424: My Drive By

On this week's episode, Cox takes credit for a life Turk saved. In the real world, we're all excited about our Hyundai episode (airing next week) and a feature piece in the Washington Post.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi Donald, y'all like little NASAs. Yeah, yeah, I don't
really know too much about him other than the I
loved this boy. Oh yeah that song he got right
now you need and instantly that did that did dude
day That shit is fire and people throw dirt on

(00:23):
your names. I know, and then did cry. But it's
hard to dude, I and never do on past mistakes
and people throwing that shit is fire. Since ten I
was feeling lonely, had friends, but they was picking on me.
And I can't understand what he says, but didn't He

(00:43):
gets deep with it. He gets deep with it. He's
like these gay feelings used to haunt me. I wish
God would take him from me. That shit is fired, dude,
man Like he speaks truth, right, dude, he speaks truth
through his music. He write a poll to Helen that's
fun music in this one. No, he does not that

(01:06):
me up. We talked about that a little bit yesterday.
You guys don't know, Yeah, but we shot some stuff
in a hun day and uh, and we talked about
it was fun. Yesterday we drove around La the episode.
We don't know what it's going to air, right Joel, Uh,
I think it's the twenty second or twenty fifth. That week,
we did a special episode where we drove around Los Angeles,

(01:29):
the four of us. We took the show on the
road and we got to all be in the same
vicinity together for the first time. I know, you know,
a long time before this quarantine happened. Our plan, as
we've told you, was to be in a studio, and
then pandemic hit. Literally La shut down the day we
were supposed to start, and we all ended up doing

(01:50):
it over zoom. And then this was the very first
episode we've all ever done in the same space in
a car. It's amazing. I'm so happy that we I'm
so happy that we got to do it. I laughed
so much. I was about to say, I think you
guys are gonna enjoy the ride. Also, uh, we videoed it. Yeah,
it's all on We put it on videos, so maybe

(02:12):
you guys will see it up. On another side, I
think we should. Um, I think we should put it
on YouTube. I agree. I mean, don't you Well, if
the people show up and watch it, we can do
this often, you know what I mean. Well, I just
thought it was cool. You know, we've people have been
asking for video and here it's just shitty zoom videos.
So it's like, I guess we could put that up. Also,

(02:35):
Daniel has all the recordings, so we could maybe want
all of them. You do, right, Oh yeah, don't don't
erase them. But but never. But for my focus keeps
changing on this camera because you got that D, you
got that h D, you got to day, So I
wish I could talk to the auto focus and like, baby,
the focus should be here girl, you got that four

(02:56):
k ARCHD baby. Um. Anyway, so we shot the whole
thing with pros and um and uh so maybe we'll
put up on YouTube because we have it and it'll
be fun. Yeah. But we talked about little Noax and
him riding down to strip of pole into hell U
at one point I think that was after no, this
is in your house? After that's right? That wasn't my
head because I sent you a meeting. Yeah, that little

(03:18):
of that of that guy talking about how it was
offensive and everything, and the minute little Nozax jumps onto
the strip of pole, you here, Oh my god, Jesus,
I don't know that. Don't mean to be the sound
effective masturbation with your mouth. But okay, now we have that, Daniel,
I'm gonna need that in the sound pad. Give me
a clean track of it. Here we go, ready for
the we go? Here we go. Let me take the

(03:39):
headphones off, really lay it down like you're an artist. No,
I'm not kidding enough. Oh, I don't need your orgasm nice.
You don't want to organ I guess you did it
into the age six mic. So I'll have it clean, Daniel.
I'm gonna need that nice and juicy. It'll be like,
um what do they call it? A SMR? It'll be
like masturbation. Do you remember the one? Do you remember
the one that Howard Sterner had on his show where

(04:00):
We're just Oh, that's where gurgle gurgle came from. It
was that. I think gurgle Gurgle was Tracy Morgan on
the Howard Stern Show, going Gurgle, Gurgle, gurgle. Joel had
to take off her headphone. She can't, Joel, did you
take a headphone break a little? I'm sorry, yo. I

(04:22):
had I had partially of a I had part of
a rap written for this episode. Freaking I don't know
where the page when I went to start because I
started it. We can't blame it on weed anymore, because
you don't smoke weed anymore. I started it, I know, right,
instead of doing it on paper, I started it and
then you know, I was like, all right, I'm happy

(04:42):
with this for the opening. Now I got to watch
the show, and you know, that was days ago that
I started it. And then I watched the show and
I was like, damn, but this is this is gonna come.
This isn't gonna be in sequence, right, you know you'll
have you'll have some time before this episode airs. Okay,
so maybe i'll send it to you guys. I really think,
you know, the fans are clamoring for more raps from you, Donald. Okay,

(05:04):
so if I can figure it out, here goes the recap.
At some point I'll do We'll do something like that
and then I'll send I always at Donald's house yesterday
when his daughter, my goddaughter, lost her very first tooth,
and I felt so excited that I got to be
there for that moment. Speaking of teeth, my dog bit Joel. Yes, yeah,

(05:28):
Donald's dog also bit Joel. It's a very dog biting
month for this family. Although Joel, even though you got
nipped out, you did not get a rottweiler on your thigh,
I was gonna say afterwards. I was seeing as we
were coming back, I was thinking, like, oh, man, at
least it wasn't on the fire. I can't even because
it hurt pretty bad for like a second. I'm fine
now it's okay, but I can't imagine on your thigh.

(05:49):
So I'll be your lawyer. I don't got no money.
I sent all my kids, I send all my kids
to private school. I don't got no money. Joel, Well anyway,
but I don't. Feeling up pretty great, It's like, oh
my goodness, Well on back to the positive thing. It
was so sweet when she lost her tooth, and then
she was walked after her tears were done. She was

(06:09):
walking around showing, showing this all her lower jaw over
and over again. Very cute. You got through. Yeah, the
tooth fairy bring The tooth fairy brought her twenty dollars.
Oh wow, so much more now. It's generous tooth fairy.
And and the twenty dollars was sprinkled with fairy dust
all over. I couldn't tell she's young enough to believe

(06:32):
in the tooth fairy, right, I couldn't do I cut that, Daniel,
because if she listens to this, I don't want that
she definitely believes in the tooth fairy. Dude. Okay, but
why is your daughter listening to the podcast when we're
talking about the dirtiest shit ever. Because I'm always with them,
they don't know what the fuck we're talking about. Like
they might be like, you just did a fucking masturbation

(06:53):
sound with your fucking mouth. They have no idea what
masturbation is or freaking the sound of masturba Asian asked
face master Bay capisode. They don't know what a twat is, dude.
Come on, all right, you start saying so funny tooth
fairy dude, I'm worried about that. I'm worried about Santa Claus,

(07:14):
I'm worried about all. We gotta stop, just stop, just stop.
We don't have to cut that, Daniel. I'm going to
make sure that they don't listen to this episode. Yeah,
just make sure. I just think it's hilarious that you
are fine with them hearing you yell at me that
my name is twat ears, that's the best nickname ever.
But you're worried about the tooth fairry being out at
his fake No, because I was at your house and

(07:36):
I was I was like, oh, tooth fairy. I was
like talking up the tooth fairy. And I just couldn't
read from her face if she who? Who is that
reporter that was so worried at like eleven o'clock at
night whenever her show came on that kids were watching
and that somebody said that Santa was black. What was
her name again? She had an NBC show or something
like that. Oh, I know you're talking about she was

(07:57):
a Fox. Yeah, I'm Megan Kidge Kelly. She was so
worried that at eleven o'clock when her show was on,
that some kid was going to be up and terrified
the fact that Sannah was black, that she was like,
Oh my god, hilarious. Is in my house? Sannah was
definitely black listening in my house? Jesus is black, all right?

