511: My Buddy's Booty

On this week's episode, Elliot begins a relationship with Keith the intern, and Ms. Wilks slips into a coma. In the real world, Hyundai is letting us giving away an actual car. For those in need of a vehicle, apply here: www.FakeDocsHyundaiGiveaway.com.

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, so we have something pretty insane to announce.
I can't believe it myself, but as the fact that
we pulled this off, this car, I cannot. I'm seriously,
you guys, I don't believe this, but it happened. Hunda,
as you know, is one of our sponsors and they
are amazing to work with. And they said to us,
what would you like to do for your fans. Is
there anything like big and bold you'd like to do?

(00:22):
And we said, thinking that they would laugh, we said
we'd like to give them a Hunday and they said,
just like that too, pretty much. We're like, well, let's
just go with the obvious thing. Give someone who needs
a car a car. And they were like, okay, so
we can't really believe it, but Undai is going to

(00:45):
give someone in need of a car a car one
of our listeners. That's right, for real, no doubt. So
you have until Friday, September seventeenth to get your submissions in. Yes,
this is quick. This is quick. Okay, I don't know
why it's quick, but that's what Hunday decided. It had
to be quick. Friday, September seventeenth, at midnight Pacific time,

(01:09):
that's you have to have your submission in by then.
Just go to fake docs Unda giveaway dot com. That's
fake docs Hounda giveaway dot com. And what you're gonna
do is, in one hundred words or less, tell us
why you or someone you love really needs a car. Now.

(01:30):
Please don't go to this and waste anybody's time if
you don't really need a car, or if you have
a car and it's just a bad car. This is
for people who whose lives would really be changed. You
can get that job that you've wanted to get, you
can go take care of that relative that you need
to take care of, someone whose life would substantially be

(01:50):
changed if they were to be given a car a
hunday by Zach and Donald and fake doctors. This is real.
I can't believe it. I know you. I know you think.
I cannot believe we pull this off. Dude, I can't.
So some lucky winner who goes to fake docs Hyundai
Giveaway dot Com and tells us in a hundred words

(02:14):
or less why you should be the recipient or someone
you love should be the recipient of this hunday. You're
gonna win a car and it's free and It's pretty amazing,
right Chell, Yeah, totally. It's the one Donald was so

(02:35):
seriously thanks to everybody a hunday. We can't believe this.
Of course what you say will be vetted, so don't
be like we could just tell them that, no, don't
do that. It's all going to be vetted. But I
feel like this is a really Donald and I had
this idea, like there's somebody out there whose life could
really be changed for the better, who can't get to
the job that they wish they could have because they

(02:56):
don't have a car, or they can't visit that relative
or whatever the story is. If that's you, please go
to fake docs Hyunday giveaway dot com. You have to
have your submission in by Friday, September seventeenth, at midnight
Pacific time. So, guys, the live show, if you missed it,
lots of people are asking, um, hey, I missed it.

(03:16):
Can I watch it? Yes, you can watch it until
when Joel this Thursday. Yes, at midnight Pacific Standard time.
I believe at midnight Pacific standard time on three days.
It's you guys know, it's of course you got today
tomorrow and then that's it. Dat you got today you

(03:40):
got tomorrow and then you got Thursday till midnight Pacific time.
And I know those numbers are those hours are off
in Europe, but I don't do math um. The point
is you didn't miss it, go to on location live
dot com and you can watch the show. We had
a Loma Wright who plays Nurse Roberts. We had Rob

(04:00):
Maschio who plays the Todd. We had Christa Miller who
plays Jordan. We had Bill Lawrence who created the whole
darn thing. We had Joel Daniel and the Donald Faison.
Oh of course I buried the lead. And we had
the legendary, the legendary Johnny McGinley, the King. So please
go check it out. We had a lot of fun

(04:20):
and we think you'll enjoy it. Hi guys, I Hi friends, Aloha.
Are you doing there a day of soon? I'm well,
how are you? Zach? Is that your dog that's barking?
That is my dog that's barking. I like your hoodie.
It's it's got mouse ears on it. Well, you know

(04:42):
me and the mouse. You know how much I love
the mouse. Right, But this is a really cool sweatshirt
for you listeners at home. It's a it has a
hoodie and then on the hoodie are two hoodie ears
for me? Got it at Disneyland? Yeah, you look you
are so ski in this episode. Yeah I noticed that too,

(05:03):
did you. I am you're working out your characters in
the gym, but you're like, I mean, you look better
than Taye Diggs. I mean, I don't you know when
I look, that's nuts and no, nothing is better than
Tay Diggs and I will fight anyone to the death.
In my humble opinion, you look more handsome and blast
for me than the Tay Diggs. I mean, this episode

(05:27):
has so much fucking funny, shouldn't it. I laughed out loud.
I laughed quite a bit. Also, um, I will say
this this. I look back at this and I remember
thinking to myself, Wow, I thought I was so chubby
when making this, you know what I really then you
might have body dysmorphia. No, it all boils down to

(05:47):
remember the Titans. That's the most ripped I had ever
been in my life up until Uh, kick Ass too
and so too? Were you more ripped? In kick Ass two? Oh?
Kick Ass two, I was man ripped. And remember the Titans.
I was a little boy. You know what I mean,
so it's like you get ripped and the abs don't
look the way you want them to look. They're kind

(06:09):
of you know what I mean? And kick Ass two
and and what's crazy is in kick Ass two, I
never take off my shirt or anything like that. But
because I wanted to look feel like a superhero, I'd
got in six shapes, Right. I gave you a good
rationalization to get ripped. That was real ripped. That was
like man ripped where the abs looked like squares and
not little squiggly lines across you know what I mean?

(06:30):
Like that was that real shit? That was like yeah, anyway, um,
but I remember thinking I was so so because of that,
because of because of remember the Titans not being able
to you know, having a flat stomach and being toned
and everything like that was was fine, but it wasn't
and it wasn't like you know, I I shitted on

(06:52):
myself and I gave myself such such a complex because
I felt like it wasn't good enough. Like remember the
Titans at that point was that was peaked, that was
fighting way. Well. I want you to know that I'm
watching this episode and there is your character in the gym,
but even separately aside, I noticed that you looked particularly good.

(07:13):
I'm trying again, man, we all try. Like you know,
what's great is that I have the rest of my
life to try and figure this out. Yeah, you know
what I mean. You know what I mean, the rest
of my life. You know. It just uh, it just
takes commitment. And if you fall back off the horse,

(07:34):
you can get your ass right back on. That's right.
I went up to Hudson, New York, which I highly
recommend to anyone who visits the East Coast. It's two
hours north of Manhattan, and you can take a train
there or drive there, and it's this beautiful, little cute
town and they have great restaurants and a little inns,
and a good friend of mine owns a bar there

(07:55):
that you should go visit called Back Bar. Anyway, it
was really really cool, and I thought of it because
I certainly was eating like a fool and drinking like
a fool um and came back feeling like I was
four months pregnant. Really, but I was back in the
gym today, baby hurt. Even though it hurt, I had
the most amazing meals and the place is awesome and

(08:17):
it's very romantic. I highly recommend it. I don't know
why I'm doing an ad for Hudson right now, but
it's a great place to visit. Um. But anyway, the
point is we all have those weekends where we eat
our weight in naughty food and drink and then what
happens Monday morning? Back on the wagon, Donald Phazony, mean,

(08:38):
my body is very made fun of in this episode.
Talk about this. That's the thing. Though I was not exercising.
I wasn't overweight, obviously, there was you know, Doughey if
you will, but I wasn't over that badly overweight. But
I wasn't going to the gym obviously, and there's no
tone to my body. The whole joke is that next
to Keith, who's a ripped Adonis with his dynamite ariolas.

(09:02):
That's where is this where dynamite ariolas comes from? Yes,
this is the this is the episode where you think
you're better than me, Keith with your rock card abs
and your dynamite ariolas. Hide Joel, I think that's um,
I think I made that lineup. Well, I'm proud to
say because it's uh, it's pretty funny. Well, it's traveled

(09:23):
all the way over to faked Doctor's real friends. That's
like one of the early episodes. You talk about my
ariolas and you call them dynamite ariolas. Well, you haven't
melted her She's kisses, which are beautiful, but you think
you're better than me, Keith with your rock hard abs
and your dynamite ariolas. Like, why is JD commenting on
another man's ariolas because he's jealous? He wants them? Keith

(09:44):
looks good, though, I gotta say he does. Yeah, let's
let's keep that one hundred. Yeah, I want to say that.
Can we jump off topic real quick? I know we're
all we're trying to all in different locations before we do.
Is that what you're gonna jump off? All of our
backgrounds are now officially different. Yeah, Daniel, you're on vacation somewhere.
I am actually returning from vacation, and I'll keep this

(10:07):
section short. But while I was on vacation, I was
exposed to someone who is exposed to someone unvaccinated who
tested positive for COVID. Didn't find out till a couple
of days later. So I'm currently quarantining at my parents' house.
Before I go back to my place with my lovely Stephanie. Okay,
but have you been tested and don't have it? So
I'm getting tested tomorrow. I'm waiting till five days after exposure.

