604: My House

On this week's episode, Scrubs takes on House MD. In the real world, we're getting excited about our first red carpet experience for Cheaper by the Dozen! 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys there, how you doing. I didn't know you
were in town. I'm so happy to see you in
your closet. Yeah, man, I'm out. It's hard, you know.
People were complaining about it. Good to see you, Joel.
People were complaining about it, good to see you Danel.
Could see Zach, people complaining about that we didn't put
a show up last week. Like if you look at

(00:20):
you know, they were everybody sometimes, you know, as as
I shared with you, I got a lot going on
in my life. Also, Donald Faison has got a lot
of work happening, and occasionally we miss a show. But
we love you so much and appreciate you so much,
and we want to remind you that we had no

(00:41):
idea there'd be this much interest in the two of
us slash the four of us, just rambling about old
times and nonsense. Tell me which character you want me
to play in this show, because I think I should
play him? All right? I saw listen to Webb Let's
get this showing now. I saw the interwebs. There was

(01:04):
some chatter Donald's playing X, Zach should play why? And
of course you know that I don't know who these
people are, right, Okay, So here's what it is. Everyone
believes that you should play Ted Chord. That's the original
Blue Beetle. Before Himie Rayes becomes the Blue Beetle, there
was the original Blue Beetle. Now, I don't know much

(01:25):
about Ted Chord, but like you know, I didn't know
much about Booster Gold until you know, I had to
do research. All right, well, I will play Ted Chord
if you're listening. When you're in charge of this, isn't
it a BERLANDI show? Yeah, man, so just tell them
I'll do it. Are you gonna be on more episodes

(01:47):
or is that just a cameo? Well? All right, so
here's how it's supposed to go. If the show goes,
I'm a regular on Legends that tomorrow next season. Wow,
oh my god, that's how it's posted. That's that's why
would the show not go. Isn't it an ongoing show?
It's been on for a while, you know, it's been
on four I think this was its seventh season. What's

(02:09):
crazy is that I was such a fan of the
show before it even still, like I've watched every season
of the show. I've been talking about Legends since we
started the podcast. I'm like, do you guys watch Legends,
and you guys will sometimes are like nope, and sometimes
you guys are nice and they're like, I've heard of it.
But you know, I'm just surprised that Joel doesn't because

(02:29):
you know, this is her jam. Yeah, listen, I really
enjoy what CW does. There's too many shows now to
keep in like up with all of them, but I
do like it. And I did see the Giant Teddy
Bear episode and it's a classic. It really hits. It's
it's well, you know, I'm a huge fan of the show,
and I really do like, you know, the Arrow verse.

(02:52):
I loved Arrow when it first came on. I loved
the Flash. I love Legends. I didn't necessarily watch Batgirl
and I didn't uh, And I didn't necessarily watch Black Lightning,
which is crazy because those are the ones with all
the black people on it. Lightning that is mystifying. You know.
I think maybe because I wanted to be Black Lightning

(03:14):
and I was hating on it. That's what it is.
You didn't made a great Black Lightning. Well you know
now I'm boost to Gold and so congratulations. I know
that it brought you a lot of happiness and I
saw a lot of people on the internet's very excited
about you playing golf. Yeah, well they are also good thing.

(03:36):
Good thing the character was called upon to play golf
because you're you're such a good player these days. Right,
they didn't really capture my swing. No, I'm gonna keep
it one hundred with ye. I'm a little upset about it. Oh,
you don't like the way you looked playing golf. No,
I like the way I looked playing golf. It's just
that you don't really see me playing goal. It's golf.
It's like a bunch of shots of the ball getting hit,
you know, never really a full swing. How's your tennis

(03:58):
game these days? Because you were you're back to tennis.
I watched playing tennis for a bit, and now I
am not playing tennis. Work has gotten in the way
of a lot of things. Well, that's a high class problem,
don Those are the type of problems I like to have.
You know what I'm saying. Those are the type of
problems I like to have. Dude. Did you guys see
the Obi Wan trailer? Oh? Yeah, yeah, absolutely, Holy fuck, Yo,

(04:23):
I can't hit I still said, yo, No, it's really happening. Yo.
We have a black aqui. Yo. Oh my god, it
looks good. It looks row. Oh my god, god, do
you think Jimmy Smith is gonna show up? It's all
I can think. Oh man, I hope listen, I hope listen.

(04:43):
The way it looks, it looks like Maul could show
up at some point. This man, like so much could happen. Holy,
you're right on time. Oh my god. And it's all
directed by Deborah show The uh yeah, the the incredible
Debra Chow, who directed a lot of people's favorite Mandalorian

(05:04):
season one episodes. Yeah, and also Obi Wad looks like
it's gonna be my favorite series. He's so handsome. I'm sorry,
but like he's so No. I'm just saying I said
this before that he moves my Kinsey scale. But every
time he talks that gravelly voice and his face, he's fine.
He's fine. He's come a long away from train spotting.

(05:30):
I'm just saying. I'm just saying he's fine. I'm I'm
in how Florida you allow you're not allowed to say
gay anymore? Well, in La you can say a man.
It's fine, yes, no shame right, Daniel, Oh, most certainly
you have no idea how excited I got. Well, you do,

(05:51):
you kind of do? But that oh my god, Well
in my universe, I was cranking tick Tick Boom in
my car yesterday. I really love that soundtrack that Andrew Garfields.
He's so talented. You did watch it, right, Donald? Oh? Yes?
Do you listen to it in your car? Ever? I don't.

