208: My Fruit Cup With Heather Locklear

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Donald. They are making a Lando series for Disney Plus,
and uh, Donald, Lover's coming back and I just don't
see how anyone could avoid you being on this show.
Wait Donald's when did How did I miss this this morning?
Oh see, Joel, I had it right. Yeah, this is

(00:20):
brand new news. Uh. They think they just dropped a trailer.
I haven't watched the trailer trailer. Yeah, I think yeah,
somebody was saying that there's some images on Disney Plus,
so I'm not sure if they cut a trailer from me. Listen. Wait, Joel,
it's already been filmed. No, it hasn't been filmed. No, no, no,
I think it's footage from Solo that's been caught up

(00:42):
like that, like, yeah, he's in there doing his Lando
thing and they're like coming soon and Lando Calrizzi. Listen.
I was gonna say, Solo is a good movie. Y'all
can hate if you want to and act like so
I didn't make it through. Let me just listen. Let
me just tell you something right now. It was nothing
wrong with Solo. It was a fun Star Wars movie.

(01:04):
If it had come out before the Last Jedi, when
everybody was kind of over Star Wars for that little
bit of time. I promise you it would have been
well received. The problem was it was Rogue One, the
Last Jedi, and then Solo, all within a year and
a half, and Nat freaking made it so everyone was like,

(01:26):
I'm not up there. It's too much Star Wars for me.
It's too much Star Wars. But listen, listen. If that
would have if that were the Force Awakens, Let's say,
how about this, now, I'm not gonna go down to wormhole.
What if that was one of the if that was
one of the first television shows. Let's say that was
what The Mandalorian was. If Solo was what the Mandalorian was.

(01:47):
When it came on, everybody and it and and and
they were like, look, we're not gonna make it a movie.
We're just gonna make it a television show. We're gonna
do nine episodes of Solo. And the first episode was
the movie that we saw. Everybody would be losing them
mind on how great Solo was. So don't get me
the bullshit. It was just too much Star Wars. Okay
for our own podcast, Yeah, exactly. And I also think

(02:10):
anytime a directors are replaced with a new director, and
that director comes in and has to sort of start
from whatever point he's starting. I mean, it's kind of
a recipe for a disaster. It's two different movies. There's
the there's the Christ and Film movie, and then there's
the Ron Horward movie. I would have really liked have
seen the Christ And Film movie because they're they're funny dudes.

(02:32):
But but but I guess my my assumption was always that
they must have gone off too far in there in
their own direction. And Kathleen Kennedy, the woman who you
can't recognize from her identical twin, probably thought like, Hey,
that's not the tone of this. What are you guys doing.
I don't know, I don't know what I made that up.
I made that up in my head, Joel. But it
doesn't that sound like it's realistic. I'm very curious to

(02:55):
know the real story of what all went down. I've
heard a lot, a lot of rumors, but there's there's
nothing convaried. Everyone's being very tight lipped as of now.
I think it's a story will hear more about in
five or ten years? Well, I think yeah, one day. Yes.
Everybody's so excited for the Snyder DC cut and everything
like that, is it really going to be better than
the Justice League movie? Though? I don't know, but all

(03:18):
I can tell you is this, I'm just asking out there.
Joel nodded her head like I don't know. Dan nodded
his head like I don't know. But everybody bought whatever
the HBO Max. Is that what it is? Yeah? Yeah,
you have to buy HBO Max? Or is it? If
you have you have Hbo? Do you just get HBO Max?
You can actually answer this question. If you have a subscription,

(03:38):
you do not need to buy it. You can use
your can log in like your you're yeah, like if
I have it through if I have it through my
cable or whatever, I have it, Okay. But if you
don't have it and you're like, I'd rather just pay
like ten dollars and have the HBO streaming experience, you
can do that as well, and it's totally worth it.
There's so much content. And when does the Snyder cut drop?
That is a Google question. Let me find out, ding

(04:00):
And how are you a day? How are you? Well?
I'm you know, doing it the best I can. California
just reached reached number one in the US with Yeah,
congrats everybody, congrats we did. We did a thunderous applause, Dan, No,
how about instead of thunderou applause, Dan, you just do
thunderous booing. Yeah, jeers, Dan, jeers. We did work, good work,

(04:25):
did it? Good work, La, good work, California. We are
the worst, dude. We're gonna be making movies and Stad
nobody's gonna make anything here. Well, you know it's okay, though,
it's okay. We had it coming. We were so freaking
and this is Canada's chance, you know, how like if
we're in pole position for production and Canada's like, oh shit,

(04:48):
and now you can hold in the cars they take
it on the turn and then they make a move
on turns. Yeah, this is Canada's chance to come in.
Just steal all the US production. Good luck. They can
do it right now. You can do it right now,
right now, Canada. You need to make the incentives even
bigger and bam, it's over. Just don't tax us, just

(05:08):
don't tax us. Everyone will come. Do you know that
the film industry started in my in my hometown, well,
my home neighborhood of well Edison's Black Mariah, where he
was making the very first films was in West Orange,
New Jersey. That's where his laboratory and where he did

(05:28):
all his work was. You can actually go there. It's
a museum. And the Black Mariah was his first sound stage.
I don't know if you guys know this trivia and
the Black Mariah was a rectangle or square that sat
on a giant circular track and so it could spin.
It had a sunroof and it would spin to find
the light because Edison needed so much light to make

(05:49):
these films that the roof would open and the whole
thing would rotate three hundred and sixty degrees to find
the sun. And so the movie industry begins and it's like,
holy shit, this is a thing. And then someone goes,
why are we doing this in New Jersey? Why don't
we do this where the sun is always out and
it's always seventy five degrees and it's always sunny, and

(06:10):
we don't have to We can do whatever the how
we want. And that's how this song all the leaders,
all the leaves are brown, and the sky is great,
and this guy's great California Canyfunia tree on a way Tuesday.
Well that was that was a beautiful condition that was

(06:31):
written a few years later in the sixties. Okay, but
that's about living in Laurel Canyon, and I think right
being there's a great documentary on the Laurel Canyon music scene.
I highly It's called Laurel Canyon, I believe, and it's
on epics UM and there's a two parter and it's

(06:53):
about the music scene in the sixties and the seventies
and Laurel Canyon, and it's just fucking great if you
love music and music documentaries. I do love music and
I do. How are you, man? It's I'm good. Heather
Locklear's here today. That's a thing that's amazing. First, is
she here, Dan, Joel? Is she in the waiting room?
Probably we should probably get into this shathering. Nobody leaves

(07:14):
Heather in the corner. Only Heather in the corner. I'm nervous.
Can I be honest with you that I'm I'm nervous too.
I'm gonna be honest with you. Yes, I knew that
we had a guest, and I knew that it was
someone of importance. Yes I did not. I'm afraid I
did not know the magnitude of the guests this week.
I did you not know that it was Heather Locklear.

(07:35):
She's the only star in the episode that would that
we would ask. I mean, who did you think it
might be besides Heather Locklear? I thought it was Shay
because this is such an important episode. Also, no Shay
or specifically requested his story, which I believe is the
episode Johnny C voiceovers, Okay, so I think that's one
of Shay's favorites. So he said, Shay, you pick because

(07:58):
this is such an important story in the whole you know,
Scrubs thing. This episode is so important. I never imagine
in my whole life that I would ever be in
a position to keep Heather lockle You're winning. Let's not
doing it before, let's end stop it six seven eight
stories about show we made about a bunch of docs

(08:21):
and nurses, and Can said, he's the stories. So gather
around you. Here are yeado around you? Here? Heather? Can
you here? We go? I got so excited. My dogs

(08:49):
are all barking. Now, hey, shut up, I'm talking to
Heather Locklear. How are you guys? Hi, Heather, we are
so excited you're doing this. We're very deep, saying Donald,
you look like you're in a closet with clothes. What's
going on? Where are he is in a closet with

(09:10):
clothes that you nailed it? This is my closet. I
share it with my wife. I was hoping because there's
some nice thing. Yeah, put something up, something else up,
because it was just my golf shirts and stuff. She
would like, that's ugly to look at. Let me put
Let me put Oh you didn't tell me that those
dresses were up as background designed by Casey. I thought
that they were outfit she might be wearing soon. Now

(09:32):
you're telling me that Donald might be or Donald might
be wearing. But you're now you're saying that Casey didn't
like the look of the closet on the and decorated
a little bit. Yeah, she put up. She put up
something so that the backdrop was a little different. Move
the camera a little bit. Is so, Zach, you're all
happening there? That? Yes, Heather, I I, well, Donald has
Donald has two young children, and so he kind of

(09:53):
has to hide out in his walking closet to do
this here. I put my dog out with my boyfriend
because he would ark and be all over and and
my daughter just left Donald. I have to say, she
just wanted to say that she has a crush on you.
I don't think she. Yeah, I don't think she ever
saw it Scrubs but she I don't think she was alive.
But I think she saw Uptown Girls together. Right, we were.

