2023: My Gynecologist With Dr. Jen Gunter

On this week's episode, we've invited the author of the Vagina Bible and the Menopause Manifesto, Dr. Jen Gunter, to answer all our vagina-related questions. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, hey, hey, bad bad, bad, bad boys.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Something's going on with Apple, because no hard drive works
on any of my computers now. In the past six
days when they announced that the new phone was coming out,
shit has been fucking up my external hard drive. I
can't connect it anymore, and all of a sudden, this
new update came out today.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
And I'm just saying, so, are you saying there's a conspiracy,
Donald to make all of your shit not work? Is
Tim Cook behind this? Donald?

Speaker 2 (00:34):
I don't know if Tim Cook is behind this, but
I will say this, my wife can't connect to a
hard drive all of a sudden, Like I don't know
if everybody else is having this problem.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
In my own mind, I think this might be what's
called an anecdotal experience. Donald, you are having a problem,
and you have because you also enjoy the cannabis. You
think the world is having the same problem.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
I'm asking a question right now, is anyone else having
problems with there?

Speaker 3 (01:04):
Can?

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Do you want me to get Tim Cook on the
phone because I do a Tim Cook. I do a
Tim Cook impression? Can I do a Tim Cook? I
do it, Tim.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
I'm calling him now, hold on.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
It's similar to the other impression. I do hold Upah,
go ahead, Hello Donald, This says Tim Cook.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Tim, how'd you know it was me?

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Because I saw your face come up on my phone?

Speaker 3 (01:33):
What the fuck is going on with the computers right now? Tim?
What's going on?

Speaker 1 (01:37):
Donald? That's just you? Everybody else is fun?

Speaker 2 (01:41):
Really, I find that hard to believe. Daniel was having
a technical difficulty right before.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
Now we started.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Daniel is a loyal customer. He would never bespirch my name.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
Tim.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
All right, Tim, all I got. I can only do
that fifteen.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
That's all I gotta say.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
You don't want that new phone. There's the I saw online.
There's no difference between except for it. I mean, what's different?

Speaker 3 (02:03):
All the update all the updates came through on the fourteen.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Look at look at the tective Wizard saying, there's nothing
different about it.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
All the updates came through on the on the fourteen
also though, So like if you have fourteen, Yeah, if
you have a fourteen, and that new download came through,
all the things that are on the fifteen pretty much
except for the hardware, all of the software you can
now run on your fourteen.

Speaker 4 (02:26):
So you're talking about iOS seventeen.

Speaker 3 (02:28):
Yeah, So like.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Computer to compute phone. The phone now that exists on
your iPhone.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Oh that's cool. Yeah, I like to think about being
a listening to video voicemail. I like that.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yeah, that now exists on your iPhone.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
I know, but I haven't updated because everyone said, not everyone,
I'm doing what you did. An anecdotal incident occurred and
someone told me, don't update. It's buggy.

Speaker 4 (02:51):
That's that's my mantra for the first couple of weeks
of any big Apple upgrade. It's like new iOS, like
I'm going to wait two weeks, yeah, because they'll.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
Release about this.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
How about fuck y'all and not bestowing this information on me.
I feel like Joel's going through the same shit that
I'm going through right now, and she is not happy
about it.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Weigh in Joel.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
Joel is shaking her head and eating. Sorry Joe, Joelle,
please don't eat during the program and the listeners tune
in from all over the world to hear your life.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
You muck bang all you want muck bang, do.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Not, Joel. This is not a muck bang podcast.

Speaker 5 (03:25):
I cover the mic, got you away from the mic.
Hopefully don't hurt me.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
You're doing that.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
I'll cut it out, no, I.

Speaker 5 (03:30):
Thieving happened, and now I'm I'm a little bummed. I
have not done the Apple update because my phone wasn't
plugged in last night. I will turn off the automatic
updates so it's to avoid any bugginess.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
I saw this meme that was funny. It was like,
how come every time there's an update, Apples tells you like,
we're going to do an update tonight, and then you
wake up and it's like, we couldn't do it, and
it's like, what did I sleep wrong? And I found
that very relatable because every time it tells me it's
going to do an update, it's like, I couldn't do it.
But your wife told me something on FaceTime today. You

(04:05):
might want to share with the audience. It's way more
interesting than this she told.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
She told Zach that she's trying to give quality over quantity.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
Right.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
I got on her FaceTime today and they were all
cuddled up like they like basically like they must have
been post coital, like they were.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
Closed we were about to do it.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
The vibe is like, you know, I don't know if
you have a FaceTime a couple, but where the energy
is coming through the FaceTime, like these two either just
banged or they're about to bang, because the vibe was
palpable Casey and Casey kind of cuddled up into his arm.

Speaker 5 (04:40):
I was.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
And then she goes, she goes, I'm trying to turn
She goes, I'm trying to make him into quality over quantity.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
Look, so we go bang, and afterwards she goes, I
gotta be honest with you. I did a little bit
more than I wanted to do.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
Word too much, quality, too much.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
She gave so much quality that she she she said,
next time, you're not going to get that level.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
She was like, she was like, I might have gone
a little overboard today. Wow, don't get used to.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
What you just Yeah, I see, so what you just
got Her quality went so high that she was like,
don't think this is going to be the standard of
the quality.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
This is the standard of quality. That was some super
duper special quality you just got.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
Just that's hilarious. Listen, I love that. You guys have
been married years.

Speaker 3 (05:32):
Let me see her. She's still here.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
No, no, no, such a great doctor and my wife has such.

Speaker 3 (05:38):
A great vagina. Let me go get her. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (05:41):
Okay, all right, all right, play the song. Play the song.
Here she comes, Casey, come down here.

Speaker 6 (05:50):
I don't know nothing about raising these cools, So tell
me what to do about raising these kids.

Speaker 3 (05:57):
And that's what it is.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Donald told the audience that.

Speaker 3 (06:02):
That you played a song Daniel.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah. Donald. Donald told the audience that y'all had a
session today and that you said you're gonna give quality
over quantity, and then you said you may have given
too high a quality and you had regrets about the
level of quality that you gave because it was too good.

Speaker 7 (06:19):
It was too good, it was it was so good
that you don't want You can't even walk.

Speaker 5 (06:26):
Through the house.

Speaker 7 (06:30):
Guys, I don't know what to do about this. I
think your next guest needs to be like a sex
therapist or something.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
We have a we have a vagina gynecologist specialist college.

Speaker 5 (06:40):
He wrote the vagina Bible.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
Literally, we have a gynecologist on today.

Speaker 8 (06:44):
About sex stuff.

Speaker 7 (06:46):
Yeah, I mean, well, what is she going to tell
me about a guy of college?

Speaker 3 (06:51):
I have it?

Speaker 7 (06:52):
Do y'all know what a guynecologist is?

Speaker 1 (06:53):
Yes, I'm a I'm a fake doctor, you realize. I
think that I think the gynecologist might educate Donald and
I on things that women wish men knew, that's what
our goal is.

Speaker 8 (07:05):
Oh, okay, Well, you know what I think you should
talk to her?

Speaker 3 (07:08):
Is it a woman?

Speaker 7 (07:09):
Talk to her about about the woman in her mid
forties going through like changes and stuff like. That's one
thing that Donald and I he doesn't seem to wrap
his head around, is that things are going on right
now with me that are a little different and I
don't necessarily feel like fucking twenty four to seven.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
You know, that's a good question for her.

