September 7, 2021 • 62 mins
On this week's episode, Carla worries about whether she can still get pregnant, and JD doesn't like that his girlfriend says "That's so funny," instead of laughing. In the real world, we're getting ready for the live show! Go to www.OnLocationLive.com/FakeDoctors to get your tickets!
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, everybody, just starting off the show right away to say,
this is the week, the big week you've been waiting
for tickets. Get your tickets. Get your tickets. The link
is in our bios. You can go to on Location Live.
That's what it's called, right Joel. And it's this Thursday.
This Thursday, everybody, we are doing a live show with
(00:20):
Johnny c McGinley. And I think we've got two special guests.
Now I haven't told I think the second surprise to yourself. No,
I think this, you know, the first special guests. I
think the second one I'm going to keep as a
surprise for you. I'm going to work it out with
Joel and Daniel, but I want to surprise you with
a special guest. Wow. Well then all I gotta say
is be sure to get your ticket. Yes, don't you
(00:46):
miss it. Don't you miss it, don't you miss it? Yeah,
go to onlocation uh live dot com. And it's going
to be this Thursday, nine nine. By the way, if
you're on the East coast of the United States of America,
it's going to be nine nine at nine. Uh. Yeah,
there you go. And a lot of you international folks
(01:08):
are asking me, Hey, I can't stay up that late? Um?
Can I listen? Can I watch it the next day? Yes?
You can watch it for up to a week after, right, Joel, Yes,
just grab it, get a ticket and you can watch
it whenever you want for up to a week after. Um,
that's it. Click on the link in our bios or
(01:28):
go to onlocationlive dot com. See you Thursday. Can't wait?
How much do you think I need to offer the
ice cream truck man to give me some hours off
of the melody? Are you really? Is it really an
issue like that? Is it truly a listen? Somebody once
said that no is just the beginning of a conversation,
(01:51):
and I feel like his insistence on playing pop goes
the Weasel twenty four seven is the beginning of a
conversation between he and I may make a suggestion, go
ahead if you can somehow get a petition going. That's
a lot of work. I know, a Crisp Undy, How
(02:12):
much time does it? Crisp Hundy guests not gonna get
you much. He's gonna be like. The reason why I
keep it on is because when people walk by, they
automatically think, oh, I want ice cream. It's summer, right,
it's in New York right now. It is bro But
I think we could come to some sort of arrangement
like how about you play it at the top of
(02:33):
the hour for five minutes, Pop goes the weasel, bam,
everybody come and get it. Uh huh, and then and
then when you're parked there all day, you don't keep
it on a loople. I'm worried, frankly about the entire
neighborhood sanity. I feel like the real solution is get
him additional songs, alternating music stuff. So is not what
(03:00):
would be on the song, what's in the what are
in the ice cream truck? What's in the catalog for
ice cream truck? The catalog? I don't know, but I
don't understand. I'm i'm, I have so many questions, like
does his rig have other songs? M he's just choosing
(03:24):
like he's sitting there like, hell, let me see uh
coming around a mountain. No, it would be great if
he had some of our songs, like well, what you
trying to get into? But in that ice cream truck
bound do do Do Do Do Do Do Do? Yeah,
(03:46):
that would be amazing. Do do Do Do Do Do
Do Do Do Do I'm sure. I'm sure I'll eventually
zone it out, you know, like I used to. I
grew up next to a train track, and you know, eventually,
have a certain amount of time you never even hear
the trains, and when you occasionally did, it was kind
of nice. I'm thinking that maybe, you know, I just
(04:07):
moved back to New York. I haven't been here since
before the pandemic, and I'm thinking that eventually I'll just
zone out, tune out Pop goes to Weasel. But so far,
I'm very aware of Pop goes to weasel at all. Two?
Do you know the do you know how they do
you know how it is? This is a torture technique
they use on people? Yes? Yes, do you know how?
(04:30):
Do you know the actual lyrics to Pop goes to Weasel?
Have you gone into the rabbit hole yet? Have you been? Like?
But I got binoculars and I stare at the truck
and I'm like a hit man. I stare at the
truck and when I walk by sometimes I look at
the tiny little wire that goes to the to the
pa um you know speaker. Okay, I see how easy
it would be to clip you know, if I had
(04:51):
like some head shears. I could I could just sort
of reach and got reaching here. Now you can't do
anything because you'd be snitching on yourself if anything happens
to this poor guy's ice cream truck. Now, people are
gonna be like Zach Braft did that shit. No, I'm
gonna be like, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
snip that fucking wire and then I'm gonna leave him
an crisp hundy and envelope and say this is for
(05:13):
wire repair. Come get some ice cream, Come get some
ice cream. Hey, come get some ice cream. You want
(05:34):
some fucking ice cream? I know you fucking want it.
You want come come get some ice I do like it.
I like it. That could be a fucking rock ballat
just Power Chords. You fuck you want some ice cream
you want to get Come get some ice cream. I'll
(06:00):
drizzle hot chocolate on it, all around them, all around
your ice cream. I'll dribble chocolate on it. Oh kids,
come get some ice cream. Yeah, all right, we've taken
it too far. That's these areas. Um, Hey, I miss you,
I love you both. We don't have Daniel here today. Everyone, Um, so,
(06:23):
no one will say Zach, I love you. Oh sorry,
Ron Button, you honor me, you you honor you know
I had I've had a lot of technical issues already.
You had technical issues in the beginning. Yeah. Yeah. And
Daniel's not here. I know it's a sign. I bet
he's probably riding that poll right now, trying and get
(06:43):
some money. How about your boy to baby he came
crashing down this week, huh. I don't. I don't even
I haven't even paid attention to what he said. The
baby decided to go full like horrible homeward. I saw today.
I saw today. He's finally like someone got to him
and he's like, I apologize. I didn't even see what
(07:06):
he said, but like he was doubling down, canceled on him.
Everybody was canceling him. Do Elipa took the fucking song,
the number one song that they have together down Lallapaloosa
kicked him off there like he can't perform here anymore.
I don't know anything about the baby other than that
song I've been listening to for like a half a
year with du Alipa um and I like it when
(07:27):
he goes do Alipa with the baby. But I never
knew anything about him, and man did he He fucked up.
He stepped in it, and he didn't even apologize really
until someone someone got to him and said, bro, you're
losing all your show. The half asked apology, Let's be real,
He was like, I needed education to know he was there,
free breathes. He esucation as a tool to not reoffend,
(07:49):
but you cannot use education as an excuse to have
originally offended somebody, like and it's ridiculous, Like you can't
believe what he said, Donald, I'm not even listening. We
don't sense ourselfing pious. I'm not even repeat what this
fucking dude said at his concert. You gotta read and
it's so fun up. It was like, really, he just
(08:10):
started saying the most homophobic and saying shit at his
concert And uh, I don't know what kind of education
he needs to learn that that's horrible to say. And
then his did you see his first attempt an apology
to well, it wasn't an apology. It was like it
was it made it worse. What do you say? Basically,
(08:30):
he was saying, like, um, gay people love my show.
They know they I mean, I'm trying to say it
without saying the shit he said. But he was like,
they don't they don't have Yeah, basically he was Basically
he was saying all this horrible stuff about gay people
and AIDS, and then in his apology he was like, my,
(08:52):
my gay fans know what I'm talking about. They don't
have AIDS. They're clean, they're not They're not like that.
What Yeah, that by the way, by the way, by
the way, by the way, I'm making it even better
for him, like you gotta. I don't really want to
talk about on the show because I don't want the
words to come out of mouth. But read what this
fucking dude said. Do Alipa with the Baby. I can't
(09:16):
listen to that song anymore, really, but you can listen. Yeah, okay,
that's done. I'm gonna listen to the original do Elippa.
Don't worry. I know you're an avid listener. Do Elippa.
I'm gonna listen to the one before the remixpart on board.
Um yeah, I like Elipa. Should we get into the show, baby,
we should totally get into the show. I do miss you. No,
you don't. I don't feel it. I don't feel it either.
(09:38):
From you. I've been lifting, I've been staying big for you.
I found a gym. Where are you going? I'm not
trying to tell you, but we'll edit it out. I'll
tell you off the air twenty ears. We'll edit it out.
What well, now you're taking my ship. My ship was
so good that it's no longer mine. I got people
on my Instagram call me t ears, and I don't
know how I feel about it. No, don't. By the way,
(10:00):
t ears is really tears, and that's what I feel
and saw when you call me. All right, let's get
into it, Joel. Did you hear our time one hundred thing?
Donal and I did. I saw that you did it.
I haven't listened to it. Don't worry about it. I
(10:22):
just can't believe it. Like you know, I just can't
believe that people close to us don't even listen to
our ship. Donald, I didn't listen to it. The woman
who brought me into this world is demanding my attention
for a full well. She slid into my DMS, that woman,
So you tell her she sure did? She sure did.
I confirmed it with her. She was like, yes, it's
me something I turned off my DMS by the way.
I don't want to hear it from anybody ever again.
Why it seems reason because stupidly I was bored, you know,
(10:47):
occasionally and reading dms from strangers, which are ninety nine
percent wonderful and those of you who used to dm me,
I love you and thank you, but occasionally you'd read
a troll and it was like putting me in the
worst move, and I was like, why the fuck am
I reading this? Like why am I reading this? And
I have to It's like a cognitive behavioral thing. I
have to like remove the thing, like otherwise I will
(11:11):
still do it. I'll be sitting there pooping, going hey,
I'll check stranger dms and then I'll read I have
to remove the thing, right, So I just turned off
the ability for people I don't follow to dm me.
I'm sorry some of you were delightful, but we'll just
be imaginary. That's how I gain weight, dude. Man. It's
like I'll buy a bunch of junk food and I'll
look at it and I'll be like, the only way
(11:31):
this works is if I remove this from the house
and then I'll eat it. Yeah, exactly and exactly. It's
like now that it's gone, I'm good, and then I'll
go out and get it again. That's a behavioral technique.
You just you remove the thing that's causing you the harm.
I never have sugar in the house. I just can't.
I'm a crack addct with it. Although it's funny, it's
harder being in New York as opposed to being in
(11:52):
LA because when you when no, when you when you
h what do you call a delivery? Whatever? Delivery at
you use postmats. It's here in two seconds, so like
you can be like stoned here, Like I want Ben
and Jerry's. The other night, I was like I needed
Ben and Jerry's right. So I go on the app
and I'm like, um, three pints of Ben and Jerry's. Right.
(12:15):
Guy rings my bell. I go, okay, you can just
um leave it in the elevator, thank you so much.
I buzz them in. Elevator comes up. There's just three
stacked pints of Ben and Jerry's in the elevator. That's
just like Benson. Dude, that ship is like Benson, and
you're just oh my god, that shit is just like Benson.
But it's like but it's but you don't even but
no contact with no contact, Benson, Like, that's what it
(12:38):
feels like. Put in the elevator, and in the elevator,
it's like when you're sick in bed and you ring
the bell but it didn't mean yes, and they slide
it under the door. Yes, but dude, it's here in
seconds because everything's everything around the ground is New York City.
So it's like my ice cream took the elevator up alone,
(12:59):
all right? Six seven stories about shore. We made a
bunch of nurses stories. Never should so yet around here, yeah,
around this ship was hilarious. Season five. Season five is
(13:28):
the funniest season I think so far, Right, I think
I have to say I think I have to say
that season five. I know we talked about it being
slightly whackier. I think it's the funniest season so far
so far. Yeah, so far. It doesn't have the most
heart though, so far, even with even with Judy and
the baby and everything like that. So far, season five
doesn't have the moments like seasons one through four have had,
(13:52):
where your where you're gonna sorry. I think there's I
think there's some We'll get there. And by the way,
I'm just judging by how many notes I take down,
Like I take notes obviously when I laugh or when
I think something's an interesting conversation for the fans that
are listening and for us, and I just find a
season five, I'm taking like five people, so we won't
even get to all this stock because I'm going, that's hilarious,
(14:15):
that's so funny, Oh my god, that was great, what
the hell you know? And I'm just crying. I can
only judge by the anecdotal evidence of how many notes
I take that I'm I'm personally finding this season to
be so fucking frank, I'm laughing out loud pretty much. Yea,
every every few second, not seconds, I'd say every thirty
forty seconds. I'm laughing. There's a laugh, there's a chuckle,
(14:37):
there's a laugh, or I do Julie's favorite line, that's
that's so funny. That's actually pretty by the way, you know,
people have pointed out that we say that's so funny,
or at least I do definitely on this podcast all
the time, and I think you do too. And it's
definitely a comedy writer thing because they're they're around humor
so much. That's often they're sitting in the room, and
(15:00):
they might they're digesting someone's joke pitch, and they'll be like,
that's very funny, that's very funny, but they're not necessarily
laughing because they're kind of just like dig And I wonder, right,
I wonder if that came you're you're you're doing your
own writer's room now, so you know, but I wonder
if that came from Bill in the writer's room of
people being people like digesting someone's funny pitch and being like, yeah,
(15:21):
that's very funny, that's very funny. And then well, why
the fuck aren't you laughing because I'm thinking about it,
I'm digesting it. But I do that all the time
on here, Like I may have laughed and when I
watched it on the show, but then you and then
you then you remind me of the joke, and I'm like, yes,
that's very funny, that's funny, but it's funny. People have
pointed out to me, like, you know, you say that's
so funny all the time in the podcast, and that's
the thing your character hates about Julie oh Way, Mandy's great.