(06:12):
I recommend it. It's not my La La Land. You
know what I mean. It's not it's you know, Lala.
I liked the music from La La Land. Well, I
want to encourage you folks before the Oscars come to
watch tick Tick Boom, because I believe Andrew Garfield should
win for Best Actor. Oh dude, he crushes it. That
that being said, right, okay, you want to talk about

(06:33):
killing it. So far from what I've seen, I think
he's done a great job. I haven't seen Denzel yet,
I haven't seen pretty much anyone else, but so far
from anything else. We all know the audience and us.
We all know that you don't really watch things that
aren't DC Marvel Star Wars that don't start with basketball. Well,

(06:59):
I do love Those are the categories. Those are the categories. Yes, um,
not necessarily in that order. But those are the categories.
And Myron Kerstein, who's edited all of my films thus
far until this new one, a good person. Um, he
is nominated for editing. Tichtick Blooming could very well win. Wow,

(07:20):
that's amazing, go get it. So m Even though they're
doing this weird thing with the everyone's fighting back is
they're they're trying to make the Oscars broadcast. Well really
have anyone watch it? Um? The ratings are so low,
and so they're trying to be trying all these new
techniques to shorten it and and and it always upsets

(07:41):
everyone under understandably because this year they're trying things like
they're going to give out the Editing Award, for example,
during a commercial break, and then show video of the
acceptance speech like during the show, which is really lame,
because I gotta tell you, an editor is is, and
a film is made with an editor and a director

(08:02):
sitting next to each other. The idea that of all categories.
I mean, I don't know, maybe this is controversial to
some people, you know, animated short, sorry Donald, regular short,
documentary short, maybe consider doing that to those, But editor, composer,
I just think it's such an insult to the positions

(08:25):
that are such crucial to filmmaking. That's my monologue. I agree.
I agree, especially because I think it's mostly like film
fanatics watching the show, so it seems like you're alienating
the one group of people determined to see it. Someone
had a great theory that the show should be more

(08:46):
like the super Bowl, where it's four hours long but
cut into three parts. So the first part is your documentary,
is your short, it's the stuff that only like the
super film buffs want to see. Then you have like
a super Bowl halftime show, it's like the Oscar halftime
where it's all the musical performance, full out, big stage,
maybe done it like the Hollywood Bowl. And then in
the final segment you're doing all the big categories. You're

(09:07):
writing your best actor, best director, And that way it's
appointment television. So if you only want to see the
big stuff at the end, you can tune in when
that's coming. If you only want to see the performances,
you can tune in there. But nobody's left out. It's
a big event, and and it's sort of more of
a like appointment scheduled watch, like you're gonna want to
watch live that's that's clever. I mean I saw the
producer defending it and he's like, look, everybody, calm down.

(09:29):
This is this is an entertainment property that every year
less and less people watch. So we're trying to figure
out a way to change that trajectory. And I understand that.
But if you're a film geek like we all are,
and you want to I love it. Donald and Casey
come over. We have a fake Oscar. It's called the Braffy,

(09:50):
and we have we and other friends too, and we
and we and we fill out our forms. Donald is
totally guessing because he hasn't seen any of them. The
case he won one year, and if you win, you
get to keep the Braffy for for a whole year.
You got to give a speech to Casey's give a
speech cases one twice and you give a speech. You

(10:13):
give a speech at the end of the Oscar is
usually intoxicated about how you're better than everybody else. Well,
you know, the Oscars fucked up this year. That's pretty
much what happened. They should have nominated Spider Man. Well,
that'll win for They added a category for a fan favorite,
which I'm sure Spider Man will take right. That's what
well they should have They should have done that from

(10:34):
the gate and they would have had a lot of
people tune in. Um. I want to talk about something, guys.
This is the premiere of Cheaper by the Dozen this week. Yes,
and I'm so excited that all three of you were coming.
We got to get a picture on the red carpet together.
It'll be our first time the four of us on
our red carpet together. Very very interesting. I love the

(10:56):
optimism of first time they'll be I'm really excited. Um. Uh,
it's it's for those of you listening, and uh it's
it's this Friday, the eighteenth, So please check it out.
I promise you if you have kids, they are gonna
love it. And I promise you I've seen it. It's hilarious.
If you're an adults, you're gonna crack up. There's a

(11:17):
lot of obviously, if you're listening to this, you love scrubs,
and there's definitely some scrubs as humor in it, and
there's a lot of heart in it. And the kids
are wonderful actors, and Gabby Union is wonderful and I
just I know I'm selling it. But but please mark
it down. It's on Disney Plus March eighteenth, and and
I'm really proud of it, and you can You're gonna
you're gonna love it. I'm excited, man, it's gonna be excited.

