professionally, personally and as a couple.
I'm wondering how you all came across the friends who
would later become your family that you've built your empire with,
and how that evolution professional How was that evolution professionally

(05:29):
and personally? We have friends we call family that we
came into relationship with, but haven't yet met those people
as a couple that we build with in our own way.
You all, your chosen family included, are inspiring me and
me and I are aspiring me and I hope to
have our own version of that. The way that you

(05:50):
move in society, what you use your platforms for, the
sneak peaks into your lives, what you share, how you
raise your kids. I'm studying so I can adapt and
change for what will work for us. We've already made
a few moves inspired by you both. Thank you for
creating a blueprint I find valuable and more importantly consistent.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
Thank you, Thank you so much. We appreciate that.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
Very sweet, Carolyn and Ashley, super sweet.

Speaker 4 (06:20):
Now, did you notice that the letter is not about
romantic relationships. But she had to let us know that
she a gay. She's in al one of the als
shout out to the.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
L Ashley And then sometimes you can't even like I
wanted to make sure that we were correct, because some
names can be to sexy, is brawling, You never know.
But let's let's err on the side of she's probably now.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
You just changed her whole sexual orientation.

Speaker 3 (06:55):
We love everybody. We love everybody.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
I understand her question though, asked you know how we
built our family of friends. I mean, I don't know
if anyone has noticed everyone that's around me, with the
exception of Trouble, we've known since Brooklyn. Yeah, and we're
just trying to get everybody to move down here. And
I think I think it's the same familiarity I have
with the people from Brooklyn. I just want to have
all of those same people with me here in Georgia.

(07:19):
And I think it's just using discernment, realizing like these
people are not only just good business partners, but they're
good with our children. You know. For example, before Trible
moved and Matt and Josh move, they would stay here
for four or five days as we filmed the podcast,
and it takes discernment, the same discernment you use to
choose someone. It takes the same level of discernment to

(07:40):
choose business partners and people you're going to have around
your children and family. You have to find people who
are alignment you are in alignment with you. I knew
Josh was married and Matt always aspired to be married.
Trible wants to be married. She likes women like I
like women. So there's aliment here we go. We're a
you know what I'm saying, But it's also just knowing

(08:01):
somebody's heart. You know, I can look at these three,
I can look at Jay, I can look at anybody
I work with and know that those are just good people. Yeah,
they're just good people.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
Because naturally, as we all grow, you know, within our
professional relationship, there's going to be differences when it comes
to you know, work processes, work ethic, how things are done,
and we try to respect everyone's process, but also knowing
that we're working together for the greater good. Discernment is
also knowing people who do not fall into that category.

(08:31):
So just because you've come from you know, the same
place and you grew up around the same era, doing
the same things. Some people will stay stagnant and they'll
stay there. So you have to also know, all right,
maybe this person is not somebody I can do business with,
but on a personal level, we can still vibe.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
Yeah. Yeah, ain't no shade to them. It's just they
just don't online with that particular That's okay for buildings.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
That's how you compartmentalize people, I think.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
But I do have a question because a lot of
people talk about trying to choose friends and fine friends.
Does anybody else have a problem trying to choose and
find friends me personally? I don't. Maybe I'm old and contankerous,
But if I realize that the relationship isn't serving me
no more, I feel like it's okay to just be like, yo,
I'm good on that.

Speaker 3 (09:14):
You've only become like that recently, though. You were very
much the kind of person that wanted everybody to win,
and you want everybody not to say that that's not
how you feel now, But you don't invest as much
time that you used to in trying to build people up.
Who you realize, Okay, After having five six, seven, eight
nine conversations with you about the same thing and you
haven't progressed or made any changes. Then I'm pretty much

(09:35):
speaking to a wall at this point, and it's no
longer serving me. Your battery is being depleted when people
are not charging you up.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
That is a fact. I think it's also having kids,
Like I don't have time, you know what I'm saying,
Like you really, when you have so many kids and
a wife, the time that you spend with your friends
is few and far in between. And when you have
that time, you want to spend it with people who
are going to help you be a better version of yourself.
That's how I choose to spend time with my friends.

(10:04):
Like if you're going to sit down with me and
complain about all the negative things going on in your life,
to me, that's not somebody I want to hang out
with you. If you want to talk about the same
things that we were talking about in high school and
college with no evolution, I want to spend that time
we got to sit down to.

Speaker 3 (10:19):
Be talking about businesses.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
I could be a better husband, how we can be
better you know what I'm saying. That's what I want
to spend my.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
Time with my friends. And you're right, that's probably just
the era that we're in. Do you, guys, feel like
there's any people or do you have any remorse for
people who you've left behind in your past that you
feel like, damn, like I'm trying to elevate and grow
in this person. It's just kind of stagnant. So we
no longer do you like more in relationships like that
that no longer serve you in that circumstance.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
No, I think what Devell has been able to do
is and the reason probably why we're here. Although I
knew you guys, but it's a star. It starts with conversation, right,
and it's all a conversation of this is what I
want to do or what can you do or whatever?
And through that conversation you see if people are receptive
to it or not. You might even prior with Like
I started my photography career as a duo. It was

(11:04):
supposed to be two of us. I started with Meat
and another friend, but going through that process, I just
realized they didn't have that same drive that I had. Right,
So it's just like that happens. He's still my friend,
it's still a really good friend of mine, but it
just business wise, it just doesn't work right, And you
see that very early on. You see like coaching probably
doesn't work or you know, they got other things going on,

(11:25):
so you just leave that. You do it, you got
to do on your own and find somebody else.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
I'm glad you brought up business because we always talk
about how people don't understand business. Right. One of my homeboys,
it's Jay. Y'all know Jay, it's mom juices. She does,
you know, juice compression. So I was paying to have
the other dude compressed my juices. I say to Jay, like, Yo,
your mom compressed juice. I pay her na d she

(11:50):
want to do it for you. She just want to
do it for you because she appreciated it. I bet
so I paid her for the juices. I paid up
front and then midway through she's like, I'm just tired.
I can't finish. And then for me, I'm I'm like,
I don't worry about it, but like this is bad business.
And she was like, well, I wasn't doing a business.
I was doing a favor. And I'm like that's where
people have to understand the difference. That's a friend who

(12:10):
wants to do a favor. Let me keep that person
in that lane. When you have a friend that wants
to do a favor, but then you're trying to do
business with them, that's when you make the right right
and that's why you can't do that. Thank you. I agree,
like because for me, it's like I wanted this as
a priority. I didn't. It didn't matter to me how
much I had to pay because I was already paying somebody.

(12:30):
But when she was just like, I want to do
it as a favor, she wanted to do it on
her time. That's not how I run business. So so
I'm glad you brought that up because a lot of
times friends fall out because they haven't defined the expectations,
expectations for the business, you know, And I think it's
important when you have friends and y'all are going to
go into business, we have to define those expectations before
it starts, because that's how friendships get lost.

Speaker 3 (12:52):
Oh you know, I've seen it happen to a lot
of folks. Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 6 (12:55):
Going back to what you said about mourning friendships, I
don't necessarily more in friendships because a lot of friendships
are only for a season, and once you start understanding that,
you get over.

Speaker 3 (13:04):
That's a good point, because I think we're conditioned to
believe that friendships are like forever forever. You know, friends
through thick and thin growth, and yeah, as you get
older you realize that.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
Yes, the reality is if you love this friend, it
doesn't matter if you guys are close in this season
or not speaking in the season, I still love you.
You're my friend. I think for me, that's a definition
of friendship. Friendship does not mean that somebody you have
to do somebody with someone something with someone. It doesn't
mean that I have to see you all the time.
It doesn't mean that we have to speak. And that's
where people fall out with certain friendships.

Speaker 3 (13:37):
Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 4 (13:37):
I think I haven't fallen out with people because of
they're not willing to elevate in their own lives. I
think that the way you choose to live is the
way you choose to live. And I don't find myself
in friendships with bums anyway. So people are at least
doing what they need to to live in the way
that feels comfortable to them. The only times I've lost
friends is when they're like mean to me, or when

(14:00):
the friendship is like toxic and we can't be friends,
and that is sad. I've more in those friendships. But
you know, I tend to get people grace when it
comes to like what they're doing in their career, because
I mean whatever.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
I feel bad now because I feel like friendships, like
much like relationships have a transactional component, right, And it's
like we're only friends because we provide something for each other.
Like that's how friendship starts. No one's just saying, oh,
I like your shirt, let's be friends. It's like you
provide something for me, I provide something for you.