(15:46):
I have to say she did such a great job,
and I think, you know, I'm gonna say, I wish
we had had her on now. I'm sure she would
have come on, um because you know, we're friendly and
I could have asked her and I didn't. But maybe,
well maybe we have her on another time. But special episode.
She um she really? Uh was she? You can't say
she's not a good comedian. She was. She was. Actually
(16:10):
she was very funny. She did uh the pratfall with
the fucking popcorn. I'll make more. I love I just
love the I love the character of like a beautiful
clutz that's just so falling off the deck. Let's get
into the show, dude, Let's get to we're gonna talk
about the deck. Who built the deck? Dude? Who? First
(16:32):
of all, I bought a half ac or what a
let's let's build just for the audience a girl I
barely know, Like it's brand new. It's one thing to
be like, oh my god, let's get you know, I
don't know what. Let's buy something small together, like that's
a big enough stuff. This isn't even cohabitation yet, but
this is like, oh, let's buy a plot of land together,
(16:52):
which is really weird, very weird, and then let's just
build a deck on it. Well, all we can afford,
I assume was the deck. Who built the deck? Dude, Well,
I hired a contractor. I'm sure I don't know that
any anyone in the history of the world has ever said, Hey,
I can't afford the house yet, so let's just build
a front board. Already the show starts off already, and
(17:14):
you're like, all right, this is this is out there already,
and then can you imagine that? Can you imagine there's
a plot of land next to your house and and
it's empty, and somebody comes and builds a deck like
the doing dude, right, just we talked about it in
the show The neighbors automatically the next door neighbors fucking
hate you, but you play poker with them. They invited
(17:35):
you to poker, but they hate you. Yes, they hate you.
And then on one side they offer to sell me
their baby. What neighborhood is where on one side, on
one side they're like super yuppies, right, and on the
other side they're like trying to sell me their baby.
It's a very nice Yeah, totally totally. That sounds like
that nice. It was definitely nice. It would probably a
(17:58):
valley village where we shot at that man engine and
then um ya van Nys is probably more accurate. And
then Mandy does it very as you said, Donald, very
funny backwards fall off the deck that there's no way
she did, because that's a definitely dangerous stunt that a
stunt woman did, because that's how you break a spine
if you don't know what the fuck you're doing. Because
(18:19):
that woman, that woman, whoever she is, I mean, obviously
she hit a map, but she went backwards in a
chair off a deck, which is totally dangerous. Yes, for all,
so you could laugh people that are listening, well, the
tag was great. Also, I ate what did she say?
I ate glass? Oh did she say there's or something
(18:43):
like that? Anyway, by the way, Jenny doesn't even get
up to help her. What the fuss there? Can you
imagine your lover falls off backwards off a deck and
you don't get up. He just sits there like that's
a nightmare, just waiting for the just waiting for the
I can't. That's a nightmare of mine. But that's not
even when the that's not even when the freak when
the opening starts. Oh, it's no, there's so much more
(19:04):
so Carlo, I know this cold open its long, so long.
Carla really wants a baby, right, Yes, and somehow she
upsets the janitor. Yes. Now everyone cringes when they hear
the period. All the men cringe when they hear and
it's true. I must admit it's so immature. But I
think whenever a period does come up, you sort of
(19:24):
I sort of cringe a little bit. And I don't
want to know too many specifics. In fact, when when
when Casey was filling us in on how the whole
tampon things works, I don't even know it. I really don't.
I don't even know a lot of that, like the
the disposal, the removal. I don't really know too much.
I'm a fake doctor and my my knowledge around the
men sees cycle is limited, is what I'm saying. Yeah,
(19:46):
that's how I tune out when that shit happens. That's
how ye When, if ever, Casey doesn't want me to
jump on top of her and wants a sex break,
all she has to say I got my period, and
I'm like, oh, yeah, that shit left. That shit last
three weeks. Guys, like she's probably live. Casey's had her
(20:07):
period for seven years, so the janitor wants to develop
a baby with gills that he can go treasure hunting. Yes, yes,
And then and then Judy Carla upsets him and he
sweat says, I swear on my unborn fish baby's left
(20:28):
she will pay. Yeah, I forgot what did What did
the janitor do to piss off Judy Carla? He was
talking about how he wants to have kids and made
her No, am I wrong? Jowel Yeah, it's the hot nurse. No.
Later on he does that to get back at her.
That's how she makes her, That's how he makes Oh yeah,
(20:49):
he has revengers that he tells that he has, says,
do you look like young car But I thank him
making her wanting to get pregnant so trivial. Uh, that
upsets I forgot what you know? Usually we watched this,
I watched this right before we go live. But this year,
this week our schedule changed a little bit. So I'm
a smineing rusty of all the things we watched this
last week from yeah, um yeah, Scott Rabbidu, my stand
(21:11):
in has a line we always love that. He's the
one who says, yo, glass man, Now what is glass man?
Is that a thing when you rebound off the backboard
in the NBA, it's made of glass. If it's in
a gym, usually the gym backboard is made of it's glass. Like, oh,
so that's a real term, glass man. I mean yeah, sure, Uh,
(21:35):
it's a great it's a great nick it's a great
nickname for somebody who is like you could call somebody
Winds in the NBA, and that's a good nickname because
they clean the glass, you know, they clean the boards.
So that's a regular thing that that that good rebounders
have nicknames related to glass. Yeah. So like Mtumbo was
Mountain Mtumbo because he could block the shot. Uh you
(21:56):
know what I mean, let's not related as a glass No,
what was Dennis Rodman? So glass related? No, he was
the worm because he was slippery and could get to
the he could get a rebound easily. Like glassman is like,
it's just it's it's not a bunch of like you
don't use it for everything. I just used that as
a as a as another version of what glass is.
(22:18):
What glass means. You know, who used to often break
the backboards before they made them unbreakable. A young man
named Darryl Dunkin he had. He had a bunch of nicknames.
What were those nicknames? Do you know? Um the Chocolate
thunder and um and glass Breaker, the Doctor Duncan Stein
I think was one of them. Dude, he passed away.
(22:38):
I don't know who ever decided God rest the soul.
I don't know Daryl du I don't know who ever
decided in the NBA to stop having the glass the
backboards be breakable. But when I was a child, that
was very I used to go to nets games because
that was my father loved it. I had zero interest.
I was just like the snacks and Duncan the mascot.
I'd always always be looking for Duncan and my father
(23:01):
would scream and it would be embarrassing and that was
the experience, and I'd get ice cream. But um, I
do remember how fun it was when Daryl Dawkins would
break shit. Yeah he did. He did it a couple
of times. Shack did it a couple of times too.
There are a few players that did it. Michael Jordan's
done it, um, but not in the NBA, but like
at a charity game anyway. So let's get back into
the show. Let's talk about Mickey. Okay, Yeah, Turk wants
(23:26):
to eat ribs while having sex. Yeah, that sounds like you.
You might like. No, I don't know how to eat ribs.
That's too messy. But you love ribs and you love sex.
I'll do two things, both of those things. It's like
remember those old school res peanut butter commercials, like you
got your peanut butter, my chocolate. You've got your chocolate
and my peanut butter. Do you remember those? You know
who loves like you? You love ribs and you love
(23:47):
sex with your wife. Yeah, it sounds like perfect for you.
It does. Okay, McCann it kills though, Okay, now the
lot comes out of Mhad's character gets a giant jump
forward in this episode. We learned that his wife was
killed and he's a person of interest but he but
he's also got a sexy nurse on his lap, so
(24:08):
he's not really mourning. No, and she died like a
week ago. No. Yeah, And then later he does get
dragged away by the cops, but well, there's also him
trying to convince Julie to hide the hammer for him. Yes,
poor innocent, poor innocent Mandy Moore is taking the hammer
and being like, sure, I guess I can hide this
(24:28):
for you. So he did it. I mean I remember
it being a bit nebulous if if, if mick Head
was the killer or not. But this is pretty clear
that he did it. I mean, why is he asking
Mandy Moore to hide his hammer? I think he totally
did it. I think he totally did it. But it
doesn't stick. I guess maybe he gets off because he's back,
he gets off. Maybe maybe the cops, maybe the cop man.
(24:50):
Well I know why, because Mandy Moore's fingerprints are all
over the hammer. Well, didn't you wipe it down? Note?
Didn't you wipe the hammer down with your sleeves? Yes?
I did with my with my stup top. Okay, all right,
we'll be right back after these quick words, we'll be
right back. Don't don't don't panic. You right back, and
(25:14):
we're bad, bad. So the guy in Ecologist is so handsome,
and he's by the way, he's a very handsome man,
and I have to say that sometimes. Of course, as
we all know, people that are this beautiful aren't always
the best actors. I thought this guy did a very
fine job for being a character whose sole purposes. Oh
(25:36):
my goodness, Ye're so handsome. Absolutely, and he comes back.
He's on the show. He comes back on the show
a couple of times. Okay, well, it's a very funny.
Runner Jordan is obsessed with getting paps mirrors. She says
she has a lot of Papa because she she I
get I don't think as I understand it, a peraps
mirror is not a comfortable things. Not eleven times, but
(26:00):
it's gone quite a few times. Also, oh my god,
Sarah Chalk, by the way, I texted her after I
watched this because we were texting about something else, and
I said, by the way, I hope you're not getting
tired of me saying this, but this fucking episode. You
are so funny. Her and Judy were great in this episode.
Of course, it's we should mention that it's Judy's episode.
We tried to get her. I don't know what to
come on. What happened Juel? She ignored this. Judy does
(26:21):
not even this happens last time too, where I think
maybe like I emailed her and she's like, oh I
just didn't see it. So hopefully that's oh, well, we
have Judy on. We gotta get Jude on this Anyway,
this is the episode that Judy. Because Judy's always so
great on this podcast, we want to have her back.
But anyway, this is the episode. It's called Her Story two.
It's the time that Judy does the narration. What are
you laughing at? I swear I'm not. I'm just happen
(26:47):
to be in a good mood. Are you? Are you
annoyed by my Sarahtony, I'm not annoyed at all. I'm
very happy. This is exact all. All right, So look,
so it doesn't last long. If you want to do
this in an hour, I'm surebably can't. I got to
go back to I gotta go back to my writer's room. Okay,
I was kidding. It was a joke, Zach. Carla turns
into storm. That ship was hilarious. When okay, when the
(27:09):
janitor says, you know who that is? We should go back.
So the guy's handsome. The girl's really handsome too. She
did a great job, Nurse Martini. Yes, but when the
janitor says, you know who she minded me of? That
re minded me of a young Carla. And then Judy
turns around and Carla turns into storm. Yeah, that shit fire.
(27:33):
And now wait, whose storm? I mean, I knew it
was a Marvel thing, right, or say, of the X Men,
she is the black female like head of the X Men.
Sometimes she's the leader, but oftentimes she's sort of just
like main dude's right hand lady. But she's she's dope,
she's she's also a queen from who plays her in
the halle Berry Player And I don't know who the
(27:54):
young hallie. I don't know who the young lady is
that plays her now, but halle Berry played her originally anyway,
but I've never seen one, dude. Oh man, they're they're
I've never seen an X Men. We don't yell, they're
not the best. The logan, the logan is really good.