Speaker 7 (07:34):
Yeah, Like, I think she needs to like explain to
maybe not all of y'all, just.

Speaker 1 (07:40):
To Donald, Well, do you want her to have an
interven she would talk?

Speaker 3 (07:44):
So, I think so.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
I mean, I know one other questions I know this
is actually helpful. What other questions do you will ask
her about women and their changes in their forties? What
other questions do you think we should ask her that
women wish men knew?

Speaker 8 (07:59):
Oh god, we could be here all day.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
Well we're going to be here for an hour, so
we have time.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
Go ahead, what do you wish I'm trying to.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
Well, Sexually, is there anything that like, obviously you and
your partner, Oh my god, sexually, you and your partner
obviously have a have it figured out. But is there
anything like as you were growing up or as you
were as you were hooking up as a young woman
that you wish men got and understood better.

Speaker 7 (08:26):
Oh god, I wish I understood better.

Speaker 3 (08:29):
That.

Speaker 8 (08:30):
I don't eat that.

Speaker 7 (08:31):
It's more, it's just as much me as him, you
know what I mean. Like I think back to when
I was having sex when I was younger, and I thought,
oh my god, this is good. I'm totally getting off,
and no, wasn't.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
Wasn't at all. I loved it and I enjoyed it.

Speaker 7 (08:50):
But I didn't realize, oh, like I can actually take
myself there and do this myself with my mind, you know.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
All right, well you think about we gotta let her
in because she's in the waiting room. But thank you, Casey,
and thank you for all this information. Case bye, guys, Hey,
play the song down, play the song, Casey.

Speaker 6 (09:11):
Come down here. I don't know nothing about raising these schools.

Speaker 3 (09:16):
So tell me what to do.

Speaker 6 (09:18):
Don't know nothing about raising these kids, And that's what
it is.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
Spy Woy puts you on no damn spot, woman, I
know everything about my bag.

Speaker 7 (09:32):
Do you need a pen and paper?

Speaker 3 (09:39):
And paper?

Speaker 1 (09:39):
That is hilarious. Okay, Donald tons five six.

Speaker 9 (09:44):
Seven stories about show we made about a bunch of
times and nurses. He said, here's the stories nets so
rad here.

Speaker 3 (10:08):
Under a supply, under a supplause dentol. Doctor Jen Gunter is.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
In a welcome, Doctor Gunter, Thank you so much.

Speaker 3 (10:21):
Are we about to talk about vagina?

Speaker 1 (10:26):
And I'm excited, Doctor Gunter. We've been really looking forward
to having you on the show. We had a urologist
on and he answered lots of male questions, and now
we wanted to have a gynecologist on to answer some
female questions for us.

Speaker 8 (10:40):
Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
You wrote a book called the Vagina Bible? Is that correct?

Speaker 8 (10:47):
I did?

Speaker 1 (10:48):
Now? We just thought, we asked our amazing producer, Joel Monique.
We want to educate our audience of both sexes, of
any sex on things they might not know, and Donald
and I don't know a lot. So we are fake doctors,
not real doctors. But we just thought it would be
great to have you on and answer questions that we

(11:10):
have that Daniel might even have, Joelle might have. Donald's
wife just gave us some questions to ask and we
just feel really lucky to have you.

Speaker 8 (11:19):
Oh, well, on my pleasure.

Speaker 10 (11:21):
I'm here for all of your vaginal involver needs.

Speaker 3 (11:25):
This is the best day ever in the history.

Speaker 2 (11:29):
Okay, So, doctor Gunter, I am one who loves to
have sex with his wife. I want to tread lightly
here because I want to continue to enjoy having sex.

Speaker 3 (11:40):
With my wife.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
So I am of that who loves an abundance of it,
and she is trying to keep up, but I am
having she's having trouble keeping up.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
Let's put it that way with my needs desires.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
Yes, And she was on right before you came in,
doctor Gunter, and she said something she alluded to something
of like, I'm in my mid forties, I'm going through
some changes. I'm paraphrasing, and I don't basically in so
many words saying I don't have the same libido that
my husband has. And you know, so, I guess we're
wondering if you have any advice on couples that are

(12:20):
in that situation.

Speaker 10 (12:22):
Yeah, so there are definitely so people can have times
where they have kind of high spontaneous sexual desire and
they can have a lower spontaneous sexual desire. So one
thing I always remind people about because a lot of
people don't know. This is if you don't have a
spontaneous desire, but it kicks in after an appropriate situation

(12:43):
presents itself, then that's called receptive desire, and that's actually normal.
So it's important for people to understand what normal is.
A great book to learn more about that is called
Better Sex through Mindfulness by doctor Lori Brato. She's one
of the world experts on this subject, so I would
I always recommend that book. And the other thing to

(13:04):
think about when someone is in their forties is are
they having any changes related to the menopause transition? And
so sometimes there are physical changes that can make sex
more uncomfortable, and if that's happening, we want to correct
those because if it hurts, you might also be less
inclined to want to do it.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
I just think it's the amount like when we were younger,
we did before we got married. Oh my god, it
was like rabbits. When we were trying to have a baby,
it was all the time, you.

Speaker 3 (13:30):
Know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (13:31):
And now that we are, you know, I don't know
if she's going through menopause, but I think it's like
was it poly when you're like.

Speaker 10 (13:40):
Well, people call it perimenopause, so you know, kind of colloquially,
but I would just say that it's you know, also too,
when people have a libido mismatch, it's a good idea
to talk with a sex therapist to kind of figure out,
you know, are there, you know, is there something that
that you can kind of come to a middle ground?
You know, that type of thing.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
So, you know, let's wait talk more on that, because
I think one of the things Donald's talking about, and
this has been the case just from loving them and
being their friend for so long, Donald does happen to
be a man with a very strong libido, especially he's
about to be fifty, and he's got the libido of
a twenty year old, and his wife, as she's admitted
hers has has has gone down. So how does a

(14:20):
sex therapist help a couple in that position? By the way,
I'm sure there's men who have lower libidos than their
wives who are listening. So how does that work? What
can they do for a couple like that who's trying
to navigate this well?

Speaker 10 (14:32):
I think it would depend on a lot of different things.
And I have to say I'm not a sex therapist,
so I would actually refer someone to that, you know,
to someone to have that discussion.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
Well, book a sex therapist, So that.

Speaker 8 (14:42):
Would be one, you know, one way to look at it.

Speaker 10 (14:44):
Another way would be to you know, really find out,
you know, what, is this a spontaneous desire issue or
you know, if she still has receptive desire, then that's
actually not abnormal. So sometimes it's education about what might
be going on.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
It's definitely receptive, Like I do something that is you know,
helpful just nowhere. It's it could sometimes be as simple
as that, and then out of nowhere she's like, you know,
I don't know, man, I guess that's a Sometimes that's
a turn on for her when it comes to things
around the house. I've never in my life, like my

(15:21):
parents used to get grounded all the time because I
just never did chores and stuff like that. So when
I do do things like that around the house, oh
my god, it pays.

Speaker 10 (15:30):
Okay, so right there, we've learned something that maybe you
could do to change the situation, right.

Speaker 3 (15:36):
Yeah, but I don't like doing that stuff.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
Well, it's.