(10:29):
I'm getting a PCR test tomorrow morning, and then I'll
find out. Okay, and the well, are you just in
your going kitchen but a different angle or something? Yes,
this is my kitchen. My dog is up from a nap.
She's not allowed in my room. My brother has to edit,
so I'm pulling double duty, dog parent duty and producer duty.
We're getting it, don okay, and Donald's in his new
office and I'm in my apartment. It's a whole new

(10:51):
close your eyes, a whole new than your Breton. It
gets better. No, no go say we're only dreaming, Oh
new world. Listen, Delta Delta or not. Broadway is coming

(11:14):
back and I am going to be the first in line. Mofos.
Don't you dare close your eyes? Jowell? Did you see that?
Sarah Barellas posted a video of them at first rehearsal,
the company singing opening up the opening song of Way Droope.
But I'm checking it out as soon as we wrap

(11:34):
up here I reposted it on my Instagram and I
was like, I'm already waiting outside. It so exciting. And
there's another video that was very moving. This young African
American stage manager is caught is a netmaking announcement to
the audience. You can't see the audience, you only see him.
I also you can search for this online. But he

(11:56):
he makes the announcement. He goes, ladies and gentlemen, welcome
to the very first production of Broadway post Pandemic. And
the crowd you can hear them go crazy, and he
kind of gets moved, and you see that he's looking
at the monitor and he goes it, turns to his friend,
he goes, oh my god, they're giving it a standing ovation,
And it was just so heartwarming and moving that Broadway

(12:16):
is doing everything it can to come back. I'm excited,
like not that I was going to Broadway a lot
back in the day, but I'm just excited that, you know,
there are a lot of actors and actresses and people
who work behind the scenes and everything who were out
of jobs for musicians and everything who were out of
jobs for a really long time. And it's an art form,

(12:38):
and I respect every art form. And so, and also
I have a personal stake in it. Also my mother
is an agent to so many fabulous and wonderful Broadway performers,
and so, you know, I'm really excited for this, for
this form of expression to have its chance again. And
I feel like because of pandemic, it's going to have

(12:58):
a big opportunity. Yeahcause people are looking for something, looking
for something different, and for two years of not seeing shows,
two years off and you have to be vax you
have to show your vaxed card to go. So if you're,
for some reason one of those people who doesn't want
to get vaxed, maybe seeing a Broadway show will be
your raison hopefully. Yeah. Um, but I'm very excited to

(13:23):
go see Waitress and to see um everything. I'm literally
she's gonna break out into I'm not gonna write to
a love song in the middle eight in the middle
of Waitress. No, I don't think you understand how good
Waitress is and also how Sarah Barellis is such a
savant that not only did she write the music and
lyrics for the show, but has taken to starring in

(13:45):
it and blowing people away with her acting ability. Um,
I sound like Sarah's publicist, but she is a really,
really talented human being. So no, no, she's not gonna
break into her her album. All right, let's get in
the show. Base. Before we get into the show, I
just wanted to talk about one more thing with you.

(14:05):
I just completed my first writer's room ever. Unders applause,
Danniel or Zach This is the hardest thing ever in
the history of things. And it was a lot of fun,
and you know, but to simplify something that you've spent
so much time thinking about, it's probably one of the

(14:29):
hardest things so far that I've had to do. And
we're not even new. It's a whole new chapter of
your career because you've never done. Just too quickly. For
people who aren't in the business, a writer's room is
the obvious. It's when writers of a show sit around
a table or in this case in these days, often
a zoom and create something together under the under the

(14:51):
leadership of a leader who's called the showrunner. In this
case that's Donald. I'm not I'm not necessarily the show
running right now. It was pretty much we were all
trying to figure out how to do it. The budget,
it's your baby, so you yes, but I'm also taking
you know, it's also my first writers rooms, so I'm

(15:11):
also taking a lead from people who have been So
was it successful? How many episodes did you write? We
we we were supposed to come up with ten episodes
we wrote to be careful. Uh, something like seventeen episodes
and then three premises? Wow? So sorry, sixteen and four

(15:33):
something like that. I could be wrong. That is no
small feet I have. I have a bunch of papers
in front of me. Now I'm very proud of you. Sorry,
fifteen fifteen, I'm very proud of you. Thank you very much.
It's one of the most difficult things ever because then
after you after you come up with the idea, it's like,
how do I make this two minutes? Now you know
what I mean? And then after making you know, then

(15:56):
how do I make it read like it's two minutes? Also,
because you know, to make it two minutes, you can edit,
and you can cut, and you can snip, and you
can do a bunch of things, But how do I
make it read like it's two minutes? Also, you know
learning that once you add and then and then and
then you're already you've lost You've you're already You're already
too far ahead, like just so many rules in this

(16:18):
in each episode will be two minutes long. Two minutes long. Uh,
each episode just two minutes long. And it's a it's
it's a you know, and it's do I have a part?
Or is it gonna be just absolutely it's absolutely you.
I'm gonna I'm gonna hit up Justin Long also, but
I know, but I Justin Long is starting to get

(16:38):
a little too deep into a friendship with you, and
I'm not exactly loving it. And I I can show
you so many pictures of how these hoes ain't loyal
Joel and Daniel, I see you both laughing. But Zach
braf Is, these hoes ain't loyal. What the fuck are
you went and got the ultimate mit and went after

(17:01):
freaking Morgan Freeman. I got pictures of you and Morgan,
I got pictures in you. I got pictures of you
fucking Diddy, like, yeah, dude, this dude's got like a
bunch of those first of all those those men, don't
I don't want to hear this shit. This is it.
This is the this is how they this is how
it works, This is these are the people that he

(17:21):
tells you not to worry about. And when the breakup happens.
When the breakup happens, Morgan Freeman's gonna be all up
in my face, like stop calling them, Um, those men,
those horva doesn't mean anything to me next to you, baby. Um,

(17:42):
all right, let's get into this. This is a very
very very funny episode. Um. I don't even remember shooting
any of it, and um it's hut. I don't remember

(18:17):
any of it. Not one part of this episode. I don't.
This was like watching something a new Yes, and I
thought I was gonna remember it too because I remember
the title my Buddy's Booty. I thought because of your
um juicy ass, that it was referring to your booty.

(18:38):
That would have been nice. Yeah, but if that episode
I'd like to watch. By the way, there was this
meme of all the Olympic cyclers. Did you see that picture?
Oh my god, that's what you want to talk about.
Chunky asses, dude, All the Olympics cyclers have the juicy's asses,
And someone created a meme that says, damn, I need
to cycle. Speaking of cycling, I almost died on my

(19:05):
bike today biking in New York was always a double
black diamond sport. But I gotta tell you, post pandemic,
it is insanity. What's going on? Well, there are so
many more delivery men. I think what I assume what
happened is during the pandemic, the need for food delivery
guys surged, right, And they all ride electric bicycles. Now,
these are not normal electric bicycles. These are like essentially

(19:28):
fucking motor scooters, but they're electric bicycles. They fly, and
these dudes, I respect, they're hustle, they're going for the
get the cash, but they are insane and they're forget
any rules. The police of New York couldn't possibly police this.
So every which way on the street and they fly,

(19:48):
and then you got tourists on city bikes going the
wrong way and they're not nobody's wearing helmets. It's just
it's insanity. And it's like frogger on acid. But you die,
and I almost died today. I'm glad you did. No. No, Yeah,
I think I read that one pedestrian dies a day

(20:10):
in Manhattan. I don't know that's enough for me to stop. Joe, Well,
can you look that up. I don't know if that's
a fact I made up. But I heard that a
pedestrian a day. That is enough to stop me from
going outside right there. Well, it's very trust me. I'm good.
I'm a good bicycler. I've been riding in Manhattan for many, many,
many years. But I definitely notice that. Oh and they

(20:32):
also introduced this other insane thing. I can't believe the
fucking government let this through. But they also have these
full like scooters like JD's scooter, but it's electric and
you just has an app and you swipe your fucking
app and you start up the scooter. So people who
don't know what they're doing are driving those around the city.
Now it's fucking like Sasha scooter or like, yes, not

(20:55):
in but they're electric, but they look like Sasha, and
dudes are on the bike paths with him going the
wrong way. Insane, dude. Wow, it's so advanced by helmet
up and everything. But today you have to go you know,
you have lights on my ship too. Speaking of helmeting up,

(21:16):
helmeting up, Gary Busey's on the show, Gary Busey's back. Um,
this show is so this episode is a ridiculous direction
by Randall Winston was this Randall's first epist. I believe
this is his first episode. What a great job. And
he has a great little uh transition that happens later
on in the show with the sneakers and the hanging. Yeah,

(21:37):
we'll get to that. I'm sure we'll get to that.
But Randall Winston as well. You know he's been on
the show. He was our line producer. We told you
what that was about. That's mostly the guy who's looking
at the money and dealing with the exact money and budget.
Written by Mark Stegman, one of our very funny writers.
But this was Randall's first episode he directed, I believe,
or was it second. Jowell double checked out for me too.
But anyway, the episode starts, JD and Elliot are bonding

(22:00):
again and Jad's getting over breaking up with Julie and h.
Elliot apparently thinks she also thinks she looks like Gary
Busey because she covers her face with a Gary Busey picture.
I think she covers the face with Gary buy with
a Gary Busey picture, and you're like, oh, now it's
you and me, and she's like, what the fuck are
you talking about? It's Gary Busey. I don't think she