And uh days of the first x Men? Uh, what
is the first class? That one's fire x Men first class.
(28:17):
But you heard MICHAELA. Cole might be playing her in
the new Black Panther, right, because that was what I
was about to say, because she connects to Black Panther. Uh,
the two of them, the two of them are yeah, dude, dude, Yeah,
she is incredible. I'm so happy that I hope she
gets her big Marble or whatever it is payday because
(28:38):
she's a fucking extraordinary talent. Mhm yeah, um, Judy. By
the way, the effects of this were really well done.
Um you know Scrubs. We weren't a big V effects show,
and sometimes when we did them they looked man like
that butterfly. But this was really well done. You shattering
looked great. I remember this. I remember shooting this up.
(29:00):
So I remember at the end when you're when Mandy
runs is over in the corner crying. I remember my
point of view from it. I don't remember ever watching
this episode, but I remember shooting it and to see
the opposite side. I remember I was standing there and
making jokes while the two girls ran over, and I
remember that the camera was over there, and to see
(29:20):
all of that was was crazy. You know why I
remember it too because of you know, one of my
most favorite h action stars ever in in any movie,
I talk about, you know, Billy d Williams more than
I should. You know what I mean, Like, no, you don't.
(29:42):
You in all seriousness, it was very significant for you.
You said when in the Star Wars universe there was
this African American hero, right, and it really like it
puts you because there was a black guy in Star
Wars is more like the fact that he just spoke
you know, you know, Billyde's African American. That that was
(30:03):
dope too. But just to finally see a black face
in Star Wars was amazing. And also not just that,
not just that, he was also freaking like one of
the dopest pilots in the universe. And then when Harrison Ford,
when Harrison Ford's character is removed, they use him as
that character to show you that it could work, you know,
and that was really dope. You know, like a lot
(30:25):
of people, we don't talk about that enough. To be
honest with you, They removed the Han Solo character and
in place is Lando Calrissian, and you learned to love
this character. By the end of the movie. You're like, dude,
I love this dude, you know what I mean? And
that's that's that's really important. And it was a black
guy and they don't really talk about that enough, and
(30:48):
George isn't given enough credit for that. Also because when
Glenn Turman was on the show, he told us that
story of how he was up for Han Solo and
the reason why it didn't work was because you know,
there's gonna be a white princess Leia, and America is
not ready or the world's not ready, I should say
for that. And uh, and he really, you know, showed
(31:08):
you you could be ready for it, if you really,
if you really just close not close your eyes, but
if you really just fell in love. I don't know
how to put this, man, if you really just he
put it in the movie and it made it. It
made the movie twenty times better. Also, like, just look
at the things that Billy Dan Williams does in this
in this show where he get his reaction to me
(31:30):
going Lando Calarissian. If you watch The Empire Strikes Back,
he has so much expression in the movie and gives
so much freaking His performance is masterful, you know what
I mean. It's one of my favorite movies ever. Obviously
you can tell. But to have him on the show
and to have that performance and to know that, you know,
this could work, Uh, you could have a black action
(31:53):
hero somebody who does all of the things that the
white guy does, you know. To have that in the
in that movie and then to have him on the
show was just like beyond incredible. So my reaction, but
my reaction is sincere. That's not me acting. That's me
fucking for real, for real, screaming at the fact that
I'm in a scene with Billy D williams Akland. They
(32:16):
did they? If I was directing this episode, I would
have made sure to hide him from you. Did they hide?
No? No No? No, you see him? He was in our face.
He was in my face the whole time, you know
what I mean. I was just seeing that Quentin Tarantino hid.
Uh what's his name? That amazing German actor who played
the Nazi in Glorious Bass. Crap, this is annoying German?
(32:41):
Or look up Christophe Waltz. Yeah, Christoph Waltz. Yes, isn't
he German? Am I right? Yes? Anyway, he's an extraordinary actor.
And I was read on the interwebs recently that Tarantino
didn't include him in rehearsals because he didn't want anyone
getting to know him. He wanted him to come on
set in his fucking Nazi uniform and scare the shit
(33:03):
out of everybody. And I just thought that was really cool.
Austrian German. Yes, Billy D. So there he is. It's
a seminal moment for you. This I just wanted to
finish all your what you said by saying, what a
what a what a beautiful paragraph for the case for
(33:24):
inclusion of all different types of people in the superhero world,
because little boys like you grow up going I see myself.
I mean, it's the ultimate articulation of that. You seeing
Billy D in a movie and having it make you
want to become an actor and making you feel like
you could achieve your goals. That's really fucking awesome. Yeah.
(33:46):
The only thing that for a while I was pissed
off that he was a two bid hustler. But hey man,
that's cool. I remember being so mad. I remember being
so mad and so caught up in the fact that
he was a twopid hustler. But when you think about it,
so is Han Solo, you know what I mean. It's
like there was the same character, but because Billy D
(34:07):
was that, you know, it's it's the same story arc,
but Billy D even comes in, you know, Lando even
comes in as a noble man. You know, he's the
leader of this big ass city. You know, we're getting
so off topic, but I know I don't care what Listen,
that's our specialty. Listen, let's get back to it and
say Um, there's so much going on in this episode.
(34:28):
There's the sex Gong, I mean thinking things in this episode.
There's like there's like ten things that people love about
Scrubs that that we get referenced. There's including Lando and
the deck. There's the sex God. Yeah, buddy, and now
you have extraordinary hearing. So funny. Anyway, by way, this
was so funny when Mandy Moore, who's you know, up
(34:53):
to this point was known as sort of an UM
an innocent actress and an innocent singer. UM that we
had her banging on the fucking wall to fake like
she's having sex and she goes shot up and taking
you stupid bitch. That was hilarious. I remember even thinking
(35:14):
at the time as her boyfriend, I were thinking, like, yes, Mandy,
go for it. That was awesome. Um, that was hilarious.
And now you have incredible hearing. Yeah. Wait, don't get
to kay yet. You have incredible hearing. I ring the
sex gog and you go, yeah, and it's back at
our old apartment. He then so then Carla has the
(35:38):
voice over UM obviously as we said, and then she
disses you somehow, and I go, don't listen to her
brown bear. Your body's fierce like Tay Digs and that
that that became. I don't know if I improve that
or not, but that was totally improv d That became
a running thing of me to this day when you
(35:59):
look good, saying you look like I told tags about
this shit. He laughs about it. He thinks it's funny.
Of course, Why would Tay Diggs not love the fact
that we're using him as an icon of a handsome man.
He is handsome. Still, He's not Donald fas On, no
offense tag Joel, just Joel, just let out by Joel,
(36:21):
just let it up. Oh yes, I'm gonna keep it
one hundred. I'm gonna keeping one hundred. I think I'm
a handsome man. Like look, come on, I still got
a baby face right, yeah, but still beautiful. That is
one handsome dude him Yeah, Idriss Albam, them too is handsome.
That's like handsome handsome. Yes, but it's all if you.
That's if you like really hot man. I like them.
(36:44):
I like I like my men A strong with the
dad bought you baby, thank you. I love you so much. Man.
I don't want to address Elba. I don't want to
ride indres el butt and y illegal, I want to you.
(37:06):
Oh oh, you're making me blush, although if Indusable was like,
get on, you're riding me just once real, just once
real quick? Um all right, so uh okay, so then
ta Diggs Okay. Now I apparently was jad was called
(37:27):
Joanna until he was three. Yes, learn yes, um. And
we also learned that Jordan says something very outrageous that
they're at the bar, and she says one of those
boys could be the baby I gave up in high school,
which is one of those scrubs one liners that might
(37:49):
just zip by you and you don't really do the
math and figure it out. But she's saying that she
can't flirt with one of those boys because there's a
chance one of them that it's the sl She doesn't
go there's a certain age that she doesn't go below
because because she doesn't know whatever whatever happened to that
child that she gave up in high school, and she
doesn't want to ask. That is so dark, but the
(38:13):
hardest I laughed the whole fucking episode when Sarah I
somehow reveals yeah, but she reveals that she's she's a
little bit by jazz drunk, gets drunk where she gets
drunk to lesbian. Oh my god, dear listener, if you
want to know what makes me laugh, go watch this
(38:33):
episode and watch Sarah drunk in the bar, leaning on
the bar, going so, Carol, do you like jazz? Yeah?
I do? Really? How much do you like? Jess? I
videotaped that ship. I video taped it off my laptop
and sent it to Bill and was like, he goes,
(38:55):
why are you setting this? I go, because how fucking
funny is it? Sarah playing someone who gets by when
they're drunk, hitting on a woman named Carl, asking her
if she likes jazz, and Sarah's face She's like, so,
Carol do you like jazz? And then the woman nods
and she goes, you do much? How much? For some
(39:25):
reason in the whole episode that was crying. I literally
went back and videotaped it on the screen to show Bill. Um,
so uh okay, so we have before we get to
an intervention, we gotta get to this meme. I've seen
(39:45):
or I've seen the scene either on YouTube, but somehow
it popped up on The Hangovers. Hangovers I think of
it all the time made me laugh very that still
makes it laugh so hard, Like it's the perfect articulation
of and if you're twenty five, I was listening to this.
You think we're joking, but that that display of going
around a table showing people at four different ages, and
(40:07):
how I hangover hurts the next day, Like Mandy's the
young one, and she's like, hi, morning, and then Sarah's yeah,
Sarah's next, Sarah's next, and she's like, please, Sarah's hurts
a little bit, please stop talking. And then Jude's and
then barely able to keep it together. Yeah, and then
and then Jordan's like asleep with glasses. Yeah, she's not
(40:28):
even like she's just she's like comatose with glasses on
and shakes her Jordan Rooney, Jordan delicious. A hangover is
no joke anymore. Donald, we're in our forties. It's like, uh,
it's it's like a two day It's like a two
day experience. If you go big. I get nervous when
I don't get a hangover. Now, how about that? What
do you mean? Like if I drink and I don't
(40:50):
get a hangover, I'm like, did I drink last night?
You know what I mean? You can't remember no, like
if I don't get a like sometimes you sometimes I
drink and I drink water. You know, also when I
drink and so I won't have a hangover the next day. Now,
it's always a refreshing thing, but I'm always worried, like,
wait a second, but did I drink last night? Because
(41:11):
also remember Casey wants to give us these like it
was such an old person thing. Casey's like, here, y'all
put this patch on and the patch was like vitamins
and stuff like that. The pat I mean, I'm sure
some of you listening I've seen this before. But it's like,
if you know you're gonna go have a big party night,
you put this patch on your skin, and it's like
giving you whatever nutrients so you don't get hung over.
(41:33):
I don't even know if it's psychosomatic or it really works,
but I remember we all it was like such an
old moment. We're all going out one night, like like
you know something maybe before the pandemic, and Casey's like,
all right, we know we're gonna have a big, big
night and she's passing out patches for us to put
on our skin. That should work, though, man, I just
had to taste in my mouth though. That was the
(41:54):
only thing like it. I had, like a vitamin taste
in my mouth after like the next day. I don't
think that does anything. I guess I don't know. I mean,
if I V does, why can't this Because IVY is
what you need, which is hydration. I don't know if
the patches of creation, I mean they've got all of
these powders now that are out that you can hydrate
yourself with. I don't know that this thing in La.
You know, you can come and have a hire a
guy in New York too. I'm sure it's to come
(42:18):
give you an IV. Thinking about doing that because there's
no but listen, here's the here's the thing though you
call the IVY guy. Yeah, but that's from drinking. That's
from drinking. I'm talking about Like, look, dude, you can
drink a lot of water and still be dehydrated. You
know what I mean. There's it's there's more to it,
and so an IV is actually hydrating your system completely,
(42:43):
like to the utmost where you can't, like you, there
are people that drink gallons and gallons and gallons of
water right and piss it all out, and so you
know what I mean, right, this is right into your
bloodstream water. I've never done that, by the way, I
want to think also, no, you've done that hungover and
got an IV got an ivy after working out? You
(43:13):
know that. Um. I think we've mentioned this on the show,
but there was an old wives tale that doctors listening
or nurses listening. You might know if it's true or not,
but that when doctors were so hungover that they would
start an IV line on themselves, put the baggy under
their armpit, right, and then put the jacket on and
(43:34):
walk around and be just slowly squeezing it as they
walked around. The story is true because I told a
lot of people it was. We've heard that, we heard that,
We did hear that. I think JD said that was
a real thing, the real JD. But um, I don't know.