Speaker 3 (15:39):
Having a freaking clean.

Speaker 8 (15:41):
Okay, silly.

Speaker 10 (15:42):
I think we've identified a bit of a problem perhaps
right here. Yeah, So if I were in a situation
where I would do it, I was doing the bulk
of the house, around the work around the house, I
probably wouldn't want to have sex with my partner as
much either, because that might I might have some resentment.
Now everybody's different. Maybe that's not going to affect everybody.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
I don't think you know what you talk about.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
But Donald, what's what is so clear? And you have
proven evidence that your wife gets lit up by you
helping around the house.

Speaker 3 (16:18):
So today I made breakfast the kids before school.

Speaker 10 (16:22):
Okay, so maybe you could think about doing that every day.
Maybe just think about it, participating for the joy of
participating in your family unit.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
I do enjoy participating in my family unit actually more
than sex. Actually I enjoy my family more than sex,
to be honest with you.

Speaker 8 (16:38):
So that might be something to tell your wife.

Speaker 3 (16:41):
Yeah, she knows that.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
You know, you know, and it's part of this is
part of this is us being a little facetious, but
part of this is an actual issue that we do
go through.

Speaker 1 (16:52):
Well, she was just in here saying when we told
her that we had the doctor on, she said, you
better get a pen and paper.

Speaker 10 (17:00):
So, I you know, it sounds like you know. I
I again, I'm not a sex therapist, but I would
say that talking about it is good if you really
feel there's a mismatch. There are professionals who maybe can
help some education. So books great. You know, another great
book has come as you Are. That's by Emily Nagowski.

Speaker 8 (17:18):
I hope I.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
Don't spelled which way has come spelled in that title doctor.

Speaker 10 (17:22):
The way one would normally spell it. And if in
impolite company I had.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
Written that book, I would have done a pun on
the word doctor.

Speaker 10 (17:30):
Well, I think it's implied, but it's great. It's a
it's a one.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
The double dunters better if you don't hit it on
that head. That's something I've always had to wrestle with.
I got it.

Speaker 10 (17:40):
Yeah, yeah, sometimes subtlety works really well.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
Let me write that down as a comedy writer, doctor.

Speaker 10 (17:46):
Subtlety, subtlety note note to self. Yes, well, you know,
when you're you're talking to people in vulnerable situations as
a doctor, you know you have to kind of sometimes
pull your punches a little bit.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
Yeah, I got it. I got it. I can say
for for both women, but I know you're gyecologists who
specialize in women are there anything that does legitimately increase libido.
You see all of these things from the male point
of view, these herbs and blah blah blah, and of
course a zillion different things that are suggested. But do

(18:18):
you find, as it gecologists for women who may be saying, gosh,
my libido has gotten lower, is there something they can do?

Speaker 10 (18:25):
So actually, the most studied therapy that has the best
behind it is mindfulness. Hence the book that I recommended
Better sex than Mindfulness. So mindfulness is about sort of
putting everything that's going on in the world away and
focusing on the moment, really doing sort of sensate focusing exercises,
focusing on how you feel, enhancing the pleasure experience that way.

(18:50):
So mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy, those things tend to be
actually the most effective, and they're the most well studied.
There also are medications. We only recommend them when we've
tried other things and to make sure that there isn't
there aren't other issues in relationships, right, So for example,
if you don't really like your partner, there's no amount

(19:11):
of any medication that's actually going to fix that, right,
Or if your partner isn't very good in bed, right,
so that also happens.

Speaker 8 (19:19):
You know, I'm not trying to say anything.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
I think that's a good point, No, I'm what I'm
inferring from what you're saying is that the both partners,
but we're talking about the woman in this situation might
not know, might not be able to see. Oh, the
problem is not your body. The problem is that you're
not turned on. You have resentment towards the person you're
not That's what the problem is, you.

Speaker 3 (19:46):
Know, or you're not doing it the way I like it?

Speaker 10 (19:49):
Right, So think about if you were given the same
meal every night for twenty years, you might like not
look forward to dinner so much anymore. Right, So that
for some people people that might be fine to have
dinner every night. But if you to have the same
dinner every night, But if you get the same dinner
every single night, you know, over time you might like
be like, well, why don't I even get asked.

Speaker 8 (20:09):
What I want to have for dinner?

Speaker 3 (20:10):
Right?

Speaker 10 (20:11):
How come I don't get to be involved in the
meal prep? So again it's like about communication. Also, you
know peoples, when people are first dating, they tend to
have higher libidos because you've got it's excitement and it's new, right,
and then things kind of settle down. People are also
given a lot of i think false messages about what's
normal and what's not. I mean, if you watch most

(20:32):
movies focus on the male experience, and the female experience
is like, oh my god, wow after three seconds, and
that is like, you know, not true for anyone ever probably,
So you know, so you have to think about all
of those things. And sometimes, you know, as people chief,
they have you know, family commitments, you're up all night
with kids, you have financial pressures, so we accumulate those

(20:55):
things over our lives that might also, you know, kind
of weigh on libido as well. So what I'm saying
is you kind of have to step back and take
it more of a holistic approach and sort of think
about this kind of in the context of your life.

Speaker 8 (21:07):
And if there aren't.

Speaker 10 (21:09):
These other life things that might be contributing, if there
aren't partner things that are contributing that for some people,
then there are some medications that can sometimes be helpful,
but they're not as effective as people think. It's not
like they're making you have sex every single night. You know,
for some of them. We're talking about one or one
extra episode of sex a month, or maybe two extra

(21:31):
episodes of sex a month right now. Also, these medications
are studied in the context of people who are generally
having sex at least somewhat frequently. And then if we
see people who haven't had sex in a relationship for
six months or a year, which we sometimes see, how
well do those medications work for those people? And we
don't really know, so I guess my answer is is

(21:51):
a very long way of saying, it's complicated and you
have to consider a lot of factors.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
Yeah, I have a hard time understanding what do you
mean you don't want to do it?

Speaker 3 (22:00):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (22:01):
I don't understand you know, how can you not feel
the way I feel?

Speaker 5 (22:05):
Like?

Speaker 3 (22:06):
But that's me as a male.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
I think I think that's my own ego and I
think that's my own naivete, like falling into like you
know what I mean, Like, I don't know. I feel
like in relationships, somebody is always going to be the
one that has way more libido than the other, and
it fluctuates, you know what I mean?

Speaker 10 (22:26):
Like maybe I mean, I think it's different for lots
of people and I would actually push back and say,
some men actually have more of a receptive libido that
they want to be in a situation where you know
that they feel more maybe desired, or that they need
to be in that receptive type of situation. And so
I think when we use sort of patriarchal norms, for example,

(22:50):
we can dismiss lots of people at both ends of
the spectrum. So that again, thank you well, but I
think it's also really good for someone like yourself to say, hey,
maybe I should read one of those books that aimed
at people who have maybe desire issues so I could
learn more about what it's like on the other end,
because that might also be insightful.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
It seems like the most important thing that you're saying
is the communication aspect of it, because these are such
sometimes very uncomfortable topics for couples, and they don't they
don't want to talk about it. It's like they just
sweep it under the rug.

Speaker 10 (23:21):
Well, what I'd like to say is I have definitely
noticed that people have an easier time having sex than
talking about sex, which I think.

Speaker 8 (23:28):
Says a lot about our culture.

