August 3, 2021 • 57 mins
On this week's episode, Dr. Cox's sister comes to town, and he struggles with her religious ideology. In the real world, we're appreciating the bougainvillea and Zach recounts his legendary interaction with the icon Debbie Allen.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up, guys? What's up friends? What a beautiful day
in southern California. Gorgeous it is. Bogan Villa is popping everywhere.
The what is what? The bogan villa? That beautiful, bright
pink flower you see everywhere, the bogan villa. Yeah, you
(00:22):
never heard that term before. Nope, Bogan Am I saying
it right, guys, Bogan Villa. It's beautiful, It's everywhere. It's
very laws. Desert flowers are the best, which I did
not know until it came out here. The cactus is
the best desert flower. Let's keep it one hundred. That
is a beautiful desert flower to eat in a taco. Yes. Um,
(00:45):
we laid down the Casey song yesterday. We do Oh man, Donald,
we really it's amazing. You've heard took it to the
next level. The finished product from yeaterday's session. I have
not heard yet. I'll get to you as soon as
I receive it. But Donald was doing harmonies, and uh,
(01:07):
it's gonna be amazing. It's gonna be a true work
of art. Ze beat through in a couple of Yeah,
I don't know. She's gonna keep Our friend Jessica Weiss,
who's a blowing up composer. She composed the new Cinderella
movie with Camilla Cabello that's coming out, and she na,
when you come me sin Yati, Yeah, yeah, that's her
(01:32):
and she's um, she's um so talented, Jessica Weiss, and
so I was like, she's so busy. But I was like,
you know, we got other fancy people. So I asked
her to help. I had sort of come up with
the melody and the words. I was the what is that?
I was the songwriter if you will okay? And and
then I brought it to the producer who turned it
(01:54):
into something of a bop. One am I in this situation,
just the art you're the artist. You're like, you know,
you're the pop artist who came in with their talents,
their their voice, their personality, their charm and brought it
to life. Right. I think most people in the world,
in the real world, don't they assume that that these
pop artists wrote the song they sing? Speaking of pop artists, yeah,
(02:20):
are you listening to K pop at all? I don't
listen to any K pop? Please don't know what the
name of that bend that's the How does K pop any?
Oh my god? That them boys been getting me every time,
every time, every time, so I'll be I'll be like,
I'm not gonna like it this time, this time, I'm
not gonna like it, and then it comes on a
(02:42):
by the end of it, I'm like smooth like butter
so good it is. Yeah, I have never I don't
think I've ever heard a BTS That one's my favorite.
I've heard that one. I've heard that that Dynamite song.
That one gets me every time a robot algorithm figured
(03:06):
out exactly what you want to hear. Is this theory
or I mean, is this conspiracy theory or is this No,
I'm just saying, like, you know, uh, there's there's a formula,
not that it always works, but there is like a
computer formula of writing a hooky pop song, right sure.
I mean there's definitely you know, there's standpson and you know,
(03:29):
tried in true practices that make a pop hit. But
the talent of that group is is definitely unrivaled at
the moment. They're all really super talented. Okay, it's a
it's a super group. Dynamite that night. Well, Donald was
laying down the tracks yesterday and I really felt like
(03:51):
Puffy I was in the back of her studio on
the couch. I had my hands like this, like thinking
and rubbing my chin and um. When he was a
little bit pitch she I would turn to her and
give her the look like I need auto tune on
that one. And then you and then you were like,
all right, let me get on the track. Then I
want yeah, And just like a normal producer, I was like,
(04:12):
how can I be on the track? Should I say?
Should I say another one? That's very puffy of you.
That's I'm gonna make sure she at least puts in
one of my ahead. I want her to put in
a that's right, That's right. It's really good though. And Casey.
It's about Casey. So Casey was just bopping her head there.
She was feeling it. It would have been really really
(04:34):
forgot one. We should have did another one, another one,
another one. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm excited to share that
track with you. I can tell you. The funniest thing
that happened to me told I told Donald, But Donald,
you have to hear it again. Oh boy, Donald's making
a face. What happened? I'm not making a face. It's
(04:55):
just you know, I met Lee hold on, hold on,
let me finish before you go into it like, this
doesn't happen to me. I meet these people and they're like, hey,
how's it going, man? But you guy coming next. This
is what happened, which was Zach Well I met. I
was at a restaurant and the meter d of the
restaurant introduced me to Lee Daniels. Yeah. So for those
(05:20):
of you don't know, very very successful filmmaker who you know,
started I think with precious right, and then he meane, uh,
what did he do? Um the Billy Holliday movie, The Butler,
the Paperboy, Empire, um, Lee Daniel Lee Daniel Daniels is
a force of nature due in Hollywood. He found a
(05:41):
way to make the movies he wants to make and
how he wants to make it. Man, and it's you know,
he's also a very funny human being when you hang out.
Oh yeah, he created Empire. He created Empire and uh, anyway,
he's very very, very big deal in Hollywood and a
super talented guy. And I met him briefly just probably
(06:01):
the cocktail party once before. So I shook you know,
I was sitting at a table and made her He said, oh, Zach,
have you met Lee Daniels? And I turned around and
we both kind of smiled each other. I shook his
hand and said, oh, yeah, we briefly before. Nice to
see you. Nice to see you, you know, standard restaurants,
small talk. And Lee Daniels says, oh, hey, have you
ever met Debbie Allen? Oh? No, So I turned I
(06:28):
turned further around to see that he seated with Debbie Allen.
And now I stand up because I'm like, I have
to stand up for you out of respect, because you're
a living legend. And she laughed. She was like, oh,
you're so sweet. You're so sweet. I was like, I'm
such a fan. I was like, I quote you and
she goes, no, you do not, and they go, oh, yes,
I do. And they're all staring at me at the table,
(06:50):
and now, mind you, I'm standing now beside the table
and they're all seated, and I can't help myself, you wan't.
They all start laughing, right, but I'm but I'm not
letting their laughter thrown. And she's like cracking up and
she's like, oh, no, you do. You are not about
(07:10):
to do this, and I'm like, you want fame, Well,
fame costs and I wasn't phoning it in. I was
giving it. And then I go, I told Donald that
there was like I remembering the scene in Fame. She's
holding a stick. I was looking for a stick to hold.
It's like her. It's like her staff in the in
the dance room. And I'm like, you want fame, Fame costs,
(07:33):
and right here is where you start paying long pause
in sweat. Now the table, their table is cracking up.
It's gone well, and now I think for the cherry
on top. I turned to Lee Daniels and I go,
that was my audition for all your future projects. So incredible.
(08:00):
Feeling myself, I was feeling myself, and I'm so glad
that I didn't fuck up the monologue because I had
ready to go. I love it, well done, very well.
You know. Normally I get really nervous around meaning celebrities
and and get like and sometimes say something cringey. I
mean kind of like Donald Dry humping Ryan Reynolds at
that party. I did, But but but this time, I really
I think I think I nailed it. I think I
(08:21):
stuck the landing crush. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Get into
the show. Scrubs A day of shot five six seven
eight about show we made about a bunch of dots
or so yet an here yet very funny episodes, so
(08:55):
fairly funny My New God, Yes, directed by Victor Nelly.
This was the episode I was talking about when I
said I thought that was the episode where we were
in a church the end of the episode, were in
a church and Victor Nelly was playing May God Bless
You in the whole. I had never heard the song before.
It's called in the Sun by Joseph Arther. May God's
(09:16):
Love Be with you. Beautiful song. Yes, beautiful, I picture
you all the sun in the sun, drink and whatever.
The great song. May God's Love be with you always.
Great song, great song. So this is what the episode
(09:37):
that I thought Victor Nellie was. This was his first episode,
but it turns out it's his second episode. Yes, you
know it's Victor Nellie because he's always trying to do
some wacky trick shots that aren't necessarily in the lexicon
of the show. He did that weird sort of go
pro overhead shot and when I'm doing my nap walk,
that was very weird. Yeah, the nap walk. Yeah, I
(09:58):
heard the nap I mean, I have no memory of
doing this whole nappalalk joke. But it was funny. I
mean I laughed pretty hard at the fact that but
you did the whole you did the whole obstacle course,
and then the hand comes out of nowhere. That's new.
And then it turns around and it's the it's the janitor. Yeah,
(10:21):
he's like, help me move. Yeah, the janitor is Um,
we learned that the janitor is a burglar. I guess
on the No, he just tricked you into becoming a burglar.
Oh so he don't. You don't think that he's a
regular burglar. He just wanted to fuck me over. Yes, God,
this guy really hates me. It's like, not it's not
(10:42):
confined to the hospital anymore. He wants to get me arrested. Yeah,
he tries to get you arrested. Yeah, you know what.
It used to be confined to the hospital. Um, he
just he hated me and I was his nemesis at work.
But now he's bringing me to other people's homes to
rob them in anticipation to me getting arrested. Yes, that
(11:04):
is the most maniacal. That is Like, that is ridiculously evil. Like,
think about that, man, I'd hate this person so much,
I'm gonna trick them and I'm going to get them
arrested and thrown in jail. This is a felony. This
isn't a misdemeanor. This is a felony. You walk out
of there with a freaking statue a God, Yes, that
(11:26):
is a felony. That thing is worth more than ten
thousand dollars. I'm sure of it. I'm sure of it. Well,
it wasn't just the Buddha we we. He had me
load up their precious vases. This poor Asian couple comes
home and I'm robbing them and he's nowhere to be found.
I've been drinking their their their their Chinese beer at
(11:47):
the table. And his whole explanation on why he was
doing it, why he needed to move all of this stuff,
was because he went to China when he was younger.
He lived in China for a little bit, explaining why
he had so many Chinese vases in his house. Right,
But but his explanation was, like, I traveled to China
(12:09):
and I you know, I couldn't. I wanted to live
there so bad, but I couldn't, So I just bought
a piece of it back with me something like that,
and it's they're robbing an Asian family. Yeah. I laughed
so hard at that. And then I steal the boot
it and I'm being chased by police dogs down the street.
I don't remember this. I'm being chased by German shepherds
(12:33):
who clearly didn't invite me, like the rottweiler I recently
worked with. Um. I laughed a few times when I
when I m when I'm not invited to the baptism,
and I'm like, oh, it's family, it's family only everyone.
That's that's how they're doing it. That's how they're doing it.
I didn't understand. I laughed at that too, but I
was like, who the fuck is Jad talking to? Well,
he's just like nervous energy, and he's so he's so
(12:55):
worked up that he's not invited to the baptism that
he's just kind of nervously likes only family everyone, No,
the only family at this one. But you know what,
I loved, and then carls like I was invited. I
love the background reacted to your loudness, though, Did you
notice that? Yeah, somebody directed them correctly. Yeah, now how
about when I go when Cox is fucking him, and
(13:16):
he goes, I want you to be the godfather, and
I go and then he goes, I am joking because
I am lying, um, and then I and then I
like swipe my tear away because I was so moved. Yeah, gosh,
man JD is obsessed with doctor Cox. He wants him
(13:37):
to love him, like so badly. He wants his love
and approval. The crazy thing is he's already gotten it.
He just wants more now. Now It's like like he's
already gotten the pat on the back. He's already gotten
all of those things. He knows that doctor Cox respects
him at this point. Now he just wants doctor Cox
to respect him and say, say he respects him, every
(14:00):
moment he can get it out of him. Yeah, well,
he's needy. He wants um affirmation, he wants um. He
wants I don't know, a big brother, a father figure,
all those things. And but Cox has given him all
of that already only in short, little like one minute soundbites.
