117: My Student

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys, this is Donald Fazon and Zach Braff. So
this podcast we recorded it the same day after everyone
found out George Floyd getting murdered. First of all, I
do not necessarily know what to say to everyone out there. Truthfully,
I wish everything and everyone could be happy right now,

(00:20):
but that's definitely not what's going on in the world.
For me. This is a time where I feel like
I don't know. I wish that I could sit here
and say we're making progress, but we want to make
you laugh here. I will say this, I am very,
very supportive of the people out there fighting the good
fight that are protesting right now, and I stand with you.

(00:44):
We also wanted to let you know that the next
few podcasts were recorded before all of this has reached
such a fever pitch, and we didn't want you to
think for a second that we were being callous about
that and not dialed into what's happening. So we just
wanted to let you know the next few podcasts were
recorded prior to things being as they are currently. That
being said, I hope we can distract you from the

(01:06):
madness that's going on right now for a just an
hour and a half for just an hour and a half.
Sit back and enjoy this with us. Here we go. So, Donald,
you're five six minutes late. Well, well you know this
is how how we do and how do it? Five
minutes late? My wife hot boxed me. She took a

(01:27):
shower right before the podcast, and the shower is connected
to the closet, like got the shower itself, but the
bathrooms connected to the closet, right So it's like two
hundred degrees in here right now. Well, you're wearing an
Amazon shirt. It feels like, well I had this one
for the view today, man, which it looked great on
the view. We were on the View today, Donald's look

(01:49):
very handsome, and thank you very much. You changed your shirt?
I did. I put on a night I didn't. I
wanted to look good for for for the ladies, and
I put on a nice Did you look very nice? Anyway?
My wife hotbo to me. So it's like it's like
the Amazon jungle up in here right now, man, okay,
And I wanted to shang a tank too. Why don't
you switch to a tank top? We could watch it
happen live. Listen. Man, she's mad about something right now.

(02:11):
I don't know I did wrong. I don't know, man,
I don't know what. Sometimes you don't ever, you never know.
Sometimes she's just mad, she's just mad. I don't know.
I bet if you brainstorms, you could figure out what
you may have done. And this moment right now, I
can't figure it out. In other moments, I've been able
to put it all together and be like, oh, that

(02:31):
was I bet it's because of this. That's the worst.
When you can't figure it out, You're like, what do
I do? Dude, I have no idea. I've been good
to the kids, I fed them, I've done all of
that stuff. I just don't know. Well, listen, I think
we were really good on the view. It was hard
because there was a big delay yes and um and

(02:52):
more so than normal zoom. It was like a few
a second or two delays. So it's always tricky to
be funny when when you're stepping all over each other. Well,
I will say this. My mother, who does not listen
to our podcast, watched the view. She watched she said
we are great together. She was like, I'm gonna tell

(03:13):
you something. She was like, you and Zach interview so
well together. It's ridiculous. Oh, that's nice. Oh man, listen,
we want to cheer you up. If you're frustrated with
the universe and you're frustrated like Donald is, we're here
to entertain you. We're here to take your mind off things.
You might be on a hike, you might be walking
your dog, you might be breastfeeding, you might be doing

(03:35):
the dishes, you might be tugging one out. We are
here to make you laugh. Donald. If you're I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say one, can I just say one thing before? Yes,
say one thing? If you're tugging one out while listening
to us, Yes, thank you. We would like you to finish.

(03:55):
As as Donald counts down about show we made about
a bunch of dots and nurses and stories. Never so
get around here yet around here. I'm not sure if

(04:24):
the good people at I Heeart are going to approve that.
But they don't give a shit about that. They're not
even listening. They're not even listening. They don't care anymore,
you know, Like when we first signed with iHeart, they
were like, you know, you know, you guys can just
do whatever you want and we'll give you notes and
thoughts and take them leave them we haven't heard anything
from them. I think we're doing well enough that they
just let us do our thing. I love the people
over at iHeart. Let I just put it out there.

(04:45):
Let's just put it out there now wherever you're listening
to your podcast right now. Yeah, I heart has been
so awesome to us. Yes, and Will. We got to
give shout out to Will Pearson, who's the guy who
we first met, and he's really come through with all
his He pretty much said, you guys can do whatever
you want, and he's he's let us do our thing. Yeah. Well,

(05:07):
you know, he didn't promise a lot of at the
first meeting we had with him, but he was definitely like,
this is a no brainer, guys, And well it is.
I mean, look at this comic gold here. Plus we
got we met, we met Dan and Joel. Yeah, I
know it's serendipitous if you really want to look at it.
So I want to thank Joel, I want to thank Dan,
I want to thank Will. I want to thank all

(05:28):
of you out there listening right now. Thank you so
much so far. We're so grateful. We're so grateful for you.
Neither one. DIALD and I always talk about how we
never thought this would be this much fun. We thought, uh,
you know, we thought, Okay, that'll be something to do,
that'll be a little fun side project. But we are
having so much fun, and we we we know that
you are. We see that you're that you're listening, and

(05:49):
please tell your friends. We want to now we're now,
we're invested. Now we're like, let's fucking go for it.
We hope, we hope one day when the world opens up,
that we can tour the show. We'd love to. We
know that some podcasts come to cities all over the
world and do it live. We'll do it live and
Donald Live live. Donald and I would love to do that.
We'd love to come to your city and we'll show
the episode first and then we'll come out and we'll

(06:11):
do this exact show with Q and a's and audience participation.
We'll bring Dan and Joel. Of course, maybe we'll have
a tour bus. Donald. We'll get to finally live that
tour bus life we've always dreamed about. I would love
to have a tour with Joel and Dan on the bus. Well,
they get to come inside from the bus, but no,
I want them to. You know how your band always
travels in the bus. We'd be a four person band.

(06:32):
Oh god person band. I come with a couple of
groupies though I got a couple. Now, you're not rolling
with your kids and your wife. I can't tour with
my wife and kids after all of this, No you can,
but they're in a separate bus. If you're gonna stop
bringing a family with Joel and Dan and I are
going to be partying in the party bus and you
and your family can be in the family bus. I'm
going to be on the party bus. I want to

(06:53):
shout out I'm exciting, just to remind them of Donald
mentioned this. But we have coming up Krista Miller. We
have Sarah Chalk coming back on the show. We have
Scott Foley coming on the show. Yeah, we're hoping to
get Neil Flynn. We're still working his dates out with him. Yeah.
We have a Shay Serrano who's an amazing writer who

(07:14):
wrote a his own self published book about Scrubs and
he's an amazing bestseller. And uh, he's the first you
will be the first official Scrubs mega fan to be
on the show because he's we have mega fans call in.
So no, I'm saying as a guest, as a guest,
no doubt. And then we're gonna get Brendan Frasier on

(07:37):
episode one twenty three, My Hero. And then we're gonna
close out season one with Bill Lawrence and Krista Miller
on at the same time. Hopefully they'll bicker and it
will be hilarious. I just I hope they argue. I'm
not gonna argue. You know, they always go on Howard
Sterning together and they bicker and tell dirty stories from
their marriage, and it will be great Bill and Chris
to have dirty stories. Oh yeah, I think there was

(07:58):
a story where they had sex see in a bathroom
at someone else's wedding. Oh my god, Bill and Christopher
freaks like that. Yeah, And I hope they're not just
sharing that naughty stuff for Howard Stern. I hope they're
gonna They've better not come on here and be two PG.
You know, people go on Howard and myself included, and
you want to be like, oh, I'm gonna tell my
most outrageous tales. Well, I hope they come on and
talk about banging in the bathroom at someone's wedding. I

(08:21):
can't get over that. Oh, my gosh. Also, for those
who are tugging, you're welcome. You should be done tugging
by now. Please, the show has started. You were supposed
to be done by five six eight. Do you want
to get into the show or do you want to
talk somebody? I just kind I'm having so much fun
talking to you, but we can, we can start the show.