(08:22):
So what you're talking about? What you talking about? Eastern Jew?
Don't tell anyone, okay, listen, see in Zach's house, Jesus
is the Middle Eastern in everyone's house. In everyone's house,
Jesus jew um. Speaking of reporters, Donald and I are
doing an interview after this with a very fancy reporter

(08:44):
from the Washington Post. That would be fun. That's how
that's how fancy our podcast has gotten. The Washington Post
wants to interview with Donald that's crazy. Don't say anything
embarrassing like twat ears. I mean, if she brings it up. No,
she's not gonna bring it up. If she's like, well,
what do you guys have any names that are like

(09:05):
do you have any names like terms that are terms
of endearment towards each other? And I'd be like, yeah,
oh yeah, let's not do that. Let's be on our
best behavior in front of the Washington Post reporter. I
thought she was going to come on the show, like
the last time we had a reporter. But I think
that she just wants to talk to us off the
off the proverbial air. She wants to get the scoop
before family feud, right, family feud. Um. I saw the

(09:29):
there's a trailer. I retweeted a trailer for it. Um, Joel,
I saw you did too. That's exciting. We're still all
allowed to answer. You're back on Twitter. I slipped a
little bit and did a couple of retweets. I have
to say, um, but I'm I'm gonna get back off.
It's like it's like I fill up the wagon for
a second. Yeah, I've always done promotional Twitter, but no,

(09:50):
I did. I did. I was bored the other day
and found myself looking at what was trending. By the way,
I watched that fight last night because you told me
to watch that fight. That was the most ridiculous thing.
I am so mad I gave those I was ridiculous.
I will say this, Floyd is an older gentleman now,
and so he's not necessarily you know. I mean, let's

(10:11):
put it this way. He puts on a great show
because in my opinion, I feel like he could have
started the fight the way he did the whole thing,
and instead he let it. I mean, he could have
started the fight the way he finished the fight. In
between round three and eight, it was clear that Floyd
was dominating and this kid was outclassed. But Floyd, being

(10:35):
the businessman and the showman that he is, won it
went eight rounds two. He was very nice at the
end of the thing. I'd love to see what Logan
Paul does against the heavyweight now. And I don't know
anything about boxing, but I learned a little bit from
asking people, so did Logan Paul? It's Logan or Jake?
It was it was Logan Paul. Did Logan do a

(10:56):
good job? I mean for for an amateur? He did
last eight rounds right listen for for for the show
that we paid for, he did great. I would like
to see him fight another heavyweight. The thing is compared
to you, me, Daniel and Joel. He's a phenomenal fighter,

(11:16):
you know what I mean? Sure? Absolutely absolutely. I don't know,
I don't, I don't know anything. I saw that he
was ripped, and I saw that he didn't get killed.
So I just, I just, I just I don't know
anything about it. But he's he's saying him and his
brother say him that real potential. Him and his brother
both have skills to actually win fights. The thing is

(11:37):
they're taking fights that are money grabs, which is fine,
Which is fine. He's a business I'm a business man.
Because they minute they lose the trains, the gravy trains
over and the money's over. But they definitely have recognized Okay,
if we play bad guy, we're gonna get a lot
of money. Are there? So fine? You know, I've never

(11:57):
met I've never met them. I've never seen anyone's so
okay with being the villain. They're like, they're like wwf
um bad guy wrestlers from the really well you know
what I mean. You might have a lot like bad
guys and from the w W E or F whatever
you call these days, like, but in real life they're
just fine being like the troll that makes that makes

(12:18):
a lot of money, I know what I mean? How
much do you think they each? What are they saying that?
I know Mayweather got one hundred million last night for
that fight. Maybe didn't. Yeah, and then what did what
did Logan make? I have no idea. Logan Paul had
a guarantee two hundred and fifty thousand and ten percent
of the pay per view viewings, so then he definitely
got paid. Well can you google what? What what they're saying?
I don't know if it's out that that is the answer.

(12:39):
I just told you he had guaranteed two hundred and
I don't know why you turned up the Sassafras. I'm
curious what ten percent of the purse was. Oh, I
don't know. Well, if it was, I don't know. Do
you think they'll release that? I don't know if all
I know is if if Mayweather got one hundred million,
I'm sure he got the hundred million from the probably probably,

(13:01):
so that would mean that Logan gets ten ish or something. Dude,
knock me to fuck out for him. Look, man, listen,
I get it. Dude, all these cats. Would you take
a punch from not from from like a like a
boxer in your weight class? Um for ten bucks? No? No,
I way too much. No no no no no no
no no no no no no no no, but I'll
put up. Listen. I feel like everybody out there if

(13:25):
somebody said twenty million dollars to go on TV, and
I'll act. Look even if you whiff and miss, I'll
make that shit look like you got me good. The
legs will go out and everything and I'll fall flat
on my face. For twenty million dollars, we're saying, we're
thinking it's probably ten. Let's just keep it right for
ten million dollars a buck for t I'm saying, like, no,

(13:50):
someone told me, my trainer actually told me that Mayweather's
not known for knocking people out. Correct, No, not not
not lately. He doesn't mean that younger, That doesn't mean
his punch wouldn't hurt like hell, But it sounds like
Mayweather's not gonna knock you out for ten million. As
he got older, he stopped knocking people out and became
more of a technical fighter and outclassed people. So would
you go in the ring with Mike Tyson for ten million?

(14:11):
Fuck you? They kill you? Oh my gosh. And Mike
Tyson's a nice person outside of the ring. When he
sees you, he's it's all love and everything like that,
but there's a switch that turns on and he fight
is a fight is a fight, and he will fuck
you up. I was gonna say it just as a
quick side note. This episode actually comes out after Family

(14:32):
Feud premieeres. This one does, but not the interview Well nothing, yes, right,
but that person's not here right now. So I'm just saying,
if you wanted to tell people how you felt about
Family Feud, Oh, you're saying you could kill them. We
can talk about Family Feud. I'm saying at this point
we could talk about it if you wanted to. If
you want to sure that it comes out after feeling yeah, Well,

(14:53):
because the episode's coming out tomorrow. I sent to you
guys in your inbox, but then the episode's coming out
next Tuesday? Is this one? I'm just one Sunday, this Sunday,
This coming Sunday. Wait, this coming Sunday. Yes, this coming Sunday.
They're not good with dates. Did everybody watch us last
night on Family or did everybody watch us this weekend
on Family Feud? And did you see it's on Hulu?

(15:15):
Now it's releasing the next day on Hulu on Monday.
So you didn't see a research Well, if you didn't
see us on Family Food, you can watch it on Hulu.
Did you guys like us on Family Food? We're winners?
Who smoked? It was kind of a blood bath, it
felt it was. It was uncomfortably we really rocked them.

(15:37):
I had one really dumb answer, Well, what happens is
after the first after the most obvious ones get up there,
now you're down to like, what did one random three
random people say out of one hundred? It's very hard
to guess what that is. I didn't read and so
you your brain goes, okay, these are the three things
I can think of would be the answer? What's the

(15:58):
and then you just and then there're Steve Harvey looking
at you. You don't want the timer to run out,
and you just kind of blurt out what comes to
your mind, and mine was so bad. Well at least
you didn't, you know, say that an alligator, I'll help
you get the zoo. California as a city and an
alligator would help you get out of this. It didn't matter.
It didn't matter because Los Angeles was the answer. I

(16:19):
just have to tell you that moment, when we're waiting
for that number to appear on the Fast Money, that
was one of the most exciting moments of my entire life,
was seeing that you being like Los Angeles put it
on the board and just being like, we need thirty
eight points, and then forty four pops up. Oh my god,
that was the best. You know. I was like, thank God,

(16:44):
I'm not gonna don't think we're gonna I didn't think
we're gonna win. Towards the end when we got to
Fast Money, I didn't think we were gonna win because
I just didn't think we had enough points. And then
when we won, oh, I was so happy. Oh hell yeah.
You both had great Fast Money rounds. I mean, I
know there was we had two good answers in the
Fast Money around, But that's all. What was the one
I blanked on? I forgot there was one I didn't

(17:04):
get at all. Oh, I don't know, man, I wish,
but it was. What's funny is that everybody who's watching
this is like, I just watched it. How do they not?
I know, we haven't watched it because we're recording this
before we before it's been aired. But I'm gonna watch
it with my family. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna.
That's my family's gonna be in town be. I think
it was the question like what in what would you

(17:26):
describe as like a rack or something right? And that
was another one that I got wrong. I said, car,
you said, and then underneath my breath I said, I
should have said my life. And that was the number
one answer. Car was still a good answer. Car was
a great answer, but it was like I didn't even
get anything out. I didn't get anything out. But that
was very surreal and um, and we got we won.

(17:48):
It was a twenty five thousand dollars five thousand dollars
for stop AP. I hate for Stop AAP, I hate UM.
So I feel very good that we get to give
that money to them, and um, gosh, fun was had
by all. It really was. Steve Harvey is glorious in person.
Daniel got to make Steve Harvey do the side I love. Oh, yes, Daniel.