(22:21):
covers it trying to make it seem like it's her.
Hold on one second, Um, Joel, I'm looking at what
you said. Pedestrian deaths in the city have surged fifty
eight percent so far in twenty twenty one, so you
know I'm not fucking lying staying home now compared to
the same period in twenty twenty. Oh. But you're saying

(22:42):
the total death is went. What does that mean? Forty
one deaths from twenty six Oh so not quite, but
it's still a lot. Oh oh, but so forty one. Oh,
but it's halfway through the year, so that would that
would roughly be eighty. Okay, I was wrong, but we're
headed towards eighty deaths pedestrian deaths for twenty twenty one. Yes,

(23:05):
and this is Randall's second episode. Yes, that's what I'm
telling you. And this is Randall's second direct to your pet.
My figure that I once heard might be um New
York um city and meeting all five burrows. Anyway, Um,
I'm telling you see surged fifty eight percent, So you

(23:26):
get I'm not lying. It's fucking nuts out there. Be
careful when you're in New York. Look. Ye, I once
stepped into the street once and I had looked the
proper way because the streets are all one way, and
a biker yelled at me, goes, you gotta look both ways,
and he was going the wrong way, and I was like,
I had to bite my fists all right. So Elliott

(23:49):
um doesn't know how to pull pranks and she throws
into the into the shower, which is first of all
so many questions where did Elliott get this raccoon? But
kudos to the stunt man. I don't know which one
of the fellas it was, but he took a nice
fucking hit on that cabinet with that when under the

(24:10):
shower curtain. Not only that he'd been was still conscious
enough to push the flap down the shower curtain down
because the wind was blowing the shower curtain and it
looked like the dangle was about to be seen. Oh
it wouldn't have been my peep, it would have been his.
But that was a very impressive hit with with clearly

(24:32):
no vision, I mean he was he couldn't see. So
thank you, mister stuntman for making me look good. Well done.
I don't know which one it was so then this
this episode had so many wacky stunts in it. So
then I'm putting pulling Elliott on rollerblades with a water
ski rope behind my scooter. This is called scooter blading, right,

(24:54):
and the stunt woman, the stunt woman, I'm like, fucking
Bobby Brady the stunt woman, and who leaps over the
stretcher is an exact match for Sarah. I went back
frame by frame. It's obviously not Sarah because it's a
pretty major stunt, but you can't tell that it's not Sarah.
Didn't you notice that doll? It didn't look like Sarah

(25:15):
to me, But okay, really it's rare. Usually when you
have a stunt person, they'll you'll see later with with
with JD on rollerblades. When it's going to be a stunt,
you can tell because they start hiding their face, like
with their arm a little bit, or they're ducking their head.
But that woman does a giant rollerblade split jump and

(25:35):
she's showing her face and I was like, there's no
way that was Sarah. And I went back and I
kind of went I went frame by frame and you
can't you can't really tell. They found a good They
found a good one, Yeah, they did. Unless that is Sarah.
But I don't think that's Sarah. I don't think it's Sarah.
Is not Sarah is not quarded enough to risk that

(25:58):
she can dance. She's pretty athletic, she's just never been
I know. But if you look at the stunt team,
if you at first, I went back and I went, oh,
maybe she leaped over the camera and with no rollerblades on.
But no, it's a woman doing a split jump on rollerblades.
I don't think it's Sarah. I don't think it's We
could ask Sarah. No, I fucker, I'm just kidding. I

(26:25):
love that wacky Canadian. How about Cox falling straight on
his back? Um, it made me realize that Johnny C
doesn't do a ton of physical comedy in the show.
That wasn't his character. No, he does not, and I
do and I do believe Johnny C does have a
bad back. This is around the time that your back
started getting bad too, also, though, isn't it This is

(26:47):
around the time to Hernia. This is around the time
I don't do the time of the Hernia, but definitely
five years of running Indus Ship to make America laugh
started to take a toll on me, right, I remember,
I remember all of a sudden you being like, dude,
stop sucking around my back, My back, my back. Well yeah,
I mean I definitely I solved a bunch of issues

(27:07):
I started to have with my back, and then I
did have a hernia. I don't know if it was
around this time, but you know, I was not much
of an athlete and not much shape, but I really
took a love to physical comedy and was trying to
do as much of it as I could. And then
of course some of that caught up because if I
was in shape and stretching and doing it all right,
it probably would have been better. But I was doing

(27:28):
none of that. I was just trying to make people laugh,
right as you should. So he falls right on his back.
But by the way, not even a fantasy. I mean
that would really, I mean, you could really, really really
hurt yourself if Cox, if you did what Cox did
in the ICU. Just to prove a point, Yes, there

(27:48):
are a lot of moments in this show today. I
mean that we that we just watched where I was like, okay,
so this none of this is going to ever track
and it's all really happened. Yeah, but none of it
will ever track Vader thing one. How many piercings does
JD have? Now, well, he has all those piercings, and

(28:10):
they very quickly disappear, right one one doesn't very quickly disappear.
There's a call back at the end of the show.
All right, so JD, you're jumping ahead, but not by much.
Jad goes and tries to hit on JD and Elliot
are both horny and they both want booty calls. Yes,
JD has heard that the woman who does piercings at

(28:32):
the mall or yeah, wherever it is. But she's easy, easy,
so he tries to promiscuous. He tries to hit on her,
and I go, maybe later you can show me where
else you're pierced. And then I look down at her vagina,
which is just so preposterously inappropriate. And JD gets exactly

(28:54):
what's coming to him because she wrestles him to the
ground and pierces him all over his face and then
his penis yes, and um, and we learned that he's
got an emerald yes in his penis. I forgot what
that's called. What's that called? When you get a penis. Jewel,

(29:15):
Joel left the conversation. She's a specialists here, Prince alb
now Joel as a Prince Albert. Um just a piercing
or can it also be an an emerald? And and
where does it go? It goes to the tip of
the well piercing that is where it goes. Or you ladder,

(29:36):
which is where you're pierced up the shaft. Ye wait
a second, Jacob's ladder is multiple piercing up the sea.
Also what a thing to reference? Yea if you're if
you're a man, if you're a man listening to this,
you might be holding your penis right now because the

(29:56):
thought of it hurt uncontrollable. So the Prince Albert goes
through the tip the ure throw. Yeah, so I'm assuming
that's what Jad got um. And and it's an emerald.
It's a green emerald. So wait, So at the end
when the janitor has an emerald on the tip of
his he stole it when he broke into my home.

(30:21):
This episode, this episode is so fucked up, so Jad, sorry,
So we're jumping around, but cos in the janitor becomes
drinking buddies and after drinking one night, they break into
Jad's home. Yes, and the janitor reveals that he often
does this and he um likes to. He does it

(30:43):
a few times a week. He says, he likes to
move stuff around, turn off my alarm, and occasionally cut
my bangs. Yes. But what we also learn is that
in moving my bed to the parking lot, I'm apparently
a very very deep sleeper. Janitor removes the Emerald's jewel
from my Prince Albert piercing Yes, and mounds it on

(31:05):
his mop. Yes. Because this is some bad shit. Fucking dude,
I never put this together when we were making this show. No,
I didn't realize out of sequence. That's what we're learning

(31:27):
from watching this in sequence. How fucking bat shit Season
five is and I love it. Yeah, I'm here for it.
I'm here for season five, man, I want to I really,
I think I don't know what happens in season six
where the tone goes, But season five is so far.
It's my type of comedy where it's like, how dare they?

(31:48):
How dare they do that? Because now they have to
explain it. But then now you don't have to explain it.
You know what it is, dude, It's like Bill was.
It was shocking what Bill could get away with season
one through four with humor and then still circling round
to Heart. It was always like, Wow, how does he
do that? That's amazing. Now this motherfucker was like, let
me see if I could push it further, right, because

(32:09):
even at the end of this episode, which is bad shit, Yeah,
it ends with Heart with missus wilk and everyone gather
run her bed. Yeah, dude, he's masterful at it. Speak listen,
I'm gonna I'm gonna reveal something that I haven't and
I'm sure you guys have probably picked up on it.
Up until about a week ago. No, No, until up

(32:39):
until a week ago, I had never watched ted Lasso.
I knew that I was hiding it from Bill. Yeah,
I had never watched an episode of ted Lasso, And
every time Bill was on, I would be like, oh,
and ted Lasso is doing so well, and I was
sincerely good. I've watched all of them. Nice, dude, It's

(33:01):
one of the best shows I've ever watched in my life.
Man Like Will Good in all honesty, man Like, I'm
sitting there like and I'm in awe of one of
my really good friends, like I'm in awe, like I
can't believe it. Like part of me is like part
of me is like like I watched Scrubs and I'm like, yeah,
Scrubs is good and I was a part of it,
and it's changed my life and it's made me, you know,

(33:21):
a very very very very fortunate person and it's given
me a lot of great things. We're watching Ted Lasso.
I'm like, holy shit, dude, like it's just great storytelling
and I can't Like part of me's like part of
me's almost like I can't believe Bill did this. You
know what I mean, Like it's it's so fucking proud of,
Like I'm so proud of. Episode two is probably your

(33:43):
favorite episode though, in all honesty, in season one, out
of all of season one, episode two, truthfully is my
favorite episode. Believe it. Joel, come on, don't on my parade,
and b he has he has his sincere face on.