(08:43):
It's a it's an odd show. I'm not gonna say
it's one of my favorites. Okay, okay, I know that's
crazy talk, but it's not. It's not one of the best.
There's a couple of cool things in it. The show
begins with an epic one er. This is the one
that we talked about a couple of times on the podcast. Now,
just to reiterate for those of you who who are like,
what the fox a wonner? I know some of you

(09:05):
know the film jargon, but for those of you who don't,
wonder is where the camera never cuts? That is to say,
there are no edits. The whole thing's filmed, and the
cameras mounted to Charles Pappards and no shafts and no
shaft Charles Pappard, all balls and no shaft and Charles
pepperd All Balls and No Shaft slid into my DMS

(09:26):
by the way, and said that he should come on
the podcast. I'd love to have Oh, that would be
so awesome. Yeah, I think we should have him one
as soon as he wanted to come on for well,
we're kind of full, as I just told the audience,
we had a full plate. But maybe for a season two. Yeah, absolutely, Man,
he should totally be on the show. It would have
been smart for us to have him on this episode

(09:47):
because there's this epic steady cam wonner that opens the
whole show. But he did. First of all, Charles Pappard
isn't a very big man, and he's one of in
my opinion, he's a great steady cam operator. He's a
great camera operator, but he's a great steady cam operator also.
And I remember this being very taxing on his body

(10:09):
one because I missed the jump shot so many times. Bill,
here's an opportunity for you to clown me. How many times?
Here that's here we go? How many times did I
miss that jump shot? Look, I don't want to exaggerate
it at all, but I would have to say that

(10:31):
Donald missed that shot. That jump shot at the beginning
of that long one er take. I want to say
he missed it at least seventy times in a row.
But to Donald could play ball. He actually played in
my basketball game a bunch. But I do want it
now committed to public record. Donald's older brother Dotta is

(10:51):
much much much better at basketball than Donald is, and
Donald has to live with that. I mean, his older
brother can ball. The guy's a rock star on the court.
So Joelle is going to put it on our show
notes and you can click the link to the video,
and I believe it's a it's a behind the scenes
of doing this epic warner, and you can see how
many times Donald misses the jump shot. Anyway, so we
do that, we finally hit it, and there are a

(11:12):
couple of times where Charles didn't do something right and
we had to go back to the beginning again. But anyway,
while watching this episode and watching this infamous warner, Yes,
as we get closer to the end, if you notice,
our energy just keeps picking up, and if we start

(11:33):
getting more and more excited, if you look at really
the person to watch is Sarah, because Sarah is going
nuts inside, like you can see her, like, yeah, we're
gonna do it. We're gonna do it, you know, and
you can see you're right. As you can see when
you watch the shot, there's so many moving pieces. There's
a lot of background. There's there's us, there's Donald hitting

(11:53):
the jump shot. Then we get on. Then we go
in to hospital. We get on a working elevator. We
actually got in the elevator. Do you recall the person
that was working the elevator for us? I wrote it
down Norm Norm. Yeah. Norm was a sort of an
all around utility guy on the scrub set. He would
work the air conditioning tubes, move them around and he
would and he dressed up because we needed someone to

(12:14):
be to actually operate the elevator. So we get in
the elevator with Kelso then we come out. We struck
down the hallway, we go into the ICU. The camera
whip hands to Johnny c still without having cut. It
comes back to us and then we come around the
corner and we were joined by Carla, and then it
whips around again and we see all the new men's students.

(12:34):
So that took I think we rehearsed probably a full
half day maybe, Yeah, it took a while too. It
took a while just to set the shot up. I
remember that, and then to get I remember we were
supposed to get the shot done before lunch, and we did.
And then but like by the skin of our teeth,
if I'm correct, I'm not, I'm not exactly sure, but

(12:55):
I know that there were so many other than me
missing a jump shot. There were so many things that
were involved that had to go right for it to work,
and sometimes it didn't work. And uh, and what Donald,
I agree with you. What you're saying is so by
the time we made it to the second floor and
we were kind of then the hard part was over.
We like did Donald's jumpshot, and we did the choreography

(13:17):
of the elevator and then we were struggling all the way.
We all three of us were like, oh shit, we're
making it. We're gonna make it, and you can see it. Sarah,
Sarah is the most excited you could tell. So when
I go give me some hungry chicken and you guys
are eating, watch her. She's like her. She uses both hands.
It was originally supposed to be one hand. She's using
both hands. She's pounding my hand. And that's why I

(13:41):
said to you, you're not hungry enough. You were getting
cocky too. You know, you made it to the end,
you started improving. You're like, yeah, that was improv Absolutely,
that's cute. Well, I gotta tell you that it was
really cool. And um, I wanted to say that if
you're looking for there's a lot of famous one ers
you can you can you can google it on online

(14:02):
and find some in some of your favorite movies. But
one of my favorites is and Good Fellas. If you
remember that iconic shot that goes down into the restaurant
when when he's bringing her on the first date and
through the kitchen and up into the restaurant and I
and and they're just really fun. Filmmakers and actors love
them because it's it's so challenging to pull it off well.

(14:22):
And um, I think this was the biggest one we
did in all of Scrubs. Yeah. Uh. One of my
favorite movies is Swingers, and they talk about you know,
slow motion shots and wonders. Uh, and yeah that I
think I think Scorsese's Good Fellas Wonner is probably one
of the best wonders in the history Yeah, moviemaking. Yeah, Yeah,

(14:43):
And it's just uh. I think it introduced me as
a young film student to how how cool they could be.
And there's an epic one in Orson Wells is some
touch of evil that opens the film as well. You know,
there's there's dozens of them, but um so this was
our homage. The Nutty Professor has one, and not the
one with Eddie Murphy, the one with Jerry Lewis where

(15:05):
he's before he walks into the club as Buddy Love.
You know, he's walking down the street and people are
stopping and looking at him like, you know, and you
not expect. You don't know what to expect when you
see him. You're thinking that the Nutty Professor is you know,
it's a Jacqueline Hide story and his mister Hyde is
like this grotesque thing. And when he walks into the
bar and finally you get to see what he looks like,

(15:29):
the reaction from everybody it makes sense, but it's like, wait,
hold up, y'all were acting like this was the scariest
dude on the planet and really it's just Buddy Love walking.
Have you ever seen a nutty professor? Oh my god, listen,
let me tell you right now. Jerry Lewis in that movie.
I know he said some questionable things on television and

(15:51):
stuff like that, but you want to talk about switching
it up when he plays the nerd and then he
plays Buddy Love. I gotta watch it. He says, some
of the monologues in that movie are amazing, Like he says,
some of the most amazing, Like he is a true
pimp in all sense of the word, in all respect,

(16:12):
all respect, all respect to to what's his name, Buddy Love,
Buddy Love. If you have to mention by, yeah, I'm
gonna check it out. Not to mention the fame. Now,
there's been some famous one or movies, including Birdman and
what was the one that just came out that everybody
loved so much? Nineteen seventeen. But that's CG two, though,

(16:32):
isn't it. No? They they hit they they well, they
didn't do a one or movie. They they hit a
bunch of cuts. But it's but they're still doing like
eight minute scenes with five hundred extras and incredible stuff,
things exploding. If you are if you are a film
geek like i am, go go watch behind the scenes
of nineteen seventeen and you'll see just some extraordinary filmmaking. Anyway,

(16:55):
So we just wrote that down. Dude, nineteen seventeen. Need
to watch Yeah, go watch behind. You've never seen the film,
have yet to see the film. Oh, the film's beautiful,
but more but I was told I needed to watch it.
I was told I needed to see it in a
theater because of the scope. Yeah, but now you can't.
But I I saw a screener because we got it
for Awards season, and I love. I thought it was
so beautiful. I went to the theater. I said, I

(17:16):
got to see this, and I went and saw it
at the Dome. You know here in Hollywood we have
a big dome theater. And it was just gorgeous and
and and amazing acting uh um by everybody involved, and
it's beautiful. Yes, yes, sir um. At one thirty two,
we started strutting. I mean we are strutting. Yeah, that's
like a George Jefferson strut. It's like, yeah, it's like

(17:40):
the straight up where we're moving on up. Yeah, strut.
We were very serious. Look, I'm trying to tell you man.
We were so excited, very excited, so excited. And then
on Scrubs Wiki it was pointed out that at one
fifty two, you can see my mic cable. Um. Now
now now nowadays we would just you know, visual effects

(18:01):
are so much easier, you would just paint something like
that out. They just go in like like oh, you know,
like photoshop but moving video and just paint a little
mic cable out. But back in the day, we certainly
weren't going to scrap finally making it through because he
saw a little mic cable on him. But you see,
I gently lift up my shirt a little bit and
you can see where the hidden mic cable is on me.

(18:22):
So there you go, the little Scrubs wiki guy coming through.
Is this the first appearance of the Hungry Chicken at
two fifteen? I think this is the only appearance of
the Hungry Chicken? No? No, yeah, when did we do
it again? I feel like Hungry Chickens has been in
other episodes. Hey, Joel, have we set it up with
our Scrubs wicky guy to answer questions that we ask him?

(18:42):
If he might be down for that. Yes, he's very
down to do anything for this show. Um, we're had
to have him on as our fan caller, not this
week but next week and then yeah we can ask
him questions. Well, let's audition him. Now, Hi, what's his name?
By the way, Joel, I just call him scrubs Wicky.
What's his name? I would have to look so as
of right now he scrubs Wicky. Okay, scrubs Wicky. Um,

(19:05):
thank you for all your hard work. Is this the
only time that the Hungry Chicken ever appears in nine
seasons of Scrubs? And if not, when does it appear
in other episodes? Yo, Trevor from Scrubs Wicky here. According
to our records, the episode My Student is the only
appearance of Hungry Chicken. Donald at three fourteen, you say

(19:25):
something like, what is this thing we're doing? Baby girl?
So do okay? So I know we had a lot
of songs, but but this has no I do, but
I don't buy vaguely, but before you go into the song,
what there's no context for it in the episode at all? No,
there isn't. But this was you and I arguing about

(19:46):
R and B music, right, and you were like, dude,
all it is is dudes and girl. Dude saying baby
girl shook a doll and baby baby girl, I love
a girl maiming girl, right, and so we when you
said that, I remember laughing so hard because the pretty

(20:09):
much every song that's R and B keep it one
hundred y'all. Baby, Yeah, you're gonna hear the word baby. Definitely,
you're definitely hearing baby. You're mostly if it's a male artist,
you're most likely hearing girl. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Well, Donald
the time, you were listening to a lot of those
kind of songs, and I still do. I still do