(18:10):
I was so jealous that Daniel was the only member
of the team that got to give him the Steve
Harvey look away. I just want to see what that.
You know that Bill never got to go to the podium.
That's true, Yeah, because he was our fifth because he
was really he was our closer. He was our closer.
But we need a closer because we killed I loved
having Bildun all right, should we? Um? Enough is enough?

(18:33):
Bob six seven eight about show we made about a
bunch of dots and nurses stories, so dad around yea,
an m I was quite a preamble. But we just

(18:59):
love each other so much. We have so much to say.
Do you guys want to go to Disneyland? Yes? Yes
I do. Donald and I were thinking about taking you're
like our kids. We were thinking about taking you guys
to Disneyland. Yay. How long are we saying? I'm coordinating
with Donald's assistant Casey, and um, that's my wife. I know,

(19:22):
not the time, I know that's why we're going to
work out a plan. Hold on, hold on, hold on, No, No,
we don't have the theme song yet. Already come here.
She said, she's having a bad day. You're having a
bad day. Yeahs are crazy. I'm sorry's out. School's out.

(19:43):
Shit sucks motherhood. School's out. Shit sucks motherhood. You know
that I wrote a theme song for you. I don't
know if Donald told you. No. I wrote because you be.
I'm a recurring guest on the show and we often
call upon you for parenting advice. I wrote a little

(20:05):
theme song that we're gonna we're gonna introduce into the
show for when we call you onto the show. Oh,
I love it. And then Donald's Donald is gonna gonna
lay down the void the vocal track. Oh shit, it's
gonna be good. Okay, it's good. It's fine. You're not
gonna You're not gonna read it to me right now? No,
because I don't want to sing it, because I want
it to be produced and awesome. When you first hear

(20:27):
your theme song, okay, um, are you okay? It sounds
like your kids are driving you crazy today. Yeah, they're
driving me crazy. I'm surprised y'all are even able to
record with all the screaming going on. I heard the
Donald went outside to be the debt. I heard the
tooth Fairy came through huge. Oh yeah, so huge that

(20:47):
you know she got twenty dollars. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Yeah.
Now you once you set the bar high, you gotta
come through with twenty bucks from lucrative teeth. Well, the
tooth fairy forgot to get change. Yeah. You want to
know what's even more fucked up? Yes, I mean they'll
never hear this. You won't. You can't play this. No,

(21:09):
he already said he can't because we've already been talking
about the tooth Fairy. So I stole twenty dollars out
of their piggy bait. I didn't have any cash. Oh
my gosh, I was over in case you could have
taken twenty words from me. This is what happens when

(21:30):
you lose a tooth after five pm. Oh my, that's
so funny. I was thinking, because I knew you guys.
I was over your house and I was like, do
you guys need cash? You have cash. I can't believe
you had to do that. Yeah, But you know how
it all comes back to her at some point. You know,
I'm sure I wrote a nice letter, and I and
the twenty dollars. I put silver and glitter makeup all

(21:53):
over it. So it love it. It's good mommy. Here's
good mommy. That mom could fly if it had happy thoughts.
All right, well, we love you, We love you well, Sehi,
good to see you, Cassey. We really got to lay
down her theme song. Guys, I'm really feel bad about this.
Love me still, he said, Love me still, she said,

(22:17):
she said sometimes, love me still sometimes. All right, we
should probably talk about the show Scrubs. Bro. Yeah, you know, um,
I guess my wife's not happy with me right now. Well,
I think it'll be okay. I think so too. Someone
did a bit about how they were like the guy's
always upset my woman, what to dude, my my girlfriend

(22:39):
and my wife they're so mad at me, And he's like, okay,
but she won't be later, But she might be. I
think that's always a good pep talk to give yourself
when you get in a fight, like okay, but she
won't be later anyway. All right, let's talk about Scrubs.

(23:02):
Bra My drive by directed by Will McKenzie, Yes and
written by Andrew and written by Angela Nissel. Very funny episode.
I laughed out a lot a bunch of time. It's
very Donald heavy episode of Donald heavy episode. I you know,
I don't know about like the fact that Turk is
trying to be modest this whole episode is some bullshit, Yeah,

(23:25):
because Turk's not. We've established that he's far from modest
this whole But maybe he's just trying to be contrarian
to Cox, who's who's so egotistical in this episode and
so cocky, cocky, cocky that maybe I'm just trying to
rationalize why they did this, But maybe Turk's like, no, no,
I'm not trying to be like you. I'm not trying
to be like you, but yeah, I want to get you.

(23:47):
I don't know Turk is. You know, Turk is kind
of like me in a lot of ways. And so
I know how cocky I am when it comes to
sports and when it comes to knowing sports and stuff
like that, and so the fact that Turk is a
surgeon and that's like his sport pretty much, it doesn't
make sense that, you know, for the whole series, he's

(24:09):
been this cocky little shit head and now all of
a sudden, he's like, I'm going to be modest, right,
I'm not gonna you know, after he performed that emergency
trichy out of me, he would have ran into the
freaking hospital. Yeah, yo, I saved someone. I was on
a line. It was that. The it was that, you
know what I mean, he would have totally gone Yeah,
So you're right. I don't know why. I don't know

(24:30):
why they I mean, they obviously needed that. They wanted
to do a story about ego and doctors and ego
and humans and ego and how our egos control us
um and and so they needed they needed they needed
a yang to Cox's yang. But so maybe that's the
only rational rationalization I came up with it that you
were like that you were just trying to be different

(24:50):
than him and really and broadcasting that you had a
lot less ego than you actually do. I'm guessing. So
I want to get this out of the way right now. Scrubs.
Wicky says, uh that you can see the camera and
the reflection in the balloon. Since when you check scrubs wiki.
When I was today, I was like, let's do a
little bit of extra credit. Let's check out and see
what scrubs. I didn't think you'd ever been on scrubs WI.

(25:13):
I didn't. I just googled because I was looking for
the name of mister Hoffner. I while doing that, it
took me to scrubs Wiki. So I found out that
you can see the camera reflection in the balloon when
Cox is checking his reflection. And also, I don't remember this,
but Johnny Castle broke both of his legs in the

(25:34):
ski accident in real life. Yeah, and so do you
remember this? I didn't remember because when this came up
with him in two casts, I was like, where is
this coming out of nowhere? And and I was like,
it's odd. In the show corpses keep falling on him.
That's a plot point. And I was like what And
then and then I saw and scrubs Wiki that, yeah,
Johnny Castle broke both of his ankles or legs and

(25:57):
his ankles and the ski accident and so they had
to the writers had cutting right it in. So they
wrote in the janitor drawing on his cast and he's
drawing a brothel that I guess the janitor grew up
in a brothel. No, he didn't grow up in a brothel.
His dad took him to a brothel for his fourteenth birthday. Yes,
and he says, I asked for a bike and I

(26:18):
got a forty eight year old horror. Are you saying
odo because we can't say horror anymore? No? No, I mean,
oh shit, no she is. She's saying we can't say
I was saying, oh, because a fourteen year old forty
years A lot a lot is happening in that joke.

(26:40):
Oh my god. Yeah. Well, and then Kelso recognizes the
brothel as drawn on the cast by the janitor, and
the janitor said Johnny Kessel says, I'm gonna get it
off in a week, and he goes, no, I just
put too much work in. You can take them off

(27:00):
in a month. And he's like, oh, I'll talk to
the arthopes. I laughed. Okay, So we know that JD's
having a hard time finding a place to live, and
Turk asking what about that guest house, and you know,
the ladies telling him about the house and the owner
and she goes there. He is right there, and Jad

(27:23):
turns around and the owner staring at him through the window,
sizing me up, sizing him up, and he's like, oh, Yeah,
he'll be per he'll do perfect yeah, and d He's
like perfect for what Yeah, And then a call back
later he's hilarious where you're sitting. That's that's probably the
cleanest the cafeteria window has ever been. Just a funny

(27:44):
bit of trivia for you who love This isn't even
on the Scrubs wiki, but I'm gonna give you guys, Trevor,
you should add this if you if you're a diet
if you're a diard fan of the show, you know
those windows that we always put frost on those windows
because they just we didn't want to deal with seeing out,
even though it was a real hospital and you can
see the road. We always they always had pieces of

(28:04):
they were like, you know, giant pieces of plexi glass
frost they would put in front of those windows to
just not deal with the outside. And oh, I know why.
They would put lights outside there and blast the light
through them, otherwise you'd see them. And in this episode,
all of a sudden, the frost isn't there, and I'm like,
why did Will mackenzie make the unique choice to remove
the frost in this episode? And then I really I
just backed into it. Oh, it's for the joke with

(28:25):
that guy outside the window. That shit had me roll
and your references came in and I go, I didn't
give you any references. That guy is hungry for some
jd ass ears. Um. The thing that I think it
was pretty clear that he wanted he did not want gene.