Speaker 3 (14:37):
Really, I don't think I'm.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
Friendships are transactional.

Speaker 1 (14:41):
Yeah, I'm talking about my perspectives, Like it seems like
friendships become transactional and it maybe you can't do something
for somebody, then they no longer have no purpose for you.
So for me, and maybe this is just my.

Speaker 3 (14:54):
Perspective because of your experiences.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
Maybe because of my experiences, I've noticed that my relationships
would be very transactional. As long as I'm doing stuff
for people with somebody, then we're friends. In a minute,
I can't or I don't, we're no longer friends. So
for me, I don't get upset at that. I just
become very transactional way, which means if you can't do
something for me, there's no reason for me to continue
to try to put forth my best effort in this friendship.

(15:17):
Because maybe it's because I'm cynical and I've been hurt
so many times with friends that way. That's just how
I approach your best friends. This is how you hear
with your best friends.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
I have it. I don't really have friends.

Speaker 1 (15:31):
Not your best friend, your best friends. All your friends
aren't like equal, Nah, my friends they can't be Do
you want to be.

Speaker 5 (15:43):
My best friend?

Speaker 1 (15:45):
The month to be honest, my best friend is k Yes.

Speaker 5 (15:47):
You want to be my second best friend? You would
be seven.

Speaker 1 (15:52):
I would be seven for me.

Speaker 5 (15:53):
Yeah, I mean be honest.

Speaker 4 (15:54):
I mean you probably because I don't have one wife.
I have like seven wives, you know, like seven that.

Speaker 1 (16:02):
Makes a lot to deal with. I don't know how.

Speaker 4 (16:04):
Romantic best friends they make up one wife, Like if
you think about the time that we're able to spend
together and the things that we're able to provide with
each other, Like what kadeenas for you, these like seven women.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
Are for me. I get that. That makes that makes
I get it. I just don't have anybody other than
Matt let's call you like we has.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
Literally become like the balls.

Speaker 5 (16:26):
Yeah, seems that way. It's precious.

Speaker 3 (16:29):
Like even some of your friends from college and who
we've grown with, they're not even people who you converse.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
Body calls me to be like, I want to stop by,
say what's up with the value?

Speaker 2 (16:41):
Good?

Speaker 1 (16:41):
Nobody, not my brother, not mine.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
Nobody text you last week and EXECU was good.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
You did one time in ten years.

Speaker 4 (16:49):
I always want to but one saying don't text. You're
saying you niggas, don't text back, And.

Speaker 3 (16:55):
Then I know I don't say all that the fact.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
Time I text back.

Speaker 5 (17:01):
But I also we talked about this before.

Speaker 4 (17:03):
I don't be feeling comfortable being like I'm gonna stop by. Yeah,
I got fifty eleven kids and I'm not.

Speaker 3 (17:12):
Plus one.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
I'm not blaming anybody for I'm just saying my life
is what my life is like, my life crazy. I'm
never really home. No one ever really calls to be like, yo,
you're good, mattle hit me. Matt'll just come by. I'll
be upstairs and I'll be like, who the fuck is
downstairs in the man cave?

Speaker 3 (17:31):
Take the camera.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
I'm like oh, Matt, Matt is downstairs.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
Good.

Speaker 6 (17:36):
I can see it in your face. You're not what's wrong?

Speaker 1 (17:38):
Other than that, there's no one calls me. And maybe
that's why I feel like relationships are transaction because if
it ain't Matt, tif call me me once.

Speaker 4 (17:48):
But other than that, yeah, I feel like I just
have with a lot of my friends. I know that
if I don't go see them, then I won't see
them right, And it doesn't make me feel away like
you know, I know that some people just don't have
the muscle.

Speaker 5 (18:05):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (18:06):
I prioritize my friends differently maybe than other people do.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
Yeah, so you just don't take you don't take it personally.
I don't have to compartmentalize friends and say, Okay, I'm
this kind of person. Don't you feel like there's a
deficit though.

Speaker 4 (18:17):
No, because I feel like some people view me in
a way that I don't view myself or that's not accurate,
and so they might not feel like I have as
much room in my life for them as I actually do.

Speaker 5 (18:30):
So I have to make it known that I do.

Speaker 4 (18:32):
By reaching out to them or calling them or going
to see you.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
No, see that that to me. That to me is
the transactional part. It's like if you're my friend.

Speaker 4 (18:40):
But they provide something to me once you know what
I'm saying, once I'm there, once I'm on the phone.
They definitely give back to me as much as I
give to them.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
I justeah, they're just tired.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
Though it does for me, it gets turned. I stopped initiating,
so now I feel like I'm kind of on the
island when it becomes yeah, I'm cool with it, though,
like don't. I don't take it personally. You're just understand
only one with a life. You should have lives too.

Speaker 6 (19:04):
Correct When you start understanding that other people got stuff,
there's no why am I stressing about this?

Speaker 2 (19:10):
And it's still cool.

Speaker 6 (19:11):
We just don't need to talk daily or I don't
need to push it to reach out.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
And that's the issue when people feel slighted because you
don't reach out to them, not understanding like yo, I
got something going on, just like you got go.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
It's not having understanding when I said when I said
that one time on the podcast, that you know, if
I don't talk to my friends for two three weeks,
a reply like were good? People were just like what
you're a bad friend. I was like, this works for
me and my friends, Like this is the understanding that
we have. You know, it's no love loss, it's just
what works for us. Kind of like in romantic relationships,
you got to talk to the people involved to see
what what's the code, Like what's the lay of the land.

Speaker 2 (19:45):
On a group?

Speaker 1 (19:46):
I know, I know shit is transactionally me and my friends,
And maybe it's because we're coming from that era where
men are only value for what they can provide. Like
me and my friends don't talk every day. Them niggas
need something, they call me. I'm on it, yo, you
need I got it when I needed something from them.
They my friends and I didn't talk to is like
what you need, bro. So for me, it is kind
of transactional, but I don't take it as.

Speaker 6 (20:08):
But we're still friends.

Speaker 1 (20:09):
We're friends. Yeah, like my boys that from college, they
got my back. I don't got to talk to them
every day, but it is transactional, but doesn't need to.

Speaker 2 (20:18):
I have a hard time seeing that as being transactional.

Speaker 1 (20:21):
Because we only really contact each other when you need,
like like we have the the group chat conversations.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
But let's I'm saying, let's clean this up. You're not
doing it because they're going to do something for you. Nah,
And they're not asking you because they're expecting that they'll
have to do something for you to get something what
they desire from you.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
No, I mean, like the core of the friendship is
not based off.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
It's not it's not based off the transactions. But that
doesn't mean that it's not transactional.

Speaker 3 (20:54):
But you still like each other as people.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
Yeah, people when I'm when I mean the friendship. Our
friendship isn't based on going on trips together experiencing new things.
Our friendship is based on your you need help. Yeah,
that's and I think that may be a man thing
because men are often like you know what I'm saying. No,
I don't know, because I feel like some of the

(21:18):
whole thing about men being angry and fine, I feel
like men often do that with their own friends. Or
he's fine, he's fine until he angry and needs something,
and it's like I know what he's going through, so
without even And this is me being a good friend
without having to ask too many questions or make you
feel guilty about what's going on?

Speaker 4 (21:35):
Bro?

Speaker 1 (21:35):
What you need help with? All right? Yeah? The answer
is yes, because as a as a man, sometimes I
don't want to have to explain why I need help
to my friends. I just need help. And I got
those type of friends where I was like, yo, I
need to borrow ten bands and they'd be like, they'd
be like, all right, well when can I get it
to you? And I'm just like, can you get it
to me by Friday? And they'll just be like, all right,
I got y'all you like. And I don't have to

(21:55):
be like I'm out on this and this.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
No, it's like you don't want that.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
You know what we go through as men's times, so
to me it's transactional. But they're still my friends.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
Like I don't have.

Speaker 5 (22:06):
A friend that I can borrow ten bands from.

Speaker 2 (22:08):
You don't need all your friends to be a therapist
and borrow loosely.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Yes, that is a fat and Josh, what you said,
you don't need all your friends to be a therapist.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
Sometimes escape.

