The Artist's Way

What steps do you take to keep your creativity alive? In this episode, the Ellises and the crew discuss their own practices. Dead Ass. Watch the full video version early on Patreon! Go to https://Patreon.com/EllisEverAfter to see the After Show and more exclusive Ellis Ever After video content. And find us on social media at @EllisEverAfterPodcast, @khadeeniam and @iamdevale, @joshua_dwain @_matt.ellis, @tribbzthecool. And if you’re listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, review and subscribe.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Contrary to what everyone thinks, being an artist is extremely difficult.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Is there anyone that thinks it it's easy?

Speaker 3 (00:08):
A lot of people think it's That is actually a
fact now that you think about it. And as an artist,
I refuse to get caught up in the noise. I
want to say true to who I know I'm supposed
to be as an artist.

Speaker 4 (00:25):
I like that dead Ass.

Speaker 5 (00:27):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight
from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become
Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.

Speaker 3 (00:38):
Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It
was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.

Speaker 4 (00:43):
Be raw or but most apportly be us.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we,
and through it all, one thing has never changed. This
is a sea because we got a lot to talk about, all.

Speaker 1 (00:59):
Right, every time, I'm going to take you guys back
to the origin. The origin two thousand and I would
say two thousand and twelve, when I had retired from
the league.

Speaker 4 (01:17):
We had decided that we wanted.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
To get into TV film officially, I completely retired and everything,
and I wanted to start creating my own content because
I was tired of being gang member number one or
inmate number seven. Right, And I sat down with you
and I was like, yo, I want to start making
a social sitcom by my family, And he was just like,

(01:39):
absolutely not. But the reason why I want to go
back to the story is because I want to tell
people why I chose to use our family.

Speaker 4 (01:47):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
As an artist, you have to you have to create
art about what's important to you and at that moment,
and still in this moment now, family is the most
important thing.

Speaker 4 (01:57):
So I figured I would create.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
I would let my family, my wife, my kids, be
my muse and be able to create out of what
organically matters to me because I knew I would always
have a story and tell And the biggest thing about
being an artist is having an infinite story. And we'll
talk about what an infinite story means when we get back.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
And being infinitely inspired. Yes, right, yes, absolutely all right.
Karaoke time, you had a selection today, babe, Yes, because
I was just gonna sing, uh, I was gonna say
Usher my way, but then we butchered the last Usher
song we did for karaoke.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
It was you and I in unison.

Speaker 4 (02:33):
We did not butcher anything. We we said, we said right.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
We did sing the song, it was just the wrong song.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
I felt like I sounded goodes I didn't say butcher.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
When I say butcher, I mean that we sang the
completely wrong Usher song.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
In that moment, I was gonna say my way, though
you're my way. I had in my way. I like
it my way when I think what I say.

Speaker 4 (02:56):
We talked about this.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Around yours you're no good. It was my way.

Speaker 4 (03:02):
That was as fast as that was. When you're giving
us for karaoke.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
That's it because I wanted to split time with you, honey.
I wasn't trying to monopolize the entire karaoke time.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
Alright, I'm going to give you the song I want
to give because she bailed on me.

Speaker 4 (03:16):
This is how I stay relaxed.

Speaker 6 (03:19):
M right, get right.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
All right, Back away from the mic, Back away from
the mic.

Speaker 4 (03:51):
Thank you, Josh, my producer over there, Thank you Josh.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yes, because to me, it's about being zen in the
creative artist space. That's why I will not allow you
to get me out of my zenness with your distractions
of arguing about my way.

Speaker 4 (04:07):
I will still stays in.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
We'll find a way to pay these bills while you're
in your zell moment. Okay, your zen moments.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Oh no, that's not that's not how you see how
people meditating.

Speaker 4 (04:24):
That's your meditation.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
I was just trying to slip that in there. You
know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (04:28):
I'll be trying to slip.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
A little change. Don't neither, I'll be doing it. It
was a little change.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
Let's let's go pay some bills about I want. We
do that and we'll be back for no.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
Up, I'll be If you heard them footsteps in the background,
that's pops.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
We never hear footsteps. So mission big step, there comes
that step. I'm deliric, youngster.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
Excuse me, mister.

Speaker 7 (04:57):
Office, like that.

Speaker 4 (05:01):
Hot step. I'm n gangst Oh.

Speaker 7 (05:07):
Oh god Lord, yes, from yourself time. No more. But
when you gotta sing, you gotta sing.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
You know you gotta do when spirit moves you.

Speaker 7 (05:20):
Amen.

Speaker 8 (05:21):
So we got two opera no Ops. Today is kind
of serious, y'all know. I got to keep you abreast
on the the the recent political happening because we got
to stay informed. And this thing is kind of disturbing.
There's this company that was formed in Israel it's called
Paragon Solutions. So if you don't know, Israel is like
a really large hub for AI and technology companies. And

(05:46):
so there's this company called Paragon Solutions and they just
got into a contract with the US government that allows
ICE to be able to hack into any cell phone.
What now, if you saw earlier this year, maybe last year,
there were some targeted attacks in Lebanon that were done

(06:07):
by Israel where they've made these men's cell phones explode
and they just killed a bunch of people.

Speaker 4 (06:13):
Yeah, oh yes.

Speaker 5 (06:15):
You hear about that.

Speaker 8 (06:16):
So now I is getting access to this technology which
will let them hacken too anyone's phones. And if you've
heard about what's been going on. When people have been
coming back into the country from other countries, they'll sometimes
say you need to show us your social media, you
need to show us everything your phone, or they'll just
take your phone from you and go through it, which
is something they've been doing to Palestinians and Israel for

(06:38):
a long time. If you try to go through a checkpoint,
they'll take your phone. Or if you're visiting from another country,
if you saw the shell mode, they show.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
This yeah slick slick, Yeah, So I.

Speaker 7 (06:51):
Want to know.

Speaker 8 (06:51):
What do you think about this? Is this frightening as
frightening to you as it is to me?

Speaker 3 (06:55):
Yes, baby, absolute opinion. I mean no, that that's insane.
So pretty much they're able to control the cell phone
from wherever they're at. So my cell phone says you
can blow up right now?

Speaker 8 (07:06):
Well yeah maybe I don't know if yours can blow up,
but they can definitely see what's in it. And even
encrypted apps, so you know apps like WhatsApp or Signal
they are supposed.

Speaker 3 (07:18):
To That's how all of our islanders we communicate.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
That's what on the what'sapp.

Speaker 4 (07:23):
Because people communicate from different countries.

Speaker 8 (07:26):
Yeah, that's extremely Yeah, so even encrypted apps, they'll be
able to read.

Speaker 4 (07:31):
You know what's crazy, bro. One of my favorite movies
of all time is Nimated State.

Speaker 5 (07:35):
Right, so I'm surprised by any of this stuff.

Speaker 4 (07:38):
It doesn't surprise me.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
Enemated State what came out in like ninety six, and
they talked about how the government had access to use
cell phones and at the time cell phones didn't even
have AI capability, but this was ninety six. They could
tap into card cams, any camera, or any device. And
they've been telling us for over thirty years a day.
The Eagle Eye was anything. The fact that they have

(08:01):
this technology and they're saying, okay, we're using it now.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
It's scary art imitating line.

Speaker 9 (08:05):
I feel like they've always been using it. It's just
been confined to militaries.

Speaker 4 (08:09):
Facts.