(28:47):
He wanted he said he wanted my ears. Yeah, I
think he wanted anus. Perhaps. I think, good thing your
kids aren't listening to this episode. Well, on account of
the tooth fairy. On account of the tooth fairy. Um.
Johnny does a great job with his big monologue in
the opening. I mean that monologue must be over a

(29:08):
page loan. He's so good at that. It's a specialty,
those epic long monologues. And he's very funny. He calls
himself Jesus H Cox. Yeah, she goes there. I wonder
how many like religious people are like, oh, well that's
it for me and scrubs. Yeah, I'm sure. And but
luckily they had a Loma to balance them out and

(29:29):
represent them no doubt. Um. I thought it was really
this whole scooter bit with Kelso I thought was so funny,
and I was gonna say that I was like this
is one time where the c storyline probably was the
funniest storyline and the whole show, if you ask me,
every time that scooter was in a scene. First of all,

(29:49):
first of all, Bill used to call when when when
a character who's has a supporting part like like Todd
or or you know, anyone who he would call their
lines sort of like drive bys, meaning meaning they would
kind of keep walking say a line and walk out
like a like a like a drive by. And so
this episode's called My drive by because Kelso has all

(30:10):
these hilarious lines as he's quite literally driving by on
the scooter, and I think, you know Kelso was I
think Bill just kind of leaned into the idea that
Ken was amazing at doing sort of drive by jokes,
and so this episode is he's saying the funniest shit
as he's literally driving by on the scooter. It was great.

(30:30):
I thought the janitor also stealing the scooter and then
painting it was hilarious. And then at the end when
j D found the scooter and the trash can and
he's driving through the hallway and he literally says, doing
a gangster lean. Yeah, I don't think Jad knows what
a gangster lean is. I know he'd probably seen it
in rap videos or something, but I thought that when

(30:51):
I drive that thing into the cart of all this stuff,
I laughed out loud. Man, I'm such a sucker for
a physical comedy. I just I don't necessarily know what
a gangster linas. I just know that it was from
that song. This one's for my homemade see you win.
I get there in that gangster lean, and that gangster lean,

(31:12):
I thought a gangster lean, And forgive me for being naive.
It's what I was just when we were framing up
the shot of you in the car yesterday. It's when
sort of one hand up with a big lean, with
a big lean back, the seat is all the way
low and back. That's what I remember seeing the rap videos.
That's like if you're in a car and you're But
I don't know if that's what a gangster lein is.
We should ask rub was wiki. Maybe that doesn't he

(31:33):
doesn't know. We should have a segment called aska gangster
You don't want that smoke, Dug, you don't want that smoke?
All right? Well, all I'm saying is I thought gangster
len was a thing in the car like like when
like in Boys in the Hood, when they would like
put the seat all the way in Boys in the Hood.
Listen to him. I love that movie. That move a

(31:54):
massic film. This is amazing. Yeah, it's amazing. I mean
that is directed by the late great John Singleton. I
watched mud mud Bound? Is that the movie, Joell I
was talking you yesterday about? Yeah? Oo, if I had
never seen it, that that is powerful movie. Yes, it is.

(32:15):
If you're looking for right, no, no, no, no, you're
thinking of just mud de Reese. Is that the filmmaker? Yes, yes,
this is Mary J. Blige and Carry Mullig. Mary J. Blige.
I didn't know Mary J. Blige could act like that.
She's wonderful movie. And m Carrie Mulligan. It's very good,
beautifully photographs, very upsetting. But if you like a dark

(32:37):
drama like I do, check out mud Bound. Can I
say something and not sound like a creep? Yes? Good.
I got a little crush on Carrie Mulligan. Dude, Oh
that's okay, Yeah, who doesn't. She's amazing? Where did your
crush developed from her latest movie? From her latest movie? Yeah?
What was it called? The Um with boll Burnham and Um, yeah,

(32:59):
what's it called Joel? The one? The woman promising? She's
very talented, very very talented. I've always fancied her as
the British say, well I didn't, I shouldn't say. This
is the movie, the movie that really I got a
crush on her. What was the one? Gary Llewellen, whatever
that was it? Gary Davis? Yeah, that's that's a Collen

(33:24):
Brothers movie. Um Llewellen Davis, Yeah, that's You've never seen
Atonement probably, but that's the movie that I first saw.
That's one of my favorite movies. Wild And I don't
want to sound like a creep. So she's a really
good actress. Why can't Why are you sound like a
creep if you say you find an actress beautiful? Because

(33:44):
I'm married, your wife doesn't allow you to say that
actress is beautiful. She'll make me sleep on the couch.
Oh kay, we have to hide this episode from both
your wife and your kids. Now two, it's very for
your kids, and carry mulligan for your wife. Wait, so
let's talk about this Sarah storyline, which is so funny.

(34:05):
Sarah Elliott wants to she likes this guy. He's done
a really great job. By the way, he's very good
Josh Randall as Jake. He's very likable and funny, and
she doesn't want to sleep with him because she wants
She really feels like this relationship has potential and she
doesn't want it to go arrive by sleeping with him
too quickly, and so she keeps trying to ruin the

(34:27):
moment by having someone around me. Yeah. So there are
multiple times where I laughed out loud because they're on
the couch together and then you reveal that I'm there
with them her ex boyfriend. It's the thing that cracked
me up, was like when he was like, I wish
I could have set up front with you, and you said,
you go, well, you should have called shotgun faster. No.

(34:49):
The first time was we're all watching a sexy movie together. Movie, Yeah,
with Kathleen Turner. What's that movie? A body heat? I
never see body heat, but I guess it's a steamy movie.
And you go, Kathleen Turner has my nerves, nerves nerves.
I never First of all, is that a move that
people really do, like put on a sexy movie to

(35:10):
like get turned on. I don't think I've ever done
that with it that never works, that never works, you
put it. I don't know. Let's let's Netflix and chill
and watch nine and a half weeks. Like I've never
been someone you watch something that you are not gonna watch.
You don't put on a good movie. If you're gonna
Netflix and chill, you put something on that. I know,
but let's watch John carter Um. Well, I just think

(35:37):
it's funny. I know, I know Body Heat is a
sexy movie. I've never seen it, but I think it's
funny that that's what we've all chosen to watch, the
three of us. But what about then later at the
end when they finally start making out and like she
mounts him and he's like grabbing her ass, and then
you cut. I'm in the corner and it's like, I
guess I should get going. I mean, can you imagine

(35:58):
this was real? And I'm really her ex boyfriend and
I'm just sitting there and watching the make out. It's
like so weird. But I laughed really hard at Elliott
being able to swallow her whole fist. Now, why is
that kidding me? Are you kidding me? No? You know
the Fallacio thing, But isn't the Fallacio thing. I'm gonna
say this, so PG you guys just wait watch this.
The falacio thing to me, um is related to the throat,

(36:23):
not the physical mouth. I don't understand why turned on
because if you could fit a fist down your throat,
she doesn't fit it down the throat. She puts it
in her. Everyone's turned on by the no she says
she can swallow her fist. I thought it was she
could fit her whole fist. No, she could swallow her
You guys are like, you guys like the actual words

(36:45):
of the thing is she can and she's like yeah,
and guys are all like, this is hilarious that all
of the guys are like, there's no way she could
do it. I don't think. I don't believe she could
do it. First all, everyone appears out of nowhere, No funny,
everyone just appears. And then and then we all as
a group, as like a choreographed group of dancers, we

(37:07):
all move in close. I was confused by it because
I don't understand why room was so impressed that she
could fit a fist. And no, it's because she can
swallow it. Okay, so she could swallow a fist. I
can't believe that we got we got a fallacio. No,
we got a deep throat joke. We got deep throat

(37:28):
joke on on on NBC Prime Time. You try to
keep it, but no, that's what NBC. I don't. I
something tells me, um that NBC probably wouldn't air a
deep throating joke today. Why not? You're missing out NBC, NBC,
it's what the people want, NBC. Um, we learned that

(37:50):
when Sarah's Sarah's form of sex is uh to be
on top with her eyes closed, yelling don't look at me. Oh,
and then she tells Judy Carla that sex is disgusting
and then Carla's like, no, Carline goes, Carlin goes, yeah