(11:39):
I'm so stoked. And we're all going to the premiere together.
It's been a while since I've been to a premiere.
I know. I'm really glad you're coming, and you're bringing
your kids, which will be fun. You know, I don't
show up to things like this, man, you know how
I am, buddy. I only like to go to Star
Wars premieres. You know this is at the El Cappy Tan. Man,

(11:59):
this is no doubt. I like to go to them
Disney things. Man, Disney's they know how to hook it up.
I'm telling you. Whatever the carnival is, whatever the thing
is that they got planned for the kids, I'm so
excited for it. Oh. I can't wait. Oh, I can't wait.
I can't wait for the dude to come up on
stage and play the Indiana Jones themes they play. For
those of you've never been to the El Capittan, It's
Disney's Theater on Hollywood Boulevard, and they have an old

(12:22):
school organist that rises from the stage before the movie
and plays like themes from from classic movies. You know
which one When he plays Indiana Jones. It's the best
because he played I Ain't nothing like that on a
France giant organ and then he slowly lowers down into

(12:43):
the stage and the curtain opens. It's so cool, so epic,
And there's a little museum downstairs you see like different
costumes and art pieces for the movies. It's the best.
How long has that been there forever? The little museum downstairs? Yeah,
since I've been going, so like five years ago at least. Wow,
I haven't. I haven't been to the Captain in Ages,

(13:04):
So I'm still to go check that out. Well, I'm
really glad you're all coming coming to and and Elvis
is going to be wearing a three piece suit with
a bow tie. Oh my gosh, are we are we
all dressing up? We were getting wet? Dress up. I'm
dressing up. I'm dressing up. I want I have a fitting.

(13:24):
I have a fitting after this from my outfit listen,
like going to these things because you gotta get dressed
up and shit and look all sharp. That's a lot
of somebody. You have plenty of dope suits in that closet. Bine,
I got a pretty I got a lot of dope
sweatsuits up in this stop. Our very first thing for
Scrubs we went to We've told this story, I think,

(13:45):
but our very first event we showed up at. We
were all dressed in the nines and Donald was literally
like in a T shirt and had I had a sweater.
And remember one of the paparazzo guys was like, what's
a matter of Donald didn't get the memo? Shade Fuck
that dude, about that Fuck that dude? Still still all right,

(14:09):
let's get into it, Donald count of seven eight about
show we made about a bunch of dots and nurses
stories natural. So yeadoo around here, yeadoo around here. M

(14:35):
Elliot's in private practice. This is a this is an
homage to the to House. I guess House at this
point in in in in the mid uh what he
called aughts in the mid oughts must have been very
popular because it was time for us to spoof House. Yes,
I've never watched one episode. I've never seen a single
episode of House. I only know that he has a

(14:56):
cane and that he figures out mysteries and they do
flashbacks that have that look that we mocked in our
in our show. That's all I know about House, but
people loved it. Oh and he's mean and he's mean. Yeah,
and Olivia Wilde was once on that show. I know
that too. Okay, I don't know any that is the

(15:16):
extent of my House knowledge. I know they solved a mystery, right,
they solved a mystery of rip. And as I saw
on scrubs Wicky, I believe in the pilot episode they
solve a mystery of why a man is orange? Really? Oh,
little scrubs Wicky trivia for you. Wow. Um, all right,
so yeah is orange because of the same reason scrubs

(15:38):
Wicky didn't say. But scrubs Wicky said that they solve
an orange related mystery. Okay. John Punch directed this wonderful director.
We love John Punch. We do love John Punch. John
Puch was fast. That's why. See by the time we
got to season six, we were like, we liked them
when they were good and fast, and John Punch was
good and fast. What did you think of the episode

(16:01):
in a Hole? I had a few laugh moments. Um,
not one of my favorites, but I definitely laughed a
few times. Some funny physical comedy, very funny physical commentation. Um.
Let's open with Elliott has become a private practice doctor,
which means she's going to make more money, and we
cut to Turk. She's saying, does anyone everything they want

(16:22):
to say? And next to Turk is Johnny Oh, the
bearded fella. Is that was our props? Yes he was,
and he was a great guy. Is a great guy,
and he also was responsible for coming up for some
of those wacky ass props including NiFe French Knife French
and Um the business card maker, Slash paintball gun Um

(16:46):
that's featured in the episode, and also the at one point,
I remember in one of the episodes, there's a squirrel,
a taxi dermine squirrel that's also a pepper grinder, and
you you turn its head and grinds pemper, which probably
wouldn't be p very pc for two thy twenty two,

(17:06):
but he did make that prop an amazing crop. I
would love to have I would love to own the thought,
but I don't know where it is. Johnny Yo probably
has it somewhere. You're gonna get mail for that I don't, Well,
it was atty. It's already made. It's not like I'm

(17:27):
saying kill the squirrel. Um. I laughed. I did laugh
out loud. When JD goes to kiss kim and his
leg is up, yeah, I wrote that down. He's a
leg up kisser. Now is is Kimmy? She doesn't seem
that into JD? You know, I think she is into JD.

(17:49):
Let's put the situation under a microscope real quick. She's
definitely into JD. But she's also pregnant and she's got
the opportunity of a lifetime. I know. But bro, she's
pregnant with a guy, and she and I know she's
got a big work opportunity. I don't know it. Just
I watched the episode and I was like, does she

(18:09):
she into them him? I mean sometimes when they're kissing,
it seems like she is, and she laughs his jokes
and everything. But I'm like, gosh, if you've just caught
him pregnant and you were newly really into someone and
the pregnancy was like an oops, but you were going
to go for it, moving away is so drastic. I
know it's an opportunity, but for crucial pregnancy months and

(18:32):
JD can't have phone sex, we learned because he when
does he say about phone sex? He says he phone
sexes out of the question because I'm I'm a righty
when I talk on the phone, but I'm also right
when I teach Mini JD who Daddy? I don't know? Yes.

(18:54):
By the way, scrubs Wicki pointed out that j D
is a is a what do you call it in baseball?
When you can hit both ways? He's ambidextrous, No, Daniel,
what is it called? Ambidextrous is the worst? They're a
baseball term when you when you when you when you
can hit either way? A switch hitter? Why did Joel
and I know you guys don't nailed it. I want

(19:16):
you to know that. Scrubs Wiki points out that JD
is clearly a switch hitter because he has hurt his
left hand and yelled, oh my mean time hand, and
in this episode he's saying he's but I like it.