Speaker 9 (08:09):
That's where most technology is confined for a long time
until they decide cool.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
I agree with that because if you listen, if you
are talking about anything around the device and then you pick.

Speaker 5 (08:21):
Up your phone, population.

Speaker 4 (08:23):
It populates immediately.

Speaker 8 (08:25):
And they've been denying for years that they are listening,
but they're definitely listening. It happens every time, Like nobody's
that stupid.

Speaker 4 (08:33):
Definitely listening, yes, And this is the truth.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
We all just need to take our devices, turn them off,
not sleep with our devices next to us, Like we
need to stop being so handicapped by the fact that
we need our device, because.

Speaker 4 (08:44):
All we you're doing is giving them access to us.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
I remember my my mom was telling me about this
with the easy pass. She's like, don't get no easy
pass and I was like why. She's like, now they're
gonna know where you go. You got an easy pass,
They're gonna know every place you go. And then my
dad said that you got a cell phone. They already
been Yeah, like this is a fact. This isn't new
termin data.

Speaker 4 (09:03):
Everything came out in the eighties and they were talking
about AI ultimately, even.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Like Clear with biometrics at the airport, you know, Clear
t s A checkpoints.

Speaker 7 (09:12):
They've been using.

Speaker 8 (09:15):
At the self checkout lanes at Target. Target has had Yeah,
those cameras that they have watching you at self checkout.
They're using facial recognition software. So if you've ever stolen
anything from Target, they know they're waiting for you to
get the five hundred dollars so that they prosecute you
for a felony.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Makes sense.

Speaker 3 (09:32):
Oh wow, they're probably watching you skin and not stand
certain items and stuff like that.

Speaker 5 (09:39):
They're not going after petty larsses.

Speaker 4 (09:41):
They wouldn't on the store. That's a good thing. Did
you say that though, they'll let people get to five
hundred then have you Yeah, your.

Speaker 2 (09:47):
Own grave with cameras dig your own grave.

Speaker 4 (09:52):
Is We're not surprised.

Speaker 8 (09:53):
Yeah, And also like I used to be like, you know,
it's cool to have your own FBI agent. Like if
something were to happen to me having an easy pass
or having my cell phone be able to track my
movement so that people may be able to find who
I was with or where I went. That to me
is a little bit more innocuous than the government saying

(10:13):
if you disparage the president, because what they're doing is
bringing back that I forget what it's called, but there
were laws back in Yeah. Yeah, so if you compared
the president, right, or if you say something against the government,
now they're going.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
To try to use that against you.

Speaker 5 (10:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (10:30):
Yeah, that's that's the issue that I'm having, is that
we are up against like free speech and free.

Speaker 10 (10:36):
Patriot don't matter to me.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
But I've also heard even with Chad GPT, they're like,
don't give personal information to it, don't ask them persons
anything like that, because they're like, you can in turn
had that used against you somehow.

Speaker 5 (10:52):
It could.

Speaker 8 (10:54):
But people on chat GPT are freaked out. They got
they they marry and the chat GPT chicks.

Speaker 9 (11:00):
What in relationships that's been happening. People been in love
with anything that's going to give him companionship.

Speaker 4 (11:07):
That's not a real human You see her, yeah, Phoenix, Yeah,
I never seen her. Yes, Okay, I took that out.

Speaker 11 (11:18):
I just wanted to say one thing, and then from
my memory, the the I d F said, the set
walkie talkies to those officials or those foreign countries.

Speaker 4 (11:31):
To blow up. It wasn't the wealth their cell phone.

Speaker 11 (11:34):
So they sent them out like years in advance, because
not that that that's what's nerve wracking, because if you
have a phone in your pocket and they deem you
an enemy of the state, it's like, make his phone
blow up and now he's gone, and we can say
it was.

Speaker 1 (11:46):
Amount of manufacturing issue with iPhones.

Speaker 4 (11:49):
That's scary.

Speaker 10 (11:49):
It was crazy though.

Speaker 11 (11:50):
They did it all at once, and they had these
cell phones for years and months, so they were just
giving them the walkie talkies. They were just giving them out,
just giving them out, and people just collect them. You'll
get your last year. I get mine like last week
and it all blew up at the same time.

Speaker 4 (12:05):
That's nuts. That's nuts. Yeah.

Speaker 8 (12:08):
Wow, Pay attention, you know, pay closer attention. And don't
talk too much on the internet. Here's another thing that
I saw while we do a podcast.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
Don't talk too much about the government on the interne
You can't like patriot. You can't all patriots. You can
It's crazy that this is the world we live in
in twenty twenty five.

Speaker 8 (12:28):
No, I guess it's it's even more important than ever
to know your rights in this country because they're being
infringed upon every day.

Speaker 4 (12:35):
Yes.

Speaker 8 (12:35):
Right.

Speaker 7 (12:36):
So something else that I saw on the internet was.

Speaker 8 (12:40):
A like a meme, I guess, blog kind of thing
that said uncertainty is a sign that you're in alignment.
And this person basically said that sometimes when you're lacking
clarity and your decisions, it reveals that you're stepping into
a state of flow because flow state and certainty cannot
coexist because the step into flow is to surrender all certainty. So,

(13:04):
since we're talking about how to be an artist, I
think that the artistic practice, the creative practice, is oftentimes trying.

Speaker 7 (13:13):
Things out, not being sure what will work. So I
want to know your opinion on this.

Speaker 4 (13:17):
I agree a thousand percent. You can't flow with certainty.
Certainty is rigid, right, Art is not rigid.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
There's a saying that says that you never you never
complete a painting, you just stop working on it. Right,
You flow until you stop working on it means, which
means there's something that can always be worked on. When
I think about art, it's the same thing with script writing.

Speaker 4 (13:41):
I just did the Old Gray Mayor premiere at Bronze
Lens and a writer asked Courtney, at what point is.

Speaker 1 (13:49):
Your script finished? And he said, my script is finished
when we're done shooting, which means we've been writing and
writing and writing. Then you get to set. And this
is what I think is a iortant when you talk
about the surrender of flow. You write something, then you
get to set, and when you get to the set,
how I wrote it doesn't make sense depending on the setting,
Like it just doesn't make sense.

Speaker 4 (14:10):
Let's change this. Then you change it.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
Then the artist, the actor comes in, uh, based on
their blocking, this would work, so you fix it. That's
the flow of artistry, rather than being so rigid and saying,
you know what, I need this whole experience to fit
what I thought. Let me go in there and surrender
everything and see if I can make the thought fit
the experience.

Speaker 11 (14:30):
So that's what I get from that, and I think
that way an artist's a thought that that, like scripts
and stories, happened in three phases when you're writing it,
when you're shooting it. In an editing process, it's never
really going to end until you say yeah, so you're
done editing, that's it.

Speaker 5 (14:45):
Yeah, until you release it, because you'll go back. And
that's true, that's.

Speaker 4 (14:49):
True, that's true.

Speaker 3 (14:50):
It also makes you think of the flow and the
uncertainty that there is in just even like your body.
I as an actor and using your instrument, it's like
it's never done, Like there's nothing e we're done, like
Deval and I recently, you know, embarking on getting back
into acting classes and keeping our instrument sharp. But also
like working the instrument which is your body, which is
your breath, those things require a certain kind of flow.