Speaker 10 (23:30):
Yeah, And I mean if you think about even just
saying like the words vagina or penis or you know,
vulva clitoris often that makes people like you know, think
twice or makes them giggle. And why should that be
any different than saying the word elbow or knee right,
you know. So I think that a lot of it
is related to sort of our sort of puritanical sort

(23:52):
of threads that run through society, leftover sort of you know,
damage from the Victorians, you know, all these types of things, evangelicalism,
there's all these different threads. I think that that create
this as well as the historical power imbalance between between
women and men. And so talking about it is really good.
Talking about it outside of the bedroom, so you're not

(24:14):
kind of weaponizing the bed is also good, you know,
because you know, nobody wants to hear I think after
you've had sex what it should have been like or
what you would have preferred, right, So you know, some
things like that. And I always say, like, we have
professionals for a reason. There's sex therapists, there's couples counselors,
there's marriage therapists, and you know people also, I think

(24:36):
it also overlaps with our our sort of cultural looking
down on seeking care for mental health issues as well, Right, so,
which is terrible, Like, if you have a problem, why
shouldn't you go talk to an expert? That doesn't you know,
if I have a my car is not working, I'm
going to go to someone who can fix it. If
I'm having an issue with our relationship, why shouldn't I

(24:58):
talk to someone who can help me with that. It
doesn't mean that you're getting divorced. It doesn't mean that
things are terrible. It means, hey, we want things to
be better. Isn't that a good thing?

Speaker 1 (25:07):
Yeah, that's so well said. I think communication is everything because,
like you said, people don't this like gets uncomfortable, even
if it's your your partner, your wife, You just you
don't want to say the wrong thing. You don't want
to upset them. You don't. And if it's your own
insecurity about your whatever, whatever you're feeling, you like, don't
you might feel you know, you might not feel good

(25:29):
about sharing it. So it becomes very cringey for people.
I think.

Speaker 10 (25:32):
Yeah, I mean I see a lot of women in
their forties, fifties and sixties who want to have a
lot of sex, and you know what their partners, their
male partners have a rectile dysfunction and they won't go
see the doctor.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
If you're listening and you're suffering from a rectial dysfunction, please,
as your fake doctor, please go see someone, because that's
something that's so easily correctible. There's literally a mint now
that I've seen advertised that has viagra dors. I don't
know the combination in it, So you can be out
on a date with someone and you feel it's going there,

(26:06):
you can pop a mint. So the idea that there's
men out there who aren't living their full sexual selves
because of having a rectal dysfunction, that seems to me
like something that's so easily amongst all these problems, that's
one of the easier ones to solve because of this
these medicines that have changed the world.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
It could also mean that you have an underlying condition
as well.

Speaker 1 (26:29):
And of course I'm saying go to the doctor. I'm
not saying just pop a mint. I'm saying, go see
your doctor and talk about it.

Speaker 10 (26:34):
Yeah, So I just think it's important that you know
that we do see we see it on both ends
and so you know. And then I'll say to my patient, well,
have you talked with your partner about like going to
the doctor about a rectal dysfunction and they'll say, oh,
I could never bring that up, or I tried to
bring it up and he shut me down. So I
think that, you know, we see it on both ends,
and I think that as you know, as Zach just said,

(26:57):
it's all about communication, and I always thinking of sex
as the ultimate form of communication, right it's a it's
a form of communication. You're communicating pleasure and pleasuring and pleasure,
and so learning how to talk about it is I
think a great way to also enhance your sexual experience
for you know, for a lot of people. It might
not be for some, but you know, just to think

(27:18):
about that as as also a sexual aid.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
And also communicate what you like.

Speaker 10 (27:23):
Yeah, absolutely, I mean if you didn't tell somebody what
you what you know? Again, getting back to the dinner analogy, right,
like if you ate the same thing every night and
you pretended you liked it, and you're a vegetarian and
you were served meat every night, you might be like, oh,
not really looking forward to dinner, and how come how
come I don't get a chance to say and how
come I don't get to serve the meal? Sometimes right,

(27:44):
so think about it that way.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
I like that. All right, we're going to take a break,
and when we come back, if we could ask you
some questions about the female anatomy that Donald and I
we did the same thing with the urologist, and we
think we could be educational to people out asking some questions.
You're bat starting starting with the labia. We'll be right back.

(28:17):
Donald and I stumbled across the fact that we call
we refer to as a society to the women's genitalia
as the vagina. But what men and women, what everyone
is looking at is the labia majora? Uh correct or
or is that just go on? Sorry?

Speaker 8 (28:36):
Okay, well you're looking at the vulva.

Speaker 10 (28:38):
So the labia majora is part of the vulva, right,
so if you thought, you know, so that's the labia majora,
the larger lips, and they are in many people the
most prominent part of the volva what you might see,
but that can also change, you know, based on age
and also individual features. Right, you know, we all are
shaped differently. If you look at ears, right, everybody's got
different shaped ears or noses. So so yeah, so the

(29:00):
labia manora, the mons is just above the labia minora
are the inner lips and all together that encompasses the vulva.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
Right now, the labia minora you started hinted at this,
but depending on the woman, Just like penises come in
so many different shapes and sizes, the relationship between them
labia minora and majora can be completely different, just depending
on who you are, just like ears.

Speaker 10 (29:27):
Like you said, absolutely so, some people have smaller labia
minora that aren't necessarily visible if you're just looking at
the vulva, and other people have larger ones. And that's great,
and there's all variations in between. And wouldn't that be
awful if we all look the same everywhere?

Speaker 8 (29:42):
Right?

Speaker 10 (29:42):
So, yeah, so there's different shapes and sizes and that's
a wonderful thing.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Donald, do you have labia minora questions?

Speaker 3 (29:50):
No?

Speaker 1 (29:51):
Do you want to make a joke about how it
sounds like the minora from Hanukkah?

Speaker 3 (29:55):
No? I don't. I think that's a joke that only
you can make.

Speaker 1 (29:59):
Okay, think of a good manora, the labia minora. Think
about that sex toy. We could make doctor, we could
go on Shark Tank and make a fortune. I don't
know how it operates, but it's a labia minora right
all with your.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
Thoughts that only comes out doing honkah.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
Yeah, you for sale only on Honukkah. And we'll have
to figure out exactly how it operates. But it's it's
can you imagine, hey, sharks, I'm Donald Faison.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
No, I cannot imagine this already. We've started it started
off bad. It's all pretty started off bad.

Speaker 10 (30:32):
And that's a great double entendre in there. You can't
figure out how it works?

Speaker 1 (30:36):
I know exactly, that's funny.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
How does it work? Doc? Let's just be honest, how
does it work?

Speaker 5 (30:43):
Like?

Speaker 2 (30:43):
What are we doing wrong as men that they say
that a woman could make herself have an orgasm in however,
like less than a minute or two minutes if woman
could do it, and it'll take a guy sometimes to
get the woman to orgasm. It could take the whole

(31:04):
sex or after sex or never.

Speaker 3 (31:08):
Or you know what I mean? Like, what are we
doing wrong?

Speaker 1 (31:10):
You know? What is it? What is it? I'm going
to just tail on to Donald's question and say, what
is it that you think women would would like men
to know that not all men know about making her
have an orgasm?

Speaker 10 (31:24):
Well, I don't think I can answer that question in
a sort of a tidy, little one sentence.