Jade's like a junkie. He needs more. Yeah, he's a junkie.
(14:24):
He's a junkie for affirmation keeps coming back. It is um.
So we learned that Elliott names her her eggs that
are in her uterus um. Yes, and she said she
rubs her her stomach and said, Hailey doesn't have a
(14:44):
chance this month. And then she says, I name my
I name my eggs. Big frick right. Yeah, Sarah's fucking
out of her mind in this episode. Yeah doesn't she doesn't.
Isn't there a line where it's like, oh, man, Haley
(15:07):
would have been a fast runner or something like that.
She's like, yeah, she would have. She would have she
would have been. Yeah, isn't there what is it? What
is it? If I didn't write it down? But she
says something about like like, yes, she would have been. Okay,
Jack grew fast, hold on time out. This is the
(15:28):
classic sitcom thing. Yeah, would have baby grows faster than
the freaking show. Yeah, well, you run out of ideas
of things to do with the baby. So then it's like,
all right, how about toddler jokes? The kids are toddler now?
Next thing? You know? The kids sixteen and she has
only been on for five seasons. That was growing pains.
Remember the kid like jumped a lot of years that
that was the most egregious example of that. They were like,
(15:49):
we got nothing left for a baby. What if the
kid's four? Now the same thing with family ties. Oh really, dude,
the little kid in family ties. They they jumped big
time in family ties. You don't remember that. I don't
remember that one. Okay, but um, how old you baptize
a child? Oh that I don't know. Everywhere between like
(16:10):
baby and two, depending on the family, and how quickly
they get to the church, how active they are in
the church. All right, Well, all I know is that
this child, Donald's right, he he he aged fast. Maybe
he's got the Benjamin Buttons thing. Okay, that's aging backwards,
(16:31):
so he's reverse Benjamin button up. He's got reverse Benjamin.
Cheryl Hines is our guest star. She's very funny, very funny.
And uh, this was when she was she was on
a curb at this point, wasn't she Yeah? And then
i'm she walks in and Jady says, I'm sure you've
heard about me, and she says I haven't. And then
(16:52):
I do the same kind of thing. So they don't.
They don't talk much. Everybody that there's not a lot
of talking in the family. Yeah, he's just so worked up.
Bro um, how about laugh going through the lobby going hallelujah,
A brother's I have some sex. That shit was hilarious.
(17:15):
His wife throws his wife's throwing her legs up in
the air because they want to have a boy like Jesus.
Yea laughed, your ass was like he likes it like that. Yeah, no,
you go, you go, oh my god, you go smack.
Then and then I'm spanking your ass because you're about
(17:35):
to go get laid, And I'm like, this is how
he likes it. What a fucking bunch of weirdos we are, dude, yeah, dude, yeah,
they're nuts. Man, I'm not so happy that you're about
to get laid that I'm giving you sort of what
seems like a thing we do a celebratory spanking, yes,
(17:57):
in front of a devout Christian. And then and then
when you leave, I go, sorry, this is how he
likes it. Um, they're gonna she keeps her legs up
in the air because they're trying to have a boy
like Jesus. So here's a question, then, what are Christians
allowed to say? Like, there's just so many different versions
(18:17):
of this out there. It seems like, you know, there's
some Christians that curse, there's some that don't curse. There
are some, you know what I mean, just how religious
you are. I think we're saying that she's a pretty
religious woman. She must be very religious. Hey, well yeah,
I mean the plot point is that Cox is an
atheist and his very religious sister comes to town and
it's it's it's their sort of battle. You know, I
(18:40):
think he would have to be an atheist. He called
religion witchcraft pretty much. I think I think it's pretty
clear he because of what he sees in the hospital
and the life he's led, and we learned that he
has a very very fucked up childhood with an abusive parent.
So I think he's just got no no faith or
(19:00):
belief in anything at all. And here's a sister who's
one hundred and eighty degrees religious, And you know, that's
sort of one of the themes of the episode is
is how two siblings, or right, I guess, any two
people that need to be close, you know, navigate that.
What's up with Kelso and a gimp? Kelso's son has
(19:21):
a gimp. Call let's call that a tease and we'll
be right back after this break. Talk about Kelsa's son
and Kelsa's sons and we're bad. We are back, We
(19:42):
are back. Okay, we're Lambda Lambda lambed and oh I
can't hear that noise now with any ever again without
thinking of that song, Oh and a little oh me
lamar um. Okay, So Turk finds Carla on the bed
(20:11):
and she's got all the books out. I'm sure lots
of men and women who are trying actively to have
a baby can relate to this. We have friends that
are trying, and now you gotta you spend your whole
life and trying to not have a baby, and now
you're trying to have a baby, and you gotta get
the books out, and you gotta get the app. And
of course they didn't have apps when we made this show,
but now I know people use an app. But Turks like,
(20:33):
I need four play. I can't just go. You can't
just tell me to get on going. That's every come on.
Sex is great, four play is come on. That's the
best part. Okay, the teasing, you like, the sort of
leading up to things, Yeah, that's the come on. Yeah,
I don't care if you're trying to make a baby,
(20:55):
if you're trying not to make a baby, but don't
take out the way. Don't take away to four play? Yeah,
don't take away to four play? Tyra Banks just saying
Tyra Banks, naming enough for a play. Well in the show,
she says Tyra Banks, and you do the funniest thing.
You go you like make a moan and your pulvis
just goes forward as though you are humping a ghost
(21:15):
version of tire Bank. Yeah, the tire Banks Tanks were beautiful,
a beautiful woman. You can fight it in for the
writing of this. And did they say Donalds? Who would
do it for you? When you answered Tyra Banks? Tyra
Banks is a very beautiful woman. But if I had
to choose between four play and somebody saying Tyra Banks
his name, I will choose four plays. Okay, but I'm
(21:36):
saying now, and I'm sure Casey will be fine that
you answer this. If you did have to have a
name said that would get you instantly in the mood,
who would it be? I don't know. It could be
someone from your childhood, like you know, young Cathy Ireland.
M Okay, that's a deep cut Daniel. That isn't good.
(22:01):
H Ireland was on my was on my puberty list
of things are happening to me. If we're going back,
we'll go back that far. No, I'm saying you can
name whoever whomever you want. But I'm saying, if not
tire Banks, what would be your name that would make
you go and push your belts for I don't want
to answer. You don't have to answer, all right, We'll
(22:22):
just have to imagine you listener, and both listeners, both
male and female, can answer in your head right now
who that would be for you? Joel closed her eyes
and has turned up to the sky like a j
D imagination j J Joel, is there someone for you that? Yeah, Joel,
do you want to share? You get it in my head?
(22:42):
And it was beautiful? That was oh man, oh man. Okay,
So what's up with this whole pie talk thing? Okay?
So JD apparently takes an improv class. That's JD is
(23:03):
apparently in an improv class that meets in the back
of a pie shot and so he's used to looking
around the space for inspiration for his improvs and they're
all pie pi based improvs. Oh, it's pretty funny though, man,
(23:27):
Yeah it is. Y I try and for the family
to a whole improv of of of of watching Cheryl
Hines and Johnny c fight and it's all about pie.
And it ends with you're a pie racist, You're a
cobbler whore. I mean, while I'm yelling this in the
in the ICU room of their dying loved one, get
(23:54):
off pie. Yes, yes, come on, get off pie. And
then later we call it back with the Buddha and Jesus.
I'm doing for the priests. Oh my god, that was
really really in front of the priest. I'm doing my
pie improvs. Yes, here's where the bullshit comes in. No,
(24:16):
go ahead, Turk doesn't want to have sex anymore. That's
where the bullshit comes in. Well, he doesn't like this,
and I'm sure a lot of men can relate. But
when it's just let me finish the thought and then
you can say bullshit when you're when you're getting into
the No, now, we're having sex like this just to
try and make a baby. Come on, the time is right,
(24:36):
I'm mobulating legs up in the air. I'm going to
stay here and holding the the semen. You know, and
if it's like a program like that, I bet a
lot of men are like, come on, we've lost the romance.
We've lost the sexiness of this. Isn't that a thing? Bullshit? Okay,
you're the only person here who's actively had children. So
the best part of the best listen, that is the
(24:58):
best part making the baby. There is no I mean,
I guess back in a day there wasn't science behind it,
or there's just it looks like it's a bunch of myth.
But she's reading books on how to get a boy
with her legs up in the air and everything like that.
I don't think there's anything that can con control what egg. No, no, no,
but but there are there are technical things when you're
(25:20):
really trying you do right, Like the woman doesn't run
up afterwards and go pee. She like lies there with
her legs up in the air and and tries to
jiggle or butt. So the sperms is like excited to
get to the egg. We've all seen the Big Lebowski,
Yeah or election you remember, film me up, fill me
up the sign. But I'm saying the science doesn't mean
(25:40):
that it has to be in missionary all the time
now anymore. So I'm saying trying to say, Joel, can
you google the best you can get pregnant doggie style,
you can get pregnant. No, I know, but I'm saying
if you're someone would say it's not happening quickly, and
you and your partner are really trying like you're gonna
do it by the book you got the app saying
I'm elating, honey, this is the right exact time that
(26:03):
we have the best shot of trying. I don't think
doggie style is probably best, but Joell will how do
you know this? I'm guessing because in the movies, all
my kids to doggie style babies. Oh wow, you guys
(26:23):
thought this podcast wouldn't teach new information. I don't know
if that's I would like to have a t shirt
that says, all my kids are doggy style babies. Donald,
I don't know if I don't know if that's true
or not. I just said it because I know, but
it's funny. Do well? Can we have that put on
a baby onesie? Um? All my for the kids? All
my kids are doggy styles that'll sell like hotcakes. That
(26:45):
will sell like hotcakes. Willis agree? Oh my babies? All right?
Well too? Well? Will you just google for us? Um
answer here for you? All right? L. A. Kinsburg, PhD.
Chief of the Division of Behavioral Medicine at University Hospitals
Case Medical Center, says it's very difficult to research specific
(27:07):
sexual positions that might enhance fertility, and essentially there's not
really a lot of specific science on it. But her
number one suggestion is missionary. Number two is doggy. Okay, well,
bam bam, I just think mission will. You also have
a lot of length and girth, so you might be
you might be getting closer to the egg than others.
(27:32):
Oh my goodness, I think Joel, it's just physics. If
he's able to reach in there further with his science.
If someone has a small tenus, the spermam further to travel.
(27:55):
It's fast. That's why it's a little bit harder. Yeah,
to have babies. Yes, because the sperm gets out of
the small penis. Is like, where the fuck do we go?
I don't know Where's Donald's just hand delivering the sperm.
You know how they have like white glove delivery for furniture.
Donald's giving that sperm white glove delivery. Oh my, I
(28:21):
love that. Okay. So Turk realizes that he's not gonna
have four play before sex. So he realizes that angry
sex is a lot of fun kissing her off. Have
you ever had angry sex? Um, I'm sure I don't
remember a specific example, but is that your thing? Do
(28:42):
you do that? I don't, I don't. I disagree with
angry sex being awesome. Well, you're saying horrible things to Carla.
I mean, I just don't think that would work. I
think she'd be like, fuck you, dick, go in the
other room. No, because she wants to have a baby.