Maybe maybe in two thousand and twenty one that's frowned
upon more than back in the day. But no, man,
there you can they they labeled the thing as for
(43:57):
the perfect hangover, like nobody's going out now, But I
guess people are drinking, and if you want to, I
guess people are going out. Did you see that freaking
concert and where was that? People around? People around? Did
you see that? Shit? I ain't trying to yo. People
(44:20):
are out in New York, but um, it's all in
the streets. Every every restaurant has a little hut built
in front of it where you can go, uh, you know,
drink and eat and so it's outside. I mean some
people you can choose to eat inside, but I'm not
doing I'm not eating inside. It's I imagine it's a
lot tougher in New York too, because that is a
city where you eat out pretty much every night, right,
(44:43):
But I'm saying you're not inside like you can you
can have your meal, you know. Now every single restaurant
has outdoor seating because they've been able. They're allowed to
take over parking spots in front of the restaurant, so
they've built a deck, you know, with walls, so everybody's
got outdoor seating. Now, can I just say, okay, let's
(45:04):
get back to the show. Can I just say one thing?
And I know it's cutting to the end, but the
Doctor Dad plot thickens. Did you catch this? The Doctor
Dad musical is hilarious. Did you catch the how the
plot thickens? Though? Yeah? Because Kelso's son, yes, is has
written a musical about about his father called Doctor Deaths
(45:27):
Very that's that's successful. It's it's clear now that is successful.
It's really doing well where it is. It's like in
province doing it's doing very, very well. But and yes,
go ahead, you can reveal Kelso's son is now dating
the man the gentleman playing dead doctor Dad. Y lines
(45:52):
have been blurred. The lines have been blurred. No, no,
we need someone to one day, right like write an
essay that tracks every single thing that's happened to Kelso's son,
because it just gets more and more crazy. But yes,
Kelso's son is sleeping with the star of his musical,
(46:13):
Doctor Dad, the man playing Doctor Dad. Okay, um, right
now we reveal so there's we have an intervention, right
because I'm a committophobe. First of all, it's such bullshit
(46:34):
that JD would not want to commit to Julie. She's amazing,
she's perfect for him. I had a lot of trouble
with this plot point, just because she says that's so funny.
I know that. Then there's an intervention and his friends
are like, you're just making up a bullshit reason because
you're a committophobe. And then he finally says it, says
all the right things, says, no, you are awesome and
you're amazing, and you're beautiful and you're funny and you're
(46:56):
you're a dream girl. And she's like, whoaa, calm down,
I don't even know if I want commitment and babies
in marriage right, And he's like, what now? What now? Yeah,
I think Uncle Buck was a great choice to try
and get that so funny. That's one of the funniest
movies in my lifetime. I've never seen. I've never seen
Uncle Buck. I'm sorry it might be dated now, but
that's one of the you never see you should have seen, Joel.
(47:17):
Joel looked at me as though, I said, I'm hurt, hurt,
I've never seen Uncle Buck. Do I need to watch it?
It'll hold up. I don't know if it holds up.
I haven't seen it, and I haven't seen it in
a couple of years. But that is whoa. It's Macaulay
Halkins and what we choose, that's what John Candy is
is plays Uncle Buck like it's it's a the John
(47:40):
Hughes movie, Like, what the fuck, dude, you've never seen
Uncle Buck, I've never seen it. I think it holds up.
It has been a minute. It's like I can't understand, guarantee.
But the kid, I'm the dude who played the Boy
who Could Fly is the bad guy in it. You
ever seen the Boy who Could Fly? Zach never saw
the boy? You guys never seen a boy who could fly?
(48:01):
Oh my goodness, we don't have down here on your mic. Sorry,
but if you're Donald Donald, I have to get the
babies back on their store. You got this. You know
who the star the Boy who Could Fly is? Yo,
it's freaking up. Oh my gosh. Uh. It's the dude
(48:24):
from The Boy who Could Fly and from the Facts
of Life, the one who played Natalie. She's one of
the stars of this movie. You never really you've never seen. Wait,
her name is on the tip of my tongue. What
is it? Mandy Cone is also one of the star
You've never seen The Boy who Could Fly? Calm down,
I'm gonna write it down. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Okay, I'm in.
(48:51):
How about the flashback to your girlfriend Whitney the Snapper
and she's like, ah lah leave now. Yeah, but you
but that's a she was a beautiful young woman. Anybody
was kicking her out because she was a snapper. Snap.
We can still do it only in a TV show.
Jad breaking up with with Mandy Moore because she says,
(49:13):
that's so funny. But actually the real reason at the
end is more believable that she'd be like, Oh, I
don't want anything you're talking about. Yeah, I'm glad you
brought it up. I don't know that I want marriage,
and Jad's already thinking about it and she's not at
all I know. But again it was a little like, so, dude,
it's so early, you bought a deck together, Like, calm
(49:35):
down at all. But this is when my producer head goes, oh,
clearly Mandy could only do two episodes. It goes back
to the first It goes back to the first one.
It's a two parter. Elliott warned you that this is
going to happen. You get you're a committable, you go
in too deep too, I know, but I tried, bro,
I tried to commit it to this one. Yeah, and
she said, she said, you went too fast. You did
(49:57):
go too fast at the end. Ultimately, at the end,
you've gone to Yeah, he's sort of a dick to
her at the end. I mean, he says that joke.
That's so mean. He's a dick to her the whole time.
What does he say? She fell off the deck and
he doesn't even go to help her. He was a
dick the whole time. No, there's like a um, there's
(50:21):
something like I go, I go, But she's not saying
that's so funny now or something like that. By the way,
who says this, Ask him if he remembers me from
my pelvic exam about the hot kind of cultures? That
shit that Sarah says, that shit. She goes, tell tell
him if he remembers me from my pelvic exam. As
Judy's walking in, and she yells it again. Yeah. And
(50:44):
then and then when when in the context when she says,
I like to keep a clean shot, right, that's right.
So she's so, she's they're having a conversation about about
She goes, so, let me tell you about my first exam.
He's down there, and I'm like and and he says this,
And then I look at him and I say, well,
I like to clean keep a clean shop. And then
(51:07):
he looks at me and says but it was her
describing that shit was so funny, Sarah. There's something about
the way Sarah's vocal and intonation is in this episode
that's just being extra funny. I can't do it. But
she's like, well, I do like to keep a clean shot, right,
She's she's she's amazing. She's so funny. Chris, what about
(51:29):
Christa's showing up in in the school girl outfit? Yeah,
with pigtails? Call me j J. I really got to
tell you, man, I feel like Judy did an excellent
job as the shed the storyteller this episode. You know, um,
(51:50):
and I think I think, I think Bill thought this
could work and it and it didn't. But because it
was it's once it's taken out of the main characters,
maybe the audience didn't buy it. But it seems like
(52:10):
when watching the show, if you're a part of this
group and you do the voiceover, it works, you know
what I mean, all of us it worked, you know
what I mean? It really did. It's a great conceit. Yeah. Um,
But when we went into season nine, for some reason,
people had a hard time. Well it's a big ass.
I mean, I think if you designed season nine again,
(52:33):
you might give it. I understand the reasoning. It's the
story of a young kid coming into the world. That's
so people responded to him. But I think, you know,
there might be some thought to like having it be
you right, yeah, why why? Um n y, you know,
like you know what I mean. Oh yeah, of course
anybody or Neil. Neil was gone. But you know what
(52:54):
I'm you know what I mean, Like it's like, it's like,
I think that's where it put too much on Carrie
Biche sure shoulders. She's a wonderful actress and very, very talented,
but there was just so much history with all of us, right,
and you're asking the audience to embrace a new character
(53:15):
that they didn't just spend eight years with and they're like, no,
fuck this, which I understand with this much hindsight. The
show ends with the legendary Carrie Brothers song Ride, which
is a really, really good song, which will end the
show with today. I also want to say that the
way the show also ends is metaphorically is great too.
(53:38):
JD is having this dilemma and all of these people
rushed to his aid to help him with this girl.
Carla really has the big dilemma, you know, what I mean,
She's the one that's really going through it. JD is
going through something that he didn't want to be with
the girl anyway, and they wound up breaking up. You
(53:59):
know what I mean. Carl is really going through it.
There's a possibility that because of her age, she might
not be able to have kids. And when Jad's talking
and he's telling everybody about what happened with Julie and
Carla is not paying attention, and she goes up to
him and goes, you're doing don't let this one get
(54:23):
away whatever. She says, this one's a keeper and runs off.
It really does put in perspective. You know, this dude's
going through so much, but it's really trivial compared to
what she's going through in a lot of ways. You know. Yeah,
but it's all relative. I mean, you really can't compare
as apples to Orange is no doubt, but no, but
I'm saying, like, I hear what you're saying, but it's
(54:46):
unfair to compare anyone's whatever the tragedy in someone's life
is to somebody else's, you know, it's all I have
these moments where I'm you know, whining to a man
decludes about something and I catch myself and I go,
oh my god, I feel so stupid. I'm complaining about
this to you. Look at what you've gone through. And
she's like, no, that's you. Can't think of it like that.
Everyone's life is, everyone's problems are relative. And I'm sitting
(55:07):
here and I'm and I want to help you, and
I want to advise you with whatever's going on with
your life, and just like you advise me. And so
you know, it's all we all, we all have to
be there for each other. Some people's problems in the
macro will, of course be way greater than others. But
it's a good thing to remember. It's a good thing
to remember when you're complaining about some bullshit like an
ice cream truck and then there's people sleeping on the street.
I heard that. That's real talk. But I'm still gonna
(55:30):
snip that fucking w I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna leave
him with chrisp Pondy and be like, sorry, this is
for repairs next week. Next week, all right, let's go
to break. We're gonna go to break, and we'll be
right back with Donald phase on. Hey, and we're bad
(55:55):
and We're bad, and nobody Little Oh the Mom and
no Little Oh the Mom and Lambda Lambda lamb oh,
maga move Hey guys, Dan and Daniel fucked up. Yeah,
(56:16):
it's just that simple. What really happened was that our
collective team that never fucks up finally decided to fuck up.
I decided to make it. I feel bad for the
caller that is the recipient of your fuck up. They
probably told all their friends and family they were going
to be on fake Doctor's real friends. But guess what
you're not on tonight, You're not on today. I'm so
sorry Joel and Daniel how to mix up about who
(56:39):
was recording what? Daniel I wasn't there, So okay, up,
it's all me, all me, I own it. Well, had
an audio mix up and did not record the poor
caller who's told all their friends and family they were
gonna be on fake Doctors. You better send them some GTS,
kambucha or something. I will, I will see, I will
get them something. You better. Will you please take the
(57:00):
iHeart credit card and get them something, Because if you
don't want to buy, appreciate, will you can buy? They
can buy me something. Give them a Hyundai for God's sakes. Well, anyway,
we're very we're very sorry to you, the audience and
the caller because we just don't have the audio. It
doesn't exist. Um, Joel, you never mess up, but you
(57:23):
did well. I'm gonna say I'm gonna I'm gonna say this.
It'll be a very interesting show. But I don't fault
Joel for it. I fault Daniel for not being there
for Yeah, it's my fault. I file got corrupted in
place of where the caller, in place of where the
caller would go. We're now going to play the Casey
song because it's a Bob Casey come down here and
(58:00):
on that note, all right, we love you guys. On
that note, we love you. Where do they buy T shirts?
Joel tell them there's all sorts of merch in the shop,
Cotton Bireau. You type in fake doctors and it's gonna
pop right up, y'all dope shirts. So many of you
have sent me so many, like sweatshirts and like little
T shirts with my face on it. That's wild to me.
You can buy a Joel Monique onesie for your child.
(58:22):
There's all sorts of cool stuff. You go to cottonbier
dot com and then search for fake doctors and you'll
see all our wacky, silly merch um. We love you,
we care about you. Be safe, be kind, Donald, respect, respect.
He's right and here to play us out is the
amazing Carrie Brothers with his song Ryan you w Everything
(59:07):
one time, the sky all never toose. You were to
say my tonight. If I told you reasons why you
(59:28):
leave your life right right you sigh? Oh my pieces
(59:55):
broken this time I could never show told you say
my heart. And if I told you reasons why you
(01:00:17):
leave your line right right right, so say stars, briss work,
(01:01:38):
You'll be your alive
Hey, everybody, just starting off the show right away to say,
this is the week, the big week you've been waiting
for tickets. Get your tickets. Get your tickets. The link
is in our bios. You can go to on Location Live.