Speaker 8 (31:28):
So take your.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Time, take the rest of the podcast, doctor, this is
yours doctor. Yes, doctor, in fact, take the all the
rest of the season and answer this if that's if
that's what you need.

Speaker 8 (31:39):
So it depends.

Speaker 10 (31:40):
It depends what somebody likes. It depends how somebody's feeling
in the moment. You know, for a lot of women,
there can be so much pressure about did you orgasm,
did you come?

Speaker 8 (31:52):
Did you come? Did you come?

Speaker 7 (31:52):
Then?

Speaker 10 (31:53):
You know what, that takes somebody out of the moment
and it should really, you know, And it also depends
what somebody likes. So there might be somebody who who
loves to have, you know, very quick sex with somebody
they know exactly what they want to do, maybe they
don't even want to know that person's name, right, And
then there's people who want to have hours of you know,

(32:13):
build up and foreplay beforehand, and then there's everything in between.
And you know what, for the say, for this one person,
that might encompass the whole spectrum, or it may be
different at different phases in their life. So instead of
focusing on what brings about an orgasm. The better question
is what gives you pleasure? Right, and then to start

(32:36):
from there, what do you like? Having a conversation asking
someone can you show me? You know, it shouldn't be
a performance. I mean again, different people like different things,
and different people also have kinks. So I don't want
to I don't want to exclude people from sort of
the totality of the discussion, but start to ask somebody
what they like, what brings them pleasure, and to use

(33:00):
that as a launching pad, because at.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
The end of the day, everybody wants to just have
good sex. When we do have sex, nobody just wants
to get it over with. And so my wife is right,
quality is so much better than quantity. Quality is like
quality has turned the sex that we have now where
when she is eager and ready to do it, I'm like,

(33:26):
I can't wait because I can remember what happened last.

Speaker 3 (33:30):
Time, and that's the turn on for me, you know
what I mean?

Speaker 2 (33:32):
Like I love the fact that she's now comfortable enough
to say this is what I.

Speaker 3 (33:37):
Want to do. I don't want to do, you know
what I mean?

Speaker 2 (33:39):
Like, for a really long time, I was very dominant
in our sex life, and then she said, Yo, chill
the fuck out. And I'm learning to do that now,
and it's very difficult, but I'm learning.

Speaker 3 (33:50):
And I don't know. Quality is definitely better than quantity.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
I know that it sounds like what you're saying is
what the doctor's saying. Is that every correct me if
I'm wrong. Every single person's different. It's like the Kinsey story,
and like everyone's different falls somewhere on the spectrum of sexuality.
What everyone has. We're like butterflies. Every single person is
unique to what turns them on and what gets them off,

(34:15):
and so you don't find out without good communication. And
I think I think a lot of men, perhaps I'm
gonna just say a sweeping stereotype, perhaps don't necessarily ask.
They just kind of do instead of finding a way
to engage in a conversation.

Speaker 3 (34:33):
I say, a lot of people period.

Speaker 10 (34:35):
I think, yeah, I think that's really common. I mean,
if you think about in our society, where do people
learn about sex, And, as I mentioned earlier, you know,
they learn about it from movies, they learn about it
from friends. Think about how the dismal state of sex
education is in the country, and a lot of it's
not sex education it's how to not get pregnant. Education

(34:57):
and slug shaming, right like, That's basically what it is.
And so you know, if you don't even know how
your body works then and nobody's going to tell you,
then you know, you know, it can lead to all
these you know, not necessarily we can lead to problems,
but it can also lead to people not having fulfilling
sex lives because they were never educated and they din'tven

(35:18):
know to ask because there's so much shame about it,
and so, you know, I think, you know, in general,
the cornerstone for a lot of people for good sexual
and this is again a large generalization is education and
communication and obviously that means different things to different people.
Knowing what what I like is going to be different
from what you like, from what from what other people like,

(35:39):
and being able to, you know, if you're in a
couple ship to talk about that, and if you're not
in a couple ship, to figure out how you want
that to work for you. And so I think we
kind of have to be open minded about it. Understand
there is a huge spectrum and that if people want
to make things work together in a long term coupleship,
probably a lot of communication is going to be needed.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
It's interesting that you say that I'm about to we're
going to end this part of the conversation because you
guys are going to want to talk about it after this.
But it seems like as a society, we're going backwards
and not forwards when it comes to conversations about sex.
It seems like, you know, when these new conversations come up,
there's so many politicians and so many people out there
who are like, no, no, oh, well, I don't want

(36:20):
to talk about that. In matter of fact, let's not
talk about that at all. Let's just sweep it under
the rug and forget that it exists, and it's happening
with history, and it's happening with sexuality as well.

Speaker 10 (36:33):
You know, when we think about politics in this country,
we think about the fact that half the population, or
you know, the half that's sexually active with men, needs
contraception to have the kind of sex that they want
to have, right otherwise they're you know, at risk for
you know, poverty, for generational poverty, right for not being

(36:54):
able to get the education they want to be able
to have the jobs that they want. And so this
country has really weaponized sexuality in a very unique way
for women. And if you think about the fact that
it's fifty percent of the population that have to bear
the physical burdens of reproducing society, and yet we have

(37:16):
it's harder to get health care for women. They can't
get they can't get the contraception that they want if
they are pregnant, they can't get an abortion if they
want it, if they're having severe maternal complications during pregnancy.
So many labor and delivery rooms are closing. They can't
the care we want, never mind the more maternal mortality
in this country, especially for black women. Right, we have

(37:36):
all of these problems, and I would argue that they
are all tied up with sex and sexuality, and so
to have this discussion without including the broader sort of
political aspects, you're sort.

Speaker 8 (37:50):
Of perpetuating the problem.

Speaker 10 (37:51):
It's a difficult line to walk because you have to
walk being medically correct, right, right versus you know, versus
is how do you get people to the table to
have that conversation. And so it's there's a reason I'm
not a politician.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
Yeah, yeah, doctor, what is something you think women wish
men knew that they don't know? I mean, there's been
jokes in movies and TV shows about finding the clytorus
and and uh and knowing how to please a woman.
Of course, we've seen that our whole lives. But outside
of just necessarily something sexual. We asked Casey, she was

(38:28):
saying she wishes what did she say? She wishes men
knew more about uh? She said, Actually, she said she.

Speaker 3 (38:35):
Wished she knew when she was younger.

Speaker 1 (38:38):
When she was younger, that it wasn't solely about pleasing
the man, that that that she also had to find
a way to find pleasure herself.

Speaker 3 (38:45):
Right.

Speaker 2 (38:46):
She said, when she was younger, she would be all
right if the person orgasmed and she didn't.

Speaker 3 (38:53):
She was fine with that. It was okay, that's fine.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
But now as now that she knows herself, she knows
when she wants to organs and when she doesn't want
to orgasm, she knows she you know, if she if
she wants to have an orgasm during sex, she's going
to have an orgasm during sex if she doesn't want
to and want and doesn't want to have sex. But
I don't know, men, I don't know. I wish she
was here, but she's going to let's take a break.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
We'll be right back after these fine words. Tell us
all about in any area where you think that men
in your experience can be more enlightened.