No she won't. She but you're saying no, No, you're
saying all you said you tell her to brush her
hair with a rake or something shit like that. Listen,
she said she needs a rake to brush her hair. Yeah,
(29:03):
but she wants a baby, and she's stuck with me,
so she has to have sex with me. And so
now she's angry and having sex with me. But in
the real world, your wife would turn you like, what
the fuck did you just say? Anybody you want to
have a baby? Right? Um? Okay, So then we learn
that um Elliott does not use the word penis or vagina. Um.
(29:27):
She has three options for penis, swing schwan, swing schwan.
Is it swing shuan or swing schwan? I thought it
was swing schwan, okay, swing schwan, peepers or peep and
then a vagina is bajingo or jingo, and then you
(29:48):
mentioned which is just ridiculous because she's a doctor, And
then you mentioned the cervical mucus and she goes, from
now on, we'll be calling that ikey sticky, which is
what they called marijuana. Something that's sticky, icky ikey. Oh
my god, I laughed so hard at this. I just
love that Elliott is a doctor and she can't talk
(30:08):
about genitalia. She calls the swing a penis a swing
swan swing swong andoo hoo. But jango is a good
one too, and yeah, yeah, the jingoes great. I also
laughed at We kind of jumped over this a little bit.
But how the janitor tells the audience he's gonna get
(30:30):
j j D's gonna be robbing somebody by giving him
the hat and the gloves before the Asian people come in. Yeah,
Jad's got the hat and then he leaves. Yeah, and
Jady smiling like in thought at the table, just thinking,
(30:52):
oh my god, Now what about what earlier armies skipped
this too? When we played Koyana SCOTTSI the Philip Glass track. Um,
when the janitors staring me down? You remember that? Yes?
What's that from Daniel? Do you know? Kayonna Scotts. Yeah,
it's a film. Wait is that your is that? We're
asking like what the film is? Well, there's a organ
(31:13):
and then this like deep chance, Yeah, it's from the
it's is it not from the film? I'm assuming it is.
I didn't know. Did Philip Glass score that film? I
never saw the film. It's it's a it's a banger
of the film. Who is it? Is it Lucas by
hip Music? Yeah? Philip Glass the music I was doing
(31:36):
Indiana Jones in the Temple of Do No. This is
yeah exactly, and it's like you know Organs and and
then the Channe line in slow motion and there's a
funny moment where he gets blocked and he's like, guys,
can you can you please move out of the way.
I'm trying to give him the evil eye and sure,
and then it comes right back. Oh yeah, Um, we
(32:03):
learned that my prison name is Gizmo. Probably I missed this.
How did I miss all of this? There were just
a lot of jokes. There are a lot of jokes
in there, a lot of jokes packed in um. Now
not to mention um. The giant bear shaking Elliot. That
made me laugh harder than anything in the episode. That's screaming.
(32:27):
Them screaming like that, and the bear shaking the car
made I want you all to know that that is
not green scream. They brought a fucking giant grizzly bear
to that parking lot and the bear shook that car
with Elliott inside. I laughed so hard because that would
be me. There's nothing else, there's nothing else to do
(32:47):
in that situation but scream. This is Bill went into
a phase here where there was animal jokes in every episode.
You're gonna start seeing them come up this season. A lot.
There's always any animal joke, and and this is starting
to happen. As you see that, I think everyone just
(33:08):
was like, well, it was fun to All we have
to do is write an animal joke and then we
get cool animals, Like just put a grizzly bear in
a fat flashback and there'll be a fucking grizzly bear
here on Tuesday. What about ostyges that we're Donald's can go, Yeah,
let's write that in When she does that basketball trick
shot at the end that was clearly you know, like
(33:29):
the clearly someone was off frame catching it and putting
it back. You believe that absolutely, Cheryl Hines isn't throwing
a ball behind her head and hitting it. Also, watch
the ball goes out of frame. Yeah, it does go
out of frame, but I mean it was seamless. But
I would say that seems harder to do. Throw the
ball off screen, somebody catch it above the rim. No, no,
(33:51):
you need two people. No, no, I disagree. You need
two people right above the backboard and one's catching her
ball and one simultaneously letting their ball go. Okay, I
think that's the way it was done. There's no way,
charl Hins. There's no ladder behind the backboard or anything
like that, or the craner or roof. Trust me, there's
no shot from the roof. It seems a bit harder
(34:12):
than No. I'm saying, they're literally above the backboard, like
a foot above, two feet above the rim. To be
surprised how easy it is to miss anyway. Okay, this
one thing made me laugh at the end of the show.
What what the fuck is JD doing at the ramp
watching Cox and his sister make amend like it pants
(34:33):
to j D and he's sitting there at the ramp.
Someone's got to sum up the end of the episode
of what we all learn. Who the hell is going
to sum up the episode? Yeah, I think this is
the first time you were like actually witnessing the the
reconciliation between the two siblings. But you're like, right there,
(34:54):
No one else is in the parking lot at all,
the emergency entrance except for you, the at the bottom
of the ram staring at them with the with the
whiskful grin. Listen this. You need a vl You need
someone there. You need someone there to give a nice
heartfelt end of episode VL. Um. All right, so we
(35:15):
have a caller, guys. Um, we're gonna take a break
right back with the best guest you've ever heard, and
we're back back. Do or do not? There is no try?
All right words um, Yes, bring in the Jews. We
(35:38):
got a call, you know, like a botta smoke maybe
talking about the episode. So come on, let's get the show.
(36:02):
Julie and Julian, welcome to the program. How are you, sir?
Thank you, how are you. We're very excited you're here.
It's a beautiful day. In southern California. Where are you located?
I am in Garden Grove, California. Where is where is it?
I'm right by Huntington Beach, Orange County. Got right by
Knotsbury Farm, not too far. Okay, I've been to Knotsbury Farm.
(36:23):
They made great biscuits. They got those biscuit packs and
the jelly Dont you don't ever mentioned Knotsbury Farm because
you're so loyal to Disneyland. Have you ever been to
I have been to Knotsbury Farm several times, and you
can buy scary coasters. Yeah, they have some great roller
coasters at Knotsbury Farm. Julian, do you go to Knotsbury Farm?
(36:44):
I've actually never been. What are you not much of
a coaster guy? Uh? Not really. I guess my older
brother scar the crap out me when I was younger,
so it kind of rude for me. How did he
scare the crap for you that made it so that
you didn't want to get on a roller coaster again?
Basically like I would die? He told you you were
gonna die on a roller coaster? Basically just freaked me out.
(37:07):
With any story they could or it would go off
the rails or something or something just beyond. So I
just never went on roller coasters. So you've never been
on a roller coaster, especially the giant ones you have
like six Flags kind that are like the Hulk where
you're just like standing up and I hate that. So
you've never you've never been on a roller coaster before.
It's what you're saying. I have not. Wow. Wow, I'm
(37:30):
gonna glad you an easy one like I go on
ones that go fast but not make me nauseous. Can
you do? Can you do Space Mountain at Disneyland Tech? Yeah,
I've done it. It's just I've done it a bunch
of times. I just don't. I don't ever feel better
coming out than when I went in. Like everyone else
that's coming out going, oh my god, that's good, let's
(37:50):
go again. I'm like, oh yeah, I'm gonna feel nauseous
probably for forty five minutes. And why did I do that?
I have to be quite honest, and I know this
is gonna be seck just for all of you, but
I've never been to Disneyland. I'm just You're just a
sad human being. Julian. I'm excited for you. It's fun.
(38:12):
Well the thing is okay, it doesn't really count. But
I went when I was three, but I don't really
remember it at all. Yeah, listen, I'm gonna I will
say this. I will say this. Go ahead. There's nothing
wrong with never going to Disneyland. There's nothing wrong with
never getting on a on a roller coaster. Ride ahead.
There is something wrong with not having fun. Julian, Yeah, okay, Julian.
(38:39):
What do you do? What do you do for fun? Yeah, Julian,
what what favorite thing doing? Especially during pandemic? I play
like guitar bass. Three D prints just kind of stay indoors.
Do you three D print? What kind of stuff do
you make? Um? Right now, I'm messing with the printers
actually printing helmets and I printed a Mandalorian helmet that
(39:02):
was my very like first prince wow, um, very good.
But it was a good test brand. So when you
get it off the web, that and then you can
hit like print and your thing will make it, or
you design the helmet yourself. Uh no, I'm actually plant
on tickets and forces to design. But it's just like
a like a download this and print it. And there
is a very friendly community as far as like sharing
(39:23):
original designs and mock ups. Goes right, what's a good
three D print? Like, what's a good brand? Because I
want to I want to print Donald a Mandalorian helmet.
A good brand? Um, a good starter? One is uh
is an end or? Three? Is what I'm using? Right?
Endoor three? Okay? Endor Or? In Star Wars Donald Endoor. Yeah,
(39:46):
it's the forest moon of the planet Indoor, the forest Moon.
So Indoor is actually not the actual planet that they're on.
They're on the forest Moon of Indoor. So Endoor is
a planet. Do we ever go to Endoor in the show? No,
but we are on the forest moon. Stop saying forest moon.
(40:07):
But that's how they say it in the movie. I know.
I just think that it's too bad that Endoor doesn't
get a troop. We'll put a garrison. What what did
they say, Joel, We'll send a crack team to the
forest Moon of Endoor. Is that Adam lac Bar? That
Zach Barr? That was Zach Barr? Impressed General Nadine. I
(40:29):
like ac Bar. I always thought he was cool. That's
a trap yeah all the time. All right, sorry, Julian,
we're back to you. Do you have a question for
you can't handle firepower of that magnitude. Donald. Listen, Julian's
going to ask a question. Well, first I want to
(40:50):
say that I'm sorry for my camera. I'm kind of
dark here, not just camera, myself too and dark man. Well,
we all upgraded our cameras, except Donald's decided to steal
the one iHeart gave him and use it for animation.
So Donald is still back to his shitty camera. When
you're gonna rectify that, I will rectify it soon, yeah,
because one day we'll put this on YouTube and you're
(41:11):
gonna look grainy and only me and Daniel are gonna
look high death. Yeah, but it took Daniel a while
to get that camera right and your camera all right.
I just think it's funny that I Heart gave us
fancy cameras, so in case we ever want to put
this show on YouTube and you stole it and use
it for animation, it's a great camera. It is a
great camera. You're right, but it's meant for the fucking podcast.
(41:34):
Four K dude, Okay, he's still using it, yeah, um, gradually.
But un first off, Unceley, thank you for having me
on the podcast. I'm super excited. And very nervous. Don't
pretend no one's listening to us. I am. I'm still
very nervous. Even the people in stod are listening ahead.
(41:58):
We're huge and stad silent g donal um, but yeah,
starts with the G right down. Yes it's I thought
you were a fucking encyclopedia guys. Oh it is. Wow,
it is just tad silent donald. So it's really pronounced y. No,
(42:25):
we just said it silent as sont you dare call
me twat gears? All right, Julian, I'm glad I didn't.
I'm glad I didn't. I'm not you, Julie. I don't
think you would call me twenty years Why wouldn't this
guy does? Um? Well, okay, so I guess the reason
(42:47):
I'm here is a couple of weeks ago since to
listen to you guys on the podcast obviously, and you
had mentioned about how you want to hear a story
of I guess a couple of breaking up and then
getting back together and kind of saying where that's at.
So basically I met my wife or thirteen, and we
were friends throughout middle school, high school, whatever it might be.
(43:09):
And after high school we stopped talking for a while,
and I found out that she was getting into trouble.
When you saying she was getting into trouble, like she
was doing drive bys and shit like that, or no, no, no,
I grew up in Hyton Beach, There's there's no drive bys. Really,
what do you mean drugs? What do you mean? Drugs?