That's what it's called, right Joel. And it's this Thursday.
This Thursday, everybody, we are doing a live show with
(00:20):
Johnny c McGinley. And I think we've got two special guests.
Now I haven't told I think the second surprise to yourself. No,
I think this, you know, the first special guests. I
think the second one I'm going to keep as a
surprise for you. I'm going to work it out with
Joel and Daniel, but I want to surprise you with
a special guest. Wow. Well then all I gotta say
is be sure to get your ticket. Yes, don't you
(00:46):
miss it. Don't you miss it, don't you miss it? Yeah,
go to onlocation uh live dot com. And it's going
to be this Thursday, nine nine. By the way, if
you're on the East coast of the United States of America,
it's going to be nine nine at nine. Uh. Yeah,
there you go. And a lot of you international folks
(01:08):
are asking me, Hey, I can't stay up that late? Um?
Can I listen? Can I watch it the next day? Yes?
You can watch it for up to a week after, right, Joel, Yes,
just grab it, get a ticket and you can watch
it whenever you want for up to a week after. Um,
that's it. Click on the link in our bios or
(01:28):
go to onlocationlive dot com. See you Thursday. Can't wait?
How much do you think I need to offer the
ice cream truck man to give me some hours off
of the melody? Are you really? Is it really an
issue like that? Is it truly a listen? Somebody once
said that no is just the beginning of a conversation,
(01:51):
and I feel like his insistence on playing pop goes
the Weasel twenty four seven is the beginning of a
conversation between he and I may make a suggestion, go
ahead if you can somehow get a petition going. That's
a lot of work. I know, a Crisp Undy, How
(02:12):
much time does it? Crisp Hundy guests not gonna get
you much. He's gonna be like. The reason why I
keep it on is because when people walk by, they
automatically think, oh, I want ice cream. It's summer, right,
it's in New York right now. It is bro But
I think we could come to some sort of arrangement
like how about you play it at the top of
(02:33):
the hour for five minutes, Pop goes the weasel, bam,
everybody come and get it. Uh huh, and then and
then when you're parked there all day, you don't keep
it on a loople. I'm worried, frankly about the entire
neighborhood sanity. I feel like the real solution is get
him additional songs, alternating music stuff. So is not what
(03:00):
would be on the song, what's in the what are
in the ice cream truck? What's in the catalog for
ice cream truck? The catalog? I don't know, but I
don't understand. I'm i'm, I have so many questions, like
does his rig have other songs? M he's just choosing
(03:24):
like he's sitting there like, hell, let me see uh
coming around a mountain. No, it would be great if
he had some of our songs, like well, what you
trying to get into? But in that ice cream truck
bound do do Do Do Do Do Do Do? Yeah,
(03:46):
that would be amazing. Do do Do Do Do Do
Do Do Do Do I'm sure. I'm sure I'll eventually
zone it out, you know, like I used to. I
grew up next to a train track, and you know, eventually,
have a certain amount of time you never even hear
the trains, and when you occasionally did, it was kind
of nice. I'm thinking that maybe, you know, I just
(04:07):
moved back to New York. I haven't been here since
before the pandemic, and I'm thinking that eventually I'll just
zone out, tune out Pop goes to Weasel. But so far,
I'm very aware of Pop goes to weasel at all. Two?
Do you know the do you know how they do
you know how it is? This is a torture technique
they use on people? Yes? Yes, do you know how?
(04:30):
Do you know the actual lyrics to Pop goes to Weasel?
Have you gone into the rabbit hole yet? Have you been? Like?
But I got binoculars and I stare at the truck
and I'm like a hit man. I stare at the
truck and when I walk by sometimes I look at
the tiny little wire that goes to the to the
pa um you know speaker. Okay, I see how easy
it would be to clip you know, if I had
(04:51):
like some head shears. I could I could just sort
of reach and got reaching here. Now you can't do
anything because you'd be snitching on yourself if anything happens
to this poor guy's ice cream truck. Now, people are
gonna be like Zach Braft did that shit. No, I'm
gonna be like, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
snip that fucking wire and then I'm gonna leave him
an crisp hundy and envelope and say this is for
(05:13):
wire repair. Come get some ice cream, Come get some
ice cream. Hey, come get some ice cream. You want
(05:34):
some fucking ice cream? I know you fucking want it.
You want come come get some ice I do like it.
I like it. That could be a fucking rock ballat
just Power Chords. You fuck you want some ice cream
you want to get Come get some ice cream. I'll
(06:00):
drizzle hot chocolate on it, all around them, all around
your ice cream. I'll dribble chocolate on it. Oh kids,
come get some ice cream. Yeah, all right, we've taken
it too far. That's these areas. Um, Hey, I miss you,
I love you both. We don't have Daniel here today. Everyone, Um, so,
(06:23):
no one will say Zach, I love you. Oh sorry,
Ron Button, you honor me, you you honor you know
I had I've had a lot of technical issues already.
You had technical issues in the beginning. Yeah. Yeah. And
Daniel's not here. I know it's a sign. I bet
he's probably riding that poll right now, trying and get
(06:43):
some money. How about your boy to baby he came
crashing down this week, huh. I don't. I don't even
I haven't even paid attention to what he said. The
baby decided to go full like horrible homeward. I saw today.
I saw today. He's finally like someone got to him
and he's like, I apologize. I didn't even see what
(07:06):
he said, but like he was doubling down, canceled on him.
Everybody was canceling him. Do Elipa took the fucking song,
the number one song that they have together down Lallapaloosa
kicked him off there like he can't perform here anymore.
I don't know anything about the baby other than that
song I've been listening to for like a half a
year with du Alipa um and I like it when
(07:27):
he goes do Alipa with the baby. But I never
knew anything about him, and man did he He fucked up.
He stepped in it, and he didn't even apologize really
until someone someone got to him and said, bro, you're
losing all your show. The half asked apology, Let's be real,
He was like, I needed education to know he was there,
free breathes. He esucation as a tool to not reoffend,
(07:49):
but you cannot use education as an excuse to have
originally offended somebody, like and it's ridiculous, Like you can't
believe what he said, Donald, I'm not even listening. We
don't sense ourselfing pious. I'm not even repeat what this
fucking dude said at his concert. You gotta read and
it's so fun up. It was like, really, he just
(08:10):
started saying the most homophobic and saying shit at his
concert And uh, I don't know what kind of education
he needs to learn that that's horrible to say. And
then his did you see his first attempt an apology
to well, it wasn't an apology. It was like it
was it made it worse. What do you say? Basically,
(08:30):
he was saying, like, um, gay people love my show.
They know they I mean, I'm trying to say it
without saying the shit he said. But he was like,
they don't they don't have Yeah, basically he was Basically
he was saying all this horrible stuff about gay people
and AIDS, and then in his apology he was like, my,
(08:52):
my gay fans know what I'm talking about. They don't
have AIDS. They're clean, they're not They're not like that.
What Yeah, that by the way, by the way, by
the way, by the way, I'm making it even better
for him, like you gotta. I don't really want to
talk about on the show because I don't want the
words to come out of mouth. But read what this
fucking dude said. Do Alipa with the Baby. I can't
(09:16):
listen to that song anymore, really, but you can listen. Yeah, okay,
that's done. I'm gonna listen to the original do Elippa.
Don't worry. I know you're an avid listener. Do Elippa.
I'm gonna listen to the one before the remixpart on board.
Um yeah, I like Elipa. Should we get into the show, baby,
we should totally get into the show. I do miss you. No,
you don't. I don't feel it. I don't feel it either.
(09:38):
From you. I've been lifting, I've been staying big for you.
I found a gym. Where are you going? I'm not
trying to tell you, but we'll edit it out. I'll
tell you off the air twenty ears. We'll edit it out.
What well, now you're taking my ship. My ship was
so good that it's no longer mine. I got people
on my Instagram call me t ears, and I don't
know how I feel about it. No, don't. By the way,
(10:00):
t ears is really tears, and that's what I feel
and saw when you call me. All right, let's get
into it, Joel. Did you hear our time one hundred thing?
Donal and I did. I saw that you did it.
I haven't listened to it. Don't worry about it. I
(10:22):
just can't believe it. Like you know, I just can't
believe that people close to us don't even listen to
our ship. Donald, I didn't listen to it. The woman
who brought me into this world is demanding my attention
for a full well. She slid into my DMS, that woman,
So you tell her she sure did? She sure did.
I confirmed it with her. She was like, yes, it's
me something I turned off my DMS by the way.
I don't want to hear it from anybody ever again.
Why it seems reason because stupidly I was bored, you know,
(10:47):
occasionally and reading dms from strangers, which are ninety nine
percent wonderful and those of you who used to dm me,
I love you and thank you, but occasionally you'd read
a troll and it was like putting me in the
worst move, and I was like, why the fuck am
I reading this? Like why am I reading this? And
I have to It's like a cognitive behavioral thing. I
have to like remove the thing, like otherwise I will
(11:11):
still do it. I'll be sitting there pooping, going hey,
I'll check stranger dms and then I'll read I have
to remove the thing, right, So I just turned off
the ability for people I don't follow to dm me.
I'm sorry some of you were delightful, but we'll just
be imaginary. That's how I gain weight, dude. Man. It's
like I'll buy a bunch of junk food and I'll
look at it and I'll be like, the only way
(11:31):
this works is if I remove this from the house
and then I'll eat it. Yeah, exactly and exactly. It's
like now that it's gone, I'm good, and then I'll
go out and get it again. That's a behavioral technique.
You just you remove the thing that's causing you the harm.
I never have sugar in the house. I just can't.
I'm a crack addct with it. Although it's funny, it's
harder being in New York as opposed to being in
(11:52):
LA because when you when no, when you when you
h what do you call a delivery? Whatever? Delivery at
you use postmats. It's here in two seconds, so like
you can be like stoned here, Like I want Ben
and Jerry's. The other night, I was like I needed
Ben and Jerry's right. So I go on the app
and I'm like, um, three pints of Ben and Jerry's. Right.
(12:15):
Guy rings my bell. I go, okay, you can just
um leave it in the elevator, thank you so much.
I buzz them in. Elevator comes up. There's just three
stacked pints of Ben and Jerry's in the elevator. That's
just like Benson. Dude, that ship is like Benson, and
you're just oh my god, that shit is just like Benson.
But it's like but it's but you don't even but
no contact with no contact, Benson, Like, that's what it
(12:38):
feels like. Put in the elevator, and in the elevator,
it's like when you're sick in bed and you ring
the bell but it didn't mean yes, and they slide
it under the door. Yes, but dude, it's here in
seconds because everything's everything around the ground is New York City.
So it's like my ice cream took the elevator up alone,
(12:59):
all right? Six seven stories about shore. We made a
bunch of nurses stories. Never should so yet around here, yeah,
around this ship was hilarious. Season five. Season five is
(13:28):
the funniest season I think so far, Right, I think
I have to say I think I have to say
that season five. I know we talked about it being
slightly whackier. I think it's the funniest season so far
so far. Yeah, so far. It doesn't have the most
heart though, so far, even with even with Judy and
the baby and everything like that. So far, season five
doesn't have the moments like seasons one through four have had,
(13:52):
where your where you're gonna sorry. I think there's I
think there's some We'll get there. And by the way,
I'm just judging by how many notes I take down,
Like I take notes obviously when I laugh or when
I think something's an interesting conversation for the fans that
are listening and for us, and I just find a
season five, I'm taking like five people, so we won't
even get to all this stock because I'm going, that's hilarious,
(14:15):
that's so funny, Oh my god, that was great, what
the hell you know? And I'm just crying. I can
only judge by the anecdotal evidence of how many notes
I take that I'm I'm personally finding this season to
be so fucking frank, I'm laughing out loud pretty much. Yea,
every every few second, not seconds, I'd say every thirty
forty seconds. I'm laughing. There's a laugh, there's a chuckle,
(14:37):
there's a laugh, or I do Julie's favorite line, that's
that's so funny. That's actually pretty by the way, you know,
people have pointed out that we say that's so funny,
or at least I do definitely on this podcast all
the time, and I think you do too. And it's
definitely a comedy writer thing because they're they're around humor
so much. That's often they're sitting in the room, and
(15:00):
they might they're digesting someone's joke pitch, and they'll be like,
that's very funny, that's very funny, but they're not necessarily
laughing because they're kind of just like dig And I wonder, right,
I wonder if that came you're you're you're doing your
own writer's room now, so you know, but I wonder
if that came from Bill in the writer's room of
people being people like digesting someone's funny pitch and being like, yeah,
(15:21):
that's very funny, that's very funny. And then well, why
the fuck aren't you laughing because I'm thinking about it,
I'm digesting it. But I do that all the time
on here, Like I may have laughed and when I
watched it on the show, but then you and then
you then you remind me of the joke, and I'm like, yes,
that's very funny, that's funny, but it's funny. People have
pointed out to me, like, you know, you say that's
so funny all the time in the podcast, and that's
the thing your character hates about Julie oh Way, Mandy's great.