(15:13):
It can't be rigid because if you're tapping into human
emotion and the way of life, you know, and trying
to immerse yourself into like a story or a character,
it's gonna require you to be malleable. Like you can't
go into it with too many preconceived you know, roadblocks
about things you are and aren't going to do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, I think that's why with artists is so important
to find a muse that goes naturally with what you
do every single day, right, because now you don't have
to be rigid. For me, people say, people ask all
this time, like, man, how do you capture these funny
moments with your family, like is it scripted?

Speaker 4 (15:45):
Is it not scripted?

Speaker 5 (15:46):
Is it this?

Speaker 1 (15:47):
And I said, well, you know what, when you when
you love art, and your art happens to be around
the thing that you love, it happens naturally. I wake
up and I just see moments and I capture them.
And of course you can edit cut. You know, you
may tell a child say this, don't say it that way.
But the fact that you have something already that you
love so much creates that flow that you can actually

(16:09):
create something and begin to monetize it because it becomes
so organic that is natural. I think that's what people
need to realize about art. When you try to monetize art, right,
and the whole goal of monetization for art, you can
never monetize it.

Speaker 4 (16:21):
It never works that way.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
Art only works and it's only mon monetizable if it
invokes a reaction or emotion from someone, and that never
happens if the whole goal is to make money, like
the goal has to be to tell a story or
deliver a message. Once you do that as an artist
and enough people get that message, then it becomes monetizable.

Speaker 8 (16:43):
I think there is one great artist who was able
to monetize his art for the sake of monetizing, and
that's Keith Hearing.

Speaker 7 (16:51):
I think he started is keyth Hearing.

Speaker 8 (16:53):
Either he was a kind of like street artist, graffiti
kind of artist. It back in the eighties in New
York and he would do these like paintings of a baby,
a big baby that's like an outline in New York,
like all over the subways, and so people would get excited.
It still did evoke a feeling from people because they
would get excited to kind of see one in the wild.

(17:17):
And then he opened a souvenir shop where his art
was like all over T shirts and mugs, and people
thought it was cheapening the idea of fine art, but
he was making art accessible to everybody because now that
people had recognized his art as art.

Speaker 7 (17:35):
Now most people at this time living in New York City,
they can't afford art.

Speaker 4 (17:40):
They're young, they don't have enough money.

Speaker 8 (17:42):
But they could go to Keith Hearing souvenir shop and
buy a T shirt with art on it, and now
they have artists something.

Speaker 7 (17:48):
Yeah. Yeah, So I think that that is one thing.

Speaker 8 (17:50):
Also, like with the flow thing, we came up with
the idea for this episode because of a book called
The Artist's Way. It's twelve week guide in order to
help people get unstuck and return to their creative practice.
And something that she, the author, always talks about is

(18:11):
kind of being curious, evoking your curiosity. So there's several
activities that you do throughout the twelve weeks that help
to clear your mind and to help you stay curious.
So one of those things is to take yourself on
an artist date. And it's like, you spend three hours alone.
You go by yourself, don't go with anybody, and you
do something that's creative. It doesn't even have to be

(18:31):
related to your creative practice, but something that is going
to evoke your curiosity, that's going to evoke your creativity
and to help you kind of see your creativity from
a different lens, which I think is really dope.

Speaker 4 (18:46):
Has a question. Do y'all think everybody is an artist
in some way? Oh?

Speaker 10 (18:49):
Yeah, the book talks about that.

Speaker 5 (18:50):
She does.

Speaker 11 (18:52):
It says that everyone's an artist. I do think so
as children, we show that we're artists in everyone does
doodles and being creative with y be toys and blocks
or whatever. I think we just lose that over time.

Speaker 4 (19:07):
I'm about to say you.

Speaker 1 (19:08):
Said it's encourage. You said we lose it over time,
Matt set encourage or discourage.

Speaker 3 (19:12):
I think it's something that we all have within us.
But we are in a capitalist world where it's like
people want to now take a practical approach to being
able to sustain themselves, So it's not customary. I think
that people are pushed into the arts because you kind
of have to create your way, and if art is subjective,
you may not always have a job or always be
able to make money off of your art. So someone

(19:34):
who may be incline to have some of a creative
edge may then feel like, you know what, I have
to hang this up because I need to do something
more practical.

Speaker 1 (19:43):
I think people lose their identity because they're not allowed
to express themselves artistically.

Speaker 4 (19:47):
For example, you have a young kid who likes to draw, Right,
what are you doing this for? Go write your books?

Speaker 1 (19:54):
You know, think about it a kid wants, even if
it's graffiti, even if it's something like they staged block.

Speaker 4 (20:00):
Parents often tell kids find something.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
To do that's going to translate into something monetary, right,
And I think a lot of people.

Speaker 4 (20:10):
We all have that artistic nature.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
But when you constantly getting beat down and that's not
going to turn into anything financial or.

Speaker 4 (20:17):
Won't be lucrative, you lose that.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
And then when you lose that, you go into robot mode,
which is, let me go get into a career that's
going to get me money, and you find yourself lost
because you're not intact with your artist side.

Speaker 4 (20:30):
But you know why the artist side is so important.
It's your voice.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
Everybody has something to say or something they want to
say or express or express. So when you when you
suppress someone's form of expression, you have in turn suppressed
their voice.

Speaker 7 (20:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (20:46):
Something that talks about in the book is how we
are literally creations of the greatest artists of all time.
He talks about God a lot in this book, and
God is the great creator, and so the fact that
you are creating by the great Creator makes you inherently.

Speaker 7 (21:02):
A creator yourself.

Speaker 8 (21:04):
Absolutely exactly, And we're living amongst the greatest creation that
has ever happened right here in this universe.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
Absolutely.

Speaker 9 (21:12):
A lot of my images, a lot of my images
come from going on photo walks, just going on the walk.
I don't know what I'm not intentionally I'm about to
go find an amazing image. Just I'm outside and grateful,
be alive, I'm experiencing the day. Whatever comes to me
comes to me. I'm gonna just capture what I said.

Speaker 11 (21:31):
It's literally the equivalent to not having a thought, but
just having a paint brush and a canvas, or having
a pencil and a piece of paper and just like doodling.
Like I think that's exactly what you're.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
Absolutely well even think about it now, there's been like
a shit, not a shift, but like an influx of
people doing like sipping paints, like when people get together
actually are able to like you know, congregate, socialized, but
also express themselves artistically. Adult coloring books, you know, color
by numbers, like you find that some people tend to
back into that as a way to destress because of

(22:03):
all of the monotony of life.

Speaker 1 (22:05):
At TPS, there was a young lady was telling me
that they did a sip and paint right, and of
course it was color by numbers, but people got a
chance to choose their own colors.

Speaker 4 (22:15):
And there was a psychiatrist or a psychologist, I.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
Don't know the difference exactly, but was there and was
explaining to people based on the colors they picked. They
could tell the mood and what was going on in
their lives based on the colors. And she was like,
it was transformative because you've had two people from two
different walks of life used almost the same exact color palette,
and then when they got a chance to talk about
what they were going through, you realize that their lives

(22:39):
were similar in their emotions. You know, people who used
brighter colors were happier going through something. I just got engaged,
I just got a new job. Then it was like
people who used darker colors or colors that were duller.

Speaker 4 (22:52):
What happened? I lost somebody.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
And it's amazing how if you just take someone out
of their consistent element put them in a place to
be creative, How they can be creative without even realizing
that they're telling a story. And that's part of the
human connection that I think so many of us are missing,
especially in the digital space. So much stuff is being
force fed to us that you don't even feel like
you get a chance to be creative, because even if

(23:16):
you do something creative and you put it out there,
people just shit on it. It's so true, and that's
what takes people away from wanting to be creative because
it's way why y'all.