(19:41):
I prefer me time hand to the expression teach Mini JD,
who daddy is? It's so funny though. You see Bill
in two thousand and six trying to get these jokes
on NBC, and you know, you think of it. Now
we're all watched streaming and everything is, you know, relaxed
and different. But this were like this, This was very

(20:05):
progressive to get masturbation jokes on on on NBC in
two thousand and six. So Mozeltough Bill so Kelso's pissed
at Elliott's leaving. He gives quite a monologue about it. Yeah,
quite a monologue. He equates it the hospital putting all

(20:26):
that time in and her leaving to go to business,
to him paying a working gal so much money over
the years, and her leaving him at dinner before before
before before consummating the evening. But it's a very funny monologue.
I was going to write it down, but it was
too long and that I thought Scrubs. I thought Scrubs

(20:48):
Wicky might have it, but they didn't. Thanks a lot, Trevor, Trevor,
that needs to be added. I have a note for you,
Um that monologue is too special to not be added
to the Scrubs wiki dialogue section. Yes, very funny, ken
so funny. So you steal a baby by accident? Yes,
Now I don't understand why you keep the baby. It

(21:08):
just seems to me that the normal thing to do
would be to run and return the baby, but you
hold you close the door and hold on to the baby. Right,
But there are a lot of things that are fishy
with that moment, you know what I mean, there's something
fishy in Denmark. Why wasn't Leonard the security guard, the
one who's comes through and says, you don't think Leonard's
the only security guard in the hospital, He's just featured.

(21:30):
It would attract better. I'm just saying it would have
been funny. Maybe maybe Randall wasn't available, that the hook
was out being shined, but that was funny. And then
but I but my first reaction was like, if you
accidentally took the wrong baby, wouldn't you run it back,

(21:51):
closes the door. But I feel like there's jail time
and shit like that that could be in that he's
trying to avoid. You're a doctor. It's not like you
really were running out of the baby out of the
hospital with the What about when you say the ice
packs you've been putting on your hooie ye yeah yeah,

(22:15):
yeah yeah yeah. Now, if you don't live in the
United States, you might be like, think that's a joke,
but this is actually what they do in this country.
They up charge every single thing because if they assume
it's going to be covered by insurance, and so the
charges when you look at your bill, you just can't
fathom what they charged for, like to advil an ice pack,

(22:39):
because because it's just a mess with our our system
not to go down that road. But I just know
that people in other countries are like, probably don't understand
the joke. I know that, I know that Florence is
often so confused by the American health system and I
have to explain it to her. And so I'm just
as that as I laughed at that joke, I was like,

(23:00):
I bet you in other other countries, people are like,
what do you mean forty dollars for an ice pack? Yeah,
that's just that just sounds expensive in America. I don't
give a fuck where it is, dude, Like in other
and in other countries, do they not pay for ice packs?
Is that what you're telling I'm just saying they have
universal healthcare free in many many, many of our many
of our listeners countries have universal healthcare that giving birth

(23:23):
to a baby's free. Did you ever seen that viral
video of them? A guy walked around If you guys
search for this if you want. Guy walked around the
UK asking people how much how much it cost to
have a baby in the United States out of pocket
and their reactions are hilarious. Um, what do they like?
What did they say? Like? No, they just can't believe it.

(23:44):
I won't I won't do the video justice, but you
can google it and you'll laugh. There it is, um
all right, Um, so let's take a break and then okay,
and we're bad now. I always think it's weird when

(24:08):
you reference TV shows on TV shows. I brought this
up before and Cox is like, this isn't a TV show.
There aren't cameras all around and he's referencing House right.
I just I know that's like supposed to be meta,
but it's I don't know, it's a pet peeve of mine.
I'm not a fan of it. Yeah, Um, I don't.
I don't mind it on this because it's you know,

(24:30):
it's it's scrubs and a broad comedy. Yeah, and we've
and we've done shit like this. I would have hoped
we would have gone even further and it would have
pulled back when you would have saw Rich and them
sitting on the camera filming the whole thing, you know
what I mean. If you're gonna do it, do it.
Then you pull back and see a cameraman and then
make a joke about like, oh, they're filming a documentary
about getting birth over there or something right right right.

(24:53):
That's like when we did that joke with the tailor,
Erica thinks it's the last time it's Americo and you
know they look great, right right. That's it was hilarious.
Um I I laughed out loud when the baby throw
throws you a peace sign. That was very funny. That

(25:16):
was Yeah. Effect is pretty good and not bad, not
bad effects. Listen, the visual effects on this show were
always pretty bad. Um, but I gotta say not too
shabby for two thousand and six budget. Yeah. The stories told,
well you get exactly what's happening, but it's so cute.
It gives you a little peace sign. Yeah, um, Ted

(25:42):
getting hit with the Ted getting hit with the paintball
cracking me up. So funny. Oh I've been hit and
been him fallen. Um So Kelso and the janitor's whole
stick with the paint gun I thought was pretty funny. Yeah.
So j D buys um Kim a star are, and
he keeps trying to think of every single thing. This

(26:04):
happened to even my my first email address. I remember
trying to at AOL like right when email began, and
I remember trying to come up with something. Anything I
could think of related to my name or any combination
was taken. So I ended up with the wackiest thing,
which I still have today. But JD tries to buy
a star for Kim, and everything he can think of

