404: My First Kill

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Daniel, will get your present. Sorry, did you get your present?
We sent you a present, Daniel, did you get it? No,
we didn't send you a present. I sent you a present.
We did, we did it. Yeah, though we were sending
it all for you. You're an interloper. Well your door?

(00:23):
Did you get your set up yet? Zach? No, I don't.
I have to buy this piece of hardware that I
went on Amazon. It's not going to be for better
or for worse. It's not going to be here for
a minute. So you have some time to decide. You
have some time to decide if this is a bad
idea or not. Well, Danil showed me what I need.
I need this pad, this sample pad thing, and I

(00:44):
found one on Amazon, and the one that we both
said was perfect. You know, it wasn't coming right away.
It's like going to be like, you know, a couple
of weeks. Oh, a couple of weeks. Okay, it's funny
in two thousand and twenty one, and like you buy
something and they're like a couple weeks, why isn't it here?
Like prime, like the next day, why isn't here right now? Yeah,

(01:06):
so you have a couple of weeks to decide if
it was a horrible idea to get to turn your
key for that when they say when they say a
couple of weeks, you're like, I'm not pretty ordering this ship.
It should be here tomorrow. I know you're like a
couple of a mistake, right? Did I put it in wrong? Standard?
This thing on your explore tab on Instagram where women

(01:29):
aren't doing I don't know the song, but it's I
can this is the part I know, small waist, pretty
faced with a big bank. I know exactly what you're
talking about. Okay, listen, It's all of our Instagram and
I'm not on TikTok, so I imagine this is the
TikTok thing. And I imagine so you know, on TikTok
these folks do a dance, do dances right, and then

(01:53):
now it's coming onto the Instagram explore tab. I think
that people are just just copying these are putting them on,
or maybe the people who do the dance or doing it.
But this particular dance is we like it? Well, I'm
I have feelings about it because sometimes I mean like
you and I both don't mind it A nice tush
and the song seems to feature women bouncing their booties. Yes,

(02:16):
have you seen the silhouette challenge too? No? What's the
silhouette challenge? Oh, it's great. What's the song that they're
using for the silhouette challenge? It's like, it's like a
clover tower head on My show? And then so what
are they doing with the silhouette? So it starts off dude,

(02:40):
damn booty bo boo writing a girl standing there in
like some baggy outfit or something that's not revealing. She's
gonna transform. Then goes put your head on My show.
And when it goes to show like this, bass kicks
in and it turns real like modern and now the

(03:02):
clothes are off and the room turns red and it's
just a silhouette of the body. And some of them
were dope, some of them are really really funny. Some
of them want to do it. Someone don't get rid,
Like Tiffany Hattish got the best one, I think out
of all of them, with her in common where she's doing,
she does the whole thing, and then she shows her

(03:24):
curves and then Common comes in and then it gets
a little you know, Bridgerton on your Real quick you
know what I mean, Like steamy like that, and then
and she has on a wig during the whole thing,
and then she pulls it off and she's bald, and
then it pauses for a second. But I don't think
I wouldn't mind. Shoot Tiffany find it in the motherfucking dog. Well,

(03:46):
I gotta tell you, I this thing, this song is
in my head now and I'm found myself walking around
singing small ways pretty fast with a big bank. And
I had to google the big bank. I mean, I
get it from the video, but again, a big tush. Indeed,
what's the video that you're talking about? Well, all these
when you say, when you say big bank, you said

(04:08):
you get it from the video, but they're talking about
a big tush. Well, when they do their dance, there's
a choreography to it. I'll do it for you. Yeah,
I can't wait. You go like this, you go, you go,
you pull up your shirt and you go, small waist,
pretty face with a big bank, and then you then
you bounce it. Nailed it. I'm sorry you don't get

(04:35):
to see that, but it's glorious. I don't have enough.
I don't have enough bank. I guess I don't know. Well, no,
it bounced a little bit. Yeah, there was some change
in there with you got some change in the bank.
I was walking around my yard today, like turning it
into like an opera. It's like small face pretty with
a big bag. But the people that are doing it seriously,

(04:59):
I feel bad for them, Like, I mean, it's one
thing to spoof it and like be stupid about it.
But don't you think it's I don't know, there's people
doing it like showing off their I'm not. I guess
that's I guess it's the point. I guess it's the
point of your attention. If you get your attention by
showing you a big bank and you take it seriously,
good for you. Man. The girls all seem to do

(05:19):
a laugh like, oh, isn't this so silly that I
did this? You know I didn't add that to mine.
Let me add that long. Okay, you gotta part of
the thing is that you do a giggle, like I'm
not taking this seriously. This isn't so weird that we're
all doing I read small ways pretty safe, I added,

(05:40):
you guys didn't see if I added the laugh. I
can't believe I'm doing this. Oh, I've reached that please
never apologize. I've reached the level of quarantine where I'm
fucking doing TikTok videos from myself. Good good, Express yourself

(06:04):
with us, express yourself. Hey, hey, hey, let's get into
the show man, let's just get into the show. Is
there's your baby? Count us in. Welcome fans. We love you,
We're here for you. We're here to tell you some
funny stories. Donald count us in to America's favorite theme song.
Wait before we do that, channel Joe will Yeah, Hi, Hi, great,

(06:25):
it's going Yeah, we're great. It's going very well. Right on,
right on six seven, eight. Stories about show we made,
about a bunch of docs and nurses. Stories. Gather around here,

(06:48):
get around here. Happy Friday, Happy Friday to you, Happy Friday.
You know, no la restaurants outside. I've been realp And
how do we feel do we feel brave enough to
try to know? Not yet? I'm not eat because the idea,

(07:10):
the idea of going and sitting outside, if the tables
were spaced apart, is so enticing, isn't it to like
a little smidgeon of normalcy? I did it once at
the top of quarantine last year, and it was It
creaked me out. Like at first, I was like, oh
my gosh, just like back to regular, Like we were
maybe two months in and I was like, yeah, I'll

(07:30):
just like go with some friends. It's very spacious they
had and they were like really respecting all of the rules,
like it's like eight feet away, but then everybody has
their mass off and you has to know we're outside,
but still we know that. It hangs in the air
for like a full sixteen minutes and it's like it
and then the waiters are coming up and I feel
so bad. They're like shielded and masked and they're interacting

(07:53):
with all these people and they're touching cash, and I'm like,
this is not good. Like this, there's too many warning
signs every couple of minutes. It really freaked me out. Well,
there's a restaurant that Donald and I. There's that where
they have an outside. I'm not going to reveal it
because I don't want people blow up our spot. But
they do it in a very safe way. All the
tables are spaced, the waiters are in shield. You don't

(08:13):
you do a queue what do you call a q
R code for the menu? You don't you don't touch anything.
There's no cash it's credit cards only. Okay, I don't know.
I'm just I'm just sad. I'm probably not gonna do it,
but I got to be a second. It'll be It'll
be a second. I will say this, Joe, I don't
know about outside. If it hangs in the air like that,
I think breeze and things like that, and particles drop

(08:33):
when outside, I think when it's well, this is we
know that outside is one step better than inside, know
better than inside. So I don't want to put I
don't want to scare anybody. Because when you said that,
I was like, wait a second, sixteen minutes in the
air outside, how does that possible? It kind of freaked
me out a little bit, So I say, I mean
to freak you out. Donald's not even gonna go outside?
Well you should. You should definitely feel people much r

(08:57):
than I say. It's it's good outside, just wear your
mask and it's fine. But you can't keep your mask
on if you're eating. Well. Now, even they're saying, even out,
they're saying, as long as you maintain say, pretend like
everybody has it right, and pretend like you have it obviously,
and so keep your keep your mask on. But if
you maintain, if you maintain the social distancing, it's okay

(09:19):
to run around with you know, exercise without your mask on,
you know, in areas where people are as long as
you're maintaining your space. It has to it has to be.
The distance has to be there. Do you spend today, Donald,
I did not spend today interesting today. I thought we
were doing this a peloton down with each other and

(09:39):
you look great. I'm lost. Wait, I don't know if
you notice a little bit let me. I know, I
know you saw it in the video when I did
my big bank, but yeah, I've lost ten pounds, Zach, goody, congratulations,
thank you very much. I'm excited about it. I'm happy
for you. My brother, I am doing it too. I
have an new guy used today. They all every pelotonic

(10:02):
structor has a different catchphrase, and his is he goes
if you feel if forgetting what it is? His name yo,
he's an Asian British guy and he's really fun and oh,
he goes if he feels good and you know you should,
let's turn it up three more points. All right, if
it feels good and you know you should, let's turn

(10:24):
it up five more points. Oh, my gosh, not turning
the British accent justice. My girlfriend would be cringing. But
I suck at a British accent like I can only
do like the whiney guy from Freaking Harry Potter or
Monty Python We're going on the walk allis. I'm not

(10:44):
good at it either. Every time I do it, my
my girlfriend and her family are like, oh Jesus, that bad.
You know what we should do whenever anybody from the
the Great Britain area does American accent, we should act
like it sucks even though it's really good. We should