Mainly um and just getting into that kind of trouble,
(43:32):
that kind of lifestyle, and and so I kind of
got a rout of it, I guess. And so we
started dating for a little while, and I mean, it
was the best time that I had in Unfortunately it's
for a short lived time because she ended up moving
to Michigan, where her biological father lives. So we dated
up until the point she had to leave, which was
an amazing three months. Time passed and we had other
(43:55):
relationships and one day in twenty sixteen, I accidentally butt
dialed her. Well, I was trying to text her and
I hit the call button. I hung up, like I
don't even know what to say to her. Her voice
so long, So she ended up calling it back and
we did not stop talking for the next eight hours.
(44:17):
And it was at like nine o'clock at night. Wow.
We talked and we talked and I was like, screw this,
like it's been six years and I'm gonna go see her.
So I booked the flight. Wait, did were you like?
What did you say that to her? Were you like,
you know, we've been talking all night. I think the
next step is just for me to come and I'm
going to go I'm going to see you. And she
was like, all right now, not at all. Uh, it
(44:39):
was it was it was just me really. I didn't
want to seem too pushy, but she was very happy
with the idea. When I finally told her maybe about
a week or two later, and so I booked the flight.
We hit a great time and we started to I
guess we started to date again when I went to
visit her, and we knew how that ended before, as
long as it's not at all, so again I said
(45:00):
fuck it. Uh to Forty days later, I packed all
my ship and moved to Michigan. Oh my god, Wow,
you were in love, my friend. You were love? Yeah,
And so I went from me, you went from the
beach to Michigan. Yeah, for love finds out it's cold,
um yeah um but uh so yeah, So I went
(45:25):
and and I rented a van because I my car
was a piece of crap, and I took my dog
and went to Michigan on a whim. We were there
about me, oh yeah, oh no, yeah, I moved here here,
I am no, no, I gave up everything. So she
wanted you to move there and you did? Yeah? Uh so,
(45:49):
um so what happens? Did we stay in Michigan another
six months? And she's like, I don't want to do
another Michigan winter. Let's get out of here. So she's
from here, and so it wasn't too hard called the
make really, so we moved back. So I moved all
my crap and my dog and my girlfriend all the
same time. Or six months later back to California. Wow,
(46:09):
same van. No, no, we bought a car while we
were out there, the same van. No. Great. Actually, now
she you're doing a lot of things for this woman.
I hope that she is appreciative of of of all
the life changes you're making. For one thing, I didn't
tell you, and it sounds crazy, I bought an engagement
ring way before I moved to Michigan or to back
(46:33):
to California. I'm sorry, before I moved to Michigan. I
had bought an engagement ring, prepared to ask her to
marry me at some point, and you'd chickened out the
whole time you were there, dude. Huh oh you asked,
did you ask her while you were in Michigan? I did.
I got the engaged ring, moved to Michigan, and uh
asked her to get married. And then we ended up
(46:53):
moving back to California, all our families so not back
to California. Um. Nine months later we got married. So
and uh now we have a beautiful two year old boy.
Um and uh yeah, I mean that's that's that's my
story of of I did the craziest thing I've ever
(47:15):
done in my life and going back to saying that's
she's done anything great for me. She gave me a
beautiful to old boy has a happy ending. I was
worried because sometimes Joel throws at us a really sad ending,
and this had a beautiful ending. I thought, you're gonna
be like and then she fucked my best friend and
(47:36):
I was okay with it, you know, like sometimes Joel
throws those at up. So I wonder how they're doing.
I wonder how they're doing. I know, Joel, I want
to check in on them because I really hope that
he's had his turn and he can tell us about it.
Oh please don't follow up with them. But no story,
I know. But Julian, we love a happy ending, a
(48:00):
romantic story. And you did you You gave up your
whole life for love and it panned out. That's beautiful.
It's one of those things where I grew up a
romantic and I don't really know the phrase, but there
was all I watched a lot of those movies where
it's like hopelessness romantic and well there's well it doesn't
it doesn't always work out. But in your case, you
really stepped out on a limb. You really, you know yourself.
(48:23):
You made yourself so vulnerable and and it worked. You know,
It's it was just scaring I've ever done, of course,
well until having a child. Yeah, let me know about
how long were you got How long were you guys
dating when you decided to ask her to marry you?
Not long at all? Well, I mean it was like
six months maybe less than that, eh, but he if that,
(48:46):
But I mean I've known her since we were twelve,
and you, guys, I know you guys have been together
since then too, You got a baby together and everything
you both to living in California again. That's a wonderful thing, man,
it really is. I don't know how we can fix
your life because your life feels like it's is pretty
darn great. Is there anything you need fixing? There? There
is a fix my life that does have to do
(49:07):
with my son. Actually, Okay, Donald, it's time for Garden Grove,
California's favorite segment. It's time too, fi yo life excited
for that? Okay, So my parents and my brother watch
(49:30):
my son while my wife and I are at work,
and I've actually come to pick up my son. And
eventually you found out that my brother's teaching my son
that dresses or for girls and blue with for boys
and all this macho masculine bullshit that I don't want
the toxicity. And my my son adores my brother, and honestly,
(49:53):
I don't really want him around him, just because he
he's this anti progressive, honestly very homophobic, and it tears
me to bit. It's just the shreds that um. But
this is happening, and I have nowhere else to go.
I have nowhere to I don't like, we can't afford
daycare and I live in California. Have you spoken to
(50:14):
your brother and said, hey, you know, you know, we
love you and everything, but we don't want you programming
or a child with these beliefs. We actually had a
I wouldn't say discussion. We definitely fought. Um. We went
off on each other about it, and uh, it's it's
just one of those things where he's he thinks he's
rights and his generation was right and this and that
blah blah blah, and just I don't I don't know
(50:37):
what to do. Well, you're a bit tangled because you
need to help with healthcare and you can't afford healthcare.
That's not your brother. Um, how old is the child
used too? Okay, well he's a little young probably to
be processing um any of right, yeah, right, but but
I've already heard him come home. My son will say
things like boys don't cry. Yeah, and I tell him,
(51:04):
I who told you that? And obviously everyone denies it,
but now knowing saying like my son was wore a
little blanking he said my new dress, and my brother
corrects him like, no, boys don't wear dresses. And then
we went off on a tangent about it. I don't
know what I'm supposed to do. That's really tricky because
you're if your brother's not respecting your wishes, Um, it's
(51:27):
really disrespectful from him. But at the same time, you're
you're a bit stuck because you need the healthcare help.
Excuse me, you need be a daycare help. What do
you Joel Daniel Donald any ideas what to help him.
I wouldn't bring my kid around my brother. That's just
how I would. That's just how I would handle it.
And I know it's fucked up for my brother, but
(51:48):
I don't. I don't want my kids having any type
of prejudice or yeah, or he's kind of doing it
to himself, like if I take my son away from
but that's that's his that you know, it's clear that
your brother does love your son. Yeah, but you know
it's not his place to it's not his place to
(52:10):
to to do that to It's not his place to
educate your son on with his beliefs, you know what
I mean, It's not his it's not his place to
do that. So especially when especially when you best, especially
when you very specifically has said don't do that and
he's still doing it. Yeah, like that's a that's gonna
(52:30):
be a note in the words Randy Jackson, that's gonna
be a note for me, dog like straight up, like
you gotta, I would not bring my child around that person,
Daniel Joel any thoughts I think personally, you know, you
might have to make some sort of like quote unquote
financial sacrifice in this department to make your point to
(52:51):
your brother, because right now it's only words until you
take action, and the action needs to be you will
not see my child again if you keep talking this way,
I will remove my child from your life. I will
remove you from my life if you cannot respect this
very basic wish to you know, simply be accepting of
other people and be progressive in the in the in
(53:14):
the most basic way, you know what I mean, And
so and and this might mean that until your brother
comes around, you might have to pay for daycare in
some fashion. And I know that's tough, and I know
it's going to be like you know, I don't know
if it's an extra shift or I don't know if
it's you know, selling some three D printed Mandalorian helmets
(53:34):
or whatever it is, like something Yeah, maybe Hey, you
know what you can do? Do Do you do? Do you
stream on Twitch? You ever heard of twitch? Maybe you
should stream some Oh shit, we forgot to stream with
freaking Dan or the other night. It's okay, I do
it every day. I do it every day or Wednesday, Friday, Sunday.
We'll work it. We'll work it out. He's got so
pissed off you could tell he's so sorry. It's okay,
(53:58):
it's okay. The way this is jum right now, I
want to watch. Am I allowed to comment? And will
you see my coms? Of course? Yes? I supposed to
make it rain dude. It's okay, it's okay. This is
about Julian right now. One second, one second, we have
to rectify this. Yeah, sorry, Dan, it's okay. It's really,
(54:20):
it's really truly. Get on tonight and take you private Friday.
Oh boy, take we're gonna make You're gonna take you
private and make your long story long story. Sure. Are
we allowed to say things on your Twitch stream like
show us your butt? Yes? Of course you can say
(54:42):
whatever you want anyway. Julian, I think you know, unfortunately,
there might be a little bit of self sacrifice here
and that if you want to make the point. You
have to just do it. Do it. It can't be like,
well we need this, it's like, yeah, you need it,
you need to get it from somewhere else. Yeahl's right.
By the way, if you if you, if you fire
a warning shot and like say, oh, sorry, well now
(55:03):
you're I have to I have to punish you in
so many words. Uh and and and you know, for
a month, hire a babysitter. And and maybe and maybe
that will sort of say, oh shit, he wasn't fucking around,
like I'm gonna I'm gonna correct myself. Maybe. Yeah, all right,
you're welcome. You're welcome, Julian, Julian, I'm gonna be honest
with you. That's a tough one because families and and
(55:26):
uh and beliefs and everything like that that you know,
these are the things that break families apart. Uh yeah.
But most but most important, you sound like a very
good father who wants to raise a very open um
kind child. And applaud you liberating as hell to get
toxicity out of your life. Yeah, I agree, and I'm
(55:49):
definitely trying. You know, when you when you get when
you get a lot of toxicity out of your life
and get rid of the toxic people in your life.
And then one shows up. You're like, whoa, I don't
have this in my life anymore. You stand out like
a sore thumb. Yeah right, it's true. I'm excited, but
I just it makes me sad, but I'm excited to
move on. Yeah, I think that's I think that's healthy
(56:09):
for you, my friend. All right, Uh, we did Julian.
Thank you so much for coming on and we really
appreciate you, and congrats on your beautiful love story. Thank you.
Thank you guys for having me. Of course, that's take
care well, thank you Julian. Ladies and gentlemen, give it
up for Julian sent them. That's right, sentinental. I don't know.
(56:38):
I like Julian sentimental. That's funny. Yeah, um, all right,
we did it, guys. I think we did another fun adventure.
That's all we have to say. We have new merch
in the merch store. There's some cool T shirts. There's
one of Joel. It's a beautiful artist rendition of our
of our podcast Queen Respect. You can put it on anything.
I realize that you can put it on a onesie.
(57:00):
Last night, so I was I was putting it on
a onesie. I don't even have a child to give
it to you. I just wanted to see what Joel's
face would look like on a onesie. Silly love it?
Water bottles coming soon? Yeah, and the water bottles are
coming soon. Um. All right, guys, we love you, we
appreciate you, and we hope you had a smile today. Donald,
(57:21):
what are those numbers? You love someone? Stories? Not sure?