Speaker 4 (23:24):
Shitting on my thing?

Speaker 1 (23:26):
And it's like, you got to understand as an artist
that their thing is sacred to you. You're going to
get eight billion different opinions and all of those opinions
are going to beat those people's versions.

Speaker 4 (23:36):
Of what they say about your art.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
That's why I said say yeah, and that was to
go that you literally directly led into what my SoundBite was.

Speaker 3 (23:43):
It's like, I'm not going to allow people's opinions and
comments and whatnot interfere with me as an artist, because
if it does, it's going to completely deter me from
doing the one thing that I feel like is a
gift that God has given me. So yeah, And I
tell people all the time when they ask about just
even content creating people who want to get into that space,
they're way devout. And I have been able to sustain

(24:04):
all of this. It's because we are literally organically doing
all the things that we do on a regular basis.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
We just capture it.

Speaker 3 (24:11):
Like Matt can tell you all the time, a lot
of the times that he catches, you know, whether it's
content for Patreon or even just photos like we hashtagged
it fly on the wall. And then I look back
at the photos Matt has taken and a lot of
it is from like a photojournalistic standpoint where it tells
a story, and I'm just like, man, this candid story
that he's telling with this photo. There's so many things

(24:32):
that you can draft from this. So continue to live
in that space of being authentic and then you can
carry on. You never see the valain I really jumping
on trends and fads and things like that, because those
last for what a forty eight hour cycle, and.

Speaker 7 (24:43):
The next y'all do a prank video. I quit.

Speaker 4 (24:49):
That's not that's not that's not our ministry at all.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
And the DM y'all should try this trend, try this prank,
do this. The kay one guy had a prank. I
was like, dude, if I ever tried to do this decay,
y'all might see me. First of all, y'all know she
don't she don't play with supernatural things, all right, like
we don't believe in duppies, but but still it's like,
you know, don't play with supernatural. This guy did a

(25:14):
whole prank where his wife came home after date and
out with her friends, and he had all of the
kids going hidden somewhere, right, I'm gonna try to find
it on here. And what he did was he had
a whole bunch of things set up like a haunted house.
Could you imagine me doing that? That cane with these
guns in his house?

Speaker 4 (25:34):
She would.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
And we even told the boys, were like, once you
get to a certain age where you're coming in and
out this house, announce yourself.

Speaker 4 (25:43):
Announce yourself in and out.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
He walks in here, I'm like, who's that? Because, honey, what.

Speaker 10 (25:52):
You should do if you want to just put a
whole pot of food in the fridge.

Speaker 4 (25:58):
Put a whole pot of food.

Speaker 5 (26:00):
It was stupid.

Speaker 2 (26:01):
Why I can't tell you you real video didn't share
the video of the girl.

Speaker 5 (26:05):
That was your brain, that's glitch, your brain.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
It was like this much food left in the party.
She's fast out and she dropped her knees. It was great.

Speaker 4 (26:34):
She got magnies made that video. I don't know who
that lady was, and she was sad.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
She got a little body go on.

Speaker 10 (26:45):
She's a trainey videos like that though, Yeah, she'd be
yelling at that.

Speaker 2 (26:49):
Man doesn't recording it. It was great, she said, but
your brain does glitch. Your brain. I can't wait to
say that to somebody in your real life. Your brain,
that's glitch to her, he said.

Speaker 4 (27:01):
She said, it's on door dash, right, He said, so
who pay for DoorDash? She said.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
That she had the pot cover like Catain.

Speaker 4 (27:13):
That's what it would look like if I pranked you.
That's what it would look like.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
Will be funny, fun Yeah, so I agree, triple quit
if we ever do a prank.

Speaker 7 (27:23):
But I also think so.

Speaker 8 (27:24):
In this book too, she talks about there's one practice
you have to do every day called morning pages.

Speaker 9 (27:30):
Sorry, before you even get to that, I want to
double back to what you were saying, like you got
to push through like what people are saying, because sometimes
it's not just friends, it be on family. Like my
mother did it to me by accident. She don't realize
she did it to me. She introduced me to the arts,
but she's school school, school, school school. When I pushed
away from school and dived into the arts.

Speaker 4 (27:50):
It was like she was upset.

Speaker 5 (27:51):
Absolutely, that's school.

Speaker 4 (27:55):
Photograph because your family was the same way music. What
about you?

Speaker 11 (27:59):
It wasn't like that, It wasn't. Yeah, my mother pushed
me to arts, but she just let me pursue whatever
I wanted to. So she was just like, when I
decided to leave corporate and then do photographer full time,
She's just like, thing's gonna work.

Speaker 10 (28:12):
You know, it's on you. But she didn't push me.

Speaker 11 (28:15):
She did push my daughter away though. She was like,
I want to be I want to be a photographer,
and she was like, nope, you better be a doctor.
I'm like, but that was your that was your mom.

Speaker 10 (28:26):
That's my mom, same same person, just two different people.

Speaker 4 (28:29):
You know what's funny.

Speaker 1 (28:29):
Though they said about West Indian mothers mother, west Indian
mothers raised their.

Speaker 4 (28:34):
Daughters and loved their sons.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
I've heard that and think, think about your mom with
you and Sakari, y'all can't do nothing right, but Christan
can't do nothing wrong.

Speaker 3 (28:44):
So true, that's absolutely right. But my mom didn't support
me when I know, like I made your mom the
school of communication. I think because she also knew how
difficult the nursing field could be and she was so
drained by it that she was like, girl, if you
could do something else, do it.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
My dad was like, so, how much money you're going
to make? And when you punch in your clock.

Speaker 10 (29:02):
Who is YouTube?

Speaker 4 (29:03):
Mister?

Speaker 2 (29:04):
Say you mister YouTube does pay? Or who does? Who does?

Speaker 10 (29:08):
You got to punch into YouTube.

Speaker 3 (29:10):
Because we talked about the videos being on YouTube and
we make money from YouTube. And he's like, so this
guy YouTube, he does cut the check for you? Or
like how does it work?

Speaker 9 (29:19):
Okay, Eventually she started, My mom started supporting everything. But
at first it was like you have to kind.

Speaker 4 (29:26):
Of it's hard.

Speaker 11 (29:27):
It's like you gotta travel for a lot of a
lot of family. They don't understand what the road takes,
but they don't understand that. We also don't know. As
an artist, we don't know. I think it's it's the
things that's innate in you that you have to do.
I'm just gonna have to go down this path. So
I understand parents who give you any flag or you know,
say like this probably shouldn't be the way you're going

(29:48):
as an artist. I understand the mindset of mindset because
it's like I don't know anybody who's done this before, right.

Speaker 10 (29:55):
I know that there's guaranteed money being.

Speaker 11 (29:57):
A nerd, so there's guaranteed money, so you're doing possible job. Yeah,
so I kind of get that, But how about.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
If you have a kid that's in the very early
stages of life. For example, you know Cooda loves blocks,
he loves building, so I might be able to say, Okay,
if you really love it that much, maybe you want
to be like an architect, like it can translate that
creativity into something that's lucrative.

Speaker 8 (30:18):
Yes, you do say, I have heard someone say that
when you remember your earliest interest, that is kind of
what your purpose is.

Speaker 7 (30:27):
I forget who I heard say.