(11:05):
be like, problem is, problem is they they're they're often
very good at I mean, flow is flawless. Out of it.
Act like act like she sucks, pretend she sucks. Just lie,
fuck it, fuck it. Lie what she goes she doesn't know.
She doesn't really know because she goes on sets and
people are like, wow, well there. You could be like,
they've been lying to you. They've been lying. There lying,

(11:25):
they've been lying, They've been lying. She doesn't really know.
At the end of the day, she could be like,
am I saying it right? You could cast doubt because
it's not her native tongue. It's not that British. British
people are better at doing American accents, although if you're
not a professional, like an actor. My experience is that
a lot of times they sound they revert to like
the valley girl thing. They go, oh my god, you

(11:47):
guys like that's their default, right, because that's what they think.
Americans all sound like, oh my god, you go like,
I'm gonna keep it one hundred. I have yet to
hear a British dude sound exactly like they're from Brooklyn
or something like that. I've yet to hear that. I've
yet to hear that I've seen. I've seen British dudes

(12:09):
uh come across as tough and uh as American hoods do,
but I've yet to see them come across with the
you know where. I was like, damn, that dude, he's
where is he from? He's from where? That's that's like
from Brooklyn, that's like from Manhattan, or that's like from Uptown,
or that's like from the brook I can't find. I

(12:32):
can't find one. I can't find Because most people that
play these characters are people from California or something like that.
It's rare that you have people that there are a
few people. There are a few, but it's rare that
you have them actually playing Brooklyn Nights, or people from Manhattan,
or people from the tri State or from New York
or something like that playing these characters. Usually somebody from Chicago.

(12:54):
I was just going to add that I'm tempted to
agree with Donald in the sense that, like, uh, it's
tough to do American dialects. I think there's a lot
of you know, British actors and people from different countries
who do a very standard American engineer Well totally get
it off. And the only person that I was going
to throw out there I think does a particular dialect
well is Dominic West in the wire, his his very
his Baltimore is what about sorry that I forgot the

(13:17):
name of that amazing African Americana. He does it pretty
good sounds. Look, he Alba is dope and he's you
know what I mean, he still has his little British
things in him when he's when he's acting dude, but
he's the five don't get it twisted. I think interest
is the man. I mean, like, I think he could
do don't don't all of a sudden turn me into
a Haita and stuff like that. But here's a perfect

(13:39):
examp you know who sounded like it and he's not
from there? Was would would you know? I would believe
would more than I would believe An. Yet he's out
the cast because he actually has a genuine connection to
that type of urban American uh urban light. So you
want to talk about accents, yes, I agree with you.

(14:01):
British people do great American accents, but when you go specific,
I don't know about all that just yet. I've yet
to see it. Sir. Sharonin is pretty amazing too. I'm
always surprised when I see her speak with her natural
Irish brogue. Is that what you call it? Ye? Well yeah, Donald,

(14:22):
should we get into this, baby girl? Yeah, let's do this,
Hey yo, Daniel, funny episode, no doubt, Daniel, I feel
like this beat, it might be a little uh whoa,
I feel like this one. I feel like this beat
might be a little Adam's family ish. You'll understand what

(14:43):
I'm saying. When we're done, you're ready, you want him
to change? Hold on, you want to chant the beat?
Here we go, and if you don't need to stop watch,
but the last beat was fuego. They're always pretty thank
you are ready? And hey yo, Carla lose his rowdy,
Janet have a squirrel army Turk, streams of coming true
and Elliott fights with Molly Jake Deep doesn't want to

(15:06):
hurt nobody that Todd has superhery. He enters and it's comedy.
The talk side is so powerful and useful. If you're fearing,
beer can save Like that's crazy, right, Like what you're
hearing Big Doctor's real friends, DJ, Danielle Joel, Monique dB.
That's the recap under a subploster. Turn your key, who

(15:30):
here we go? Incredible, He's got your Hamilton bag dy. Dude,
that's the best one you've ever done. I look like,
look I got goosebumps. That's the best one you've ever done.
And you hit thirty two seconds. My god, damn not
even thirty. I was trying to get thirty dude, what
was I have so many amazing What led you to
take it so much? Manjana fire in my day so much, Rawana,

(15:58):
It's fine in my day today. O. Wait, so you're
crediting Ganja for that, because I would have. I was
sitting in my house watching my kids and I was bored. Okay,
so they were doing their zoom and I was like,
I'm gonna write this down so like a rap song.

(16:19):
It was a combina. But but but you always are
high when you write these, and this one was particularly great.
I don't know what happened. Something got into me today.
I feel like, ODB, something got in down. You gotta
you gotta make sure the beat is worthy of that
I was. I was just going to say a little
peak behind the curtain. All the beats that I've played
you are like you know, beats that I've made over

(16:40):
the past, like four or five years whatever that I
was pulled from the bank and just like you know,
little bits here and there, this is gonna be Oh
you might do any you were an original, Well they've
all been original. Might do one just pletely fresh? This
is this is this, this will be this will be intended. Damn,
this is gonna be a there's gonna be a brand

(17:01):
new one for you. Well, let's see, it's the fans
like it. Maybe well every once love it. They're gonna
love it. What I'm a fan of yours and I
love it. So I don't know why anyone wouldn't that
was really good. This episode is very funny. I laughed
a lot. Did we meet Stephen for the first time.
This is the episode where Stephen comes into our family

(17:22):
where I was I was so confused because I thought
he came in a different way. I had no idea
that the janitor was spoiler alert, I didn't had no
idea that the janitor actually named Stephen and found Stephen.
I had no idea. It becomes sort of attached to Stephen.
He really doesn't want Carla to take him, and he
he sort of laments that he he's not going to

(17:44):
be able to take him to the park. He really
bonded the janitor. Now, this is one of the more surreal.
This is one of those things where Bill, you know,
we joke about how Bill probably should have put it
in a fantasy but chose to put it in the
real world. And that is that the nitor captures squirrels,
kills them, taxidermis them, and collects them and has made

(18:07):
a squirrel army. Not only that he's he's holding committee.
He's holding meetings like a committee. Yes, yes, and he's
obviously schizophrenic or some condition because he believes that they're
all talking back to him and says, like, Gregory, do
you mind if I lead the meeting? Right? Yeah? And
he doesn't discriminate on names either, like there's Leroy, there's

(18:29):
there's a bunch of different names. It's so bizarre but
funny that the janitor has a squirrel army. I remember,
I remember them, the prop guys, trying to collect enough
taxidermy squirrels. You can tell that it's like sort of
a bad comp of copy and pasting more into the shot.
But I don't think he really I don't think they

(18:50):
certainly didn't make end or track down what looks like
fifty taxidermy squirrels. He also so to squirrel army for Stephen.
So Rowdy's lost. He feels bad. He goes searching, can't
find then takes his squirrel, puts his squirrel army up

(19:14):
so that he can get Stephen and give Stephen the
Carlos Socarlo won't get in trouble. Yeah, he does a trade.
He does a trade. Now, I understand leaving something on
your roof. We've all done it, A coffee cup, a
stack of papers. Would Carlo really accidentally Why did Carly
even put Rowdy on the roof. I don't know what

(19:35):
was going on in her day that she thought, while
I quickly get my keys, I'm gonna put Rowdy on
the roof of the car. It just doesn't make any sense.
He put him down on the ground. He's he's a dog.
She didn't well, it's clear she's clearly she doesn't see
Rowdy as a dog anymore. It's now, I just don't

(19:55):
understand donald the movements that went quickly while I do
X Y or Z, I'm going to place him on
the roof of my car. Right, You gotta kind of
bet it. Does it have a lift? You gotta you
gotta lift. There's there's extra energy where it's putting it down.
Seems like the easier. How bad was that backwards effect
of the of Rowdy falling off the car and then

(20:17):
landing perfectly in front of that kid? That was so bad?
How about Carla taking Rowdy to get washed, right and
Danny rose, Yeah, So if you're curious and you want
to and you're someone who goes back. It looks at
these after we talk about them. In the scene where
Carla is trying to get Rowdy cleaned by a groomer,

(20:38):
there's two guys behind the counter, and there's one who's
washing a dog or cleaning a dog whatever, grooming a dog,
and he's like, no, And that's Danny Rose, who was
Bill's assistant when we started. He was in all of
our first auditions with Bill. He was really really involved
in the casting and the show with Bill. He was
the one I used to bug all the time when
we before we ever went to before we went to production,

(21:00):
to the pilot. I should be like, Danny, when do
we go? Man, I need this money. Dude. I used
to call him all the time. What day are we going?
When do I shoot? Yeah? So anyway, he then, of
course over the years got promoted and got promoted. By
the end he was he was running post production for
the show. And by the way Bill texted me this
morning was so funny. He was like wanting to come on.