We made about a bunch of doctor nurses and jann
I said, here's the stories. Never should so gado? Around here?
Are yadoo around here? Are respect for you? M
What's up, guys? What's up friends? What a beautiful day
in southern California. Gorgeous it is. Bogan Villa is popping everywhere.
The what is what? The bogan villa? That beautiful, bright
pink flower you see everywhere, the bogan villa. Yeah, you
(00:22):
never heard that term before. Nope, Bogan Am I saying
it right, guys, Bogan Villa. It's beautiful, It's everywhere. It's
very laws. Desert flowers are the best, which I did
not know until it came out here. The cactus is
the best desert flower. Let's keep it one hundred. That
is a beautiful desert flower to eat in a taco. Yes. Um,
(00:45):
we laid down the Casey song yesterday. We do Oh man, Donald,
we really it's amazing. You've heard took it to the
next level. The finished product from yeaterday's session. I have
not heard yet. I'll get to you as soon as
I receive it. But Donald was doing harmonies, and uh,
(01:07):
it's gonna be amazing. It's gonna be a true work
of art. Ze beat through in a couple of Yeah,
I don't know. She's gonna keep Our friend Jessica Weiss,
who's a blowing up composer. She composed the new Cinderella
movie with Camilla Cabello that's coming out, and she na,
when you come me sin Yati, Yeah, yeah, that's her
(01:32):
and she's um, she's um so talented, Jessica Weiss, and
so I was like, she's so busy. But I was like,
you know, we got other fancy people. So I asked
her to help. I had sort of come up with
the melody and the words. I was the what is that?
I was the songwriter if you will okay? And and
then I brought it to the producer who turned it
(01:54):
into something of a bop. One am I in this situation,
just the art you're the artist. You're like, you know,
you're the pop artist who came in with their talents,
their their voice, their personality, their charm and brought it
to life. Right. I think most people in the world,
in the real world, don't they assume that that these
pop artists wrote the song they sing? Speaking of pop artists, yeah,
(02:20):
are you listening to K pop at all? I don't
listen to any K pop? Please don't know what the
name of that bend that's the How does K pop any?
Oh my god? That them boys been getting me every time,
every time, every time, so I'll be I'll be like,
I'm not gonna like it this time, this time, I'm
not gonna like it, and then it comes on a
(02:42):
by the end of it, I'm like smooth like butter
so good it is. Yeah, I have never I don't
think I've ever heard a BTS That one's my favorite.
I've heard that one. I've heard that that Dynamite song.
That one gets me every time a robot algorithm figured
(03:06):
out exactly what you want to hear. Is this theory
or I mean, is this conspiracy theory or is this No,
I'm just saying, like, you know, uh, there's there's a formula,
not that it always works, but there is like a
computer formula of writing a hooky pop song, right sure.
I mean there's definitely you know, there's standpson and you know,
(03:29):
tried in true practices that make a pop hit. But
the talent of that group is is definitely unrivaled at
the moment. They're all really super talented. Okay, it's a
it's a super group. Dynamite that night. Well, Donald was
laying down the tracks yesterday and I really felt like
(03:51):
Puffy I was in the back of her studio on
the couch. I had my hands like this, like thinking
and rubbing my chin and um. When he was a
little bit pitch she I would turn to her and
give her the look like I need auto tune on
that one. And then you and then you were like,
all right, let me get on the track. Then I
want yeah, And just like a normal producer, I was like,
(04:12):
how can I be on the track? Should I say?
Should I say another one? That's very puffy of you.
That's I'm gonna make sure she at least puts in
one of my ahead. I want her to put in
a that's right, That's right. It's really good though. And Casey.
It's about Casey. So Casey was just bopping her head there.
She was feeling it. It would have been really really
(04:34):
forgot one. We should have did another one, another one,
another one. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm excited to share that
track with you. I can tell you. The funniest thing
that happened to me told I told Donald, But Donald,
you have to hear it again. Oh boy, Donald's making
a face. What happened? I'm not making a face. It's
(04:55):
just you know, I met Lee hold on, hold on,
let me finish before you go into it like, this
doesn't happen to me. I meet these people and they're like, hey,
how's it going, man? But you guy coming next. This
is what happened, which was Zach Well I met. I
was at a restaurant and the meter d of the
restaurant introduced me to Lee Daniels. Yeah. So for those
(05:20):
of you don't know, very very successful filmmaker who you know,
started I think with precious right, and then he meane, uh,
what did he do? Um the Billy Holliday movie, The Butler,
the Paperboy, Empire, um, Lee Daniel Lee Daniel Daniels is
a force of nature due in Hollywood. He found a
(05:41):
way to make the movies he wants to make and
how he wants to make it. Man, and it's you know,
he's also a very funny human being when you hang out.
Oh yeah, he created Empire. He created Empire and uh, anyway,
he's very very, very big deal in Hollywood and a
super talented guy. And I met him briefly just probably
(06:01):
the cocktail party once before. So I shook you know,
I was sitting at a table and made her He said, oh, Zach,
have you met Lee Daniels? And I turned around and
we both kind of smiled each other. I shook his
hand and said, oh, yeah, we briefly before. Nice to
see you. Nice to see you, you know, standard restaurants,
small talk. And Lee Daniels says, oh, hey, have you
ever met Debbie Allen? Oh? No, So I turned I
(06:28):
turned further around to see that he seated with Debbie Allen.
And now I stand up because I'm like, I have
to stand up for you out of respect, because you're
a living legend. And she laughed. She was like, oh,
you're so sweet. You're so sweet. I was like, I'm
such a fan. I was like, I quote you and
she goes, no, you do not, and they go, oh, yes,
I do. And they're all staring at me at the table,
(06:50):
and now, mind you, I'm standing now beside the table
and they're all seated, and I can't help myself, you wan't.
They all start laughing, right, but I'm but I'm not
letting their laughter thrown. And she's like cracking up and
she's like, oh, no, you do. You are not about
(07:10):
to do this, and I'm like, you want fame, Well,
fame costs and I wasn't phoning it in. I was
giving it. And then I go, I told Donald that
there was like I remembering the scene in Fame. She's
holding a stick. I was looking for a stick to hold.
It's like her. It's like her staff in the in
the dance room. And I'm like, you want fame, Fame costs,
(07:33):
and right here is where you start paying long pause
in sweat. Now the table, their table is cracking up.
It's gone well, and now I think for the cherry
on top. I turned to Lee Daniels and I go,
that was my audition for all your future projects. So incredible.
(08:00):
Feeling myself, I was feeling myself, and I'm so glad
that I didn't fuck up the monologue because I had
ready to go. I love it, well done, very well.
You know. Normally I get really nervous around meaning celebrities
and and get like and sometimes say something cringey. I
mean kind of like Donald Dry humping Ryan Reynolds at
that party. I did, But but but this time, I really
I think I think I nailed it. I think I
(08:21):
stuck the landing crush. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Get into
the show. Scrubs A day of shot five six seven
eight about show we made about a bunch of dots
or so yet an here yet very funny episodes, so
(08:55):
fairly funny My New God, Yes, directed by Victor Nelly.
This was the episode I was talking about when I
said I thought that was the episode where we were
in a church the end of the episode, were in
a church and Victor Nelly was playing May God Bless
You in the whole. I had never heard the song before.
It's called in the Sun by Joseph Arther. May God's
(09:16):
Love Be with you. Beautiful song. Yes, beautiful, I picture
you all the sun in the sun, drink and whatever.
The great song. May God's Love be with you always.
Great song, great song. So this is what the episode
(09:37):
that I thought Victor Nellie was. This was his first episode,
but it turns out it's his second episode. Yes, you
know it's Victor Nellie because he's always trying to do
some wacky trick shots that aren't necessarily in the lexicon
of the show. He did that weird sort of go
pro overhead shot and when I'm doing my nap walk,
that was very weird. Yeah, the nap walk. Yeah, I
(09:58):
heard the nap I mean, I have no memory of
doing this whole nappalalk joke. But it was funny. I
mean I laughed pretty hard at the fact that but
you did the whole you did the whole obstacle course,
and then the hand comes out of nowhere. That's new.
And then it turns around and it's the it's the janitor. Yeah,
(10:21):
he's like, help me move. Yeah, the janitor is Um,
we learned that the janitor is a burglar. I guess
on the No, he just tricked you into becoming a burglar.
Oh so he don't. You don't think that he's a
regular burglar. He just wanted to fuck me over. Yes, God,
this guy really hates me. It's like, not it's not
(10:42):
confined to the hospital anymore. He wants to get me arrested. Yeah,
he tries to get you arrested. Yeah, you know what.
It used to be confined to the hospital. Um, he
just he hated me and I was his nemesis at work.
But now he's bringing me to other people's homes to
rob them in anticipation to me getting arrested. Yes, that
(11:04):
is the most maniacal. That is Like, that is ridiculously evil. Like,
think about that, man, I'd hate this person so much,
I'm gonna trick them and I'm going to get them
arrested and thrown in jail. This is a felony. This
isn't a misdemeanor. This is a felony. You walk out
of there with a freaking statue a God, Yes, that
(11:26):
is a felony. That thing is worth more than ten
thousand dollars. I'm sure of it. I'm sure of it. Well,
it wasn't just the Buddha we we. He had me
load up their precious vases. This poor Asian couple comes
home and I'm robbing them and he's nowhere to be found.
I've been drinking their their their their Chinese beer at
(11:47):
the table. And his whole explanation on why he was
doing it, why he needed to move all of this stuff,
was because he went to China when he was younger.
He lived in China for a little bit, explaining why
he had so many Chinese vases in his house. Right,
But but his explanation was, like, I traveled to China
(12:09):
and I you know, I couldn't. I wanted to live
there so bad, but I couldn't, So I just bought
a piece of it back with me something like that,
and it's they're robbing an Asian family. Yeah. I laughed
so hard at that. And then I steal the boot
it and I'm being chased by police dogs down the street.
I don't remember this. I'm being chased by German shepherds
(12:33):
who clearly didn't invite me, like the rottweiler I recently
worked with. Um. I laughed a few times when I
when I m when I'm not invited to the baptism,
and I'm like, oh, it's family, it's family only everyone.
That's that's how they're doing it. That's how they're doing it.
I didn't understand. I laughed at that too, but I
was like, who the fuck is Jad talking to? Well,
he's just like nervous energy, and he's so he's so
(12:55):
worked up that he's not invited to the baptism that
he's just kind of nervously likes only family everyone, No,
the only family at this one. But you know what,
I loved, and then carls like I was invited. I
love the background reacted to your loudness, though, Did you
notice that? Yeah, somebody directed them correctly. Yeah, now how
about when I go when Cox is fucking him, and
(13:16):
he goes, I want you to be the godfather, and
I go and then he goes, I am joking because
I am lying, um, and then I and then I
like swipe my tear away because I was so moved. Yeah, gosh,
man JD is obsessed with doctor Cox. He wants him
(13:37):
to love him, like so badly. He wants his love
and approval. The crazy thing is he's already gotten it.
He just wants more now. Now It's like like he's
already gotten the pat on the back. He's already gotten
all of those things. He knows that doctor Cox respects
him at this point. Now he just wants doctor Cox
to respect him and say, say he respects him, every
(14:00):
moment he can get it out of him. Yeah, well,
he's needy. He wants um affirmation, he wants um. He
wants I don't know, a big brother, a father figure,
all those things. And but Cox has given him all
of that already only in short, little like one minute soundbites.
Jade's like a junkie. He needs more. Yeah, he's a junkie.