(10:18):
We've been talking about this now, we have so much
to ask you. But wait, since you brought it up,
let's start with Uptown Girls. Donald's told us a lot
of fun memories of making that movie. Howther did you
have a good time making that movie? No, he had
good friends with the co stars. He really didn't talk
to me. I think we had one night out. Yeah.
He was really sweet, but he had He was very
much in a group, and I was the old lady
of everything. So I was like, Okay, that's not it

(10:38):
at all. Donald, Were you too cool for school? Sovous?
I was so unrvous? Yes I was, he was? He was?
He was, trust me. I was. That's so sweet. We
had we I think we had one, yeah, just one
night out, right, that was it. It was one long night,
long night in a line or something. Yeah, yeah, but

(11:01):
if yeah, that was it. Fun time. I enjoyed making
that movie. I enjoyed being in that city in the summertime.
That was so cool. I know. I was like, I'll
all go to New York. That's great. It's so rare
when someone actually lets you shoot in Manhattan these days
or even those days. So when someone's like it's a
movie and you're like, okay, I like the script, they're like,
and it's shooting in Vancouver. Yeah, exactly, exactly right, that's

(11:23):
how it always. We were just saying that how Vancouver
has an opportunity right now, right this mo yeah us right,
but they could snatch up all the work. I know.
We just said that before you, before you came on,
and Heather, we were saying that Canada is in a
position since the since COVID is just devouring Los Angeles
to steal production once and for all. Oh for sure, yeah,

(11:44):
just not with us. Yeah we're not allowed in, but
maybe one day to let us in. Maybe one day
to let us in. We never really wanted to go
to Canada so much, I know, and now and now
it's exact. It's exactly like like life when someone's like,
now we don't now you know. Now we're all like,
please let us in, please let be let us be
in a relationship with you, right exactly, Heather, I was

(12:06):
just looking at your IMDb, and an actor could only
dream to have had the length of a career you've had.
I mean you have. I can't. I I donald and
I can only hope that that we have a fraction
of the success you've had over your life. Oh you
already do No, No, no, you're started. No, you started right.
I'm older than you. Well, I'm older than you. Have

(12:27):
time to catch up. You have a smigels. But but
you started very young. And now is it true that
I was just looking? What was the was chips? Your
very first job, That's what I says. It was my
first job. My first line, make them stop, please make
them stop? Wow. I remember that was good. I would
It was actually a group of motorcycle riders throwing a

(12:50):
girl up in a blanket. I don't know if it
was me or someone else, but I remember for the audition,
I was always nervous and um for the audition. I
heard the girl before me say make them so please
make them stuck, and I'm like, oh, that's the way
I'm supposed to do it. So I copied her. You
stole her line reading I'm gonna try that. I did.

(13:12):
I was Yeah, it was very good. So wait, why
so these motorcycle man, I just want to catch the scene.
They have a teenage girl in a blanket and they're
throwing I think there's two of us and um and
I think, yeah, they might be throwing the other girl
up in a blanket and there she's so terrified of
these guys and I'm screaming, make them stop. I don't
know who I'm screaming to. Probably probably to punch, Yeah,

(13:32):
probably to punch your job. I hope it was John
and Punch that came to your rescue. Yeah, it's like
if you're on if you're on Chips and like your
storyline didn't involve Punch or John point ye. I wonder
if that happen with us, like people like you know, Heather,
you got to do two episodes and you got to

(13:54):
interact with almost everyone. Yeah, I'd be funny if you
came to do a show that was popular and like,
you know, your storyline didn't include any of the lead
carrect can you imagine You're like, oh, it's that's well. Oh,
actually there was something I did. I did the First
Wives Club, and um, there was a couple of scenes
and there was there was a couple of scenes that

(14:14):
they cut out of me, and then the only scene
that I had at no lines, and one of the
actors were at a funeral and he's supposed to take
his hand and touch my breast and they show that
and he actually touched more than It was kind of
a gross and so I said, can you just take
my name off the credit since now I don't have
any lines or and you know, I saw everyone from Afar,

(14:36):
so it was credit less. So wait, you're in the
First Wives Club and the only thing that happens is
a man grabs your breasts. He doesn't grab it, he
actually outlines my areo low with his finger. I didn't
didn't say that in the script. I was like, I'm
so glad they're following his hand down because my face,
my mouth is fallen open and I can't believe it.
And don't do it again. Just one take and let's go.

(14:57):
Oh my god. Yeah, you know, I you know, I've
never asked someone this, but it's just it must be.
It's a it's a blessing because you're such a stunning
woman and always have been a sex I think it's
safe to say you were a sex symbol because you
are you are and were okay, no, you were in
art and uh, is it ever? Because Donald and I

(15:17):
never faced this problem and we're not sex symbols, But
I mean, did you ever feel like did you feel
like did you did you sometimes feel like guys like
I don't I want to do the part, but I
don't want to do that that random sex scene with
that guy, Like does that have to be in there?
Does that come up? Well, it wasn't really. We were
at we were in a funeral. We were on the
benches at the church. Yeah, so it was and so

(15:38):
there was more to the part. And I had feeling
the bigger, bigger scenes, and that's they just thought they
I don't know, maybe I was bad in it, and
they went, let's just put that. I doubt it. You're
one of the viewer. You're one of the very few people.
You're one of the very people that we were talking
about you because you're one of the very few people
that was on two it hit shows at the same time,
right right, that was very cool. I tell us about

(15:59):
that you were doing you were doing Dynasty, Dynasty and
and t J Hooker. First, I could how opposite can
you be? Um? And Dynasty. I think they let me
go because they were letting someone else go and I'm like, okay,
So then I got this other job, t J. Hooker,
and then they brought me back. So um, you know
I would we work week here in a couple days

(16:22):
on Dynasty and it was no big deal. I wasn't
the main purse character, so it's only out a few
lines in each thing. It wasn't tough at all. It
was a big deal because that doesn't ever happen to anybody. Yeah,
with two different networks, with a two different networks. Now
it was ABC and it was they were both spelling
o that. Yeah. Sure did love Heather Locklear. He sure did.

(16:43):
And then he passed away. And then I'm like, jobless,
don't say that. Don't say you listen to Bill Bill
Lawrence Lear Well, I did Spin City and I'm not
sure if he was writing on it then or not.
I'm not sure what the thing was. Maybe he left,
but I think he might have created it. Is that
true or not? Yes, he created the show, and I'm

(17:05):
sure if he wasn't writing that, he obviously thought you
were very funny something. Yeah, but he also you know,
Bill is a very one thing about our friends. He's
very loyal and when he likes people, he likes to
work with them over and over again. So even if
he wasn't writing the show at the time, the fact
that you were on the show means he was like, oh,
you know, he's obviously seen your work and thought, oh,

(17:27):
she's so funny, she's so beautiful. And well I befriended
his wife, and so now I get Christmas cards. Oh
that's the way in. That's the way that is. It's
always the wife. Chris. What was t J. Hooker like,
because we always hear all these Shatner stories, mostly from
Star Trek, but but you knew like Shatner, I mean,
this is a long time ago. Well, he was very

(17:49):
intimidating to me, and he's like, when you stop speaking, saying,
you know, like you can't think for any lines, kind
of like on your Sean scrubs, you can't think, you
can't go hum, I mean you do, you guys do?
Then you have that bubble where you're doing something else.
But he would say, if you stop speaking and take
I'm gonna start, I'm gonna jump in. So I'm like baa.
And it was always like license plate numbers. I'd have

(18:11):
to remember, oh, license plate blah blah blah, blah blah,
and this and blah blah. And they'd have different fifty
different characters in one show, and so I was just
delivering them boring information and it made me so nervous.
So and he'd look at me and stare and wait,
and I'd go and he jumped in and that was
about it. He is very intimate. He's Captain Kirk. I
can understand why he's well, I didn't ever see those shows.

(18:34):
So he was the William shat even at the last
even at the time, Heather, were you curious to not
to go back and see, like, oh, let me see
what this was? This guy's the lure of Shatner. Yes,
I did. I could see the allure. He's very charming. Um.
But he's very and he's very funny and very dry. UM.
I ended up doing a Boston Legal with him and

(18:55):
that was fun. And I was a little older more
it seemed closer to his age than I was eighteen
um and brand new. Um. But he and then I
remember going I think I don't maybe it was Nobu
and um I it was he and his wife and
we went to some place where you throw the braws

(19:15):
off and you put him on the ceiling something like
something similar, something similar. I don't think it was that,
but it was another place and I was on the
bar and I go, should I take it off? And
I'm thinking he's probably going, why are you asking me?
And he said sure, and I took it off and
it's left there somewhere. Um, he's like, why why asking me? Right? Um? Uh?