Speaker 4 (22:25):
Yeah, we have one of my friends who is not
very good at reaching out. We have a group chat
with another friend. We've been all friends since high school,
so we have history and we are aligned in certain ways,
but we're not aligned in the ways that we communicate,
you know, and so one thing, though we all play this,
we know that so two of us talk more often

(22:48):
and then the other one. It's kind of hard to
keep her engaged. But we know that she likes to
play the New York Times games, and so we started
a group chat where the only thing we do is
send each other our results to connect the game connections
every day and then sometimes somebody will say something extra,
but it's it's not overwhelming her because it's something that
she's already doing, and we keep in contact at least,

(23:12):
and so like, yeah, so there's ways I feel like
alignment going back to the beginning, so we can go
to the second letter. But alignment is super important, and
sometimes when you have history, you have to find the
ways that you align. And sometimes friendships can grow out
of alignment. Because this person is talking about wanting to
build with people. So sometimes when you're already in a

(23:32):
certain like professional relationship with somebody, then you build a
friendship from there and then you can push what you're
building forward. Sometimes people want to make friends and then
try to build something from there, but that doesn't always
work because sometimes it's your idea that you're forcing onto somebody.

Speaker 3 (23:50):
Yeah, that's a good yeah point.

Speaker 4 (23:52):
Maybe if you find a way to get involved in
the thing that you want to do, and.

Speaker 3 (23:58):
Then through conversation, then from the right right. Thank you
so much, Carolyn and Ashley appreciate the love and support
hope that helped.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Now number two, Hey Cavell.

Speaker 3 (24:16):
People were always like, why don't you have a son
named Cavell? It keep the names together?

Speaker 1 (24:21):
Sound like a fruit, like, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
Like to me, it sounds more like a medication. Like
if you have leaky gut, it's probably your cure Covell, Coveal.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
It would be Cavalley, you know, and they would have
people dancing around and floating.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
Is that I use Cavali to get rid of that?

Speaker 3 (24:40):
You know?

Speaker 1 (24:41):
Something like what.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
Local from the eyes and.

Speaker 3 (24:48):
Right like causes leaky gut? Is a leaky gut?

Speaker 1 (24:53):
Lord, here's a good question. Does anybody know anybody that
has had this?

Speaker 5 (25:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (25:01):
You do not personally, No, But it.

Speaker 5 (25:05):
Was like a big thing.

Speaker 4 (25:06):
There's this this journalist who lives in New York and
she married her longtime boyfriend and he died like a
couple of months later from mizo thelioma.

Speaker 5 (25:14):
And I was like, why do you know her?

Speaker 1 (25:18):
Not personally, nobody I ever met anybody that says like, y'all,
I lost this person from Mezzo. But I've been seeing
these commercials since I was like forever. They're still on
Joe Joe Brown was just on the other day, Mimi
was watching and I was like, there was another Mezzo
Theloma commercial. But I haven't met nobody with that ever.
They be scamming us, whether the lawyers are who they

(25:40):
be scamming us. Bro, there's no way that we've never
met nobody.

Speaker 3 (25:45):
Like the symptoms of that, like what is what does?
We might all be walking.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
Around with it and don't even know, right well, if
I don't, if I don't know that I have it
and I'm from, don't tell me because I don't want
to start feeling the symptoms. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (25:56):
It's good something that a lot of people don't have
because there's been like a spect this loss because that's
where you get it from in hand.

Speaker 3 (26:03):
Oh that's what you get it from, and oh I see, Okay,
so that's probably like a way back thing. When it's
the biggest is probably let paint and whatnot and all that.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yeah, like chicken buildings. But why the commercials still out there?

Speaker 3 (26:15):
They got a paid spotman somebody over there making money
off of.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
It, right, well, let me let me get back.

Speaker 3 (26:18):
Let's get.

Speaker 1 (26:20):
Hey, caval Kadeen and Davou. The fact that they put
that in quotes like we wouldn't know who we're talking about.
But I appreciate you.

Speaker 5 (26:27):
We love it clean.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
My name is Queen, and I wanted to say thank
you for all that you do and all the laughs
you guys bring. All we appreciate you. It really has
been a joy watching you guys grow and learn in
real time, and watching the boys grow up as well.
The teacher and me be trying not to cry watch
them grow up. I come from a single parent household.
My parents divorced when I was three, so I wanted
to thank you guys for showing me what a good
marriage looks like and how to maintain one. All we

(26:50):
appreciate you. We trying our best. You have opened up
my mind to a lot of different things and giving
people grace. I have a different look on things, and
my opinions are different as well. I use y'all as
an example to a lot of my friends and family.
For example, my sister and I were talking about is
it a deal breaker for you to have to teach
a man sex? Years ago I would have said yes,
But now I'm actually like, now we can figure this out.

(27:12):
What I learned to continue to learn from you guys,
is from you guys. I use it on other people.
I just want to say thank you all this appreciation letter.
Oh no, the end, I said. Now for my question,
I am on the second floor, twenty five, twenty five
year old. We wanted to be old so bad the second.

Speaker 3 (27:32):
I'm on the second floor still like mezzanine level. Girl,
you didn't get to the good studs it.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
You know, you know what a person told me about floors.
But if you're on the floor and if you fall
up that balcony and you can't die, then that floor
don't matter. To think about it. If you're on the
second floor to fall off, that.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Does matter, old man, You're gonna hurt real.

Speaker 5 (27:51):
Bad, not die though you fall.

Speaker 1 (27:54):
Off get paralyzed. You're not gonna get paralyzed on the
second floor.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
Why did not you tell you can breaking falling out?

Speaker 1 (28:04):
This chick, correct, we're just talking about the floors. The
second floor is right there. Josh, I guarantee you can
jump out that.

Speaker 2 (28:10):
I won't try. I won't find out. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (28:13):
My next thing was gonna be like, go ahead try.

Speaker 3 (28:15):
You know why this was a recent thought for me, guys.
I was in Kingston, Jamaica last week with Tiffany on
a quick trip.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
Right we got I wasn't for all y'all would be like, Kade,
you need a break. She just says she was on
a trip to Jamaica. I wasn't dead.

Speaker 3 (28:29):
It's okay, baby, I got your trip coming up. You
were working. I couldn't get you out of.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
It for them to be on my ass talk about Kadin,
you need to break.

Speaker 3 (28:37):
So I was in Jamaica. I was looking for property. Actually,
I want to buy a house down there or some
land something. AnyWho, Tiffany and I were at a hotel
in Kingston and we were checking out at the hotel,
ready to catch our cab to the airport, and we
were locked into the room, meaning the dead boat lock
that we put on the night before would not open.
One hour and ten minutes. There were about eight men

(28:58):
outside of the door having to sow and drill and
bang and hammer us out of that door. And for
two seconds, we literally got so nervous because we were like,
God forbid, this was a medical emergency or fire. How
would we get out? So we're we're like strategizing how
we would get out of there. And we were on
the second floor, and I was like, yo, tif, I
would just use this chair, bust the window and jump

(29:20):
out like I would jump on the.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Second Why would you just open the window.

Speaker 3 (29:24):
Because that there was no balcony, So we were literally, no,
you can't open it. It was literally floor to ceiling glass.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
Well you could jump out because the bell feels like
you're not going to get hurt. Um out the window.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
I didn't show that. I said, you wasn't going to die.
God a fire. I hope she does jump out. Josh, like,
you know what, I'm gonna burn because if I jump
out this window on the second floor, I'm gonna die.

Speaker 3 (29:48):
Take my chances, I might fracture, but at least I'll
be alive. That was a real thought for me. AnyWho, Sorry, y'all,
we'll be getting so sidetrected the station.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
Get to the question.

Speaker 5 (30:02):
A question.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
Now for my question, I am on the second floor
twenty five and I am like Kadeen. In many ways,
I am an introvert and need my space. I don't
talk to or like people. Lol. I would like to
start the relationship train, but I'm scared. It's not my
first relationship, but my last one was extremely violent, destroyed
me emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I'm in therapy and

(30:26):
my therapist is asking when I'm getting back out there.
I'm not sure. Do you have any advice?

Speaker 3 (30:31):
Take your time? Yeah, like you to heal from that
past relationship. There is no time I think where most
people in their twenties and this is where I went wrong.
And I've even seen my sister do the same thing,
and I've been trying to, like, you know, talk her
off of this ledge. It's like, you feel like in
your twenties, you have this roadmap of what your life
is supposed to look like and what these milestones are

(30:53):
you're supposed to reach at a certain point in time.
Throw the timeline away if you're just not in that
moment ready for whatever that next step is, whether it's
relationship wise, whether it's career wise, and you're just not ready.
Life is a journey, it's a building process. Don't get
too wrapped up in Oh, I'm twenty five and I
should be dating if you're not ready?