(14:24):
He's a junkie for affirmation keeps coming back. It is um.
So we learned that Elliott names her her eggs that
are in her uterus um. Yes, and she said she
rubs her her stomach and said, Hailey doesn't have a
(14:44):
chance this month. And then she says, I name my
I name my eggs. Big frick right. Yeah, Sarah's fucking
out of her mind in this episode. Yeah doesn't she doesn't.
Isn't there a line where it's like, oh, man, Haley
(15:07):
would have been a fast runner or something like that.
She's like, yeah, she would have. She would have she
would have been. Yeah, isn't there what is it? What
is it? If I didn't write it down? But she
says something about like like, yes, she would have been. Okay,
Jack grew fast, hold on time out. This is the
(15:28):
classic sitcom thing. Yeah, would have baby grows faster than
the freaking show. Yeah, well, you run out of ideas
of things to do with the baby. So then it's like,
all right, how about toddler jokes? The kids are toddler now?
Next thing? You know? The kids sixteen and she has
only been on for five seasons. That was growing pains.
Remember the kid like jumped a lot of years that
that was the most egregious example of that. They were like,
(15:49):
we got nothing left for a baby. What if the
kid's four? Now the same thing with family ties. Oh really, dude,
the little kid in family ties. They they jumped big
time in family ties. You don't remember that. I don't
remember that one. Okay, but um, how old you baptize
a child? Oh that I don't know. Everywhere between like
(16:10):
baby and two, depending on the family, and how quickly
they get to the church, how active they are in
the church. All right, Well, all I know is that
this child, Donald's right, he he he aged fast. Maybe
he's got the Benjamin Buttons thing. Okay, that's aging backwards,
(16:31):
so he's reverse Benjamin button up. He's got reverse Benjamin.
Cheryl Hines is our guest star. She's very funny, very funny.
And uh, this was when she was she was on
a curb at this point, wasn't she Yeah? And then
i'm she walks in and Jady says, I'm sure you've
heard about me, and she says I haven't. And then
(16:52):
I do the same kind of thing. So they don't.
They don't talk much. Everybody that there's not a lot
of talking in the family. Yeah, he's just so worked up.
Bro um, how about laugh going through the lobby going hallelujah,
A brother's I have some sex. That shit was hilarious.
(17:15):
His wife throws his wife's throwing her legs up in
the air because they want to have a boy like Jesus.
Yea laughed, your ass was like he likes it like that. Yeah, no,
you go, you go, oh my god, you go smack.
Then and then I'm spanking your ass because you're about
(17:35):
to go get laid, And I'm like, this is how
he likes it. What a fucking bunch of weirdos we are, dude, yeah, dude, yeah,
they're nuts. Man, I'm not so happy that you're about
to get laid that I'm giving you sort of what
seems like a thing we do a celebratory spanking, yes,
(17:57):
in front of a devout Christian. And then and then
when you leave, I go, sorry, this is how he
likes it. Um, they're gonna she keeps her legs up
in the air because they're trying to have a boy
like Jesus. So here's a question, then, what are Christians
allowed to say? Like, there's just so many different versions
(18:17):
of this out there. It seems like, you know, there's
some Christians that curse, there's some that don't curse. There
are some, you know what I mean, just how religious
you are. I think we're saying that she's a pretty
religious woman. She must be very religious. Hey, well yeah,
I mean the plot point is that Cox is an
atheist and his very religious sister comes to town and
it's it's it's their sort of battle. You know, I
(18:40):
think he would have to be an atheist. He called
religion witchcraft pretty much. I think I think it's pretty
clear he because of what he sees in the hospital
and the life he's led, and we learned that he
has a very very fucked up childhood with an abusive parent.
So I think he's just got no no faith or
(19:00):
belief in anything at all. And here's a sister who's
one hundred and eighty degrees religious, And you know, that's
sort of one of the themes of the episode is
is how two siblings, or right, I guess, any two
people that need to be close, you know, navigate that.
What's up with Kelso and a gimp? Kelso's son has
(19:21):
a gimp. Call let's call that a tease and we'll
be right back after this break. Talk about Kelsa's son
and Kelsa's sons and we're bad. We are back, We
(19:42):
are back. Okay, we're Lambda Lambda lambed and oh I
can't hear that noise now with any ever again without
thinking of that song, Oh and a little oh me
lamar um. Okay, So Turk finds Carla on the bed
(20:11):
and she's got all the books out. I'm sure lots
of men and women who are trying actively to have
a baby can relate to this. We have friends that
are trying, and now you gotta you spend your whole
life and trying to not have a baby, and now
you're trying to have a baby, and you gotta get
the books out, and you gotta get the app. And
of course they didn't have apps when we made this show,
but now I know people use an app. But Turks like,
(20:33):
I need four play. I can't just go. You can't
just tell me to get on going. That's every come on.
Sex is great, four play is come on. That's the
best part. Okay, the teasing, you like, the sort of
leading up to things, Yeah, that's the come on. Yeah,
I don't care if you're trying to make a baby,
(20:55):
if you're trying not to make a baby, but don't
take out the way. Don't take away to four play? Yeah,
don't take away to four play? Tyra Banks just saying
Tyra Banks, naming enough for a play. Well in the show,
she says Tyra Banks, and you do the funniest thing.
You go you like make a moan and your pulvis
just goes forward as though you are humping a ghost
(21:15):
version of tire Bank. Yeah, the tire Banks Tanks were beautiful,
a beautiful woman. You can fight it in for the
writing of this. And did they say Donalds? Who would
do it for you? When you answered Tyra Banks? Tyra
Banks is a very beautiful woman. But if I had
to choose between four play and somebody saying Tyra Banks
his name, I will choose four plays. Okay, but I'm
(21:36):
saying now, and I'm sure Casey will be fine that
you answer this. If you did have to have a
name said that would get you instantly in the mood,
who would it be? I don't know. It could be
someone from your childhood, like you know, young Cathy Ireland.
M Okay, that's a deep cut Daniel. That isn't good.
(22:01):
H Ireland was on my was on my puberty list
of things are happening to me. If we're going back,
we'll go back that far. No, I'm saying you can
name whoever whomever you want. But I'm saying, if not
tire Banks, what would be your name that would make
you go and push your belts for I don't want
to answer. You don't have to answer, all right, We'll
(22:22):
just have to imagine you listener, and both listeners, both
male and female, can answer in your head right now
who that would be for you? Joel closed her eyes
and has turned up to the sky like a j
D imagination j J Joel, is there someone for you that? Yeah, Joel,
do you want to share? You get it in my head?
(22:42):
And it was beautiful? That was oh man, oh man. Okay,
So what's up with this whole pie talk thing? Okay?
So JD apparently takes an improv class. That's JD is
(23:03):
apparently in an improv class that meets in the back
of a pie shot and so he's used to looking
around the space for inspiration for his improvs and they're
all pie pi based improvs. Oh, it's pretty funny though, man,
(23:27):
Yeah it is. Y I try and for the family
to a whole improv of of of of watching Cheryl
Hines and Johnny c fight and it's all about pie.
And it ends with you're a pie racist, You're a
cobbler whore. I mean, while I'm yelling this in the
in the ICU room of their dying loved one, get
(23:54):
off pie. Yes, yes, come on, get off pie. And
then later we call it back with the Buddha and Jesus.
I'm doing for the priests. Oh my god, that was
really really in front of the priest. I'm doing my
pie improvs. Yes, here's where the bullshit comes in. No,
(24:16):
go ahead, Turk doesn't want to have sex anymore. That's
where the bullshit comes in. Well, he doesn't like this,
and I'm sure a lot of men can relate. But
when it's just let me finish the thought and then
you can say bullshit when you're when you're getting into
the No, now, we're having sex like this just to
try and make a baby. Come on, the time is right,
(24:36):
I'm mobulating legs up in the air. I'm going to
stay here and holding the the semen. You know, and
if it's like a program like that, I bet a
lot of men are like, come on, we've lost the romance.
We've lost the sexiness of this. Isn't that a thing? Bullshit? Okay,
you're the only person here who's actively had children. So
the best part of the best listen, that is the
(24:58):
best part making the baby. There is no I mean,
I guess back in a day there wasn't science behind it,
or there's just it looks like it's a bunch of myth.
But she's reading books on how to get a boy
with her legs up in the air and everything like that.
I don't think there's anything that can con control what egg. No, no, no,
but but there are there are technical things when you're
(25:20):
really trying you do right, Like the woman doesn't run
up afterwards and go pee. She like lies there with
her legs up in the air and and tries to
jiggle or butt. So the sperms is like excited to
get to the egg. We've all seen the Big Lebowski,
Yeah or election you remember, film me up, fill me
up the sign. But I'm saying the science doesn't mean
(25:40):
that it has to be in missionary all the time
now anymore. So I'm saying trying to say, Joel, can
you google the best you can get pregnant doggie style,
you can get pregnant. No, I know, but I'm saying
if you're someone would say it's not happening quickly, and
you and your partner are really trying like you're gonna
do it by the book you got the app saying
I'm elating, honey, this is the right exact time that
(26:03):
we have the best shot of trying. I don't think
doggie style is probably best, but Joell will how do
you know this? I'm guessing because in the movies, all
my kids to doggie style babies. Oh wow, you guys
(26:23):
thought this podcast wouldn't teach new information. I don't know
if that's I would like to have a t shirt
that says, all my kids are doggy style babies. Donald,
I don't know if I don't know if that's true
or not. I just said it because I know, but
it's funny. Do well? Can we have that put on
a baby onesie? Um? All my for the kids? All
my kids are doggy styles that'll sell like hotcakes. That
(26:45):
will sell like hotcakes. Willis agree? Oh my babies? All right?
Well too? Well? Will you just google for us? Um
answer here for you? All right? L. A. Kinsburg, PhD.
Chief of the Division of Behavioral Medicine at University Hospitals
Case Medical Center, says it's very difficult to research specific
(27:07):
sexual positions that might enhance fertility, and essentially there's not
really a lot of specific science on it. But her
number one suggestion is missionary. Number two is doggy. Okay, well,
bam bam, I just think mission will. You also have
a lot of length and girth, so you might be
you might be getting closer to the egg than others.
(27:32):
Oh my goodness, I think Joel, it's just physics. If
he's able to reach in there further with his science.
If someone has a small tenus, the spermam further to travel.
(27:55):
It's fast. That's why it's a little bit harder. Yeah,
to have babies. Yes, because the sperm gets out of
the small penis. Is like, where the fuck do we go?
I don't know Where's Donald's just hand delivering the sperm.
You know how they have like white glove delivery for furniture.
Donald's giving that sperm white glove delivery. Oh my, I
(28:21):
love that. Okay. So Turk realizes that he's not gonna
have four play before sex. So he realizes that angry
sex is a lot of fun kissing her off. Have
you ever had angry sex? Um, I'm sure I don't
remember a specific example, but is that your thing? Do
(28:42):
you do that? I don't, I don't. I disagree with
angry sex being awesome. Well, you're saying horrible things to Carla.
I mean, I just don't think that would work. I
think she'd be like, fuck you, dick, go in the
other room. No, because she wants to have a baby.
No she won't. She but you're saying no, No, you're
saying all you said you tell her to brush her
hair with a rake or something shit like that. Listen,
she said she needs a rake to brush her hair. Yeah,
(29:03):
but she wants a baby, and she's stuck with me,
so she has to have sex with me. And so
now she's angry and having sex with me. But in
the real world, your wife would turn you like, what
the fuck did you just say? Anybody you want to
have a baby? Right? Um? Okay, So then we learn
that um Elliott does not use the word penis or vagina. Um.