Speaker 4 (30:28):
That they can you stand the rain?

Speaker 1 (30:31):
Part of it was I played a character named Sean
where he wrote a book called The World Ambassador of Dreams,
And the whole premise of the movie is that when
you're a child, your earliest ideas and thoughts of who
you want to be is who you're supposed to be.
And we spend our whole life being judged and pushed
away from conditioning to be a condition. That's literally what

(30:53):
you said, That's what the movie is about.

Speaker 4 (30:54):
Yeah, so I think.

Speaker 7 (30:55):
Most people have the bigger problem that a lot of
people have.

Speaker 8 (30:59):
It's not just like that outside critiques that you get
from family, the people telling you to do something else,
but it's also your inner critic. A lot of us
think that, you know, we can't survive on our art,
or our art is not good enough. We need to
have our nine to five, We need to have our
plan A. And art becomes your plan B and so,
and it's not even a plan B. It becomes maybe

(31:20):
like an extra curricular thing, yeah, just for fun or
on the side, or for yourself. And so in the
book the there's a daily activity you have to do,
and it's morning Pages, and you have to sit down
for thirty minutes. The first thing you do in the morning,
sit down for thirty minutes and write, and it's supposed
to be like three pages. And it literally does only
take thirty minutes for you to write three pages. And

(31:43):
you don't think about what you're gonna write. You don't
have to try to make it poetic. You just write
whatever's in your head. And you start to notice that
what's coming out is your inner critic. And so basically
what this practice helps you to do is it helps
you to ground yourself and release your inner critic from
being living in your mind for the day.

Speaker 4 (32:00):
I think that's dope. I think that's dope.

Speaker 2 (32:01):
It's like meditation, Yeah, exactly, it's the form of getting
it out.

Speaker 8 (32:04):
It's literally one of the best forms of meditation that
I've been able to practice is waking up in the
morning and just emptying that, you know, any any kinds
of negative thoughts that could be just sitting dormant, waiting
to fuck up your day, you know, or like make
you procrastinate, or make you self or think twice before

(32:27):
you post that thing on Instagram or before you you know,
write that poem you were thinking about, or whatever it
is that your creative practice is you just like dump
that the first thing in the morning in your day
just goes by so much smoother. So I would recommend
if you got thirty minutes in the morning.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
Try not just artists who people general help you life, don't.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
I don't always do it first thing in the morning,
but we typically like to ground outside first thing in
the morning and we'll go out and meditate. But even
when I get with my fellas and I smoke, you know,
sometimes they say smoking brings paranoia.

Speaker 4 (33:00):
I don't think it's paranoia.

Speaker 1 (33:02):
Right, you know what I think it is smoking creates
for me a very introspective state, and then I start
to think about all of those fears, all of those
things that are sitting dormant, and you become paranoid because
those voices become very loud in your head. And I'll
never forget when we want tour. And I had to
do the backflip whenever I was smoked, all the voices.

(33:25):
What if you fall, but if you're break your neck,
you can go viral. You got four kids. And then
I started asking myself, why are these thoughts even in
my head? If I want to do something? Why do
these thoughts live dormant until I'm going to relax and
then they come up? And what I started doing, Like
you said, I didn't write them down, but I actually
started to express them and I say them to people.

Speaker 4 (33:45):
I talked to Matt, I talked to Josh, I talked
to you.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
And what I do is when those thoughts come up,
I no longer try to hide them and act like
I tell the truth. I told Matt and them the
other day when it came to football and basketball and Jackson,
I had a dad fear. We were smoke, and I said,
my biggest fear is that my son is gonna work
his tail off and be the greatest at everything that
he wants to do, but he may only be five eleven.

(34:10):
He's going to be disappointed playing basketball because if you're
not six', five you're considered. Small and if you're five
eleven and you put your heart into, something that disappointment
could drive you to a place Where i've watched it
with so many other, athletes and rather than say it
to my son or let it sit, DORMANT i just
told them AND i got different perspectives from, them which
actually dulled my, fear because when you hear a different

(34:33):
perspective and it's LIKE i even think about it like,
that then it's the, way why AM i even think
about it to?

Speaker 4 (34:38):
HIM i didn't take him Because matt and And jay
was just like withde he's five.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
Eleven if he's going to be great at playing, basketball,
right there are five eleven people who are. Great but
the fact that he's playing football and track and has a,
dad even if he doesn't go to THE, nba he
still has so many other.

Speaker 4 (34:54):
Things AND i was, like you know, What you're.

Speaker 1 (34:56):
Right most of those dudes that had those struggles didn't
have someone in their life to explain it and what
those struggles are going to Be like, me explaining it
to my, friends and in them telling me reminded me
that it's not only just. Me my son could also
go to my friends to talk to. Them so sometimes
it's good to, meditate find out what your fears, are
let it out in your, art let it out with your,
friends let it all, out you.

Speaker 7 (35:18):
Know, yeah, YEAH i think.

Speaker 8 (35:19):
Too it can be hard sometimes for people to even
know what they're afraid. Of sometimes you just feel like
you have a. Block you just feel, stuck you know
What i'm, Saying and, you, yeah just as a creative
and you have to do something to try to get it.
Out and sometimes just just writing without, thinking without you,
know trying to make sense of. It because when you're
talking to, somebody you want to be able to communicate

(35:41):
clearly what you're actually. Feeling but when you're, writing just
keeping it to. Yourself you can write anything on the.
Page it doesn't have to make, sense but it'll start
to make sense to.

Speaker 3 (35:49):
You what about the artist, rut BECAUSE i Know i've
encountered so many artists from various different like spaces that they're,
in whether it's, television, film whether it's, painting whether it's,
yeah in my nail. Text sometimes they're just, like, Man
i'm just not feeling Like i'm in a creative space right.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
Now i'm having like a creative. Roadblock do you guys
ever feel like? That how do you get through? It
is like a, burnout you?

Speaker 3 (36:10):
Think or is it just having to re position yourself
or is it tried to be reinspired or tapping into
what is your new? Inspiration have you guys had roadblocks like?

Speaker 5 (36:20):
That, Absolutely i've had.

Speaker 9 (36:23):
That BUT i think those things come on, purpose because
that's when you start making great art again that you resonate.
With you take, yeah when those times, happen embrace it
because you don't know what's happening that you can create
out of that.

Speaker 1 (36:36):
MOMENT i think that goes back to a triple set
about you can't be so rigid you're in a. Block
sometimes you got to sit, still sit still and what
is the word meditate so that you can find out
where the flow is going to come. From sometimes as,
artists we become so rigid with this work that, worked that,

(36:56):
worked and now it's no longer, art you, know it's
Just i'm following the steps THAT i know, worked and
then you get a block because those steps worked before
and now it's not.

Speaker 4 (37:05):
Working you.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
Know it happens to people on social media all the.
Time Kevin stage talked about. This you post a video
and it goes, viral so you're, like, ah at. Work
then you post another video and it goes.

Speaker 4 (37:15):
Viral this is my.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
Thing then you posting those same videos and they're no
longer going, viral and you're, Like i'm kind of in a.

Speaker 4 (37:23):
Rut it's, like, no you're not in a. Rut you
don't choose what goes. Viral exactly What i'm.

Speaker 1 (37:27):
Saying there's so many variables and what that You you
could have the same seven different platforms and they go
viral on, TikTok not go viral On, facebook viral On,
instagram not, viral you know What i'm.