Speaker 10 (39:30):
Well, I think a broad topic. I think men could
be more enlightened about the burdens of having a uterus
and ovaries and the china and what all of that entails, right,
the burden of menstruation, the burden of pregnancy, the burden
of ovulating every month, and what it's like to have

(39:52):
your whole reproductive track rewired kind of every sort of
twenty four to thirty five days and all of those
issues go along with it, right, so that that so
many times, you know, women suffer with mestr cramps, or
they may get a condition like endometriosis not diagnosed because
they're dismissed. Uh, they may you know, have very heavy periods,

(40:14):
don't get taken care of that that all of these
things are can be a health issue for some people,
and I think it would be I think good to
have more recognition of that, to understand about those burdens.
But you know, I think what women want to obviously,
you know, we're not a monolith, and so everybody wants
I think a lot of people want different things. I

(40:35):
think that agency. I think a lot of people just
want agency, the ability to say I want something or
don't want something, the ability not to be judged for
saying you want something. If you want to have if
you want to go out and have sex with somebody
you met at a party and that works for you,
why should you be judged for that right? If you
also want to, you know, marry your high school sweetheart,

(40:57):
why should you be judged for that right? So the
agency to sort of make the wide scope of decisions
about your sexuality that men have enjoyed since the beginning
of time.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
That's so well said.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
We had we had a couple on that where the
woman was having extramarital.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
Sex with his best friend.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
With his best friend, and at first we were like,
so not freaked out, but it was. It was surprising
to us, But at the end of the day, it
was like, well, who are we to judge them for
being this way?

Speaker 1 (41:29):
It wasn't an affair. It was that she had permission
from her husband to once a week sleep with his
best friend. And Donald and I were very shocked by
the story. But it's a perfect example of what you're
saying everyone's everyone's consenting, it's all fine, they're happy, you know,
to each their own, right.

Speaker 8 (41:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (41:44):
I think if everybody has agency and the relationship right,
that it's not something forced upon one person. And that's
what gets back again to communication, right, And and so
I think that different things work for different people. And
I think now we're especially with social media, where we're
getting more exposure, I think two different things.

Speaker 3 (42:04):
Now.

Speaker 10 (42:04):
Obviously not everything you see on social media is also true,
but you know what I'm saying, you're getting a more
I would say, a bigger slice of maybe perhaps what's
happening in the population than you would see in conventional
you know, television shows and especially things that have to
pass sensors, right and in censor and I don't.

Speaker 2 (42:23):
Know, there are shows like Euphoria that freak everybody out,
Like Zach, don't you love Euphoria?

Speaker 1 (42:31):
I think Euphoria is really well done. Yeah, incredible parent.

Speaker 3 (42:35):
As a parent, that's it scares me because that is
but as.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
A but I want to be informed of what is
on the future, in the future for my children.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
You know, I don't think your children necessarily have to
live a life like the kids in Euphoria.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
Do you remember what your partying life was like when
you were in high school?

Speaker 1 (42:56):
Well, wasn't euphoria? I can tell you that.

Speaker 2 (42:58):
Okay, Well mind, mine was similar in all of the
drugs and stuff like, like we weren't. I have a
lot of friends that died from overdosing and stuff like
that in real life. And I have a lot of
friends that were, you know, discovering who they were and
how I went to a school where you know, arts,
and you know how artistic people are when it comes

(43:19):
to discovering themselves, and we had some crazy parties.

Speaker 10 (43:23):
Well, so I use that kind of stuffs as a watis.
I have twenty year old twin boys and I you know,
when Euphoria came out, they were watching it like everybody else.
And I was like, Hey, we should be talking about
you guys caring in our can right and when you
would use that and how you would have it, And
let's go get some from the pharmacy. Because you're in California,

(43:43):
you can do that. And let's when you go off
to college, let's take some extra ones with you so
you can keep it in your dorm and you can
pass it out to friends and you can talk about that,
because again, you know, not talking about that can can
actually lead to someone losing their life.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
I got to tell you as a side note, I
had to be in the er in New York to
help a friend who had something happened in the person's fine.
But during the few hours that I was there, you
know the word that I heard the most narcan. It
was just so emblematic of this country right now that
like I heard narkan like fifteen times. I was in

(44:19):
the er for a couple hours.

Speaker 10 (44:20):
So I would reframe that as actually not. I mean,
obviously hearing it in the er means all these people
have come in with overdoses and.

Speaker 8 (44:28):
That's a tragedy.

Speaker 10 (44:29):
But the message I would like for people listening to
hear about is the word narcan on the street is
a success because that means you've had a chance to
help somebody and save their life, right, and that you know,
maybe that is going to help them down the road.
Obviously saving their life is going to help them down
the road, but you never know when that intervention might

(44:50):
help lead to safer drug use right or set them
down a different path.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
So I I just for you, it's just scary because
of the whole oxy and fentyl.

Speaker 8 (45:01):
It's terrible.

Speaker 10 (45:02):
And you know, I have very you know, I have
very very frank discussions with my kids about you know,
it's not just the fact that you might be getting
fentanyl or something like that. You have no idea what
else could be in some of these pills, right, what
kind of designers steroid like other kinds of.

Speaker 8 (45:18):
Stuff that that we don't know about. So it's just important.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
So do your boys carry narcan on them?

Speaker 10 (45:24):
Well, I'm pretty sure one does because I have one
who's very like, uh little community activist and and so
he's that's his thing. The other one, you know, is
h is in on Friday night studying, So there's a
there's a sort of a different range there. But they
both have it, and they both have access to it,
and I made them both keep it in their dorms,

(45:46):
like next to the IBU prosos.

Speaker 1 (45:47):
I should get some. I should get some. Just you know,
I feel like if you if it's available in your state,
you just have in your house like you would have
a band aid, because yes, hell, you.

Speaker 3 (45:55):
Never know who's at your house and what they're doing
in your bath.

Speaker 1 (45:58):
You save their life, you ever.

Speaker 8 (46:00):
Know, Man, yeah, keep it in your car, keep it
you know.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
Just can you look up what states? Can you buy
it over the counter? Joelle? Do you have any questions
for the doctor? You're you're a resident woman, do anything.
We're not asking here.

Speaker 3 (46:15):
Have we embarrassed you enough? Joelle?

Speaker 1 (46:17):
Are you ashamed?

Speaker 5 (46:18):
Don't feel embarrassed. No, I'm not ashamed, although I think
that might be a really interesting thing to talk about.
The thing, you know, a lot of our listeners are dudes,
and a lot of these dudes have children who have vaginas,
and maybe they don't know anything about them. And I
was curious, and there's like a lot of you guys
were talking about stigma earlier then I think, like you know,

(46:42):
as a kid growing up, and especially for you, I
grew up in rural Illinois, so our sex education was
non existent, and there was like so many questions we had,
like and one they came up a lot like in schools,
like what should a vagina smell like?

Speaker 10 (46:56):
M So I always find it interesting that nobody asks
what a penis or balls should smell like.

Speaker 2 (47:04):
Right, it's not like mine, musty, it's not like mine
and musty.