(21:20):
He's like, hey, when can I come back on? I
was like, I was like, dude, you can come on
whenever you want. The fans love it. We just assume
you're You're such a mugul, You're so busy. He's like,
I can come on? When can I come on? It
was the most random text. He was like fishing from
when he could be invited back on the show. I
think he loves coming on more than he would admit. Well,

(21:44):
he thinks it's his show man, it's indirectly his show
right at the end. Well, at the end of the day,
it is yours, Bill, it's your show, Bill, and I'm
glad that you love it, but he's your show. I
was like, I was like, come on, how about I
go have Tuesday? And he goes, okay, I go. He
goes try to send an interrupting bill. In the meantime,

(22:08):
I was like, if you want to send an interrupt
you know what, it would be funny if he did,
if he was on the show and then sent an
interrupting bill. Also, that's a great ideas. Next level, I
would love her. That's like inception Bill sception. He just
finished shooting. He's done ahead of the class remake. Oh nice,

(22:30):
And I believe it's stars instead of an old white guy,
a young Hispanic woman. The actress whose name I don't know,
will you look it up for me? J While she
was the I guess the on one day at a time,
she was the oldest talking about I believe she If
I'm not mistaken, she's the star of Bill's Out of

(22:51):
the Class remake Good actress Isabella Gomez. Yeah, yeah, what's
the ex now that people do joel latin X, oh
latin X, latin X or latin X huh what say? Oh? Okay,
so Latina if you're a female, Latino if you're male.

(23:12):
People were like, I fall in between those binaries. Latin
X has come about as a way of like, hey,
this describes all of our community. Everyone can fit under
this banner, all right, so they so, so people prefer
that as just saying Latina or Latino. They it's still
very hotly contested amongst the latin X community and part
of it. But I've definitely yeah, I want to be
respectful of whatever. Yeah, whenever they prefer, I feel like

(23:34):
it's it's a perfectly respectable term to use. I don't
think anyone's gonna be like no, but there still is,
like some some conversation happening. Is this where X Tina
came from? No? No, okay, so this isn't where Christina.
This is much later. But yeah, that's like X miss
you've heard of latin X, right donald or No? No,
it's my first time I've ever hear another way, I'm

(23:56):
a week off Twitter? Can I get thunderous appause for
being a week off Twitter? You miss my you missed
my big announcement yesterday, though you did. What's your big announcement?
That was five? What? Slow it down? Slow down? Daniel?
Got a PS five? Oh? Okay, that would be great
if you came out on Twitter. Daniel, I support I

(24:18):
support you, whether it's my anniversary with my girlfriends in
two weeks. Got why are you getting all the come on?
I was trying to PS five Daniel? Why are you
so quick to want to be gay? Were all a

(24:39):
little gay? Dwn? Oh? God, okay some of us a
lot o wame? You got a PS five? That's what
you're celebrating. Yes, yes, as you're coming out? But okay,
got what game did you play? What? What? What is
your most exciting game you've started playing on the has five?

(25:00):
Oh it hasn't gotten here yet. One it was? It
was I won the rally yesterday of beating the box
to the Walmart final to the final button. So you'll
be more excited by what's outside your door when we're
done with the show. Because Mark has dropped off a
signed copy of the garden. It's there right now, Vinyl,

(25:20):
it should be. He went out the game, go see
if it's there. If it's not there, then he then
he's out. It's on its way. Daniel was in his underwear.
I just want you to know he wasn't that was
his underwear, Dude, he was in boxer. He was in
boxer's just now that was what That was his under
was that not his underwear? D come to work underwear?

(25:41):
You know his job. He's not coming to work in
his underwear. Okay, stand up and expose himself and let's
let's see what happens when he walks back. That's how
people go. That's how people get ruined their careers. First
of all, First of all, wireless headphones. So I'm just
taking a second. Of all, these are called shorts by bro.

(26:02):
They look like I know where I dude by my
knee shorts? What are you talking about? They have they
have pockets. I'm not alan iverson here. I'm not like
fighting to have shorts below the knee or something. I like,
did you yeah, you know that the NBA players never
were allowed to wear those shorts below their knees, and
so as baggy as those shorts got they never went

(26:24):
below their knees. They were always at the at You
were absolutely right about that, Daniel Daniels this stuff. By
the way, I've been watching that show. I know I'm
late to it, but the last dance, I think I
might like sports. Now, Well, you like the drama. Do
you like the drama of it? Well, dramas and all seriousness.
I gotta say that documentaries is Here's how you know

(26:45):
that documentary is so well made. I have as as
well documented, I have no interest in sports. I'm fascinated
by that documentary. It is so well done and I
love it. So you know what I love. You'd like
a lot to you Watch thirty thirty no Oh has
a series of documentaries where it's like the great emotional

(27:05):
highs and loads of sports and just real, really deep guys.
And then they have short ones too, they're like eight
minutes long. I'm obsessed. You would love that. Watch the
Dennis Rodman one. You'd like that one, especially while watching
this thirty foot watching the one that you're watching right now.
Watch the Dennis Rodman one. The filmmaker who made this,
this this last dance is clearly so talented. I mean,

(27:29):
you know, I'm so well told, and then they're so good.
I'm getting goosebumps as I think about it, just the
way they like. They'll have the cold open and then
they'll be something you'll be said, and then they'll cut
to the fucking title sequence, and it's so good. It's
so dramatic, and Jordan is such an interesting I love
now I know why all they had all those memes
of Jordan's smiling looking at the eyepads and him saying,

(27:51):
and I took that ship personal. That is the truth, dude. Yeah, listen,
I wish I wish I had that button where I
could take anything anyone said and be like, oh really, well,
let me prove why I gotta tell you. Let me
prove if anyone, if you're listening and you need any
inspiration for caters being your motivators, this guy, no matter

(28:15):
what happened, would use it and go Okay, motherfucker's you
don't you doubt me or you doubt my team? You
doubt what we can do? Watch No, it's not you
doubt my team. It's definitely not you doubt my team.
It's you doubt me. Yeah, you doubt I'm Michael motherfucking Jordan, dude.
But I thought it was really But I thought I

(28:36):
just thought it was inspirational from a forget sports point
of view, just a human being that is so driven
and so competitive that he feeds off of people doubting him.
He feeds off of people saying you're done, it's over.
I just thought that was really inspiring, inspiring for for people.
You know, no matter what you do, that you can go, okay,

(28:58):
all right, watch yeah, and then do it. All right,
We're gonna go to break and when we come back,
we're gonna actually talk about things more than just rowdy.
I have this, I wrote down so much for this episode.
But wait, if you had Adams made fun of and
I'm really not okay with him, we'll talk about what
We'll be right back and we're bad. Bill would occasionally

(29:27):
take digs at us and our own physical appearance, like
the fact that this episode has a whole thing about
how I have a giant Adam's apple. Well, yeah, there's that.
But we can't stop the rowdy talk just yet. Dude,
I do want to get into that. But I gasped
out loud when Carla dropped rowdy. We gasped in the show,
I really gasped out loud. I was like, oh, like,
how dare you? Our collective gasped together? Was really funny.

(29:51):
I laughed at that. I did it with us accidentally,
like it was simultaneously I did it. Let's go to
the top. So JD wears leg warmers to the Jim.
We learned that Cox accuses him of wearing leg warmers
while he's on the on the on the ball. How
is Dug still working at this hospital? Dude? How does
he still he should be fired by now? It's so

(30:12):
funny that Cox goes, Doug has killed so many patients
that he might be a government operative. By the way,
he noticed that when Cox says, go Doug, Doug, Dug,
go go go you idiot, she doesn't have the right thing.
And he goes over there and they reveal like it's
a young girl. Like he's like, he's not just fucking
he's not just sucking up with seniors. He's sucking up

(30:33):
with like children. No, he goes to the wrong bed. No,
there's another there's two girls, just two young girls and
two beds next to each other. Wow, I mean it
was probably just you know, someone put the background person there,
but I just thought it was funny that it's a kid. Well,
he eventually gets moved to the Morgue where it's safer
for Doug to work because he knows about I don't
know when that happens, but it's coming up soon. Hanging

(30:54):
up because it has to pay off soon, because this
dude's got to get out of there. I'm wearing an
Alphabet City. I'm wearing Alphabet City T shirt. And you know,
I used to live in Alphabet City. What you know
about Alphabet City, bro, I used to live in Alphabet
City Avenue A in Seventh Street. Really. Yeah, for those
you d did you go below D well, you meant
east to east to D, and you can probably go

(31:16):
to D now, But when I lived there, you didn't
go to D. You didn't go get that D. If
you don't know what we're talking about, there's an area
of Manhattan called Alphabet City. The avenues, you know, when
they get past one, they become ABC D. And when
I graduated in Northwestern ninety seven, I moved to an
apartment one oh three Avenue A, Seventh Street and Avenue A,

(31:41):
and it was awesome. I mean it was it was
a great place to live. You lived on seventh and A. Yeah,
I lived on A and actually there was a restaurant
it's no longer there. It was called seven A. And
I couldn't even afford to eat there. They had a
breakfast that was like four bucks, and I couldn't even
afford to get the breakfast. I remember, and I remember thinking,
one day, I'm going to be able to just get