(38:11):
it is, and then she looks at turcause she's like,
it's not. But first of all, there were all these
episodes where JD and Elliot were together seemingly having some
pretty passionate sex. So I don't I don't understand why.
Maybe this maybe, but JD's the one that reveals her
go to position. I know, but I don't understand. Elliott
in those makeout scenes seem to be an exciting, fun lover. Yeah,

(38:35):
but then the clothes come off. And then she's not.
Oh that's why her clothes are on. Okay, you're saying
the second she's naked, she's all good up until she's naked.
All right, Now she's the type of girl that has
sex with her T shirt on. Yes, but I mean
when she pushes Jake in her whole hallway. For those

(38:56):
of you like funny trivia, we see that the door
is a very super wide hospital door. It's meant to
be an apartment building, but it's so clearly the hospital
that someone painted the door because it's like wide enough
for a wheelchair. Giant hospital door. How about when the
fucking janitor licks the skid mark from the scooter and
can taste it, and he goes four. Please, he's in

(39:18):
the elevator. He can tell by the skid mark the
screws on the fourth floor. Oh how about Okay, we
didn't talk about this, the fact that the guys and
then Jordan and Cox bet on old people walking down

(39:41):
the hall as a race. Yeah, like it's a race. Yeah,
you gotta liven up the boring time at the hospital.
I hear that man racing. Um, how about first of all,
the guy that you save with the tracheotomy is Jared
who was our office PA at the Times. Yes, I
think it's his second cameo on the show. Um, let

(40:04):
me see what else he went from, like he's a
producer now like full fledge. Right, yeah, well this was
so many years ago. I hope that he would do.
But it's just interesting. It's well, you know, some people
don't climb the ladder and some people stay pretty stagnant
and right, if one was still a PA after twenty
years in Hollywood, things really went awry. There's something wrong, dude,

(40:24):
if you're still a let me shut up, because I'm
sure there's a life for PA out there. There are
life for PA's. But I bet those life for PA's
wish they weren't PA's. Oh absolutely, I'm sure of it.
It's really well, here's the thing though, this game, the
PA and AD game, really has a lot to do

(40:47):
with people hooking you up to like, you know, that's
something that is a real deal holy field to get
from set PA from from base camp PA to set
PA to you know, but it's a meritocracy. If you
are a bad asset what you're doing, you you will
people will keep hiring you and you'll keep getting promoted,
and then you get in the Union, and then you

(41:09):
can climb if you if you so choose to go
the assistant director route, you can climb up in the DGA.
And but isn't it like twenty years as an ad
before you can actually direct or anything like that unless
somebody hooks you up. Well, as we know in Hollywood,
there's no there's absolutely no set path for anything. And
I find that most people that go the assistant director
route don't normally go the director route. They I always

(41:32):
thought that you become an assistant director to to learn
how to direct and to be able to direct that.
And I thought that's what that was, just like in
the camera thing you go. I'm surprised you think that,
because it's very often a different part of the brain.
It's a it's an organizational um sort of conductor of
time and people thing as opposed to the creative side

(41:55):
of directing. Well, that's a good question to ask out there,
you guys. Can you know? I'm sure if you are
an assistant director and you're listening to this, you can
comment on both of our Instagram I don't mean, I
don't mean, of course, that there aren't assistant directors with
aspirations to become directors. But it but it isn't it
isn't a traditional uh route to go. Okay, Like somebody

(42:17):
said to me, I just want to direct and they
wear an a D. And I was like, well, why
don't you just why didn't you go to school for directing? Man?
I'st the case. Well you can. You're definitely right next
to the director all the time, and you can watch
and and I just find that, Um, it's sort of
being an assistant director is is a different part of
the brain than than the creative part of directing. It's

(42:40):
it's it's it's people that are so skilled at organizing
and and and and schedule. Yeah. I guess so because
people because you go from a D to UPM usually
right I you go that way or some some eventually produce. Um,
but a lot of people become career first ads. It's
you can make a really good living. You you actually
get um, you actually get residual as a first ad.

(43:02):
My buddy is the first ad on all the Bond movies,
and um, I'm sure he makes a very nice living. Um.
So the bigger the project and the more residuals that
are evolved, you actually get a cut. So it's a
very respectable and very hard but rewarding job. All right,
let's talk about the television show Scrubs. Donald, let's go

(43:23):
to break. Okay, to break right back after these words,
and we're bad right now. I am so back. I
laughed out loud and wrote the letters L l at

(43:45):
you doing the victory dance on the counter. Did you
when you learned that next year was not a leap year?
And you were right? And off camera we see, we
hear that you've left from a standing position onto the counter.
Turk has a dance that he does when he's correct,
when he's right. I love that. Turk also has a

(44:05):
very big what do you call it when you can
jump high from us from without a run hops? He
has hops, ups or hops same thing. But would you say, oh, man,
Donald has big ups. I don't know, but you could
big up somebody or big up to the oh I
mean he got hops or he got leaps, he can

(44:26):
leap or she could leave. In the basketball world, when
you're training, um, you definitely want to develop your ability
to jump high without a without a run step. I imagine, Yeah,
that's your vertical. Yeah, your vertical your vertical leap. Turk
has a very good vertical leap. He has a Yeah,
it's probably forty two inches. I imagine forty two fifty

(44:48):
something like that. He could probably dunk a basketball when
he was younger. Yes, like you, just like me. Yeah,
just like junk when I was younger. Yeah, let's talk
about the gall bladder. And yes, that one friend Stoller.
The man could just read the alphabet and I'm giggle.
He's so funny. He made me laugh. Really, he makes

(45:08):
me laugh really hard. Uh. And it all goes back
to no, you the chicken a chicken? No, but you
the chicken. Yeah. Well, now he doesn't know if he
wants his gallbladder out. Cox is tired of explaining them.
He wants you to come in cocky and confident, and
you're just being contrarian and saying, no, I canna do that.

(45:29):
That's not me right now, he says. I'm Turk says
I'm capable. When asked, are you a good surgeon? I'm capable?
Are you a good surgeon? That's how you can read this?
Why do I need to go blad? Chicken? You know
the chicken chicken? Friend Stoller. Very funny man, very funny. Um,

(45:56):
Now Kelso built a ramp on the roof. Yeah, now
did anyone help him? Or was Kelso up there building
the ramp? I mean it's it's got I must have
some structural integrity because a very heavy scooter is gonna
drive up it. Yes, he didn't just lean a piece
of ply with I mean he built a ramp. Do

(46:20):
you think Ted built a ramp? Yeah, that would have
been funny. They should have cut to Ted hammering it.
But the janitor has figured out his plan and um,
and parks Kelso's car. They really dropped that scooters through
that that car. Yeah, most of our effects are practical
on scrubs, almost all. I mean, what are you thinking of?
It wasn't practical occasional screening, but yeah, that's what I'm saying.

(46:42):
There's an occasional green screen thing or you know. But
that was the finest show is that it was all
like real, like they just would bring in a crane
and just drop a fucking scooter through a car, Like right, Like,
how do how do you explain that to Disney and
or NBC? Well, there's this stunt that we're gonna that
we have well, okay, well, how are you going to

(47:03):
do that? We're just gonna drop up and there was
gonna do it. I think that was one of the benefits.
And we talked about this in the in the car
ride uh yesterday, But one of the benefits to being
on our own back lot, which was just the hospital,
was we gotta do whatever we wanted. You know, if
you do that kind of thing on a lot, you
probably need a lot more permission to do the stuff
that we were doing. But we would just do it.

(47:24):
I mean, if it was in the budget, we would
do it. Didn't For Christmas one year, we built a
giant snow mount so people could sled down that shit.
It sounds right, right. I just remember that the mean
going in in the Wizard of Oz episode mean going
into the scooter into the puddle and appearing in the
next puddle. That was That was Randal always said that

(47:45):
was the most expensive stunt ever. What about didn't they
build a sand castle and new Yeah? And Bill Bill
told that story right that they misunderstood how big he
wanted it. So when he showed up there was a
full size Livabill sand castle. He's like, uh. And they

(48:06):
never changed it to be a fantasy. It was. It
was a livable sandcastle. Dou so. Um. The janitor has
all these keys, but he's lost one to the mental
health ward and um, and there's a man walking around
in a doctor's coat smoking a gavel. I'm telling you

(48:37):
right now this show is made for Stoner's man. Oh
my god, it's so funny. It definitely pairs nicely with
jazz cabbage, but it doesn't kettle see something like was
he smoking? And then jazz was like I believe so?
And then later when the scooter goes off the ramp,
he appears on the roof and just watches with them

(48:57):
smoking in the cattle. The fuck did he get a gavel? Whap?
What did you think about it? What a funny thing.
A gavel is like a ceremonial hammer that you bang
on the table for order, for order, And why why
is there one? Why did the hospital have a gavel?