Speaker 6 (31:11):
Where do these timelines come from?

Speaker 1 (31:13):
The biological clock? Which is why I'm going to challenge
k right. A lot of older women are now it's
going on social media saying to younger women was like,
I all brought into the whole my career, my career,
my career. Now I'm in my mid thirties and I
have my career, but I want a family. But now
I'm in my mid thirties and I'm not a viable
candidate because once you get to thirty five, you're considering geriatric.

(31:37):
So a lot more women are saying to younger women now, like,
don't put everything in front of your family and wanting
a relationship, because this is a fact that people don't
want to admit. The thirty five version, thirty five year
old version of Kadeen is not as viable of a
candidate as a twenty five year old version of Kadeen.
If we want to have children for her and me

(32:00):
at thirty five, if she has a baby and has
pardon preclamson, she could die, which is why we chose
not to have another child. But at twenty five. That
wasn't an option. You see what I'm saying. So when
we say to women like take your time and just
women can't just take their time because your body's actually
going through something and there is an actual countdown.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
So I get it. Yeah, you know, I hear your
perspective and I respect it because it is true as
a woman. But I also feel like you don't have
to be rigid in there's a rush per se, especially
when it's not right, because then you're going to rush
into something that just ultimately won't serve you.

Speaker 4 (32:32):
Yeah, and I think taking your time doesn't mean focus
on yourself, focusing your career, don't date. It does mean
if you're gonna date, take your time in dating, get
to know somebody before you commit to them, make sure
you're asking the right questions.

Speaker 5 (32:46):
It seems like she's focused on what it takes.

Speaker 4 (32:49):
To be in a good relationship because she doesn't want
to repeat the patterns that you know of her parents.
But it is also very important as a young woman
to be a good picker and to not let your
emotions get you in a situation that is not good
for you.

Speaker 1 (33:05):
I feel you, But she she did say my therapist
has asked me when I'm getting back out there date.
But that's what I'm saying, she's not even dating. You're saying,
is she should date and take her time dating. Yes,
she ain't even get out there to date.

Speaker 4 (33:21):
Yeah, I mean because I feel like the what she's
thinking about is getting out there to get into a
serious relationship altogether.

Speaker 5 (33:29):
If you're taking your.

Speaker 4 (33:30):
Time, you're figuring out what you want out of a
serious relationship. You're not necessarily looking for the one, but
you're looking for what are the characteristics of the one?

Speaker 1 (33:42):
Yeah, that's good. That's a good it's actually a good
A good like tip just to get back into it.
Don't date exclusively, just date and.

Speaker 5 (33:51):
Practice walking away.

Speaker 4 (33:52):
That's something that I didn't learn how to do until
this year, is to say this is the red flag
I do not like, I don't want to be with
somebody like this, and I'm gonna walk away the first
time I see.

Speaker 1 (34:03):
It like that, Like, don't date exclusively and don't get
comfortable walking away. That's a good point because people oftentimes,
once they get into a relationship, feel like I just
got to stick it out.

Speaker 4 (34:13):
Yeah, because we are taught that love is compromise, and
it's you know, holding on, and it's grace, and it's
you don't know this motherfucker yet you can walk away
from them, because yes, I do have grace. I understand
that you're not there yet and maybe you will get there,
but I don't have to be here when you when
you work on it.

Speaker 3 (34:31):
So as a dater, as a dater triple I say,
this question is directed towards you because you're probably the
only one in the dating scene now, So how does
one decipher when is a time to not compromise and
walk away? Like how much time are people investing now
in the dating process, because from what I hear from
people around me is that, you know, people are quick
to just walk away like one you know, as they say,

(34:51):
now red flag, or like one little thing that you
don't agree upon, you're ready to throw in the towel.

Speaker 2 (34:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (34:56):
So I'm like, if I was to throw in the
towel on the vow with a couple things that I
didn't really like early on, then I would I would
have missed out on the best thing that's ever happened
to me in my life. Said that again, I would
have missed out the gauge. Was there a time frame, like,
how do we know when to throw in this towel.

Speaker 4 (35:14):
I think that you have to be serious about what
red flags are. Red flags are not a man asking
you to split dinner, especially at this age. This man
probably wants to have a conversation with you, but maybe
today he didn't have all the money that he needs,
and you know, let's just split dinner on the first date.
But for somebody that's been in an abusive relationship, and
this is something that I had to learn as well

(35:37):
as being in an abusive relationship, I can pinpoint the
moment that I started letting somebody take control of me,
and it was a red flag in that moment, but
I let it go and I compromised, and I kept compromising,
and I kept compromising until this person was slapping me
in the face with a shoe. And so this, uh,

(35:59):
somebody I was just dating on our second date did
something that was a red flag.

Speaker 5 (36:06):
And this red flag was.

Speaker 4 (36:10):
It was like the night we went out, the night
before I was supposed to move to Atlanta, and the
day that I was moving to Atlanta, I had to
be up at six am because that's when they were
coming to pick up my stuff. I had to work
at the radio station from ten am to six pm,
and then right after that shift, I had to leave
and drive to Atlanta from Rhode Island, and so I

(36:30):
was gonna go to dinner by myself. But then she
was like, you know, we had went out the night before.
We had a good time. I'm like, yeah, come out
with me, but the day got away from me. I'm
still packing, I'm still trying to get my stuff together.
So I get to dinner like five minutes late. First
of all, I told her I can be there at
nine o'clock. She's like, what about eight forty five. I'm
moving tomorrow and I can't. Nine o'clock is the earliest

(36:51):
I could be there. So I tell her all this
stuff I got to do. She's like, okay, I'm gonna
eat before we get there because I'm hungry. So I'm like,
that's great.

Speaker 5 (36:57):
Get to the dinner.

Speaker 4 (36:58):
She's pouting, she's pissed, and I'm like, are you okay?
She doesn't have an appetizer, she hasn't eaten like she
said she was going to because she knew she was
hungry and she needed to take care of herself. But
What she also didn't do was offer to help me
at all in that situation, to be like, let me
if I want to eat earlier and you have to

(37:19):
get stuff done at the house before. I'm not dating
them now, That's what I'm saying. Yes, this was the
second date, though, this was a second date where somebody
was like, I want you to feel bad because.

Speaker 5 (37:32):
I cannot help you at all.

Speaker 4 (37:35):
I can't you know, I have no consideration for what
is going on in your life, and you need to
have all of the consideration for what's going on with me,
regardless of what's going on with you.

Speaker 5 (37:46):
So to me, that was a red flag.

Speaker 4 (37:47):
That was somebody who would go on to be controlling,
who would be abusive, who would be thoughtless.

Speaker 5 (37:53):
That's a red flag.

Speaker 4 (37:54):
And to walk away in that moment, I feel like
was the best decision to make.

Speaker 5 (37:58):
So it's red flags.

Speaker 3 (37:59):
Like that, not like major blowout fights or yeah, or.

Speaker 4 (38:03):
You didn't text me back for an hour or you
know what I'm saying. Especially when you're first getting to
know somebody, maybe you can something that you can work
on is communication. And I actually did give that person
another chance after that, But the longer that we've dated
the more that started coming up, the thoughtlessness, the like
controlling this, like the not being able to, you know,

(38:24):
adjust when I needed something, but wanting me always.

Speaker 5 (38:27):
To adjust when they needed something.

Speaker 4 (38:28):
So I think that you gotta you gotta get serious
about what red flags are, and if you are in therapy,
that's something you should talk to your therapist about, Like
what are the moments that you feel like make you
vulnerable to a certain type of partner who can be controlling, narcissistic,
and abusive.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
It's hard for me to understand that being a red
flag on the second date. That's what I'm like, It's
the second date. She's not gonna be that considerate on
the second day.

Speaker 4 (38:55):
Yeah, but she didn't take care of her own needs.
I told her what I had to had going on.
Had I still hadn't showered when we talked. I was
out running an errand I needed to get my roommate
to help me move my mattress. I still had to shower.
I had been uppacking all day, and I had to
be up at six am. And we were potentially gonna
spend the whole night together because we had just done
that the night before. She was already hungry, and she

(39:17):
wanted to go to dinner earlier, and I said I
couldn't because I have all this stuff going on. So
what she said is I'm gonna eat first, and then
she did it. And then because she didn't eat first,
she was mad at me for not moving around my
plans to accommodate her needs instead of her accommodating her
own needs on the second date and then having an
attitude on the second date, So.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
She chose not to eat after telling you she was
gonna eat, and they got an attitude. That's that seemed
to me. That seems like she was trying to manipulate exactly.