(20:31):
Trey songs. I still listen to all of that stuff.
I love them to death. Listen. We had some great
guest casts. We had DJ Qualls remember him from well,
the most famously Road Trip. Yes he was from road Trip. Yes,
that was at the time. That was the most famous
thing he had done. One of my best friends on
the planet, Brecken Meyer, in that movie as well. I

(20:51):
remember DJ Quaals told me a story when we were
shooting this episode that he had made a bunch of
money and he was working a lot and he walked
and he doesn't do credit cards at all, wanted to
just pay cash, didn't didn't mess with credit cards, and
he walked into a BMW dealership to buy a fancy
car and he couldn't you know, a lanky, young kid

(21:12):
like him. He couldn't get anyone's attention. They just totally
ignored him, and he was really it was like totally
the pretty woman moment where he was like, you know
what the commission. Yeah, and he walked across the street
to the Mercedes dealership where someone finally gave him attention
and he bought him Mercedes with cash. Wow. Wow, he

(21:32):
had it like that. He got it like that. Yeah,
he had the money like that, and he was like
and he just remember he was telling me the story
of his pretty woman moment where like no salesman was
even talking to him, and he was like, fuck these people.
And he walked across the street and bought him brought
up from the competitive dealership in cash. M Adrian Winner
played Sarah's med student. He's the Northwestern grad so we

(21:54):
know that he's a good actor, and I thought he
did a great job. He did such a great job.
I remember I looked at this. I didn't remember. You know,
it's me so I didn't remember the episode, but I
thought our guest stars were so good in this episode.
In particular, I have to say Kelly Williams, who played
Johnny C's love interest and was in part of your story. Absolutely. Uh,

(22:15):
she was great. Uh what show was she on at
the time, Joel, Do you know I was looking up
she's been on all sorts of stuff since because I
was kind of curious what she's been up to, and
I was imd being here, but she's been working non stop. Well,
yeah she was, but she was on a show I
think at the time, and we it was you might
be confusing her with a different guest star, but in

(22:36):
any event, she was very good and she and Johnny
were good together. Can we talk about Turk as a
wing man? Yeah, Turk is the best wing man ever. Yeah,
you were, you were You really didn't want to do
it until he was like, you idiot, Um, I'm obsessed
with your girlfriend. Helped set me up with someone else? Right, well, right,

(22:58):
that was the thing he I think Turk really enjoyed
the fact that, uh, doctor Cox, that Perry Cox was
in love with Carla and couldn't have Carla, you know
what I mean. I think he loved the fact that
I have something on you that you will never get.
And then when he threatened him and says, you know,
I'll be sitting here waiting, Turk knows I'm gonna fuck

(23:19):
up eventually, and when I fuck up, this dude's gonna pounce.
So I don't want this guy in the wings, right,
you know when you're dating you know when you're dating someone,
and and this is more back in the day. It's
not really like a oh dude, I got I got
a great story for that dude. No, but the dude
had the friend who's in the wings, like always just
sitting there, just waiting for you to fuck up. My dude,

(23:40):
my friend, my friend, my friend. I dated someone and
when we broke up. I remember her calling me like, dude,
you'd be surprised at all of these guys that you
know were so tight with us as a group, like
you'd hang out with them. She's like, you'd be surprised

(24:00):
of who's hitting me up? Like I don't want to know, man,
it's it's you know we're no longer to gather, do you,
But holy shit? Yeah, but you still got mad about
that's still sketchy the dudes in the wings, Like, oh,
y'all broke up. It's like a better off dead. I
heard you broke up with Beth if I give her
a call. Yeah, that's a great movie too. That ship

(24:22):
is great when Barney he's watching The flint Stones and
Barney's like, hey, Lloyd, I hope you I heard you
broke up with Beth. Can I ask her out? That
movie's amazing? Better Off Dead? Check it out? Better Off Dead,
John Cusack. What about at five to eleven when when
when Kelly's character says to Todd that he is a
lap pinky. I've never heard the term lap pinky before.

(24:46):
What is a lap pinky? A tiny penis? Oh? Right?
When she calls him that, right with all the much cheese,
But she uses the word mucheesmo. You said you hadn't
heard that word before. She uses it in the show.
I've heard much cheesemo. I said it in something and
you were like, what wow, Donald with the macheese mo.
Kelly was on the practice. You were right about that,
thank you. Yeah, she's a very good actress and I

(25:08):
thought she did a great job. Lap pinky. I think
we gotta put that into our our lexicon on it
because that's a nice term for having a small penis
a lap pinky? Yeah, I just don't I don't. I
don't get it. But it's a pinky in your lap,
Now you get it. I totally get it now. Oh,

(25:28):
it took you a second. It took me a second.
I was off a little bit. Yeah, maybe it's the
Scotch anyway, lap pinky, Yeah, don't come around here without
lap pinky. I don't we know, we know, we know
you have a lap baby forearm on that note. We're
gonna go to break. We'll be right back. All we

(25:56):
do is talk about wieners on this show. I know,
I know. I'm getting a lot of notes from my
girlfriend's mom about about our willis. Oh man, she calls
it the Eel cast, the eel Dude. You turned into
the fucking hawlk Yo. You turned into the Hulk. You know.

(26:16):
I was so happy that Joel wrote in her notes, um,
was that really you, Zach? When you turn in the Hulk? Joel,
that is a giant stuntman with a lot of with
much bigger muscles than I could ever grow. I just
love the fact that this is before like all of
the um like your movies have come out and everything,
like all the marble stuff, and you turned into the

(26:37):
Hulk like back in the old school day. Yeah, like
the cheesy, cheesy. That show is amazing. You didn't watch
that show when you were a kid, everybody watched the Hawk.
But come on, buddy, it like when you look at
the Hawk now cantors. But you're not putting it in
the context, dude, when we were kids, eighteen hunk, Yeah,

(26:59):
all of those shows. Man, six million dollars Man, remember that. Yeah,
but when you look at at least the motherfucker jumped
over shit in the six million dollars Man and could
see remember that noise, Dan, can you put in that
that noise of when the six would jump. I love
that show. I did too. The six million dollars Man.

(27:19):
We can rebuild him, we can fix him. We can,
by the way, now nowadays it would be like the
one billion dollar Man. We have the technology, we can happen. Right.
Oh man, you only cost six million dollars to fucking
become become a robot man, to become a freaking sideboard.
How come no one's remade that we should remake six
million dollars the six million dollars Man. But as two friends,

(27:40):
as god, that would be hilarious. Let's do it, the
bionic Man and the bionic Woman. Oh my god, no,
we both get special powers. No, no, no one of
us get special powers. The other one is the freaking
dude on the computer. A oh, but I know which
one of us is gonna want to be the dude
in the computer. I guess you. I'm sure you will
mind because you go home to your kids a lot.
You'll work like an hour a day, like what do

(28:02):
I gotta do you care to be on the set
at the computer being like I'm enhancing the picture I'm
moving in. Yeah, he's got a bomb in his left pocket.
And then you just go home one day work, one
day work, and then I'm out there fucking sixteen hours
a day doing fucking leaps over buildings. I love it.
I think this is a great idea. I think this
is a show we should make. All right, Well, if
you're a producer out there in Hollywood and you want

(28:24):
to make a six million dollars n TV show a
dollar and I we're ready. No, not a TV show,
a movie, the movie. No. I think it should be
streaming on Netflix, oh my gosh. And it should be
just be like super silly, like like the powers they
gave me only work sometimes. Do you remember the greatest
American hero? My powers are faulty? Yeah? I heard they
were remaking that. Of course, I don't know what happened

(28:46):
with it, but I heard they were the greatest theme
song ever, believe it or not not, I'm walking on there.
I never thought I could feel so free, flying away
on a win and a prayer. Who could it be?
Believe it or not, it's just da dad. Now you're

(29:10):
trying to say you don't. You're trying to say that
show doesn't hold up anymore, and that was magic. It
really does not hold up anymore. If you watch that show,
you'll be like, oh my gosh, what about eighteen. I mean,
no one ever got shot. They're all firing a K
forty sevens at each other and no one ever gets hurt.
That's one thing we could say about our show. At
least people died on our show Man when they would

(29:31):
do the no and then they do the sequence where
they built shit, and now I'll be like, oh, what
are they building? Dan? Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan
Dan Danna Remember be a Baraccas, it wasn't Baracus. Remember

(29:58):
he couldn't fly. They'd have to do awesome. Yeah, Hannibal
ain't getting on the plane. You know, it's so funny
about that. It's so fucked up. They would like, they
would drug his ass so that he would fly. Yeah,
and he fell for it every time. Every time they'd
be like, here sip this, mister t what is in
this strange concoction? What did you put in my banana? Right?