Speaker 3 (37:39):
Saying and as an, artist it's very it's a very
slippery slope to gauge your success based off.

Speaker 10 (37:45):
For that that is you should ever do?

Speaker 11 (37:47):
It, YEAH i think that's the craziest, thing because to be,
fair when you're creating, art you're literally creating art initially for.
Yourself you're the first person that's going to consume this.
Artwork once you put it, out you can't do anything with,
it so to say my art isn't this or that
because of what someone else's opinion is is the most
ludicrous thing.

Speaker 5 (38:08):
That you can ever.

Speaker 4 (38:08):
Do it's a mental, illness, yes and it.

Speaker 11 (38:11):
Is it, Is AND i, THINK i, mean my perspective
is a little bit different BECAUSE i started my art
journey drawing right and it was no social media WHEN
i did. THIS i started drawing for my own self
AND i would show my, Friends i'll show my, PARENTS
i show my siblings or.

Speaker 10 (38:26):
Whatever BUT i have to be comfortable with What i'm seeing.

Speaker 11 (38:30):
Myself and sometimes the rut isn't AND i can't base
it off of what everyone else. Sees but sometimes my
rut it's it's a transformative place to.

Speaker 10 (38:39):
Be you've been drawing the same thing for a, year all,
right what we're going to do?

Speaker 4 (38:43):
Now?

Speaker 11 (38:44):
RIGHT i think it's great to also draw inspiration from other,
people not necessarily comparing, yourself because that's what we don't
want to.

Speaker 10 (38:50):
Do but cob but you can collaborate to it however
you want to do, IT i.

Speaker 11 (38:55):
Think but it's seeing what how, like how other people
approach what they do can be very inspiring for an
artist to just broadening horizons because art ultimately is about
your own personal, growth so how you see the. World,
Right SO i think the red thing, is LIKE i,
said Like matt, SAYS i think you should embrace. It
it's something that's you're going to burst something new out

(39:18):
of that sort of like gray area in your in your.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
Process but it's a necessary one for. SURE i think
you think you touched a good point on everybody not
enjoying your. ART i think artists need to realize that.
You first of, all you don't say you're artists because
you do something like a PAIN i, Drew i'm an, actor.

Speaker 4 (39:39):
Photographer that's not everybody has artists in.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
Them if you, create Like tripple, said if you're, creative
you're an.

Speaker 4 (39:46):
Artist and all of us come from the. Creators so
we're all, creatives.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
RIGHT i think a lot of us suppress our creativity
because we fear that people.

Speaker 4 (39:53):
Don't like what we want to.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
Create but the mental illness is if you like what you,
create that's all ultimately why you're supposed to. Create and
when you suppress your creativity because other people may not
like what, create you've ultimately suppressed your identity and now
you sit there with no identity and.

Speaker 2 (40:12):
That's stifling in. Itself that's what people going.

Speaker 10 (40:14):
Through you almost putting your own roadblocks in that don't
need to be.

Speaker 4 (40:19):
There mm.

Speaker 9 (40:20):
Hmm, yeah but you said something else that is good
because you started as. SKETCHING a lot of creatives and
artists start in a different field of art and then
transition to something. Else, originally WHEN i was a, KID
i was doing piano. Lessons about ten years LATER i
turned into.

Speaker 4 (40:35):
A drum, DRUMS i.

Speaker 5 (40:36):
Remember after that it became a. Photographer so creativity isn't one.

Speaker 11 (40:41):
Way, yeah it's not a linear. Thing like your artist
isn't just one. THING i think as like as the book,
says and you, know we're from the great. CREATOR i
think a lot of times we pigeonhole ourselves into the
areas that we can see where we can make. Money
but as a, photographer as a person who started, drawing

(41:01):
who then became a, photographer who then wants to be
a film, director film, FILMMAKER i prided myself on knowing
for a fact that my art isn't linear like that
is the driving force to me to when there's doubt
that things that come into me to say. Pause but
then things that come to my mind that, says, uh,
well can you really do? It like can you do

(41:23):
what you see other people? Do and it's, like, YO
i can do mad. Things, Bro i'm not just doing
The god didn't make me to be a photographer THAT
i do, know, Right like, you you have to know
that the thing that you're using is just the. Medium
god don't make me do a job like that you
said to be a photography, right it. Is it is

(41:44):
the medium That i'm using to express my artistic. Talents,
absolutely that is. It absolutely.

Speaker 4 (41:52):
Save that one in that you, said moment the. TRUTH
i think That god.

Speaker 3 (41:59):
Can't create.

Speaker 4 (41:59):
Us you, KNOW i just it came off the. TOP
i don't know WHERE i heard.

Speaker 6 (42:03):
It but.

Speaker 3 (42:07):
That speaks to you saying that There's god Like god
in all of. Us so it's the same thing with
the creative creativity in.

Speaker 4 (42:12):
Us creativity like all of, us all of, us.

Speaker 2 (42:14):
We all exhibit it and have it in some.

Speaker 9 (42:16):
Way i'm saying you're not a creative as. Well there's
a lot of people who Say i'm not a creative
when they're around other. Artists don't put that title on.
Yourself that, is you're an artist in your own way
and maybe through flowers or. Whatever you can create and
express your art in your own. Way it doesn't have
to be one of the typical ways that people typically
become an, artist which is to make.

Speaker 4 (42:37):
Money let's be, real, Right currency was created by.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
Man, right So god would never create you to have
a job because it was currency was created by. Us
say there was no, currency what would be your purpose
as a. Human it would be to, create, right to
share your experiences with other.

Speaker 4 (42:57):
Humans it's safe to say that every human was created
with the ability to, create, Right so we all have
to like sitting at. It but you, KNOW i am a.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
Creative that's why it's important that you say. That you can't,
say just BECAUSE i don't get paid to, Create i'm
not a.

Speaker 4 (43:11):
Creative, no you are a.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
Creative and the minute you start saying to you If
i'm not a, creative you're losing part of your identity
as a. Human that's the BIG i got my moment of.
Truth don't steal, It. Josh you know you like to
steal moment of.

Speaker 4 (43:23):
Truth my.

Speaker 10 (43:24):
BAD i won't do it. Again.

Speaker 5 (43:25):
Jee there's another good. Book the name of the Book.

Speaker 9 (43:29):
Artists but there's another, Book The Creative, act a way
of being By Rick rubin talks about the same principles
and a lot of. It it's just guiding you how
to how to just, be the way to, go how
to go through life and all the art that you
want to. Express all those things will come to you after.
You it's still for a moment like that good.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
Stuff n'st little. Gems we had this episode especially for
people who always. That we always get messages from people
who are either into the arts wanting to start having.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
Apprehensions SO i hope you got some tips tricks.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
Today All, right, y'all let's take a quick break and
we are going to get back to listener letters or
get into it rather stick.