(19:42):
What's his name? On a Seinfeld? The little guy who Yes,
So he is a huge fan of William Shatters And
if you watch, he goes, tell me what schatters like,
tell me what he's like. And I'm like, well, sometimes
he's an asshole, and um, sometimes he's not. But I'm
He's like, oh I got and I didn't want to,
you know, say anything there. I mean, there's nothing wrong

(20:03):
with William Bill but um, so you if you go
back and watch, you'll see his cadence is similar to
William Shatner's. Really he was Jerry, Now you have to
look at it differently. Yeah, coming over, Yeah, coming over, Jerry, exactly,
point the phasers at the Wow. This is gonna blow

(20:25):
people's minds. So Jason Alexander was such a big fan
of William Shatner that if you listen to his cadence,
some of it is in the spirit of that unique
Shatner cadence. Exactly. I want to meet the person. I
want to meet the person who's a fan like like
it's such a fan of like Christopher Walking and tries
to steal his cadence. That's the hardest cadence I've ever

(20:46):
heard in my life. That is the toughest. I feel
at home speaking right seeing of wait, by the way,
you do a great um Jimmy crack corn of Neil
dim I had. It's stuck in my head. I don't care.
Only that is the only impersonation that I can do

(21:07):
that's actually close to it. It's it's it's it's only
because when I was a kid, I used to watch
you know, Transformers and and g I Joe after school
on you know WPI X, and they would always in
between the shows that they would play a commercial for
Neil Diamond's greatest hits, Oh my gosh, and I could

(21:30):
only get the first few lines. I don't I've never
owned a Neil Diamond record. I've never been to a
Neil Diamond concert. I've never seen a Neil Diamond movie.
All I know is that he sang a bunch of
songs and they went like turn on your hard light,
a very good let it shine wherever you go around

(21:53):
the world rocks. Oh my surprise. Now it's the only
all the years I've known him, Heather, it's the only
impression he does. Well. Yeah, like they tried to get
me to do Aaron Nebble, I can't. That's great, that's

(22:25):
all we got. Now. I'm guessing Jimmy krack Corn is
probably a public domain song. I'm guessing because they didn't.
Maybe that's why we chose it because we didn't have
to pay for it. But all the songs in this episode, Heather, sometimes,
now that these shows are all streaming, some of the
songs had to be replaced because the contracts they signed

(22:45):
for the original show didn't extend to streaming. So, uh,
this episode I thought really suffered because there was some
good music in this episode that is all gone. I
don't know if you guys live. Yeah, I did watch,
but I didn't well the end to Nellie song right,
and that was not the song. If you want to
go and take a rap with me might yeah, and

(23:13):
then wow, but I just wanted to say that the
show ends and it's supposed to be like we're on
a rooftop and in downtown LA, and it's it's like
and then I was really I was really noticing that
that song whatever they replace the song, well, was someone
that went in. I think it was Randall did Spin City. Yeah,

(23:36):
well he he told Donald and I that he was
the one who had to oversee someone going, hey, we
got to f fill in these slots, and so I
don't know, they're not nearly as good, but I guess
if you have the DVDs, you're the only person with
the real all the real original music. But we we
usually I think I do. Should we get into the recap?
Let's get into the recap because we've got the how
they're Lockley, you're here? Um, JANEA. Bachin wrote this episode.

(24:00):
I mean, do you want me to do that thirty
minute recap? Oh? Sorry, thirty minutes? Sorry, I forgot Heather. Um,
we have a new thing there, Donald, it's not new anymore,
but we keep forgetting it. But Zach keeps forgetting about it.
I love it. I know why I forget about it.
I love it. I don't know either. Listen, it's anxiety
for me. I freaking sit down and I really think

(24:21):
about it, and sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not. That's
how it goes anyway, Heather, he is going to sum
up the whole episode in thirty seconds, and then together
we'll go through and really parse it all out. But
now I can stop, watch out, hold on Donald. Okay, listen,
this might be a little bit longer than thirty seconds,
but I really like it when you at least try
to get thirty sets. But then I might miss out
on things and stutter over my words because I'm so nervous.

(24:44):
This is this is very nervouacking. But here we go, Marks,
get set go. This episode's about a bunch of things,
but mostly it's about double standards. Turke and jd are
fine if they robbed the hospital, but not each other.
Con hates his hates the fact that his girlfriend had baggage,
but winds up having his own. Elliott loves the perks
of having Daddy take care of everything, but longs to

(25:06):
make her own career decisions. This is an important episode
because at the end, all of them are moving forward
in their personal lives Turken Caller. At the next level
of their relationship, Jordan and Cox are going to start
a family, Elliott is stepping away from her comfort zone,
and the hospital is becoming more of a backdrop, meaning
this is a sneak peak of what's to come. Oh shit,

(25:28):
all right, that was amazing. It was amazing. It was
thirty nine seconds. So in some ways you failed. But
let me tell you how. You listen, let me tell
you how didn't give a I don't care. I don't
care if I feel it anymore. I don't care because
it could be I'll do a minute one next time.
I want to give you a genuine compliment. Do a
minute one next time. I want to give you a

(25:48):
genuine compliment. Donald, that was real, not no bullshit. That
was a very good summary, and you actually highlighted things
that I didn't even see. I saw what you're saying
in terms of the episode being um being about new
chapters in a sense, but I didn't think of it
in the macro like, oh, this is a shift in
in in the show in that we tease the marriage,

(26:11):
We tease Johnny C and Christa getting back together. Um,
we tease Elliott going off on her own. Right, Elliott
is separating from her parents, and and and and being
financially independent, and JD realizing he's about to be in
limbo at the end of the episode, right j JD
nervous about losing his best friend because Carlos says the
word we about Turk and her and and he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

(26:34):
what's happening here? Am I gonna lose my best friend?
So my point is that was very good because your
your summary was not just hey, here are the facts.
It had some insight into it. I will gladly give
up those nine seconds of failure appreciate the insight. So
that thunders applause Dan, thunders applause Dan, Dan, I'm going
to approve that thunderous applause. Second, I wonder if we

(26:57):
should make it so when we add these thunder supplause
sound of x if if we both need to improve
it's like it's like, you know, in the Nuclear Code
where they both have to turn their key. Oh yeah, yeah.
That's my favorite part of Superman of three with Richard
Pryor in it, where he's pretending he's drunk and he
has to put the keys in at the same time,

(27:17):
and he makes he makes a little uh, not a concoction,
but like a little uh levy using another person. If
you ever go to the opportunity, what about the beginning
of war games? What about the beginning of war games
when they go turn your key, sir put the turn
your key and he puts his gun. Yeah, oh that
was a great scene. Love it. Sorry, Heather, we sometimes
have trouble staying on to love me. Thanks to look

(27:41):
for this podcast should be called a digression. That's okay.
It's some people. I see some people on the web.
We're commenting like, I really enjoy it, but they don't
always talk about the episode. I'm like, well, guys, that's
the show. This is the show. That the show, the
show is there, right, the show is this right? We
also have okay, so they all they talk about things

(28:03):
I don't know where Yeah, all right, so um. The
first thing I laughed at out loud was when I
walk in Carla is in the apartment and I pick
up our taxidermy dog to hide my my tidy whities,
and Donald walks and he goes, don't use rowdy to
cover up your giblets. The dialogue is excellent. Weird word

(28:27):
for what A weird word for what? A great word
for grin giblets. I like it giblets. It it sounds
like what what is it? Gizzards? To me? Like, what
are giblets? What are giblets? It's the extra it's the
extra stuff my biscuits. A burning giblets are the stuff
you don't use when you cook a turkey, right, chicken

(28:49):
or chi whatever? I don't know. I thought take it
out that I don't know. That culinary term for edible
awful of a foul a, typically includes the heart, the
actual gizzards, liver, and other organs. There you go, I
know what those other ones are. Yeah, yeah, No one

(29:09):
cooks chicken penis. It might be a delicacy somewhere about
to say, you never know. You never know either do
you like eating weird stuff or or are you conservatively
you're you know, no, I eat like what's weird giblets?
I don't. I'm not saying eat giblets, but like to

(29:29):
eat like, you know, when you're out and about and
someone says, oh, tried this weird food. Do you do
you do that? Because I normally don't, I'm like, no,
I'm gonna have you ever had have you ever had snails? No,
I've never had a cargo I have. That's good, but no,
I usually ask for someone else to taste it first
and look at their face. Donald, Donald, are you an

(29:50):
adventurous I don't think you don't you like what you like.
I don't around with food, man, but you like sushi.
I do like sushi, and I like Let's And texture
is a big deal for me. And if I know
what it is and then the texture is what I
imagine it would be like, then I have a problem
with it. Like somebody was like, do you like beef tongue?

(30:11):
And I was like, absolutely not. No. And it's all
because when I was younger, I tried it and my
grandmother made it and I tried it and it tasted
exactly well, it didn't taste like but it felt in
my mouth exactly what I thought a tongue would feel like.
If you can always like, just check your own tongue
and it's probably like that, yeah, exactly what it was

(30:32):
like chewing on my own tongue. And I was like,
I'll never ever ever see it in there, and like
the deli counter, they'll be just like a giant beef tongue.
It's I don't like that. Those those people eat brains too,
they eat cal brains, right, Yeah, no, I you know,
it's a delicacy in some places. It's like it's like
watching Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Chilled monkey Brain. Yeah,

(30:53):
as we talked about that movie gave me nightmares. Yeah. Um,
this was a big episode, yeah, from me in particular.
When I look back at it now, it's even bigger.
Ken Winningham, the first black director Scrubs has ever had, yes,
directed this episode. Yeah, I think this is its first
time directing it too. And Ken's a very good director,

(31:16):
and he became one of our regulars because we love
Ken Winningham. He's gone on to direct so many shows.
He's directs pretty much everything. He's directed pretty much everything.
But I remember thinking, I remember thinking about it, Oh
they hired a brother. Okay, Um, so that that was good?
I mean that was that made you feel? Um like
okay about obviously about time, guys, it's like middle of

(31:38):
season two. How about some people of different minorities that
are directing the show? Right? We did, we had had
a had we had a woman, we'd had a couple
of women director already at this point, maybe Gail Mancuso.
I think, yeah, but I mean now and now this
is twenty years later, this is still a big conversation. Yeah,
it's what it is, right and you know, you know,