(49:19):
I don't know. He's smoking a gavel? So I believe so, oh,
I get it as others. An assisted five for Todd
probably the only assisted five right now. I understand why
Todd and you are like occasionally doing cosmetic surgery. I
don't think that's very accurate to medicine. Well, it would
be accurate if that's all the Todd did, because that

(49:42):
makes sense. But this is makes to be like a
city hospital. And I just don't understand why you guys
are occasionally This is like the second or third time
there's been a breast augmentation joke with the Todd And
I'm like, yeah, I don't know much about medicine, but
I think that's a specific Todd goes. Right, if he
goes into private practice, we know what his private practice

(50:03):
would be. He would be like hed penis enlargements, jugs,
anything to do with enlarging genitalia and breasts or not
just that, or the removal of genitalia. I don't think
he would do that. He wouldn't be he wouldn't know,
he wouldn't want to do removals. You know, right, why

(50:23):
would you want to get rid of this perfectly good,
perfectly beautiful. Don can I have it? Since you're getting
rid of it? Hey, well you know it must hurt
so much to have your penis removed. Well, come on, man,
you don't know you're under Probably No, I don't mean

(50:45):
you're not under I'm just saying even if you're happy
that you've gotten it removed, because it's your choice, I
would imagine there's a lot of pain for a while
a half. Yeah, yeah, should be painful. And did they
remove the penis and then let it heal before they
construct the vagina or to instructed out of the out

(51:09):
of the penis so it's all one full swoop. Yeah,
I just think I mean, I'm glad people are getting
what they want, but I just imagine that would be painful.
I'm holding my penis because it sounding like it hurts
as we're discussing it. Where did the balls go them out? Yeah?
You don't keep your balls with your new vagina, although

(51:29):
that would be awesome. Do you think there's anyone who's
ever said, like, leave the balls. I'm sure this is
a desire for everything in someone out there, so right,
so someone someone someone's particular desire was leave the sack.
Give me a v gene. Now, if I'm correct, we

(51:52):
don't have to keep this in. But is that what
queer is? Then? Where it doesn't matter what the sexuality,
I mean, doesn't matter an umbrella term queer. Everybody fits
under the queer umbrella. A few of the lgbt QI
a spectrum. You can consider yourself queer anywhere on the spectrum,
you're anywhere. So that's a way for people to say, like,
I don't even know exactly where I fall or what

(52:13):
I like, but I'm under the umbrella I'm queer. I
like queer because it doesn't leave everybody out and it's
not a bunch of letters that are frequently evolving, which
is fair, fair and fine and good for the community,
I think. But queer a is just a catchall and
I like it right, So, Joel, I'm actually interested in
this does because it does feel like it's evolving all
the time. Does the gay community approve I know, gets

(52:36):
to what giant community approves of everything, but does the
most part, do they approve of the umbrella term queer
or do they prefer lgbt Q, etc. A lot of
people in my generation are very comfortable with the word queer.
There are some older guys who are not comfortable with
it because it was used as mostly a slur as
they were It doesn't feel good to them to reclaim it,

(52:58):
in the same way that some older black people don't
like to reclaim the N word because they don't feel
comfortable with it. Uh, it just sort of depends. I'm
not sure what the high gen z ears. Please tell
me how you guys feel about it. I'm not sure
how the babies feel. Um, they're on a whole new
wave in category of the queer umbrella. They're they're just
like gender, why why are just stupid? I agree with

(53:22):
that the young people, young people in the world alike,
you know what, let's just throw out all gender period
and just say, you know, they them or whatever it is. Whereas, uh,
it seems like and we were so defined by it,
like yeah, that's all these things like we are. I

(53:45):
I very firmly and assist female category of being. But
you know, it's been really revolutionary for me to watch
a lot of my friends who formerly identified as female
being like you know who who als also did never
like growing up or like I don't feel like well
I'm not telling not a dude, but like I don't
feel like a woman, and what is that? That's so weird?

(54:05):
And there were so much confusion and stressed around like
how am I supposed to reject this gender that doesn't exist?
It's weird and they felt weird about it, and so
now for them to just be like, no, oh, I'm
non binary. Great, like, uh, it's really wonderful, like watching
these people blossom under a term that helps them. Of
course it must be. It must be so free it's
like totally disrupting the entire conversation about about having to

(54:27):
be one or the other. I must be so freeing.
I'm for people. I'm watching so many people bloom and
blossom into like the very comfortable, like a very comfortable
space of themselves, which is really wonderful. So, yeah, now
CIS means what stereotypically one gender or cis with and
to identify as. Yeah, you're learning, Yeah, on the out word.

(54:53):
I've learned of quite a few terms that exist out there.
Cyst was one of them. Sis, sorry, CIS was one
of them. What does what does CIS stand for? I
don't Yeah, I just wonder what the origin of the word.
The prefix sys means on the same side as So

(55:13):
while people who are transgender move across gender's, people who
are cis gender remain on the same side of the
gender they were initially identified at as birth. Okay, so
I would be SIS, you would be a SIS man
if that's how you feel today, I do. Hell yeah,
they change the guests is here. By the way, this

(55:33):
conversation is fascinating. I'm gonna keep it one hundred with y'all, like, like,
this is something that I wish everybody would have would
converse about so that they could totally understand and you know,
at least voice voice some sort of you know understanding,
because this is this is the way it's moving, you know,

(55:57):
and if you're not going to get on the train,
you're gonna get hit by it. Well. And also it's
a matter of respecting what people what makes people happy
that it's no reflection on you or no, it doesn't,
it doesn't. It doesn't hurt you at all to know
what people would like to be called. And it's so
freeing for people, and it costs you nothing to give

(56:20):
people your respect. That's right. Oh, I really didn't even know,
Like I I've heard the terms, but I'm still getting
educated and I have a lot of gay friends. I'm
but I feel like it changes all the time, and
I feel like it's quickly and constantly evolving community. And
so I feel like I know a lot of people
feel like a ton of shame and they're like, I

(56:40):
don't know or I'm too afraid, but like, don't be
afraid because for the most part, people under the umbrella
are like very welcome. You can ask questions and they're
just like, listen, we're learning, you're learning. We as I
asked a gay friend one of one of these questions
and he was like, I don't even know, he goes,
that's changing every day and um, and and the young

(57:03):
folks might have a different answer than I would have,
kind of like what you said, Joelle. So it's uh,
it's it's it's evolving. It feels um every day, right, Yeah.
I think as long as you're trying to learn and
being open and then respectful when people, you know, that's
the most important. That's the most important thing, you know.
And and it's really easy to be respectful. It's the

(57:26):
easiest thing on the planet, you know what I mean,
one of the easiest things on the planet. Yeah, what
if it doesn't cost you anything, even if you you know,
even if your instinct is to roll your eyes at something,
it doesn't cost you anything to give someone another fellow
human respect. Amen. Amen? Should we have the caller in
and take a break real quick? We took a break already,
we took a break. Don't we need another break? I

(57:47):
need a break to pea. We'll be right back. This
sis man is going to go pee. I'll be right
back and we're bad back again. I'm gonna hit a
random key on the on the pad. I don't know
what this one does. Let's see will take forever? I

(58:11):
knew it. This is one I haven't hit in a while.
I don't know what it is. What you're trying to
get into one? Damn sho? What you're trying to do
that song? Anytime my wife's phone rings, guess what it is? That? Yeah?
What we forgot all ringtones? We haven't. We haven't told
people that the ring tones are out in a very
long time. If you're a new listener, you can get

(58:31):
the ring tones the ringtone on the iTunes store, right chel. Yeah,
what you're trying to get into our day will shoom?
What you're trying to do is my wife's ring tone? Yeah,
that's so cute. Now, I know our interview at two thirty,
So we gotta get the calls, get to go and
get in Washington Post. We can't be laid for the
Washington Post on don't I can't tell the troll lame

(58:53):
now with their name is never right. Give it up
for never, I never write, it's Neiva but high. Let
me say that again. Give it up for Neva right. Um,