(34:04):
I know his sincere face. I'm still learning. I cannot.
I my my wife too. We're like we caught up,
and I'm pissed off that we caught up to where
it's at you, But that's what happens. I'm sure that
people listening feel that about Scrubs. It's like, uh, and

(34:25):
we feel it about shows we love when you when
when it's over, you're like, but but I but I
missed them. Yeah, you know, I want to, you want
to you want to hang out with those people. When
I felt that about last So when it ended, uh,
in the season one ended, I was like, but I
miss Roy. How great is Brett Goldstein? Brett is amazing,

(34:46):
amazing the kid who plays Jamie tart j Jamie Dude, man,
holy shit, like the whole cast, everybody, everybody, everybody's really
really good and they're all nominated every state. But they
should be they they they should be though, Yeah of course,

(35:09):
um yeah, man, it's so cool. I'm so happy to
have a tiny piece of it. I feel so lucky
to be amongst them. I'm just so impressed. I'm sincerely
so impressed. And I didn't, you know, I put it
off and I put it off, and I tried to
watch the first episode once and I just didn't get
the tone. But I had only watched like five minutes

(35:30):
of it. And then after the first episode was over,
Casey and I went through three or four in one night.
And then people would probably happen if you if you
recall is that you got through the first one and
you're like, I think I like it, and then you
watched episode two, Oh absolutely, and then the snowballs. Yeah yeah, sure, sure, sure,

(35:53):
that's exactly what happened. I already said episode two was
my favorite episode of season one. All right, I'm not
going to disagree with you. March and artistic and thought.
I just want to say, holy shit, wow, what a
great show one show two. Charlotte Lawrence posted pictures of
herself in this blue dress. I don't know, this is

(36:13):
all had scrubs related. She looks just like her mom. Dude,
holy cow, she looks like Christa. It's it's like if Christa,
it would if you would have rewinded back in time,
it would be Christa instead of instead of Charlotte. It's
it's really impressive, and you know, it's a shame that
nothing works out for that family. Okay, we are going

(36:36):
to quick break and we'll be right back, and back
we did. We talked about the rock Heart Abs and
Keys Dynamitariolas and I turn around and I reveal that
I've got scratches all down my back and the interns

(36:57):
say what what's that? And I go, those jays are
the panic scratches of the adolescent raccoon. And I love that.
I'd say raccoon, like, that's not how I would normally
pronounce raccoon, But you know what I have, it's funnier.
It's just funnier to say raccoon. I'd love to say

(37:17):
I have since adopted that way of saying raccoon, because
raccoon is way funny. Raccoon is just somehow way funnier
the adolescent the scratches of the of the panicked adolescent raccoon. Okay,
Now the janitor, for some reason, now owns an eighteen

(37:38):
for no reason, it's never explained, but the janitor has
purchased an eighteen van. Yes, and are too young to know.
Eighteen was an action show that I grew up loving,
and Donald it too, mister t Ba Baraka, and it
was funny because it was a great show. H This
this this underground team of mercies of mercenaries with Saw.

(38:02):
It's like bad Batch. Now it's the bad Batch pretty much. Okay,
I don't understand that. I know that's a Star Wars thing.
I don't know what it is, but it's like a
team pretty much. Did do they build something at the
in the third act that saves the No, they don't
build anything in the third act, but they're on the
run from the law. They're this badass group of mercenaries

(38:25):
and they're helping out along. They're helping out people in
need along the way. Oh yeah, well that's the plot
of a team eight Steps without the animation, it's really anyway.
I loved it and it was funny because it was
meant for kids. But there was so much gun play.
They were always shooting it, but no one ever got shot.
It was one of the It was like in the
cartoon g I Joejo the plane explodes that everyone parachutes house. Yeah,

(38:48):
no one ever. There was so much gunfire in a Team,
but no one ever got hit. Yeah right, I love it.
Well one time one episode, face gets shot. They're on
a plane in Face gets probably like is Oh yeah,
we talked about this. How they used to drug be
a baracus mister T. Because mister T was afraid of flying.
They would drug him. Yeah, they got him every time.

(39:10):
Every time. I ain't getting on no plane, animal, you
ain't gonna trick me. This yeah, if you can drug him.
I don't know if you could do that today. I
don't think you're allowed to dose your friends. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you are. It's just not I don't think in a show.
I just wasn't a show. You Oh you don't, right,
got it? I understand I'm saying in twenty twenty one,
I think people would find objection to them dosing be

(39:33):
a baracus to knock him out. I don't think so.
I don't think so if they're going to like Guatemala
to save a village of Oh, you're saying, as long
as it's for a good cause, as long as you're
good cause, you can knock your friend out, all right,
Well by me team. By the way, it probably still
holds up if you have a young teenager, they might

(39:54):
still like it. I doubt it. I doubt I doubt it'

(40:14):
that night Rider were my favorites. Dunn, Dunn, Dunn, Dunna.
You remember Hasslehoff. You know he was my hero, dude,

(40:37):
A big guy. By the way, he was really Hasslehoff
out of nowhere. I mean a lot of celebrity people
reached out to Amanda, but David Hasselhof randomly was one
of them. He was like such a sweetheart, like let
me know if there's ever anything I can do for you,
and he was just you know, it's funny because he
was a childhood hero of mine. A lot of younger
people know him from Baywatch, which was sillier, but when

(40:59):
we were kids. He is the star of a very
popular show called night Rider, and so it's just kind
of cool that of all the celebrities, many of whom
were lovely to Amanda, he was happening to be one
of them. You know, there were no guns. There were
no guns on night Rider either, like Michael Knight never
carried a gun. No, he just fought and had a
magical car. Yeah. Umu, there's a fun famous quote in

(41:23):
this episode. Or me my often see it's like you're
begging me to hate. You say that this is official.
But Jordan, tell me if I'm saying it right, culs
doctor Cox. Yeah, he doesn't seem to have any jealous
bone in his body car because she's always in front

(41:44):
of him a cuckled I think that's right, Joelle. You're
our expert. Thing. So if if that's when the man
watches him himself be cheated on. Yeah, essentially pretty much.
But the man knows because it's not cheating. The man
knows about it. The man well, in a COUPLD situation,
the man is turned on by watching, not necessarily turned on.

(42:07):
The man just knows that. I have to like in
some of the videos that I watch, some of them
are like, I can't believe my wife is doing you know,
but he's acting. I hate to break it to you,
but that that that adult performer is acting. I believe.
Oh no, but Joel is part of the So there's
no scenario where a woman could force like a man

(42:30):
watch that situation happen. Well, then their relationship might be over.
I think the particular sexual uh kink is that the
term Joel yeah nice is that you um? Is that
the that the man or woman depending on the partner,
is turned on by the act, even if they in

(42:51):
some in some cases they are humiliated on purpose. He
has things like your peep isn't as big as his,
You sucks in the in the videos that I've seen
when doing research about research, that's that's what. That's that's what.
That's pretty much. I can't think of something I would
be that is less my thing. Hey, kudos to you

(43:13):
if you found your thing. But I do not want
my woman cheating on me and making fun of my
penis side. But hey, to eat their own truly, this
dick is so much better than yours. Look how it curves.
Yours doesn't curve. Oh my word, look at that glorious foreskin.

(43:38):
Yours is gone. Jud Oh no, oh no oh? Who
are you dating? Dude? Who are you getting into? Don't?
Oh yeah, I would, I would not. I'm into being

(44:00):
a cuckold. I've decided. But but now, Johnny, excuse me,
doctor Coxs. I don't know that he's into being a cuckold.
He just looks the other way. He doesn't seem to care.
Jordan is flirting with a with a young, very handsome
man at the bar, and she says they have to
go because his dorm is going to close and she
needs to be dropped off. Yes, so did she pick

(44:21):
him up at the bar? Did she bring them out
on their date? I don't know. I don't she met
him at the bar, but he needs to get home
because for summer, because he didn't recognize he doesn't know
who who doesn't know who Cox is? When he's like
Why is that man staring at me? And fight him, right, Jordan?
But Jordan's yeah, Jordan wants them to fight. Yes, for
some reason, this boy's dorm closes at midnight. Yes, a

(44:45):
bit of a plothole. Well, I mean that just makes
he's an undergrad, doesn't it. I mean, like, well, nobody
lives in the dorm after a sophomore season, do they?
Or do you still live in the dorm? You're seeing
you you can live in the dorm any year. But
but I never heard of a dorm that locks its
doors at midnight. Maybe a religion, a school or something.
Maybe he maybe he, you know, it's a better part
of the story if he's in like religious school, religious

(45:08):
Oh my god, he's in the ministry. He's gonna becoming
the priest um. So we're clear on that. So Cox
is cockled a lot, cockled a lot. I guess Joel
is that the correct thing. He's not, doesn't. He just
ignores it. He's not into it. It seems to me
like Jordan never actually cheats on. I feel like Jordan

(45:30):
is just a giant floyer and Cox has just come
to terms of like my wife needs to flair in
order to feel like sexy and empowered. So whatever she's
doing over there fine by me. I don't know. Actually
I will say this, she's hot as she's hot as ball,
So I mean I would be a little pissed off.
I'd be like, I don't know, what did Jordan do
to make him hate her so much? I think he