(32:00):
we've still got to make these moves. But it's it's
it's what it is, and it's time for it's time
to change that. We got to restart coming up soon.
So that's that's uh now now in again, I think
in a in a good way, there's a mandate making
sure people do it's you know, the networks in the studios.
I've really said when when we meet our show alex Sync,

(32:22):
they said, no, we want you know, it isn't It
isn't like oh, you guys can do whatever you want.
It's like, no, we would like a certain amount of
minorities to be represented, we'd like a certain amount of
women to be represented. And I think that that's really
great and only getting better. I agree with you. Let's
go to break, guys, We're gonna go to break and
be right back with Heather Lock. Were anybody um I'm

(32:52):
weeping at two fifty four because doctor Cox I think
winked at me, and that's how happy I am. That
is approve. Were those real tears or did somebody? No? No,
I mean when I'm doing a dramatic thing, I can
get myself there. But in a comedic cart in no way,
am I just gonna start bawling? All right? I want

(33:12):
to ask you, I want to ask you to do it.
Can you do that? Can you cry on cue? No? Right,
it's very hard. I mean I want you to tell
the Garden State story, dude, tell the story of Natalie
Portman and tell the story of you. The two different
versions of crying in that movie. Well, Natalie is very
good at that. Natalie Um like some actresses I know.
Can Sarah Chawk's another person I know who can do this,

(33:35):
can kind of go off in the corner for a
minute and get herself into a head place. Yeah, and
then and then do it and cry for me. And
then Garden State she had to do that a lot
because she had some some crying moments for me. I
actually was a blessing in disguise because when there was
a scene in in the in a bathtub, empty bathtub

(33:55):
where we're sitting and I was meant to cry and
I there was a we shot the i'd master shot first,
and and and like I said, just being in that
moment and with such a good actress, and it was
so real. It genuinely happened, and I cried and it
was a powerful moment, except that it was the big
wide master right and um, and the camera wasn't going

(34:17):
to see most of that. It was just sort of
establishing the room. The trick for those of you who
aren't in the entertainment sustry and doing what we do
is now you're gonna to do that over and over
and over again. You're gonna have to do it when
the when the medium shot, you have to do it,
when it's a close up. You're gonna have to do
it when it's over Natalie's shoulder. And for me, that
was close to impossible to just keep being able to
emulate what had happened naturally in the wide shot. But

(34:39):
that's the that's the task of a of an actor,
but for me it was But but I was also directing,
so then I had to go, Okay, this isn't gonna match,
and you know what, maybe it's too much. So I
decided just to just on on the spot, go if
it's not happening naturally. I don't want it to be
this false. So then it became I only shed one

(35:00):
single tear, and then we had a joke about her
collecting it in a little plastic cup. But but so
that that was kind of how I help, because when
I was directing, I felt like, you know, if it's
forced and it's false, and it's weird that I'd rather
not have it even be in the in the show,
is that what you meant to supermedi itself? The exact
story I was talking about. I found that such. I
found that so fascinating. It was like the scene was

(35:22):
supposed to be something else, and you you know, you
blew your wad in the first your first in the yeah,
and now it's and now it's time to do it again,
and it's like, all right, well we're not gonna get that.
And you turned it. You turned the negative into a positive.
And it's actually one of the more powerful scenes in

(35:44):
the movie. Yeah, thank you, thank you, it's pretty great.
Thank you, no, no go you guys. I was going
to say that it's a it's a good lesson for
filmmakers out there. Um, it doesn't have to be related
to tears, but about about adapting. So something happens and
you go and I've had this happen. You know, when
you're directing something, whether it's a music video or a

(36:04):
giant feature film, every day something is going to happen
where you're gonna go, Okay, that's not according to plan.
Is this a blessing in disguise? So for me in
this example Donald's talking about, it was like being able
to cry NonStop for for hours was just not going
to happen. It just wasn't what my head wasn't in
that space. I was also directing the movie and had
so much anxiety going on. So then it was like shifting, Well,

(36:25):
what if it's not that. Maybe maybe bawling like that
is way too much for this character. What if it's if?
What if it's actually a joke that all I can
produce is one tier and we laugh about it. So
sometimes just going with it and coming up with a
new plan on the spot is one of the most
crucial things of being a filmmaker, but also a lot
of blessings in disguise can come out of it. Usually

(36:48):
when I'm in that place, the director says, don't blow
it on this master, we're gonna it's going to be
for a second and then we'll come in and do that.
But I do find what you said. I mean, I
I don't think tears unless it's like for whatever reason
is called for. I think the real moment is when
you're in the moment, and if it comes, it comes,
But usually your face and your heart starts to happen,

(37:09):
and all kinds of stuff happen. It becomes more real.
Rather than showing something and trying to get to show something,
it's whatever else has I agree, it never feels as
good as a pet peeve of mine when you watch
so many movies and TV shows where someone is crying
but there aren't tears coming down their face. Yeah, next
time you watch it a crying scene, notice if the
persons has actual tears in their eyes, because a lot

(37:33):
of times they're scrunging up their face and making the noises,
which is just a huge pet peeve of mine. I
would if the moment, if it's a necessity and the
project needs it, there are there's mental blow in their eyes.
There's all sorts of tricks like if it's mandatory, go
do it, go fake it, but don't don't do the
there's no water in your eyes, crunch up face thing.

(37:53):
I hate that. I feel like Jane Fonda did that
on a Golden Pond or something. She talked about that
she had no tears left or something. I don't remember
something like that, but yeah, I think whatever the real
moment is is, if there's not a tear, yeah, just
don't fake it. Just go Yeah. People have reactions about
stuff and it's no tears come out, of course. And

(38:14):
also sometimes even as a writer, I find myself writing
something where I'll go, you know, in the script, I'll write,
she hears the news and instantly breaks down crying, and
and then you think, in reality, a lot of times
people that doesn't happen at all. You might cry later,
but in the moment of hearing it, you're just fucking dumbfounded.
You're sitting there life like, you know what I mean.

(38:35):
And I have to catch yourself as I have to
catch myself as a writer going be very sparing with
with with with tears direction and yeah, of course, because
that might happen naturally, but also it can get especially
it's tricky when you're writing. I'm one of the things
I'm working on now is this is this drama and
I have to find you have to find those moments
so it doesn't feel like, oh my god, there's all

(38:55):
these these tears and how do you do that when
the stuff you're talking it is very heavy? Well, what
happens in real life? You know? We donald, I just
had a friend die. Of course I cried, but I
got sorry, thank you. But nine times out of ten,
I was more sitting there like this, dumbfounded with my
with my head in my hands and my jaw dropped.
You know, So you gotta you gotta remind yourselves about

(39:17):
what's what's real, what's what's really, what's what's strong, what
really happens. I remember doing a scene for Dynasty. I
don't think I've ever been angry in my life, you know,
in that up to that time, and um, I was angry,
but I'm so angry. I started crying, and uh, I
think they were like, what the festally doing? But that
was a real emotion for where probably just for me,

(39:38):
you know, because being angry and that brought it about.
But they ended up did they use it? Oh good? Yeah?
I love that stuff. I love happy accidents, you know,
you know. Yeah, in the in the comedy world, we
are always you know, it goes without saying you're trying
to keep those moments in. You know, we riffed something,
we think it's funny, but in the drama space too,
you want to be like, oh my god, Heather got

(39:58):
so fucking she started crying. Eureka, that was natural, that
was real, Like keep it like, that's the stuff, that's
the that's the precious things we all stumble into, you know, Yes, yeah,
it's amazing what we started someone was comedically. I can
never do it comedically, so right that Meg Ryan scene
in Freaking when Harry met Sally when he comes over

(40:21):
and she's crying because uh, she's gonna be thirty soon
and he's like when she's like some day and she's crying,
but it's there. That's one of the best scenes ever
in the history of that That that's scene right there.
That was your favorite comedic that's your favorite comedic crying moment? Yeah,

(40:44):
easily one of That is my favorite comedic crying. Sarah
Chuk was good at doing it for real on this
show because she had times, I think even we've talked
about it where she had to be like, you know,
crying pretty much on cute, not even from a dramatic
moment from like from like, yeah, it's pretty hard, I think, Yeah, analgesic. Now,

(41:06):
I didn't know what what an analgesic was. It's aspirin um. Yeah,
but we've always laughed at this joke because your patient
thinks it's anal jesic and puts the pills in his butt.
That's so good. That's a great joke. Yeah, it's great.
It's pronounced analgesic. The pills go in your mouth, sir, Yeah,

(41:27):
no I didn't. I didn't know what that was, did
you don Donald, you didn't know either, right, I don't
know how many people got that joke at the time. Well, no,
the joke isn't that. The joke is actually when you
tell him that it's not your yeah, right, right, Yeah,
who gives a ship? Right exactly? Okay, you're right, you're right,
you're right. Who cares? What it really is? The joke is,

(41:48):
old man, don't put these pills in your as right, exactly?
That guy, I think Donald, if I'm not mistaken, he
was like a regular go to old man we often use.
I've seen all was he in a bunch of episodes.
I've seen him a few times be like the go
to ancient old man. Do you want to ask Wicki?