(32:03):
up this this, this three dollars breakfast whenever I want.
I mean, there's this crazy time. That's real talking man,
that's broke, broke man. Well, I just had, you know,
you know, I when I first got to college, my
parents were helping me out a little bit with with rent,
and I was paying on music videos and commercials. But
I certainly didn't have, like you know, I had. I
had buy a box of cereal money I didn't have,

(32:25):
especially when, especially when you could get a bagel and
cream cheese for like fifty cent at the deli. You
know what I mean exactly it totally. I totally get
what you're talking about, Like if I would have spend
three dollars. I remember there was a hammett. My dad
didn't want us eating pork when we were kids, right,
but they would get but they would give us like
three dollars for lunch, right, and that had to be

(32:46):
for the whole day, so I got to eat, uh,
And usually you would have your lunch tickets for school.
So I would take the three dollars and I'd go
to the arcade and play video games after school. And
three dollars at the arcade, that's a lot of video games.
But there was this ham and cheese sandwich that was
a dollar ninety nine. Dude, I remember that, thinking, dude,

(33:08):
and it was like so much ham cheese, and I
hated mayo, so I would make them just putting mustard
on it. Nice to be like, yo, it isn't funny
when you look back. When we're gonna do this show.
Are we gonna do that show, Joel where we driving
around LA and talk about our old haunts? Yeah, Donald
should be getting the car next week. We're working on
des Yeah, we're gonna be doing a show where we
where we driving around. We're gonna it'll be a special

(33:31):
episode where we all four of us getting a car
and we're gonna drive around LA and just talk about
like different things that happened to us. It's gonna be fun.
I can't. I remember I got in so much trouble
for buying that sandwich, and I remember, Sorry, I didn't
mean to jump your story. I showed my dad the sandwich.

(33:53):
He was like, what the fuck is this? I was like,
it's a ham and cheese sandwich. And he took that
ship and slammed it so hard in the trash can.
He was like, you don't ever eat pork? Why was
he so anti pork? My dad told him. When I
was a kid, my dad would tell me things like,
pork eats the skin off your veins. Don't eat that shit.
H I grew up kosher, so I didn't eat pork either. Yeah,

(34:16):
you know, Uh, that's a good question. I should ask
my dad where it came from. I know a lot
of African American families stayed away from pork, uh when
I was a youth, And I wonder, I wonder what
his reason. I should I should ask my father what
that is before. Maybe it's the Samuel Jackson reason from fiction.

(34:38):
I don't dig on swine. I just don't dig swine
right anyway. So, yeah, alphabet, if you want, if you're
if you're walking, if you're in Manhattan, go visit one
or three Avenue way and wave for me. How about
the giant siptake I take from the punch Bowl. That
was funny, very big, very big siptake, very big stake.
And then we gasped. I laughed at our gasp. And

(34:59):
then I don't listen to him. He's drunk on cheese.
Carla's being very aggressive with Rowdy. I just didn't. I
didn't like it, even this many years later, I didn't
like it. She wants her spaces. That's what's coming. It's coming. Yeah,
it's gonna be time for me. I'm gonna get kicked out.

(35:20):
It's pretty soon. You gotta get kicked out, man, it's coming.
And that's great. That's what's great about Bill and the writers.
They're building it. It's not going to be something that
comes out of nowhere. They're showing you Carla getting sick
and tired of all of this stuff. And even even
if she's all right with the kind, that's like, I
need my own space. It's got to be met Turk
because we're gonna start a family. You see it coming, man, Yeah, yeah,

(35:44):
poor poor g d Rowdy comes to life. That was
funny in the Fantasy where all of a sudden he
tackles Carla. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then I go, easy boy,
she ain't worth it. She ain't worth it. She ain't
worth it, easy boy, she ain't worth it. Hey, yo,

(36:06):
I got a question to ask. It's Heather Graham boobing
on purpose in this episode. There's a lot of cleavage.
Holy shit, it's distracting. It's like squeezes. She even squeezes
in a couple of times. I don't know. But Ken
Winningham also framed for it. There's one shot where it's
like it just comes around Heather and like her boobs
are just bouncing on the bottom of the frame. What

(36:29):
uh wow, I noticed it. She looks, she looks great. Yeah,
and that preempts. You know, you were distracted. You were distracted.
I was very distracted by it. And then when they
talk about making out and out of nowhere, Oh my god,
that's so funny. Twice the Todd runs in, he steals
the show every time. Dude, I don't know, I can't,

(36:50):
I can't. I don't know what it is, but that
makes me laugh every time. One time he runs in
and he's fresh out of the oh, he's in the
middle of surgery. No, he was in with a transplant
in they say, they make some joke about kissing each other,
and he runs in in his O. R. Uniform and
he says and they go, no Todd, and he goes
back to the transplant right. And then the next time

(37:14):
they're arguing and she says, you will make out with
me like you said we were gonna do, and out
of nowhere from the show, from the showers, they'll sut
it up. Sut it up there. I just no Todd.
Oh man, he's funny. Rob mash you, I know you listen.
You're a funny man and you're very funny. We have

(37:37):
this random thing we did on E with with Rob
that's coming out. Yes, we have a little surprise for
you listeners. I'm gonna give you the first tease. He
has the show where they get cast members together and
you sort of do some random activities and me and
Donald did it coming Soon to Eat. Do you know

(37:59):
what it's called? No, I don't. It's something like Reunion,
like road Trip or some shit like that. Road Trip
and Joel and Daniel are have have a cameo in
it as well. So you visit heaven, and I visit
heaven and I see all the people that I've been
Who's who've died under my watch? Now, I imagine there's
way more people than that that have died under my watch,

(38:20):
but I think these are four years. These are the
ones that got featured on the show, including the patient
I lost in the pilot. Is that who that was? Yeah? Interesting,
I didn't know who that was. Yeah, talking about the
old man, Well, they were all pretty senior except for
Tim Hulbert's wife. But the right but he's what he

(38:44):
had a line though, he was like, I forget his line. Yeah,
they all I think they all had a line. But anyway, Yeah,
the guy you probably didn't recognize was the guy I
lost in the pilot. Yeah, So to remind you audience,
Cox is talking to j D and j d's interns
about how you're gonna kill someone it happens, everybody kills someone.
You're gonna kill someone's gonna be your fault. And so

(39:05):
JD really gets insecure because he doesn't think he's accidentally
killed anyone. He thinks, you know, people have died, but
not not because of a mistake he's made, and so
he gets so insecurity even he doesn't even want to
do a tricky procedure because he's worried he's gonna kill someone.
And there's a funny bit of dialogue with one of
the women that's under his care, and she says, can

(39:27):
I drive my trans am? And he says that's not
up to me. It's up to the police and the
owners of those horses you killed, and she says they
were everywhere, and I go, you were on a race track,
missus Carter. Yeah, I noticed she mowed down horses on
a race track. I noticed something, and this is my

(39:49):
first time noticing it. So please don't, please don't make
fun of me, Zach. I will never make money. I
love you. I know that we're a medical comedy, yes,
but every time we come into the hospital, there's always
a medical joke. Did you notice that that's what anal
Jesuic is? All of these things are how we start off.

(40:15):
I always stought, I don't know why, but this is
how we start the show off. A lot of times
you're implying that the show often opens with a medical
related comedy. I don't know if that's okay. It happens
a lot. It goes boom boom, and then it's the
medical joke, right, bim boom ba bo and then it's

(40:36):
the medical joke, and then we go if the show
is extra long, Wow. The one that I liked the
best is boom boom. Can you imagine you're a composer
and you're like, Wow, done? What's his name? Jen? Was
that Jan finished my homework? Wow? No? I Jan did

(41:00):
a good job. I'm Jan. You're very talented. If you listen.
Those are called stings everybody in the parlance of score,
when you just need a little moment wow or making
to bow bim bill Wow. Molly tells the truth. I

(41:24):
love that she can't help Elliott has. Yeah, Elliott has
a patient who is an addict and needs a heart transplant,
and for him to get the heart transplant, his file
has to go up against the board and they have
to deem him worthy of the transplant because they don't

(41:46):
want to give it to someone who's who's still an addict, right,
and uh, you know this guy, he comes in with
this kid, and you know, everybody wants to live, and
you know when it's brought to the board, Kelso asks
Molly straight up, is this guy a liability and she

(42:09):
tells the truth and it fractures her relationship with h
Elliott temporarily, but still, uh, that's the only way to
do it, right, Like, if you were put in that situation,
that's what you do right of course, if you have integrity.
I mean it speaks a lot to her character. She's like, look,
you're my friend, but I'm I'm not gonna this is
too important for me to not be truthful, right, I don't.