(29:27):
She has three options for penis, swing schwan, swing schwan.
Is it swing shuan or swing schwan? I thought it
was swing schwan, okay, swing schwan, peepers or peep and
then a vagina is bajingo or jingo, and then you
(29:48):
mentioned which is just ridiculous because she's a doctor, And
then you mentioned the cervical mucus and she goes, from
now on, we'll be calling that ikey sticky, which is
what they called marijuana. Something that's sticky, icky ikey. Oh
my god, I laughed so hard at this. I just
love that Elliott is a doctor and she can't talk
(30:08):
about genitalia. She calls the swing a penis a swing
swan swing swong andoo hoo. But jango is a good
one too, and yeah, yeah, the jingoes great. I also
laughed at We kind of jumped over this a little bit.
But how the janitor tells the audience he's gonna get
(30:30):
j j D's gonna be robbing somebody by giving him
the hat and the gloves before the Asian people come in. Yeah,
Jad's got the hat and then he leaves. Yeah, and
Jady smiling like in thought at the table, just thinking,
(30:52):
oh my god, Now what about what earlier armies skipped
this too? When we played Koyana SCOTTSI the Philip Glass track. Um,
when the janitors staring me down? You remember that? Yes?
What's that from Daniel? Do you know? Kayonna Scotts. Yeah,
it's a film. Wait is that your is that? We're
asking like what the film is? Well, there's a organ
(31:13):
and then this like deep chance, Yeah, it's from the
it's is it not from the film? I'm assuming it is.
I didn't know. Did Philip Glass score that film? I
never saw the film. It's it's a it's a banger
of the film. Who is it? Is it Lucas by
hip Music? Yeah? Philip Glass the music I was doing
(31:36):
Indiana Jones in the Temple of Do No. This is
yeah exactly, and it's like you know Organs and and
then the Channe line in slow motion and there's a
funny moment where he gets blocked and he's like, guys,
can you can you please move out of the way.
I'm trying to give him the evil eye and sure,
and then it comes right back. Oh yeah, Um, we
(32:03):
learned that my prison name is Gizmo. Probably I missed this.
How did I miss all of this? There were just
a lot of jokes. There are a lot of jokes
in there, a lot of jokes packed in um. Now
not to mention um. The giant bear shaking Elliot. That
made me laugh harder than anything in the episode. That's screaming.
(32:27):
Them screaming like that, and the bear shaking the car
made I want you all to know that that is
not green scream. They brought a fucking giant grizzly bear
to that parking lot and the bear shook that car
with Elliott inside. I laughed so hard because that would
be me. There's nothing else, there's nothing else to do
(32:47):
in that situation but scream. This is Bill went into
a phase here where there was animal jokes in every episode.
You're gonna start seeing them come up this season. A lot.
There's always any animal joke, and and this is starting
to happen. As you see that, I think everyone just
(33:08):
was like, well, it was fun to All we have
to do is write an animal joke and then we
get cool animals, Like just put a grizzly bear in
a fat flashback and there'll be a fucking grizzly bear
here on Tuesday. What about ostyges that we're Donald's can go, Yeah,
let's write that in When she does that basketball trick
shot at the end that was clearly you know, like
(33:29):
the clearly someone was off frame catching it and putting
it back. You believe that absolutely, Cheryl Hines isn't throwing
a ball behind her head and hitting it. Also, watch
the ball goes out of frame. Yeah, it does go
out of frame, but I mean it was seamless. But
I would say that seems harder to do. Throw the
ball off screen, somebody catch it above the rim. No, no,
(33:51):
you need two people. No, no, I disagree. You need
two people right above the backboard and one's catching her
ball and one simultaneously letting their ball go. Okay, I
think that's the way it was done. There's no way,
charl Hins. There's no ladder behind the backboard or anything
like that, or the craner or roof. Trust me, there's
no shot from the roof. It seems a bit harder
(34:12):
than No. I'm saying, they're literally above the backboard, like
a foot above, two feet above the rim. To be
surprised how easy it is to miss anyway. Okay, this
one thing made me laugh at the end of the show.
What what the fuck is JD doing at the ramp
watching Cox and his sister make amend like it pants
(34:33):
to j D and he's sitting there at the ramp.
Someone's got to sum up the end of the episode
of what we all learn. Who the hell is going
to sum up the episode? Yeah, I think this is
the first time you were like actually witnessing the the
reconciliation between the two siblings. But you're like, right there,
(34:54):
No one else is in the parking lot at all,
the emergency entrance except for you, the at the bottom
of the ram staring at them with the with the
whiskful grin. Listen this. You need a vl You need
someone there. You need someone there to give a nice
heartfelt end of episode VL. Um. All right, so we
(35:15):
have a caller, guys. Um, we're gonna take a break
right back with the best guest you've ever heard, and
we're back back. Do or do not? There is no try?
All right words um, Yes, bring in the Jews. We
(35:38):
got a call, you know, like a botta smoke maybe
talking about the episode. So come on, let's get the show.
(36:02):
Julie and Julian, welcome to the program. How are you, sir?
Thank you, how are you. We're very excited you're here.
It's a beautiful day. In southern California. Where are you located?
I am in Garden Grove, California. Where is where is it?
I'm right by Huntington Beach, Orange County. Got right by
Knotsbury Farm, not too far. Okay, I've been to Knotsbury Farm.
(36:23):
They made great biscuits. They got those biscuit packs and
the jelly Dont you don't ever mentioned Knotsbury Farm because
you're so loyal to Disneyland. Have you ever been to
I have been to Knotsbury Farm several times, and you
can buy scary coasters. Yeah, they have some great roller
coasters at Knotsbury Farm. Julian, do you go to Knotsbury Farm?
(36:44):
I've actually never been. What are you not much of
a coaster guy? Uh? Not really. I guess my older
brother scar the crap out me when I was younger,
so it kind of rude for me. How did he
scare the crap for you that made it so that
you didn't want to get on a roller coaster again?
Basically like I would die? He told you you were
gonna die on a roller coaster? Basically just freaked me out.
(37:07):
With any story they could or it would go off
the rails or something or something just beyond. So I
just never went on roller coasters. So you've never been
on a roller coaster, especially the giant ones you have
like six Flags kind that are like the Hulk where
you're just like standing up and I hate that. So
you've never you've never been on a roller coaster before.
It's what you're saying. I have not. Wow. Wow, I'm
(37:30):
gonna glad you an easy one like I go on
ones that go fast but not make me nauseous. Can
you do? Can you do Space Mountain at Disneyland Tech? Yeah,
I've done it. It's just I've done it a bunch
of times. I just don't. I don't ever feel better
coming out than when I went in. Like everyone else
that's coming out going, oh my god, that's good, let's
(37:50):
go again. I'm like, oh yeah, I'm gonna feel nauseous
probably for forty five minutes. And why did I do that?
I have to be quite honest, and I know this
is gonna be seck just for all of you, but
I've never been to Disneyland. I'm just You're just a
sad human being. Julian. I'm excited for you. It's fun.
(38:12):
Well the thing is okay, it doesn't really count. But
I went when I was three, but I don't really
remember it at all. Yeah, listen, I'm gonna I will
say this. I will say this. Go ahead. There's nothing
wrong with never going to Disneyland. There's nothing wrong with
never getting on a on a roller coaster. Ride ahead.
There is something wrong with not having fun. Julian, Yeah, okay, Julian.
(38:39):
What do you do? What do you do for fun? Yeah, Julian,
what what favorite thing doing? Especially during pandemic? I play
like guitar bass. Three D prints just kind of stay indoors.
Do you three D print? What kind of stuff do
you make? Um? Right now, I'm messing with the printers
actually printing helmets and I printed a Mandalorian helmet that
(39:02):
was my very like first prince wow, um, very good.
But it was a good test brand. So when you
get it off the web, that and then you can
hit like print and your thing will make it, or
you design the helmet yourself. Uh no, I'm actually plant
on tickets and forces to design. But it's just like
a like a download this and print it. And there
is a very friendly community as far as like sharing
(39:23):
original designs and mock ups. Goes right, what's a good
three D print? Like, what's a good brand? Because I
want to I want to print Donald a Mandalorian helmet.
A good brand? Um, a good starter? One is uh
is an end or? Three? Is what I'm using? Right?
Endoor three? Okay? Endor Or? In Star Wars Donald Endoor. Yeah,
(39:46):
it's the forest moon of the planet Indoor, the forest Moon.
So Indoor is actually not the actual planet that they're on.
They're on the forest Moon of Indoor. So Endoor is
a planet. Do we ever go to Endoor in the show? No,
but we are on the forest moon. Stop saying forest moon.
(40:07):
But that's how they say it in the movie. I know.
I just think that it's too bad that Endoor doesn't
get a troop. We'll put a garrison. What what did
they say, Joel, We'll send a crack team to the
forest Moon of Endoor. Is that Adam lac Bar? That
Zach Barr? That was Zach Barr? Impressed General Nadine. I
(40:29):
like ac Bar. I always thought he was cool. That's
a trap yeah all the time. All right, sorry, Julian,
we're back to you. Do you have a question for
you can't handle firepower of that magnitude. Donald. Listen, Julian's
going to ask a question. Well, first I want to
(40:50):
say that I'm sorry for my camera. I'm kind of
dark here, not just camera, myself too and dark man. Well,
we all upgraded our cameras, except Donald's decided to steal
the one iHeart gave him and use it for animation.
So Donald is still back to his shitty camera. When
you're gonna rectify that, I will rectify it soon, yeah,
because one day we'll put this on YouTube and you're
(41:11):
gonna look grainy and only me and Daniel are gonna
look high death. Yeah, but it took Daniel a while
to get that camera right and your camera all right.
I just think it's funny that I Heart gave us
fancy cameras, so in case we ever want to put
this show on YouTube and you stole it and use
it for animation, it's a great camera. It is a
great camera. You're right, but it's meant for the fucking podcast.
(41:34):
Four K dude, Okay, he's still using it, yeah, um, gradually.
But un first off, Unceley, thank you for having me
on the podcast. I'm super excited. And very nervous. Don't
pretend no one's listening to us. I am. I'm still
very nervous. Even the people in stod are listening ahead.
(41:58):
We're huge and stad silent g donal um, but yeah,
starts with the G right down. Yes it's I thought
you were a fucking encyclopedia guys. Oh it is. Wow,
it is just tad silent donald. So it's really pronounced y. No,
(42:25):
we just said it silent as sont you dare call
me twat gears? All right, Julian, I'm glad I didn't.
I'm glad I didn't. I'm not you, Julie. I don't
think you would call me twenty years Why wouldn't this
guy does? Um? Well, okay, so I guess the reason
(42:47):
I'm here is a couple of weeks ago since to
listen to you guys on the podcast obviously, and you
had mentioned about how you want to hear a story
of I guess a couple of breaking up and then
getting back together and kind of saying where that's at.
So basically I met my wife or thirteen, and we
were friends throughout middle school, high school, whatever it might be.
(43:09):
And after high school we stopped talking for a while,
and I found out that she was getting into trouble.
When you saying she was getting into trouble, like she
was doing drive bys and shit like that, or no, no, no,
I grew up in Hyton Beach, There's there's no drive bys. Really,
what do you mean drugs? What do you mean? Drugs?