(42:10):
Or is this something that Wicki's not gonna know that?
And we haven't given him his his funkle pops. Dan,
and those his funk pops behind you there. I didn't
know Dan has his funcle pops right behind him. Dan,
I didn't know if you purchased those for yourself or
if they were for Scrubs wicky guy. I acquired them
so that we could get weight fined as fast as possible. Okay, Heather,

(42:30):
you might want some of these. They're there. You have
a scrub pops. We have a Scrubs Wikipedia type page
where you uh can look up facts on the show.
And so we got the guy who helped curate this
whole thing with a bunch of other people, and he
comes on the show every now and then the answers
questions for us. But he's he's not really into it,

(42:53):
Like he's kind of into it, but he's not really
into it. So we're bribing him. So we're like a
technical advisor kind of guy. What of Yes, that's a
that's a great way to put it. Yeah, that's a
good way of saying it. He's technically advising. He's like
the keeper of the Scrubs Bible. Right, Well, yeah, I
guess so and so, but we got to bribe him

(43:14):
with Funco pops otherwise he doesn't do his job. Well,
that's what oh Heather, Um, they're they kind of look
like bobbleheads. They're they're a very popular thing. Grown up
action figures is what they are. They're action figures from
grown ups. It's kind of like it's kind of like
a bobblehead, but they don't bother. These ones don't babble.
I don't think, right, Dan, these aren't bobble ones. Right,

(43:37):
there are Funco pops that that that bobble We didn't
get those. Okay, that's very cool. So if your daughter
is truly a fan of Donald Baison, um, I know
it's from Uptown Girls, but you could get her a
Donald Vaison Funco pump. You know, her boyfriend would be destroyed,
okay for him, come up, break up, right up. That

(44:02):
would be the coolest thing ever. I could walk around
and say that I broke them up. The craziest thing
is if my daughter wore that dress behind you, Oh
my God, she might like it. Well, my wife would
probably break up with me right now. I like that.
So there's this pressure, as we understand it, for women,

(44:25):
young doctors to go into become ob gyms because they
make a lot of money, I guess. So we have
this thing where the guino girls are are coming after.
That was funny, and then Jad goes into fantasy and
they're having a pillow fight and they start making out
and then he gets interrupted, so he never gets to
see any of the fun sex. And then he tries

(44:47):
to go back into the fantasy and she says, I'm
very glad that we experimented with each other, but I'll
never do it again. That will never happen again. Yeah,
he's missed the whole dreamy fantasy. Yeah. I love the
at that uh that when uh Heather and Cox are
walking through the hallway and she's saying hi to all

(45:08):
the other doctors and everything like that. Yeah, he thinks
she's just flirting and she's like, no, no, no, I
slept with them and right Tyther unabashedly the characters like
he was like thinks, oh, you're bribing them because you're
selling pharmaceuticals. She's like no, no, I just slept with
them exactly like that about her though, she was like, no,

(45:28):
you get to fuck around, like yeah, I bug around. Yeah,
I mean, and that's my motto too. I think that's
I think that's everybody. I think we're starting to gear
into that being everybody's motto now, like that shouldn't be
any stead Like that's what I was saying. This show
is such about it's this episode in particular is about
double standards. You know what I mean, and how to
and how we and how we tackled double standards. This

(45:49):
dude's so bent out of shape, uh that you slept
with guys at the hospital, but he's got a pregnant
lady yea in his back pocket and what I mean.
And it's like, yep, come on now, you can't, you can't.
What's good for these exactly right, exactly, Heather, Did you
have fun working with our with our pal, the legendary

(46:10):
Johnny c McGinley, Because it looks like you guys, you
guys had great chemistry. He was so much fun and
everybody talks so fast on that show. I was like,
oh my god, here I am. Well I'm shotting her again.
But no, I had a great time with him, and yeah,
he was very, very fun. I really adored him. You
guys had such good chemistry together, did so, thanks Yanks?

(46:30):
You did. You had a good You had a good Bansward.
I'm sure Johnny C was excited when Bill was like, oh,
in your love interest for the week is Heather Lucklear.
I don't think so. It was really fun. John C
McGinley was single at this moment too. He was like,
yeah he did. To Ralph. Heather we were talking about.

(46:54):
And then the episode before this one, because you're in
that one too, about these pharmaceutical reps who were all
often attractive women, and they flirt with the doctors. Did
you know about this lunch? Yeah? Did you know? I
did know about it. I um. They were like, oh yeah,
they take all the doctors to lunch and they flirt
with them and give them all them you know, And
yeah I did. I was very well aware. But my

(47:16):
favorite line was anal leakage and the thing I got
to say. I loved saying anal I think I might
be that could be a good ringtone. Guy. Another one,
another one one. Heather Lockley's saying anal leakage could be
your notification lovely. Um. But yeah, so that but I did.

(47:40):
I was aware of that. Yeah, because we were talking
about in the last episode, how was such a thing
where they they they hired, they recruit these beautiful women
who who doctors are going to flirt with and go
to dinner and drinks with and uh and and we
kept this going, you know, you bring all this swag
to the hospital and the mug. Actually, if you see
there's an earlier scene in this where I'm holding imaking
coffee out of a Plumox mug. That's the that'sh And

(48:03):
then I think Donald didn't we keep it going for
like any shows up in the hospital, there was always
Plumox stuff all around because all your all the swag
you left stayed around for years. Now here's something I wonder. Um,
you know they're always say beautiful women doing that, But
are there beautiful men doing it? Because there's female doctors.
That's a very good question. I think there are. I

(48:25):
think I'm sure I had a handsome friend. I had
a handsome friend from high school who became one of
those guys. I definitely think they're they'd lean to being
good looking people because yeah, I don't know I think,
I think again. I just remember knowing about this twenty
over twenty years ago because I knew girls who did

(48:46):
it and they were all very pretty and they and
they would tell me. They were like, you won't believe
how fucked up this is. Like people don't know, people
don't remember a girl from my from my high school
telling me you don't. You can't believe the data we
have on these doctors, like the shit we know, we know,
we know when they're prescribing it, what else they're prescribing
If they're not prescribing that, how many How it's compared
to last month, Um, when we gave them a big

(49:07):
incentive that trip, Look how much the graph showed how
much they prescribed it more. And I just remember I
remember being like, this is so fucked up. And then
I thought I'd be like I thought it'd be like
discovered and over it's like payola back in the day
of the radio station days. And no it's still going on. Um,
that's still going on today, Like aren't the doctors aware
that this is happening there? Yeah, Trip and the pretty

(49:30):
yah woman, I'm sure. Yeah. I would love to go
play golf with a pharmaceutical rep get me out of
the hospital for four hours. Perfect. Yeah, and sometimes it's
like a golf retreat. All you have to do is
go like watch the plomox video and then you're like
on a golf retreat. Right, yeah, SIPs cool? Yeah, um, Donald,
we have to let Heather Lockleier go because we only

(49:51):
asked her. Yes, listen, we only really only recruited a
legend for an hour, and we can't. We can't keep her.
You're funny, you guys, or funny, but how do we
really want to you guys? You we really We were
both genuinely nervous, so I'm sorry if we spoke fast
and nervously. No, no, me too, So I'm right with you.

(50:12):
It was it was here was a pleasure, but it
was such a big deal to have you on the show.
When when uh when this I remember when it happened
and they were like we got Heather Lockleer and me
being like, holy shit, how do we get out of
lock Leer because he had a good show. Yeah, well,
thank you very much. But it was such a it
was it was such an amazing moment, amazing moment to

(50:34):
have you on the show and then still having an
end also because we had spent the summer together doing
Uptown Girl. Yeah right, that was crazy. It was really nice,
and you know what, it was such a joy for
me to do because it was so different from what
I was doing. And the writing is excellent, the show
is great, and you guys are great and et cetera,
et cetera. Well, thank you. How we really appreciate and

(50:54):
it's good to see you. Good to see you. Ike
care do we have a call? We do? We do
have a caller? Um, um, we're gonna take them right away.
Do we have to go to break? What do we do?
Think I think we should go to break. Let's just
talk for one second about Heather of Lockdoo. I have
to admin. I was very nervous. I spoke fast. I
apologize to the audience. You have to understand I had

(51:17):
such a crush on her as as a young person,
and U I was tongue tied. Donald, I was tongue tied.
You did great. You know what I knew. I sensed
that you were a little nervous. I was making like
I was talking like that, but I sensed it, and
so I tried to throw you into a comfort zone
and just have you talk about you know, uh, garden State.