(30:19):
I'm gonna eat a banana right now. I hate you, Hannibal,
Damn you, Hannibal. You you put that secret flying juice
on my banana. But you turned into the incredible Hulk.
Oh man, I'm sad to said. You know Marvel, you're

(30:41):
all those Marvel movies you love. They fucked up our
childhood classics. Like now everyone looks at the Hulk TV
show and they said that sucks. I thought it was
a masterpiece. Okay, you should go back and watch it.
I know I probably should try. Alma. So you turned
into the Hulk, and then Alma you're like you say
to her, you say to her something like he was horrible.
I I you know, I'm sorry, and she goes, you

(31:02):
don't got to apologize to me, but you will have
to apologize to Jesus. Yeah, hilarious. Whenever Aloma did her
her churchgoing woman preachy stuff, she was so funny, always, always,
She's one of those people that just could sell the
shit out of any line that was hilarious. You will
watch to apologize to Jesus if you watch this episode.

(31:25):
Every one of her lines is a punchline, you know
what I mean? Yeah, and they're all she's always and
they're always drive by. She's always walking by, every one
of them. Yeah, she crushes it every time. And what
about we need to get her on the show. Oh
we should, Well, we'll bid full up with guests. But
season two Aloma, right here we go. Joel put it
in the notes, please, um you pull out your booty

(31:47):
at twelve forty eight. I do. And it's to show
what what is it to show? It's to show you
what they love? You know what I'm saying. So what
you're saying and what Turk and you are both saying,
is when all else fails, you just do the slow
sag down and the woman see your juicy shelf butt. Yeah,

(32:08):
and they're sold. They're sold. I'm gonna tell you something
right now. Yeah, women aren't the only ones that can
have a nice booty. Okay, right, yeah, go ahead, that's
for real, for real. So are you feeling yourself when
it comes to you, like when you're in the mirror
and you check yourself out, You're like, look at my ass. No,
it's a different ass now. It's got a lot of

(32:29):
it's got a lot of wrinkles and sell you like,
maybe should do some squats, squat a lot. It doesn't
look like it did when I was twenty six when
we made this show list. We could do lunges. You
could do lunges. I do all of that, Zach. There's
no reason why a forty six year old man can't
have a tight ass. I'm gonna explain something to you
right now. Don't blame it on your age. Joelle's falling

(32:50):
off her chair, that is that is not an excuse
for you. Man, You could do lunges. I'm gonna explain
something to you right now. With age comes sag, and
you can work out as much as you look at
Johnny C the other day on Zoom. You don't think
Johnny C got a little bit of sag in him? No,
I bet you he's tight as fucking hell. Because Mutton,

(33:10):
it looks like Mutton. You could bounce a quarter off
his abs. Uh yeah, Mutton, I think that was firm
like Mutton. That was Yeah, that was me. I don't
even know if mutton's firm. It just sounded funny. I
think mutton is like supposed to be like very tender.
What is mutton? It's lamb, Yeah, it's lamb. I think
it's supposed to be very very tender when it's tender,

(33:31):
but to go it's firm like mutton. It just sounded funny.
I think I stole it from Princess Brody because when
the mutton is lean, remember that Billy Crystal, except for
like a mutton lettuce and tomato sandwich, when the mutton
is lean. Do you remember meeting Billy Crystal? Uh? Yeah, where?

(33:55):
And we want a plane where? And we were traveling
It was me, you can. I don't know where we
were going, but we were on a plane and we
sat with Billy Crystal the whole trip. And then we
saw him at the hotel too. Did we bother him?
I think it was Hawaiian, know, it had to be Hawaii,
and we were all He was just as much into
us as we were into him. He was very much

(34:17):
into you and you were very much into him. Yeah.
He was very complimentary of me, and that made me
feel good because I love him and I grew up
on him like we all did. And uh yeah, Mutton
from Princess Brian Mutton from Princess Bride. When the Mutton
have fun fun stor Castle, You're think it'll work. It
would take a miracle, right, he said to Blade, which

(34:42):
we all know is true. Lia that great movie. Speaking
of crushes, um Robin right in that movie was just
about the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Yes, I
love that movie. That's one of my favorite. I used
to watch that movie all the time. I remember introducing
it to my friends in the neighborhood who didn't see

(35:04):
the movie and being like, you guys haven't seen The
Princess Bride. I remember having a movie night at my
house just so my friends who had never been introduced
to The Princess Bride could watch The Princess Bride, and
we watched it on VHS, obviously in my room, and
I remember getting just such joy out of watching my
friends laugh so hard at something that was like it was.

(35:28):
It wasn't something that they would have gone to see normally,
you know, right? Did you think you did that more
often because you were dialed into all the theater world,
were you were. There are other times where you were
introducing your friend group to movies they might not have seen. Yeah,
that happened a lot. Actually, you know some of the
movie you know. I grew up with a bunch of
people who loved movies, though too so some of the
movies that I was introduced to, you know, at a

(35:51):
young age, like a lot of the horror movies and
stuff like. I had a lot of friends who loved
horror movies growing up, and I have an appreciation for them.
I don't watch them, but things like A Nightmare on
elm Street I would have never seen if it wasn't
for Jessica Macardo, you know what I mean. Like, and
you know Jessica, you've met her a couple of times.
If it wasn't for her, a lot of the horror
movies that i'd that I watch now when I don't

(36:14):
watch them, but that I watched as a youth, I
would have never seen him. And I would have never
known about that genre like the way I know it now.
And I was thinking just randomly, my father. Back when
before the I was introduced to the world of independent cinema,
I didn't know that there were movies that didn't come
to every theater. And a movie came out called The

(36:36):
Gods Must Be Crazy masterpiece and this did not come
to know South Orange, New Jersey, and my father said,
we're going to go into New York to see a movie.
And I was like, why aren't going to New York
to see a movie? And he said, well, not all
movies come into our town. And there's a movie that
everyone's talking about we're gonna go see. So he took
me a little independent cinema in Manhattan and we saw

(36:56):
that movie, which I believe was a South African movie
where the coke bottle fall from falls from the sky. Yeah, yeah,
and it was one of the funniest, most brilliant movies
I'd ever seen. And uh, and it was like, it's
stioroughly good memory of my father introducing me to to
to an early version of independent cinema. Did you ever

(37:17):
see a Brother from Another Planet? The Brother from Another Planet?
Oh No, if you ever get a chance, go see
that one. That's we're giving we're giving our our our
listeners quite a good list of movies this uh, this podcast.
There's some good ones out there, guys, listen. If you
get a chance go see a Brother from another planet.
It stars Joe Morton, okay, and he literally is a
brother from another planet, the brother from another planet, and

(37:39):
one I remember one scene when I was a kid,
so before Harlem was gentrified, which it's very much now.
You know, all the white people used to get off
at ninety six Street if you were on the train, right,
no matter what line you were on, if there was
a ninety six street stop, all the white people would
get off because after that you were in Harlem. Right.
So there's this dude like trying to get off rights.

(38:00):
This dude on the train doing like tricks or something
like that, doing magic, and the brother from another planet
he doesn't speak that much, you know, he doesn't speak
English or anything like that. You know, when people ask
him where he came from, he just points to the sky.
And so the dude's trying to do all these tricks
and the brothers just not feeling it. And then finally
he goes. You know, you hear the conductors say next

(38:21):
stop ninety six street, and the white guy says to
the brother, he goes, you want to see me make
all the white people disappear, And everyone gets off at
nineties all the white people get off at ninety six Street,
And I remember as a kid, I used to I
remember getting on the train and getting I was very
young when the movie came out, and at ninety six Street.

(38:42):
If you were going downtown, all the white people got
on at ninety six streets. If you were going uptown,
all the white people got off at ninety six Street.
I remember this very much as a youth man. Wow,
so crazy a joke. I gotta see that. You've just
sold it to me. Donald, I'm watching it. If you
get it chance, Joe Morton brother from another planet. I

(39:02):
was laughing at thirteen fifty and there in the fantasy
where I'm teaching DJ Quals to ride a bike, because
I was laughing, going, I'm spoofing me at the age
I am now right right. That character I'm playing is
probably like a forty five year old dad like you
got this right, pushing his kid along. It's also it

(39:22):
also goes back to now you're doctor Cox, and it
goes to the grainy shot of you teaching the kid
how to ride a bike, where he's teaching you how
to throw a baseball. Didn't we do that one? You
know what I mean? Early on, So it's it's full
circle we do. Yeah, you know, I'm trying to be cocked.
I summon my inner doctor Cox in this episode so

(39:43):
much so that we mirror the pilot where I where
he fought. DJ's character finally has a moment of success
and I go, I cheer him on, and then he leaves.
And then and then Judy says, good ahead, and I
put my arms up in celebration, just like the pilot, right,
and then You're like, can you fix that for me
while I'm gone, Yeah, that's funny. I gave him a
peptog and then he still fucked it up. He never

(40:05):
comes back, That's what's crazy. He never came back after
this episode. None of them do. And other than other
than the love interest, then Kelly the love interest, none
of these characters came back. Yeah. I think DJ calls
at them. At that time. You know, his career was
on fire and he was just kind of coming by
to do a quick guest star role. Yeah. Um, then

(40:27):
you convinced Johnny C to show his ass, right, and um,
john C has a nice ass. I'm not gonna lie,
but it just didn't fit the character. So you like
Johnny seas ass. Though. It's not that I like Johnny
cs ass. It's just that you know, when you work
out that much, right, I mean, you could bounce, you could.
John C used to say that shit, you could bounce