(45:52):
just not well. I think he they have a sex life,
we know that's very active. I think he just lets
her flir and ignores it and knows that she's not
going to take action on it, which is which I'm
sure some men and women do too. But that's not
for me either. No, that's called cuckled, light diet, cuckled, diet,

(46:12):
cuckled diet cock soon cut zero zero zero picking of cuckolds.
What's up with our cuckled uh uh two that we're

(46:32):
on the show right with? I do not have an
update for them yet, but I can tap ask tell
him we want them to come back on. We just
want to know how it's going, you know. I want
to know. Even if he hasn't had his turn um
hooking up with another woman, I still kind of want

(46:54):
to have them back on. Yeah, I just want to
know more. I think about them, and I want to
just I just feel like they could be good recurring guests,
like once a season we just see what's going on
in their lives. And this couple guy season, we have
Shay on once and we have this wild um okay,

(47:22):
so jd um okay, let's talk about the Alvino radiologist.
Did you not get this? So Carla and Elliott want
the JIM to have more equipment for females, for women, Yes,
right now. I didn't realize that JIM equipment is when

(47:46):
did JIM equipment become? Well, I think what I what
I inferred was that it was all free weights, and
women tend stereotypically to appreciate equipment that has the weights,
you know, built into it, kind of just the way. Um,
the example they show at the end is they've got
what's this thing called the political right. Um. I never

(48:09):
thought of it as as as a as a male
female thing either, but but but I think what they're
setting up is that it's just like it's all free
weights and and dumbells, I mean and dumbbells and bars
and stuff, not stuff that women stereotypically use. Right, And
so uh Turk comes up with the plan because the

(48:29):
albino in radiology is named Jim, and Turk walks into
the office and says, you know that the albino and
radiology Jim wants new equipment. Now this is all to
fool Carla, because Cox has had an intervention with Turk
and says, are you an idiot? This is the only

(48:50):
place that we men can have do ourselves, which is
kind of which doesn't really make any sense because I guess,
I guess if there was an only freeweight Jim, maybe
maybe it wouldn't have minute. But Cox says, don't you
dare let ruin the gym only zone, And Turk listens
to Cox and uses Jim from radiology to trick Kelso

(49:15):
into saying, you tell uh what does he say? Uh,
there'll be no money for that. You tell you there'll
be no new equipment for that gym, right, something like that?
Something like that. It's like a threes company misunderstanding the
whole whole premise. This built on a misunderstanding when someone

(49:36):
overhears something, you know, right, yeah, And so Turk feels
like he's out of the way. So I didn't know
that there was one. There's now an albino in radiology.
I didn't never see him. We never see him. But okay,
so how about this caveman booty call fantasy had me laughing.
I think that's one of the funniest shits ever because

(49:58):
I remember shooting this and we wouldn't get through it.
We were laughing so hard. This woman and I am Bill.
I just remember because what's so funny is that she's
full cave woman speak and I'm modern day yes, but
I'm like, look, I have a lot going on. Hey,
he's trying to sneak out of the cave. I doesn't
even remember her name. Really, Hey, hey you, I have

(50:22):
a lot going on. My brother ate my foot. But
there's like three things that were going on. A bird,
a bird captured sister, my sister, and she goes hungry. Yeah,
I think I gotta go. Oh she goes cronk Where

(50:43):
you go now? And I'm like, hey, hey you. If
anybody ever says hey you to you, it's because they
forgot your name. Yeah, that's what that means, Hey you you.

(51:09):
And then I was like, oh my god, it's you.
And I was like you And then what about when
you do the awkward like your partner comes in and
you're like, honey, have you guys mat right? Do you
do you too know each other? Do you go this
is this is my wife Casey and then leave it
at that, or this is my wife and then Casey goes, hi,

(51:31):
I'm Casey. Casey smart when we we we she hit
me to it. She was like, listen, if ever you
don't know anybody's name, just be like, this is my wife.
Don't say my name. Just say this is my wife
and introduce me. I'll get the name out of it.
That's good. That's a teamwork that's called yeah, you know what.
This is where it backfires when Casey will go hey,

(51:53):
I'm Casey and the person will go hey, nice to
meet you. Oh yeah. The worst way I used my
name technique that I taught our listeners for remembering names.
The other day, there's a parking garage attendant who's very
nice to me, and I wanted to remember his name,
and his name was Wilson. So I pictured that volleyball

(52:15):
with the red handprint on it driving my car up.
I just pictured the volleyball in the driver's seat somehow
driving the car up. And I will never forget that
man's name, it's Wilson. Hey Wilson. And I told my
friend the story and he's like, that's great. Even I'm
going to remember his name now. Yeah. I say that

(52:37):
all the time. There are people that are like that
are like, hi, my name is Casey. I'll be like,
I'll never forget your name. My wife's name is Casey.
How could I ever forget it? And I'll be like, hey,
you Bobby Forrester our dolly grip. Yes, is La one
of the Janitor's henchman. Yes, his father who recently just

(52:57):
passed away, Robert Farister. Bobby was an amazing dolly group.
The dolly group, for those you don't know, is a
very tough position because the camera is mounted on this
piece of gear that you can make the camera move.
It's sometimes it's on tracks, sometimes it's just rubber wheels
on the ground. But you're you have to hit very
specific marks. And what makes it doubly hard is that

(53:18):
you also have a has a silent hydraulic arm that
raises it and lowers, and so the person man or
woman is not only moving the physical Dolly, but simultaneously
moving the hydraulic arm up and down. It's a real
art form to it, and a lot of people are
not good at it. And when you have a great
dolly group, it makes such a difference. And Bobby was

(53:40):
an incredible dollar group. You never had to ever go
again because the dolly wasn't somehow in the right position
at the right time. It's yeah, it's really interesting to
watch a camera team when they're when they've worked together
for a really long time, or when they have chemistry.
It's really cool to watch because it's you know, a
lot of people don't know this, but there's like or
people behind the camera working one camera. Yeah, there's the

(54:03):
dolly grip, there's the there's the focus puller, there's the
camera operator, and then there's the person who does the
mark marking and h the slate the slate, yeah, slate slating.
And you know, when a team is really good, it's it.

(54:23):
Things move really fast and work is easy. When the
team is really bad, though, it definitely suffers. You. You know,
these are positions that take a lot of practice. Like
focus pulling is not a simple thing because you can
you can have you know, the lens can be said
at a at a certain f stop where the focus
is very very shallow, and you can have someone running

(54:46):
towards you and you have to magically not magically, with
a lot of skill, keep up with them and keep
them in focus. And it sucks because sometimes you'll be like,
you'll have a great take with an actor, but the
focus uh is off in a moment and he got like, oh,
I gotta go again. That didn't work as a focus.
So it is definitely a skill that is so important. Um.

(55:08):
That's position is called the first assistant camera operator. So
now when you now when you see them in the credits,
you'll know what that position does. And now you know
what the Dolly group does. Anyway, So in this episode, uh,
the guy one of the fellas that's in the Janitor's
posse uh, and I think he I think he recurs
as one Janitor's posse members. Yes, but hears a line

(55:32):
in this one. He says something like good one or
something like that. Right, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't.
I didn't pick up on it. When the janitor dis
is Cox, you know he's friends with the doctor. Right,
that's so high school. That whole relationship was so high school.
But we could be friends at the bar. So high
school Gray's Anatomy gets referenced dis Gray's Anatomy. Well, I'm

(55:55):
imagining that Gray's Anatomy was probably a new hospital show
killing it in the rating, and we were jealous or something,
and so we said that they bid off of us.
We go Gray's Anatomy. It's like they've been watching our
lives and putting it on TV. So Elliott bangs Keith. Yeah,
after you guys said you were going to just get
rid of you know, I thought I was hoping, and

(56:17):
I knew this was coming, but I was hoping that
Elliott and j D because they're having so much fun together.
Like the way the episode is trending for those who've
never seen the show before, it's trending that the booty
call will be between Elliott and j I always like
it when they hook up, but not this episode. This episode,
she banks Keith and Keith so handsome and he's ripped.

(56:39):
Travis is ripped. I mean that Travish plays Keith is
just look at his abs. He I mean, can you
imagine that this is your living with your ex girlfriend?
And she fine, you guys both discussed you're gonna have
booty calls. She brings a booty home. It looks like
a ken doll like with comes out of the shower
all moist, wearing my my, my robe, this cute little

(57:02):
robe too. I wish I had that robe. I'm so funny.
It's like a little pink robe. And I'm like, why
are you wearing my robe? Why is he wearing my robe?
And he's wearing my robe? By the way, Jad rocking
the New Jersey T shirt to represent We don't know
where Jad's from, but um, someone magical involved in this
production is from New Jersey. Who kidding? All right, how

(57:28):
about this? All these condoms? How many times did these
guys fucked? There's like a hundred condoms on the table. Yes,
he has a very strong libido. Reminds me of a
young Donald Phashon. I know, but like this, this was
like they could have gotten the joke across with like
six I think, I think up like twenty. No, you
pick up hand two handfuls and then this is the
best part. This is the best part of the whole

(57:49):
episode is that I read the label like a eltoro grande.
I'm not familiar with this bun. So he learned that,
in addition to being so handsome, Keith also has a
giant el too grande. Yeah, we we learned. We're almost done,

(58:12):
but we learned that the janitor cells prosthetic feet to
college kids. He thinks that they smoke something out of them.
Oh no, And then you see Bobby Forrester our Dolly
Grip carrying a box of stolen prosthetics. But I mean,

(58:36):
what about the whole thing with Doug and the corpse
I didn't bring. I'm trying prank Keith by by guys.
JD steals a corpse from a corpse from the morgue
to prank Keith to murder. Doug tracks it all the
way to back to the bed, but forgets his gurney
in the morgue. Yes, and rather than go get a gurney,

(58:59):
he's going to give the corpse a piggyback. Nuts. This
episode is fucking nuts. And then he's got the corpse
in the fucking elevator. Yeah, they should have, Randall, you
should have kept the fuck out you. I bet you.