(15:46):
I have to say she did such a great job,
and I think, you know, I'm gonna say, I wish
we had had her on now. I'm sure she would
have come on, um because you know, we're friendly and
I could have asked her and I didn't. But maybe,
well maybe we have her on another time. But special episode.
She um she really? Uh was she? You can't say
she's not a good comedian. She was. She was. Actually
(16:10):
she was very funny. She did uh the pratfall with
the fucking popcorn. I'll make more. I love I just
love the I love the character of like a beautiful
clutz that's just so falling off the deck. Let's get
into the show, dude, Let's get to we're gonna talk
about the deck. Who built the deck? Dude? Who? First
(16:32):
of all, I bought a half ac or what a
let's let's build just for the audience a girl I
barely know, Like it's brand new. It's one thing to
be like, oh my god, let's get you know, I
don't know what. Let's buy something small together, like that's
a big enough stuff. This isn't even cohabitation yet, but
this is like, oh, let's buy a plot of land together,
(16:52):
which is really weird, very weird, and then let's just
build a deck on it. Well, all we can afford,
I assume was the deck. Who built the deck? Dude, Well,
I hired a contractor. I'm sure I don't know that
any anyone in the history of the world has ever said, Hey,
I can't afford the house yet, so let's just build
a front board. Already the show starts off already, and
(17:14):
you're like, all right, this is this is out there already,
and then can you imagine that? Can you imagine there's
a plot of land next to your house and and
it's empty, and somebody comes and builds a deck like
the doing dude, right, just we talked about it in
the show The neighbors automatically the next door neighbors fucking
hate you, but you play poker with them. They invited
(17:35):
you to poker, but they hate you. Yes, they hate you.
And then on one side they offer to sell me
their baby. What neighborhood is where on one side, on
one side they're like super yuppies, right, and on the
other side they're like trying to sell me their baby.
It's a very nice Yeah, totally totally. That sounds like
that nice. It was definitely nice. It would probably a
(17:58):
valley village where we shot at that man engine and
then um ya van Nys is probably more accurate. And
then Mandy does it very as you said, Donald, very
funny backwards fall off the deck that there's no way
she did, because that's a definitely dangerous stunt that a
stunt woman did, because that's how you break a spine
if you don't know what the fuck you're doing. Because
(18:19):
that woman, that woman, whoever she is, I mean, obviously
she hit a map, but she went backwards in a
chair off a deck, which is totally dangerous. Yes, for all,
so you could laugh people that are listening, well, the
tag was great. Also, I ate what did she say?
I ate glass? Oh did she say there's or something
(18:43):
like that? Anyway, by the way, Jenny doesn't even get
up to help her. What the fuss there? Can you
imagine your lover falls off backwards off a deck and
you don't get up. He just sits there like that's
a nightmare, just waiting for the just waiting for the
I can't. That's a nightmare of mine. But that's not
even when the that's not even when the freak when
the opening starts. Oh, it's no, there's so much more
(19:04):
so Carlo, I know this cold open its long, so long.
Carla really wants a baby, right, Yes, and somehow she
upsets the janitor. Yes. Now everyone cringes when they hear
the period. All the men cringe when they hear and
it's true. I must admit it's so immature. But I
think whenever a period does come up, you sort of
(19:24):
I sort of cringe a little bit. And I don't
want to know too many specifics. In fact, when when
when Casey was filling us in on how the whole
tampon things works, I don't even know it. I really don't.
I don't even know a lot of that, like the
the disposal, the removal. I don't really know too much.
I'm a fake doctor and my my knowledge around the
men sees cycle is limited, is what I'm saying. Yeah,
(19:46):
that's how I tune out when that shit happens. That's
how ye When, if ever, Casey doesn't want me to
jump on top of her and wants a sex break,
all she has to say I got my period, and
I'm like, oh, yeah, that shit left. That shit last
three weeks. Guys, like she's probably live. Casey's had her
(20:07):
period for seven years, so the janitor wants to develop
a baby with gills that he can go treasure hunting. Yes, yes,
And then and then Judy Carla upsets him and he
sweat says, I swear on my unborn fish baby's left
(20:28):
she will pay. Yeah, I forgot what did What did
the janitor do to piss off Judy Carla? He was
talking about how he wants to have kids and made
her No, am I wrong? Jowel Yeah, it's the hot nurse. No.
Later on he does that to get back at her.
That's how she makes her, That's how he makes Oh yeah,
(20:49):
he has revengers that he tells that he has, says,
do you look like young car But I thank him
making her wanting to get pregnant so trivial. Uh, that
upsets I forgot what you know? Usually we watched this,
I watched this right before we go live. But this year,
this week our schedule changed a little bit. So I'm
a smineing rusty of all the things we watched this
last week from yeah, um yeah, Scott Rabbidu, my stand
(21:11):
in has a line we always love that. He's the
one who says, yo, glass man, Now what is glass man?
Is that a thing when you rebound off the backboard
in the NBA, it's made of glass. If it's in
a gym, usually the gym backboard is made of it's glass. Like, oh,
so that's a real term, glass man. I mean yeah, sure, Uh,
(21:35):
it's a great it's a great nick it's a great
nickname for somebody who is like you could call somebody
Winds in the NBA, and that's a good nickname because
they clean the glass, you know, they clean the boards.
So that's a regular thing that that that good rebounders
have nicknames related to glass. Yeah. So like Mtumbo was
Mountain Mtumbo because he could block the shot. Uh you
(21:56):
know what I mean, let's not related as a glass No,
what was Dennis Rodman? So glass related? No, he was
the worm because he was slippery and could get to
the he could get a rebound easily. Like glassman is like,
it's just it's it's not a bunch of like you
don't use it for everything. I just used that as
a as a as another version of what glass is.
(22:18):
What glass means. You know, who used to often break
the backboards before they made them unbreakable. A young man
named Darryl Dunkin he had. He had a bunch of nicknames.
What were those nicknames? Do you know? Um the Chocolate
thunder and um and glass Breaker, the Doctor Duncan Stein
I think was one of them. Dude, he passed away.
(22:38):
I don't know who ever decided God rest the soul.
I don't know Daryl du I don't know who ever
decided in the NBA to stop having the glass the
backboards be breakable. But when I was a child, that
was very I used to go to nets games because
that was my father loved it. I had zero interest.
I was just like the snacks and Duncan the mascot.
I'd always always be looking for Duncan and my father
(23:01):
would scream and it would be embarrassing and that was
the experience, and I'd get ice cream. But um, I
do remember how fun it was when Daryl Dawkins would
break shit. Yeah he did. He did it a couple
of times. Shack did it a couple of times too.
There are a few players that did it. Michael Jordan's
done it, um, but not in the NBA, but like
at a charity game anyway. So let's get back into
the show. Let's talk about Mickey. Okay, Yeah, Turk wants
(23:26):
to eat ribs while having sex. Yeah, that sounds like you.
You might like. No, I don't know how to eat ribs.
That's too messy. But you love ribs and you love sex.
I'll do two things, both of those things. It's like
remember those old school res peanut butter commercials, like you
got your peanut butter, my chocolate. You've got your chocolate
and my peanut butter. Do you remember those? You know
who loves like you? You love ribs and you love
(23:47):
sex with your wife. Yeah, it sounds like perfect for you.
It does. Okay, McCann it kills though, Okay, now the
lot comes out of Mhad's character gets a giant jump
forward in this episode. We learned that his wife was
killed and he's a person of interest but he but
he's also got a sexy nurse on his lap, so
(24:08):
he's not really mourning. No, and she died like a
week ago. No. Yeah, And then later he does get
dragged away by the cops, but well, there's also him
trying to convince Julie to hide the hammer for him. Yes,
poor innocent, poor innocent Mandy Moore is taking the hammer
and being like, sure, I guess I can hide this
(24:28):
for you. So he did it. I mean I remember
it being a bit nebulous if if, if mick Head
was the killer or not. But this is pretty clear
that he did it. I mean, why is he asking
Mandy Moore to hide his hammer? I think he totally
did it. I think he totally did it. But it
doesn't stick. I guess maybe he gets off because he's back,
he gets off. Maybe maybe the cops, maybe the cop man.
(24:50):
Well I know why, because Mandy Moore's fingerprints are all
over the hammer. Well, didn't you wipe it down? Note?
Didn't you wipe the hammer down with your sleeves? Yes?
I did with my with my stup top. Okay, all right,
we'll be right back after these quick words, we'll be
right back. Don't don't don't panic. You right back, and
(25:14):
we're bad, bad. So the guy in Ecologist is so handsome,
and he's by the way, he's a very handsome man,
and I have to say that sometimes. Of course, as
we all know, people that are this beautiful aren't always
the best actors. I thought this guy did a very
fine job for being a character whose sole purposes. Oh
(25:36):
my goodness, Ye're so handsome. Absolutely, and he comes back.
He's on the show. He comes back on the show
a couple of times. Okay, well, it's a very funny.
Runner Jordan is obsessed with getting paps mirrors. She says
she has a lot of Papa because she she I
get I don't think as I understand it, a peraps
mirror is not a comfortable things. Not eleven times, but
(26:00):
it's gone quite a few times. Also, oh my god,
Sarah Chalk, by the way, I texted her after I
watched this because we were texting about something else, and
I said, by the way, I hope you're not getting
tired of me saying this, but this fucking episode. You
are so funny. Her and Judy were great in this episode.
Of course, it's we should mention that it's Judy's episode.
We tried to get her. I don't know what to
come on. What happened Juel? She ignored this. Judy does
(26:21):
not even this happens last time too, where I think
maybe like I emailed her and she's like, oh I
just didn't see it. So hopefully that's oh, well, we
have Judy on. We gotta get Jude on this Anyway,
this is the episode that Judy. Because Judy's always so
great on this podcast, we want to have her back.
But anyway, this is the episode. It's called Her Story two.
It's the time that Judy does the narration. What are
you laughing at? I swear I'm not. I'm just happen
(26:47):
to be in a good mood. Are you? Are you
annoyed by my Sarahtony, I'm not annoyed at all. I'm
very happy. This is exact all. All right, So look,
so it doesn't last long. If you want to do
this in an hour, I'm surebably can't. I got to
go back to I gotta go back to my writer's room. Okay,
I was kidding. It was a joke, Zach. Carla turns
into storm. That ship was hilarious. When okay, when the
(27:09):
janitor says, you know who that is? We should go back.
So the guy's handsome. The girl's really handsome too. She
did a great job, Nurse Martini. Yes, but when the
janitor says, you know who she minded me of? That
re minded me of a young Carla. And then Judy
turns around and Carla turns into storm. Yeah, that shit fire.
(27:33):
And now wait, whose storm? I mean, I knew it
was a Marvel thing, right, or say, of the X Men,
she is the black female like head of the X Men.
Sometimes she's the leader, but oftentimes she's sort of just
like main dude's right hand lady. But she's she's dope,
she's she's also a queen from who plays her in
the halle Berry Player And I don't know who the
(27:54):
young hallie. I don't know who the young lady is
that plays her now, but halle Berry played her originally anyway,
but I've never seen one, dude. Oh man, they're they're
I've never seen an X Men. We don't yell, they're
not the best. The logan, the logan is really good.
And uh days of the first x Men? Uh, what
is the first class? That one's fire x Men first class.