(42:32):
I do think in my experience as a psychologist that
he's a he's a great risk to to you know,
fall off the wagon. But it's still but it's willing
to not say anything and let this thing go through. Also, yeah,
she's letting well she's letting me do her thing. She's
not she's not involved until she is. And she didn't
and she didn't have to go either. She was. She

(42:55):
goes to show Elliott support. You know what, I'll go
with you to show support. How about that, I'll hang
out And it turns out kels Kelso flips and it's like,
well we have a Sam Lloyd Ted the lawyer is
so oh my god, I loved um. When he goes
first of all, they both know his name. Molly and
Elliott know his name, and he can't believe that they

(43:17):
know his name and and uh, and he's like, yeah,
they can have whatever they want. They know my name,
and Kelso goes, why don't I open the floor to
those people who don't currently have erections? Oh my god,
that was funny, very funny, very very funny. What about

(43:39):
the thing where I got First of all, I saw Beard,
for say in the ICU, and now I have this
total neuroses whenever I see Beard saying, oh, he's everywhere.
Why aren't you in the pharmacy? Bro's everywhere? Yeah? But
why is the pharmacist? Because I'm currently on a kick
where I think that Beard, for say, is the main
pharmacist of the hospital. There's obviously a lot of prescriptions
that need filling. It's a huge, old hospital. Why are

(44:00):
you in the ICU. I have no idea why he's
in the ICU. I have a whole I have a
whole thing going on. Beard foots every time I see him,
not in that, not in the pharmacy. I'm like, bro,
back down there. Elliot's a pretty petty. Also, how petty
is Elliott? Well, she's pissed, she feels betrayed. Yeah, but

(44:22):
when she wins, she rubs it in her friend's face. Yeah,
because she she but then again she was wrong because
the guy disappears right. But when she wins, she's like
all up in Molly's face, like she pages her. So
that's a funny bit though, So she goes, she goes,
you don't want to mess with me because you know,
one of the reasons I came in psychologists is I
really know how to pinpoint every once in securities really well.

(44:44):
And and Elliot's like, oh no, you know she was eyebrows.
Elliott cut back to Elliott and she's already sobbing. Her
must scatter is running down her face, and I'm like, Elliott,
are you really that insecure? And she goes John Adams
Apple and I go My lip starts quivering, and I'm like,

(45:05):
I need to go, and then then they and then
they card cut to me and I'm in a fucking
red That ship was hilarious. The red turtle neck, Like,
if you're gonna wear a turtle neck, why are you
mine wearing like you're wearing a red turtle neck while
you while you perform a minor surgery too. Yeah, I

(45:26):
looked so funny. I think turtle night. I can't pull
off a turtle neck, but maybe I should because of
my giant Adams apple. But I just think they always
look super funny. Yeah, I remember to listen. I remember
Matthew Perry did that show back in the day where
he wore where he used to wear turtlenecks. All not
Friends Before Friends. Matt Perry has been around forever, right,

(45:47):
But I remember there was like when I used to
ride the subway back in New York City, there was
one with him and he was on the show. But
the cover, well can you find out what that is?
I didn't know that Matt Perry was successful before Friends.
Matt Perry was very successful before Friends. He was in
a lot of things before Friends. Actually paid his Friend's

(46:07):
gonna be Our our our rewatched show after Scrubs. A
lot of people have requested it. The reason my thinking
behind it, Donald is it's that and Seinfeld and the
Office are like the most watched ones. We want to
pull the most. I think we should. I think we
should be obscure and do things that are a little
bit different. I promise you. I think there are some

(46:30):
shows that are very funny that we're just as successful,
that we could do like a different World. I'm trying
to tell you right now that would be fire. You
watching Hillman College would be fire. But I just don't
know as many people would tune in for that, like
the audience tuning in. The audience is tuning in for

(46:51):
Scrubs or obviously, before there was Friends, there was a
different world before that was all this Cosby and a
different world and Cheers ran Thursday night before Friends and
all that stuff, and we can do Cheers, same type
of Cheers. No black people the shows, dude, I'm keeping
one with you, man. Some of this it's like, look, man,

(47:14):
what am I I'm gonna watch a bunch of white
people tell white people jokes? Nope, not being racist. But
that doesn't it doesn't. I can't really know that. I
didn't know that you were saying in so many words,
you want to pick a show Marissa Tome Marissa Tommey
is in the first season of A Different World, man,
there's a white person in that. Ain't no white people
in any of these shows you talk about, not Cheers,

(47:36):
not Friends, not any of them, dude. One hundred Okay, well,
I didn't realize until now that your objection was related
to African American representation. I apologize that you didn't know
that Perry had guest spots on West Wing growing all
the African American people out there. I'm sorry he didn't
know that. Y'all, boys will be Boys? Is that the

(47:57):
show you're thinking of me? I think it's Boys will
Be Boys? I how about when the janitor says, I'm
still a little drunk from breakfast? What about you at
the strip club with the stripper? That was a great moment,
as you remember shooting that. I don't, but you could
tell I was having a great time. Really looked like

(48:18):
you were method acting you. You really was in your bones.
How about you? So Carla fantasizes a Carla fantasy that
she imagines you're in a strip club. Why why is
your character on the strip club? Because she tells him
he can go to get him off the the scent
that Rowdy's missing? Is that said in the show? Did

(48:41):
I miss it? She says, go to a strip club? Yeah,
she says, yeah, She gives him the She goes go
to a strip club because he's like, I can't find Rowdy.
An I don't think any woman would actually do that. Okay,
I don't think any woman would be like, Oh, I
need to distract my husband. Here's Cash go to his
strip club. Carrie brother at the end of the show

(49:01):
and Alma, Alma has one joke and the whole show
and she nails it. When this is all over, I'm
going to kill you. Yeah, so Carrie Brothers Blue Eyes. Yes,
this had been on the Garden State soundtrack beforehand, just

(49:22):
so you know. And Carrie, the funny thing is this
Carrie singing the song in the karaoke bar. He's singing
his own song. I need then today's episode with Blue
Eyes since we can. Okay, have you ever experienced that before? Though?
Have you ever experienced karaoke where an artist has walked

(49:43):
in and sang their own song? No, that's a thing, Yeah,
I have experienced that before. Really, where do you remember
before it became the Pink Taco What was that? Or
it was the sushi spot on Sunset? So it was
before it was pink Tacos like Miyagi's or something like that, right, right,
I think it was something like that. Never went there.

(50:05):
They used to do Jamie Fox one night. They used
to do a karaoke night right, and it would be packed.
And I say when I say packed, I mean like
it would be packed to the point where you be
stuck at the bar and maybe people on stage. And
it's Hollywood, so you got you know, actors and actresses
like you know, Jamie Fox went up once and did

(50:26):
a song and he did like doom Baby or something
like that with a bunch of his friends. Can do
me in the night. Tila Tequila jumped up and sang
a song. I forget what it was. Anyway, One night,
this young lady jumps up on stage, No doubt love it.
I love it. Tequila is one of your examples of it.
It's gonna get even better. One night, this young lady

(50:47):
jumps up on stage and sing Selene Dion's Near Far
wherever you are. I believe that the heart right nails it,
kills it. Immediately after she's done, everybody's going crazy onto
the stage walks Whitney Houston, what shut up? If no? No,

(51:16):
she was gonna cry stay hi, leeing your way? Oh
my god, are you sure it was her not an impersonator?
I know it was her because she came up and

(51:37):
said hi. After me and we hugged and everything like that.
Oh my god, dude, dude sang the whole song kills it.
I felt so bad to a karaoke track, or like
a composed to the karaoke track, Oh my god, crushes it.
I felt so bad for the young lady who came
up and sang Seline Dion right before that, like she
like she murdered it. But the freaking star power you

(51:59):
know how you played band in the star power happens
and you can that thing hits so hard man, Like
the whole room turned like that blue that happens. I
felt it. I felt that energy right wow, So she crushes.
This is where I gets real awesome too, because you
know I love this brother. Immediately after, Bobby Brown jumps

(52:23):
up on stage and does my prerogative the best night.
It was the best night ever. It was like it
was one of the dude he jumped up on it's
my parrogative. Did the whole thing man like it was?
It was I could. That's why I ask you, have
you ever seen so Carol doing his own song? I
get it so in reminding me of one of the

(52:43):
most embarrassing moments in our history together do you know
what it is? No? You know, you know you like
you cringe sometime. I think, remind me if I've told
this in the podcast before, but like sometimes do you
ever have that thing in your life that happened that
makes you cringe and like you have to like shake
it off because you're like thinking of how embarrassing it was? Yes,
well this is one of mine. Donald and I run

(53:03):
a party and we were intoxicated and the DJ struck
up I don't want no scrub and I both went no, no, no,
no no no no no no no no, don't get,
don't get, don't don't don't letter over the dance no

(53:25):
no no, no no no no no no no no
no no, and started dancing scrubs. Don't you love me?
In on this ship that creeps me up? At night? Dude,
I was on the dance floor dancing with my wife. Alright,
the song comes on. The song comes on. I remember
it because we me and my wife started walking off
the dance floor. You're You're gonna buy it comes ZV.