(59:22):
The studio was like, no, you gotta put the corpse now.
I don't know, Randall, that would be fucking so hilarious
if Keith is standing there with a corpse my one
My one note is that Randall really fucked up in that.
When it ends in the elevator, Doug should have been
standing in there with the corpse instead of in the
body bag. Oh my gosh, why don't we you get

(59:45):
threatened by all these nurses. Why they're all gonna throw
staplers at you because they find out what you did
with the gym. Why are all these nurses holding staplers.
I don't understand. I think they were prepared. They were
ready for it because the pins came first, and then
next was the staplers. She was like, if he's dumbing
to continue saying it, I want you guys to pack
him with everyone, go grab a stapler, is what Carlo said.

(01:00:06):
She's like, you, there's someone the fourth floor, there's someone
the first floor. Just make sure you get yourself a
stapler for this moment, this moment, now Donald not in
a fantasy. Elliott turns into Darth Vader and lifts me
by the neck. Yeah. It chokes you out, chokes you
out at the end of it. Yes, so she is

(01:00:29):
very very very strong. Yes. When you cross Elliott, yeah,
your feet are dangling, and you see my feet dangling. Yeah,
dangling like two of those you know how they make
key chains and they put shoes on the key chains, Right,
that's the transition. That's the transition dangling like that sounds

(01:00:54):
like Randall went to transition school. This episode is really about,
you know, about relationships, like if you were to reek,
if we were to do a recap on this episode,
it really is about I think. I think it truly
all has to do with rules. I think it the
rules between Cox and and and and the janitor at

(01:01:17):
the bar being front at the bar, not at the
hospital is that's that's where it is. We can't be
associated with each other because we wouldn't be associated with
each other normally, just because we had a great conversation
at the bar. Let's keep the relationship there. But they
bonded by removing the emeralds from my Prince Albert. Well,

(01:01:39):
they realize that they have a lot in common at work.
You're one of their you're one of the people that
irks them, or James one of the people things that
Cox helps the janitor remove. Absolutely, I don't. I don't
think they must have done it together. Absolutely, I don't think.
I think because they're doctor, because he's a doctor. I
don't think he has a problem touch another man's penis.

(01:02:01):
I'm sure he's done it several times before, right, But
it is weird to not only steal a man from
his home in his bed and move said bed to
the parking lot, and then, as the piece to resistance,
remove the man's Prince Albert piercing and allow your colleague
to mount the emeralds on a broom. Yes, by the way,

(01:02:30):
we learned that Elliott is into p play. What's that called, Joel?
This is out of my territory. Google? Um, can you
google with this my work computer? Exact? Let me no, no, no, no,
no no, this is for work, Joel. I'm sorry that
you work on an rated podcast r T to like
I look like people, And I'm really also sorry. All right, well,

(01:02:52):
I just want to know what the correct term for
urine play is. I don't want to offend anyone who
loves Isn't it called a golden shower? That's that's a
particular act, that's when you get peed on. But we
learned that Elliott is into what's it called, Joel? Who
lets you know what you know? What you know what people?

(01:03:14):
You know? What you know? What you know what you
know what people who were into p play called their
club what you're a nation came over the thank you?
Um all right, well elliotts into p play. She says
it's only because of jellyfish, a jellyfish incident. Yeah, but

(01:03:38):
we all know, but we all know. All right. On
that note, we're gonna take a break and we come back,
Joel as I'm sure programmed an exciting guest for us.
We'll be right back after these words. And we're bad,
and we're bad, Okay, we are not as much as

(01:04:04):
she loves me. That's true because she has nine of
your babies. Listen, I saw what was it? She posted
your your little girl dancing. She's got moves, she got
a little she's a kid, you know, she's she likes
to sing and dance. No, but I mean she seems
like she's got dance. Heal, you got her in dance class?

(01:04:24):
She no, no, no, but she should be in dance class.
She wants to be in dance class, that's for sure. Oh.
I know we were talking about these that I think
Casey said she's a little bit young for like hip
hop class, right, yeah, like you gotta be a little
bit older. She's only six. Yeah, but she's got talent,
she's got moves, likes to dance. All right, let's bring
in the guests there, Joel and Danel. We got all,

(01:04:52):
you know, like a maybe tis so come on, Joe,
let's give it up for Alex coh God, Alex, this

(01:05:15):
is not a dream. It's real. It's happened. This screw
guys with all due spect. This is one hundreds that
a dream. Well if we can't you, we would. I wish.
By the way, you're wearing the new shirt, which I
really really really appreciate. That's a dope shirt. It is
a dope shirt. I got a lot of comments. I
know then all the infans when I'm walking around the
hood with my kids. Oh yeah, people do people say

(01:05:36):
nice shirt. Nice Yeah, there's scrumbsman or else. They get
it completely wrong and they're like, oh, that's that like
show with the blow. I was like, that's not even close.
Well yeah, but I call this the limited edition shirt
because there's no Ted On. Here is no Ted, no Jordan,
Jordan or Todd without the Yeah. Yeah, there's just so
if you want the shirt that Alex is rocking, we

(01:05:57):
have merch for sale. That's what podcasts do. They merch.
You go to Cottonbureau dot com and look up fake
doctor's real friends. It looks very good on you, my friend.
And I'm not just saying this because thank you. I'm
a little bit of a COVID fatty too, so i've
you know, it's a lot of pounds and it still
fits in there pretty well. I think. I think you
look great. I love thank you. Look you look great.

(01:06:17):
Where are you calling from? Because wherever you are right now,
the ambiance is own. Yes, you're well lit. Thank you.
I try. I'm in Bethesda, Maryland, in my house in Bethesda, Maryland,
which is a Maryland guest Joel, you can say DC
really yeah, we might grew up in DC, and my

(01:06:38):
wife and I were here when you guys started your
show back in the thousands, and we had a three
hundred and fifty square foot apartment that costs like a
million dollars when it still does. And we lived together
and we got married in that apartment and when little
Magnavox TV across the side, and we would watch Scrubs
all the time and all the DVDs whenever they would
come out, you know, after the season was over because

(01:06:59):
there's no rerun. We would just wait and wait and wait,
and finally the DVD would come out and we would
be able to watch them like NonStop. It was great.
Thank you so much for wait. So you wouldn't watch
it on series, you're just waiting for the you know,
we would watch it all in series. We would wait
like every Thursday or whenever it was out, and you know,
on our little TV because that's as big as we
could afford back then. And I'm like your guy's age,

(01:07:21):
so I'm like forty. I'm about turning forty five, so
I'm similar to your guy's age. Oh so you when
you listen back to this episode, you're gonna get all
of our night Rider and A Team references that, Oh
you might lose that quiz if I'm involved so much
of a quiz. We were just talking about how much
we loved both of those shows. They were that's we
were the targets as young boys. We were the target

(01:07:41):
demo for those two shows. Whoever could make the best
night Rider sound, you know, you were like that, Michael
and then the A Team. I mean, nobody ever died
in that show, but there were so many bullets spent.
We just talked about that. It would be magazine after
and the bad Guy and they and the bad guys

(01:08:02):
always had better guns than the two, but they had
the freaking the gun with in the back of the van.
My favorite part was when they were they would always
towards the end um to solve whatever problem was going
on in the town, they would have to construct something,

(01:08:24):
and that the theme song would kick in and they
would build something, and they never you never, they never
showed you what they were building because it was meant
to be a surprise. How they used. There was always
a wire in the sand that you wash, yeah, and
there was always some type of thing that knocked people
out of something before they blew it up. Oh yeah, absolutely.
They would have to be a tree to knock out
the people out of the van, and then the van

(01:08:45):
would go flipping. And it's kind of like that classic
Western trope of yes, we're gonna get the town together,
and they're not. They're not. They're not they're not warriors
or anything, but we're going to enlist all of them.
And there you see them prepping and sawing and and
then but it's mystery. We don't know what they're doing
no Spirit. Yes, they did it every episode though, and

(01:09:08):
every time I'm like, sorry, I mean, how do you
make it fresh? I just what was? What was? And
then you know what, they never still alive? Joel, can
you please get mister T on the show. That's all
I want from certainly, I know what they never talked

(01:09:30):
about after when the A team was over, the casualties
of the people that died in those towns, you know
what I mean, Like because you know what I mean,
like no, no, but like, but if you look at
any other movie, they don't talk about the people that
died in trying to save rock Ridge, in fucking Uh,
in that Blazing Saddles, they don't talk about all of

(01:09:53):
those people that people died. Trying to say. My father
used to say that, you know, because he was not
a fan of action movies and stuff if you liked
straight dramas and comedies. But he'd be like, what about
all their families? Right? You know, and like a like
a like a you know, stereotypic action movie where people
are just dying left and right. He's like, oh, why
why is no one going back to help? The dad