(51:38):
Oh yeah that was good. Good Ally you Yeah, yeah,
you got me. Yeah, I see what you did. You're
a good co host, you said. Zach's rambling nonsense. Why
don't I steer him to a some subject he likes
to discuss directing films? Right exactly? I see, God, you're good.
It's just because I love you, fucking hell, I love you.
I want to do and on that note, we'll be

(51:59):
right back. How about Sarah calling a vagina a bijinga?
I had? Is this something that it goes on forever
it goes? No? But I am saying, like, did they
make this up the scrubs writers? Because what that? I
never heard of vagina called a bajinga before. I've heard
it called so many things that it has. Somebody somewhere

(52:22):
has to call it a bigenga, like I've heard Nanni
my key key vertical smile, my right, my my my
new new my she she yea, my bigengau, my vagina,
my birdginer, my birdginer mgina. Yeah, vagina, my gin Joel

(52:53):
right Joel or any Jabel or any of those nicknames
from vagina. I don't know. We'll have to google it.
I've never heard, I've never heard before. It was crazy
that you gotta kind of put it like a different like.
I don't know where this accent would come from, but
it's sort of like a grown gan too much vagin

(53:16):
yang too much, too much? Another another one, another one. Oh,
that's a fun game to play make up nonsense terms
for vagina. I'm glad we played. Well, you know we
are well listen, butjingo is bajingo. That's that becomes Sarah's

(53:38):
term for vagina. It's her go to. It's her go to.
Let's bring it our guest, Okay, but don't mention any
of the vagina terms around the gap. Dude, I'm done.
I'm done with it. Want to be appropriate? Hey, Hilly
and shyy who Shelley? Shelley is my mom. So the

(54:00):
last time I used this, we um we were playing
categories with my boyfriend who's in England. But the day
to you, oh you, she took audience members. She took
a sip of a of what looks like an apple tineapple.
It looks like an appletinea. I don't think it's just
wearing water. She's wearing a Han solo tank top Donald. Yeah,

(54:24):
she knows the way to my heart. Yeah she does.
I'm gonna say something. I'm gonna say something real quick.
Yeah ahead, Haley, you might just be the best guest
we've ever had ever. She's wearing that shirt. Can you
tell Donald where to get that shirt? Haley? Please? For
twenty one? That's not gonna be Donald. You shopping Forever
twenty one, Donald's Forever six. You know, I thought Forever

(54:46):
twenty one was the store that you went to when
you were twenty one. I thought that too, but I
was not twenty one when I bought it, So I
thought Forever twenty one meant that you wanted to look
like a twenty one year old. That's not It means
that everything under, everything is twenty one dollars an under
or something. Really, Yeah, Joel, is that true? I think
there's things for over It's listen, I will think it.

(55:08):
You can have three dollars and bigger items were more expensive.
But yeah, but you can divide it and at the
end you get twenty one, right, something like that. This
is oh my god, this is a mind blowing moment
for me because I, up to this moment, thought the
whole concept was let's say you're a little bit older
but you miss feeling like a little hip. You can

(55:30):
go to Forever twenty one and you're gonna look Forever
twenty one. No, no, no no, no, no, it's it's it's
you got a couple of You got a couple of
twenty ones in your pocket and five dollars in your pocket.
You can get five outfits from Forever twenty one. Okay,
I did that math quick. That's quick, that's relatively good.

(55:52):
Where are you calling from, Haley. I'm in Sola, Dad, California,
at my mom's right now. So this is where I've
been all lockdown. Yeah, there is Sola, Dad. Where is
Solo Dad? I don't know where that is. Um, so
it's near. It's about half an hour south on the
one on one of Monterey. Okay, okay, so it's there's
nothing here, it's nothing. You do? You do? You do?

(56:16):
You do? What do you do? Dad? Haley? Um? Right now,
I bide my time until I get to go back
to the UK. So that's where your boyfriend is. And
that's where your boyfriend is, So you want to you
want to get back to him? I do, yes, Haley,
you can go. You can go to the UK, Haley,
you just have to quarantine for two weeks on your own. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

(56:41):
well we're doing a visa right now, so we're working
on that. Oh I see, and um and are you
are you content to to be a transplant and live
there full time with your with your boyfriend? Yeah, I'd
love to be transplanted into that country, so stick me there.
I do love the UK of it. We love it too.
I'm gonna be uh yeah, I'm gonna be transplanting there myself.

(57:05):
Wait what Yeah, you're gonna love them the UK. Well,
for part I'm I'm I'm dating a British woman and
part time I will be I'm spending I'm sure a
percentage of my life there. Don't get upset. I'm not
moving there, Donald, I'm just saying that if if, if
I'm if one Haley can attest if one is in
a relationship with an English person, you have to You

(57:27):
have to go there sometimes, and it's a delightful place
to go. Hey, listen, they could be from a country
you don't want to visit. Haley and I are lucky
that it's a country we both love and the food's
not as bad as everyone says it is. Oh, the
food's wonderful. Can give me You can give me mushy
peas any day of the week. Oh my god, Do
I love the bangers in Mash? You like the bangers
in Mash? I don't really. I don't really eat pork,

(57:49):
so I eat the mash but not the bangers. I
don't understand why we don't have mushy peas in this
country because it's not as good. You can you can
use my pool when I'm gone. Okay, cool, Haley. I'm
gonna miss you. Haley doesn't have to hear about this.
We can negotiate that off all right. Oh it's fine.
Just make sure all my rafts stay inflated, right anyway, Haley, Haley,

(58:16):
do you have a question for us? Please? Please? I do.
I had it on a piece of paper and I
left it in the other room, but don't get it. Okay. Um,
So this is my Fruit Cups. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which
is probably my favorite episode and I don't really know why.
It's just my favorite episode. It's the one I probably
quote the most, you know, like the Daily Users who

(58:38):
walks away? Right? Um? And I love the music the
first scene whenever I used to where I worked. I
wouldn't occasionally had to take you know, a toilet paper
roll or two from work, and I'd occasionally be like,
or you steal stuff and take it back to work
or take it back home. Um, But I feel like
it's a pivotal point for all the characters, like doctor

(59:00):
Cox gets back together with Jordan j D and Turk
kind of both realized that, you know, Turk's relationship with
Carla is really solidifying in this and Elliott stands up
to her dad. So I was kind of wondering, at
what point in the series did you think that your
characters matured the most, or whether it was how you
played them or how it was written. All right, Hailey,

(59:21):
look at Donald's smug face. Does he said he say
the same thing? Yes, he No, he totally agrees with you.
He gave his thirty second summary and touched on everything
that you just said. And that's why he's got that
shit eating grin on his face. Why did they call
it a shit ing grin? You wouldn't be gritty and
you were eating shit, would you. No, I would not

(59:42):
be smiling. If I had to stick dood in my mouth.
That would be like it would be like it would
be I get it. So it's not really a shit
eating grin. It's the face you make but you're like,
oh god, growth and it looks like a smile, but
really what it is, Joe, Joel, are you looking around
up for us? You need to know the origin of
shit eating grin? What though? Anyway? Anyway? Um so Donald,

(01:00:05):
your best to answer that because you you you've already
spoken about this price. I think this is the episode
where now when we were filming it, No, I did
not realize this because none of us knew where the
show was going to go at this point. But you're
absolutely right. Every story that's told in this in this
episode goes to the end. Yeah, each and every one

(01:00:27):
of these stories. Elliot standing up to her dad, this
becomes her on her own and having to make decisions
on her own, and we see how crazy life is
for her when she has to do that, right, She's
a hectic person. Jude, Carla, and Turk go on to
get married and have kids. Cox and Jordan gone to

(01:00:50):
have more children every one of these and Jad's in
limbo for the rest of the season up until the
last Forever in Limbo that could be the name of
the show. Forever in Limbo j season up until season eight,
you are forever in Limbo. You are the dude who
has no idea. We don't know where you're gonna go.
But at this point, if you were to look back

(01:01:12):
after doing the whole show, this would be the episode
My Fruit Cups where you're like, this is where they
gave us a taste of what was to come. Yeah. Yeah,
I didn't see that, to be honest, I was just
kind of in more of a micro viewing of it,
laughing at the jokes. There was some. There's some one
like you keep saying the bidet bidet to you, sir,
the mention of bidjingo. There's some. There's a few classic

(01:01:34):
sort of moments in here. Um Laverne in the beginning
when she's like, you look pretty right, jes the pills
and right. It's the first appearance of the Volvo. I
believe Donald, do you know that? Don't don't ruin it, Hailey,

(01:01:55):
because you probably know Donald. Do you know the name
of the brown Volvo? No Malik. We named the Vobo
malik ya. I named my Vobo Malik. Yeah wow, And
then you named it might be my Vovo. I don't
know why did you name your brown Bobo Malik, though

(01:02:16):
I have a feeling. I have a feeling. Yeah, I
think Turt named the car because I definitely, I definitely
named my scooter Sasha. Yeah. Sure, sure you know, remember
I U I post a picture of me on on
anything two wheels, people were like, is that new Sasha?
I like, post a picture of my motorcycle, and I'm like, oh,

(01:02:37):
Sasha got an upgrade. There was that time that you
brought me that scooter and it was gray. He didn't
even wear it, didn't even drive it once. I did
drive it around you Nay, what are you talking about? Oh?
You named it Sasha Gray. Yeah. Well, let's tell the

(01:02:59):
audience the true story of this, because it really it
was hurtful to me. No, I had to here's the thing,
don't do. I'm gonna be one hundred percent on it.
So for my birthday, Zach buys me a scooter, a
great scooter named I named her Sasha Gray. Sure, sure, sure,

(01:03:21):
let's keep Let's keep a Haley innocent of any absolute knowledge, right.
And the problem with it was, though, is that you
had to have a motorcycle license to drive it. It
wasn't one of those things where you could just it
wasn't a scooter that was uh slow enough that you
could ride around on it and not have to have

(01:03:41):
a license. So if I would have got pulled over,
they automatically would have been like, let me see your license.
I'd be like, I don't have a license, and then
they confiscate Sasha Gray and then I'd never see her again.
All right now, from my point of view, Haley, imagine
you're my really good friend and it's a big birthday.
I think it was a meaningful, important birthday, and I
was like, I want to do something than like baller
for you. I'm gonna, like, I know what I'm gonna do.