Speaker 2 (44:06):
Around all, right we're.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
Back you may take this, one, baby go for. It all,
right let's get. Money thank you for what you guys.
Do your podcast is truly. Inspiring AND i just finished
reading y'all's book And what's beyond. Empowering thank you so.
Much y'all's podcast keep me, pushing especially when life be.
Lifeing regarding the purpose, PODCASTS i go by a. Chirp
i'm always spreading words of, encouragement always, happy always making people,

(44:42):
laugh even when internally dealing with my own. SHIT i
know my purpose is being a therapist for people's. Vaults
being a therapist or people's. Vaults everyone in big, capitals
from family to, friends to coworkers to, randoms they openly
come to me and ask for, advice openly tell me
their deep secrets and. TRAUMAS i guess therapists is written
on my forehead, lol or it's my non judgmental approach

(45:05):
and just keeping it real. Attitude my hubby is always,
like you got to start charging for these therapy. Sessions
your homegirls keep asking for me and honestly don't do.
IT i honestly don't do it for the money or
even really wanted. To it's just part of me and
wanted to listen to people's issues and help them through.
It but Sometimes i'm, exhausted exhausted of hearing their issues
and exhausted of carrying, it even THOUGH i know it
got nothing to do with. Me it's just WHO i.

(45:27):
AM i, care and WHEN i care or love for,
SOMEONE i care and love. Hard AND i sit back
and wonder what about? Me what about my?

Speaker 4 (45:35):
Issues who CAN i vent? To what about my traumas and?
Demons i'm here pouring into everyone but who is going
to pour into?

Speaker 1 (45:42):
Me everyone comes asking for, advice but no one comes
and asks How i'm doing this being the main reason
WHY i didn't go on to taking my state examine
becoming clinical psychologists because after giving therapy to inmates in
an internship, PROGRAM i said it was too much for.
Me so coming on to, Y'all so coming to, y'all
how DO i keep fulfilling my purpose of being the

(46:04):
chirp and being everyone shoulder to cry on without my glass?

Speaker 4 (46:07):
Overflowing?

Speaker 1 (46:08):
Again thank you for y'all always keeping it. Real my
husband AND i love your podcast and look up to
you guys as a.

Speaker 4 (46:13):
Couple wishing you guys blessings. Always thank you so much.

Speaker 5 (46:17):
For this.

Speaker 7 (46:19):
Heavy.

Speaker 4 (46:19):
Ass, Boundaries, yes.

Speaker 7 (46:22):
Bound my favorite definition of.

Speaker 8 (46:26):
BOUNDARIES a person Named princess Him hill says that boundaries
are the distance at WHICH i can love you and.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
Myself come on a moment of, troop that's a really say,
again boundaries.

Speaker 8 (46:40):
Are the distance at WHICH i can love you and myself.
Simultaneously and that's what she. Says it's like she's wearing
this as a badge of honor that she's able to
take on other people's, problems and yet you're abandoning yourself
within that by not figuring out where you can go
with your, burdens or even just to have enough for,

(47:01):
yourself or where to draw the line.

Speaker 4 (47:03):
Exactly they say. PERFECT i say the same.

Speaker 2 (47:11):
Thing, absolutely.

Speaker 4 (47:12):
Boundaries the definition is immaculate because that's.

Speaker 3 (47:14):
War i'm thinking about how war are you are when
you have to listen to everybody else's stress and, traumas
and a lot of times you listen to it and
they're not going to change their. Circumstances how many times
have you given advice to a friend or a family
member and they come for the advice and then don't
take the, advice and then they come back with the
same recurring problem and it's just, like at this point
you just want to not and then we fall out because.

Speaker 7 (47:34):
Now i'm, like, well you ain't gonna leave, Them SO
i don't know why you keep telling me.

Speaker 2 (47:38):
EXACTLY i love. It, no that's.

Speaker 4 (47:44):
Awesome the one THING i will say is that she
she also has to be.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
Honest you can create, boundaries but also be, honest, right
and when that person's coming to, you it's okay to be,
like you, Know i'm going through something, too the same
way that person came to.

Speaker 4 (47:57):
You it is on you to go to people you can't,
say how come no one ask? Me did you ask that?
Person more than likely she didn't. Ask that person just.
Came so it's also you understand and, like you know,
WHAT i have a lot on. Me let me find
the person THAT i can go.

Speaker 3 (48:11):
To Right you need to find your own safe, space
wherever that, is whoever that might, be because these people
coming to you may not be someone you want to
reciprocate that kind of conversation with and then pour out
your heart. Too you got to find your own safe.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
Space you know WHAT i, realized y'all over these last couple, podcasts,
bro we all as people have a lot of work to,
do and that work has to happen.

Speaker 4 (48:33):
Daily oh for.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Sure you, know even if we're talking about other, people
we're talking about how to help this, person we're talking
About hot three, sixty it always comes back, to you know,
WHAT i got some THINGS i need to fix about, Myself.

Speaker 4 (48:44):
Solf you know What i'm, Saying and it's becoming a constant.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
TREND i think this season is about like the overarching
Topic i'm seeing is like self. Awareness so far, Right,
yeah and just being mindful of like how you're showing
up in, spaces how you're showing up for, yourself for
your you, know, family and.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
How often we, project like we see issues in ourselves
and we often project those issues on other people.

Speaker 4 (49:07):
Where realizing like a lot of people don't Blame, yeah
we don't do it on, purpose but we all do.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
That and this is an example because she sounds like
a person that really cares a lot about, people but
she also doesn't realize that you're not allowing people to
care for, you and now you're blaming them for you
not going to them and saying you.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
Have issues and it's always easier to take to, give, Right,
yeah that's really. True, well good luck to.

Speaker 2 (49:29):
You don't let them.

Speaker 3 (49:30):
Loose don't let them allow you to lose that spirit
you have about you, though because that's genuinely who you
are and that's your.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
Heart SO i hope you find your safe space and
create those. BOUNDARIES i like.

Speaker 4 (49:41):
That quote, Though, yeah the safe space SO i can
love you and myself at the same. Time that's a.
BOUNDARY i think that's gonna be my moment of truth
for So i'm gonna steal it. Later i'm not gonna
steal it now because triple.

Speaker 2 (49:52):
Just do that on the boundary to a boundary of.

Speaker 4 (49:54):
Boundary so coming, TOMORROW i thought of.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
Something The deva draws a diagram for.

Speaker 4 (50:01):
Everything i'm.

Speaker 3 (50:05):
Boundary if you want to be featured as one of
our listener, letters y'all email us at The Ellis advice
at gmail dot.

Speaker 4 (50:12):
Com that's t H E E l L I S
a D V I C E i gmail dot.

Speaker 3 (50:18):
Com all, right moment of truth. Time we're talking about's.

Speaker 5 (50:22):
Having the same name every time you spell out spell
my name.

Speaker 4 (50:27):
Every TIME i, say let's Go ellis And. Mags i'm right, here,
man let's. Go that's, Right Hey lis, Too i'll memever.
FORGET i was talking about the Little.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
Ellis's several of them rolling around.

Speaker 4 (50:37):
HERE i, said K, Ellis my mom is K, ellis
his wife is K.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
Ellis it was the cutest.

Speaker 3 (50:42):
Thing matt's wife was Over christa And deval's mom was in,
town and the three of us were sitting at the
kitchen table just chatting.

Speaker 2 (50:48):
Over a bottle of wine and we were, like oh my,
god it's like a K ellis, convention a K ellis.
Caucus K ellis.

Speaker 4 (50:55):
Kickback you have to tell them what you were talking. About, well, well.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
There were several, things.

Speaker 4 (51:01):
Several, things but my mom talking about female stuff to.

Speaker 3 (51:05):
My right AS i entered, perimenopause, menopause things like, That
and it's.

Speaker 1 (51:10):
Just crazy to me That i'm, like, yo your mom
may't talked to you about, that and she's like, No
And i'm, like that's crazy that my mom is talking
to you about.

Speaker 4 (51:18):
That but it's also a good.