(59:17):
it's a funnier name. If it's never right, it is funnier.
My stepdad likes to tease me and call me never right.
We won't. We won't tease you here because we Your
stepdad's a dick for that. Yude only sometimes. But I'm
sure that's come up in your life. We're not very
original with our humors, so I'm sure it's come up before. Well,

(59:39):
it's my married name, so it's only been the past
five years that be never right? Well were you never before?
I was? I was never asked was never never writes better? No,
I'm just where are you calling from? Never right? Where
are you calling from? Neva Wright? It's I'll respond to anything. Hey, you,

(01:00:01):
I'm here for it. You I'm coming. I'm from Gray's Lake, Illinois,
so it's about an hour north of Chicago. I went
to the Harvard of the Midwest Evanston, Illinois Northwestern University.
I heard. I'm currently working at Northwestern Hospital downtown Chicago.
So nice, What do you do at the hospital. I'm

(01:00:22):
a ice a nurse. Whoa do you want to tell
them why? You wrote in? Yeah? Absolutely so. Um. I've
been a huge fan of the show since, like I
was in high school, prior to being in the medical field. UM,
I watched it like on I when I had my
first apartment, I didn't have there's no streaming services. I
was young, there's no cable, So I watched it frontwards

(01:00:44):
backwards with commentary behind the scenes. Like when I was younger,
I could tell you what line came from which season
and like which episode. I'm old and my brain doesn't
work anymore, so I don't know that anymore. O. Um.
But actually in March, I lost my job and I
with all this newfound freedom our time. I was super devastated.

(01:01:05):
But I watched Scrubs over again, and as I'm watching
the show, like all these lessons that you guys learned
through doctor Cox and through the hospital really super resonated
with me. Be like, you know, like losing patients, like
that episode where doctor Cox loses all three of the patients.
Like I was literally crying because I've been in that
situation where I've gone home and I'm like you know

(01:01:29):
I always joke, especially like during the pandemic, that I'd
have a beer in my shower after every shift, like
it's my shower beer because I couldn't. It was super
hard to like get through this past year and like
the cherry on top was losing my job in March.
But you guys truly, truly truly helped me moved past
and like those lessons that you guys taught us and

(01:01:54):
it really helped me to move forward. Wow, thank you
so much. Now, why did you lose your job in March?
If if did something happen because there's such a need
for nurses, right, Yeah, I mean there was a mistake there.
I had made a mistake. It got brought up to
upper management and an investigation everything was had and it

(01:02:16):
was determined that I was too much of a liability.
It's like it's really really frustrating because I gave like
it was my dream job. Like I worked there for
eight years. I was a nice you nurse for four
and a half. The last year like so March of
last year. Sorry I'm gonna start crying. Um, okay, we're
March of last year. I actually moved out of my

(01:02:38):
house and went to a hotel for forty something. I
lived in like six hotels for forty something days during
the beginning of the pandemic because I have kids and
my mother in law was here watching my kids while
I was at work, and there was so much unknown
about the virus that I didn't want to bring it home.

(01:02:58):
I didn't want to be the reason in that anyone
in my household got sick. So I made that choice
to leave. UM. I love what I do so much,
and with such a passion that I left. I went
to a different sister hospital and worked with their really
sick as patients or something called ECMO where it's heart
lung bypass. I know about that because our friend was

(01:03:19):
on m from Amanda's husband, Nick Cordarrel. Yeah I think
I saw that. Yeah, So I helped with that. UM
like it was. It was just super devastating because if
you ask any one of my co workers, I was
like the person that you asked for for anything. I
was on so many committees at the hospital and one

(01:03:41):
mistake efter year of such hardship and they're like, Nope,
you're too much of a liability. Isn't there a isn't
there a union? Did the union help you at all?
Nurses don't have unions. There's um in California. In California,
nurses have unions. UM like, there's a few, Like the
VA hasn't our nursing in, but we don't have a
nursing in. Well, are you able to even though you

(01:04:06):
got out of that hospital, are you since you're so
passionate about this and it's such a hard career, are
you able to? Were you able to find a job
in an other place? So I found a job with
something that was really passionate about, and it would be
have to be in collaborative like something called Gift of Hope.
So when you donate your or when your found brain
dead and you donate your organs, I would go in

(01:04:27):
and make sure that those organs were viable to be
used for that next patient. And so i'd have to
go back into my old ICU. It would be in
collaboration with it wouldn't be working for But apparently someone
from my old ICU told my new job and so
they prescinded their offer. And so now I'm doing a

(01:04:50):
travel nurse job. So I'm basically just kind of filling
in where they need help and So my first assignment
was at Northwestern, so I live about an hour and
a half away. So on my drive in and on
my drive home, I listened to your Guys podcast and
it keeps me awake because I worked nightshift. Um so
I just came off of three in a row. Um,
I worked nightshifts. So as I'm driving home, you guys

(01:05:12):
are like cracking me up and keeping me awake on
my drive home. Also, I'm so loud, aren't I ye loud? Wait?
Do you hear the names he calls me on the
coming up episode? It's just horrible. Well, we we've learned
not to call you a whimp, Donald Payson, so I
will mix that. You don't call me a whimp. We

(01:05:34):
can call you a motherfucker, but not a whimp. Yeah,
don't call me a whimp. I'm telling you this because
your episode has an air. But last week's episode he
called me twat ears. Oh sorry, even get that out
without racking up. It's been really sticking in me. I

(01:05:59):
find myself looking in the mirror at my ears and
seeing if they look like vaginas. Good thing we have
an ICU nurse here. She can tell me if my
ears truly look like vaginas. I've seen them in all
shapes and sizes. Umt you have vaginas or ears both? Well? Okay,
um wait now I want to help you. I wish

(01:06:22):
there was a way we could strategize with you. And
unless you don't want to do anymore, it sounds like
you do get back as an ICU nurse. Isn't there
a way to do that? I mean, I'm currently an
ice you nurse at Northwestern, okay, and you're doing night
share there. Yeah, so I as as a travel nurse.
You tell them like your expertise and and you know,
and then they just hire you for like an eight

(01:06:43):
week contract, so I you know, like I'm so I'm
there for eight weeks in the ICU, UM and then
I can go. Sometimes they extend your contract at that
same ICU. At least you're at least you're not at
least I'm not just saying a game. At least I that,
of course, but I'm not just saying this. I love Northwestern,
but it is a very very very very good hospital.
So that's cool that you're at such a fancy place.

(01:07:06):
But in the game and you didn't give up. That's
the bet that's the that's the that's the real deal. Holy,
of course, absolutely, And I bet you're not. I assume
you aspire to find a great hospital that's closer to
your house. You have to drive that far, right, right,
I mean I'm not sure. Yeah, I'm kind of like
in limbo, like not sure where I want to go next.
I'm in school right now, also for my nurse practitioner,

(01:07:27):
so I have two years left until i'm there. So
I'm kind of like, do I want to stick with
this travel gig because the money is insane and I
can pay for my degree? Because yes, yes, oh so yeah,
so so I didn't know that when you do the
travel nurse thing, because you're you're hopping from gig, it's
almost like being freelanced. The money's a lot better. Oh yeah,

(01:07:49):
I'm getting paid double what I was at my other
high You buried the lead. That's nice, right, But like
my other hospital was paying for my degree, like my
master's degree, so now I have to find a way
to pay for it. So it's kind of like the
job that I was. You're spending your own money now

(01:08:11):
whereas before you weren't get which is which is like
the whole reason I started. I was going to wait
a little bit to get my nurse practice, sure, but
now you know, I was like, oh, well they're paying
for it. Who knows how that much longer they're going
to be able to pay for it, And so I
was like, yeah, sure, let's do it. And then now
I have to pay for it. At least I got
a year worth of them paying for it. But I'm

(01:08:33):
still paying off my undergrad which sucks. But well, I
just want to say, I can't think of I can't
think of a more heroic job. I mean to me an,
I see you, nurse. I've been around them both with
my father and my sister and of course Nick, and
you know, I'm I'll plug a Manda's book here. A
man has written a book that's coming out called Live

(01:08:54):
Your Life, which is her story, and I'm halfway through
it and it's beautifully written. And I mean, when you
with the second you said you were at I nurse,
I just thought of the book because you see in
this how how beautifully she was treated by them, and
how lovingly and caring they were to her whilst simultaneously
trying to keep, however, many people alive who were at

(01:09:17):
that store, and just the the compassion they showed for her,
um and and the love they shared for her, and
um they would set up an iPad so that so
that she could talk to to Nick every single day,
and you know, little too big things and everything in between.