(01:10:16):
was a good dude. I remember the you guys. So, Donald,
you said something a while ago about how you were
inspired by the Transformers movie become like a stop animator.
That movie was the first time I heard a curse word,
and it was this kick butt. The dinobot said I'm
gonna kick but and I'm like, no, there's actually another
curse in that movie where Spike and uh no, uh

(01:10:41):
it's I guess it's Spike and Bumblebee. They try to
blow up this is landing an escape and uh and
Spike says to Bumblebee, oh shit, what are we gonna
do now? This was in Transformers the movie, and I
remember being a kid being like, holy cow, Spike just
said shit, yeah that's yeah. Oh my god. I might

(01:11:01):
have impressed that memory. Can't believe that in a Transformers
animated movie someone said shit, they would. Well, they also
killed Optimist Prime in this movie they killed everybody family.
What about Optimists Primes? All right, let's get into it. Alex.
You got a question. Yes, actually, Alex has a job

(01:11:22):
as story that it's it's short and we have pictures
and you must see it. Yeah, forget questions. Going to
So in two thousand and seven, I was a young
I'm an architect and I designed restaurants and hotels and
stuff like that. Um, good job on your restaurant New
York City, by the way, ZAC. And so I was
asked to go to a seminar in LA and I said, yeah,

(01:11:42):
that sounds great, And I happened to stay in West Hollywood.
And this is two thousand and seven when Google Maps,
I think it just came out. So I had to
figure out. At some point, I was like, I must
be near the scrub set, like it's got to be
around here somewhere. So there's really no Google, there's no
like Uber to take me there. So I figured it
out based on my architecture of skills by like searching
the map and figuring out this building footprint must be

(01:12:04):
the one. And so I was like, you know, what's
screw it. I have a half day off. I got
a rental car from Enterprise, not from Uber, and I
drove through whatever mountain and I found it and I
parked and I started. I was like, I'm just gonna
walk in and see what happens. So I walked in
and there's nobody at the guard station. Fucking ghost town.
Nobody there was sorry I missed track of time. This

(01:12:25):
is after we were done filming or I guess. So
it was July two thousand seven. July two thousand and seven,
so you must have been out of filming. I guess. Yeah,
we're not filming in July. We were, we wouldn't be
filming at all. But but but but I can see
from your pictures that no, we were still filming there. Yeah,
we were just down. We were down for the summer
or something. Yeah, it was between seasons. You're between sea.

(01:12:47):
I think I didn't. I just walked in. It was open,
literally open, So I'm I'm like, hello, is anybody in there? Nothing,
nobody's coming out, nobody's saying anything to hear any words.
I mean, anybody could have walked in there. So I
took my little camera no cell phone cameras, and I
walked around and I couldn't believe it. And I'm like,
oh my god, here i am at the nurse decision.

(01:13:08):
Oh my god, I'm at the cafeteria. Oh my god,
I'm at coffee Bucks. I'm literally walking through your guys
is set slash building. And as I'm walking through, you nervous,
did you think like that someone's gonna like arrest you
very very nervous. Did you just stay on the first floor?
Did you make it up to No, I didn't. I
didn't go up. I was terrified of being there in

(01:13:30):
the first all right. We could tell the audience that
we that were looking on zoom a shared screen of
all of these pictures of Alex walking through the empty hospital. Yeah,
and it was Alex, did you kill anyone on you? There?
Maybe a dead body. Well, they're a body buried somewhere.
There's a lot of the next slide, the dead guard

(01:13:53):
I told you wasn't there, but you never know because
I killed him. You said there was a story once
a how you guys hit stuff above the ceiling tiles
and then not on purpose. Someone's hit rowdy to get
back at Bill. Oh, it's no surprise anything. Was that there?
Half the ceiling tiles were missing when I got there. Yeah,
well yeah, so that that was also, Uh, that's a
that was a Bill and uh, that was a Bill

(01:14:16):
Lawrence thing. He wanted the hospital to feel like it
was old funds. It was literally low on funds. Yeah,
and I don't know how you guys managed their day
to day. I mean, it's it was a dump, no
effect there was a sign. There was a sign outside
Editorial that was just the size of a piece of paper,
and it said, like, this is to officially warn anyone

(01:14:38):
in this building that the following toxic chemicals are in
this I mean asbestos and gotten mulled and god knows
what else. I mean, it was an ancient old hospital
that was meant to be torn down. But we were like,
wait before you teared, before we're going, yeah, we understand

(01:14:58):
it's a safety hazard. Yes, we under stand that has
black mold and asbestos and a zillion other problems, but
we're just gonna quickly spend nine years. It scared me
like crazy. I was trying to piece together like where
you guys were in different scenes and stuff, just from
watching the show. Like a lot of people will put
together old sitcoms and figure out how this set is

(01:15:18):
sort of figured out or what it would like recently,
that Sinfold department doesn't make any any sense, no zero sense,
But this one, I mean, the building doesn't lie. It's
a character in the show. Yeah, And so I was
just fascinated. As a young architect, I'm like I have
to go piece this together. I sort of put it
together in my mind obviously, but just being there absolutely
blew my mind. And I can end with you making

(01:15:39):
a full scale model. I hope something. I could build
it in three D and walk you through it, probably
right now. Yeah, that's a I could make you a
video game with Scrubs Hospital as the main place. I pitched.
I pitched to Bill all the time that we should
make a Scrubs animated series, stop motion animated series. We
would need somebody to rebuild the hospital if he ever

(01:16:01):
signs off on that. Oh my lord, that would be amazing.
You'd have to include the black mold though, that's the
critical partner. Oh yeah, of course we'd have an episode
of based on listen doctors. Real friends don't encourage you
to sneak into your favorite TV show sets. But Alex,
you did it successfully. No one was harmed. Oh back
in the day, I survived. But um, I have an

(01:16:22):
apropos question to that from I Fix my Life. But yes,
go it's time for Maryland's favorite segment. Donald, it's time
too fix you. So I have I have questions for you,
But I the fix of my life. I told you, well,
I said, I yield and he fixed my life? Or

(01:16:44):
good advice to my almost twelve year old daughter. Um,
she you know, I can fix my own life. I
got I got lots of things. I'm your guy's age.
I can manage. But she is really interested in theater
and film, and she's a young lady who wants to learn.
She zactly she was following your lovely lady Florence through
her trials in Black Widow. And she would always tell

(01:17:06):
me how fascinated she was that Florence would give shout
outs to the crew, and she said that was so honorable,
and she said, I always wanted to be there as
part of that crew who would set things up. I
was walking the other day and we happened to see
his teeny like one camera independent photo shoot. Somebody was
holding a boom, like a real boom mic and she's like,
I just got chills. Oh that's why I was like, well,

(01:17:26):
that's what I was like. She's almost twelve. I would
literally like this is so dorky, but I would I
would set up what I thought a film set looked
like in my dining room. I had nothing to shoot,
I had no one to film, but I would like
put a clip light here and put my little video
camera in a tripod, and my mom would be like,
can I clean up the dining room? Or like, Mom,
it's a hot set. You can't tell. And I remember

(01:17:49):
being I remember I would just walk by the dining
room where I had set up what I thought a
movie set, looked like there was nothing. I had no
plan of anything I was filming. I just thought it
was cool that I had a mom film set in
my dining room. So there you go. It sounds like
your girl was a lot like I was. Is there
a lot of theater in you guys' town? She well,

(01:18:09):
I grew up doing high school theater. I was like
the unsuspecting lead in all the plays. I never knew
I had it, I mean, and that just went poof.
So I always act. I always admire the stories of
your dad having theater in his blood still later in
his life. I sort of aspire to that. But she's
you know, she went to theater camp every summer. She
got this last one. She went to a place called
Glenn Echo and it's an adventure theater. It's right down

(01:18:31):
here in DC. It's fantastic. They're so good, and she
was always good at the theater part. She's very very good,
but she just loved She's like, I wonder how long
it's going to take to reset that scene? You know,
She's like, that's what gets her going. So it sounds
like she might be as interested in the behind the
scenes as she is in being an actress. That's exactly right,
mister Raff. She was very much interested in that. So

(01:18:54):
I promised her one day, I will take you out
to I guess Los Angeles and we will figure out
a way to go be a fly on the wall
at a TV shoot or a film shoot or whatever
it is, because she would just absolutely drop dead. Well,
the easiest thing to do, by the way, is uh,
you know, the easiest unless you have a connection to
someone who's shooting, especially now COVID. You know, pretend COVID's over.