Speaker 5 (39:47):
That's a red fucking flash. It's a huge draft.

Speaker 4 (39:54):
Well well yeah, I mean I'm saying like, not only
did she not accommodate her own needs, but she didn't
even think about out being thoughtful and helping me do
what I had to do on the second day.

Speaker 5 (40:03):
That's that's a thoughtful thing to do.

Speaker 4 (40:05):
If you wanted me to be thoughtful enough to get
to dinner early enough so you could eat, then I
would expect reciprocity. That's a person who doesn't do no reciprocity. No,
But what could she have done that she could have
brought dinner. She could have said, you know what, I'll
just pick it.

Speaker 5 (40:17):
Up and come to you. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (40:20):
If she really wanted us to be together, we really
wanted to eat together, and she was hungry, I had
something to do, she wanted to be there earlier. She
could have done something different instead of expecting me to
do something different.

Speaker 6 (40:30):
Did she have the other stuff to do?

Speaker 5 (40:32):
No? No, absolutely fucking not.

Speaker 4 (40:36):
But that's a person that's not going to reciprocate care
the kind of care that they're asking for, and that,
to me, that's a reflag on the same Yeah, because
especially on the second day, you want.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
To show them as your best so trouble could that
also be a person that doesn't know that they're doing that?
And if you don't express that and give grace because
a lot of things you're saying haven't. We had the
same issues about consideration and if I would do the
same thing that K I wouldn't be married.

Speaker 5 (41:00):
Her on a second date.

Speaker 4 (41:01):
Though, on the second day, showing up as your best self,
you want somebody to like you, I'm not in your
best self is to be it is to not take
care of yourself be inconsiderate and then have a visible
attitude with somebody you don't know.

Speaker 1 (41:17):
No, I understand what you're saying. What I what I
all I'm saying is is that most people are flawed. Right,
And I'm not saying that you're wrong. What I'm saying
is most people are flawed. And if everybody takes that
approach that by the second date, if you're not perfect
and what I need, I'm moving on. That's how you
end up being single. It's only been two dates and
you expect her to know everything on the second date.

(41:39):
That just seems a little premature. That's just my thing.
I could be wrong because I haven't dated. So I'm
saying like, I don't know, but that second day.

Speaker 4 (41:47):
For six months, and every brand flag that came up
on the second date was consistent throughout the six months.

Speaker 3 (41:54):
You're continue dating after that?

Speaker 1 (41:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (41:55):
Okay, so it's been six months. Okay, gotcha? Because I
was wondering, I'm like, is it just tea?

Speaker 2 (42:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (42:00):
Is it dating fatigue? Like that people have that. It's like, okay,
after you know, kissing all the frogs, It's like, okay,
I'm tired of kissing frogs.

Speaker 4 (42:07):
I think is Maya Angela quote that's like when people
show you who they are, believe them the first time.

Speaker 5 (42:15):
And that's a big thing.

Speaker 4 (42:17):
Like if think about if if you went on a
first or second date with a woman and you're like,
let's go to dinner, and she shows up to dinner
in sweats, she had nothing else going on, this is
what she chose to wear. Then wouldn't you expect her
to show up in the relationship in sweats.

Speaker 5 (42:38):
Because that is the best that she could give you.

Speaker 4 (42:40):
I think that people in the beginning, when you're first
getting to know somebody, you're delivering your best self. You
want them to see the best of who you are.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
Yeah, they're also delivering their version of what they think
is their.

Speaker 5 (42:51):
Best way exactly exactly.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
But what I'm saying is is right when we put
a timeline on things, right, it's second date. You should
know how long you been married, Josh, fourteen years? Fourteen years,
I've been married, about to be fifteen. How long you've
been married enough by the year. Aren't there things in
your relationship that you still repeat to your wife that
you like?

Speaker 2 (43:12):
Bro?

Speaker 1 (43:13):
How can you not get this? We've been having this
conversation all right, So what I'm saying is if the
second date is going to be if you don't get
this by the second date, then we've done. It's a
red flag. You wouldn't be married. Neither would you. Neither
would you or I Because there's things that we've been
going through in our relationship for twenty two years that
it's like, For example, you say, if you had nothing
to do, like think about it, if you had nothing

(43:35):
to do, you supposed to be considerate to what I need.
You had nothing to do. I come to the date
and you still got on sweatpants. There's been plenty of
times on both sides where she's been doing something and
I've been doing something and the other person didn't have
much going on, but we just weren't considerate of that
person in the moment. And it's like the whole red
flag thing for me is difficult. Plus I've never dated,

(43:56):
so I'm not saying that you're wrong, but it's just
like it will be a lot of red flags with
all of us in our spouses if we go through
the years we've been together and the stuff we have
to repeat.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
You know what I'm saying, Yeah, but I think what
what I hear her saying is what Hair is saying
is consideration is her red flag?

Speaker 5 (44:12):
Exactly?

Speaker 2 (44:13):
That's a.

Speaker 5 (44:15):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
I don't want to be with somebody that I have
to teach how to be thoughtful or considerate, like to me, like,
I want to be with somebody who shows up as
a considerate person because I keep considerate people in my circle,
and I know that I come to the relationship being
extremely considerate, and I know that I give a lot
and I you know what I'm saying, I'll meet my
partner ninety percent of the way, and I don't think

(44:38):
that that, for me is something that I want to
continue to do in a relationship.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
Some idtand I just understand that consideration is not so yeah,
for me, that's for me, that's a red flag.

Speaker 5 (44:47):
I'm not saying that this should be a reflect everybody.

Speaker 4 (44:49):
Yea yeah, but because of my experience, because I've learned
what I want and don't want in a relationship, for me,
that is a specific red flag. So again I'm saying,
like she should learn her own red flags therapy with
her therapist, so her therapists can say, well, is that
really a red flag or is that something that can yeah,
that you can communicate or is it a preference?

Speaker 5 (45:09):
Right?

Speaker 4 (45:09):
I don't think everything is a red flag, Like I
don't necessarily I don't think sweats is a red flag.
But my example was, wouldn't you expect that person to
keep wearing sweats in the relationship if their best self
that they presented to you on the first or second
date was sweats, And you got to decide is that
something you want or not?

Speaker 1 (45:25):
I hear it. This is the disconnect that happens with
single people and married people. Married people will tell you
you have to learn the compromise and give grace and
be patient, right, and then a single person will say,
but when it's too much patience enough. This is the
difference between a married person and a single person. I've
found someone that I said, I'm going to just be
patient with throughout life. Mm hmm, Like I'm just gonna

(45:49):
be patient. There's so many red flags that other people
could point out, be like that was a reflag, shit
or never, that was a ref flag. But I'm like,
I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 5 (45:56):
Other people's red flags.

Speaker 1 (45:57):
You know what I'm saying, Yeah, I want to be married,
and I think some people need to just decide.

Speaker 2 (46:02):
Oh it is definitely a decision, you know what I'm saying.
I think I remember our pre marriage counseling was like,
what do you what do you not like about your partner?
And you write it down, But the next question is
will you be willing to move forward with them? If
this thing never changes right? Right, and it's.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
It's making the decision decision? Am I able to end it?

Speaker 2 (46:25):
And I get it, like if consideration is not a thing,
like I want to be considered. If you can't you
if I feel like you're not considered to me and
I can't move forward with you not considering me, it's
hell yeah, Like I don't.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
Like it, but I do. I got to bring this
up too. Though. Studies show that women will tolerate less
where men will definitely sit down and accept more. For example,
heterosexual marriages, most women initiate divorces. In gay couples, women
get divorced at like a seventy percent rate, but men

(47:01):
get divorced at a twenty percent rate. I think it
also goes back to you see how triple set them
rigid red flags. Men are more willing to be like, eh,
I might deal with that, you know what I'm saying,
And before people get upset and say that's a generalization.
The statistics prove that men are more willing to sit
in misery doesn't make it a good thing. But to

(47:21):
sit in misery where women will be like, I'm not
dealing with that shit, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (47:26):
So what is it that men turn a blind eye
to it or they just you know, get their needs
fulfilled elsewhere.