(40:47):
a quarter off his ass. You know that, you know
that Johnny sees not the kind of guy who's skips
leg an ass day. Hell no, you know he doesn't.
You know far a fact he does, right, he got
this look. Man. When I started getting serious about working out,
I remember getting a text or call from Johnny C.
I was doing the Santa Monica stairs, and I guess
he drove by because Santa Monica and Malibu are very

(41:13):
close to each other. And I remember getting the call, Donald,
have you taken your workout to the next level? Did
I just drive by the Santa Monica stairs and see
you going up the Santa Monica stairs. I'm very proud
of you, Donald, I'm very very proud of you. You
gotta work the legs. You gotta work the legs. The
Johnny C told me that he listens to our podcast

(41:36):
as he's working out Tuesday and Thursday morning. So Johnny,
if you're listening to this, don't skip those squats. Buddy,
keep you he doesn't keep as keep that ass firm, Johnny.
Do a couple more reps. You could bounce a quarter
off of it. Yeah, can you still bounce a quarter, Johnny?
Or is it now just a penny solely? A penny
will bounce? Um? Also clueless. When I saw the pants drop,

(42:02):
I thought clueless right away? What is it with the
pants load thing? Okay, so this is where it's a
cultural thing. So in prison, they don't give you a belt,
they don't give you shoelaces because they're afraid that people
will hang themselves in their cells and stuff like that,
or use it as a weapon. Right, So you have
a bunch of people in prison walking around with their

(42:24):
pants sagging and their shoes not necessarily you know, flipping
flip flopping off their feet. So when we did Clueless,
this had been become a fashion statement in the inner city.
So like a lot of youth in the inner city
were wearing their pants sagging, just copying what they saw

(42:44):
from the ogs, you know what I mean? Right, right,
And so this became this became a thing, and did it? Yeah,
I think the FAD's gone away, right or no, do
you still still see people doing it. Well, I'm an
adult now I still see it. I'm an adult now,
I'm gonna grown man now, so I prefer if you
would have picked I don't want to see your underwear.
But when I was a youth, I was like, oh shit,

(43:06):
this you know this is I did it all the time,
so I know mine from an adult point of view though,
it's a pretty ridiculous style. Absolutely, but you have to
be an adult to be like I don't like that style,
of course, But I kid, you're like, look at all
the ogs did it? You know what I mean? There
was somebody did it, of course, and I'm sure that
I subscribe to some style that I would think is ridiculous.

(43:28):
Now very low v nex dude, I've seen you with
your pants sag and low too, So you can't not
like your character did in the show. Dude. Well, no,
not like that, but I've seen it. But I had
some embarrassingly low V nex did you really? Yeah? I
went through a low V neck phase. Do you like
a V neck? Did you? Well? Now you can't because

(43:49):
there are certain things that I used to do. A
cargo shorts, I guess are done. My girlfriend said, no way,
do you fucking can I wear those cargo shorts? You know?
When I wear cargo shorts when I go to play golf.
That's it. I think most women, and Joel, if you
wouldn't mind speaking on behalf of all women in the
world are pretty. Are pretty over cargo shorts. They're not.
They're not attractive on anybody. So yo, saggy leg. This

(44:14):
is when you knew cargo shorts was a rap. When
Adam Sandler stopped wearing cargo shorts, you knew. Okay, I
guess cargo shorts is over. Well, it's funny, it was
for years. It was like, I don't know if the
Grip and Electric guys are still wearing them, but that
was the go to uniform, was cargo shorts, right, even
in freezing weather. Yeah. And I had a bunch of them.
And I recently tried to pull out a bunch and

(44:38):
showed Flow and she said, do you have to take
those off immediately? Yeah? I agree, So they're done. But
I can't get I can't throw them away. I feel,
do you have stuff in your closet you cannot wear anymore?
But you're well, obviously we're looking at your closet, but
you cannot wear anymore. You're like, I can't wear those anymore,
but you just can't throw them away. They have nostalgia
for them. They might come back too. Yeah, and I'll
be fucking locked and loaded when cargo shorts come back.

(45:00):
All right, do we need to take a break, Joel
or what? We're gonna take a break, and when we
come back, we're gonna have a fan caller. Enjoy these
beautiful words. Dude can make that I'm good noise. We

(45:21):
used to donal and I used to make this noise
whenever Sarah was like it was like late and we
were all going stir crazy. We'd go and it would crack.
It would crack her up, and no one could hear it,
like the director or the producer of Randall. No one
could hear that we were doing it. And she'd be like,
stop doing that, and she'd be cracking up. Just back,
what are you talking about? Like, Sarah, everyone's tired. Do

(45:41):
you want to go home? Stop fucking up? And then
she started her line and we go, oh, I missed
that crazy girl. She's coming. She's coming on when when
Joel Friday, right, Friday's Krista, Oh yeah, next week we
got up. We got Sarah Chalk, the legendary Canadian. All right,

(46:02):
b J Mendelson. Okay, before we get into b J Mendelson,
I'm just gonna say this out loud. A lot of
people are getting pissed off at my Oprah shit. Why
because some people are mad that I'm saying doing the
Oprah stuff. No fuck that you're reading too many comments, Tode.
I know. I told you in the beginning of you're

(46:23):
you're doing two different dives. I engage with a little.
I engage a little, especially with the nice people, and
then you just dismount. You're like, you're like getting in
your head. Oh, your Oprah voice is one of the
reasons I come to work every day. Well, in that case,
give it up for BJ Mendelson. Hey, I didn't know

(46:45):
this was gonna be like a video thing, so I'm
like wearing my trashy shirt. You look great. We're gonna
apologize to our listeners that BJ doesn't have the ideal
the ideal set up because he has a microphone that's
a little wacky. But we're gonna fix it in post,
are you Dan? I am? That's why do you play?

(47:06):
What do you play? Bj? Cod I'm embarrassed to say Fortnite,
And I could tell you it was my nieces and
nephew that that got me into it because I let
me ask you a question. Do you default dance? I do? Okay?
Do you use Donald Stunt dance? That's the default dance? Okay? Sorry? Now,

(47:28):
now why are you embarrassed? BJ? I don't really know
much about gaming these days. Is Fortnite just meant for children? No?
Then why is he embarrassed about it? Because I made
a big stink about how much I do not like
Fortnite because they stole my dance. But I don't give
a shit. To be honest with you, I'm very very
very I'm very very happy that they stole my dance.

(47:50):
I think you were I think you were misquoted when
you caused a little controversy. You were joke. You were
sort of joking, and then there were people who were like,
if they take off that dance because of you? Fuck
you dude. They were I've never had more twelve year
old boys mad at me in my life. Yeah, dude,
well you threatened to take away their dance. I didn't threaten.
All I did was said. All I did was say

(48:12):
you know, they jacked it and then out of nowhere
like it was a bunch of kids like fuck you.
You has been It's because nobody watches your shit anymore.
You suck anyway. It's because what you didn't get any
money making scrubs. You didn't get any money making. You
get all riled up because you made a joke about
the Fortnite dance. And I'm fine with that, you know

(48:33):
what I mean, And and I'm fine with it being
the default dance. What are the other dances that BJ
could use? Well, there's the backpack Kids one where it's like,
oh yeah, backpack kid, and then you need to pay
more money for that. I don't know. I don't know
if that's something you want lock or not. I'm still
new to it. I am still like, as long as
you do with the Turk dance, it's all good. Yeah.

(48:55):
Do you find yourself BJ and Fortnite? Do you talk
to other people? No? I try not to. But that
was my big thing was I'm kind of just you know,
I'm an author, so I don't socialize well with others.
So playing like these online games where people are talking
shit to you is like a new experiencer especially when
you're thirty seven and have never played these things in

(49:17):
your life. So do you and do you choose to
not engage with angry twelve year olds? I try not to. Okay,
it's probably good. It's probably good. I think I would
get upset. And I think personally if I did it,
if somebody was like, fuck your mother, and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa,
I'm just trying to fucking save the world here, everybody
comment right, exactly the worst thing in the world to
hear a kid yelling at your trash. P me, pev pamy,

(49:39):
pav paymy. What does that mean? Pvpe me like, play
me like versus just okay, player first player BJ. Do
you play any other games besides Fortnite? Or is this
year right now? It's wild Fantasy seven? You're a role player?
Hold on, ye did you play Dungeon and Dragons growing up? I? No,

(50:00):
I was in Magic the Gathering Kids, same shit, same, yeah,
it is, It's true, that's cards. Yeah, yeah, that was
a difference. Got very addicted to the Star Wars role
playing game. Don what was that one? I remember that? Yeah?
When I was it was the Star Wars game. I
don't remember what it was called, but there were a
bunch of different ones. I even DM it. Oh my god,

(50:23):
Jedi Fallen Order, Donald, No, no, no, no. Jedi Fallen
Order is a video game. We used to play it
like it was Dungeons and Dragon. No. No, no, no no,
that's not what I mean. Okay, but what I'm talking
about in our adulthood during the time of Scrubs, you
were playing a Star Wars Galaxies. Yeah, Star Wars Galaxies
when that came out, I remember that game. I wish

(50:45):
they didn't cancel it because look, it started off just
as a role playing game that you would play on
different planets, and then they introduced being able to fly
in ships, right, And I remember at one point I
got to talk to one of the head developers of
the game, and I was like, you should make it
so that you could jump in ships on the ground