Mainly um and just getting into that kind of trouble,
(43:32):
that kind of lifestyle, and and so I kind of
got a rout of it, I guess. And so we
started dating for a little while, and I mean, it
was the best time that I had in Unfortunately it's
for a short lived time because she ended up moving
to Michigan, where her biological father lives. So we dated
up until the point she had to leave, which was
an amazing three months. Time passed and we had other
(43:55):
relationships and one day in twenty sixteen, I accidentally butt
dialed her. Well, I was trying to text her and
I hit the call button. I hung up, like I
don't even know what to say to her. Her voice
so long, So she ended up calling it back and
we did not stop talking for the next eight hours.
(44:17):
And it was at like nine o'clock at night. Wow.
We talked and we talked and I was like, screw this,
like it's been six years and I'm gonna go see her.
So I booked the flight. Wait, did were you like?
What did you say that to her? Were you like,
you know, we've been talking all night. I think the
next step is just for me to come and I'm
going to go I'm going to see you. And she
was like, all right now, not at all. Uh, it
(44:39):
was it was it was just me really. I didn't
want to seem too pushy, but she was very happy
with the idea. When I finally told her maybe about
a week or two later, and so I booked the flight.
We hit a great time and we started to I
guess we started to date again when I went to
visit her, and we knew how that ended before, as
long as it's not at all, so again I said
(45:00):
fuck it. Uh to Forty days later, I packed all
my ship and moved to Michigan. Oh my god, Wow,
you were in love, my friend. You were love? Yeah,
And so I went from me, you went from the
beach to Michigan. Yeah, for love finds out it's cold,
um yeah um but uh so yeah, So I went
(45:25):
and and I rented a van because I my car
was a piece of crap, and I took my dog
and went to Michigan on a whim. We were there
about me, oh yeah, oh no, yeah, I moved here here,
I am no, no, I gave up everything. So she
wanted you to move there and you did? Yeah? Uh so,
(45:49):
um so what happens? Did we stay in Michigan another
six months? And she's like, I don't want to do
another Michigan winter. Let's get out of here. So she's
from here, and so it wasn't too hard called the
make really, so we moved back. So I moved all
my crap and my dog and my girlfriend all the
same time. Or six months later back to California. Wow,
(46:09):
same van. No, no, we bought a car while we
were out there, the same van. No. Great. Actually, now
she you're doing a lot of things for this woman.
I hope that she is appreciative of of of all
the life changes you're making. For one thing, I didn't
tell you, and it sounds crazy, I bought an engagement
ring way before I moved to Michigan or to back
(46:33):
to California. I'm sorry, before I moved to Michigan. I
had bought an engagement ring, prepared to ask her to
marry me at some point, and you'd chickened out the
whole time you were there, dude. Huh oh you asked,
did you ask her while you were in Michigan? I did.
I got the engaged ring, moved to Michigan, and uh
asked her to get married. And then we ended up
(46:53):
moving back to California, all our families so not back
to California. Um. Nine months later we got married. So
and uh now we have a beautiful two year old boy.
Um and uh yeah, I mean that's that's that's my
story of of I did the craziest thing I've ever
(47:15):
done in my life and going back to saying that's
she's done anything great for me. She gave me a
beautiful to old boy has a happy ending. I was
worried because sometimes Joel throws at us a really sad ending,
and this had a beautiful ending. I thought, you're gonna
be like and then she fucked my best friend and
(47:36):
I was okay with it, you know, like sometimes Joel
throws those at up. So I wonder how they're doing.
I wonder how they're doing. I know, Joel, I want
to check in on them because I really hope that
he's had his turn and he can tell us about it.
Oh please don't follow up with them. But no story,
I know. But Julian, we love a happy ending, a
(48:00):
romantic story. And you did you You gave up your
whole life for love and it panned out. That's beautiful.
It's one of those things where I grew up a
romantic and I don't really know the phrase, but there
was all I watched a lot of those movies where
it's like hopelessness romantic and well there's well it doesn't
it doesn't always work out. But in your case, you
really stepped out on a limb. You really, you know yourself.
(48:23):
You made yourself so vulnerable and and it worked. You know,
It's it was just scaring I've ever done, of course,
well until having a child. Yeah, let me know about
how long were you got How long were you guys
dating when you decided to ask her to marry you?
Not long at all? Well, I mean it was like
six months maybe less than that, eh, but he if that,
(48:46):
But I mean I've known her since we were twelve,
and you, guys, I know you guys have been together
since then too, You got a baby together and everything
you both to living in California again. That's a wonderful thing, man,
it really is. I don't know how we can fix
your life because your life feels like it's is pretty
darn great. Is there anything you need fixing? There? There
is a fix my life that does have to do
(49:07):
with my son. Actually, Okay, Donald, it's time for Garden Grove,
California's favorite segment. It's time too, fi yo life excited
for that? Okay, So my parents and my brother watch
(49:30):
my son while my wife and I are at work,
and I've actually come to pick up my son. And
eventually you found out that my brother's teaching my son
that dresses or for girls and blue with for boys
and all this macho masculine bullshit that I don't want
the toxicity. And my my son adores my brother, and honestly,
(49:53):
I don't really want him around him, just because he
he's this anti progressive, honestly very homophobic, and it tears
me to bit. It's just the shreds that um. But
this is happening, and I have nowhere else to go.
I have nowhere to I don't like, we can't afford
daycare and I live in California. Have you spoken to
(50:14):
your brother and said, hey, you know, you know, we
love you and everything, but we don't want you programming
or a child with these beliefs. We actually had a
I wouldn't say discussion. We definitely fought. Um. We went
off on each other about it, and uh, it's it's
just one of those things where he's he thinks he's
rights and his generation was right and this and that
blah blah blah, and just I don't I don't know
(50:37):
what to do. Well, you're a bit tangled because you
need to help with healthcare and you can't afford healthcare.
That's not your brother. Um, how old is the child
used too? Okay, well he's a little young probably to
be processing um any of right, yeah, right, but but
I've already heard him come home. My son will say
things like boys don't cry. Yeah, and I tell him,
(51:04):
I who told you that? And obviously everyone denies it,
but now knowing saying like my son was wore a
little blanking he said my new dress, and my brother
corrects him like, no, boys don't wear dresses. And then
we went off on a tangent about it. I don't
know what I'm supposed to do. That's really tricky because
you're if your brother's not respecting your wishes, Um, it's
(51:27):
really disrespectful from him. But at the same time, you're
you're a bit stuck because you need the healthcare help.
Excuse me, you need be a daycare help. What do
you Joel Daniel Donald any ideas what to help him.
I wouldn't bring my kid around my brother. That's just
how I would. That's just how I would handle it.
And I know it's fucked up for my brother, but
(51:48):
I don't. I don't want my kids having any type
of prejudice or yeah, or he's kind of doing it
to himself, like if I take my son away from
but that's that's his that you know, it's clear that
your brother does love your son. Yeah, but you know
it's not his place to it's not his place to
(52:10):
to to do that to It's not his place to
educate your son on with his beliefs, you know what
I mean, It's not his it's not his place to
do that. So especially when especially when you best, especially
when you very specifically has said don't do that and
he's still doing it. Yeah, like that's a that's gonna
(52:30):
be a note in the words Randy Jackson, that's gonna
be a note for me, dog like straight up, like
you gotta, I would not bring my child around that person,
Daniel Joel any thoughts I think personally, you know, you
might have to make some sort of like quote unquote
financial sacrifice in this department to make your point to
(52:51):
your brother, because right now it's only words until you
take action, and the action needs to be you will
not see my child again if you keep talking this way,
I will remove my child from your life. I will
remove you from my life if you cannot respect this
very basic wish to you know, simply be accepting of
other people and be progressive in the in the in
(53:14):
the most basic way, you know what I mean, And
so and and this might mean that until your brother
comes around, you might have to pay for daycare in
some fashion. And I know that's tough, and I know
it's going to be like you know, I don't know
if it's an extra shift or I don't know if
it's you know, selling some three D printed Mandalorian helmets
(53:34):
or whatever it is, like something Yeah, maybe Hey, you
know what you can do? Do Do you do? Do you
stream on Twitch? You ever heard of twitch? Maybe you
should stream some Oh shit, we forgot to stream with
freaking Dan or the other night. It's okay, I do
it every day. I do it every day or Wednesday, Friday, Sunday.
We'll work it. We'll work it out. He's got so
pissed off you could tell he's so sorry. It's okay,
(53:58):
it's okay. The way this is jum right now, I
want to watch. Am I allowed to comment? And will
you see my coms? Of course? Yes? I supposed to
make it rain dude. It's okay, it's okay. This is
about Julian right now. One second, one second, we have
to rectify this. Yeah, sorry, Dan, it's okay. It's really,
(54:20):
it's really truly. Get on tonight and take you private Friday.
Oh boy, take we're gonna make You're gonna take you
private and make your long story long story. Sure. Are
we allowed to say things on your Twitch stream like
show us your butt? Yes? Of course you can say
(54:42):
whatever you want anyway. Julian, I think you know, unfortunately,
there might be a little bit of self sacrifice here
and that if you want to make the point. You
have to just do it. Do it. It can't be like,
well we need this, it's like, yeah, you need it,
you need to get it from somewhere else. Yeahl's right.
By the way, if you if you, if you fire
a warning shot and like say, oh, sorry, well now
(55:03):
you're I have to I have to punish you in
so many words. Uh and and and you know, for
a month, hire a babysitter. And and maybe and maybe
that will sort of say, oh shit, he wasn't fucking around,
like I'm gonna I'm gonna correct myself. Maybe. Yeah, all right,
you're welcome. You're welcome, Julian, Julian, I'm gonna be honest
with you. That's a tough one because families and and
(55:26):
uh and beliefs and everything like that that you know,
these are the things that break families apart. Uh yeah.
But most but most important, you sound like a very
good father who wants to raise a very open um
kind child. And applaud you liberating as hell to get
toxicity out of your life. Yeah, I agree, and I'm
(55:49):
definitely trying. You know, when you when you get when
you get a lot of toxicity out of your life
and get rid of the toxic people in your life.
And then one shows up. You're like, whoa, I don't
have this in my life anymore. You stand out like
a sore thumb. Yeah right, it's true. I'm excited, but
I just it makes me sad, but I'm excited to
move on. Yeah, I think that's I think that's healthy
(56:09):
for you, my friend. All right, Uh, we did Julian.
Thank you so much for coming on and we really
appreciate you, and congrats on your beautiful love story. Thank you.
Thank you guys for having me. Of course, that's take
care well, thank you Julian. Ladies and gentlemen, give it
up for Julian sent them. That's right, sentinental. I don't know.
(56:38):
I like Julian sentimental. That's funny. Yeah, um, all right,
we did it, guys. I think we did another fun adventure.
That's all we have to say. We have new merch
in the merch store. There's some cool T shirts. There's
one of Joel. It's a beautiful artist rendition of our
of our podcast Queen Respect. You can put it on anything.
I realize that you can put it on a onesie.
(57:00):
Last night, so I was I was putting it on
a onesie. I don't even have a child to give
it to you. I just wanted to see what Joel's
face would look like on a onesie. Silly love it?
Water bottles coming soon? Yeah, and the water bottles are
coming soon. Um. All right, guys, we love you, we
appreciate you, and we hope you had a smile today. Donald,
(57:21):
what are those numbers? You love someone? Stories? Not sure?
We made about a bunch of doctor nurses and jann
I said, here's the stories. Never should so gado? Around here?
Are yadoo around here? Are respect for you? M
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