(28:17):
But you heard MICHAELA. Cole might be playing her in
the new Black Panther, right, because that was what I
was about to say, because she connects to Black Panther. Uh,
the two of them, the two of them are yeah, dude, dude, Yeah,
she is incredible. I'm so happy that I hope she
gets her big Marble or whatever it is payday because
(28:38):
she's a fucking extraordinary talent. Mhm yeah, um, Judy. By
the way, the effects of this were really well done.
Um you know Scrubs. We weren't a big V effects show,
and sometimes when we did them they looked man like
that butterfly. But this was really well done. You shattering
looked great. I remember this. I remember shooting this up.
(29:00):
So I remember at the end when you're when Mandy
runs is over in the corner crying. I remember my
point of view from it. I don't remember ever watching
this episode, but I remember shooting it and to see
the opposite side. I remember I was standing there and
making jokes while the two girls ran over, and I
remember that the camera was over there, and to see
(29:20):
all of that was was crazy. You know why I
remember it too because of you know, one of my
most favorite h action stars ever in in any movie,
I talk about, you know, Billy d Williams more than
I should. You know what I mean, Like, no, you don't.
(29:42):
You in all seriousness, it was very significant for you.
You said when in the Star Wars universe there was
this African American hero, right, and it really like it
puts you because there was a black guy in Star
Wars is more like the fact that he just spoke
you know, you know, Billyde's African American. That that was
(30:03):
dope too. But just to finally see a black face
in Star Wars was amazing. And also not just that,
not just that, he was also freaking like one of
the dopest pilots in the universe. And then when Harrison Ford,
when Harrison Ford's character is removed, they use him as
that character to show you that it could work, you know,
and that was really dope. You know, like a lot
(30:25):
of people, we don't talk about that enough. To be
honest with you, They removed the Han Solo character and
in place is Lando Calrissian, and you learned to love
this character. By the end of the movie. You're like, dude,
I love this dude, you know what I mean? And
that's that's that's really important. And it was a black
guy and they don't really talk about that enough, and
(30:48):
George isn't given enough credit for that. Also because when
Glenn Turman was on the show, he told us that
story of how he was up for Han Solo and
the reason why it didn't work was because you know,
there's gonna be a white princess Leia, and America is
not ready or the world's not ready, I should say
for that. And uh, and he really, you know, showed
(31:08):
you you could be ready for it, if you really,
if you really just close not close your eyes, but
if you really just fell in love. I don't know
how to put this, man, if you really just he
put it in the movie and it made it. It
made the movie twenty times better. Also, like, just look
at the things that Billy Dan Williams does in this
in this show where he get his reaction to me
(31:30):
going Lando Calarissian. If you watch The Empire Strikes Back,
he has so much expression in the movie and gives
so much freaking His performance is masterful, you know what
I mean. It's one of my favorite movies ever. Obviously
you can tell. But to have him on the show
and to have that performance and to know that, you know,
this could work, Uh, you could have a black action
(31:53):
hero somebody who does all of the things that the
white guy does, you know. To have that in the
in that movie and then to have him on the
show was just like beyond incredible. So my reaction, but
my reaction is sincere. That's not me acting. That's me
fucking for real, for real, screaming at the fact that
I'm in a scene with Billy D williams Akland. They
(32:16):
did they? If I was directing this episode, I would
have made sure to hide him from you. Did they hide?
No? No No? No, you see him? He was in our face.
He was in my face the whole time, you know
what I mean. I was just seeing that Quentin Tarantino hid.
Uh what's his name? That amazing German actor who played
the Nazi in Glorious Bass. Crap, this is annoying German?
(32:41):
Or look up Christophe Waltz. Yeah, Christoph Waltz. Yes, isn't
he German? Am I right? Yes? Anyway, he's an extraordinary actor.
And I was read on the interwebs recently that Tarantino
didn't include him in rehearsals because he didn't want anyone
getting to know him. He wanted him to come on
set in his fucking Nazi uniform and scare the shit
(33:03):
out of everybody. And I just thought that was really cool.
Austrian German. Yes, Billy D. So there he is. It's
a seminal moment for you. This I just wanted to
finish all your what you said by saying, what a
what a what a beautiful paragraph for the case for
(33:24):
inclusion of all different types of people in the superhero world,
because little boys like you grow up going I see myself.
I mean, it's the ultimate articulation of that. You seeing
Billy D in a movie and having it make you
want to become an actor and making you feel like
you could achieve your goals. That's really fucking awesome. Yeah.
(33:46):
The only thing that for a while I was pissed
off that he was a two bid hustler. But hey man,
that's cool. I remember being so mad. I remember being
so mad and so caught up in the fact that
he was a twopid hustler. But when you think about it,
so is Han Solo, you know what I mean. It's
like there was the same character, but because Billy D
(34:07):
was that, you know, it's it's the same story arc,
but Billy D even comes in, you know, Lando even
comes in as a noble man. You know, he's the
leader of this big ass city. You know, we're getting
so off topic, but I know I don't care what Listen,
that's our specialty. Listen, let's get back to it and
say Um, there's so much going on in this episode.
(34:28):
There's the sex Gong, I mean thinking things in this episode.
There's like there's like ten things that people love about
Scrubs that that we get referenced. There's including Lando and
the deck. There's the sex God. Yeah, buddy, and now
you have extraordinary hearing. So funny. Anyway, by way, this
was so funny when Mandy Moore, who's you know, up
(34:53):
to this point was known as sort of an UM
an innocent actress and an innocent singer. UM that we
had her banging on the fucking wall to fake like
she's having sex and she goes shot up and taking
you stupid bitch. That was hilarious. I remember even thinking
(35:14):
at the time as her boyfriend, I were thinking, like, yes, Mandy,
go for it. That was awesome. Um, that was hilarious.
And now you have incredible hearing. Yeah. Wait, don't get
to kay yet. You have incredible hearing. I ring the
sex gog and you go, yeah, and it's back at
our old apartment. He then so then Carla has the
(35:38):
voice over UM obviously as we said, and then she
disses you somehow, and I go, don't listen to her
brown bear. Your body's fierce like Tay Digs and that
that that became. I don't know if I improve that
or not, but that was totally improv d That became
a running thing of me to this day when you
(35:59):
look good, saying you look like I told tags about
this shit. He laughs about it. He thinks it's funny.
Of course, Why would Tay Diggs not love the fact
that we're using him as an icon of a handsome man.
He is handsome. Still, He's not Donald fas On, no
offense tag Joel, just Joel, just let out by Joel,
(36:21):
just let it up. Oh yes, I'm gonna keep it
one hundred. I'm gonna keeping one hundred. I think I'm
a handsome man. Like look, come on, I still got
a baby face right, yeah, but still beautiful. That is
one handsome dude him Yeah, Idriss Albam, them too is handsome.
That's like handsome handsome. Yes, but it's all if you.
That's if you like really hot man. I like them.
(36:44):
I like I like my men A strong with the
dad bought you baby, thank you. I love you so much. Man.
I don't want to address Elba. I don't want to
ride indres el butt and y illegal, I want to you.
(37:06):
Oh oh, you're making me blush, although if Indusable was like,
get on, you're riding me just once real, just once
real quick? Um all right, so uh okay, so then
ta Diggs Okay. Now I apparently was jad was called
(37:27):
Joanna until he was three. Yes, learn yes, um. And
we also learned that Jordan says something very outrageous that
they're at the bar, and she says one of those
boys could be the baby I gave up in high school,
which is one of those scrubs one liners that might
(37:49):
just zip by you and you don't really do the
math and figure it out. But she's saying that she
can't flirt with one of those boys because there's a
chance one of them that it's the sl She doesn't
go there's a certain age that she doesn't go below
because because she doesn't know whatever whatever happened to that
child that she gave up in high school, and she
doesn't want to ask. That is so dark, but the
(38:13):
hardest I laughed the whole fucking episode when Sarah I
somehow reveals yeah, but she reveals that she's she's a
little bit by jazz drunk, gets drunk where she gets
drunk to lesbian. Oh my god, dear listener, if you
want to know what makes me laugh, go watch this
(38:33):
episode and watch Sarah drunk in the bar, leaning on
the bar, going so, Carol, do you like jazz? Yeah?
I do? Really? How much do you like? Jess? I
videotaped that ship. I video taped it off my laptop
and sent it to Bill and was like, he goes,
(38:55):
why are you setting this? I go, because how fucking
funny is it? Sarah playing someone who gets by when
they're drunk, hitting on a woman named Carl, asking her
if she likes jazz, and Sarah's face She's like, so,
Carol do you like jazz? And then the woman nods
and she goes, you do much? How much? For some
(39:25):
reason in the whole episode that was crying. I literally
went back and videotaped it on the screen to show Bill. Um,
so uh okay, so we have before we get to
an intervention, we gotta get to this meme. I've seen
(39:45):
or I've seen the scene either on YouTube, but somehow
it popped up on The Hangovers. Hangovers I think of
it all the time made me laugh very that still
makes it laugh so hard, Like it's the perfect articulation
of and if you're twenty five, I was listening to this.
You think we're joking, but that that display of going
around a table showing people at four different ages, and
(40:07):
how I hangover hurts the next day, Like Mandy's the
young one, and she's like, hi, morning, and then Sarah's yeah,
Sarah's next, Sarah's next, and she's like, please, Sarah's hurts
a little bit, please stop talking. And then Jude's and
then barely able to keep it together. Yeah, and then
and then Jordan's like asleep with glasses. Yeah, she's not
(40:28):
even like she's just she's like comatose with glasses on
and shakes her Jordan Rooney, Jordan delicious. A hangover is
no joke anymore. Donald, we're in our forties. It's like, uh,
it's it's like a two day It's like a two
day experience. If you go big. I get nervous when
I don't get a hangover. Now, how about that? What
do you mean? Like if I drink and I don't
(40:50):
get a hangover, I'm like, did I drink last night?
You know what I mean? You can't remember no, like
if I don't get a like sometimes you sometimes I
drink and I drink water. You know, also when I
drink and so I won't have a hangover the next day. Now,
it's always a refreshing thing, but I'm always worried, like,
wait a second, but did I drink last night? Because
(41:11):
also remember Casey wants to give us these like it
was such an old person thing. Casey's like, here, y'all
put this patch on and the patch was like vitamins
and stuff like that. The pat I mean, I'm sure
some of you listening I've seen this before. But it's like,
if you know you're gonna go have a big party night,
you put this patch on your skin, and it's like
giving you whatever nutrients so you don't get hung over.
(41:33):
I don't even know if it's psychosomatic or it really works,
but I remember we all it was like such an
old moment. We're all going out one night, like like
you know something maybe before the pandemic, and Casey's like,
all right, we know we're gonna have a big, big
night and she's passing out patches for us to put
on our skin. That should work, though, man, I just
had to taste in my mouth though. That was the
(41:54):
only thing like it. I had, like a vitamin taste
in my mouth after like the next day. I don't
think that does anything. I guess I don't know. I mean,
if I V does, why can't this Because IVY is
what you need, which is hydration. I don't know if
the patches of creation, I mean they've got all of
these powders now that are out that you can hydrate
yourself with. I don't know that this thing in La.
You know, you can come and have a hire a
guy in New York too. I'm sure it's to come
(42:18):
give you an IV. Thinking about doing that because there's
no but listen, here's the here's the thing though you
call the IVY guy. Yeah, but that's from drinking. That's
from drinking. I'm talking about Like, look, dude, you can
drink a lot of water and still be dehydrated. You
know what I mean. There's it's there's more to it,
and so an IV is actually hydrating your system completely,
(42:43):
like to the utmost where you can't, like you, there
are people that drink gallons and gallons and gallons of
water right and piss it all out, and so you
know what I mean, right, this is right into your
bloodstream water. I've never done that, by the way, I
want to think also, no, you've done that hungover and
got an IV got an ivy after working out? You
(43:13):
know that. Um. I think we've mentioned this on the show,
but there was an old wives tale that doctors listening
or nurses listening. You might know if it's true or not,
but that when doctors were so hungover that they would
start an IV line on themselves, put the baggy under
their armpit, right, and then put the jacket on and
(43:34):
walk around and be just slowly squeezing it as they
walked around. The story is true because I told a
lot of people it was. We've heard that, we heard that,
We did hear that. I think JD said that was
a real thing, the real JD. But um, I don't know.