(51:06):
and fly in atmosphere and then from atmosphere take it
to space. And then the game freaking failed eventually. But
how can a Star Wars game fail? It just doesn't
seem like it's possible. You know, you change it enough
times and then people lose interests. You know. What happens
is is that it starts off and it's pure, and

(51:26):
then you start adding things. And once you start adding things,
you know, people lose interest after a while, you know.
Perfect example, George Lucas with the original series, with the
original trilogy, it was, you know, it was shot a
certain way, and he wasn't happy with it, so he

(51:48):
started adding things. And the more he added, it seemed
like the more fans were like, I don't like that.
I don't like that. You don't need to add now.
For me, I like the adding. I like that he
added things because it made it cleaner, and it made
it faster, and it made it you know, if you
watch the original and New Hope, it's not as the

(52:08):
special effects in it aren't as glorious as they are
now when you watch it on Disney. Plus that being said,
there are a lot of people that don't like that,
do not like him going and retouching. I for one,
do like the retouch I think I think there are
certain movies that still like. People got mad when they

(52:31):
retouched et you know what I mean. I, for one,
wasn't that mad at it. I'm gonna be honest. All right, Well,
we should probably ask BJ some of his thoughts yea,
though this is a rarity. I usually everyone I encounter
hates the touch ups to the original trilogy. I don't
mind them at all. The only one that I freak
out about is the one everyone freaks out about with

(52:51):
great those shooting first, right, that's bullshit, come out, yeah right,
like that's the old the rest of it. I really
I remember getting in line at this theater when they
at least because forty, I wasn't old enough pretty riginal
Star Wars. So when they see you're pretty close to
it though, right, you said you're thirty, I just yeah,
I just turned thirty seven, so nine years younger than
us or so. Yeah. So my like my first Star

(53:12):
Wars is the Phantom Menace, which is I'm ashamed to
say that out loud, dude, you shouldn't be, because the
Phantom Menaces new energy behind it thanks to Dave Filoni.
But okay, true, true, and plus it had the great
odd racing and sixty four game right well, which was amazing.
But I liked all the touch ups that they because
to me, it was like, all right, it looks like

(53:33):
everything else because when I remember watching on VHS, I
kind of fell asleep, right because it didn't look you know,
when I was literally didn't look as crisp as some
many other things that I was used to seeing at
that age. Right, where do you live, BJ, I'm up
in Monroe, New York, which is if anyone knows what
Woodberry Commons is, it's a large tourist trap. Okay, said
you're a writer, are you? Are you a novelist? Yeah?

(53:55):
So I'm the author of a book called Social Media
is Bullshit. I wrote it in plenty twelve, so I
was a little out of its time. I'm happy to
give it away for free. If anyone wants a free copy,
all they have to do is just hit me up
on Twitter. It's like I said, it's an older book. Ironically,
they're gonna have to hit you up on social media. Right.
So that was the thing that was the thing that
I got a lot when it came out, was it
was like, oh, hey, well, you know you've got this

(54:16):
big presence on Twitter, but social media is bullshit. And
when I said, people, was it not the tools? That's
how you use it. And that's the part that where
you run intold this bullshit. Yeah, bid dad, I feel
like you'd be a guest and we could just talk
to for hours about Yeah, as long as you guys
don't go down in the Star Wars root every fucking
five minutes, because I see I see Joel like nodding again,

(54:37):
like she's like as though she's yelling preach when you
guys start to talk. So yeah, she's got her hand
up in the air, like you preach. I gotta tell you,
I gotta tell you for the it's it's scrub. Yes, yes, please.
I have never felt so old, and now you know,
knowing that you guys older than I am, I can
only mention how you could feel. I was pitching this

(54:58):
TV show and I can't, you know, can't say too
much about it. But what I can't say is that
it's about the six million dollars man, because we just
pitched it live on this show, So don't steal that,
all right again, it totally should be. It totally should be.
That's due for a remake, although we've inflation. I think
you might have to adjust it slightly. Yeah, said, we
said you wouldn't get very far with rebuilding him for
six minutes. Maybe his feet, Yeah, you would get the feet,

(55:19):
maybe like the decas he would just fall over a lot.
Uh so, but this kid, the kid, the kid that
would start in the show, is only like twenty and
twenty one. And so as I was going through with
him and explaining like the look and to feel, I
was like, you know, it's it's a lot like Scrub
season one and Scrub season eight, where it's a little goofy,
but it's also got like a little bit of darkness
to it. And he was humoring me. He's like, oh, yeah, yeah,

(55:41):
I remember Scrubs. And then uh like got off the
phone and the producer calls me right back and he's
like he has no idea what the fuck Scrubs it? Like,
like what Scrubs was on? He was maybe too And
for me, like is this kid a successful actor? He
is a successful TikTok star. Oh well yeah, yeah right,
Like yeah, so on the way, Donald, TikTok was out

(56:04):
when when you were young, you would have been a
TikTok star because you all would have been TikTok. No,
but I can't dance like you can do those moves, dude, No,
but you would have. You would have figured out a
way to freaking look man, you did Garden State. You
would have figured out a way to make a fucking
movie on TikTok that everybody loved, even if it was,
like you know, only however long TikTok allows it, you

(56:25):
would have figured out a way. You're a very bright boy,
Thank you, very bright. Do you do you ever see
that video of the girl on TikTok and she's like
vent viral. She's sobbing, but she's still doing her TikTok
dance for the song and some comedian I forgot, I
don't know who it was, but they wrote like maybe
maybe wait till you're done with your breakdown, until you
to do the dance. But she's trying to make a

(56:46):
point that like I'm still gonna dance through this sad
moment and she's doing all the choreography but she's bawling.
I've never seen this. Have you got a BJ Have
you seen that I have? I gotta tell you I
tried like hell to avoid TikTok and snapchat, but it's
the thess nephews there that age group where that's all
there on. Look at my daughter, that's all she watched.
My daughter, not my not my not my five year old,

(57:09):
but my twenty one year old just walks through the house. Dad,
you gotta check this out. And it's nothing but TikTok
shit Like it's so much. I would get my daughter
up my five year old up here right now. But
my twenty one year old daughter has corrupted Kaya has
corrupted Wilder so much that Wilder is now doing the
Savage challenge. I'm a savage, classy bougie ratchet. Can you

(57:34):
get her up here? We got to hear it. Hold up, Wilder,
this might be worth it. BJ You're about to get
a special. She's warming up because she used to she
used to know. She used to not perform on cue.
But we're gonna turn her into a We're gonna turn

(57:55):
her into a child actress. If it's the death of us,
that's that's fantastic. That guy have to tell you. Um
so that just real quick. The Garden State soundtrack for
my college radio station was all that they would play
when it came out, So I just I would I
feel obligated to share that with you than welcome to
come back? Thank you? Yeah? Yeah, it was Donald jokes

(58:17):
that I want to grab me for a mixtape, but
it's He's right. It was just the music I was
me and my friends were listening to and it felt
really appropriate for the UH, for the era that the
film was about. And then UH, with the help of
my editor Myron Kirsteine, Um, he really gets all the
credit for putting them in the right spots. He I made.
I just made a giant playlist, and then I'd let

(58:38):
him go attack some scenes and then he'd come back
and he'd go, Dude, I've just put the Paul Simon
song on this moment, and you got to see it.
And I would watch it and get goosebumps up and
down my arms, like, yeah, we're never gonna be able
to get that song. But that's a key ber. Oh,
there's Rocko, there's Roco none, hold on, come on, all right,

(59:01):
all right Wilder by Wilder performed backup. You don't need
the music. He's just doing without the music. Ready, all right,
go five, six, seven, eight. I'm savash Cassie Bratcher, sassy,
nasty hacking, I'm savash thunderous of clause? Are you kidding me?

(59:32):
All right? Okay, so now I got Look, I'm gonna
show you who's all in here. Now. I got the
whole family in here, just to see everybody's here. I'm
bob okay, okay, all right, all right, get him out,
pull him out. Back to the bouncy you guys wet

(59:57):
this whole room up. Humh. Back to the bouncy castle.
They're they're, they're I don't I don't know this song,
but it doesn't seem that it's necessarily appropriate for a
five year old to sing the lyrics twenty one year
old who's who's watching TikTok like twenty four to seven?
And so because of that, can you talk me through
the lyrics of this this song? It's it's uh Mega Stallion, right,

(01:00:20):
and she now has a remix with her and Beyonce
Oka Beyonce as how would say Rest in Peace My father?
And uh the chorus is I'm a savage? Uh uh,
what is it? I'm a savage classy boogie ratchet? Uh? Now,

(01:00:47):
what does ratchet mean? Ratchet is like when you're like,
that's ratchet, yo, You're ratchet? Isn't necessary? Is typing out
the lyrics for you? Donald sat moody, nasty, acting stupid?
What's happening? What's happening? I don't know how I feel
about my little god dollars saying sassy, maddy, nasty, moody,

(01:01:09):
moody moody. Oh sorry, well it's Joelle's TYPEO, not mine.
I thought maddy was a new word. No moody, sassy, moody, ratchet,
no acting stupid was happening? Savage passie boogie. BJ's like,
what did I get into? This is what it is?