(26:24):
his taken. So he comes up with frickle fart ninety
And it's because and it's because the right, it's because
of the freckle on her butt. What is the fart part?
But she's lactose intolerant and then and and she's what
is it? She's graduated and that and he's like and

(26:48):
he's like exactly, Um, Jad's lucky a lot, man, Do
you get he get his Does that? Does that even
sound right? JD's lucky a lot. JD's lucky a lot.
JD's I think we've said this before that j Jad
does well with the ladies. The forces snow, not with

(27:09):
just that. The force is strong with that man, like
you know, sure he gets his bumps and bruises and
stuff like that, but keeping one hundred, he he gets
out of a lot of messes. Yes, what about what
about when he's the whole stick with the car? I
thought was so funny. I've been running back, well the

(27:30):
whole I thought that that was really funny. When I
was sliding around the car and then the gas tank
opens and I'm like, and I'm trying to get into
a comfortable position, and then it starts pulling off that
ship was hilarious, Like, how could you leave that guy?
You know what I mean? How could you leave? That's
like the most endearing and the cutest thing ever. And
then the motherfucker running back, sprinting back. For those of

(27:53):
you like weird trivia, when that car is pulling down
the barking lot, all that you'll see a whole bunch
of crap. That's that's wraps next to the building. That's
all pieces of set and like it's all like set
walls and like and and no one like park a

(28:13):
bus in front of it, guys or an ambulance. No
one took the time. But you'll you'll what you see
in the deep background is what looks like a bunch
of garbage strapped to a wall, is set walls, the
paint falling on coxes. Wait, you're skipping the mural, which
is the which is the most glorious mural I've ever
seen in my life? How much we do you love

(28:34):
to have a copy of that mural? I don't know
about what your head cut off? I don't know about that.
I don't know. I would I would love to have
a small painting of that gneral And here comes a
flood of paintings just for you. Yes, please, guys, Well, yeah,
I'm not I'm okay with my head cut off. Maybe
make my eyes open so I don't look that bad.

(28:55):
But if you, if you're if you do want to
gift we that painting on Instagram. By the way, I
think I remember that the gentleman or lady who painted
that mural. We were all so blown away by how
amazing was in the spirit of a romance novel cover.
I commissioned them to do a Christmas gift for Bill

(29:15):
and Christa with Bill. Do you remember this? It was?
It was like poster size painting of like a romance
cover with Bill being super ripped and Christa, you know,
with cleavage and all sex he like draped on him
like a like a like in the classic romance novel.
And it was amazing, and I knew the second I
gave it to them, they were like, thank you. What

(29:39):
are we going to do with this? Like I was
so excited, and I of course it wasn't cheap, I
like commissioned up fucking painting. And then the second their
reaction to it was like, ha, ha, that's never going
anywhere like on our wall or I mean I never
saw it again. I should ask Christa where it is.
I don't need I don't it needs to be like

(30:01):
I think. You know, obviously they're a very fancy home,
but I thought it could be like a funny thing
in his office. No, that thing was never ever ever hung.
You know, when you think you've the best idea for
a gift for some money, you're so excited and you're
so excited and you think about it and then you
even like take the time to wrap it well because
you're like this, and then they give it to them

(30:22):
and they're like, great, I go out on my way
to be a good gift receiver. I think some people
are really bad gift receivers. Listen, this is you're one
of them. This is fuck you, dude. You remember when
I went all out to give you those people on
the podcast heard it. I gave you all those those

(30:42):
those special yeah, and you were like, I have these
so mean. I was joking, though, I know my feelings
are still hurt. My kids are like that man, you
on Christmas Day, you know, my wife wraps the gifts
and they're looking so good, and they opened the gifts
and within seconds of opening it, they're on to the

(31:02):
next gift. Man, So I would have trouble with that.
I know a lot of our listeners have children that
open their gifts and aren't grateful, and I know kids
need to be learned that skill. I know their children.
I'm just saying that would be hard for me. Yeah.
I used to send all my knees and nephew's big
ass checks for holidays and birthdays and I would never

(31:24):
hear anything. So I started creeping the number down. Love.
It was like, if you're gonna if you're not gonna
call or write a letter, that numbers coming down right exactly,
exactly exactly. That's the best thing. That's the new thing. Look,
you gotta teach your Let me tell you. Sorry, interrupt you, Donald,

(31:46):
but please, if you're listening, you've got to teach your
children to to to to express gratitude to to someone
who gives them a present. Obviously, classy is write a letter,
write a thank you note. But if that's not going
to have them happen, have them call. When I give
someone's kid a present. And I'm not talking about little children, obviously,

(32:08):
the parents like thank you so much. Right, I'm talking
about a kid who can write a thank you note,
a kid who can call you and be like, thanks, uncle, Zach.
My daughter writes stories about you. But your daughter is Casey,
not you. You got not doing it. Casey has clearly
taught your your child how to be a very good

(32:28):
gift receiver. Mark my assistants children, Oh my goodness, they
make me these paintings. They go all out stickers. You
know what, Zach, you can kiss my ass man for
you can kiss me. You're the one who's speaking a
wilder about doing a beautiful piece of artwork. Is a

(32:48):
thank you? Not for me, It's it's it's you, Casey Wilder. Wilder,
hold on, let me just put this blunt out Wilder.
I want you to write, uncle, Zach and thank you
know all right? The janitor? Um. Oh wait, hold on,

(33:12):
I just got told something and it kind of hurt
my heart. But have you told have you been told
yet that something that you do in bed is a
pet peeve of somebody? Your wife told you after all
these years, she has a pet peeve, she said, She
said to me, Oh boy, she said to me today,
she said, baby, we were doing it and it was

(33:34):
great up until you did this long with your mouth
on this podcast. Oh my god, wait no, this was
why we were doing it. Like I was like, oh yeah, baby,
and like the spit with the drool was falling out
of my love sound like I'm Relaca are a trap? Dude? Yeah, don't.