Speaker 6 (51:19):
Thing.

Speaker 4 (51:20):
Yo my mom's talking, like she was giving.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
Me some things THAT i was, Like oh, FIRST i was,
like BUT.

Speaker 4 (51:25):
I was, like, oh, Okay i'm GLAD i ain't walking in.

Speaker 3 (51:29):
That it was great Because i'm just, like this is
candor THAT i need, Sometimes like my mom is not
as candid with things like this because she kind of
sees it as, EMBARRASSING i, think or, taboo whereas the
ows mom were, like listen to, you this is what it,
is let me tell. You So i'm happy to have both,
media you, know yod, spaces.

Speaker 4 (51:46):
Realize HOW i am the WAY i.

Speaker 1 (51:48):
Am my mom is, candid says exactly what's on her,
mind and my dad all he does is, joke. Right
and the other night it was in there talking AND
i was just, like, yo THIS i see HOW i,
am exactly WHERE i.

Speaker 9 (51:59):
Am i'm gonna, say if she got something to, say
you're gonna say. It my father sitting the room and
just stare at, you and you're gonna, Know you're gonna
know exactly what he meant to, say but he's just
gonna look at.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
You that's literally. Mad that's your. Expression but also when
you have something to, say this.

Speaker 10 (52:11):
Is why it takes a village you find. That that's
what that you are. Exactly UNFORTUNATELY.

Speaker 4 (52:21):
I already know. YOU i don't even got to ask.
You you are definitely me me And. Pops and this
you walk heavy like me me though because you both
got bumpers back. There this is be like. Yours how
about your triple, you your mom and your.

Speaker 7 (52:35):
Dad, ABSOLUTELY i love.

Speaker 3 (52:36):
THAT i love that all, right moment of true. TIME
i think mine is. Simple the topic today was the artist's,
way and it's exactly. That the artist's apostrophe s is
possession and it's your. Way that's WHY i said in the,
beginning it's my. Way do not stray from your.

Speaker 2 (52:51):
Way it'll make a way for.

Speaker 7 (52:55):
You for everyone that can't see deval was clocking that
tea period.

Speaker 4 (53:06):
Period it's two, different it's.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
Different SO i learned.

Speaker 4 (53:12):
Day i'm, LIKE i know What i'm talking about BECAUSE
k had to tell, me BECAUSE i, like what the
fuck is?

Speaker 1 (53:15):
This it's, like when you clock it like, this that
means that they said something that you agree, with right
boom boom. Boom if you clock it in the, middle
that means that they're wearing something that's, like, yeah.

Speaker 4 (53:30):
It's too different with the right.

Speaker 2 (53:33):
Fingers now, Listen that's WHAT i saw in one.

Speaker 3 (53:36):
Video there could be also variations of, it BUT i
saw in one video made that that would with.

Speaker 10 (53:42):
It i'm going home to terrorize my daughter BECAUSE i.

Speaker 8 (53:46):
Feel like the l g b T q A i
started this very women tell us have co opted queer
black queer language and then act like it means something
that it doesn't.

Speaker 2 (53:56):
Mean to give us the four one clock.

Speaker 8 (53:58):
It with with your middle fingers always been an. Applause
it comes from the ballroom and the ball, scene and
whether it's a, look it's usually a look because they
don't speak a lot in the ball, scene so you're.

Speaker 7 (54:11):
That's where it comes.

Speaker 8 (54:12):
From now because people l G b T q people
were telling them that the first finger is the wrong.
Finger now they're, like, oh this means something else, now like.
Evolving i'll take.

Speaker 7 (54:26):
That i'll take.

Speaker 4 (54:26):
That it's.

Speaker 7 (54:27):
Evolving appropriation in the race either.

Speaker 10 (54:30):
Way appropriation within the race is, creepy.

Speaker 8 (54:34):
Yeah because you, know black queer men especially aren't always
welcome in certain. Spaces so if you're gonna take their,
ship you need to get damn credit.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
Acknowledge i'm here for that.

Speaker 1 (54:46):
Is the straight black women do take a lot of
stuff from queer black men and then have.

Speaker 4 (54:51):
The nerve to be.

Speaker 7 (54:52):
Transphobic you know What i'm. Saying they don't want. To
don't get me.

Speaker 4 (54:56):
Started.

Speaker 2 (54:59):
CLOCK i love it all, right moment of? Truth who
else had?

Speaker 5 (55:10):
ONE i don't. Know i'm gonna follow that. Up that
Was that was?

Speaker 10 (55:12):
Good that was.

Speaker 11 (55:13):
GOOD i would only say my moment of truth is
that being being an artist isn't for public consumption. Only
there's some art feels that that that are for, It
but your first audience is yourself and you should be
happy and content with that audience first before you present
it to the.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
WORLD i love.

Speaker 8 (55:32):
THAT i think being creative starts with, gratitude having gratitude
for the great creation that we live in the people around,
us the, stars the, trees.

Speaker 7 (55:46):
Nature, yeah go outside and look at something and love.

Speaker 2 (55:50):
That that's a good.

Speaker 4 (55:50):
One it's gonna be good to go.

Speaker 3 (55:54):
Attitude she was, like, well have an attitude for your
atitude creditude.

Speaker 4 (56:02):
Properly i'm not gonna try to beat that one or that.

Speaker 1 (56:05):
One ALL i will say is suppressing your your artistic
nature is like suppressing your individuality.

Speaker 3 (56:12):
And being an.

Speaker 2 (56:13):
Individually don't be scared to BE i.

Speaker 5 (56:14):
Thought he was gonna, say you said, Already.

Speaker 4 (56:18):
I'm saving that for the.

Speaker 1 (56:19):
Episode i'm stealing that so that when they so that
they won't even hear him say, it SO i could
sound smarter BEFORE i stole it in the same. Episode
they're gonna KNOW i stole. IT i stole From triple
That i'm using for the next. One, josh, DEFINITELY i
got like three.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
Moments of truth your columbusing People's, uh.

Speaker 4 (56:39):
It's my. House this was definitely discovered his. MIND i
own it what they, SAID i own. IT i own. It, sorry,
Guys josh, Speak i'm gonna be like it'd be like this.

Speaker 5 (56:53):
PROFOUND i love.

Speaker 2 (56:54):
It taking Notes.

Speaker 3 (56:56):
Josh find us On patreon and join the. Party, honey
we have The After. Show we have Exclusive ellis family
content over, There so if you have not joined The patreon,
gang what are you?

Speaker 7 (57:06):
Doing?

Speaker 3 (57:06):
Okay you can also find us on social media At
ellis Ever. After we have clips that we're posting On
instagram and TikTok to go over there and, engage, honey
get into the, comments and you can find me on
social media At KADEEN I, Am.

Speaker 11 (57:19):
I'm, Devao i'm Underscore ellis you catching On instagram At
Joshua Underscore, Dwayne i'm.

Speaker 8 (57:25):
At tribs The COOL. Tribbz that's cool on Everything and.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
If you're listening On apple, podcasts be sure to, download, rates,
review and.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
Subscribe Gott.

Speaker 8 (57:41):
Ellis Ever after is an iHeartMedia. Podcast it's hosted By
kadeen And Deval. Ellis it's produced By Triple, Video production By,
Joshua dwayne And Matthew, ellis video editing By Lashan.

Speaker 7 (57:55):
Rowe If The

Speaker 5 (59:07):
If The cas