(01:01:31):
Like we forgot about question. This is exactly what I'm
going through right now. Like, so, we had this song
lild Life. Uh Olivia, she's five, he's really inso it
and you know, the lyrics are probably not terribly appropriate
for a five year old, so we had to like
a mending say, know though the song is called low light.
So I know this whole thing very well. Like BJ, A,

(01:01:54):
you have any questions, Yeah, So I don't know way
to start because just to get people contact guy, it's
it's I've got the fan going soefully you guys can't
hear it too much. I can't feel the fan, PJ.
Can you turn it a little to so it just
just for context. So going through, Uh so I used
to be married and going through. We got married just
as the recession started, so we didn't have a lot

(01:02:16):
of stuff but we did have Scrubs dvdews, so that
was pretty much we would watch did you give him
or her? When in the breakup? Did you give him
or her? Season nine? Uh? I actually liked season nine.
I know that Donald has two do you do Okay?
I can't say my needs his attention? I think you
do it all the time. Okay, great. So I know

(01:02:38):
this has been said elsewhere by other people, like had
it had a different title, um, it would have been successful.
But I think because it was still called Scrubs, called
the Shipman, called Dave Franco, Yeah, it was a little
too much Dave Ranco, Donald Phazon as squeech right, But
I get it's very solid it. You know, the shows

(01:03:00):
up really well. The season nine holds up. I feel
pretty well. Did There is probably a little too much
day Franco for me. He was like, to me, it's
a more like annoying character, right right, But so to me, like,
the big question I feel like is how do you
think to show has held up? Because today the episode
that we were going to talk about, there's a whole
scene funce with doctor Cox and the and the doctor,

(01:03:22):
the young doctor, and I feel like today I don't
know if you'd be able to do that story well beyea.
You know, there are a lot of things that don't
necessarily uh hold up with what's going on today with
the show. You know, Cox calling j D a girl's
name all the time might be you know, offensive to
some Yeah, you could catch offense to that. Zach and

(01:03:45):
I had a conversation about that. We were like, you
know what, we know where the show has its moments
where we're like, oh boy, but maybe you know, if
we're if everybody's true fans the show and was watching
it back then and doesn't have a problem didn't have
a problem with it back then, I don't necessarily think

(01:04:06):
it behooves us to continue to talk about what you know,
the past. You know, it was made at a certain time,
you know what I mean. I don't know how to
I don't know. But to your point, I don't know
that Again, who knows that someone might find offense to
doctor Cox flirting with a co worker. I don't know.

(01:04:27):
I think it was done in a pretty h clearly
consensual way. She was flirting right back with him, and
well and says Turke even says, you know this is
highly inappropriate and you shouldn't be doing this. And you
know better than this, doctor Cox, and it's and and
to the and to his intern And if you're supposed
to say anything to you're supposed to be uh worshiping

(01:04:49):
me and you know the knowledge I have and not
shape being love struck with this, you know, senior resident
in the house. But for what it's worth, he then
doesn't have courage or whatever. And he's still obsessed with Judy,
I guess. And he walks off, and that's she that
shows up at his door. Remember that. No, yeah, I

(01:05:11):
think he told I think BJ totally gets it. But yeah,
I'm saying it to you. She's the she becomes the aggressor.
And then he gets up and says something no man
would ever say to a woman. He says, uh, I'm
using you to get past another person. That was fucking
nuts that any human being would say that to someone.
But then she's like, I don't care, let's hook up.

(01:05:32):
That's not why I'm here, right. Yeah. My whole deal is,
you know, you have to look at things with the
time that they were producer, and that doesn't excuse like
like it really agreed to stuff. We had a title
come out cereal Box is recently called Knox, which deals
with all the HP Lovecraft, you know, like the dark
and mysterious tentacles and enemies from other dimensions. And so

(01:05:52):
the way I describe it to people, as you know,
it's HP Lovecraft about the anti Semitism, like it's taking,
it's taking like the best parts of it. And so
you know, if you look at his stuff in that context,
you can't excuse like the bladed bigotry. That's, well, you're
you're you said you're an LGBTQ, yes, activist. So there's
plenty of stuff that I imagine some would find defensive.

(01:06:14):
In nine years of this show, the calling of JD
this sort of um, it was considered derogatory to be
called a girl's name. I mean, how does how does
something like that? I thought that held up to me.
I thought that, hell, because it's within the character that
it works. That makes sense that he It's just the
character is dead set. I'm belittle and j D in
any way that he can. And you know that, and

(01:06:36):
in his mind and coxed his mind, I was belittling exactly,
and wasn't It didn't come off as like malicious in
that he meant it as a anti case slur, like
he just meant it as this I'm just gonna chip
you down. I'm just gonna keep chipping away into So
I think it really comes from the character. And as
long as the character isn't like a blatantly racist or something,

(01:06:57):
which is the case thought the Coxes, And uh, it's fine.
I know that I know that there's there's certainly people
that would be offended by it, and I understand that.
But to me, if as long as it fits within
the nature of the character, you think, it's okay, all right,
all right? Do you have another question for the legendary
Donald Phazon or Zach Braff Sassy Boogie Ratchett. What's happening, Madi?

(01:07:21):
You sound like you sound like Rocco. So Rocco doesn't
like the song at all because he doesn't like the
dance or anything like that. Right, so he'll be like,
I'm a savage ratchet acid Dukie rockets at a stage
where if you just want to savage out of something,
say poopy or coca right, anything anything. He sometimes looked, Man,

(01:07:44):
you've you've heard my son. I've taught him some words
that I'm I should never have taught. Man, it's like
a parrot. You never want to teach a parrot. Curse
for I taught him some words, and now I'm like,
I should have never done it, And when he goes
back to school, I'm so worried. Yeah, well, for now
it's your problem, yes, J go ahead. Yeah, So you
mentioned in the divorce that did they get season nine?

(01:08:05):
I was actually gonna give them season seven for the
writer's strike, and I was just always fascinated by the
whole thing with you guys having to stop mid season
and just trying to adjust that. I don't remember. Maybe
you guys can provide the context of that. So the
season shut down and then you had to go back
and finish the episodes. Was that sort of the deal

(01:08:26):
on that? I don't really remember. I know that I
know that Hollywood was shut down for the writer's strike
and we didn't work. Then we went back. Why are
you are you saying that you you can notice the
difference in the in the quality because of that crazy time. Yeah.
I think that if those episodes were done in any
other context, they would have been great. But there's something

(01:08:46):
that feels off to them as you're watching them that
could just be going in with the context of, oh,
this was done when the writers weren't there, or this
was sort of just done under nothing would be done
without the writers being there. You know, this is a
this is a really good bill. Oh great, we can
do our Ask Bill, this is a really good bill. Question. So, BJ,
why don't you direct it directly to Bill Lawrence, the

(01:09:08):
show's creator. You ask him? It's a good question. Yeah,
So Bill, season seven, if you had to do over,
would you feel that it would come out differently? And
then the way it did being produced in the writer strike.
I think that's a good play. That that is good.
And then Bill will will Bill answer it? Now? Knowing Bill,
knowing Bill, he'll answer the start with a joke. Let's all,

(01:09:29):
let's all see if he does this all open with
a joke. Then he'll give a very heartfelt, serious answer,
and then he'll end by yelling five six seventy eight.
We'll see, we'll see see. I hope I'll live up
to that. Do I think season seven would have been
different without the right Yeah, because you got to remember,
not only did the strike muck everything up um so
much so NBC even rejiggered the order of the episodes.

(01:09:51):
I think they aired that Princess Bride homage like it
was this show's finale, just in case it was the
show's finale when it wasn't supposed to. I mean, we
were heading the finale was always going to be that
end of season eight episode that was already written in
my head, and we just never got to do it
that year. It was such a drag. Also, you got
to remember, man, during that whole lead up to the strike,

(01:10:14):
it was such a weird writer's room because we're all
hustling and worried about losing our jobs and worried about
not working and all that stuff. So it was definitely
screwed up on one of them on record that I
didn't do the number que for the song because it'll
get stale if I do it too often. But I'm
coming back with a vengeance. See. I remember when the

(01:10:35):
writers strike happened, and I remember the one thing that
I remembered the most about the writers strike was thinking,
holy cow, we're not going to work for a while,
and does this mean this is the end of the show,
because you know, at this point, you know, studios were
studios weren't necessarily behind writers striking and everything like that.