(01:04:03):
I'm gonna ring your doorbell, Haley, and when you come outside,
there's gonna be a brand new, beautiful, expensive, shiny scooter
there for you. Yeah. It was one of the best
birthday presents ever. And then and then and then for
years and years and years, I'd be like, do you
ever use the good And he'd be like, oh, my
motorcycle license, my motor and I'd be like, oh, okay,

(01:04:24):
well you're gonna get that, right, you can get that.
Just go go take the test real quick, you and
he'd be like, oh, yeah, yeah, the Batteri's dead now,
I know. Yeah, there was always a reason. There was
always a real scooter around my neighborhood quite a few times. Bullshit, Haley,
you know what? I finally did you want gonna go
get Casey? I reclaimed that shit, Haley. I was like,
taking that ship was straight up out of a Jay

(01:04:45):
Z song. Yeah. I rolled up, I rolled up and
took it back. At a protest, they repolled a vehicle.
Everything was all good just a week ago. That's what
you did, you the vehicle. I took Sasha Gray away
from you. You did, and it hurt my feelings. Yeah,
I understand. Um. Anyway, Sorry we had to air that

(01:05:06):
in front of you, Hailey. Do you have another question
for Donald Phazon or I guess um, I have a
funny story that relates to Zach what you were talking
about a few episodes ago with the Temple of Doom. Yeah,
I have a funny I can ask my question or
I can relate another silly story story story and if

(01:05:27):
it's and if it's not funny, we'll let you. You
can edit it out. We edited out everything no one. Um. So,
when I was maybe about eight nine ten m I
noticed that were you eight nine or ten in between there?
I don't really remember you were. I was an adolescent, right,
but I had noticed that there was something kind of

(01:05:47):
growing on my throat area, and I went up to
my dad, who's a doctor, and I was like, Dad, look,
I have an Adam's apple. Because I was a child,
I didn't know that was not a girl thing to have, right, Well,
that's not normal. So we went to go get it
checked out and I had to get something removed that
was growing on my vocal cords and it was as
a child, surgery is kind of scary. So after we

(01:06:10):
had done the surgery and I was staying overnight, UM,
my dad was like, oh, we have some movies that
are at the hospital. Here, we'll watch this one. And
it was Indiana Jones Temple of Do And right when
it gets to the part, you know, and he's ripping
out the heart, I just immediately started bawling. Yea and
at d Yeah, that's why exactly. My mom came the

(01:06:31):
next day. He's like, yeah, she had this really bad
reaction to the movie. And she's like, well, of course,
she did. They were picking out somebody's heart. Yeah, and
I don't think. I watched it for at least another
ten years, and then I watched it again and I
was like, this isn't that bad. But Haley, but Haley,
Haley and I were scarred by this film. Our our

(01:06:52):
parents made bad choices. How can you be upset at
that movie? I had a whole birthday alved around Indiana
Jones later, not Temple of Doom, the first one. Mainly
Raid is in a low stark is just as scary
when they opened the Ark of the Covenant and it
makes the dude's face mount. No, I had no problem
with that. There was something about there was something about

(01:07:14):
there was a man that screams like a black curdling scream.
He's like, screams like that. I backed up from the mic.
You're welcome, You're welcome. You're welcome America, America, UK, Germany, Italy, Australia.
But you listen, Australia, You're welcome. Another one, another one, listen.

(01:07:36):
A lot of people are asking. I don't mean to
cut you up, but a lot of people are asking me,
and this is I feel we need to explain this.
We didn't make up another one. Oh yeah, I didn't.
I just thought everyone would know the pop culture thing
of it. No, DJ college, Yes, DJ Khalid college. College
isn't it college? Depending? You know, some people say college,

(01:07:59):
some people say Dan, you're a DJ. What is it? Well,
there's there's Khalid, the artist who made talk Um, and
then I thought it was DJ Khaled with it more
like yeah, yeah, okay, Kal DJ Khaled when he drops
his latest tracks, he will in the spirit of Puffy
back in the day, going ahead or can't stop, won't stop? Yeah,

(01:08:22):
his his thing is another one, like here's another hit
song for you guys. He has another one. There's that,
and then there's major key, and then there's We're the best.
Major key means what if the song isn't a major key.
I don't know what major key is. That's a question
to ask scrubs Wicky. Now we're gonna go to no.

(01:08:42):
Now we're gonna go to no. Imagine yet imagine we
have we have, we have asked DJ Khalid, and now
we're gonna gonna ask DJ Khaled. Um by major key?
Another one, Um, Joel, did you ever find out what
shitting Grin was about? Yeah? There's a couple of stories
you want to hear. Yeah, please, sure, Okay. Um So,

(01:09:04):
my favorite one comes from RB Smith. He's from the
UCSD Astrophysics program, and this is off with the San
Diego reader dot com. He says the original form of
this phrase was grinning like a possum eating shit, which
was occasionally euphemized to grinning like a possum eating pumpkin seeds.
To those are that's fortunate enough to have observed this
teeth together, lips apart, smile on the face of the

(01:09:26):
aforementioned marsupial munching on the aforementioned sectological delicacy, he's smart.
The expression counters up a very explicit and not infrequently
very apropro image, So that's part of it. Did he
say scatological delicacy? Yes, those are not two words I've
ever heard together. It was not fun to say that
sitting on my van. I. Um so, so it's a

(01:09:50):
referring to an animal who's eating shit and has a
big smile on his face because the animal likes eating shit.
But it's not really shit, it's actually pumpkin. No, no, no, no,
that's like a clean version. Yeah, when if you're saying
it in front of a kid, You're like, Oh, he's
like he's eating pumpkin. Look at that pumpkin seed eating
grin on his face. Yeah, I'm gonna start saying pumpkin
seeding grin instead of shit eating grin. Um, Haley, UM,

(01:10:14):
we like you so much. We're gonna end with one
more question from you. All right? Um? If so, I
don't know if you guys remember, because I know you
guys have been saying that you don't remember um some
of the episodes. But if there was one line that
another character had that you wish you could have had
to say, what do you remember? Which one? It was?
Good question? M m hm m m m m m no.

(01:10:44):
I like in your endough, that's I say that a
lot as well. I say that a lot. I think
i'd take um. Sometimes when I'm banging this mattress, I
I pretend I'm banging that one. You're something, Todd said.
The Todd says, um. I also like Niel's line, My
the good Lord didn't bless my wife with another pointer

(01:11:09):
pointer in thumb pinky French nine French is very popular. Yeah,
you know, for you know, uh, I want to be
the one inside of you. I thought that was very
funny too, but I said that you said that, so
you didn't really answer. You're the only man who's ever
been inside of me. Whoa, I just took out his appendix.

(01:11:33):
There's no mean to clarify. Oh no, okay, s M. Hayley.
Thank you so much for coming on. Good luck getting
to be with your your fella in the in the
United Kingdom. Perhaps perhaps I'll see you over there after
we've both the quarantined, and more likely you won't. This

(01:11:54):
is called pleasantries. Donald. I will wave to you. I
will keep the train. It's not a train, it's called
the tube. There are trains. The Tube is only in London. Yeah, Donald,
don't listen, don't. I'm in Newcastle, so I'm in like
the north North of London. Oh it's wee ritzy. No,

(01:12:16):
it's not ritzy. London is London is the hood if
you ask me, Yo, tonight on Donald talks about different
neighborhoods of London. All right, bye, Hailey, thank you so much,
thank you so much, Thank you guys. I saw Lisa
Marie Pressley in London really yeah, like at a show.

(01:12:39):
She did a show. It was like my Buddy was like, Lisa,
Marie Pressley is performing, you don't. First of one, I'm
glad we're all finally alone now because I feel like
we had to be great for Heather, and then we
had to host Hayley, who was delightful. But sometimes you
just want to just curl up on the couch with
your friends and and just shoot shit. You know, no,

(01:13:01):
I totally agree. Yeah, so let's just let's relax. I'm
gonna top up my pants and just I'm gonna kick
my shoes off. Let's pack a bowl and let's just
fucking relax now. No more house guests, no more visitors. Okay,
just us get let's get feedle on the couch and
watch alone. Um now, Donald Show, ladies and gentle. No, no, no, no,

(01:13:28):
it's not We got more to do, don't. So Krystal
wants back on the Christa Miller's back looking gorgeous and
pregnant and pregnant. Is that William in her belly? That
must be will in her belly? Yes, that's amazing what
I told Casey that she was like, holy cow, it
was this was that long ago? Because William is a

(01:13:49):
what is he a senior in high school. Now, yes
he must and he dunked. He can dunk, and he
plays basketball and he got the game. Yeah, you guys
are seeing him in this episode in utero and now
he dunks. If you want to see him do it,
you can go to Bill Lawrence's Yeah, Bill Lawrence on him.
On Bill Lawrence's Vduzer Vduzer's Instagram, you can see his

(01:14:11):
his son dunk. How about a ten thirteen when I
go I told you you smoked the angel, Yeah, that
was improved. That wasn't something really that was improved. I
remember it was something else originally, and uh, that was funny. Yeah.
I remember laughing so hard when you said that too,
And I remember thinking that'll never make this epis that'll
never make the ship because we weren't allowed to talk