Speaker 1 (47:31):
Well, I think that's that's what the discussion has to be.
It's like when I'm listening to Triple Talk or even
listening to my single friends, it's like that's a red flag.
I'm cutting it off. And if you even look at
social media, a lot of the things is red flag,
red flag, red flag. But all of the married people
here was just like, yeah, we saw red flags with
our spouses, but we kept going. And to me, it's

(47:51):
just at some point you got to make a choice
if you want to be married. You're never gonna find
somebody that don't got no red flags.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
I guess that's where love comes into play, where it's
just like, man, I just really love this person, like
I can't see my life without this person. So to
Josh's point, what are the things that I'm willing to
bend on and tolerate for the rest of my life
potentially with this person because I just genuinely love that person.
So you feel like you haven't met someone yet that's
just like, this is the person that I meant to

(48:19):
be with. And you know, I'll deal with the sweatpants
or I'll deal with the pouting because I love this.

Speaker 4 (48:24):
Person and every relationship I've dealt and dealt and dealt
and dealt, and the lack of reciprocity and the fact
that I can look at moments in those relationships that
were early on before I made a brash choice to
deal and to stay and to decide, I'm just like,
I don't think it's worth that anymore. I got to

(48:46):
think about what am I ignoring when I go into
these relationships that are not giving me what I want
out of a relationship. And I have to be serious
about walking away because I deal too much for something
that you know, doesn't you know, what I'm saying doesn't
give to me what I'm looking for. And the other person,
I'm giving them grace and I'm deciding to be with
them and they're not doing the same thing because they're

(49:07):
not even holding themselves accountable, so they're they don't you know,
I'm letting them give me shit, and that's what they're
giving me, and then they walk away when they're when
they are tired, you know what I'm saying, Like, it's
just it's it's I So no, I have not found
the person that I would decide And I'm not say.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
Yeah, I think all marriages, the part part of marriage
is suddenly part of it.

Speaker 5 (49:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (49:31):
I'm not saying anybody has to be perfect. I don't
want anybody to be perfect. I'm dated people who are
not perfect. But there's just some things to me that
you know, I don't I don't want and I guess
I guess Yeah, to your point, I haven't been in
a situation with somebody that I felt like, well, I
don't like this about you, but I love you, except
like my friends, Like my friends are like that, my

(49:51):
friends get on my fucking nerves.

Speaker 5 (49:53):
I love my friends.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
I don't think is you have to love the person.
You have to love the idea of being married. That
to me is the difference. There's never gonna like Kadeen
didn't do anything to make me want to marry her,
like I don't think Anika did something and I was like,
this was the thing that Josh that I'm gonna marry her.
It was like, Josh wants to be married, Matt, you
want to be married, right, I want to be married.
That's just what it is. And I think that what

(50:17):
I'm saying is you have to be in love with
the idea of being married in order in order to
even start dating, to find someone to say, you know what,
I'll deal with this because I love that person. Because
my thought process is if you don't like the idea
of being married, any red flag is going to be
like this is why I'm not getting married. You know

(50:38):
what I'm saying. It's just like, yo, I don't want
to have like what Triple just said. I don't want
to have to capitulate or bend and keep bending and
keep bending and keep bending. She says, she don't want
to have to Do you feel like you you ever
stopped bending in your marriage? Do you feel like you
ever stopped bending?

Speaker 2 (50:54):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (50:54):
No, you see what I'm saying. Tribal trible is so
before you so before you disagree with what I'm saying, Listen,
I'm not tripple, said she doesn't want to be in
a relationship where she always has to bend and bend
and bend. No, no, no, no, no, you said that.

Speaker 4 (51:09):
Just now, I said, dealing with stuff that I don't
want to deal with and getting reciprocity.

Speaker 1 (51:13):
From that's bending. That's the same thing. She don't want
to have to deal with that.

Speaker 4 (51:18):
No, because I want to be married, and if I
had the opportunity, I would be married.

Speaker 5 (51:24):
I would have been married to somebody that was slapping me.

Speaker 1 (51:27):
But what I'm saying is that you said you didn't
want to stop having to You wanted to stop having
to deal with stuff. Do you deal with stuff in
your marriage? Do you deal with stuff in your marriage?
Do you deal with stuff in your marriage?

Speaker 3 (51:37):
For sure?

Speaker 1 (51:37):
You can't say you want to be married, but you
want to be married and not have to deal with
bending and not things being reciprocated. Are things always reciprocated
in your marriage?

Speaker 2 (51:46):
Not all the time?

Speaker 1 (51:47):
Are things always reciprocating your marriage? That's my point. My
point is if you're looking for a marriage where you
never have to deal and this is always going to
be reciprocated, you're never going to get married because that's
not how it works.

Speaker 3 (52:00):
Saying wanting to be married is where it starts is
not entirely true in my opinion, because sometimes the love
and the like that you have for this person as
an individual outweighs all of the pomps and circumstances around marriage.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
Because you but the thing is marriage is definitely that thought.
Marriage is dealing, Marriage is capitulating. Marriage is saying I'm
going to bend and negotiate. What Triple is saying is
she doesn't want to have to marry somebody that she
has to negotiate, and it's not being received.

Speaker 5 (52:29):
I don't think it's I don't think it's as.

Speaker 4 (52:32):
I hear what you're saying, and I'm not saying that
I don't ever want to have to bend and negotiate
with my partner.

Speaker 5 (52:38):
I don't think that's possible. But there are certain things that.

Speaker 4 (52:40):
I don't want to have to that I don't want
to keep putting up with all the Yeah, I don't
want to risk. I don't want to risk being in
a toxic relationship that is violent. And that's what this
person is saying. I'm saying, like, in order to pick
the right person, I have to be aware of how
like what it is that is making me pay the
person that is not, you know, the person that I

(53:04):
want to marry.

Speaker 1 (53:05):
I hear what you're saying, but I think people don't
understand what marriage is. Marriage is a constant, constant bend.
And when people say I don't want to be with
somebody that I always have to bend, then you don't
want to be married. And this is where I say
to people. People don't want to be brought, don't want
to be wives. They want to be brides, right, They
want to have all that comes with the outside of
what it looks like to be married. But you know

(53:27):
what it means to really be a wife. It means
to bend. It needs to give in, It needs to sacrifice.
You know what it means to be a husband. It
means to give in, It needs to bend. It means
to sacrifice. And every time you look at a sacrifice
or a bending or not getting your way as a
red flag, then that means that you really don't want
to be married.

Speaker 5 (53:46):
But don't both people have to bend, Yeah, both people, right.

Speaker 4 (53:49):
So this example is me noticing the way that I'm
bending this person not appreciated, and them refusing to bend.
So to me, that's a red flag that if I
were to want to married this person, I'm gonna do
all the bending like oh boy, Like Jackson said, So
you're doing right in one.

Speaker 1 (54:08):
Right, but in one aspect.

Speaker 4 (54:10):
You know what I'm saying, and that aspect is something
that I just don't want to bend only on. I
want resity in that assholect. So now let me ask
y'all a serious question.

Speaker 1 (54:19):
Is women right? It is fair to say that, y'all
sex drives is not as high as men right.

Speaker 4 (54:24):
So men, I wouldn't say that about myself, okay about yours,
But oftentimes men have to bend because what they want
sexually is not reciprocated from women.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
Is that not a fact?

Speaker 3 (54:35):
Yes, I'll say that's a fact.

Speaker 1 (54:37):
So based on what you both said, wouldn't it be
okay if a man went and got sex from someone
else or said I don't believe in marriage because I
don't want to have to bend to that.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
Absolutely if a man felt like that, a man who's
not married, I believe it felt like I don't want
to have to bend to having sex not as often
as I want to have sex, then you're not made
for marriage.

Speaker 1 (54:54):
And you know what happens when men say that, They
say he's childish. I believe in non monogamy.

Speaker 4 (54:59):
Though, so but you see what I'm saying, non monogamyn.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
But but you see what I'm saying. How for us
as as men, right in these situations, we are told,
especially for marriage, be prepared to bend and understand that
it's not going to be reciprocated. That's what we're told,
am I Lion, Josh, am I Lion. That's what we're told.
But it's hard to hear women sit down and say

(55:24):
if if you're not reciprocated, and that's a red flag,
then I'm out. It's like y'all tell us all the
time that we have to be prepared to bend and
be molded and take what y'all offer. But then say,
on your own side, if you don't bend and offer
what I want, I don't want to get married. To me,
that just seems like someone that doesn't want to be married.

Speaker 6 (55:42):
You say, know what I'm saying, what you're saying, but
I feel like trouble and what she's saying that she
was trying to look for somebody that at least shows
some signs of they're willing to work with you, they're
willing to listen and.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
Learn or at least change at least. Issue was the
second Yeah, I.