(01:09:38):
So I have such a soft place in my heart
for I just find that job to be so taxing.
You must have you must have days where you come
home and you can't believe what you just witnessed, and
you just have to have your shower beer. Yeah, it
sound looks like you're having your shower beer outside of
the shower. Now is that is that you're sitting on
the couch after the shower beer. Well, I this is
my m I woke up my midday nap beer. Right,

(01:10:02):
do you have to go back tonight or no? No?
Three of three is enough. So I'm off for two
days and then I work for two more. So well,
we are here to make you laughing and cheer you up.
Is given questions related to the show, we can ask you,
we can answer for you. I do so my question. Um,
like I said that there's a lot of lessons that

(01:10:25):
resonated with me and that I still like kind of
think about even as I'm doing my job. Now, are
there any questions that doctor Cox or you know, the
hospital taught you guys that you guys have, Oh, absolutely
continue to remember throughout your your year. You said questions,
but I think you mean lessons, right, Yeah, I'm gonna
tell you something right now. I'm gonna tell you something
right now. I know that analgesic goes in your mouth

(01:10:48):
and that's your ass. Yeah, because the show very important
lesson to learn. I mean, it could pretty much work
the same because you have mucus membranes that'll dissolve it,
absorb it. Yeah, but it's not as comfortable as swallowing it.
It is not as comfortable for sure. But it's like
a sublingual vitamin you might take. If you put it

(01:11:08):
in your anus, it might eventually get into your system, right,
it turns into a suppository at that point. Yeah. I
would just definitely recommend using lots of lube. Yeah, okay, lots.
If you have some problems swallowing pills, lub up your
anus and stick them up there. Now, um no, don't

(01:11:31):
really do that. Um now, well, I have to say,
in rewatching the show, there's lots of I can't. I
don't know that one's coming to mind. But just like
the audience who wasn't a part of the show, you,
I feel like I learned life lessons and it's very
heartwarming and reminds you. It reminds you of the things
that are priorities in your life and what you want

(01:11:52):
to focus on. Friendship and love and love going after
your dreams. I mean, that's the really common themes of
the show, I think the most. The biggest concept of
the whole show. The biggest theme is is friendship and
and the strength of of being in a community with
with people that love you. And I think about that
all the time. Donald No, I answered my question. I

(01:12:18):
answered the question. You know. I'm just saying that you're
a part of my community and I love you. Oh,
I love you too, bro. And and you're twat ears. Oh,
I just want to grab them. I just want to
grab him and too much my ears. Yeah, your headphones off.

(01:12:43):
I just I just can't wait for the day when
somebody leva. Sorry to say this, but I can't wait
for the day when you're walking down the street and
somebody goes, hey, TWA is gonna happens. I'm not like that. Please,
if you see me on the street, don't call me
twenty ears. Look what these guys, it's twenty ears over

(01:13:04):
there and he's like, hey, I want to fuck your ears.
Come in, let me fuck you. And it's funnies. You're like, bro,
calm down, you're saying you want to fuck a man's ears.
Give me those little twenties. I want to come on, Hey,
it's not gay, it's twenties. They're like little vaginas. I'm

(01:13:31):
still sis. I'm still a sis man. I'm still sis.
They're just like, fucking dude. This is all right, we're back.

(01:13:56):
I'm give another question for us. We need to come
down from that. Yeah, we got you laughing. That's all
I care about. Do you have another question for us? Um?
I do so. If you guys weren't actors, what what
else would you guys be doing? Donald, don't do the

(01:14:16):
same joke? Um, what else are you doing for an actors? Donald?
Donald would be a bad animator? An animator? Donald would
be an animator, full stop motion, animated, full time. Um,
I would be a cinematographer. I think because I love
cameras and I love you probably want to answer. There's
nothing to do with entertainment. Are you gonna say? This
is like? Think about Little Zach and Donald, Superman bro

(01:14:42):
not sum think of something. Now, let's both answer if
it's outside the entertainment industry. I can't. I grew up
in theater like everything. Okay, but there is there someone
else career that you go, oh, that's a cool job.
You know you never wanted to be, like a firefighter
or yeah five years cool? Don't no, man, I don't.

(01:15:03):
I don't know. I'm scared to have a Dalmatian. I'm
scared to burn. I would be a firefighter. That's a
cool job. Paramedic. Actually, when I was a kid, I
wanted to be a paramedic. I've told this before, but
I volunteered on our volunteer squad and then the paramedics
would come down from the hospital and I just thought
they were such badasses and so cool and um. I

(01:15:23):
remember there was a time in high school where I
was so I was so clearly on a path to
be an entertainment but I did. I did daydream about
the idea of being a paramedic. I always thought that
was such a cool job, coming to the rescue like
a sup other than Superman and an animator. Those aren't
the job. Those aren't That's okay. You can't think of
anything and no other no, no, nothing outside of being

(01:15:45):
a superhero or no. But that's I think that's why
I am where I am today. There was nothing else.
Like when I was five years old, the one thing
that I wanted to do was be an actor, and
I would tell everybody from that age on, I'm gonna
be an actor when I grow up. And so it's
really hard for me to think of another job that
I would have done. What about a basketball a high

(01:16:05):
school basketball coach? No, okay, I'm just dad. I'm brainstorming
for you. Thank you. I appreciate that, but I'm gonna
stick with what I said before. Okay, there's our answers
for you. That's I also like um architecture and design.
I think that's something that always intrigues me. I really
like designing houses. When you were out here in like

(01:16:28):
the Evanston area, did you ever go on the architecture
towards Chicago, like the boat tour, I didn't, but I
saw people doing it. And that's a really cool thing
to do because there's some amazing buildings in yeah. Yeah, Well,
we're not going to fix your life because we know
what your issue is. But it sounds like you were
on the correct path. You are really um, you didn't
get deterred. I'm sure it was hard and it was

(01:16:51):
a struggle, but it sounds like you're right back on
out there and you got right back on the horse
and you are making even more money than you were. Yeah,
that's that's a right. And most importantly, you have a
clear goal. You said you're going to become a nurse practitioner.
It's so important, I think in life to have a
clear place where you're heading. That's why we were talking
about the white board, because it helps you to like
at least know where you're heading and give yourself a

(01:17:14):
target to aim at. You know, the most important thing
Neva is to forgive yourself. You know what I mean,
that's the most important thing. We all make mistakes. We
don't know what your mistake was, but we all make mistakes,
and you know, it's it's it happens, and so it's

(01:17:34):
very important that you forgive yourself. You know, you don't
need to worry about everybody else. You just keep pushing forward.
And you know, I'm sure, eventually you'll find a way
to correct said mistake, whether it be through triumph or
whether it be literal. Where you are back at the

(01:17:57):
place where you began. And also think of all the
lives that you are saving as as you do this
incredibly heroic job being an ICU nurse. I mean, I
think you guys should wear capes. I think that should
be mandatory. Um So just focus on all the good
that you're doing and all the difference you're making in
the world. And we salute you. If we were in person,

(01:18:19):
we would bow down to you, but we'll just do it. Donald,
do this. I wouldn't bow down, but I'd give you
a salute for Donald. Why can't you do us? Bow
down to no one? You all right before I forget,
before you before I forget? Do you like U kbuch
by any chance? I do? I love well? Thank goodness,

(01:18:39):
because we because you are a hero, and because you
are an amazing human being, we are sending you a
case of GT's kombucha and you will love it. Donald
and I always get very excited when we get a shipment,
and you were about to get the mother load of
amazing different flavors from the good people that tis kombucha

(01:19:01):
and Joel will get all your info and that will
land at your door. And don't let any children or
relatives try and steal them from you, because that's what
happens in Donald's house. He puts them in the fridge
and all the kids take them. My kids, My kids
don't like anything with bubbles in it, So okay, then
you're okay, and you're okay. I know, I don't know
why I did right, but all right, Well that's it.

(01:19:23):
We have to go do an interview with the Washington
Post because we're that fancy Donald. You want to straighten
your t shirt. It's about the podcast Neva. They somehow
the Washington Post wants to interview us. Well, I wish they.
I wish I had a nicer outfit on than this
camel hoodie. But here's what it is, Donald six seven
U show we made about a bunch of dots and

(01:19:45):
nurses stories. Yea, yea, mm hmmm