(34:12):
I don't think any any any woman or man would
like a loud slurp in their face. Dude it you know, listen,
I'm gonna keep it one hundred with you. Keep it
with one hundred. You just did. I think I think
you kept it one. You're not cutting this, by the way,
there's no fucking way you're cutting. I'm gonna keep it
one hundred with y'all. Um. I didn't know I was

(34:32):
doing it like so one time when when I was
doing He's drool on her face due one time. So
when I was doing Remember the Titans, I remember, everybody
was like, yo, what Harris does a great impersonation of you?
And I was like what. They were like, yeah, what
Harris does a great impersonation of you? And I thought
it Wood was gonna be like capture my essence, like

(34:53):
my voice and all of that stuff. All the fucker
kept doing was going like this, hey guys, it's me Donald.
What's going on everybody? And sucking on a spit And
so I didn't know I did that. And so when
my wife said that I did it in bed, it
just like you're gonna now you're gonna be all in
your head next time you have I don't know if
I can have sex anymore. Now just hold your breath

(35:15):
full time. Maybe that's a long time, or what about
getting a snorkel? That's slurping too. Though I didn't realize
I did it. I'm a slurper. She loves you, you
know what, it's you know, what's a testament to Casey?
That that and here's advice for you out there from

(35:36):
a fake doctor. She was open with you and she
shared she could have held it in and been like,
oh my god, this motherfucker and his slurping. But she
told you you have to share with your partner, and
now I must and now I must be conscious of it.
And yeah, now you can improve your sales. I can
improve my I can improve my skills. There's maybe there's

(35:59):
something you can just I just leveled up. Maybe you
could do something right before the act, like she's getting
ready and she's getting sexually, like hold on, baby, and
then you run and like get some bread or something
that would soak up. I have some bread in the nights,
on the on on on on on the on, the

(36:22):
on the on the good side of things, yes, you know,
my wife still makes me my mouth water. So there's that.
There is that you're you're perfectly matched. I'm so happy.
There's so many people who aren't perfectly matched, and and
your wife most certainly are. The janitor is also a pediatrist,

(36:50):
and um, he's a bunch of things. Now he's a
bunch of things. I laughed when he says to Celts
to uh, Cox, I also buy and sell feet, So
I the way you want to go, I got you covered.
So now that that story wise gives Cox a cane
like house because the paint falls on his foot. Right,

(37:14):
Let's let's get metaphorically into this JD getting shot in
the heart at the end when she decides to leave.
It was great. You know, I was wondering, what, what's
the point of this paintball? You know, Yeah, him missing
throughout the show and try to tune it in and
then he nails it at the right point when he's
when Jad's heartbroken. This um this broken heart Synder. I mean,

(37:38):
I can't believe that's a real thing. We all feel
broken hearted when when when horrible things happened. But the
fact that that this woman lost her husband and it
was it was quite literally physically affecting her heart. I
did not know that that was a thing, and it
obviously must be, or it wouldn't be in the show. Well,

(38:00):
we can manifest so many things in life, you know
what I mean. We talk about the white board, We
talk about so many things that we can manifest in
a positive way. You know, who's to say we can't
manifest horrible things? Who's we can't put those things out there? Well,
I'm saying, I'm just saying I never knew that the
heartbreak in some people could truly manifest a physical heart problem.

(38:24):
That that that's very interesting. Yeah. Um, this box of
Kitten's Gift, I think is one of the most It
makes a lot way before we mave one. It makes
a lot of sense in Revenge of the Sith when
pad May dies of a broken heart. You know, oh, Joel,
you're not here, You're not feeling that. You're not feeling that.

(38:45):
She's literally a warrior queen by the age of fifteen,
and then she dies of a broken heart and a well,
the dude force choked her. If force choking is what
killed her that they specifically say, there's nothing wrong with her,
She's dying of unbroken all right. I don't know then.
I don't know how you could like, you know, uh,
the last Jedi then if that's the case, because there's

(39:08):
a lot of flaws in that too, nobody dies fire, No, No,
that world sacrifices herself in one of the most beautiful
displays of humanity we've seen in Star Wars. It's amazing. Stop.
You mean the character that nobody's ever heard of before
she was in two books. We can't have this conversation again, damn,

(39:30):
can you? I don't have a snore sound effect. Can
you come right here? Obi Wan got everybody hype Zach,
obi Wan got everybody hype? Man like that shit is fine?
That should look fire. This box of kittens gift is
probably one of the most common scrubs gifts I've ever seen.

(39:53):
If you're looking for a gift to to express changing
some one's mood around, I highly recommend the box of
kittens being poured onto a man scrubs gift. I see
it all the time, don't you, Donald, I don't. The
one I see all the time is the one of
us hugging each other and rubbing each other's uh yes,

(40:16):
cheeks and faces. Yeah. I also love the one of
us running to each other when when you were away
on your honeymoon and then I leaned back. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
do the lift, do the lift. Yeah. I see those
two a lot um. By the way, they're coming out
with a sixty second tea mobile ade for me and Donald.