(01:19:14):
When COVID's over. But you can take her to a
sitcom taping because my father they're always they're dying to
have audiences, you know, they really they really want you
to do it. And my father, when I was her age,
brought me to I've told this on the podcast, to
a taping of the Bob Newhart Show. Um, and I
you know she will love that because that is that
is the best way to just kind of watch behind

(01:19:35):
the scenes of production and and uh and and be
able to sit there. But sorry, go ahead with your
with your Well that's that's sort of it. So you
guys live in this world every day. And so if
you were in my shoes and you were just some
civilian architect who wanted to make his daughter's dreams come true,
how would you figure out a way to put her
in the position to be part of the behind the
scenes and just like be sneaking in and just watching

(01:19:56):
a set go by, Like I don't even know how
to make that manifest that dream. My life is really
good at manifesting things, like willing things into existence, but
this is can't figure it out. Well. Normally, if it
were non COVID times, we could easily figure out a
way to get you on some set because we could ask, Wow,
we could ask one of our friends apprently shooting. The
problem is in this day and age, yeah, you're not

(01:20:19):
even allowed on, Like I can't even have My mom
keeps saying I can't wait to visit the set of
your new movie. I'm thinking, like, Mom, you can't listen
to I don't have the heart to break it to you.
But but so so, yeah, you're gonna have to wait
until this this apocalypse is fully over. But my answer
is the easiest thing is go online and if you're
listening and you're interested in this for your kid or

(01:20:40):
for yourself as well, look into how you get tickets
to a sitcom taping because they are always looking to
recruit audiences. Obviously, if it's a popular show, it can
be harder to get tickets. But another one that's tricky
to get tickets too, but you can you if you're clever,
you can figure it out is SNL, which is amazing, Yeah,

(01:21:01):
because really difficult to get. But don't you're not if
he wants to do the first one in line and
wait overnight, he could do. I mean, it depends how
hardcore you want to be. But my point is SNL
is so fun because you're watching, uh I remember watching
when I was. You're watching them the crew, amazing crew
move like a Swiss watch all these sets live during

(01:21:22):
the commercial break. So that's that's really thrilling. And but
the first thing that comes to mind is is a
sitcom audience because I also believe that they're going to
start allowing people back once they're vaxed and tested into
sitcom audiences. Yeah, in terms of going on a real
movie set, I don't have an answer for you right now,
but we will ruminate on it and tell JU, well,

(01:21:44):
if we can think of anything. Oh yeah, well we can.
We have time on our side, so we'll go out
there and poke around. So so you might think about
sending her to a camp that I don't know if
this camp that she goes to that also has a
video production, because some of them do. Yeah, we're gonna
try that. Next really wants to be behind the camera.
I know there's the popular the one I went to
that I always advertise his stage door manner um. The

(01:22:07):
other popular one is French Woods Woods. But also just
research because some of these have a film and TV
programs that are, you know, just as intense as their
theater program That's so cool. Yeah, I'll when the world
opens back up, Joel, I'll be sure to ring you
and let you know where in the area. Yeah, a
young girl in the film industry feels like the right thing,

(01:22:27):
especially for an aspiring lady who wants to be there professionally.
Oh yeah, we'd support that a lot. And I know Donald.
You have, you know, kids who probably live next to
your world constantly, and so it's got to be pretty
fascinating for you to see them. I don't want them.
I don't want them anywhere near my world, to be
honest with you, like and and and my kids show

(01:22:48):
interest too, and it's like, I don't want to I
don't want that for you. But it's not up to
me at the end of the day. Well, if you
want to have equal amount of anxiety about their future,
just make them put them in architecture. That'll be right
there about the same guarantee. Also, Alex, I was thinking,
you know, there's some I don't know if it's too
mature for her, but there's some master classes that are cool,

(01:23:10):
like Ron Howard did one. Yeah, we we have the
master Class subscription and definitely show her. There's definitely some
behind the scenes filmmaking ones. I know I watched Laurn
Howard one out of curiosity. Um, those might really those
might really interest her. Yeah, yeah, we definitely do. But yeah,
literally one day. I mean, you know, if you have kids,

(01:23:31):
you know, just seeing the surprise and the amazement on
their faces when they get this thing that shows up
in their life that they never thought would exist. It's
just it's not. It's not for me, It's not I
have a surprise for you, Alex, because not yet. Wait
till I introduce you. Oh no, hold on, I gotta
figure out how to do this with my mic Can
you hear me? All right, it's gonna sound shitty for

(01:23:56):
a second, but we have a very special surprise visitor
on today show to end the show? Oh my god,
do you want to get one of your things and
sing something? Um? All right, so this is a surprise,
not planning. Okay, do you guys like surprises? Yeah? You
can come in and then tune while you. I've been

(01:24:17):
surprised all day since Joel called me. I've been kidding me, Alex,
because I didn't because I didn't successfully fix your life.
I just had some mild No come in first, friend,
come in. No, it's been tuned, Preston tuned it, ladies
and gentlemen, A total surprise, mister Joshua Raded. Oh my

(01:24:42):
yes a day o shoon? What's up? Brother? How are
this is our guest? Alex? Yeah? Thank You're going to
get you one of those and you know Joel, And
that's a day This is such an honor, Josh. I've
been I've been a fan of yours since the beginning

(01:25:04):
of Scrubs and since Gardens dating all the things when
Zach introduced you more to the world than ever. Thank
you so much. Well, it's so, it's such a nice
pleasure to meet Donald. Why do we want him to sing? Donald?
He was supposed to meet me, but he came a
little early. What are you guys doing in fucking New
York without me? First of all, we're gonna have motherfucker, Josh.
You're supposed to be like in Sweden or some shit

(01:25:26):
like well he was doing in New York. Listen, what
the fuck is going on that you two are hanging
out and I'm sitting in my fucking house in California
while you're doing fucking running around New York City having
a good time together. Man, coming back, body, this is
some bullshit right now. I need you to calm down. Okay,
cannot calm down. I'm up to safe. God damn, I

(01:25:47):
will not be calmed n Dan, You're gonna have to
turn that volume way down. Okay, Um do you let
started off the show talking about these Jose ain't loyal,
These Hoose ain't fucking loyal? All right? Look at him.
To two of them, Hose schilling together. You're missing you're

(01:26:11):
you're missing your bottom, bitch, motherfuckers, you're missing it down bottom,
bitch that Josha said, Josh. Josh just said, Josh, just
while you were screaming goes twice a week. Huh he
recorded this time? All right, listen, this was not this
was not planned. But Josh has a new album out
called What Josh. It's called The Ghost and the Wall,

(01:26:31):
The Ghost and the Wall, which you listeners should listen
to and pick up. And now Josh is going to
surprise us with a track from Ghost in the Wall.
Hey guess what you guys. So this was hanging on
the wall in Zach's apartment. It's actually my guitar. Zach
bought this for me as a birthday present my thirtieth birthday.

(01:26:51):
I think, wow and uh. And I decided many years
ago to leave it on the wall here so anytime
I'm here I can play it. Um thinking what I'm
gonna do to make this more professionals. Give you the
headphones so you sound like you want to sound right?
I don't care, well, just singing to the mic. Yeah,
that's what you do. But what you're gonna do is
seeing into this microphone. Okay, all right, you see one

(01:27:17):
of those before? All right, nobody talked during the song. Okay,
Alex for God, can we move this down just to
touch wherever you want it? Like that? Like oh, there's
no video. There's no video. We day dreaming about putting
it on YouTube one day, but Donald won't update his
fucking camera. He stole the iheard camera and put used
it for his fucking animation. Hey cock nos, shut up,

(01:27:39):
watch stick cock nose and Josh, let's call it. He
just said to stick on my cock nose in your
twat ear. He's got one whole nose. Okay, let's creative.
Everybody calm down. Here is Josh. What's this song called Josh?

(01:27:59):
This one's called hey you Hey, you here we go? Yeah?
Hey you fuck Donald? Leave him in California. Put the
headphones on er now, no, I'll where do you guys
do this? Okay? I love the Josh was like you
do this twice a week. Are here we go? Here's
shot you? Where are you going? Because I need ride?

(01:28:27):
Were out here? Now? The bridge on my fire only
a week, but it seemed like here. I know I'll
never come back. Fall of the Sun as its sun
west away from the rest of the world. Jez good,

(01:28:57):
Come on faster, don't as why you know it's hard
to run from the hurting sight. Hey, you come away
with me. I've got a room for your baggage to

(01:29:21):
another day when there's only tomorrow, tomorrow to night I'm
spending with you. You know will ever come back? Father
Sun as it's inn west, hide away from the rest
of the world. Jez go, Come on faster, don't ask

(01:29:51):
why you know it's hard to run from the hurting sight.
Sometimes we run just to stay alive. Who just go,

(01:30:26):
come on fast, don't as swear you know it's hard
to run from the home inside. Sometimes we run just
to stay alive. Hey, you come away with I need

(01:30:51):
a ride. We had it here. Thank you, Thank you
so much, Thanks for brilliant Thanks for letting me look
at Donald's face for a little bit. I was beautiful.
What a fun, what fun? That was amazing beautiful? The ghost,

(01:31:18):
the ghost in the wall. Everybody go check it out. Um,
that's our show. Don't say we don't bring amazing guests.
Alex Good luck with everything holy. Your daughter just blessed
the world with some Joshua Raydon. Everything is great, everything
is grand. You got the whole world in the palm
of your hand. You also got josh Raiding performing songs

(01:31:41):
for you. Buddy. Dot's just put it that way. Treated
me for twenty five years, and I well, don't never
say we don't do shit for you, buddy. All right, everybody,
we love you, and um, we'll see you next time. Alex,
thanks for coming on. Thank you guys the best. My six, seven,

(01:32:02):
eight stories about show we made about a bunch of
doctor nurses and Jannita who love me. Here I said,
here's the stories. Netural should go. So gather around you. Here, Ire,
gather around you. Here are script for you on shore
winds and no mm hmmm