Speaker 6 (55:58):
Heard the second day part and the same way till
she explained it.

Speaker 1 (56:01):
But that's why I can't blame her, because I'm not.
I haven't dated that often. That's why I'm trying to understand,
because I haven't dated in this era, so I.

Speaker 3 (56:08):
Don't particularly difficult from what I hear.

Speaker 1 (56:10):
And a lot as for a woman, how many how
many dates do you take before you say?

Speaker 3 (56:15):
That's That's what I'm trying to understand. And all I
know is that I in the bed. My agility, my
agility is spot on.

Speaker 4 (56:24):
Yeah, I can say, I guess if that's how you feel. No,
I don't want to be married. If it means not
having reciprocity in the areas that I demand reciprocity in,
that's I would not be married.

Speaker 2 (56:38):
Then I would say a lot of times like if
you are not willing to change at all in some
things and it's just not going.

Speaker 6 (56:45):
To work, that's what I'm got to be adaptable.

Speaker 2 (56:47):
Somewhere there's something change, and it's something that changed for
the better. Some people grow into who they are, Like
I mean, I was a very immature person, like in
my twenties, and I got married in my twenties. I'm
not not as immature as I was then, you know.
So I think grace is important and understanding, like it
takes a lot to for somebody to change and understand

(57:11):
what you actually mean, because sometimes we're just not as mature. Fact,
So I wouldn't say, like, don't get married because people
aren't going to change. I wouldn't say that, but I
would say, like people change, something's changed, and some things don't.

Speaker 3 (57:23):
So when you change, Josh, do you change or anyone
who has changed right within a relationship, do you when
you are going through this change or this metamorphosis, do
you change considering how your spouse may receive it or
do you just say I'm changing and you have to adjust.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
I don't think I understand the question.

Speaker 3 (57:44):
So if you're changing, you realize you're going through a
change in yourself, do you consider during that change how
your spouse may react to it, or do you just
say I'm changing, so as my spouse, you need to
just honor this change and learn to adapt to this
new version.

Speaker 1 (57:58):
Of me type of oh, yeah, that's a really good question.
That's a really good question.

Speaker 3 (58:04):
Or are you not even aware that you're changing until
your I don't know.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
I don't know if a lot of times we are
aware that we're actually changing. We change based on circumstances,
we change the relationship that we're in. You you might
reflect five years ago. I'm like, man, I used to
do this. That's crazy.

Speaker 3 (58:17):
I don't even really really, I don't really.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
Realize it because you are growing, right, I don't think
our growth as people. I don't think it's ever never.

Speaker 3 (58:26):
It's not indicative of your spouse, Yeah exactly.

Speaker 2 (58:30):
It could be because of your spouse, or could not
be just because of your situation financially whatever. So I
don't know if you're changing. I can't say. I can't
say specifically I'm changing because or in consideration of my spouse.
Obviously there are things that I'm changing because I've been
told that there things I'm changing because I know, like
I could do better this, like or I'm learning or

(58:50):
reading books or or what have you.

Speaker 1 (58:52):
But you know, I just man listening to people who date.
It's just foreign to me, becau because I haven't dated.
So sometimes I'm asking questions because it just really don't
make sense to me. But I do understand it's hard
if you're outside and you alone right now when you're
trying to get to know people. You can't spend too
much time trying to get to know people if you
realize red flags. But I'm from this side where we

(59:15):
both have sacrificed so much everybody, and it's just like,
to be married is to sacrifice, Like that's just and
I feel like if you want to be in a relationship,
you have to desire marriage first before you desire someone else,
because you already go into the relationship knowing I'm going
to have to sacrifice and bend at some point. Also
know that this person that I'm talking to may not

(59:39):
bend immediately to what I'm saying. Like, our conversation with
a lot of things has been a decade plus long conversation,
and it's a lot of relationships go through that. It's like,
how long y'all been married? Those six years and we're
still talking about this And I'm like, yo, keep talking
about it, you know what I'm saying. But when I
talked to single people, they're like, nah, I'm talking about
that for too long. It's a red flag. And I'm like,

(01:00:00):
that to me, is the difference between single people and
married people. You know what I'm saying. We don't see
the red flags as that's a red flag. I'm out,
I see a red flag as this is an opportunity
for us to discuss something and work through it.

Speaker 3 (01:00:13):
So when you explain it this way, that makes me
understand why you said you need to consider wanting to
be married before.

Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
Yeah. That because okay, that's why I would I tell
my boys right now, de young, I'll say, once you
pick a girl, make sure that you choose a woman
who aspires marriage, not aspires a wedding, because there's two
different things. There are a lot of people who aspire
the idea of what it means to get married, right,
have a big party, get dressed up, do all of this,

(01:00:40):
but then when it comes time to the actual marriage,
they're like, wait, I wasn't ready for this. Aspire to
be with somebody who wants to be married, which means
that person knows they're gonna have to discipline and be
sacrificial to some of their things too. And I feel
like I found a person who wants to be married,
but you.

Speaker 6 (01:00:58):
Still want the good the green flag our way to
red absolutely, absolutely, you want to find someone to work with,
want to be married and work through those other things.

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
Absolutely, yeah, way more green flags and yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:09):
Like you can't ignore red flags, but when that person
wants to be married and you want to be married them,
red flags aren't so much like a run. It's let's
discuss this. Are you willing to fix that? Because for me,
some of my red flags because I wanted to be married,
I was willing to fix. But if I wasn't prepared
to be somebody's husband when she checked me on it,

(01:01:30):
they'd be like, what this is who I am?

Speaker 6 (01:01:31):
Except me you don't even know and you didn't even know.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
The house has to be the one at the time,
the person you dated, And that's what I was saying,
like you could have been that person for her, like
shorty and you said you were for six months. You
tried and it didn't work, so you were right. So
we're not even talking about that moment. I'm just trying
to think about how many dates do you go on
before you say that red flag is stuck.

Speaker 3 (01:01:53):
Well, the biggest red flag right now is that we
got to pay some bills, and this was a very
long list and letter number two, but I love how
the conversations tend to kind of spiral into a bigger conversation.
So let's take a break. We hope we helped you
out there, Queen with a whole lot. That was an
air full, and we'll be back with our lastness to
that other day. All right, we're back, and I feel

(01:02:27):
like at this point, for the sake of time, we
can do one more listening letter.

Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
First of all, I want to say this, Trouble. I
appreciate you being so open with your life. You know
what I'm saying, because for a long time, Kadeen and
I have been very open with our lives, you know
what I'm saying. But we don't hear too often other
people being vulnerable about what they go through and what
they And I appreciate you saying this because we have
single people who listen to our podcast and they're like,

(01:02:52):
sometimes I listen to y'all and it makes me jealous,
but also makes me feel like I missed out on life.
But then also it's like, nah, we want to hear
what you go through, is a single person, because Kate
says it all the time parts of her wish that
she could expect parts of her twenty singles so she
could have her own apartment going. You know what I'm saying, Jason.
So we like hearing these stories just to hear, like,
what is it like? So we could also get a

(01:03:13):
different insight. Solutely, I appreciate you but for being vulnerable
and honest.

Speaker 3 (01:03:17):
Yes, and we hope some of our lesseners can relate
to Yeah, that's in part two Lives for Elis. Ever after,
we wanted to open up the discussion to Trible, Matt,
and Josh because they all have their lives and different perspectives.
So we're here to learn and grow folks.

Speaker 1 (01:03:29):
Hey, Kane de vou, First off, I love you guys,
We love you too. I don't think I ever looked
up to a role model back a black couple until
I came across your Facebook page back in twenty twenty.
But I need your help. I am a person that
constantly acts on impulsiveness, also a person that requires instant
gratification the value. You spoke on poor minds and mentioned
that this generation, which is me once instant gratification. You

(01:03:50):
also said that nothing is easy that's worth having that
said something to me. I have commitment issues and that
stem from how I saw my father my family treat
things and treat other people. My goal, my dream career
is to be a full time content creator and hopefully
can make it to TV. I extremely enjoy making people laugh.
I love the attention for the right reasons. Everyone tells
me you should do YouTube, or you should post more

(01:04:12):
on social media platforms. You have the talent, you have
the personality. I believe I do too, but sometimes procrastination wins.
I love being a student and a teacher in the game.
I'm a leo, so I am hot headed. Sometimes I
don't listen and go. Sometimes I don't listen and go
based on my own desires rather than thinking logically. You guys,
please help me. I am twenty four years old. That's

(01:04:34):
why you feel like that. You're twenty four and I
want to make something of myself. You still can twenty
four as a baby. I want to be more creative
and generate wealth from my passion.