(53:47):
Hot stepping, hot stepping like it was his freaking bart
miss for high stepping, like it was his body miss
for I don't want no scrubs. The scrubs. It's a
gy cake getting no from And I was like pointing,
like you scrubs embarrassing. I'm telling you. I will be

(54:08):
falling asleep and think of that moment and like shiver
because it's so embarrassing. But Yo, that happens, all right.
So like when we were coming up in New York
and stuff like that. When I was coming up and
I would go to clubs. If you went to a
club and the DJ was there and you had uh
like we're in movies or in TV shows or something
like that, and there were songs that were related to that,

(54:29):
the DJ would play it to acknowledge you and acknowledge
the fact that you're at the party. So do you
think the DJ did that for us? Definitely? But you
were You acted like you had that had never happened
to you before, Like the dashbook it happened, I know,
but you're supposed to act like you've been there before,
a dog, you're supposed to. I think it was in
Kate Hudson's backyard. It was oh yeah, in front of Leo,

(54:50):
in front of all of them. This it was worse.
It was worse because it was in front of all
these A list celebrities, so cringing. But Donald, I think
you're minimizing the fact that you definitely raised your hand
in the air. I did listen. If anything, you are
my best friend. It's kind of like go out like that.
It's kind of like, oh this guy, dude. It's kind

(55:14):
of like in the show when when Jad lies down
next to Turk on the ground at the basketball game. Yes,
you joined me, he joined me, And when all you're like,
all right, he's gonna make it fool himself. But I'm
not gonna leave my buddy out there to fucking hang
himself alone. All right, Joel is the guest here? Is
guest here? All right, Kay, We're gonna go to break
and we'll be right back with a guest. Edward back.

(55:43):
Let's see who we got for day. Let's see. Oh
we have Katie Price. Hi, ladies and gentlemen, give it
up for Katie Price. And friend and friend is wearing
a wish I Always her t shirt. Hello, my friend,
what's your name? I'm Eric? What is it? And Eric? Eric? Eric?

(56:07):
Nice to meet you and thank you for repping wish
I was here swag. That's a dope shirt. Where are
you guys calling from. We're from a small little city
in Michigan called Albion. Okay, I've never heard of albi,
but I am noticing that Donald is going to geek
out because you have h Star Wars prints on your wall.

(56:27):
What's the story behind those? Well, the first one, the
first one on above Katie, that's the shield generator from
Return of the Jedi, and it looks like an at
Walker walker. And then above I see a speeder bike
and I can't tell what it looks like. Dago Yoda

(56:48):
yea four for four. Well, dude, you what an entrance.
You've got Star Wars prints on the wall, and I
wish I was here. Che shirt you had to sit hello,
and they have a debunking in here. Eric wrote in ahead, Eric,
tell us your story. So I've been listening for the
entire run of the podcast. Thank you, sir. I was.

(57:11):
I started running last year and this was my podcast
I listened to while I was running. Great, so I'd
always hear the guest and like's so cool they call
in they get to talk to you guys, Like, I
can't think of anything that I could bring to the
table to be a good guest until the recent episode
with Sarah Chuck. Okay, and you got to the words

(57:33):
of the end of it, and Donald seemed to think
that there's no way that anyone could date, break up
and then years later get back to Mary. Yes, I
want to hear when it. First of all, hold on,
don't I'm not good. I listen, man, let's stop it,
stop stop it, stop it. Let them have their moment.

(57:55):
They're gonna have the moment. I just want to make
sure that the rules are clear. No, you guys broke up.
You guys broke up because want to use what one
of you was an asshole though? Right? Okay, cool, okay,
all right, okay, let him tell the story. Go ahead,
what's your journey? Tell us your journal. I moved moved
away from my first couple of years of college and

(58:16):
then came back to my hometown college, where I started
to date a girl from my high school right away.
Little did I know that this girl from my high
school was dating this friends with me, friends with sorry, yes,
the girls dating was friends with this absolute rocket here
next to me. Right, So I started developing feelings for her,

(58:37):
broke up with the first girl, started dating her afterwards,
dated for a couple of years, and towards the end
of the couple of years we started to grow part
a little bit. Things got sour. I wasn't the most
mature person, and so we both graduated and I moved
away and she went to grad school. Fast forward a

(59:01):
couple of years. I'm living out in Las Vegas. She
comes out there for a conference. We meet up, hang
out a little bit, and maybe start to rekindle things,
and then of course I'm the asshole and break things
apart again. Oh man, that's two strikes, I know. We
go our separate ways for a couple more years. Fast

(59:22):
forward to twenty twelve. I'm still in grad school doing
my PhD. And I hear from him for the first
time in years because things were not good after the
whole Las Vegas Shenanigan, and he was like, hey, I know,
we haven't talked in a while. I'm gonna be where

(59:43):
you live. Are you around? And I felt kind of
bad for him because he was going to be by
himself in this city where he didn't know anybody in
It was his birthday, So it's like, I'll throw him
a bone. You know, he's nice. You're a nice woman.
Because he had had two different periods of being a
jerk to you. Yeah, and I also, I have to
say it was a good thing we broke up because

(01:00:03):
grad school was a really good time of personal growth
for me where I got really good at like loving
myself and being single and just having fun on my
own self. So you you you sort of you did
your own thing. You like you got some you got
some of that, Yeah, Donald, go ahead, you guys, are
you guys aren't giving a good example. I'm gonna be
honest with you talking. Let them finish, Okay, So our

(01:00:26):
past kept crossing though over these years, so you don't
have to be right. Let them have their moment. I'm
going to be right at the end of this. This
is a This couple right here is destined to be together.
You could tell from when they met. This is this
is when Harriet, this is a nice little meat cute
as he don't worry about don't worry about him. Go ahead,
So we hang out on my birthday when I'm in

(01:00:48):
her city, and we go back our separate ways. Bate
brought us back together again at a friend's father's funeral,
brought me home to where she's teaching she's now a
college professor, brought me home to where she's teaching. We
meet up again, rekindle things. She makes it very clear
to me at this point that if you met, like,

(01:01:10):
if we're getting back together, this is for real. Yeah.
I also, in the meantime had a very strict policy
with anybody else I was dating, like we date once.
If we break up, there's a reason it's over. So
you didn't with other with other people that you saw,
you didn't never go back, of course, not yeah, but
you obviously you obviously had strong feelings for this guy

(01:01:31):
because somebody there's something special about this was something there. Well,
So that's kind of the underlying thing is that I
was truly and fully in love with Eric when we
were in college, and I knew what it felt like
to truly be in love with somebody, and I promised
myself that I would never get married unless I've felt
that way again about somebody. Good for you. So we

(01:01:54):
get back to there and start dating again. She lays
it down like, if this is happening, like we're getting married,
Like we're dating again, this is it, Like this is
the ultimatum. So I'd done my own personal growth at
this point I'd matured. I was like, yep, I'm in
So we start dating again, we move into we moved
back to the same city again, and we got engaged

(01:02:16):
in twenty twenty fifteen, got married in twenty seventeen, and
we're coming up on four years next month. Well, congratulations,
I'm a romantic so I love stuff like that. Now
Donald is going to say why you don't meet the
criteria that he said, go ahead, okay, So this story

(01:02:37):
already comes from love. So you knew you were in
love all the way back then, and you just were
waiting for him to get to the level that you
were at. So therefore all of the breakups in your
heart because you were in love. We're kind of like,
you know what, he kind of holds a place I'll
see him soon. Where the story would have been would

(01:02:59):
have been held the criteria the girl that you broke
up with to get with her after you that and
you got back with her, that I would have been like,
holy shit, that's that. I would have never did your
story right there. That's kind of like me and my
now wife. I chased after her forever and ever and ever,

(01:03:21):
and then she finally said yes. She said yes, when
she knew I was ready. It sounds like the same
thing with you. It sounds like it sounds like you
came back and you were like, gee, how do I
keep messing this up? And she was like, well, I'm here,
and you're like, well, what's up? And then you're like, oh,
I'm gonna mess it up again, and she was like,
when you're ready, I'll be here again. I was not

(01:03:42):
sure he was ever going to get his ship together
enough though, but you were banking on. But you had
in your heart you knew well, now I'm not gonna
say in your heart, but you were hoping he did. Yes.
I was definitely hoping. You're so lucky that she's so cool. Dude,
You're a very lucky man. Dude, you are a very
lucky man. And I hope you understand this, because anyone, okay,

(01:04:04):
anyone who is willing to put up with some bullshit
like that to two times where he's like I can't,
it was it was more. It was many more times
than that. I'm always found his way back into my
life and then destroyed me. Oh man, well I'm so
happy that it destroyed is a heavy I'm saying to

(01:04:24):
damn but I know, damn well, it has a happy
ending and that's what we like, and we love people
to be happy and in love. We're in the process
of finding Joelle love here on the show. Is you know,
we're still waiting on someone to sponsor the Joelle Loves segment.
All right, guys, well that's a great story, and I'm
welcome to the show. And do you have a question

(01:04:46):
for us? Yes, we do. So we've been fans of
the show. That's one of the things we bonded over
when we first started dating was the show. She was
watching it first. She got me into it, and I
like that, that's what's and so it's been something we've
been watched. Were we rewatched. We also don't recognize the

(01:05:06):
ninth season as being a thing. It's not part of
the original I've never actually been seeing it. Yeah, neither
of mine. I've never watched one. I've never watched one
episode of the ninth I don't think i've ever watched
an episode of scene. It's gonna be really fun when
we get to it because we'll be seeing it for
the first time. We have the DVD box set from
seasons one through eight til we stopped it yeah, that's all.