(40:36):
I saw. It's very funny, nice, very funny. Get a
little bit, you get a little more Donald dancing, which
everybody loves, and uh, it's pretty hilarious when when you
do that move with that when you do that move
with the with your hand across your face a lot
high hilarious. You know, I was getting worried because I
hadn't been seeing this commercial air anywhere. And then I

(40:58):
was watching basketball and it aired like four times during
like the Warriors game. Oh good, which was really good
because Rocco's a huge Warriors fan. Oh. I took Rocco
to a game. Oh man, I took Rocco to see
the Lakers Warriors game. And this dude is cheering for
the Warriors in freaking what is it the crypto dot

(41:19):
com Arina, Oh my god, what's it called now? Crypto
dot Com, the Crypto dot Com Arena or the crypt
for short. Oh my god, um, sweet, were you embarrassed, Arnold? No,
not at all. I'm proud of the kid. He's very
brave man to step on freaking the lad you know,
to step into you know, Laker territory and cheer like

(41:41):
that for the Warriors. But then the Warriors lost, and
it was really funny to watch all of these grown
people look back at him like your little jack. Oh dude,
he held his tears back and everything. I was so
proud of him. He took it like a he took
it like a champ man. You know, a lot of
basketball has been happening for Rocco lately, and he's he's

(42:02):
excelling at it. He's really really excelling at it um
and literally made your mini me. Well, no, I didn't
make my mini me. I didn't excel at basketball like this,
like when you created a minime. He likes Star Wars
and basketball. He hates Star Wars now, oh really, Star
Wars is out the window. Oh what about Marvel? No,

(42:24):
he doesn't like Marvel. He likes his basketball like Zelda.
Oh hell yeah, okay, you know, and he likes to
read and he's reading Harry Potter books right now. Like
that's what that's what he's into. Oh I would have
thought you would have made him a Star Wars freak.
I tried it. Tried my best flute close to the sun. Yeah, man,

(42:45):
I tried with my daughter too. Didn't work. It didn't work,
all right. How about the rom com ending fantasy where
I run through the airport, uh to greet Kim at
the gate? You know what? It kind of reminded me
of what gardens? Yeah right away. Well, it's like it's
a bit of a trope. The and Friends, Right, didn't

(43:06):
Friends do this? I never watched Friends, but I know,
I don't know. I don't know Juell Daniel or where
you friends watching. At the end of season one, Rachel
runs to meet Ross before he gets on the plane,
but he has on headphones and he misses her. And
when he comes back and the premier season two he
has a girlfriend. Okay, there, I knew that there was
a Friends. But you know it is a classic movie trope,

(43:28):
the running to the gate, which you can't even do anymore.
Can't even do it anymore. Yeah, you used to be
able to. For those of you who are young, you
could actually walk some someone to the gate and say
goodbye to them. There them days is over. But then
then security needed to be heightened. And uh, and you
obviously have to stop at security. But back in the day,

(43:49):
you could walk some under the gate. Yeah, no more
and greet them at the gate. You could come out
of the gate and your family would be standing there.
They were right there. Nice. Now you gotta wait for baggage. Clean. Now,
let's get that shirt off. Oh my god, that was
so funny. They are so funny how she would just

(44:12):
go with any fucking joke, remember her in forty year
old version. Yes, yes, she's so game and funny. Then
let's get that shirt off. There they are, and then
and then we cut out of the fantasy and she goes.
So then everyone watches us do it and claps after Yeah,

(44:33):
I go and I go d and so in Jad's fantasy,
we have full sex there at the gate and everyone watches, yes,
and then applauds yeah, no, yes, yes, once we're finished, yes,
right after slow clap, slow clap. I wouldn't want to

(44:59):
slow clap if I if I did that, I'd want
thunderous applause right away. I wouldn't want us. I think
a slope. If you banged your partner in front of
a group of people outside the gate, and they're so moving,
and they are so you're saying, you're saying, they are
so moved by the act. That's what the slow clap,

(45:22):
the slow clap is you didn't have. They were like,
I can't believe they're fucking in front of us right now,
I can't believe they're doing this, this is happening. But
somewhere in there you win them over. No, that's not
what I would want. I would want us. I would
want us both to climax at the same time. And
everyone just breaks out and just a huge applause and cheer,

(45:44):
and you're just thrilled. Okay, all right, everybody where. It's
a quick break, and we're back with a guest. Right back,
and we're back, you know what I mean? We back
and we have a guest. Let's see who is a song?
That song? Joelle? What gift in human form have you

(46:06):
brought us today? We got all we can talk, you know,
like a booke, maybe talking about the episode. So come on, Joelle,
let's get hey for Gracie. Hey, Hi, Gracie. Don't be nervous.