Speaker 3 (01:04:44):
I love it because you know, people listen to us.
Like you said, they listen and they're just like man,
I want to have all these things. I want to aspire,
but at twenty four. It's like, girl, you got so
much time, so much time. I advised to her today.

Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
The first thing I said is she said that she's impulsive.
She's impulsive. You can't be impulsive if you want to
be a content creator and you want to make money
from your passion. Impost ain't the way to go about it,
and being hot headed. You have to have a plan.
One thing you've heard Kadeen and I say since the
very first episode is that we had a plan when
we first met each other. I told her what I wanted.
She told me what she wanted, and her response was

(01:05:20):
with how we gonna do it? Make a plan, and
with that plan, don't make it a ten day plan.
My first plan was a five year plan. I told Okay,
I said, kay, I'm gonna get us to Hollywood in
five years. That was at the end of two thousand
and nine, turn into twenty ten. At the end of
that five years, I was nowhere close to being in Hollywood.
So I had to create a different plan. It took
me ten years to get to where I am now.

(01:05:42):
But I was consistent. I was disciplined. I never listened
to people tell me I shouldn't do it. I focused
on my dreams and my goal, but most importantly I
stuck with the plan.

Speaker 3 (01:05:52):
Yeah love that anybody else?

Speaker 5 (01:05:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:05:55):
Deval hit the nail on the head for me a
couple episodes ago when he was talking about and I
heard him saying this to Jackson yesterday, which reminded me
it was like a blessing that I walked in right
at that moment. But just most people don't focus on
the process, like we want to be good at something
right now today, we want our first video to go viral,
instead of understanding that there is real power in the process,

(01:06:19):
like getting better at something, especially at twenty four. But
the Oprah didn't get the Oprah Show and she'll till
she was thirty.

Speaker 5 (01:06:26):
Yep, So think about doing this.

Speaker 4 (01:06:27):
I used to tell myself, this is my twenties all
the time, and now that I'm past thirty, I'd be like, fuck,
I should have listened to my goddamn self. But think
about getting better at doing this by the time you're thirty,
Like you'll be really, really good if that's what you're
focused on. Instead of being focused on building wealth, be
focused on building your craft.

Speaker 3 (01:06:46):
Absolutely figuring out what it is you like, not what
everybody say you should be doing yeah, and do what
you like, like, do.

Speaker 2 (01:06:52):
It because you actually like it, as opposed to doing
it because I wanted a viral.

Speaker 4 (01:06:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:58):
I think people don't realize only viral a lot of
times isn't something that's intentional, right, It isn't something you're
trying to do right, right, Like I remember, like before
viral was like what it is. Now you go viral
and get like five hundred likes on a picture years
ago when we just like when social media started on Facebook, right,
that was like the pity me going viral because five

(01:07:18):
thousand people you don't know is li like in your stuff?

Speaker 1 (01:07:21):
Right?

Speaker 2 (01:07:21):
Then it goes and but you're just doing it because
you're getting you're you're you're you're in the process of
doing something, and you're doing what I enjoy. The fact
that you became viral.

Speaker 1 (01:07:31):
Is something it is aproduct. It's a byproduct of you
getting that out.

Speaker 2 (01:07:36):
So I think this generation has it twisted absolutely saying
the only way I could make it is to uh
is to go viral, Like that's that's the way I
I quantify my success by going viral by the amount
of people that see it. But your success is actually
you doing the thing that you that's birthed out of you.
And we so we so often miss like the act

(01:07:57):
of doing stuff, the act of the process that of
like looking back from like from when I was twenty
three to twenty five, like I've grown so much doing this.
I'm such a better person. What's next for me? Because
if you're not doing something now, you can't say, you
can't really really say what's next for me? You got
to start the action to doing stuff. And I think
this generation has completely lost touch of what it is

(01:08:19):
to be like successful at everything because they're looking at
going viral. It's always a viral moment.

Speaker 1 (01:08:26):
You know why too. Now I can look at my phone,
I can see a twelve year old that ran a
ten point in a hundred and if I'm twelve and
I don't run a ten point in the fuck track,
I can't. You know what I'm saying. It's like you
comparison high these things. You get to see the anomalies
all the time. Yeah, and now you think the anomalies

(01:08:46):
is the Normously did you get.

Speaker 2 (01:08:47):
To compare yourself instantly against somebody else and you don't
know what they're doing?

Speaker 1 (01:08:52):
That's what she's dealing with. Now, can you can hear
now that you're pointing it out being twenty four, I
can't imagine being twenty four with all of this stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
But it's that's a she's I mean, it happens now
it being thirty and forty. Like you like, now that
you've accomplished so much things, you're still like looking at, okay,
what this person did. But I think that's the problem.
Like you just got to do and you got to
get better. Like real talk, we have to start. This
is something we have to just get better at what
we Yeah, like in my twenties, I wanted to act.

Speaker 1 (01:09:21):
I was playing football, I was learning. I went in
audition for stuff. I didn't get booked, wow, because I
wasn't good. Yeah, I had to learn, you know what
I'm saying. I had to learn how to do this
process and not even the process of acting. First you
got to learn how to audition. Yeah, okay, you learn
how to audition, Then you got to learn how to act.
Then when you act, you got to learn how to
act this way, you know what I'm saying. That's a process.

Speaker 2 (01:09:40):
It's not practice makes perfect, it's perfect. Practice makes perfect
there you go, and.

Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
That takes time.

Speaker 3 (01:09:45):
Yeah, all right, baby girl, We hope that helped you out.
Lots of great advice today. This is a really good episode, y'all.
I really like listening letters because even though you yeah,
you guys spark the conversations of course when you write in,
and we love that. Thank you for letting us into
your world a bit and it helps us. I think
every time we build on conversations from listener letters to
learn more about ourselves and each other.

Speaker 2 (01:10:07):
So learn more about Trivial and we love your trip.

Speaker 3 (01:10:12):
All right, y'all. Keep writing into listen letters, y'all because
we really enjoy having them on the episodes. And sometimes
like this, we'll have a listening letter episodes. So if
we don't get to your listener to right away, chances
are at some point during the season we will. So
if you want to be featured as a listener letter,
be sure to email us at the Ellis Advice at
gmail dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:10:32):
That's t H E E L L I S A
d V I C E at Gmail.

Speaker 3 (01:10:37):
All Right, moment of truth time. We couple of covered.
We covered a couple of things today, so anyone have
any moment moments of truth based off of anything that
we've spoken about in any particular letter, or just something
overarching that you want to say.

Speaker 1 (01:10:50):
My mourning the truth is about listener letters, is that
I appreciate all of y'all realistically, because nobody really has
to get up here and tell their truth about their life.
We've done it, and now we've asked that our friends
come in and be included in the conversation, and they've
all been very open and vulnerable. Now I just want
to say thank you to y'all because y'all really didn't
have to. You know what I'm saying, Like, y'all both married,

(01:11:13):
your spouses aren't here to tell their perspective, but y'all
is still being open trouble, you're single, and you're being
very vulnerable about what you go through. Someone is going
to listen to these episodes and be like, yo, I
learned something because the perspective is different. So my moment
of truth is that I love y'all and I appreciate y'all.

Speaker 4 (01:11:33):
Those listeners who don't know what Davala is talking about
because I cut that whole portion of the side too.

Speaker 7 (01:11:43):
Great, that's hilarious, That's great, all right, y'all be sure
to follow us on Patreon if you have not yet subscribed,
so you can get exclusive access to the Ellis ever
After After show, as well as more exclusive Ellis family content.

Speaker 3 (01:11:56):
You can foindow us follow us on social media on Instagram.
Uh Ellis ever After is our handle. I'm Kadeen, I
am i am Davao.

Speaker 2 (01:12:04):
I'm Underscore Matt Ellis, and I'm Joshua Underscore Duwaye. You
can double click on my fix right there.

Speaker 5 (01:12:09):
I'm at Trims the Cool t ri I b b
Z the Cool on Everything And.

Speaker 1 (01:12:14):
If you're listening on Apple Podcast, be sure it's a
great review. Subscribe one three y'all want two three.

Speaker 4 (01:12:23):
Got Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted
by Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video,
Production by Joshua Dwyane and Matthew Ellis, Video editing by
Lashan Roe.

Speaker 1 (01:14:08):
Togona Togona

Speaker 3 (01:14:16):
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