(01:14:31):
about weed back then. It was so scandalous. Now, I
want to know something you're your I read on Scrubs
Wiki that your Brady Bunch trivia here is wrong. Um,
I don't know not about Listen. I don't know nothing
about the Brady Bunch in the first place, so I don't. Okay, Well,
Turk Turk is quite wrong here, and I'll tell you why.
I can't back it up though, because I don't know

(01:14:52):
shit about the Brady Bunch. I'm just telling you so
you know, if it ever comes up again in your life.
When Turk tries to prove his knowledge of the Brady
Bunch by describing a exactly which episode JD is referring to,
he's incorrect. He claims the episode quote Marcia gets creamed,
and quote was in By the way, you could never
name a show that today was in seasons was in

(01:15:14):
season five, episode three, while it was actually episode seven
that season. So somebody fucked up. We can blame who
wrote this. Janee, you fucked up, okay, and you're Northwestern grad.
I expected more from you. I really got a hand
it to Christopher in this episode, you know, making fun
of herself and you know, making fun of the fact

(01:15:37):
that she's pregnant and being so vulnerable. She did such
a great job, and the scene in the bathroom where
she's crying, you know, and I felt very raw and real.
Yeah it did, you know. And I remember when my
wife was pregnant and there were days where she didn't
necessarily feel like, you know, she was the sexiest person

(01:15:58):
on the planet, and I remember just thinking, Wow, she's
so beautiful. She's so beautiful, and I feel like that's
what Cox was going through in this episode, you know,
regardless of him dating how the Lockeleyest character and everything
like that. There's something special about when you see somebody
who you love and they're carrying your baby inside of them,

(01:16:21):
that you just think that the most beautiful human on
the planet. Like I just I just remember looking at
Casey and being like, holy shit, she's so beautiful. And
she and she'd be like, I got three chins, and
I'd be like, I don't give a shit, you could
have twenty chin. You looked so beautiful. I love all
three of them, right, you know what I mean? Well,
I bet you know christ is a really good actress.

(01:16:42):
But I also bet that you know she was legit pregnant,
and I'm sure that she could call upon those feelings
when she's sitting on the bathroom floor feeling, you know,
undesired by by doctor Cox. I thought that was a
really nice scene between the two of them. Yeah, and
it was a good fake out too. Yeah, that was
clever how they had to do that. So Johnny c
grabs two things whiskey. Heather's on the couch by the

(01:17:05):
time he comes around, it's been changed to Krista and
she's like, you know, I can't drink that, right. He's like, yeah,
they're both for me. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Now,
this we've we've said it a couple of times, but
this is one of the greatest lines in Scrub's history.
In this episode thirteen o nine, I have one of
those French things that shoots water up my butt. But
day the day to use her whoever? I said, but

(01:17:30):
Day that was very clever. Heather has a line that's
funny when she disses Kristen. She says, anywhere anybody looks,
they'll see you. That was fucked up. And how about
when I scare you in the ambulance and you scream?
That was funny. Yeah, and yeah, I was gonna say, dude,

(01:17:50):
such a good scene. Man. That's one of those moments.
You know, you we've worked together for a really long time,
and you have and and I've seen I feel I've
seen most of your tricks. You've developed some new tricks
that I haven't seen in the last ten years because
you've gone on to work on other things and everything
like that. But this is one of those. But this

(01:18:10):
is one of the first times where we had done
a season of of Scrubs together already, and I hadn't
seen you play this this this side before where it
was like you were you were thinking, you you're really
thinking about it in the scene and it disturbs you,

(01:18:32):
but it doesn't disturb you to where you're like kind
of fucked up about it. But it's just like, holy shit,
life's changing for us. And I had never seen you
played that before. And I remember watching this because I
watched it like two two hours ago and thinking, if
I remember correctly, I remember Zach not knowing how he
wanted to play this scene, and we worked on this

(01:18:53):
side on his side for a bit, and this is
what he came up with, and it works so well, dude,
it works. It's like it's it's one of those moments
where you know you're in awe of the moment as
an actor, but you're also you want to keep it grounded,
like so she said, she said, you said we no,

(01:19:14):
she said we you know what I mean. And that
could have been played so many other ways, it could
have been underplayed, but you played it very thoughtfully, and
I thought that was so amazing. Thank you. Thank you
for saying that. I you know, it's on this show,
it was always you and I so easily went into
the silly stuff, right um, because that that's just that's
who we are and that came naturally to us. But

(01:19:35):
then there's always these great moments in the scene is
one of them where we have the sort of heart
to heart where we would have to shift our brains
a bit and be like no, no, no, uh, go
out of broad silliness and like drop in and be
just totally real and straight with one another. And I
think that's one of the things that made this show
special to a lot of people because because it had

(01:19:55):
it had the ability to do that, it had the
ability to drop in and be real. Yeah, you know,
and and and and that's I mean, yeah, obviously that's
the reason why we ran for so long. But that's
such a special thing man to to for me now,
to go back and look at the things that we
did in our past and the things that you know,
it's a lot like what this episode is about, you know,

(01:20:20):
just to look at, you know, moments that we had
back in the day and really appreciating them. You know,
I miss the camaraderie that we had. I don't think
i'll ever in my life experience what we experienced when
we were making this show again. And you know, you
search for it and you try to create it with

(01:20:42):
other people, and sometimes you even fake it. But you know,
we were also young, but we were also young. And
I mean, first of all, yeah, of course nine year
runs on a show with great people, It's not something
that happens multiple times in a lifetime necessarily, But also
we were young and so wide eyed and um excited

(01:21:02):
and really savoring it. I think. And now you know,
you have a family, you know, we all have grown up,
We've got other things going on. I didn't even know
that we would. I don't even know if it's recreatable
in a in a new environment, you know what I mean? Yeah,
I I I can't imagine myself like I can't imagine
myself spending the amount of time that we've spent together

(01:21:23):
with someone else now, you know, other than my wife.
And the hours too, man, I also don't want to
work that hard. I don't mind working those hours when
I when I love I love working. I love working.
But when I look at this show and how much
how we were, we were just non existent well, you
worked a lot about there were times where you just
didn't do but I just didn't leave there. There were

(01:21:44):
times where I thought about sleeping in that fucking hospital. Yeah, no,
not me, but I never did. Um Listen. The rooftop
that ends this show, wasn't it Downtown La? I don't know.
I would like to believe that it was. It could
have been Joe, No, it wasn't it was. It could
have fancy rooftop, and I believe it. We went down

(01:22:04):
Town LA for it and then but scrubs Wiki is
saying that it was at UCLA, and I think it
might be wrong, and they're saying it's the roof of
kind of give this and we kinda give this to
freaking funcos Man. No, listen, he deserves funcos for the
services he's already performed. They've given us false. False. It's false, though, man,
that definitely where at UCLA? Was that? He says? Well,

(01:22:26):
Wiki or it's not just him, him and his thousand
minions say couple commons, but that would be Westwood and
that's not Westwood. In the end of the show, right, Dan,
you want to ask Bill do you think Bill would
remember remember? Let's ask djal dj Khaled at the end
of this episode, Um, what what building are we on?

(01:22:50):
I believe it was Downtown. Some are saying it's a
UCLA property, which is Westwood. What are your thoughts on this,
Zach May your key? I got nothing. I don't. I really,
honestly don't even have a DJ Khalid impersonation in my repertoire.
If you watch Scrubs on Hulu, they play a DJ

(01:23:10):
Khaled commercial about him brush somebody brushing their teeth, and
DJ Khaled's like circular motions. Do another one? What if
I another one? What if I do DJ Khaled? But
as a as a as an impersonation that I'm good at.
So you just have to use the audience. We'll just
have to pretend this is how he talks ahead, he

(01:23:35):
talks like Aaron Neville. Another I don't remember where you
got shot that scene, but I don't think it was
You'll see. I'm it was Downtown LLA. That's how DJ
Kaled talks in my mind. Oh right now, did Aaron

(01:24:03):
Neville die? I don't know, but he's rolling over it
right right? Why is he rolling over his grave? He's alive? Well,
that's something. Charles Barkley says, oh um dj kal it
is Aaron Neville dead. No, he's very much a laugh.

(01:24:23):
We should show great show listeners. We love you. Why
is the janitor stealing a computer? He goes the whole
the whole episode. He's trying to figure out who's stealing
all of these think I think the reveal is that
he's the one stealing everything out of the hospital. Right. Well, no,
he didn't steal the drugs and he definitely didn't steal
the pudding pops because we did the pudding because we

(01:24:44):
did right. Hey, guys, we had a great time with
you today. Yes, sorry um um for anything that went.
We want to thank Heather Locklear for being on the show.
I want to thank Joel and Daniel Danel. You guys
are amazing. Thank you listeners all around the world for uh,
for for tuning in and for having a giggle with
us and uh and we hope that this this, this

(01:25:07):
this audio file finds you smiling. But day the day
to you love bib six seven day stories about Shore
we made about a bunch of doctor nurses and a
Jannita who loved me. Here I said, here's the stories.
Never you all should know. So gata around you. Here

(01:25:30):
are gato around you, Here are set for you shows.
M hmm.

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Zach Braff

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