(01:05:26):
We recommend that with so many stories being told during
that time, is there any story that you wish had
been told, or any story in Scrubs that you wish
had been told differently? M? I wish we would have
met Turk's father. M. Father. Did you not have a father?

(01:05:48):
I think he does. I'm pretty sure he does. I
don't remember why they never got to cast Billy was
the dad? No, Billy Dean was Billy Dee was uh
Zach's uh girlfriend at the times, father godfather, godfather. Oh yeah,

(01:06:09):
and he's really Billy D. And he's really Billy D. Williams. Yeah, yeah,
because you go ben it D, will you? No? I go, Lando,
Calarizzi Billy D. Damn it. It's Billy D. Damn it.
It's Billy D. Damn it. No, Cal I told y'all
the story on what I did when I did that
to him in real life and what happened. Yeah, yeah,

(01:06:29):
did not go well for me. I don't know if
you're gonna be playing young Lando anytime soon. Well, it did,
it didn't happen. It did it already didn't happen. And
the meme that you posted online was one of the
worst things you've ever done to mother. I remember being
so upset but so thinking it was so funny when Lando,
when Donald Glover was announced as Lando Calarissian. Zach Braff

(01:06:50):
posts the picture the meme of me in the back
in the in the car from Clueless, when the truck
comes behind me and I'm yelling he and he wrote
under it, when you find out you're not playing Lando, adamage.
I don't forgot I did that. That's funny that it

(01:07:12):
was so I remember being so I remember the laughing.
You were mad dude when listen when it said when
it said Lando Calarissia is gonna be played by Donald
and then dot dot dot dot dot. I think I
think all media was fucking with me that day. I
think all media was fucking with me that day. They
didn't they could have said Donald Glover right away, but

(01:07:35):
they wrote Donald dot dot dot dot, and I was like,
I got a chance quick. You thought you might not
have been warned that you had been cast as you like,
I'm just reading the news. I don't know. I don't
know how shit works. You hear people are freaking driving
in their car and they get nominated for Academy Awards
and shit like that. I was like, maybe this is

(01:07:57):
how the shit happens for me. Maybe my life gets
turned upside down like the fresh Prince of bell Air
the same way that you know. Maybe it happens over
the trades. Maybe that's how I find out and it
didn't happen that way. I think I'm hoping that's how
I find out. I'm in one of these Star Wars shows.
Donald Fazon is cast as such and such in one

(01:08:17):
of these Star Wars shows. I gotta I gotta make
that happen. Man, I wish there was something I wish.
There's nothing you can do unless you work for Lucasfilm.
Let's start speaking of Are you guys watching any I
hate to do it, but I'm gonna. Are you guys
watching WandaVision? We haven't watched today's episode yet? Oh my god,
it's so good. I know, Joel turn your key, Joel

(01:08:41):
it turned? I haven't seen it yet, is it is? He?
Oh my listen, if you have, you have you Daniel's
not watching any of anytime. I'm just happy you're watching
a TV show, my friend, because you don't normally you
only watch the final because it's like a movie because
it's crazy to watch it. It is so and the

(01:09:02):
way they flawlessly moved between television formats and film formats
is mind blowing. Then they got like top tier actors.
Tiana Parish is just killing it. They are not words
to discuss the talent this woman has. If you kill
the mill Street to talk, she's the main girl in that.
They cast her in here to play Monica Rambo, one
of them killing bad ist mother efforts ever to be

(01:09:24):
in Marvel bad motherfuckers ever. No, Joell, no, no, no,
I'm I'm trying. When it's PG and Disney, I try
to stay away from them. I'm trying to corrupt. I'm
trying to corrupt Joel and to turn it too, turning

(01:09:45):
to the side that I'm on. But we have two takes.
We can elaborately bleep me out. But the show is
it's very, very good and I love Why can I
not think of Janda's actual human name? You mean you
mean a little very Mary Mary Kayton Nashley's sister. Yeah,
a little baby sister. Oh. She is so talented and

(01:10:05):
really holding down the four on the show. It's exciting.
I don't know where it's going. It's a really great
in a year where we haven't had a Marvel movie.
It's like a really interesting way to be like Marvel,
to move into the next phaise. Like I think there're
maybe one of the very few companies that it's like
this pandemic might work for us, Like we can build
a ton of story out and explore new world and
really get people into whatever our second wave is gonna look.

(01:10:27):
Like I huge fan of the show, really enjoying this.
If this is what TV is now, if this is
what television is going to be, holy cow, we are
it's about to get it. We're about to jump to
the next level. You know, if Disney has taken over
where Lucasfilm left off, they're doing it right. Because TV
is now, it's it's it might as well look it's

(01:10:50):
it is a movie. It looks just like the movie,
just like it and it never did that before. And
now we're there when they go from the four by
three ft and it starts to slowly pan out and
then go to the y screen like you know, it's
about to go down. Yeah, that's cool, that's cool. I
want to check it out. Yeah, I've been hearing great

(01:11:11):
things about it, and that's something I'll watch. Donald, We're
gonna have a show that we both watch besides Mandalorian.
I love it all right, what's your next question? So
I know that Scrubs has been said to be one
of the most medically accurate shows. My mom was a nurse.
She was even like, this is the closest it actually is,
you know, to real life in a hospital. It's also

(01:11:34):
very useful in academia. I swear somebody in the writer's
room took a calm one O one textbook opened it
up two chapters about listening, identity, and conflict. And I
can't tell you how many times I have watched My
Own American Girl, My Office and My fifteen Seconds to

(01:11:57):
teach those concepts in the class room. What do you
use them? Do you use them in the classroom? Yeah,
I've watched them with my students. You're that you're that
cool teacher that rolls in remember and when we were
in when we were in public school, and they would
roll in the TV cart and you were like, yes,
TV cart. Yeah, So I've gotten I've gotten some students
in two Scrubs. We appreciate you, but I am curious

(01:12:21):
if since it clearly has applications to lots of different
areas of life. If you have heard of any other
industries that have found scrubs to be useful, No, I
personally haven't, but I love the fact that you see that.
I don't think I've ever heard of anyone referencing it
besides the medical community, which seems to really love it.

(01:12:42):
It's good because it was a network TV show, so
there's not a lot of swear words are graphic sex
or anything, so you can mean there was some mean,
there's a lot of todd, a lot of todd. Yeah,
it's pretty sexy for a for a network show, though,

(01:13:05):
I think, especially in this episode, Donald Sung getting gyrated
on by an erotic dancer. Well, no, Turkey is. I
wasn't Turk was. Well, you were in real life, I
was acting. You don't remember shooting. You don't remember shooting
that scene. There's so many strip clubs, Zach, so much. Okay,

(01:13:26):
it just goes together with all your other experiences. All right,
it's time ladies and gentlemen. Drum roll, danalel I want
a drum roll here, timpany drum roll, thought Daniel. It's
time for a tiny town in Michigan's favorite segment, it's
time to fix yeah life? All right, go ahead, guys,

(01:13:48):
how can we fix your life? You seem like pretty
happy people, but we're gonna do it anyway. So this
is kind of a fix our life plus probably fix
a lot of people's lives. Yes, we've we've done during pandem,
We've done puzzles, we've done baking together, we've gone for walks,
we've kind of done a lot of card games. We've
done a lot of stuff, and so we're kind of

(01:14:09):
running out of things to do. So anything that you
guys have done with your significant others or other people
in your lives that you can share that we can
also do to stave off some boredom. Great idea. We
started a garden. You have a beautiful garden. You have
room for a garden. Beautiful gardens. I know it's freezing
because it's Michigan. It's not the Yeah, sorry, it's not

(01:14:32):
gonna work. Sorry where it's seventy right now? What I
would about to say, what can you grow that by
by May you can plant and be ready to you
know what I mean? What is there that you can
do indoor and then take it outdoor because it's like
you're you're creating a baby. Yeah, a little right, could
you could? You could do seedlings like in your window.