(01:10:59):
And I worried at that point, does this mean that
Scrubs isn't coming back? Are you know? And I remember
I remember marching with Bill all the way to Universal Studios.
Now we all went and marched on the line with everybody,
and and thinking is this something that the studio is
going to look back at and be like, well, We're
not going to bring back Scrubs because they were a
part of the writers strike. We're not going to bring

(01:11:20):
back Brooklyn ninety nine because they were a part of
the you know what I mean. Like now, by the way,
you know, shows are dropping because of this because of COVID,
and and Broadway shows are closing because of COVID because
they because they know they can't. Frozen is done because
of COVID, Yeah, and others and shows are getting canceled.
Emergence a amazing show, Emergence starring Well, I don't know

(01:11:41):
if Emergence got canceled because of COVID or if Emergence
got you know, ABC doesn't have to give a reason
for why they canceled the show. Have you watched Emergence?
I have, Uh I didn't. It didn't take for me.
Ah Bj, You're done. No, I'm just joking. I'm just
don't hate on Jing. It didn't take for me. I

(01:12:03):
wrote the cast, great, great actors. Yeah, I find I
find a lot of TV shows that come out of
the broadcast that works that usually the cast is great,
but for whatever reason, there's just something that doesn't click
for me the way down. Well, I think what happens
is that just sort of stereotypically there there's a lot
of chefs in the kitchen on broadcast and now more

(01:12:24):
and more, um the the showrunner and directors are given
long leashes in on streaming platforms, and there's a voice
to be had. They want a voice, was the voice
behind the show. That's what they're interested in, especially all
these sort of comedies we all love on on on
things like you know, perfect example is is Atlanta? For me,

(01:12:46):
it's like so clearly someone's taste and voice and uh
and that's hard to find on broadcast talents of course,
because there's nine thousand people weighing in. It just becomes
a fucking muddy stew So I feel that way about
Dave on FXX. Like it or you don't like it?
I love it? Oh good good? I get a whole
ad for Dave on here. It's so good, Davis. I

(01:13:07):
can't get Donald, who would love it more than any
of us, to watch it, because he's too busy fucking
doing whatever he's doing raising kids. Yo. No, I'm raising kids.
They're going to sleep at what time? Seven thirty? And
then I want to go to bed, buddy? What time
you get to bed? What time it's lights out? Eight thirty? No? Yeah, man,
you turn out your lights at eight thirty, eight thirty,

(01:13:28):
nine o'clock. I'm most likely on my way upstairs to
go to sleep. Wow, it's crazy, dude. Listen man. As
much as as much as I'm a as, I'll tell
you right now. I love my children. I love everything
about being a dad and and all of that stuff.
But I said it before. I miss waking up at
noon and not having anything to do other than hang

(01:13:51):
out with my wife. You know what I mean. I
missed that shit. Um Every every week Donald makes um
having children seem less and less appealing. Now now I
don't want to go back to that. I don't want
I don't want to. You know, the grass is always greener.
I would prefer to wake my son walking in my

(01:14:12):
room at five thirty in the morning every day saying
can I have cinnamon toast crunch. I prefer that over
being at Orlando Jones's pool till right exactly till four
o'clock in the morning. But you know it's it's I
do miss that moment in time where it was just

(01:14:34):
I didn't have to worry about a lot of things,
you know what I mean, And I worry about everything now. Well,
you're in a new chapter of your lifetib this is
this is forty six. Yeah, you know, and when I
was a young dad, it seemed a lot easier. It
seems way more difficult now. Man, I don't know bj
you have kids, right, No, I'm child free us he

(01:14:56):
was talking about it. Yea. I love kids. I love
my niece is Zepi's more than anything in the world.
I think kids are just the best look for me.
I decided to deal. I want to be environmentally friendly,
and I know it's cookies. It sounds um So I
took that, took that like reduce your carbon footprint thing
really seriously and just decided, you had kids, I don't

(01:15:18):
know what kind of world they would get into, So
I decided not to do it. It's a little too
deep and serious. Yeah, go out with one happy question
because we're going along wrap it up. Yes, you've been
a great guest. I gotta say Donald hasn't been a
great guest. BJ. I'm gonna be honest with you. So far,
favorite call in every Yeah, I think I'm gonna I'm
gonna think for a second. Yeah, I think BJ's definitely

(01:15:40):
top two or three. Two, I'm gonna give the number one. Well,
you know what, No, before you give it to him,
Before you give it to him, Let's see what the
final question is. Yes, No, thank you guys, because I,
like I said, I spent uh craps on the time
with the X watching you. So it was cool just
being able to experience a few mens hanging out. My
last question for you is the world where even like

(01:16:03):
the most Mike Chris Coppic show gonna remember gets the movie.
You've probably gotten this a lot, but do you envision
a scenario where there might be more scrubs? And I
know that it's such a fanily question to ask, but
I had to ask it. No, it's a great question.
I think there's a world. It was we did the
view today and whoopee Goldberg said, you know Oscar nomine

(01:16:25):
whoope Goldberg? Well e got oh he got winner, he
got winner. Whoopee Goldar. Sorry, I'm sorry she has the
four of them together. I didn't know she was an egot. Yeah,
she she she that's the reason she's got the Tony,
the Emmy, the Graham and the Oscar. What does she
have an oscar for? Oh? Ghosts ghost Oh wow, don't

(01:16:52):
get us going on Color Purple. We did a whole
we did a whole episode. Listen, we love us. Yeah,
don't get don't don't, don't, don't get good Donald doing
Oprah's monologue again. Because she was Gideon for me, You're like,
I grew up with her next generation. Yes, she was
great on that too. Did you ever see her one
woman Broadway show that you can see? That's what she
won the Tony four. I think it was nineteen eighty five. Um,

(01:17:15):
it was Whoopie Goldberg's one woman Broadway show. And she
does all these characters, and I'm telling you find it.
It is a fucking masterpiece. It's one of the she is.
She is by far like she is, she's better. I'm
not me. I don't mean to Disk the View because
the View is the View and it's like the most
popular daytime show. But I wish that Whoopee was still
acting because she's so incredibly talented. She's one of the

(01:17:40):
She's one in my opinion, she's one of the best ever. Anyway,
you made me want to go back and watch Star
Trek the Next Generation now because I used to watch
that show. Great. Watch Donald I did Great. Remember the
episode where Pricard is being tortured and he's like, there
for lights? Yeah, by the board? Is he being by

(01:18:00):
the board? Yeah? Um. Anyway, she was like, Whoopee was like, look,
I'm a huge fan. I was a huge fan of
the show. I think y'all should make a Scrubs movie. Yeah.
We talk about that, you know, because I point to
psych who's now made two successful films, and um, it
would be fun. I think it'd be fun for us

(01:18:21):
to do all do something like that. We just have
to get Disney to be into it and Bill Lawrence
to be into it, and I think it'll happen. They're
the fans. The fans seem to really want it to happen.
The fans wanted a rewatch show, and they got that
so yes, we're giving the people what they want. BJ,
You've been an outstanding guest. You're Donald's favorite guest of
all time, favorite calling calling guests, favorite calling favorite Collin, BJ.

(01:18:45):
We got to qualify it, and no doubt, Uh no,
I think you asked smart questions. You seem like a
very intelligent man. You gave thoughtful discourse. What else Donald
and he knew about Star Wars? Yeah, you know about
Star Wars. That's why Donald likes you. And you had
Well waving her hands like she was saying preach in
the background. Thanks for coming on, man, have a great day,
stay safe, and Donald, I think I successfully cheered you up.

(01:19:11):
You started a little bit sour today, but I think
that we really brought you around. You know, I'm going
to tell you something, go ahead. It was a great
distraction to day. Man. It was a great distraction to
sit here and talk with you today. I needed it. Well,
that's why we're here for the people. Donald. We we
didn't think that this would be a quarantine show, but

(01:19:33):
since it is, we hope that we're helping you stop
thinking about nonsense in your life for an hour and
a half or so. Yeah, but just on a personal
level today. I was very, very very you know, and
I'm gonna go back into it after we after we
wrapped the episode. But I was very very I don't know,
I was I wasn't having a great day and melancholic. Yes,

(01:19:57):
I was very melancholic. I the melancholy was if I
could play a song, it would be a Josh Raiden song.
Right now, I hear you. Well, listen, now you're gonna
now that the episode is over and you've had so
much fun, You're I'm gonna go out and play with
the kids. He's gonna play with the kids on the water,
the water bouncy house. Yeah. And then when you're gonna say,

(01:20:18):
and your daughter's gonna do Sassy Maddy Nasty, She's gonna
sing a little Meg the Stallion and I'm gonna sing
this is how we do it. This has been a
fag doctors, real friends. We hope you had a great
experience with us today. Follow Donald on Instagram. He's got
envy of my followers and I am an nbs of

(01:20:39):
your followers. Men, Listen, you have one point something MILLI.
I can't share them. It's not like monopoly where I
can just give you some properties dude, you you talk
your followers, listen, just tell all right, come over. If
you're follow Donald Underscore aison, that's probably why they can't
find you. Got some weird spelling. I was drunk, Okay,
The truth behind it is he's drunk the day I

(01:21:01):
created my enter my my inster handle, Yeah my handle,
and I thought I was hitting F and I hit
underscore Danley. Kids, don't drink and create a handle or
aison or drinking create a handle. Who cares. We hope
we left you happy. We hope you left you smiling.
Thank you to BJ, Thank you to Joel, Thank you

(01:21:22):
to Dan, Thank you to Will. Thank you to Will
Pearson at I heeart and tell you what. Email us
at scrubs iHeart gmail dot com. Joel will sift through
your questions and see if you're as worthy as BJ was.
Donald's hit him with the numbers six heaven, Hey, sesbut shore,
we made about a bunch of dots and nurses said stories.

(01:21:52):
So data around you here? Are yead around here even

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Donald Faison

Zach Braff

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