Speaker 10 (47:12):
So I would always I always sort of bring that like,
why why are we so fixated on how a vagina
smells and not fixated on how the other half the
population smells? Right? So I just put that out right there,
and so I actually, you know, would recommend that anybody
who has children read the Vagina Bible so they can

(47:32):
actually learn all about what's normal, what are the health
conditions that could come along. I've had several single dads
reach out to me and tell me that they bought
the Vagina Bible and redd it so they could actually,
you know, know, mores for their daughters. Because you know,
if you don't have the parts, you don't really know.
I mean you might, but you know, I'm just saying

(47:53):
you're you're less likely to have an intimate you know,
knowledge of the sort of the medical aspects of it, right,
So to get educated and you know, to think that
anytime someone's worried about how a vagina smells, I want
you to think of I want you to everybody, to
to anybody who's listening, all the dudes, I want you
to go to Walgreens or CBS, and I want you

(48:13):
to look at the shelves and shelves and shelves of
products designed to make a volva or vagina smell better.
And then I want you to find me all the
products that are designed to make a penis and balls
smell better, because obviously there isn't.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
And I wish that the cartoon company would animate this segment.
This is a really good area ahead because.

Speaker 10 (48:33):
If you were if you were an alien and you
were dropped in a Walgreens or a CBS, you would
think that vaginas are gross and disgusting. That would be
that would be your take home, because that's what society
wants you to think. That's how people make money. This
is a massive industry. We're telling women that they need
to use wipes after they go to the bathroom. What
like men can wipe themselves but women can't.

Speaker 3 (48:54):
What do I do wipe my balls out in my shift?
I can't contect it smelling okay, well nothing. I try
to keep it smelling like nothing.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
Well, it probably smells like the wipes, like some sort
of like ivory.

Speaker 10 (49:08):
So my point is is that we have this whole
societal belief that vaginas are gross, right, and so when
people and and that is you know, kind of a
patriarchal tenant that how do we how do we oppress
half the population by telling them that their very biology
is problematic? And so I just think it's always important
to push back on that.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
And okay, but just I hear you. But just so
we can answer Joelle's question, let's say you're a single dad.
Let's say you're or are you just a dad who
wants to be educated? We don't know. I don't know
what is required of a woman so that she keeps
a help not just you know, a healthy system going,
because I remember someone telling me that, you know, doing

(49:51):
too much to your to your genitalia as a woman
can can throw the whole pH balance off and make
it bad.

Speaker 10 (49:58):
So just so, the vagina and is like a self
cleaning oven. You don't need to do anything. It has evolved.
It is an evolutionary marvel to take care of itself.
It has all kinds of defense mechanisms and built in
systems to you know, to keep it functioning well. And
just like a self cleaning oven, if you start doing
things to it to clean it, you can actually damage it.

(50:20):
And so you don't need actually any care for the
vagina which is inside. If you have an itch, if
you if you notice an odor, that seems different to you.
If you notice a discharge that's different, then yes you
should see a healthcare provider. From a volvers standpoint, you
should treat it like all your you know, all your
skin and sensitive areas. I mean your face as well,

(50:42):
that tends to be more sensitive skin. You want to
use a cleanser, not a soap. Soap dries your skin,
so cleansers are best, and apart from that, like that's
you know, but if you just want to use water,
that's also fine too. And using things like wipes will
irritate the skin. You do not need to use any
special feminine product. None of them are studied in any
meaningful way, and most of them end up causing irritation.

Speaker 8 (51:04):
And that's really it. That's that's the Cole's notes, right, I.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
Can tell you is someone with a scrotum, it's not
that simple. You have to to soap it up, gotta
get in there with soap.

Speaker 10 (51:17):
Donald, Well, all I can tell you is I only
have an amateur interest in men, not a professional one.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
And I appreciate I appreciate your amateur interest.

Speaker 1 (51:27):
I can just think of Donald's just declaring that his
balls are musty and uh poor case they get Musty.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
I'm not gonna lie when I I work out, and
I'm not gonna Okay, so, but.

Speaker 1 (51:38):
When you're about to have sex with Casey and you've
had Musty has.

Speaker 3 (51:41):
Dissed me so many times, you.

Speaker 2 (51:43):
Go and say, let me just reapgnize the smell of
my downtown area so many times to make me feel
like shit.

Speaker 3 (51:52):
She'll say shit, like damn baby, wash that ship, Like.

Speaker 1 (51:57):
Why don't you why don't you do that? If you
know you have a shot, You've on the dishes, she's
turned on. Why don't you run to the shower and
clean clean your mess up?

Speaker 2 (52:05):
Because I, like doctor Gunter, believe that it will.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
Doctor Gunter to not say that your goal will self clean.

Speaker 8 (52:17):
I was only talking about volvs and vaginas.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
But Donald misunderstood.

Speaker 3 (52:21):
Donald miss understood, got it, got it, got it. I
thought we were in the universal conversation at Donald.

Speaker 1 (52:26):
Let me help you. The scrotum is not a self
cleaning of in Donald.

Speaker 10 (52:30):
But I'll tell you there's a there's a really interesting
study that was done a little while back, and I
hope I'm quoting it correctly. But you know, when when
people have sex, you know there's Obviously there's fluids, and
there might be farting, and there's all kinds of stuff
that happens that we would normally, you know, maybe be
a little bit like, oh, that's kind of gross about.
And when people are sexually excited, they are a level

(52:51):
of their ability to tolerate disgusting things actually increases.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
So, yeah, the population of people that will eat somebody's
asshole the first time they meet them, without wipes or anything.
But then we'll turn around and tell you that you
do not have the right to do what you want
to do with your body. So I know exactly what

(53:15):
you're talking about when it comes to that, all those
people out there that will do that and then all
of a sudden tell me I'm nasty because.

Speaker 3 (53:24):
I like something.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
All right, Well on that night, let's take a break.
We'll be right back after these fine words, Daniel, Do
you have any questions? You want to make sure everyone
has a fair chance down You're a very handsome man.
You've been with a woman for a long time. Is

(53:46):
there anything you want to you ask the doctor that
you might share next time you're twitching or muck banging.

Speaker 4 (53:52):
It's very kind of you. I appreciate the kind words.
I don't know if I have any questions as much
as I just want to celebrate the doctors. I think
awesome perspective of conversation and communication being the root of
all of these things. You also sound like the coolest
mom ever, being like, now, let's get you kids some
b can. What a great thing. I also put in
the chat that Narcan is legal to buy over the

(54:13):
counter in every state, which is wonderful. Is approved by
the FDA in March.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
So that's where you go. If you're listening and you
live in the United States, you can buy narcan and
have it in your house for emergencies in any state.

Speaker 3 (54:23):
You might save somebody's life.

Speaker 4 (54:24):
Yeah, definitely. But yeah, just I really appreciate that communication
is the root of all of these things because so
much of our country's opinion on sex and drugs and alcohol,
I mean, any sort of vice or whatever is solely
rooted and I refuse to have the conversation right and.

Speaker 10 (54:41):
I would, yeah, thank you, And I just wanted to sorry,
I'm going to cut you off, but I just wanted
to say that judgment never helps any conversation move forward.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
Boom, What a what a phrase to end on judgment
never helps any conversation move forward.

Speaker 4 (54:56):
Love that.

Speaker 1 (54:58):
All right, doctor, Thank you someone for your time. Also,
plug your podcast for everybody because we know you have
a popular podcast.

Speaker 10 (55:05):
Well I did, but we couldn't get funding for future seasons.

Speaker 8 (55:10):
So yeah, I did have.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
A go oh well, plug the I listened to some episodes,
So plug this show that you that is available, the
ones you did do.

Speaker 8 (55:16):
So yeah.