(01:14:54):
It is fun to watch everything grow. That's something that
we've done that I really enjoy. What's the favorite thing
that you plant in tomatoes? I mean, it's not the
season even in a lafe for tomatoes, but we planted
so many cherry tomatoes and it's like they're green. They're green,
the green all of a sudden one week, it's just
like so many. You have to just give them away

(01:15:15):
and you eat them off the vine and they're so delicious,
and heirloom tomatoes we had, we had, I mean, I
was just like giving tomatoes away to all my friends
and neighbors because we have so many. Yeah, Donald, your hand,
you're the coach. I don't want to. I don't want
I don't want to cut you off. Why why don't
you guys do grapes? That would be great? I did
owe them, no you, Zach, I did imagine having just

(01:15:37):
as I think that vineyard looks so cool, like just
doing a section like that. But I don't know, there's people,
there's companies that like if you have like a small
amount of grapes, you know, not like zero, not like nothing,
but like, you know, a low amount of grapes that
you're only gonna get a couple of bottles of wine
at them. There's companies that will take all your grapes

(01:16:00):
that you harvest and make you like two bottles of
wine from your crop or whatever it is. I don't know,
I think it was. That would be really cool if
you got some wine, if you made some wine and
then put it up on the Fake Doctor's Real Friends site.
And I don't think that I could could make enough

(01:16:20):
wine on my on my my b one bottle, one bottle,
one bottle. We've been on it, we have people been
on and it goes to charity. That would be so cool.
That's a good idea, that would be so cool. I
just have to play you know what here, guys, forget
about fixing your life. We're gonna fix Zach's life now

(01:16:41):
za thinking we thank you? What else at all? Like
it's it seems sort of sometimes tribularly silly, but I
like just painting, like just movie paint around, experimenting with
colors and mixings, and it's like a small investment. But

(01:17:05):
once you have it like on a nice sunny day
you just want to like go outside and paint a field,
and you can easily track your progress as you grow
as an artist, and then you have nice gifts for
everybody birthdays, holidays, just because it's be like, oh, you
moved in here, have a painting, you need something on
your walls. It's like, it's just a really lovely like
hobby that you can do it by yourself or together.

(01:17:27):
I got one. Go ahead. Now you're gonna think it's
weird and you're not gonna want to do it. So
it sounds great so far. Maybe you will, Maybe you will,
But I do I do I do animation. That could
be something you could get into together. You know what
I mean? Why not? You got a bunch of time
on your hand. It takes a lot of time. Well,
you're you're this is You're you're saying like, this is

(01:17:47):
a this is a hobby that you're very skilled at
and have had ten thousand hours of experience. That's somebody.
You don't just dip your toe and stop motion animation.
Sure you do. That's how it starts. You say, hey,
you know what, let's get some play. Though you get
you got Adapts on the Wall, you got you know,
you've got a bunch of Star Wars stuff. So it's
clear that you're into that type of stuff, So why

(01:18:08):
not why not create? You guys could create your own
little shorts, create your own little the software. It's inexpensive.
It doesn't take much. You can even buy Lego or
whatever to tell your story. What do they call that
series of Lego that where they're like the town where
they you know, not really creator creator, Yeah, that series

(01:18:30):
if you want to. Really, it's like I thought of
it like doing a puzzle in a sense that it's
a big ass house and it's not meant for a child.
I mean, I think it says like sixteen and up
or something. But that's fun to do together. That's something
I didn't do during the pandemic, but I have done.
When I was procrastinating is supposed to be writing, I
was like, I know what I'll do. I'll write after
I build this giant Lego house. I have another really

(01:18:54):
quick idea that my friends are doing that are a
couple as like they're reading to each other every day,
which I think is just the sweetest thing. I don't know,
you're a professor. So maybe you're like a girl, I
don't want to read anything else, but I get home,
I'm done. But if you guys enjoy Star Wars, there's
an entire new line of Star Wars books coming out
that are really well written. If you're into Star Wars

(01:19:16):
High Republic, it's years before the movie, so that's kind
of funny universe to dive into. And I just spent
like two or three hours reading to each other each night,
and I just think it's so romantic, it's sweet, it's
very sweets. Do well. What kind of paints do you
paint with? Oh, I'm partial to watercolors because they're not

(01:19:40):
as expensive as oils, and they're easier to blend. Like
you gotta really be in there with like oils with
the like metal tool and mashing, and I'm like, I'm
gonna mess it up. And then I spent fifty dollars
on this one tube of paint, and I'm angry. There's watercolors.
You know, you spent fifty dollars. You could think a
nice little palette. I mostly like to do like sunsets,
like obsessed with painting sunsets. They're not hard at all.

(01:20:01):
They're fun. You don't feel like a failure. Afterwards, people
are like, that's a sunset, Like, yes, it is. Thank
you because you are very special guests, and because you're
wearing that very awesome T shirt. We're gonna give you
a special prize today. You're the first recipient. Wait, do

(01:20:22):
you have a record player? Yes? Okay, I'm gonna give
you a signed of Wish I was here. Yay, So
that's awesome. Joel will get your address and I will
write you a personal note. And this is a really
beautiful double album. And it's one hundred and eighty Grahams,
which means it's good. And it's from Zach and Donald. Yes.

(01:20:47):
By the way, by the way, if you look closely,
that's Donald's arms because this is the scene where we
drive the aston Martin Donald. You probably didn't know this.
Your your arms are on the poster? Is that meet
the look? Oh? Yeah, I recognize that. Now. Well I
know something funny. Do I know a bit of funny trivia?
So when you when you make a movie poster, every

(01:21:10):
actor has a different contractual thing. If they're they have
to be on the poster or it's up to the filmmakers.
It's it's all in the contract and in certain things,
it's like, well, if you show one person that they
have it in their contract, like, well, if this person's
face is on the on the poster, then mine has
to be on the poster. It's all this, you know,
small print stuff. While we're making the poster. It turns

(01:21:33):
out and Josh Gad wouldn't have cared, but it didn't matter.
It was already in the in the contract. If his
face was on the poster, then it triggered other people
had to be on the poster and we couldn't have
that because we like the design. So Josh Gad is
technically on, but we put a glare over his face.
You see that. That is it's a little bit of

(01:21:57):
trivia for you. Oh if you're looking as Josh is
a cool dude, because I'd be like, looks strategically placed
glare over his face. That's so funny. Pretty sneaky, Zach,
pretty sneaky. All right, guys, thank you for coming on
the show. You can stay because we're done, right fans,

(01:22:20):
we sold out donald of those of the of the
key chain things, the lockets, they sold out like in
twenty four hours, no matter how many things we put
up they're gone. Do you think it had something to
do with me singing Annie? Yes, yes, of course maybe.
I can't fathom how many of those things we bought.
See what you did there, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel? Did you

(01:22:42):
plan that? Daniel? Did you plan that? You did? Let's
take credit you did? What can I say? So? The
only thing exciting new thing we have in the merge shop,
if you're intrigued, is we have these badge poles. If
you have a job where you need to pull out
your your badge, why not look cool with Donald and
I snuggling on your chest. A right, all you lovers

(01:23:06):
out there, ye pulls for all you love. By the way,
we know we created the keychain thing for a Valentine's
they gift, but they're sold out. So give your lover
a badge pull for all you lovers out there. We
have You can attach the badge part to your lover's
waist and then clip this on your waist and then
you guys can just go like this back and forth

(01:23:28):
and bag. I thought you were gonna say something else.
I'm so glad you didn't. Let us move on to
the end of the show, where Carrie Brothers will be
singing yes, So everybody, thank you for tuning in. We
care about you, Stay safe, be kind, love each other
like this beautiful couple does. And we're gonna end the
show with our friend Carrie Brothers, who is an incredibly

(01:23:50):
talented musician, and here is his song that everybody loves.
Go ahead, don what are you trying to say when
I first heard this song? And you, guys, tell me
when you listen to it, if you understand and what
he's saying in the first verse, it's something like wishing
a wiseman to tell you lie, No, this is what

(01:24:11):
I'm talking about. When the blue talsing, What the heck
does he say right there? Wood? I asked him once.
He was like, I don't know what I'm saying. Yes,
I asked him, and he said he didn't know. When
you listen to listen to them. When you listen to
the song, now you'll see, uh, you'll see if you
can find out what Carry's singing about. And also check

(01:24:31):
out Carry Brothers music because he's a friend of ours,
he's a friend of the show, and he's a delightful
human being. So here's Carry Brothers with Blue Eyes love you,
Michael Wiseman to lie when a broom screams. Children of

(01:25:03):
single tragic scene. I swan se song you. I swan
take it off you. It's black you, I near it's

(01:25:34):
black your sweet SMI listen TI on the ponm your hair.

(01:25:57):
I can have day saved it up for this dance.
Tell me our friends. Can I have a swung Si
song you? I swung strung spr your own silke splace,

(01:26:48):
old song, A life which can't on me, your heart
to blind stars, all life, but you don't know. Turn

(01:27:11):
up the grass. It's b you disles. That's one, the

(01:27:38):
one I won't say so, that's one gets yours good.

(01:28:01):
I ken it's bad that small sense, all that small
cities are young. That's true sense.

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Donald Faison

Zach Braff

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United States of Kennedy

Dateline NBC

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.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}404: My First Kill