Maybe maybe in two thousand and twenty one that's frowned
upon more than back in the day. But no, man,
there you can they they labeled the thing as for
(43:57):
the perfect hangover, like nobody's going out now, But I
guess people are drinking, and if you want to, I
guess people are going out. Did you see that freaking
concert and where was that? People around? People around? Did
you see that? Shit? I ain't trying to yo. People
(44:20):
are out in New York, but um, it's all in
the streets. Every every restaurant has a little hut built
in front of it where you can go, uh, you know,
drink and eat and so it's outside. I mean some
people you can choose to eat inside, but I'm not
doing I'm not eating inside. It's I imagine it's a
lot tougher in New York too, because that is a
city where you eat out pretty much every night, right,
(44:43):
But I'm saying you're not inside like you can you
can have your meal, you know. Now every single restaurant
has outdoor seating because they've been able. They're allowed to
take over parking spots in front of the restaurant, so
they've built a deck, you know, with walls, so everybody's
got outdoor seating. Now, can I just say, okay, let's
(45:04):
get back to the show. Can I just say one thing?
And I know it's cutting to the end, but the
Doctor Dad plot thickens. Did you catch this? The Doctor
Dad musical is hilarious. Did you catch the how the
plot thickens? Though? Yeah? Because Kelso's son, yes, is has
written a musical about about his father called Doctor Deaths
(45:27):
Very that's that's successful. It's it's clear now that is successful.
It's really doing well where it is. It's like in
province doing it's doing very, very well. But and yes,
go ahead, you can reveal Kelso's son is now dating
the man the gentleman playing dead doctor Dad. Y lines
(45:52):
have been blurred. The lines have been blurred. No, no,
we need someone to one day, right like write an
essay that tracks every single thing that's happened to Kelso's son,
because it just gets more and more crazy. But yes,
Kelso's son is sleeping with the star of his musical,
(46:13):
Doctor Dad, the man playing Doctor Dad. Okay, um, right
now we reveal so there's we have an intervention, right
because I'm a committophobe. First of all, it's such bullshit
(46:34):
that JD would not want to commit to Julie. She's amazing,
she's perfect for him. I had a lot of trouble
with this plot point, just because she says that's so funny.
I know that. Then there's an intervention and his friends
are like, you're just making up a bullshit reason because
you're a committophobe. And then he finally says it, says
all the right things, says, no, you are awesome and
you're amazing, and you're beautiful and you're funny and you're
(46:56):
you're a dream girl. And she's like, whoaa, calm down,
I don't even know if I want commitment and babies
in marriage right, And he's like, what now? What now? Yeah,
I think Uncle Buck was a great choice to try
and get that so funny. That's one of the funniest
movies in my lifetime. I've never seen. I've never seen
Uncle Buck. I'm sorry it might be dated now, but
that's one of the you never see you should have seen, Joel.
(47:17):
Joel looked at me as though, I said, I'm hurt, hurt,
I've never seen Uncle Buck. Do I need to watch it?
It'll hold up. I don't know if it holds up.
I haven't seen it, and I haven't seen it in
a couple of years. But that is whoa. It's Macaulay
Halkins and what we choose, that's what John Candy is
is plays Uncle Buck like it's it's a the John
(47:40):
Hughes movie, Like, what the fuck, dude, you've never seen
Uncle Buck, I've never seen it. I think it holds up.
It has been a minute. It's like I can't understand, guarantee.
But the kid, I'm the dude who played the Boy
who Could Fly is the bad guy in it. You
ever seen the Boy who Could Fly? Zach never saw
the boy? You guys never seen a boy who could fly?
(48:01):
Oh my goodness, we don't have down here on your mic. Sorry,
but if you're Donald Donald, I have to get the
babies back on their store. You got this. You know
who the star the Boy who Could Fly is? Yo,
it's freaking up. Oh my gosh. Uh. It's the dude
(48:24):
from The Boy who Could Fly and from the Facts
of Life, the one who played Natalie. She's one of
the stars of this movie. You never really you've never seen. Wait,
her name is on the tip of my tongue. What
is it? Mandy Cone is also one of the star
You've never seen The Boy who Could Fly? Calm down,
I'm gonna write it down. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Okay, I'm in.
(48:51):
How about the flashback to your girlfriend Whitney the Snapper
and she's like, ah lah leave now. Yeah, but you
but that's a she was a beautiful young woman. Anybody
was kicking her out because she was a snapper. Snap.
We can still do it only in a TV show.
Jad breaking up with with Mandy Moore because she says,
(49:13):
that's so funny. But actually the real reason at the
end is more believable that she'd be like, Oh, I
don't want anything you're talking about. Yeah, I'm glad you
brought it up. I don't know that I want marriage,
and Jad's already thinking about it and she's not at
all I know. But again it was a little like, so, dude,
it's so early, you bought a deck together, Like, calm
(49:35):
down at all. But this is when my producer head goes, oh,
clearly Mandy could only do two episodes. It goes back
to the first It goes back to the first one.
It's a two parter. Elliott warned you that this is
going to happen. You get you're a committable, you go
in too deep too, I know, but I tried, bro,
I tried to commit it to this one. Yeah, and
she said, she said, you went too fast. You did
(49:57):
go too fast at the end. Ultimately, at the end,
you've gone to Yeah, he's sort of a dick to
her at the end. I mean, he says that joke.
That's so mean. He's a dick to her the whole time.
What does he say? She fell off the deck and
he doesn't even go to help her. He was a
dick the whole time. No, there's like a um, there's
(50:21):
something like I go, I go, But she's not saying
that's so funny now or something like that. By the way,
who says this, Ask him if he remembers me from
my pelvic exam about the hot kind of cultures? That
shit that Sarah says, that shit. She goes, tell tell
him if he remembers me from my pelvic exam. As
Judy's walking in, and she yells it again. Yeah. And
(50:44):
then and then when when in the context when she says,
I like to keep a clean shot, right, that's right.
So she's so, she's they're having a conversation about about
She goes, so, let me tell you about my first exam.
He's down there, and I'm like and and he says this,
And then I look at him and I say, well,
I like to clean keep a clean shop. And then
(51:07):
he looks at me and says but it was her
describing that shit was so funny, Sarah. There's something about
the way Sarah's vocal and intonation is in this episode
that's just being extra funny. I can't do it. But
she's like, well, I do like to keep a clean shot, right,
She's she's she's amazing. She's so funny. Chris, what about
(51:29):
Christa's showing up in in the school girl outfit? Yeah,
with pigtails? Call me j J. I really got to
tell you, man, I feel like Judy did an excellent
job as the shed the storyteller this episode. You know, um,
(51:50):
and I think I think, I think Bill thought this
could work and it and it didn't. But because it
was it's once it's taken out of the main characters,
maybe the audience didn't buy it. But it seems like
(52:10):
when watching the show, if you're a part of this
group and you do the voiceover, it works, you know
what I mean, all of us it worked, you know
what I mean? It really did. It's a great conceit. Yeah. Um,
But when we went into season nine, for some reason,
people had a hard time. Well it's a big ass.
I mean, I think if you designed season nine again,
(52:33):
you might give it. I understand the reasoning. It's the
story of a young kid coming into the world. That's
so people responded to him. But I think, you know,
there might be some thought to like having it be
you right, yeah, why why? Um n y, you know,
like you know what I mean. Oh yeah, of course
anybody or Neil. Neil was gone. But you know what
(52:54):
I'm you know what I mean, Like it's like, it's like,
I think that's where it put too much on Carrie
Biche sure shoulders. She's a wonderful actress and very, very talented,
but there was just so much history with all of us, right,
and you're asking the audience to embrace a new character
(53:15):
that they didn't just spend eight years with and they're like, no,
fuck this, which I understand with this much hindsight. The
show ends with the legendary Carrie Brothers song Ride, which
is a really, really good song, which will end the
show with today. I also want to say that the
way the show also ends is metaphorically is great too.
(53:38):
JD is having this dilemma and all of these people
rushed to his aid to help him with this girl.
Carla really has the big dilemma, you know, what I mean,
She's the one that's really going through it. JD is
going through something that he didn't want to be with
the girl anyway, and they wound up breaking up. You
(53:59):
know what I mean. Carl is really going through it.
There's a possibility that because of her age, she might
not be able to have kids. And when Jad's talking
and he's telling everybody about what happened with Julie and
Carla is not paying attention, and she goes up to
him and goes, you're doing don't let this one get
(54:23):
away whatever. She says, this one's a keeper and runs off.
It really does put in perspective. You know, this dude's
going through so much, but it's really trivial compared to
what she's going through in a lot of ways. You know. Yeah,
but it's all relative. I mean, you really can't compare
as apples to Orange is no doubt, but no, but
I'm saying, like, I hear what you're saying, but it's
(54:46):
unfair to compare anyone's whatever the tragedy in someone's life
is to somebody else's, you know, it's all I have
these moments where I'm you know, whining to a man
decludes about something and I catch myself and I go,
oh my god, I feel so stupid. I'm complaining about
this to you. Look at what you've gone through. And
she's like, no, that's you. Can't think of it like that.
Everyone's life is, everyone's problems are relative. And I'm sitting
(55:07):
here and I'm and I want to help you, and
I want to advise you with whatever's going on with
your life, and just like you advise me. And so
you know, it's all we all, we all have to
be there for each other. Some people's problems in the
macro will, of course be way greater than others. But
it's a good thing to remember. It's a good thing
to remember when you're complaining about some bullshit like an
ice cream truck and then there's people sleeping on the street.
I heard that. That's real talk. But I'm still gonna
(55:30):
snip that fucking w I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna leave
him with chrisp Pondy and be like, sorry, this is
for repairs next week. Next week, all right, let's go
to break. We're gonna go to break, and we'll be
right back with Donald phase on. Hey, and we're bad
(55:55):
and We're bad, and nobody Little Oh the Mom and
no Little Oh the Mom and Lambda Lambda lamb oh,
maga move Hey guys, Dan and Daniel fucked up. Yeah,
(56:16):
it's just that simple. What really happened was that our
collective team that never fucks up finally decided to fuck up.
I decided to make it. I feel bad for the
caller that is the recipient of your fuck up. They
probably told all their friends and family they were going
to be on fake Doctor's real friends. But guess what
you're not on tonight, You're not on today. I'm so
sorry Joel and Daniel how to mix up about who
(56:39):
was recording what? Daniel I wasn't there, So okay, up,
it's all me, all me, I own it. Well, had
an audio mix up and did not record the poor
caller who's told all their friends and family they were
gonna be on fake Doctors. You better send them some GTS,
kambucha or something. I will, I will see, I will
get them something. You better. Will you please take the
(57:00):
iHeart credit card and get them something, Because if you
don't want to buy, appreciate, will you can buy? They
can buy me something. Give them a Hyundai for God's sakes. Well, anyway,
we're very we're very sorry to you, the audience and
the caller because we just don't have the audio. It
doesn't exist. Um, Joel, you never mess up, but you
(57:23):
did well. I'm gonna say I'm gonna I'm gonna say this.
It'll be a very interesting show. But I don't fault
Joel for it. I fault Daniel for not being there
for Yeah, it's my fault. I file got corrupted in
place of where the caller, in place of where the
caller would go. We're now going to play the Casey
song because it's a Bob Casey come down here and
(58:00):
on that note, all right, we love you guys. On
that note, we love you. Where do they buy T shirts?
Joel tell them there's all sorts of merch in the shop,
Cotton Bireau. You type in fake doctors and it's gonna
pop right up, y'all dope shirts. So many of you
have sent me so many, like sweatshirts and like little
T shirts with my face on it. That's wild to me.
You can buy a Joel Monique onesie for your child.
(58:22):
There's all sorts of cool stuff. You go to cottonbier
dot com and then search for fake doctors and you'll
see all our wacky, silly merch um. We love you,
we care about you. Be safe, be kind, Donald, respect, respect.
He's right and here to play us out is the
amazing Carrie Brothers with his song Ryan you w Everything
(59:07):
one time, the sky all never toose. You were to
say my tonight. If I told you reasons why you
(59:28):
leave your life right right you sigh? Oh my pieces
(59:55):
broken this time I could never show told you say
my heart. And if I told you reasons why you
(01:00:17):
leave your line right right right, so say stars, briss work,
(01:01:38):
You'll be your alive
Show Links
RingtonesPopular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Nikki Glaser Podcast
Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.