Speaker 10 (55:17):
I did a podcast with the Ted Audio collective all
about your body called body Stuff, and I got to
talk to amazing experts all around the world. We talked
about the history of why we believe things about our
body and also to experts to put that history into perspective.
And it was wonderful and unfortunately, you know, as a
fact check, science based fun podcast, just didn't seem to

(55:39):
attract advertisers.

Speaker 1 (55:40):
So that's the episodes are up there and you listen
to them.

Speaker 8 (55:43):
There are there's two seasons, and.

Speaker 1 (55:46):
I listened to a bunch and got educated. And also,
I hope you'll come back on our show. We are
lucky enough.

Speaker 3 (55:51):
Do you want to plug your book? Also?

Speaker 1 (55:52):
Oh yeah, yeah, China Bible.

Speaker 10 (55:54):
So I have the Vagina Bible, which came out in
twenty nineteen. I also have the Menopause Manifesto, which is
all about out metopause obviously, and then I have a
new book coming out in January January twenty third called
Blood and it's the science, medicine and mythology of menstruation.

Speaker 1 (56:10):
Wow. Well, I just think you're so wise and we
really appreciate you. I hope you'll come back.

Speaker 3 (56:16):
Yeah, I hope. I didn't freaking turn you off from
coming back.

Speaker 8 (56:20):
No I have.

Speaker 10 (56:21):
I'm more than happy to come back. And I just
have to tell you guys, you know, Scrubbs was such
a fantastic show for me to see as a doctor,
and I will echo every other doctor's sentiment that is
the most accurate medical show that has ever existed.

Speaker 8 (56:36):
So thank you, guys, Thank.

Speaker 1 (56:38):
You, and we just want to you know, it's you know,
we're mostly a comedy podcast, but I think Donald and
I both feel like, in the spirit of being fake doctors,
let's let's take the opportunity when we can because we
have so many people listening to share some interesting medical
tips and advice and education for people. So thank you
so much.

Speaker 8 (56:55):
Well, thank you for having me. Thank you so much.
I love to come back anytime.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
And we'd love to talk about penises and vaginas on
this so you fit in perfectly.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Yes, thank you, Doctor Gunter, thank you.

Speaker 3 (57:07):
All right, we should take a break. Broad it right.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
Donald, You're right. All this vagina talk has made us
need a break. We'll be right back and we're ba.
We're back, We're back, We're back, and listen. This segment
of Fake Doctor's Real Friends is brought to you by

(57:30):
T Mobile five G Home Internet, protecting you from exploding
bills with a price lock guarantee. Visit t mobile dot
com slash Zach to check availability. If you recall from
our last episode, someone asked if someone Bill knew from
his high school days was an inspiration for doctor Kim,
played by Elizabeth Banks. Well, now we finally have an

(57:51):
answer for Bill, so here it is.

Speaker 3 (57:54):
Hey, Donald, Hey Daniel, Hey Joel.

Speaker 4 (57:57):
It's cool to you guys, Zach, thank you.

Speaker 3 (58:04):
Look Kim Briggs.

Speaker 11 (58:06):
Everybody had a crush on Kim Robinson in high school,
so it makes sense. Checks, but my high school girlfriend
in high school, my high school girlfriend in high school
is a horrible sentence. She was named Sarah Briggs, and
I think she dumped me about six or seven times

(58:27):
over three years also checks out. But Kim Briggs was
based on Sarah Briggs and Kim Robinson will have to
be in a future show. That's all I'm saying. I
want to bust somebody's mom's story. Yeah, but just tell this.
There were lots of Kim Robinson crushes floating around.

Speaker 2 (58:45):
So Kim, you definitely did well in high school as
far as the crushes go.

Speaker 3 (58:52):
It just wasn't Bill Lawrence.

Speaker 1 (58:54):
Yeah. Well, that's a happy ending to the story. Thanks
to Mobile. If you're over exploding internet bills, visit T
mobile dot com slash Zach and find out how new
and existing customers get T mobiles price lock guarantee for
home Internet. Thank you everybody for tuning in, Joelle. What

(59:17):
else do we have to tell everyone anything?

Speaker 5 (59:19):
Uh No, I mean other than you know, feel free
to DMA's messages about what kind of specialist you'd like
to see on the show. Who are you? And we're
doing sort of like a sex tober thing or.

Speaker 1 (59:29):
We're doing Sextober. We should have we should definitely have
a sex therapist, Joelle, because I love the gynecologist. Said, hey,
this is the end of my specialty, but you should
have a sex therapist to and I think that would
be very helpful to us.

Speaker 2 (59:42):
I agree when she said that. I got very excited
when you and you said Joel book a sex therapist.

Speaker 3 (59:49):
In my mind, I was like, first of all, free
sex therapy.

Speaker 1 (59:54):
Session. It's not I want that. I want you and
the audience to all know that this is not. So
you can have a personal session with the second.

Speaker 3 (01:00:02):
Oh, we'll give you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
We'll give you minutes. We'll give on their number and
you can hire them privately for a private session.

Speaker 3 (01:00:12):
Can we get like ten minutes?

Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
Just I know why you showing like on the zoom,
like like what should I do when I'm in this position?

Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
Oh? I didn't know that that's what sex therapy was.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
I think it can be anything related to inner gors.
You can be like how do I do X Y
or Z or what does this position do?

Speaker 2 (01:00:27):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (01:00:27):
I can't wait to have a sex therapist on. Let
me ask a question.

Speaker 1 (01:00:31):
I'm a little nervous when I was when I was younger.

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
I dated a girl who was like, I'm going to
be a sex therapist when I was When I get older,
and in my mind, I was like, well, what the
fuck does that entail? What do you have to do
when you are a sex therapist?

Speaker 3 (01:00:43):
And so I'm very I don't think you do well.

Speaker 1 (01:00:46):
I don't know, Joelle, do you know if they're if
there if there's versions. I don't think they touch the person,
They just coach them.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (01:00:56):
A license to sex therapist is mostly, to the best
of my knowledge, listening to you and giving advice. There
are other types of sex therapies where someone might be
appropriate ways to help.

Speaker 3 (01:01:10):
It's not Do you think there's appropriate Do you think
there's somebody Do.

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
You think there's a doctor who's like and then try
this can forefingers? Now, now, Carl just gently put the
thumb on the booty, like, do you think.

Speaker 5 (01:01:26):
It would surprise me? We talked about having a tantrik
yoga person. We talked about having.

Speaker 1 (01:01:31):
Yeah, let's have a person. Oh, I feel bad for
Casey if we have, because there's no way.

Speaker 3 (01:01:38):
Casey is gonna let me bang and be like, no mistake.

Speaker 5 (01:01:46):
Oh my god, you're wild.

Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
I think Dane is a bit more than and then
saying but I don't know much.

Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
That's what Sting used to do. Right, do you have
sex for like twenty four hours.

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
Stay all right, I think that's a good note to
wrap up the show.

Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
All right, we'll see you next time. This is Zach
and Donald's coming at you live.

Speaker 9 (01:02:18):
That show we made about a bunch of talks and
nurses in Jana. I said, here's the stories next.

Speaker 3 (01:02:27):
All should know.

Speaker 9 (01:02:30):
So Gada round you here, up, Gada, round you here up.

Speaker 3 (01:02:34):
Sweet for me, wat show me is Zach