(46:33):
Donald's still going don't be nervous. That's Donald's still saying
your name and the legendary Joel Monique and uh and
Daniel Daniel Daniel Goodman, DJ Daniel Goodman and Gracie. You're
wearing a Nirvana sweatshirt, so you had me at hello.
Here we are now? Um Uh. Joelle tells us you

(46:54):
have a great question. Uh, what is it? What's your
question for us? My question is if you were wrestlers,
what would your entrance theme songs be? Oh my god, Donald,
it's gonna be done done. Do you know I've told

(47:15):
you this story, um, Gracie, and the first on the podcast,
I believe, but um at my bar mitzvah when I entered,
um my favorite story the time. It's so incredibly embarrassing,
but I not even know what's happening. But um, because
I was thirteen and confused, and they just said, walked
through those doors. And I walked through the doors and

(47:36):
a spotlight hit me, and they and they played that spotlight.
When that spotlight hit you, you knew exactly what to do, though,
didn't you. I knew the strut in my tails. That's right,
you were like, all of a sudden, the assignment was
understood that. Oh yes, let me tell you something. If
you've been to theater camp and you're wearing tails and

(47:59):
a spotlight hits you and they crank, Let's hear him
for the boys? You know this drip, So, Gracie, that's
a very good question. Mine would definitely be let's hear
it for the boy And my character would be a
musical theater star turned wrestler. Oh that would be so dope,
all right, Donald, what would yours being? Well, it would

(48:19):
definitely be freaking some type of Imperial March themed which
one there's so many you love? Well, you know, you
know the original one would be like dune Dune, dut Dune,
done dut dune, dune dun dun us. I know it's not,
but that would have been like before the Imperial March,
but then after the Imperial March it's done du du

(48:44):
that it would be so hard to to come out
with that thing on the and have a mask on
over your face and freaking and not take the mask off,
just freaking get up on that in that ring and
beat somebody's ass and then walk out to freaking the
Imperial March too. Bah bah bah. It would cost so
much money though, that's the only problem. Well, I bet
there could be a tie in with um with with

(49:07):
with with with, But then I can't lose. Then I
can't lose. Yeah, all right, I can't lose. That's that's
your answer wrestlings, real, Daniel, you're a wrestling fan, Gracie, No,
I'm not. I just it's just the question I like
to ask people when I think it's clever. I'm confused. Um,

(49:28):
when I watch wrestling, I know that adults know that
it's staged. But when I see how impassioned they get,
and I get it, it's rooting for a character and
it's it's it's like theater. It's but but it is.
It is trippy sometimes when you see how how aggressive
and angry um grown men get. Do you give anybody alcohol?

(49:52):
What's that? You give anybody alcohol? And then they just
get hammered and they're gonna get crazy. So they just say,
a sport event, you know what I mean? And and
it has sport and a lot of sport in it too.
You know, there's just I mean, how do you not
get charged when you go see that sommer? They're obviously

(50:13):
watching great athleticism and they know, even though they know
it's a set storyline, they they're involved in the show,
in the playofkay. I get that makes sense? Yeah, thank you.
Guys just explained it to me. And I know you
guys are busy, but just really really quick. Yeah. I
just want to let you know that I've met the
most amazing group of friends that we call each other

(50:34):
family now through this podcast. There's sixteen of us. They're
sixteen of us from all over the world. We have
a discord that Daniel's actually a part of the SDR discord.
Oh okay, how do people join your group or do
you not want them to? Um? No, we have we
have a public one and then we have like our

(50:55):
family one of god, it's just us. Okay, But on Discord,
if they just search for FDRF podcast, they should be.
If you're on Discord, f DRF podcast and you can
be a part of the discord. But yeah, So we're
about to celebrate our year friend aniversary because we all
met after a live show and we've been talking to

(51:16):
each other and having zoom nights and a couple of
us met in person. Guys, but Joel's crying. U No,
that's sweet. Listen, Gracie, from the bottom of my heart.
All sincerity, bringing people together, that's that's that's all we
wanted to do. And uh and and this is so fun. Yeah,

(51:38):
and it keeps growing and growing and growing. You guys,
we can't believe we got it. We got another email
from will our overlord saying how how incredibly popular this
is globally and we just want to thank you from
the from the bottom of our hearts. Uh, Donal Donald
say something meaningful. You're smart and wise, and well, well
I'm not I'm not smart and I'm not wise. I've

(51:59):
been on this planet in a while and I didn't
I haven't picked up much. But I do know one thing.
For for fake doctors, real friends to be the way
it is right now, for people to be listening to
us like that and bringing people together is all we
really wanted to do in the first place. That's why
you get into show business, you know what I mean.
And so to hear that, to hear that there's a

(52:22):
group of people that, uh that that are fans of us,
and such good fans that they've even they've they've found
common ground, uh to talk, eat chat. Maybe we want
of y'all get married out of this whole situation. I
don't know. But if but if you do, if you do,
Donald Faison, not turk, Donald Donald, Okay, cool all. And

(52:47):
I just want to thank you, Gracie, and thanks everybody
um for a great show. And I just want to
remind everyone don't forget Please March eighteenth, check out Cheaper
by the dozen, watch with your kids. If you don't
have kids watching anyway, you're gonna crack up. I guarantee
you you're gonna have some some giggles, and I'm so
excited to have my my fake doctor's real friends posse

(53:10):
with me on the red carpet on the sixteenth. That's
what it is, I believe the premiere, but it reaches
all of you on Disney Plus on the eighteenth, So
thank you so much. Please check it out. Donald, shout
out Gracie, Gracie, thanks for being on the show. Shout
out the shout out the name of your group. It's like,
it's like, what's what's the name of its Clang Woo
Tang Forever, Gracie. You go to discord, which is a site, right,

(53:35):
and you and you just google a sorry and you
just type in f d r F and they'll find you. Right,
you can join us little I find little family, Join
Tang Forever. And then Donald wants to go out and
Wu Tang Forever. So I'll just say Wu Tang forever
about show we made. N I said, he's the stories nephew,

(54:03):
A should go. So gather around you, here are gather
around you, here are scut free, watch your wings and
then mm hmmmm,